Shade: Thanks for reading.
Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh Also, any people, living or dead, whose names are the same as any
person mentioned in this fan fic is purely conincidental.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Announcer: Live from the third molar in George Bushes mouth, it's Late Night with The Kaiba Brothers! Tonight, our guests include:
From Monty Pythons Flying Circus, it's John Cleese!
From that sailing camp in Victoria B.c. I went to in July, Lt. Tomboy and Anime Girl!!!
From the Betty Ford centre, Fade!
Our musical guest is The Traveling Wilburys!
And me? I'm that fat asshole who always eats the last chocolate biscut.
But now, lets bring on our host, Seto Kaiba!
(Seto runs on)
Seto: Greetings! (does a funky dance) For those concerned, Mokuba is... sick. Yes, thats it. He will not be attending. But now,
the news for parrots. (sits at the desk)
No parrots were involved in an accident on the highway today when a truck carrying High-octane fuel was in collison with a Mustang.
That's a MUSTANG and *NOT* a PARROT. A spokesman for parrots said he was glad no parrots were involved. The Minister of
Technology today met the three Russian leaders to discus a 4 million pound airliner deal....None of them entered the cage,
or swung on the little wooden trapeze or ate any of the nice millet seed. Yum, Yum.
(swings to face another camera)
And while thats going on, here's a parliamentary report for Humans:
In the debate, a spokesman accused the goverment of being silly and doing not at all good things. The member accepted this in
the spirit of healthy criticism, but denied that he had ever been naughty with a choir boy. Angry shouts of 'What about the
Watermelon then' were ordered then by the speaker to be stricken from the record and put into a brown paper bag in the lavvy.
Any further interruptions would be cut up and distributed amongst the poor. For the Government, a front-bench spokesman said
the Agricultural Tariff WOULD have to be raised. And he fancied a bit. Whats more he argued, this would give a large boost to
farmers, him, his friends, and Miss Moist of Knightsbridge. From the back benches there were opposition shouts of 'Postcards
for sale' and a healthy cry of 'Who likes a sailor then' from the minister without portfolio. Replying, the Shadow Minister
said he could no longer deny the rumors, but he and the Dachsund were very happy. And in any case he argued Rhubarb was cheap,
and what was the harm in a sauna bath?
We're not involved.
The Minister of Technology met the three Russian leaders to discuss a 4 million dollar airliner deal....none of them were
indigenous to Australia, carried their young in pouches, or ate any of those yummy Eucalyptus leaves..Yum Yum. Thats the news
for koalas...
(swings back to face original camera)
And now, lets bring on our first guest, John Cleese!
(John Cleese walks on, with cheers from the audience)
Seto: Johnny!
John: Hello Seto my boy. Lovely re-doing of one of my sketches.
Seto: Thanks.
John: So...
Seto: Yes, lovely job you did in Rat Race!
John: I sucked in that.
Seto: You think? (wipes forehead) Jesus, I thought I would have to put on that I liked that movie for the whole thing...
John: But anyway, hows your life going?
Seto: Eh, it's ok. (listens to his headset) Oh, I've just recieved word that Shade is coming on instead of Mokuba... (mumbles
something about Shade and other nasty things) Ok, John, everyone, its SHADE!!!
(Shade walks on, accompanyed by thousands of women screaming, crowds applauding and women taking off their tops and yelling
their love for Shade)
Shade: Ladies, please, I'm here all night! (waves, and then moves Seto over and sits in his chair) Thanks Seto!
Seto: Grr...
Shade: So, John, buddy. Got any hot gossip you want to share?
John: Anything for you Shade!
Seto: (grumbling) Lousy Shade... taking all my women and stealing my show...
Shade: What was that?
Seto: Nothing...
John: Moving on, let's just say that Brad Pitt has been- (is interrupted by Tea, Mai and that little girl who holds a Teddy
running on)
Tea: WHATS THIS ABOUT MY BRAD?!
John: Umm... nothing...
Mai: Get him! (a net drops on John and they drag him off)
Shade: Well, looks like he's in for a good time.
Seto: (mumbling) Thats my f*cking line, you f*cking cock knuckle...
Shade: Sorry, didn't catch that.
Seto: Continue, Shade.
Shade: Thanks. Now, I met these two on a sailing camp. Please welcome my two very special lady friends, Lt. Tomboy and Anime
Girl!!! (Anime Girl and Lt. Tomboy come on, accompanyed by cheers and cat calls. After hugging Shade and shaking Setos hand,
they sit down)
Shade: Greeting, my ladies.
Tomboy: Hey... who's this bozo? Sonto?
Seto: It's Seto. Seto Kaiba.
Tomboy: Yeah, whatever Sonto...
Anime Girl: Hey Seto! ^_^
Seto: (smiles) Hey. You must be that hopeless fan-girl Shade has been telling me about.
Anime Girl: Bastard! (slaps Shade)
Shade: F*ck!
Anime Girl: I hate you! (storms off)
Tomboy: That was harsh, Shade.
Shade: I DIDN"T SAY ANYTHING!!!
Seto: Heh heh heh...
Shade: (talks into head set) Uh huh... bring back A.G... and bring the paddle...
Seto: Huh?
Shade: And know it's time for...
Audience: SETOS PUBLIC SPANKING!!!
Seto: Oh sh*t. (tries to get away, but is pinned on the floor by Security)
Tomboy: This looks fun...
(Anime Girl comes on with a table tennis paddle)
Anime Girl: Thanks for the oppertunity Shade!
Shade: It's ok... Mwhahahahaha!!!
(Anime Girl starts spanking away at Seto)
Shade: Lets move onto our music. Give it up for the Travling Wilburys!
(Bob Dillan and the rest of the Wilburys come up and the music starts)
Bob Dillan:
Tweeter and the Monkey Man were hard up for cash
They stayed up all night selling cocaine and hash
To an undercover cop who had a sister named Jan
For reasons unexplained she loved the Monkey Man
Tweeter was a boy scout before she went to Vietnam
And found out the hard way nobody gives a damn
They knew that they found freedom just across the Jersey Line
So they hopped into a stolen car took Highway 99
Backup:
And the walls came down all the way to hell
Never saw them when they're standing
Never saw them when they fell
Bob Dillan:
The undercover cop never liked the Monkey Man
Even back in childhood he wanted to see him in the can
Jan got married at fourteen to a rackateer named Bill
She made secret calls to the Monkey Man from a mansion on the hill
It was out on thunder road - Tweeter at the wheel
They crashed into paradise - they could hear them tires squeal
The undercover cop pulled up and said "Everyone of you's a liar
If you don't surrender now it's gonna go down to the wire
Backup:
And the walls came down all the way to hell
Never saw them when they're standing
Never saw them when they fell
Bob Dillan:
An ambulance rolled up - a state trooper close behind
Tweeter took his gun away and messed up his mind
The undercover cop was left tied up to a tree
Near the souvenir stand by the old abandoned factory
Next day the undercover cop was hot in pursuit
He was taking the whole thing personal
He didn't care about the loot
Jan had told him many times it was you to me who taught
In Jersey anything's legal as long as you don't get caught
Backup:
And the walls came down all the way to hell
Never saw them when they're standing
Never saw them when they fell
Bob Dillan:
Someplace by Rahway prison they ran out of gas
The undercover cop had cornered them said "Boy, you didn't
think that this could last"
Jan jumped out of bed said "There's someplace I gotta go"
She took a gun out of the drawer and said "It's best if you dont' know"
The undercover cop was found face down in a field
The monkey man was on the river bridge using Tweeter as a shield
Jan said to the Monkey Man "I'm not fooled by Tweeter's curl
I knew him long before he ever became a Jersey girl"
Backup:
And the walls came down all the way to hell
Never saw them when they're standing
Never saw them when they fell
Bob Dillan:
Now the town of Jersey City is quieting down again
I'm sitting in a gambling club called the Lion's Den
The TV set been blown up, every bit of it is gone
Ever since the nightly news show that the Monkey Man was on
I guess I'll to to Florida and get myself some sun
There ain't no more opportunity here, everything's been done
Sometime I think of Tweeter, sometime I think of Jan
Sometime I don't think about nothing but the Monkey Man
Backup:
And the walls came down all the way to hell
Never saw them when they're standing
Never saw them when they fell
(they take their bows and leave)
Shade: Thank you guys! Now, how many spanks are we up to?
Announcer: We're up to 4,561 spanks, Shade!
Shade: Excellent. Now lets bring on my drug addicted ex-partner, Fade! (Fade is brought on by men in white coats)
Fade: Hello Charlie.
Shade: It's Shade. Now, how's it going? Still addicted to the drugs?
Fade: (eyes glaze over) They're coming to take me away, ha ha, they're coming to take me away, ho ho... To the funny farm! Where
life is beautiful all the time and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're coming to
take me AWAY!!!
Tomboy: You knew this guy?
Fade: (looks at Lt. Tomboy) Mmm, tasty! (attempts to rip her panties off with his teeth)
Tomboy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! (runs away)
Fade: I'm Fungry! (men in white drag him off)
Shade: Thats it for tonight. Join Seto and Mokuba next week for more crazy antics. Bye!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Shade: Please send in ideas for guests! If you want to be on my show, then say so! Please review!
Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh Also, any people, living or dead, whose names are the same as any
person mentioned in this fan fic is purely conincidental.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Announcer: Live from the third molar in George Bushes mouth, it's Late Night with The Kaiba Brothers! Tonight, our guests include:
From Monty Pythons Flying Circus, it's John Cleese!
From that sailing camp in Victoria B.c. I went to in July, Lt. Tomboy and Anime Girl!!!
From the Betty Ford centre, Fade!
Our musical guest is The Traveling Wilburys!
And me? I'm that fat asshole who always eats the last chocolate biscut.
But now, lets bring on our host, Seto Kaiba!
(Seto runs on)
Seto: Greetings! (does a funky dance) For those concerned, Mokuba is... sick. Yes, thats it. He will not be attending. But now,
the news for parrots. (sits at the desk)
No parrots were involved in an accident on the highway today when a truck carrying High-octane fuel was in collison with a Mustang.
That's a MUSTANG and *NOT* a PARROT. A spokesman for parrots said he was glad no parrots were involved. The Minister of
Technology today met the three Russian leaders to discus a 4 million pound airliner deal....None of them entered the cage,
or swung on the little wooden trapeze or ate any of the nice millet seed. Yum, Yum.
(swings to face another camera)
And while thats going on, here's a parliamentary report for Humans:
In the debate, a spokesman accused the goverment of being silly and doing not at all good things. The member accepted this in
the spirit of healthy criticism, but denied that he had ever been naughty with a choir boy. Angry shouts of 'What about the
Watermelon then' were ordered then by the speaker to be stricken from the record and put into a brown paper bag in the lavvy.
Any further interruptions would be cut up and distributed amongst the poor. For the Government, a front-bench spokesman said
the Agricultural Tariff WOULD have to be raised. And he fancied a bit. Whats more he argued, this would give a large boost to
farmers, him, his friends, and Miss Moist of Knightsbridge. From the back benches there were opposition shouts of 'Postcards
for sale' and a healthy cry of 'Who likes a sailor then' from the minister without portfolio. Replying, the Shadow Minister
said he could no longer deny the rumors, but he and the Dachsund were very happy. And in any case he argued Rhubarb was cheap,
and what was the harm in a sauna bath?
We're not involved.
The Minister of Technology met the three Russian leaders to discuss a 4 million dollar airliner deal....none of them were
indigenous to Australia, carried their young in pouches, or ate any of those yummy Eucalyptus leaves..Yum Yum. Thats the news
for koalas...
(swings back to face original camera)
And now, lets bring on our first guest, John Cleese!
(John Cleese walks on, with cheers from the audience)
Seto: Johnny!
John: Hello Seto my boy. Lovely re-doing of one of my sketches.
Seto: Thanks.
John: So...
Seto: Yes, lovely job you did in Rat Race!
John: I sucked in that.
Seto: You think? (wipes forehead) Jesus, I thought I would have to put on that I liked that movie for the whole thing...
John: But anyway, hows your life going?
Seto: Eh, it's ok. (listens to his headset) Oh, I've just recieved word that Shade is coming on instead of Mokuba... (mumbles
something about Shade and other nasty things) Ok, John, everyone, its SHADE!!!
(Shade walks on, accompanyed by thousands of women screaming, crowds applauding and women taking off their tops and yelling
their love for Shade)
Shade: Ladies, please, I'm here all night! (waves, and then moves Seto over and sits in his chair) Thanks Seto!
Seto: Grr...
Shade: So, John, buddy. Got any hot gossip you want to share?
John: Anything for you Shade!
Seto: (grumbling) Lousy Shade... taking all my women and stealing my show...
Shade: What was that?
Seto: Nothing...
John: Moving on, let's just say that Brad Pitt has been- (is interrupted by Tea, Mai and that little girl who holds a Teddy
running on)
Tea: WHATS THIS ABOUT MY BRAD?!
John: Umm... nothing...
Mai: Get him! (a net drops on John and they drag him off)
Shade: Well, looks like he's in for a good time.
Seto: (mumbling) Thats my f*cking line, you f*cking cock knuckle...
Shade: Sorry, didn't catch that.
Seto: Continue, Shade.
Shade: Thanks. Now, I met these two on a sailing camp. Please welcome my two very special lady friends, Lt. Tomboy and Anime
Girl!!! (Anime Girl and Lt. Tomboy come on, accompanyed by cheers and cat calls. After hugging Shade and shaking Setos hand,
they sit down)
Shade: Greeting, my ladies.
Tomboy: Hey... who's this bozo? Sonto?
Seto: It's Seto. Seto Kaiba.
Tomboy: Yeah, whatever Sonto...
Anime Girl: Hey Seto! ^_^
Seto: (smiles) Hey. You must be that hopeless fan-girl Shade has been telling me about.
Anime Girl: Bastard! (slaps Shade)
Shade: F*ck!
Anime Girl: I hate you! (storms off)
Tomboy: That was harsh, Shade.
Shade: I DIDN"T SAY ANYTHING!!!
Seto: Heh heh heh...
Shade: (talks into head set) Uh huh... bring back A.G... and bring the paddle...
Seto: Huh?
Shade: And know it's time for...
Audience: SETOS PUBLIC SPANKING!!!
Seto: Oh sh*t. (tries to get away, but is pinned on the floor by Security)
Tomboy: This looks fun...
(Anime Girl comes on with a table tennis paddle)
Anime Girl: Thanks for the oppertunity Shade!
Shade: It's ok... Mwhahahahaha!!!
(Anime Girl starts spanking away at Seto)
Shade: Lets move onto our music. Give it up for the Travling Wilburys!
(Bob Dillan and the rest of the Wilburys come up and the music starts)
Bob Dillan:
Tweeter and the Monkey Man were hard up for cash
They stayed up all night selling cocaine and hash
To an undercover cop who had a sister named Jan
For reasons unexplained she loved the Monkey Man
Tweeter was a boy scout before she went to Vietnam
And found out the hard way nobody gives a damn
They knew that they found freedom just across the Jersey Line
So they hopped into a stolen car took Highway 99
Backup:
And the walls came down all the way to hell
Never saw them when they're standing
Never saw them when they fell
Bob Dillan:
The undercover cop never liked the Monkey Man
Even back in childhood he wanted to see him in the can
Jan got married at fourteen to a rackateer named Bill
She made secret calls to the Monkey Man from a mansion on the hill
It was out on thunder road - Tweeter at the wheel
They crashed into paradise - they could hear them tires squeal
The undercover cop pulled up and said "Everyone of you's a liar
If you don't surrender now it's gonna go down to the wire
Backup:
And the walls came down all the way to hell
Never saw them when they're standing
Never saw them when they fell
Bob Dillan:
An ambulance rolled up - a state trooper close behind
Tweeter took his gun away and messed up his mind
The undercover cop was left tied up to a tree
Near the souvenir stand by the old abandoned factory
Next day the undercover cop was hot in pursuit
He was taking the whole thing personal
He didn't care about the loot
Jan had told him many times it was you to me who taught
In Jersey anything's legal as long as you don't get caught
Backup:
And the walls came down all the way to hell
Never saw them when they're standing
Never saw them when they fell
Bob Dillan:
Someplace by Rahway prison they ran out of gas
The undercover cop had cornered them said "Boy, you didn't
think that this could last"
Jan jumped out of bed said "There's someplace I gotta go"
She took a gun out of the drawer and said "It's best if you dont' know"
The undercover cop was found face down in a field
The monkey man was on the river bridge using Tweeter as a shield
Jan said to the Monkey Man "I'm not fooled by Tweeter's curl
I knew him long before he ever became a Jersey girl"
Backup:
And the walls came down all the way to hell
Never saw them when they're standing
Never saw them when they fell
Bob Dillan:
Now the town of Jersey City is quieting down again
I'm sitting in a gambling club called the Lion's Den
The TV set been blown up, every bit of it is gone
Ever since the nightly news show that the Monkey Man was on
I guess I'll to to Florida and get myself some sun
There ain't no more opportunity here, everything's been done
Sometime I think of Tweeter, sometime I think of Jan
Sometime I don't think about nothing but the Monkey Man
Backup:
And the walls came down all the way to hell
Never saw them when they're standing
Never saw them when they fell
(they take their bows and leave)
Shade: Thank you guys! Now, how many spanks are we up to?
Announcer: We're up to 4,561 spanks, Shade!
Shade: Excellent. Now lets bring on my drug addicted ex-partner, Fade! (Fade is brought on by men in white coats)
Fade: Hello Charlie.
Shade: It's Shade. Now, how's it going? Still addicted to the drugs?
Fade: (eyes glaze over) They're coming to take me away, ha ha, they're coming to take me away, ho ho... To the funny farm! Where
life is beautiful all the time and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're coming to
take me AWAY!!!
Tomboy: You knew this guy?
Fade: (looks at Lt. Tomboy) Mmm, tasty! (attempts to rip her panties off with his teeth)
Tomboy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! (runs away)
Fade: I'm Fungry! (men in white drag him off)
Shade: Thats it for tonight. Join Seto and Mokuba next week for more crazy antics. Bye!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Shade: Please send in ideas for guests! If you want to be on my show, then say so! Please review!