Nimmy: *looks at Voldemort who is whining* Shut up...
Voldemort: can I please stay on the show?
Nimmy: No.
Voldemort: can I please stay on the show?
Nimmy: No.
Voldemort: can I please stay on the show?
Nimmy: No.
Voldemort: can I please stay on the show?
Nimmy: No.
*this goes on for hours*
*sam a mysterious witch walks in and whats left of the Audience after Voldie's... erm... ballet, if you could call it that... goes wild... erm... sorta wild, as wild as to be expected from an Audience that has lost 60 members already*
Nimmy: *gives Voldie a good, hard kick, and tells him to rot in the place he came from* And please welcome Sam, I trust she needs no introduction... okay well... since she might, Sam tell us about yourself *smiles and kicks Voldie again from under her chair*
sam: well i am a modern pureblood witch. i am one of the strongest in the world and voldemort tried to kill me once
Nimmy: Oh?
Nimmy: How?
sam: yes he came to my house killed my parents *wipes away a tear* and tried to kill me to but i survived kinda like harry's story only i defended myself with magic
Nimmy: This was before Harry right?
sam: yes
Harry: *kicks sam from under chair; glaring*
Nimmy: Harry! I saw that...
Harry: *innocintly* saw what?
sam: Ow! what was that for harry?
Nimmy: He must be jelious
Harry: Am not!
Nimmy: are too!
sam: then why did you kick me?
Harry: Nu-uh! I'm not jelious *grows nose like Pinnochio*
sam: uh huh
Harry: because I'm the boy who lived... you cant be "the girl who lived"
Nimmy: Harry thats jeliousy, you don't want anyone taking your spot light
sam: well what am i *the girl that died and came bak to life*?
Nimmy: yes... you must be the girl who died and came back to life, I read about you...
Harry: Nimmy! Give her the boot just like you did to voldie!
Nimmy: No!
Harry: Yes!
Nimmy: No!
Harry: Yes!
Nimmy: No!
Harry: Yes!
Nimmy: No!
Harry: Yes!
Nimmy: No!
Harry: Yes!
Nimmy: No!
Harry: Yes!
Nimmy: No!
Harry: Yes!
*10 minutes later...*
sam: o ya i am the girl who died and came bak to life
sam: how dare you say to boot me off!! *kicks harry the hardest she could*
Harry: *sits there stupidly* well that was painful, and it took you that long to realize...
sam: i hope it was painful, and I was thinking, so it wasn't my fault!!!!!!!! *smiles to nimmy*
Nimmy: *smiles back* *evil grin to harry* you know... Harry, wouldnt it be very funny if you asked hermione out?
Harry: I can't find Hermione, let alone Ron. And anyway, I don't like Hermione
Nimmy: Ah... l'amour l'amour... and then denial denial... well then... out with it harry, who do you like?
Harry: *blushes* I'd rather not... erm... say... since you know her very well...
sam: yes it would be funny to ask her out... or whoever you liii-ike *teasing voice* *stares at harry* o i wonder why you cant find them... *smiles and evil grin* But truthfully, Harry... who is it?
Harry: *looks at Nimmy*
Nimmy: The pain! The HORROR!! Actually just the horror... wait! What am I saying!?! I like you too Harry! Even though you're fictional... *covers mouth* oops...
Nimmy: look! Snape is looking quite pale *changes subject*
Snape: *groan: AHHHHHHH *softer and softer* hhhhh....gggghhh *faints*
Harry: *still quiet; comtemplating what him being "fictional" means...* *Harry thinks in that echoey voice that TV people when they think* (this will be used when anyone thinks things that I THINK should be heard) ~... Fictional... I can't be a book charecter, it must be "girlenese" for 'boring' or 'stupid' or... *gulp* 'ugly'?! No... that can't be... she said she loves me... erm... likes me... I wish she loved me... I love her... but I can't be a book charecter~
sam: uh o i wonder why that happened... *evil grin gets bigger*
Nimmy: Sam...? what did you do?
sam: its not like i made a bad potion for him to test purposly *evil grin gets as big as it can*
Nimmy: Well... what happened to Hermione and Ron?
Harry: *shrugs* Didn't you know?
Nimmy: Know what? I know all! *evil laugh*
Harry: Obviously not this...
*Voldemort comes back in, rubbing his backside*
Voldemort: That was quite a kick.
Nimmy: Thank you much.
Sam: Nimmy, that isn't really correct grammer...
Nimmy: I know
Voldemort: So what are we talking about? Oh and I saw Ron and Hermione making out backstage... And WHO is this? *looks at Sam*
Sam: *nervous* heh... heh... um... n- no one...
Voldemort: What'd'ya say we go out tonight?
Sam: *raises wand---* ADVRA KADAVRA!!!!!!!!!
Voldemort: *dies*
Audience: yay... *monotone* ((and there was much rejoicing...))((from what was left of the audience)) (((I love Monty Python...)))
Nimmy: Well that solves that problem...
Sam: *kicks dead Voldie* That was for killing Cedric, attempting to kill me, not killing Harry (not like he didn't try...), or Malfoy... *an so on and so forth*
*One hour later after Sam has finished her list*
Nimmy: You forgot a couple of people...
Harry: ... *still thinking* ~Okay... I'm going to speak up...~ Nimmy...? what do you mean by fictional?
Nimmy: *gasp* You don't know?
Harry: Know what?! You love me! Tell me!!
Nimmy: I never said I LOVED you... but now that you mention it...
Sam: You love him...? *disgusted*
Nimmy: Maaaaybe...
Harry: Well...? I need an answer...
Nimmy: To what question?
Harry: To both!
Nimmy: Both of what?
Harry: The questions!
Nimmy: WHAT QUESTIONS?!
Announcer: And now... a comercial break...
**Britney Spears' Album Comercial**
*Blonde girl that strangely resembles Britney herself with a wig on comes out*
*Girl is dressed in a denim mini skirt that is very short--- too short, and a cammie, with black boots that go up past the knees*
Girl: Like OH MY GAWD!!! Like this album is like tote'lly cool! And it made me cool too! I went from this:
*Picture of girl with glasses on, her face is oily*
Girl: To like this!:
*picture of self*
*Another girl walks on, it looks like Britney with a brown wig on, same attire as the other girl*
Girl 2: And I lost 25 lbs. with her new album!
*another girl comes out, her hair is blonde, same attire as last two girls*
Girl 3: And this taught me how to red... I mean read!
Girls 1 and 2 together: Thank you, Britney!!!
Girl 3: What's this say again?
*Britney comes on*
Britney: That's right girls! If you need a new look or help, buy my album. You know, it can be hard to live up to the expoctz--- Damn... umm... Darn... Martin... Whats the word? *yells past camera*
Muffled Voice: Expectations!
Britney: Thanks! It can be hard to live up to the expectations of others... Believe me, I know. That's why I hired other people to write my music for me--- *claps hand over mouth* I mean... Thats why I, MYSELF, wrote the song, 'I'm not a Girl, Not yet a Woman.' Then what am I, you ask? A man, baby... *claps hand over mouth* erm... actually I mean...What am I to say that to say my album will work for you? A person. And I need YOU to try it. And I know it will work for you! So call this toll number now. The number is at the bottom of your screen. Martin! *whine* I don't see it! Why isn't it popping up!? Should I just read the number? *waits* Okay! 1-868-232-599 ((not a real number, I just made it up... lol)) call in the next ten minutes and you will recieve this doll of me! Thats right! Me! And it.... er she... sings my repetitive songs, that corrupt today's youth, such as "Oops I did it again" as her skirt comes off. And it sings "Hit me Baby One More Time" frequently. And it also cries as you hit her, and interacts with the doll of Justin Timberlake... Watch this!
*Britney Spears in pigtails, and a pink flowered dress comes out with a Britney Spears Doll*
*Christina Aguilera comes out in pigtails, wearing a lavender floral patterned dress, with a hole cut in the center to show her belly button; she has Interactive an Justin Timberlake Doll at her side*
*Both sit down frowning at eachother*
Britney: I can't believe I have to work with YOU!!
Christina: Well I was in Lady Marmelade! And you weren't and everyone hates you!
Britney: Bit---
*see a guy come out and whisper something to both of them*
*Both shoot dirty looks at eachother and go on*
Christina: *talks in a forced man's voice* Hi, Britney! Would you like to go out on a date?
Britney: *own voice* Yes, Justin! I'd love to!
Christina: Would you like to go steady? ~Now I'll break her dolls heart *thinks evil laugh* and then I'll break her plastic nose, Britney's that is...~ ~More plastic than a Barbie doll, or a Britney Spears doll~ *snickers*
Britney: I'd love to! ~Man I'd like to bitch slap her...~
Christina: *makes Justin doll come over to Britney doll* *makes Justin Doll give Britney Doll a kiss*
*Dolls have magnetized lips and a timer on when to release the magnets...*
Christina: *own voice* They're stuck! My doll is stuck to your doll!
Britney: AWWW! Look they love eachother!!!!
Christina: ew...
*They finally manage to pull dolls away*
Christina: *forced voice* Britney, you are a terrible kisser! I am breaking up with you! And you sing bad!
*upon hearing these words, the Britney Doll's eyes tear and the cold water from the tears causes the once happy face, into a sad face*
Britney: BEE-OTCH!! *Jumps on Christina*
*Cat fight*
Anouncer: You've heard the word! Buy Britney's Album!
**And you shall wait until the next chapter to hear more... the answer next time on... "Nimmy Speaks- So Silence Mortal!!!" only on ABCOBC (Already Been Chewed Over Broadcasting Company)**
Voldemort: can I please stay on the show?
Nimmy: No.
Voldemort: can I please stay on the show?
Nimmy: No.
Voldemort: can I please stay on the show?
Nimmy: No.
Voldemort: can I please stay on the show?
Nimmy: No.
*this goes on for hours*
*sam a mysterious witch walks in and whats left of the Audience after Voldie's... erm... ballet, if you could call it that... goes wild... erm... sorta wild, as wild as to be expected from an Audience that has lost 60 members already*
Nimmy: *gives Voldie a good, hard kick, and tells him to rot in the place he came from* And please welcome Sam, I trust she needs no introduction... okay well... since she might, Sam tell us about yourself *smiles and kicks Voldie again from under her chair*
sam: well i am a modern pureblood witch. i am one of the strongest in the world and voldemort tried to kill me once
Nimmy: Oh?
Nimmy: How?
sam: yes he came to my house killed my parents *wipes away a tear* and tried to kill me to but i survived kinda like harry's story only i defended myself with magic
Nimmy: This was before Harry right?
sam: yes
Harry: *kicks sam from under chair; glaring*
Nimmy: Harry! I saw that...
Harry: *innocintly* saw what?
sam: Ow! what was that for harry?
Nimmy: He must be jelious
Harry: Am not!
Nimmy: are too!
sam: then why did you kick me?
Harry: Nu-uh! I'm not jelious *grows nose like Pinnochio*
sam: uh huh
Harry: because I'm the boy who lived... you cant be "the girl who lived"
Nimmy: Harry thats jeliousy, you don't want anyone taking your spot light
sam: well what am i *the girl that died and came bak to life*?
Nimmy: yes... you must be the girl who died and came back to life, I read about you...
Harry: Nimmy! Give her the boot just like you did to voldie!
Nimmy: No!
Harry: Yes!
Nimmy: No!
Harry: Yes!
Nimmy: No!
Harry: Yes!
Nimmy: No!
Harry: Yes!
Nimmy: No!
Harry: Yes!
Nimmy: No!
Harry: Yes!
Nimmy: No!
Harry: Yes!
*10 minutes later...*
sam: o ya i am the girl who died and came bak to life
sam: how dare you say to boot me off!! *kicks harry the hardest she could*
Harry: *sits there stupidly* well that was painful, and it took you that long to realize...
sam: i hope it was painful, and I was thinking, so it wasn't my fault!!!!!!!! *smiles to nimmy*
Nimmy: *smiles back* *evil grin to harry* you know... Harry, wouldnt it be very funny if you asked hermione out?
Harry: I can't find Hermione, let alone Ron. And anyway, I don't like Hermione
Nimmy: Ah... l'amour l'amour... and then denial denial... well then... out with it harry, who do you like?
Harry: *blushes* I'd rather not... erm... say... since you know her very well...
sam: yes it would be funny to ask her out... or whoever you liii-ike *teasing voice* *stares at harry* o i wonder why you cant find them... *smiles and evil grin* But truthfully, Harry... who is it?
Harry: *looks at Nimmy*
Nimmy: The pain! The HORROR!! Actually just the horror... wait! What am I saying!?! I like you too Harry! Even though you're fictional... *covers mouth* oops...
Nimmy: look! Snape is looking quite pale *changes subject*
Snape: *groan: AHHHHHHH *softer and softer* hhhhh....gggghhh *faints*
Harry: *still quiet; comtemplating what him being "fictional" means...* *Harry thinks in that echoey voice that TV people when they think* (this will be used when anyone thinks things that I THINK should be heard) ~... Fictional... I can't be a book charecter, it must be "girlenese" for 'boring' or 'stupid' or... *gulp* 'ugly'?! No... that can't be... she said she loves me... erm... likes me... I wish she loved me... I love her... but I can't be a book charecter~
sam: uh o i wonder why that happened... *evil grin gets bigger*
Nimmy: Sam...? what did you do?
sam: its not like i made a bad potion for him to test purposly *evil grin gets as big as it can*
Nimmy: Well... what happened to Hermione and Ron?
Harry: *shrugs* Didn't you know?
Nimmy: Know what? I know all! *evil laugh*
Harry: Obviously not this...
*Voldemort comes back in, rubbing his backside*
Voldemort: That was quite a kick.
Nimmy: Thank you much.
Sam: Nimmy, that isn't really correct grammer...
Nimmy: I know
Voldemort: So what are we talking about? Oh and I saw Ron and Hermione making out backstage... And WHO is this? *looks at Sam*
Sam: *nervous* heh... heh... um... n- no one...
Voldemort: What'd'ya say we go out tonight?
Sam: *raises wand---* ADVRA KADAVRA!!!!!!!!!
Voldemort: *dies*
Audience: yay... *monotone* ((and there was much rejoicing...))((from what was left of the audience)) (((I love Monty Python...)))
Nimmy: Well that solves that problem...
Sam: *kicks dead Voldie* That was for killing Cedric, attempting to kill me, not killing Harry (not like he didn't try...), or Malfoy... *an so on and so forth*
*One hour later after Sam has finished her list*
Nimmy: You forgot a couple of people...
Harry: ... *still thinking* ~Okay... I'm going to speak up...~ Nimmy...? what do you mean by fictional?
Nimmy: *gasp* You don't know?
Harry: Know what?! You love me! Tell me!!
Nimmy: I never said I LOVED you... but now that you mention it...
Sam: You love him...? *disgusted*
Nimmy: Maaaaybe...
Harry: Well...? I need an answer...
Nimmy: To what question?
Harry: To both!
Nimmy: Both of what?
Harry: The questions!
Nimmy: WHAT QUESTIONS?!
Announcer: And now... a comercial break...
**Britney Spears' Album Comercial**
*Blonde girl that strangely resembles Britney herself with a wig on comes out*
*Girl is dressed in a denim mini skirt that is very short--- too short, and a cammie, with black boots that go up past the knees*
Girl: Like OH MY GAWD!!! Like this album is like tote'lly cool! And it made me cool too! I went from this:
*Picture of girl with glasses on, her face is oily*
Girl: To like this!:
*picture of self*
*Another girl walks on, it looks like Britney with a brown wig on, same attire as the other girl*
Girl 2: And I lost 25 lbs. with her new album!
*another girl comes out, her hair is blonde, same attire as last two girls*
Girl 3: And this taught me how to red... I mean read!
Girls 1 and 2 together: Thank you, Britney!!!
Girl 3: What's this say again?
*Britney comes on*
Britney: That's right girls! If you need a new look or help, buy my album. You know, it can be hard to live up to the expoctz--- Damn... umm... Darn... Martin... Whats the word? *yells past camera*
Muffled Voice: Expectations!
Britney: Thanks! It can be hard to live up to the expectations of others... Believe me, I know. That's why I hired other people to write my music for me--- *claps hand over mouth* I mean... Thats why I, MYSELF, wrote the song, 'I'm not a Girl, Not yet a Woman.' Then what am I, you ask? A man, baby... *claps hand over mouth* erm... actually I mean...What am I to say that to say my album will work for you? A person. And I need YOU to try it. And I know it will work for you! So call this toll number now. The number is at the bottom of your screen. Martin! *whine* I don't see it! Why isn't it popping up!? Should I just read the number? *waits* Okay! 1-868-232-599 ((not a real number, I just made it up... lol)) call in the next ten minutes and you will recieve this doll of me! Thats right! Me! And it.... er she... sings my repetitive songs, that corrupt today's youth, such as "Oops I did it again" as her skirt comes off. And it sings "Hit me Baby One More Time" frequently. And it also cries as you hit her, and interacts with the doll of Justin Timberlake... Watch this!
*Britney Spears in pigtails, and a pink flowered dress comes out with a Britney Spears Doll*
*Christina Aguilera comes out in pigtails, wearing a lavender floral patterned dress, with a hole cut in the center to show her belly button; she has Interactive an Justin Timberlake Doll at her side*
*Both sit down frowning at eachother*
Britney: I can't believe I have to work with YOU!!
Christina: Well I was in Lady Marmelade! And you weren't and everyone hates you!
Britney: Bit---
*see a guy come out and whisper something to both of them*
*Both shoot dirty looks at eachother and go on*
Christina: *talks in a forced man's voice* Hi, Britney! Would you like to go out on a date?
Britney: *own voice* Yes, Justin! I'd love to!
Christina: Would you like to go steady? ~Now I'll break her dolls heart *thinks evil laugh* and then I'll break her plastic nose, Britney's that is...~ ~More plastic than a Barbie doll, or a Britney Spears doll~ *snickers*
Britney: I'd love to! ~Man I'd like to bitch slap her...~
Christina: *makes Justin doll come over to Britney doll* *makes Justin Doll give Britney Doll a kiss*
*Dolls have magnetized lips and a timer on when to release the magnets...*
Christina: *own voice* They're stuck! My doll is stuck to your doll!
Britney: AWWW! Look they love eachother!!!!
Christina: ew...
*They finally manage to pull dolls away*
Christina: *forced voice* Britney, you are a terrible kisser! I am breaking up with you! And you sing bad!
*upon hearing these words, the Britney Doll's eyes tear and the cold water from the tears causes the once happy face, into a sad face*
Britney: BEE-OTCH!! *Jumps on Christina*
*Cat fight*
Anouncer: You've heard the word! Buy Britney's Album!
**And you shall wait until the next chapter to hear more... the answer next time on... "Nimmy Speaks- So Silence Mortal!!!" only on ABCOBC (Already Been Chewed Over Broadcasting Company)**