Disclaimer: I don't own "Yu-Gi-Oh!", but I'm beginning to wonder what I'd give to own it. It does make me smile quite a lot.
*****
A Life Less Ordinary
*****
No one knows what it's like to be me.
I'm running down a side street, my heart feeling as though it's about to burst in my chest, and I already know, two minutes into the chaos, that I'm not going to be any help.
Again.
No one knows what it's like to be me. No one knows what it's like to be ordinary, to be completely useless in any given situation.
It seems like so long ago that we were in the Duelist Kingdom—the place where everyone's true colors shone painfully through.
Yugi learned he had a spirit living in his Millenium Puzzle.
Bakura learned he had a psychotic megalomaniac living in his Millenium Ring.
Joey learned that he wasn't such a sucky Duelist after all.
Tristan learned that his friendship with Joey could stand through anything.
Mai learned that winning isn't everything.
Pegasus learned that no plan is foolproof.
Kaiba learned that nothing was more important to him than his kid brother.
And as for me...I learned my incredible worthlessness.
No one knows what it's like—to be that face in the crowd, that forgettable girl. No one knows what it's like to be surrounded on all sides by people that are special and to be ordinary. It's painful, to stand and squint in the presence of all that light.
Someone else wants the light, too—that's why he stole Yugi's Millenium Puzzle and ran off with it; it's why I'm searching now.
Yugi—that idiot! He was as brave as a little lion, jumping over that table to give chase. If he hadn't been so busy kicking himself for being naive enough to hand over the Puzzle in the first place, he might have caught the guy right away.
I wait for the sign to change to "Walk" and sprint across the street, realizing guiltily that part of me, at least, was glad to see that Puzzle go. I won't lie. I've thought about it before, fantasized about that Puzzle disappearing so that its spell over Yugi would be broken. He cares about that oversized choke chain more than he cares about his own life sometimes.
Doesn't Yugi understand? It's not about the Puzzle at all. He doesn't really need it. It's not the Puzzle that's attracting all this attention to him.
It's the light, I think dizzily as I run. It's the light that shines in you.
I'm out of breath, and there's no sign of the thief, or Yugi. And still I keep running, desperate, hoping someh—
"Oof!"
I run into something warm and solid, something that chuckles, "Right you are!" and steadies me.
"Bakura!" I say, and can't stop the relief that floods my veins. Bakura is Special; he has a Millenium Ring. He'll know what to do.
"Oh, my!" Bakura says in his soft voice when I blurt out what's happened. "Tell you what, Tea. You go get Joey and Tristan, and I'll go get some help!"
Joey and Tristan! It's so obvious that I almost smack my forehead. Why didn't I think of it before? Because I'm not clever enough—not special enough to think on my feet. "Right. Thanks, Bakura!"
And I'm running again, headed to the school, covering ground like a scared wolf. The same words echo in my head—Joey and Tristan, right. They'll know what to do.
I realize dimly that no matter who I call on for help, no matter how fast I run, I'm not going to be in time. I'm already too late—too slow, too stupid, too ordinary.
The school doors come into view, and suddenly I'm praying, flinging a desperate plea to heaven. Somebody up there had better help Yugi, because once again, I am unable to.
*****
Joey's hopping around on one foot, trying to get his other shoe on. If I weren't panicking, it might be comical.
Tristan's still focused, though, and he says something that warms my heart—"Show us the way, Tea."
The opportunity to be useful gives my feet wings, and soon enough we're back at the mouth of the alley where Yugi's puzzle was stolen, the dark opening yawning at us like the jaws of hell.
"It's right here, it's—" And then I see something that makes my mouth drop open.
The walls of the alley are covered with signs, arrows pointing in every possible direction--left, right, up, down, diagonally and sideways, all screaming vermilion red, all laughing at me. The story of my life.
"Oh, man," Tristan says. "How will we know which way to go?"
Tell me about it. It's like we took a wrong turn and ended up inside my heart.
*****
One of the remarkable things about life is this: it's never so awful that it can't get worse.
"Smoke!" Joey points out a black cloud pouring from an old warehouse. The smoke is impossibly dark, spiraling into the perfect blue sky like a harbinger of doom.
"We're going in," Tristan tells me. "You go call 911."
"I'm on it," I say. He's right—we'd better get me as far from the scene as possible. I'd only get in the way, after all.
I closet myself in the nearest phone booth, mistrustful of the glass door to keep me safe. Why is it that when Clark Kent goes into a phone booth, he emerges just in time to save the day? All I can do is twist the metal cord nervously in my hands. The chill of it, the roughness against my skin, is the first thing I've felt since Yugi handed the Millenium Puzzle over to that hooded creep.
"911 dispatch. What is the nature of your emergency?"
Yes, my world is falling apart, could you send a car?
*****
Why did I come back to the warehouse? I can't do anything to help the firefighters. Why didn't I just stay back at the phone booth?
I don't know why. All I can do is watch them train their hoses on the flames, slay the fire beneath the liquid onslaught. I'm so scared.
One of the firefighters notices me, and takes the time to give me a bit of a smile. "Everything's going to be all right, kid."
My eyes fill up with tears, and I realize why I'm there, why I'm watching, why I came back. I hear myself telling the truth, the only thing I know for sure.
"Please hurry. My friends are in there."
Joey appears at the warehouse door, shaking embers from his blond hair and sprinting towards me. He's followed by Tristan, and my heart leaps when I see what he's carrying. It's Yugi, unconscious and singed. He's never looked smaller.
I make a small inarticulate noise and reach for him, and Tristan lets me, holding Yugi close to me so I can touch his hair, his soot-smudged cheek, so I can feel that he's alive. His lashes are dark crescents against his face, his eyes closed tightly, like a kitten's. The only reason I don't faint is that I don't think it would be fair for Joey to have to carry me while Tristan carries Yugi. After all, I'm so much taller than Yugi.
*****
Do heroes wear pajamas with little stars on them?
"If you guys don't stop fighting, I won't share my hospital food with you," Yugi threatens, and Tristan and Joey immediately straighten up and promise to behave. Instead of laughter bubbling from my throat, however, tears prick at my eyes, and I have to get up and head for the door.
"Tea, are you all right?" Yugi asks, the concern rippling through his eyes.
Of course I'm not all right. Forcing a smile, I try to remember the last time I was all right—really, really all right.
"I'm fine, Yugi. I'm just tired."
I am tired. I'm tired of not being able to do anything. I'm tired of being ordinary, of being useless. But most of all I'm tired of worrying. I'm tired of worrying myself sick about Yugi and not being able to help him. Yugi's life is getting more and more dangerous, and I almost lost him today.
That thought scares me more than anything else that's happened. Yugi looks so small in that hospital bed, in those ridiculous cuddly pajamas, and I almost lost him today. He nearly died.
In the hallway, I slide down the wall to curl up and hide, huddling against it, my arms wrapped around my knees. My face is well shielded when the crying starts, big hiccupping sobs that I can't hold back.
I don't understand why I'm crying. Everything's fine, isn't it? Yugi's fine; the doctors are saying he's going to be all right. Joey and Tristan needed a few bandages, but they'll be as good as new. Right?
I'm crying because it won't be the last time. Somehow, in my bones, I know it'll happen again. I can't think positively anymore. I know this won't be the last time I'm curled in a fetal position, crying over Yugi. This will happen again, and I'm going to be just as powerless and invisible during the next crisis as I was today.
Someone reclines next to me, back to the wall. I don't need to look; I know who it is.
"Aren't you going to tease me, Joey?" I murmur through the fence of my arms. "Call me a crybaby or something?"
"I wouldn't do that," he says.
"Yes, you would," I say darkly, still not lifting my head, but deep down I know that he wouldn't tease me at a time like this.
"You c'n cry if you want to," he tells me. "I'm scared, too."
"Sometimes I wish he'd never solved that puzzle," I whisper, lifting my head the tiniest bit.
Joey's eyes meet mine, as if they're searching for something. I don't think I've ever seen him look more serious. Very softly, and only for my ears, he tells me, "I know."
I feel a little foolish hearing that coming from Joey, of all people. I never thought anyone could see what I was going through—simply because no one was watching me. Apparently I was wrong, and my problem is obvious—obvious to everyone but Yugi.
Joey sighs, uncurling his long legs and stretching them out across the floor. "Come on, you wanna go back in? He's been asking for you."
"I can't imagine why," I mutter. "It's not like I helped at all."
Joey stands up, reaching a hand to me. "Does that really matter, Tea? Doesn't matter what you do or what you don't do. What matters is that he's asking for you. He wants you."
I blink wet eyes at him, slowly getting to my feet. Joey knows me too well. He knows that if Yugi called my name, I'd crawl out of my own grave to be at his side.
Yugi's drowsy when I get back into the room, but he smiles at me. I take my place in the chair at the side of his bed with a sense of homecoming. His big violet eyes flicker and close while Tristan offers me a ravaged tray. "Hey, Tea, there's a bowl of lime Jell-O with your name on it."
"Did you guys leave any food for Yugi?" I ask incredulously, taking the proffered Jell-O and digging in it with the plastic spoon, the kind that snaps if you try to eat anything thicker than applesauce with it.
"I'm not hungry," Yugi murmurs, his eyes closed. There couldn't be more than ninety-eight pounds inside those pajamas.
"Tea, you want to walk home with us?" Tristan asks, but Joey interrupts, giving me an eyebrow raise. "Nah, I bet Tea wants to stay a bit, dont'cha, Tea?"
That Joey Wheeler. I could kiss him if he weren't usually such a pain in the ass. "You know, Joey's right. I think I'll stay just a little longer. Go on without me." I stab halfheartedly at the Jell-O a few more times, then put it aside.
"You got it. See you tomorrow." Joey, being Joey, can't help winking at me as they leave, and I frown at him.
I turn back to Yugi, who's fallen asleep. His chest is rising and falling almost imperceptibly with his breathing, and I don't trust that weak respiration to keep him alive. A bandage stretches just below one eye, so harshly white that his skin looks almost pink by contrast. I find myself wanting to kiss that tiny wound, wanting to make all the little hurts go away.
I look at his Millenium Puzzle, so big and heavy, threatening to crush that fragile chest. The Puzzle doesn't look so hard to comprehend, I reason. It's Yugi himself that's a riddle with no answer.
"What's the matter?" a soft chuckle interrupts me. "Don't like the Jell-O?"
"Yugi," I breathe quietly, not wanting to yell in surprise. "I thought you were asleep."
"No, just resting. Thanks for staying, though." He opens his eyes, regarding me evenly with an amethyst gaze.
"No problem," I say, trying to sound cheerful instead of exhausted. "What are friends for?" What, indeed.
"Thank you, Tea. Thanks for everything," Yugi says, trying to find a correct station of karma in the bed, his eyelids drooping again. I can tell he's fighting to keep them open, to stay awake. To stay with me. "I was pretty stupid today, wasn't I?" he chuckles drowsily.
"Not stupid," I say, blushing. "Maybe a little—reckless, but also very brave." And that's the truth.
"Tea?" he asks, on the edge of sleep. "Do you think you can stay with me till I fall asleep? I don't want to be alone." He blinks at me, and no one could say no to that face. No one would want to.
I smile at him. As if he even needs to ask. "Sure thing, Yugi." I'm rewarded with a grin I've loved since the first time I saw it.
"You were amazing today, Yugi," I say, settling down in the chair. If he can be brave, I can too. I will not abandon my post. "You're pretty special, you know." I can't help smiling when I say it, despite myself.
"Do you really think so?" he yawns, giving up the battle and letting his eyes slide completely shut again.
Think so? I know so—I see it all too clear. He's got his Millenium Puzzle back. He's lying in a hospital bed, weak and tiny, in those absolutely laughable pajamas, and he still looks Special. He's still the most amazing thing I've ever seen. And I'm still beside him, still ordinary, with nothing to offer him!
"Tea," Yugi murmurs, somewhere in between sleep and waking.
Or do I have something after all?
"I'm right here, Yugi," I say, taking his hand in my own, holding it tight. "I'm here."
*****
Author's Note:
This story is dedicated to my friends, who are my urban family, my safety net, my everything. They are the people who say when asked about me, "Oh—she's a little odd, but what would we do without her?" And for that, I will be unswervingly loyal and forever grateful, because among them, I am special, and no matter what, I will always have a place—just like Tea.
This is my first "Yu-Gi-Oh!" fic (it wasn't supposed to be, but there was a bit of a shuffle in the schedule) and reviews as always are greatly appreciated. *^_^* Thanks.