Eventually
Disclaimer: No, I don't own Harry Potter, or the characters (no, not even Draco damnit!) JK Rowling and Warner Brothers do. I just play with the characters, and make sure I put them back afterwards. The song is not mine, it is owned by Pink. All hail her!
A/N: Just a short fic from Harry's POV, that came to me while I was randomly on a bus somewhere. Well, it's the first fic I've ever dared to put on the net, so please be kind, and please please review! Thanks. Oh, and *** indicates a flashback. It's a deathfic, and hp/dm. Consider yourself fore-warned.
Beta: Thanks to Willow, for all her support. You've been great.
Eventually
Harry stepped quietly into his bedroom. Thank God he was 17, with his own room, an escape from everything life just 'decided' to throw at him all too often. Slumping on the end of his bed, head in his hands, he began to re-live the last few months of his life in almost slow motion. He picked up his wand and performed a relatively simple locking spell. This was one of the times he wanted to be completely by himself, him and the thoughts he could not shake off no matter how hard he tried.
//I'm an opportunity
And I knock so softly
Sometimes I get loud
When I wish everybody'd just get off me.//
'Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived.' He began to write. 'Is it always about fame? Oh look, I killed Voldemort, aren't I great?! Well, he didn't die, and at the moment it's me who feels like I'm dying, screaming at the top of my lungs. Everyone hears but no-one listens. Why must everyone think I'm invincible? I can take down the Dark Lord no problem, thankyou very much. But put you, Draco Malfoy in front of me and I'm powerless. My 'arch enemy'. Funny how things manage to turn themselves round. And even as I sit here, I can see your face, but you're smirking. Never smiling, in my mind. That will always be something I have to /see/ to believe. But I doubt I will see you smile again. Smiling for me, /because/ of me.'
//So many players
You'd think I was a board game
It's every man for themselves
There are no teammates.//
'Ever heard the phrase, "Loneliness breeds in large groups of people?" Well it's all too true. I've been surrounded by people ever since I was 11 years old, but never felt like I truly belonged. Until you. But with you it was all about possession, ownership. I can remember how we used to kiss, and it was always about power. You were always out to get whatever you could, and God help anyone who stood in your way. Once a Malfoy, always a Malfoy.
No, I've got to stop saying this. You were honest, kind, passionate, all the things Malfoy's aren't meant to be. But I don't want to remember that. It would be so much easier if you had treated me badly, never taken my feelings into account, but you didn't. You taught me all the things I thought no-one, let alone a /Slytherin/ ever would. Trust, love. Even honesty! Because you were different. You were /you/.'
//This life gets lonely
When everybody wants something
They'll smile up in your face
But they'll get theirs eventually
And I hope I'm there.//
'Can't you see how this is tearing me up inside? I don't even know what I want any more, but it's not this. I don't want to sit here and picture how things were before. But I don't want to live my life making out I never loved you. If I had the decision, I'd rather die than go back to the way things were. I know it wasn't easy for you, but just thinking back makes my stomach turn over, when I realise the part of me that's gone, the part that /you/ took away.
***
"Potter." Draco whispered, walking up behind him and placing gentle kisses on the conjuncture between Harry's neck and shoulder. Harry spun round only to be pulled into a fiery kiss, filled with the urgency that they both felt.
Breaking apart for air, they locked gazes, Harry taking in the sight of his lover's slightly flushed face. Draco sighed slightly, then looked at the floor, unable to hold his gaze.
"Draco?" He asked worriedly, tilting the blond's head up and running his thumb along his jawbone, giving Draco no choice but to look at him. It was all he could do to allow himself not to get lost in those emerald eyes, trying to deter the telltale tears that he knew would appear any moment.
"Draco what is it?"
"Just, don't Harry, please. I can't do this any more. This, us, there's too much at risk."
"No." The raven-haired boy whispered, not daring to let himself believe it.
"Harry I'm so sorry." Draco's voice caught in his throat as he spoke. "I didn't want this. But my father is only too close to finding out about us. For your safety as much as mine, we /have/ to end this."
"Drac, no. Please." Tears were running all too freely down his cheeks, and he was making no attempt to hide them.
"Harry, I love you. Always. Do not forget that, please." 'Malfoys never cry' he tried to convince himself, to no affect.
"Dra…"
He put one pale finger on the other boy's lips, and whispered, "Goodbye, Harry Potter," before turning back down the deserted corridor, and letting the tears fall.
***
//Surrounded by familiar faces with no name
None of them know me
Or want to share my pain
They only wish to bask in my light
Then fade away.//
'Just walking down a corridor, I get a "Hi Harry!" at every turn. 7th years, 8th years, they don't know /me/. They know /of/ me, but there's such a difference. I knew you Draco. I thought I did at least. After years of being enemies, I could really tell what you were thinking, after only 2 months, and 16 days. Surely that's one of the first signs of madness. I know the number of days we were together. "Pull yourself together Harry," I keep telling myself. This wasn't love. No, it /wasn't/ love. I can't even convince myself. But your spontaneity never ceased to take my breath away, until that day. How could you do it Draco? I would have given up anything, /everything/ for you, and this is how you repay me?'
//To win my love, to them a game
To watch me live my life in vain
When all is done and the glitter fades, fades away
They'll get theirs eventually
And I hope I'm there.//
If I counted on my fingers and toes I still couldn't even come close to the number of girlfriends I've had. Started to lose count a while back. I swear they spent hours in the girls' bathrooms saying things like "So, who's gonna go out with The Boy Who Lived next?" Soon I started to suspect every girl who asked me to go out with her, asking myself all the time who had put her up to it. But you were different. You weren't going to brag to your friends! I can really imagine Crabbe and Goyle's faces if you told them, "By the way, I've got a boyfriend. Name's Harry Potter." I can still remember that day in the Potions classroom, before I even /knew/ you at all.
***
"Not you again, Potter." Draco spat.
"Yes, Malfoy. You're privileged enough to have yet another detention with yours truly."
"Why this time? Actually, wait. It was because you just /happened/ to tip a potful of lacewings in my lap, and I just /happened/ to punch you, was it not?"
"Yeah, I guess." Harry replied, blushing slightly. "Snape was having rather an off day. I mean, you're meant to be 'teacher's pet' the 'little angel of potions'". He said, laughing slightly.
"Well, I am just a little angel!" Draco said in a 'sweeter than sweet' voice. "I mean, just look at me, I'm gorgeous!"
Harry chose that point to shift his eyes from their previous focus on the door, to Draco's face. He had his hands under his chin, framing his pale face, grinning maniacally.
"What has got into you?" The other boy asked, trying to look unimpressed. 'No, Draco…Malfoy…did not even look slightly…just then…. Harry!' He mentally slapped himself. 'C'mon, I mean, eww!'
After about an hour of cleaning the potions floor, sorting out the cupboards, and being Snape's general servants, he came to tell them their detention was over.
"You are both free to go. Malfoy, I trust you to lock the storeroom door for me." He drawled. "Oh and Potter…"
"Yes Professor?"
"Nice black eye." He threw the keys at Draco, who walked up to the storeroom, as Harry followed him with the remaining few bottles."
"OW!"
"Bloody hell Potter, what now?!"
"Smashed…test-tube…in…hand…ouch."
"Tsch. Wimp." He chose to meet Harry's eyes as he said this.
"No, you're the…" He trailed off as Draco leaned over and kissed him deeply, but quickly.
"Potter. Shut up." He said grinning as he began to walk off. "And shut the door behind you."
***
//I drank your poison
'Cause you told me it's wine
Shame on you if you fooled me once
Shame on me if you fooled me twice
I didn't know the price
You'll get yours eventually.//
'I believed you. I believed you when you said you didn't care what anyone thought. I believed you when you said you would never go to the Dark Lord. A week Draco. You went to Him a /week/ after we broke up. How could you? I trusted you with everything I was. I'd have done anything for you. The feeling wasn't mutual, I see that now. Harry Potter, The Boy Who Couldn't Tell The Truth From Lies. Because that's what you did. You lied when you said your father couldn't sway your beliefs. And you lied when you said you would put your life at risk because of me. Well now I'm taking my life. For you.'
//So what good am I to you
If I can't be broken
You'll get yours, yes
You'll get yours eventually.//
'The Suicide Curse. You've heard of it, I'm sure. If not, look at page 268 of "Dark Magic for Experienced Wizards". I know you keep a copy under your bed. Well, thanks for the help with this. You'll kick yourself when you realise I found this spell from /your/ book. Hopefully it will ease the pain for both of us. I don't even know if you cared, but if you did, don't cry for me. I'm a coward. But just know Draco, I'm doing this because I love you.
Forever yours,
Harry Potter'
He took out an envelope, and put the folded parchment inside. Carefully picking up his wand, hands shaking slightly, he pointed it so the tip was just touching his scar. "And just think, all the times Draco's said, I'll kill you, Harry Potter." He whispered to himself. "Well," he took the letter in his other hand. "You got your wish."
"Finis spiritus! [end breath]" He said clearly. A flash of red light, and the boy who was a hero to the wizarding world lay on his bedroom floor, all breath gone from his body. The last thought in his mind? 'I wonder if Draco will cry for me?'
A/N: So, you like? Yes, no?! Review please people! And I am contemplating a sequel, obviously from Draco's POV, which will probably be going ahead anyway. But feedback would still be brill, and would do wonders for my *slightly* lacking confidence! Thanks!