Chapter 2

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Warning: Ratings may go up!

A/N: Even I'm not sure what's going to happen in this chapter 'cuz things are popping up in my mind every single time and every one of them are different….oh well, here it goes…

9 years later…when Ryou is now 15 year old…

Ryou stepped out of his father's car as he gazed around the new house he was moving into. He looked at the front lawn with rows of rose bushes and flower beds arranged neatly according to color and size. His parents had divorced long ago, leaving him in the middle of the two of them. He was stuck between the two of them, not able to make his decision of whom to go to, until they decided to switch back and forth for some time to take care of him. When he was young, Ryou thought his family would be together forever, a bond that could not be broken. But after all this, he didn't know what to believe in. He used to live with his mom, until one day, when she developed cancer and passed away. The memories still haunted Ryou's dreams, but he could not help what already happened. Now he lived with his dad, traveling all over the country to places he never even heard about. Due to his father's job, they were moving very often. This was his 7th time moving this year, so he never got to stay at one place for so long and make new friends. He sighed as he looked over at his dad, who was moving boxes into the house.

Throughout all 9 years, almost everything had changed for Ryou, mostly for the worse. He became so distant from his father and everyone close to him. He never trusted in anyone, in case they might leave him too, just like his mother did after she told him numerous times, "I love you" and "I'll never leave my little baby, I'll love you forever." Love? What was it supposed to be? For Ryou, it meant nothing to him now. Love was just another feeling; a useless feeling. How could someone say 'I love you' and just leave him all alone? Love was something blind, he had blocked every sort of feeling away from him. All he knew now was tears and loneliness. Was he just a mistake in this world? Maybe he was, he thought. He hoped that someday, someone would take the blindfold off of him and show him the way to feel.

Nothing had been the same since his mother died. She was laying on her deathbed, so helpless and so sick. Cancer had taken over her weak body quickly, just as sadness took over Ryou. He couldn't even go in the hospital room and kiss her goodbye when she died. He was afraid to look at her; she looked so different. She became so pale and she was drugged up so she couldn't even talk to him. He just watched her as she suffered from the disease, not being able to do anything to help his own mother. He wanted to reach out to her, and tell her she was going to be all right, but he was too scared. He regretted not saying anything to her before she died. Couldn't even say 'thank you', or 'I love you' anymore just because of his fear. He didn't want her to die… he always wondered if death was painful, but the way he saw his mother die, he guessed it was. His mother always told him to hold on, but hold on to what? When was he supposed to let go and hold on to something?

Ryou also began to lose hope between his father and himself. They weren't as close as they were before his parents got divorced. His father was there for Ryou when his mother left him, but it wasn't the same as it was before. The inseparable bond was just cracked in half. That special spark that he felt between himself and his father lost its spark and just disappeared. Now there was a dark fog between his father and him, and every time Ryou tried to reach out his hand and touch his father, it seemed like his father was going farther apart from him. It seemed as if they were always sitting side by side, but a million miles apart. They never did anything together anymore, no more father and son things, just talking once in a long while. All his father cared about now was his career. Ryou never got to decide if he wanted to move or not, just followed his father wherever they were going. Ryou always thought the bond between them was special, but there was nothing special about them anymore. Ryou was just another person in his father's life. Ryou wished that some time one day, he would forget all his childish memories and just get on with his life, but nothing has happened yet. He had become to not care too much about anything anymore, just to become another human being in the world.

Ryou snapped out of his thought when his father tapped him on his shoulder.

"Ryou? Are you feeling all right? You look a little pale," he asked.

Ryou tried to put a faint smile on his face as he replied, "I'm all right, Dad. Let's get all the stuff into the house now."

"You won't need to do that. The moving company people are going to be bringing in all the boxes and furniture. You can go and see your new room."

With a nod, Ryou went into the house. His father liked to live life to the fullest. Walking down the long hall and up the staircase, he went into the third room on the floor. It was a large room, with a bathroom at the right side of the room. Ryou's belongings had already been placed there, his bed in the middle of the room, and his computer and his desk at the far left corner.

'What's the point of moving into such a big house when we're going to be moving again soon?' he thought to himself.

Ryou's room was at the rear end of the house, and behind it was a huge garden. Ryou opened a window and looked out the screen, out to the garden. Outside was a goldfish pond, dried up because of the heat during the season, now filled with weeds and branches that fell from the trees above it. There was a nice white bench and a swing set. The flower beds had rocks bordering them, but from the lack of care and trimming, the flowers had outgrown over the rocks and out to the rest of the garden. The sweet fragrance of the flowers filled the air. If he just fixed it up a little, it would be a beautiful garden, like it was meant to be.

'Mom would have loved a garden like that…' Ryou thought. His eyes were filled with tears as he the memories of his mom filled his mind. For some reason, it seemed like her death was all his fault. She was fired from her job and she spent all day looking for a new job. She just couldn't support both him and herself, and the stress led to cancer. She had been so happy before, always joking and laughing, and always encouraging. Nothing let her down, except the deadly disease. Ryou thought of her as his best friend; someone he would be with forever, but now without his best friend, he didn't know what to do. Life seemed to be so great for Ryou, until it turned down the wrong road and onto misfortunes. Now he didn't know the meaning of living a life. He had left all his friends, and was always picked on and segregated from the other kids.

Ryou wiped another tear from his eyes, as his father came in. He kept his back to him, because he didn't want his father to see him crying. He already shed too many tears. His father did everything that he could do for Ryou, so that he wouldn't be so upset. He even tried to get away from the town and everything that reminded Ryou of his mother, but nothing seemed to help. He couldn't say anything to his son because he knew it was mostly his fault for not being there for his family.

Ryou shook his head and wiped his tears to try and keep the memories of his mother out of his mind.

Ryou's father came over and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Ryou, are you all right?" he asked, worried.

Ryou tried to keep the tears inside, but he couldn't help but break down.

"Ryou…it's OK. I know how bad you feel about all this, but no one could help about what happened to your mom."

"No…it was all my fault. She died because of me! Everything is all my fault… she didn't have to die…I miss her so much…" Ryou said between sobs.

Trying his best to comfort his own son, Ryou's father said, "Ryou, nothing's your fault. It wasn't anybody's fault. Nobody could help what happens to us or anybody…I know you miss her, but you can't do anything about it…"

"How can you be sure? You weren't even there…if you hadn't divorced her maybe she had a chance…"

"Ryou…" Ryou's father started to speak but was interrupted by Ryou.

"Now what do you expect me to do? Why did you even bring me here, out of no where? You expect me to accept you in after all the times you were gone from my life? Do you expect me to change my life so easily? You took everything that was important to me…and you didn't do anything to help mom…you just had to be so ignorant about your family and only care about your career…is your career that important to you, dad? Then maybe you should have left me there…I wanted to be with mom, not you! You just expect me to leave everything behind and start a new life? How can I start one when you don't even give me a chance?" Ryou cried, as he collapsed down on the floor.

Not knowing what to say, Ryou's father tried again to comfort his son. "Ryou, I'm so sorry. I didn't know what was going to happen…"

"Didn't know what was going to happen? How can you not know what was going to happen when you created what was going to happen? You think everything you do is for the better for yourself…just go away. Leave me alone…" Ryou said, as his father left the room, closing the door behind him.

Now alone in his room, Ryou went into the bathroom, to wipe his tears and wash his face. When he finished, he came back into his room, and turned on a radio. As he lay on his bed, the voice from the radio wrapped around him. The voice…just like the golden voice that used to wrap around him as his mother sang to him. The soothing voice that relieved him from all his worries and relax. He had loved his mother's voice, musical and beautiful. He picked up a picture frame with his mother's picture inside. He brushed his fingers on her face, as he said, "I miss you mom…I'm so sorry…" Soon he fell asleep, with his mother close to his heart.

A/N: So what did you guys think? Pretty short chapter, eh? Please R&R!!!