The snake who lived Book 1: Philosopher's stone Chapter 12: The nervous SQuirrell, a harry potter fanfic

Do you think many people carry Dragon eggs in their pockets […]?

Harry Potter, Harry Potter à l'école des sorciers, page 260

ANSWERS TO THE REVIEWERS NORWEGIAN RIDGEBACK

Shireen McLean (Who scored herself among my favorite reviewers ^_-): Probably ff.net. Thankies! *Gets goosebumps* Erm… stuck with you, eh? *Grins* Thanks, I was afraid I was going to have Draco OOC. Maybe just a *little*. Funny, I only have 1 friend in Gryff, my cousin (And official Beta, although V's about to take the title) is a Slyth and her little brother's a Ravenclaw. Hopelessly Ravenclaw, too. *sigh*. Thanks again for reviewing!

Corundum Advance (You have no idea how surprised I was when your name didn't signal an error): Congrats, you win the record for the longest review ever made; although you cheated ^_-. Oh well, cheating is allowed, at least unless you get caught before you manage to finish what you cheated for. *Blink* The anti-cliffie-spray? Eeks, I'd better take cover!! ^_- Thanks, but I'd reserve the honor of "maker of great lines" to the writer of "Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing… rat?!", whom I forgot the name. You wanna see Slyth!Harry?! Read below!! See how he handles everything ^_-. Yes, I AM a bit afraid of finding what she wrote, but I think it'll be a good puff of fresh air for us FF writers… new material to play with ^_-. *Snicker* Very true, "I told you so." The funniest and most immature thing to say. ^_-. Congrats, you also won the record for the longest answer. Brownies for you ^_^.

Muggle: Hehe, thanks. I could have said that, too. Or I could have said "Froze faster than any Microsoft-based product" *Becomes certain high-ranking officials will read the fic and, hopefully, review*

Angelhitomi: Thanks for the info, I knew they had set a release date (Sheesh, the price's about 40 bucks here), but I didn't know when. Thanks for saving me time! (And for the record, I already started to write book 2 ^_-)

King Jasbon: *Smile* Thanks! Unforunately, that can't be done… yet. ^_-

SilverTenshi: Wait no more! Here you go!

Lady Phoenix Gryffindor: *Blink* chapter 5? Oh well. Thanks, although with a name like yours, I'm surprised ^_-

Chapter 12: The nervous S.Quirrell

Fluffy was not having a nice day. First, some tasty-looking snack-on-legs dressed in a black cloak walked right in his private room which that nice big man gave to him as started playing with a harp. The next thing he knew, he was waking up because the door was opened again, this time with four smaller snacks. It was even better; the three heads would be satisfied and they would have the share the last one.

Only one of them, who had black fur that looked like a hurricane had gone through it, started playing with that flute, putting him back to sleep. He knew he hadn't slept a long time when he woke up, since he didn't feel groggy at all. Three of the snacks were still there, and the trap door was open.

"Oh well, three snacks, three mouths" he thought as he was about to attack.

However, one of the shapes, who had dark-red fur and brown eyes, had brought the flute to her lips and took a deep breath. He had expected to be brought back to sleep.

…how wrong he had been.

The very worst cacophony he had ever heard had shattered his six eardrums at that moment. Rusty nails scratching at blackboards, a mountain of shattering glasses, that red-head prefect of Gryffindor's singing voice, nothing he had ever found disgusting or painful ever came close to it. Fearfully, tail between his legs, he had run as far as he could from that banshee's scream, for once wishing he had more than two front paws to block out the noise for his two other heads.

By the time his ears had stopped ringing… pardon me, gonging, it was already too late and his snacks were gone. Screams came from below the still open trap door, followed by a pillar of smoke that hurt his nostrils as well. With an annoyed growl, the dog smashed the trap door closed again, settled down and went to sleep again, hoping that the next intruder would AT LEAST be able to play decently.

The snacks in question, who bore the names of Harry, Ron, Hermione and Blaise were walking in a dirt tunnel heading deeper into the earth. The two boys and the dark-red haired girl all had burn marks on their clothes and the boy-who-almost-turned-into-a-fried-chicken even had soot on his face.

"A simple Lumos Solem could have done the trick, Hermione." Blaise scolded. "No need to overkill it with Incendio and almost take us with it."

"Look, I said I was sorry already!" The other girl snapped, flushed in embarrassment. "And it's your fault for giving me that book on hexes and curses."

"Quiet!" Ron said. "I think I hear something."

The group fell silent and listened. Sure enough, there was something ahead, a random and disorganized rustling accompanied by occasional metallic ticks.

"Sounds like the great hall during dinner time." Blaise noted. "Without the voices."

"Sounds more like wings to me." Harry quipped.

Soon enough, the next room came to their eyes. It was a very tall, bright and quite large room with no features except a wooden door on the other side with a pair of gargoyles surrounding it and lots of birds flying overhead, creating the noise.

"Do you think they'll attack us if we try go get through?" asked Ron.

"What do you think, they'll invite us for tea?" Blaise replied sarcastically. "'course they will."

The four students stayed safely in the doorway, staring at the birds and the door on the other side. After defeating a monster like Fluffy, it just seemed silly that something as simple as a flock of birds could stop them.

"So," Harry began after a good minute of silence. "who goes first?"

There was a moment of silence in which everyone stared at the same person for different reasons, each of them valid. Either self-preservation, which is a very good reason, preservation of the only one with 'experience' fighting their current enemy or simply for cause of chivalry.

"W…Why me?!" Ron asked, feeling utterly despaired. Even Hermione had picked him.

"We need Harry to fight You-know-who later," Blaise said evenly "and you can't send a girl out there."

"Why not?" Ron asked, crossing his arms stubbornly.

"I thought you Gryffindors were the chivalrous ones." Harry said with a sly grin.

"Sure we are!" Ron said, swelling his chest in what he hoped was an imposing way.

"And the brave ones?"

"Certainly!" This time, the boy lifted a fist, pumping his muscles.

"And brave people aren't afraid of danger, right?" Harry said.

"Sure, why should we be?!" The boy boasted.

With a victorious grin, Harry pushed Ron ahead, into the room, with an encouraging "Knock 'em dead."

And only now did Ron realize he had been tricked. Cursing all Slytherins, Ron did the only thing that seemed right at the time. He closed his eyes and ran, expecting to be attacked by the hundreds of birds flying in the room at the same time, to feel the pain of being pecked into submission by the small, flying attackers, the noise of their furious chirping as they pulled and tore through his clothes and skin, the dull pain of hitting a wooden object nose-first…

…eh?

Ron opened his eyes in surprise, rubbing his hurt nose and sore bottom with a wince of pain. He had ran right through the room and straight into the door, before rebounding an landing on the said lower part of his anatomy.

He gave a look behind him. The birds were still flying around endlessly, just as they had before. Harry, Hermione and Blaise were simply walking toward him, the red-head girl evidently stifling laughs with very limited success. If anything, it made him feel worse.

"Well, that was anti-climatic." Hermione noted flatly.

"Ok, so the birds aren't there to attack us." Harry guessed. "Let's try to open the door."

The door, predictably enough, was locked.

"Let me try… Alohomora!" Hermione said, tapping her wand on the doorknob. The magic sparks fizzled out a few seconds after appearing, but the spell had other noticeable effect; the door still stubbornly refused to open.

"What do we do now?" Ron asked, sitting down.

"How about we play 'shoot the birdie'?" An irritated Blaise asked, pulling a bird out of her hair. When she managed it…

…they saw what the birds really were.

Keys.

Flying keys with wings on their sides. Harry certainly wasn't surprised by the physical impossibility of this.

…heck, he had seen weirder. After seeing a chair tap-dance, a melon doing a tango with a banana – no pun intended, honest! – and Filch's relationship with Mrs. Norris, he didn't think anything short of near-death experiences could scare or surprise him anymore.

"There are brooms over there!" Hermione said excitedly, picking up the said wooden objects, but then noted with a frown that "there are only three of them…".

"So we just have to catch the right one, eh?" Harry said, grinning. "Sounds simple enough. Who wants to stay on the ground?"

"I'll do it." The bushy-haired girl said, handing the poor-quality school brooms to Ron and the two Slytherins. "I don't fancy flying on those."

"We're looking for an old-style key, preferably in silver like the lock." The Weasley boy said after examining the lock and receiving the broom.

"Just like Quidditch." Harry noted with a smirk. "And this time, I didn't take any poison and nobody's here to curse my broom."

"Yeah, but nobody's here to see it either." Blaise noted.

"Small detail." Harry said with a shrug, mounting the broom expertly. "Ugh, what an old piece of…"

"Termite shhit?" Nemesis completed quizzically on his arm, before sliding to the ground.

"Erm… What's your snake doing?" Ron asked.

"I don't think he likes heights either." Harry guessed.

"And hhyou'd better not ffforget it." The snake snapped. "Now getss that key down hhhere ssso we continue."

"Yes boss…" Harry muttered darkly, unheard by the others.

By the time Ron and Blaise lifted off, Harry was already up and looking, swirling around the flying keys his practiced eyes seeking out flashes of silver belonging to old-style keys. He had no idea how many keys there were, and hoped he would get the right one on the first try.

He found one that fit the bill, flying directly under him. His timing perfect, he swirled his broom upside-down and snatched the key, before flying back down and trying it. It was nearly twice too big for the lock.

"Hold on to this." He said, giving the failed key to Hermione for safekeeping, before lifting off again.

Soon after he had started looking for it again, he saw another flash of silver, this time belonging to a much smaller key. Hoping it was the right one, he started chasing after it. Harry had to hand it to it, that key was quick and slick, nearly losing him twice with sharp turns that nothing short of the golden snitch could pull off. That, and it seemed to constantly be surrounded by other keys.

"C'mon, get out of the way…" He futilely snapped at the keys in the way, pushing an odd silver key with a broken wing away from his face.

…silver key with a broken wing?!

With the grace of a falling stone, he stopped and whirled around on the uneasy and unsteady broom. Sure enough, the key was quickly moving away from him.

"It's that one! It's wing's broken!" He called to Ron and Blaise, who were both above him, chasing after the same key. Both stopped and looked down at what Harry was chasing.

If the previous key was slippery, this one was downright liquid. To Harry's annoyance, it seemed to constantly fly twice as fast as the cumbersome broom could. Ron and Blaise's help didn't help either, they were even slower than Harry, not being as practiced in pulling as speed out of a broom as him.

Twice, he had passed close to catching the darn thing. Twice, it had whirled around and evaded and twice Harry had been close to breaking the broom in anger. He was getting seriously angry at it, as if it was taunting him as well as it flew, constantly staying just an inch out of his reach while he knew it could go much faster.

Harry had never missed a single Snitch before. He wasn't going to start now.

Slytherin code of conduct rule 34: If fair means have failed you, it is time to resort to foul.

Harry whipped out his wand, pointed it at the offending key and yelled "IMPEDIMENTA!"

The key suddenly seemed like it was moving in slow motion, it's wings moving with about as much speed as Goyle on an early morning. With extreme ease, Harry picked the key up and grinned at it.

"Never piss off a Slytherin." He said to it, before noticing that the metallic tints in the room had started to get stronger.

"Harry! Look out!" Hermione gasped.

Harry looked down at her, only to see what had caused her so much alarm; the gargoyles had started to move! In fact, both of them had opened their wide, ridged wings, turned their glowing, unintelligent yellow eyes at him and opened their stone mouths armed with sharp-looking teeth. The bushy-haired girl had scampered as far as she could from the monsters.

"Uh ho…"

"Must be some kind of protection against people using magic!" Blaise guessed, flying beside him.

With a mighty roar, the two stone monsters lifted off, their wings beating simultaneously, pushing their bodies higher in the air, their clawed arms getting ready to skewer the Slytherins in pieces.

"Running would be a good idea, right?" Harry noted.

"A very good one." Blaise agreed, before both pointed their brooms the opposite direction and flew as fast as they could from them.

THAT fit in the life-threatening category.

The two gargoyles chased after the terrorized first years, beating their wings in a fast, uneven rhythm as they flew twice as fast as the aged brooms.

"Impedimenta! Petrificus Totalus, Incendio!" Harry's curses and hexes, which he shot backward while flying forward, simply bounced off the monsters' thick stone skin, causing them no harmful effects.

"Harry, the wall!" Blaise warned.

The boy looked ahead, noting the quickly approaching obstacle. He gave a nod at Blaise, who nodded back.

A second before hitting the wall, the two children split up, Harry turning left so close to the wall he was running on it.

The two Gargoyles' eyes never left Harry a single second. Both of them turned left, chasing after the boy, the spade-ended rock tail of the second one hitting the wall with enough strength to shatter large rocks off it. Unfortunately, Hermione was directly underneath.

"Look out!" Ron screamed, diving down under the rocks and pulling the bushy-haired girl out a second before she was crushed. The tip of his broom hit the rock floor and shattered, causing the two children to capsize and crash in a disorganized heap on the floor, Ron pressing the smaller girl protectively against himself.

For a while, the two of them stayed on the floor, Ron's arms still wrapped around Hermione's shape. Eyes wide open, Hermione's cheeks burned up in a furious flush, which she tried to hide by pushing away and looking at the wall on the opposite of the lanky boy. Neither had received much more than a bruise. In Ron's case, his head hurt a bit.

"Are you all right, 'mione?" He asked worriedly, his own blush exposing his freckles even more than usual.

Managing to get her blush under control, Hermione shot him a glare. "How many times do I have to tell you not to call me 'mione?!"

"Oi, I just saved your life! And that's how you repay me?"

"I would have moved out of the way, you know!" She snapped back.

"Hey, you lovebirds, a little help here!!" Harry called from above before Ron could retort, diving toward them. "Take this!"

With this as a warning, the boy threw the key at Hermione, before veering again. The two monsters flew overhead, the first's tail hitting the second's back and making it's clawed limbs touch the stone ground with a deafening crash and a raging roar.

"Quickly!" Hermione gasped, running toward the door.

Ron stared at her blankly, shook his head and muttered: "Totally nutters."

Blaise landed close to Hermione, who was fidgeting frantically with the key, trying to get it inside the lock without digging a trench in the wood, so far without success. After unlocking the door and opening it, Blaise turned around and cupped her hands around her mouth.

"It's open, Harry!" She bellowed. "Hurry up!!!"

The black-haired boy nodded and, in the middle of a veer that made the claws of the first go inches from the back of his neck, gave a burst of speed, heading straight for the door. Along the way, he picked one of the keys, ripped one of it's wings off, holding himself only with his knees, and let go of the key afterwards. Then, not changing direction, he turned toward the two speeding Gargoyles, pointed his wand at the wing.

"Engorgio!"

The wing expanded like some kind of sheet, which Harry let fly between him and the Gargoyles, who rammed directly into it and started tearing it apart. He then flew through the open doorway and landed skillfully while Blaise rammed the door closed, a second before two destructive impact sounds were heard. The monsters had rammed right into the wall and, hopefully, shattered to pieces.

"Missed me?" Harry said predictably without missing a beat, gathering Nemesis in his arms.

"Goof." Blaise scolded with a relieved smile, flicking his ear.

The next room suddenly lit up before their eyes. It was a rectangular room with, in the middle, a gigantic chessboard. The huge black pieces were on their side, with even the tiny pawns a good two feet taller than them.

"This is so silly." Blaise said, noticing the door on the other side of the faceless white pieces.

She started walking forward, crossing the chessboard with quick strides. However, a foot before breaking through the wall of white pawns, they all simultaneously revealed that they bore pairs of scimitars, two of which narrowly missed chopping Blaise's arm off.

"Erm… ok, maybe not... so silly… after all…" She corrected herself, taking careful steps backwards.

"Now what do we do?" Harry wondered.

"Looks obvious to me," Ron said. "We'll have to play chess to get to the other side."

"How do we do that? Those pieces are much too heavy for us to move." Blaise noted.

"You never move the pieces with your hands," Ron gasped like it was a sacrilege. "you just tell them where to go, that way you don't damage the pieces' animation magic."

"Yeah, whatever." Blaise said with a shrug.

"We'll probably have to play as the pieces themselves." Hermione theorized.

Ron nodded, taking a few steps forward and touching the closest black knight's side. Immediately, the piece animated itself. The horse's hooves impacted against the chessboard and the knight turned his helmeted head at Ron.

"Erm… are we going to have to join ourselves to you to get to the other side?"

The knight confirmed with a nod.

"Too bad Draco's not here, he'd beat this easy…" Blaise grumbled.

"Hey, I can beat this too!" Ron protested. "I'm the best chess player of Gryffindor!"

"Then go ahead, what do we do?" Harry asked.

Ron looked thoughtful for a moment, then turned to Hermione.

"You're a rook, Hermione, Harry, you take the bishop. Blaise, you take the queen."

"The only place appropriate for me." The dark-red haired girl flaunted with a superior smirk.

"And you?" Harry asked, ignoring his friend.

"I'll be a knight."

"Typical Gryffindor." The Slytherin boy sighed.

The pieces had apparently heard, because the queen, a rook, a knight and a bishop suddenly disappeared, allowing the children to take their place.

"And now?" Blaise asked, looking at Ron, who was directly at her right.

"Now, the white pieces play."

With a stony rumbling sound, one of the white side's pawns advanced two steps forward.

Harry had to hand it to Ron. While his plays were much more obvious than Draco's, who liked to trick one into overconfidence and cleverly hide his game through a mask, he certainly wasn't a newcomer. With every piece he lost, the enemy lost another, of the same kind or of superior power. However, the white pieces were cleaver as well. The fact that Ron couldn't sacrifice one of the human players also hindered him.

The white queen was especially sadistic toward their pieces, moving slowly, as if to prolong their terror before striking down and shattering the pieces with extreme brutality.

Everyone held their breath as the white queen shattered another of their pawns into rubble and dust.

"Oh no, Blaise!" Ron gasped in horror.

The queen's new position gave her a perfect attack position toward the dark-red haired girl, who gulped as she realized this.

"Should I attack her?"

"No," Ron said. "That would leave you open to that rook over there… There's only… one way…" The boy gulped, before turning to the girl. "Blaise, after this turn, destroy the queen. After that, Harry, you move to that case," He pointed to a case that was just beside the queen. "and you checkmate that king."

"What are you doing, Ron?!" Hermione gasped.

"…what I have to." The boy said, before starting to walk… directly into the white queen's path.

The white piece turned toward Ron and started to advance. By now, they had figured out what the boy was trying to do.

"RON!!!" A very worried Hermione shouted.

Ron was staring fearfully as the queen approached. Slowly, as if relishing in the boy's terror, it lifted it's stone club, bringing it down brutally against the eleven years old's skull. Then, just as roughly, she grabbed him by the cape and threw him off the board, where the rest of the defeated black pieces lay.

"That… could have been… me…" Blaise said, trembling. Then, she turned toward the queen with an irate glare.

"All right, there are a few things I can't stand. People who attack my friends, and things that indebt me. And you just did both!" She roared angrily, running toward the queen.

As soon as she stepped on the white queen's space, the piece started it's trek toward the white pieces' graveyard.

"Oh no you don't!" Blaise bellowed, taking out her wand. "Impedimenta! Cremo!!"

The slowed queen suddenly found itself bursting into fire. Should it have been organic, it would have been carbonized on the spot from the sheer heat created by Blaise's anger. However, since it was made of stone, it merely darkened, some of it's parts chipping and falling on the ground.

"DIRUMPO!" She shouted. A ray of yellow light burst out of her wand and smashed into the queen's club, which shattered in pieces and exploded in a burst of ivory dusty powder.

"EXPLODARE!" She finished. Another ray of yellow light later, the entire statue brilliantly exploded into pieces with a deafening bang. The debris flew everywhere, thankfully hitting none of them. When the almost misty dust settled, there was nothing left of the white piece but ruins and chips of stone, some of it still falling down into the foot deep crater she had made in the rock chessboard.

"…Blaise?" Hermione gasped after a moment of silence, her eyes locked upon the pieces.

"Yeah?" The red-head asked calmly, her anger apparently satisfied.

"Remind me never to go on your bad side."

"Done." The girl said with a smile.

A turn later, with the white pieces moving a rook toward Hermione, Harry walked straight toward the case Ron had asked him to go.

"Checkmate." He announced.

Sure enough, the king dropped it's sword to the ground in submission.

Immediately, the three ran straight toward the black pieces' cemetery, in which Ron was laying.

"Out of my way!" Blaise snapped at the white pawns in her path, who, had they been living, would have been classified as terrified, wisely jumped into complying, one of them going as far as tripping and landing on it's face, in it's rush.

Harry didn't blame them; Blaise could be very scary.

"Is he all right?" Hermione asked once the other girl had checked up on the boy.

"He's out cold." She stated the obvious. "Other than that, I have no idea. I'm no mediwitch."

"I'll stay here." Hermione said, walking toward Ron. "In case he wakes up."

Blaise suddenly got up and stopped Hermione with her hand. "No, I'll stay here. You'll be more useful anyway, miss 'walking encyclopedia'."

The bushy-haired girl huffed a bit, but conceded. "All right, but you better make sure he's all right, ok?"

"I owe him." Blaise simply said, shrugging. "I have to repay him somehow. You two continue ahead… and give Snape a kick in the arse for me, kay?"

Harry grinned and shot her a wink "Count on it. C'mon, 'mione. Let's go."

"Oh not you too." The bushy-haired girl groaned with a sigh. "I hate that nickname."

The door led to another passage The two first years mutely walked, their steps echoing between the dark stone walls. The air was getting more humid, allowing a chill through their usually warm robes. It also carried a faint, yet easily detectable perfume of…

"Eww…" Said Harry as they crossed the door into the next room.

…troll. The creature in question was laying on the ground, defeated, a big lump on it's head betraying it had been knocked unconscious. Thankful they would not have to fight the beast, but wishing they didn't have to smell it, the two progressed to the next room.

"How many more do you think there is?" Hermione wondered, opening the door.

"Fluffy was Hagrid's, the devil's snare probably was Sprout's." Harry replied thoughtfully. "I'll bet Flitwick enchanted the keys and McGonagall made the chess set. I dunno who put the troll there, probably Quirrell; it is a dark creature. That leaves Snape and Dumbledore."

"So, only two more and we're at the stone."

"Exactly."

Just beyond the door was another, simple square stone room with a wooden table standing in the middle, bearing many differently-shaped and differently colored bottles. On the other side of the room, a simple wooden door was innocently offering them a way out.

"It can't be that simple." Harry noted as they walked ahead, hoping to reach the next door without having to touch the bottles.

No such luck.

As son as they reached the middle of the room, black and purple flames appeared in front and behind them respectively. They were trapped.

"Figures. I guess there's only one thing to do then." Harry noted as he started to examine the bottles.

Hermione looked around the room, hoping to find some kind of clue as to what they were supposed to do with the bottles; throw them on the fire? Probably not. Mix them into something that would douse the fire? Maybe, but that led to the problem of identifying the liquids and thinking up the correct potion; though she was brilliant, she doubted she'd be able to do all that in time.

Her eyes landed on something on the floor, a simple piece of parchment that had been evidently thrown aside. On it was written an enigma:

Danger lies before you, while safety lies behind,
Two of us will help you, which ever you would find,
One among us seven will let you move ahead,
Another will transport the drinker back instead,
Two among our number hold only nettle wine,
Three of us are killers, waiting bidden in line.
Choose, unless you wish to stay here forevermore,
To help you in your choice, we give you these clues four:
First, however slyly the poison tries to hide
You will always find some on nettle wine's left side;
Second, different are those who stand at either end,
But if you would move onward, neither is your friend;
Third, as you see clearly, all are different size,
Neither dwarf nor giant holds death in their insides;
Fourth, the second left and the second on the right
Are twins once you taste them, though different at first sight.

Hermione let out a gasp and grinned.

"That's brilliant! This isn't magic, it's logic, a riddle! What a great idea, most great sorcerers have nearly no logic, they'd never be able to find the answer…"

"And something that stops us from stopping Voldemort is a great idea?"

"Not necessarily, but it's got good intentions. Let's see…"

"How long do you think you'll take?"

"Not too long, hopefully… and longer if you disturb me."

"I shall endeavor to stray from your path, o great queen of the books and mistress of logic—" He dramatically declared with a heavy tone of sarcasm.

"Did I ever tell you you're annoying when you want?" Hermione interrupted with a glare.

"I think it's the first time, 'mione."

With an annoyed growl, she made sure to ignore the boy, concentrating all her attention on the paper, looking up at the bottles every now and then. Suddenly, a minute later, she got up and picked a small bottle up.

"That one'll get you through the flames in the front, and this one," a larger bottle was picked up "through the back."

Harry picked the first bottle and looked at it.

"There's not enough for two people." He noted.

"Well, I guess one of us will have to go alone." She said with a fearful sigh.

"I'll go. You go back and help Dumbledore get here. Hopefully I'll be able to hold Snape back long enough to save the stone until he arrives."

"But… what if you-know-who's with him?"

Harry shrugged. "I was lucky once." He said, trying not to sound as nervous as he was and managing the impossible.

Hermione suddenly bit her bottom lip, before throwing herself at Harry and hugging him with all her strength. The boy would have gasped had he been able to take a breath.

"What…'s… that for…?!" He managed.

"You're a great wizard, Harry." She assured him, teary-eyed, smiling sadly. "You'd definitely have your place in Gryffindor."

"Oi, feeling insulted here." He noted flatly, grinning and gently pushing her away. "Telling a Slytherin he'd be a good Gryffindor isn't a good way to give a compliment. But, because of the situation, thank you, 'mione."

"…didn't I tell you not to call me that?" Hermione asked with a glare, the sadness completely gone.

"Not yet." He replied with a nonchalant shrug, looking at the potion. "Are you sure it's the right one?"

"Positive." She assured, lifting her own bottle.

"Bottoms up?" Harry asked with a wink.

The girl smiled and both took a drink simultaneously.

It was like drinking liquid ice; the unnaturally cold liquid, unlike water, didn't cool down even inside his stomach, giving him the weirdest feeling he had ever had. Then, he suddenly felt like his whole body had been thrown in icy water. He shuddered involuntarily. In front of him, Hermione did the same, only with a high-pitched squeak accompanying it.

"You'd better get going, 'mione."

Hermione nodded and, just before crossing the purple flames, gave a glare at Harry.

"I told you not to call me that."

Harry grinned and lifted his arms in defense as the girl vanished through the magically-generated inferno. He turned toward the other door, hoping that the flames wouldn't burn him.

"Aren't you ffforgetting sssomeone?"

"Oh! Nemesis!" Harry gasped in surprise, looking down at the snake on his arm.

"I hope you ssstill got sssome of sssat poshhhion, 'caussse I don't want to become sssnake ffflambé."

Harry looked inside the bottle and nodded. "Just a drop though."

"Shhould be enofff… I'm muchhh sssmaller than you."

"Ok then…" He raised the potion to the snake's mouth, allowing it to take the liquid in it's mouth, where it was quickly swallowed.

Harry immediately felt the snake go cold and shudder rather violently.

"You all right?" Harry asked once the spasms were done with.

"I'm ok," Nemesis assured. "we'd better go on ahead and ssstop Sssnape befffore he getsss zze ssstone."

With a decided nod, Harry walked through the flames. Surprisingly, it felt only a bit warm, not the agonizing pain he expected to feel. Nemesis seemed fine as well, as he wasn't screaming in pain or anything. In fact…

"Can you get a bit lower? Thisss isss comfffortable…"

…he loved it. Harry shrugged and rolled his eyes.

'Crazy snake.'

The path through the fire was easy enough and not once did he ever feel too hot. He reached the door easily and opened it without delay, expecting anything. This was Dumbledore's defense, after all, and who knows what ideas went through the slightly mad headmaster of the school's mind.

…except a loony.

He had expected anything from an empty, monochrome white room to a padded cell, passing by giant worm-infested deserts – the origin of such an idea was unknown to him – and mazes populated only by children programs' characters.

Fortunately, it wasn't any of the above. Unfortunately, it was anything but what he expected.

…or rather… who.

"YOU!" He gasped in surprise and horror at finding who was in the next room, apparently pondering on what to do.

It was Quirrell.

Yes, you read right. Quirrell. Mister I'm-afraid-my-shadow'll-jump-out-and-strangle-me. S. Quirrell, who was now watching a familiar mirror, the only object in the otherwise plain room. The mirror of Erised.

The turbaned man looked up at Harry and frowned.

"Yes, it's me." He said calmly, without a single trace of his usual stutter. "I was wondering when you'd get here, Potter."

Pulling his wits back together from the surprise, he began analyzing his situation. Alone, with only his wand and Nemesis to protect himself against a full-grown defense against the dark arts teacher. If things got to a fight, he wouldn't stand much a chance. His best chances lay into delaying things until Dumbledore arrived, when he would have a much better chance.

And based on the way Quirrell was staring at the mirror, he didn't have the stone yet.

"So, it wasn't Snape after all. It was you all along, wasn't it?" Harry started the conversation he hoped would last long enough, making sure to slowly walk around the man so that he wouldn't see Dumbledore arriving from behind him.

"Yes it was." The man confirmed with a nod, his eyes locked on the mirror. "though I must admit Serverus made a perfect scapegoat, didn't he? Always swooping down on everyone like some kind of overgrown bat! Even the most famous student of his own house, who should, by all means, make him proud… yourself. With him around, who would suspect the p-poor, stutt-tuttering Pr-Professor Qu-Quirrell?"

Harry mentally slapped himself. He had fallen in that idiot's trap! Of course, Snape hadn't made it easy either.

"And I'll bet it wasn't him who jinxed my broom during the quidditch match, was it. It was you, wasn't it." It wasn't a question.

"Exactly. He was trying to save your pitiful life with a counter-curse… he would have failed, too, if your Mudblood friend Granger hadn't distracted me in her attempt to set fire to Snape's robe… an excellent attempt, by the way. You'll have to congratulate her."

"I'll pass the message." He noted flatly.

By now, he was on the other side of the room. Quirrell was in between him and the only door. While it was risky and diminished his chances of escape, if Dumbledore arrived he would at least have the advantage of surprise.

Where was Dumbledore anyway? What was taking Draco so long?!

"I guess Draco was right about you." Harry said after a moment of silence. "He saw right through you."

"Yes, he did. I expected no less of him." Quirrell said with a shrug. "After all, his father and Serverus are long-time friends. It's doubtless they knew each other even before young Malfoy entered the school."

That was news to Harry. Draco's Potter-hating father was friend with Snape?

'Somehow, I'm not surprised.' He thought flatly.

"What about Higgs?" Harry asked again.

"I have no claim to his actions, he did it all by himself. Very promising young student, don't you think? Truly an example of a Slytherin mind in action. "Those cunning folks use any means to achieve their ends.", as said by the sorting hat itself."

"Not really, a real Slytherin mind would have passed on the blame on someone else." Harry noted. As said in the Slytherin code of conduct: If someone must be blamed, make sure it's not you.

"Indeed." Quirrell agreed nonchalantly, his eyes going from the mirror to Harry. "And as a Slytherin yourself, aren't you interested in the possibilities that the stone offers?"

"Infinite money and immortal life, eh?" Harry said, looking rather thoughtful. It wasn't quite an act; he was thinking of what he'd do with something like that in his hands.

"Exactly… and I'd be willing to share it with you, if you help me find it."

Harry's thoughts went straight to what would happen if Quirrell got the stone. Not wanting to make false assumptions, he asked.

"What would you do if you had it?"

Quirrell actually looked thoughtful at that one, giving Harry a calculating look.

"I would bring back my lord and master to his full power, where you and I could both have our places at his sides…"

"And that master wouldn't happen to be Voldemort, right?"

"Who else?"

'I dunno, I was thinking of the energizer bunny.' Harry thought sarcastically. "And what insurance do I have that he wouldn't try to kill me as soon as he came back?" He wasn't really thinking about letting Quirrell have the stone, and even less Voldemort. But since playing along served his purposes, delaying him, he was willing to act the part.

"He always reward the ones who serve him well." Quirrell said, as if it assured Harry's survival. After all, he was the reason Voldemort was gone in the first place.

He pretended to give it a thought, while in fact his mind was already set on 'no chance in hell'. Meanwhile, Quirrell had turned back to the mirror and was contemplating on what to do.

"What do I do with that… I can see myself giving the stone to my lord, but it doesn't tell me at all where it is…"

Harry realized Quirrell had no idea what the mirror of Erised did. Might as well keep him in the dark, he reflected, as the longer he took, the better. Might as well distract him further.

"I've been wondering something… if you're the one trying to steal the stone, quite unsuccessfully so far I must admit," he said with a sarcastic tone "why does Snape look like he hate me that much?"

"Why? Don't you know? He does hate you. He was in school at the same time as your father. They hated each other like the plague."

Harry tensed up. Again, that was news to him. Snape had been at Hogwarts at the same time as his father?

"I guess Potter's claim was true, there really is a daredevil gene in the family." Snape had said, just before Harry had been tested to play as Seeker. He mentally whacked himself for missing it.

Harry reminded himself of his goal. Hoping it would distract Quirrell like such a line usually distracted the servants in TV shows, he asked:

"How is it, serving Voldemort?"

After the shudder that went through the man's body at hearing the name, he turned around and smiled a bit. "Why? Interested?"

"I'd like to keep every path available." He lied convincingly, smiling back. However, it was because he had pulled Quirrell's attention from the mirror to himself

"You live with your muggle relatives during the summer, don't you?" Quirrell asked.

"Hopefully not anymore." Harry replied truthfully, his eyes not leaving the man's for half a second. He even tried to blink at the same time as him.

"Wouldn't you like to have the chance, the opportunity to take your revenge against them? To humiliate them as they humiliated you?"

"I must admit it's tempting." Once again, Harry was thruthful. He certainly would like to have such a chance, but not at the price of serving his parents' murderer.

Satisfied by his answer, Quirrell continued. "Serving my lord would grant you that… it's the greatest feeling of power… of control… you feel like you can do anything if you decide to."

"And where did you first come into his service?" He asked, feigning growing interest, while in fact it was his disgust that was doing a convincing imitation of a growing vine on steroids.

"In my travels around the world. Back then, I was a young, stupid man,"

'Whereas you're an old and stupid man now.' Harry thought.

"filled with ridiculous ideas on the notion of good and evil. Lord Voldemort showed me how wrong I was… he showed me there's only power, and those too stupid to look for it. Since then, I've been serving him loyally, although I did do a few mistakes and he had to punish me… He doesn't forgive mistakes easily," Quirrell started again, this time his voice more shaky. "But he rewards greatly if you serve him right."

Hearing the man talk about Voldemort was like hearing a dog about his master, eager to be rewarded a cookie. Harry felt physically sick.

To his horror, however, Quirrell turned back to the mirror and started looking again. Hoping to distract him again, Harry jumped on the first subject that came to his mind.

"And what does he ask you to do?"

"For now," Quirrell said, looking at the mirror more intently than ever before "he asked me to bring the stone back to him, which I will as soon as I break this mirror's secret." his eyes left the mirror to give him a glance "If you help me, I'll give a good word to him about you…" he said, as if talking about a regular job's recommendation. Again, Harry felt sick.

Not answering, Harry watched as the man started pacing around the mirror, muttering "Is it inside? Should I break the mirror?"

At that moment, Harry decided. Voldemort was too disgusting to be allowed to live. The thing he wanted the most, he quickly realized with a shock, was to find the stone and get it to the safety of Dumbledore. Therefore, if he looked inside the mirror, he would probably see himself find the stone and take it away.

Harry decided that the best way to delay him, for now, was to find the stone himself. It was evident Quirrell wouldn't take very long now. Stealthily, he started to walk back toward the mirror, taking slow, measured steps while Quirrell was too absorbed in it to pay attention to him.

He managed to look inside the mirror, only to see himself. Only himself. For a moment, nothing happened, but then the Harry inside the mirror winked at him and dug into it's pocket, finding the stone there. Then, it replaced it in it's pocket, and Harry felt a sudden weight in his own.

…he now had the Philosopher's stone.

"How does this mirror work? What is it's secret… Master, aid me!" Quirrell called.

To Harry's surprise and horror, another voice, a hissing, high-pitched voice that sounded terribly familiar replied, a voice that seemed to come from Quirrell.

"The boy has it… the boy has it…!" It said.

Quirrell turned toward Harry and grinned. "Really? Where was it?"

"Oh, it was easy to get, really." Harry said truthfully, ignoring the sudden twinge of pain in his scar and giving an odd, calculating look at Quirrell. "So Voldemort is here, eh?"

"He never leaves me." Quirrell assured, pointing at his turban, his demented grin still planted on his face.

The voice rose again. "Let me speak to him." It hissed slowly.

"But… master, you're not strong enough…"

"I'm strong enough for this." Lord Voldemort's voice assured.

"V-…Very well." Quirrell said, his hands going for his turban, which he started to undo. Had things been different, Harry would have laughed at the bald head of the man. However, he didn't have time to, that the DADA teacher turned around, revealing the back of his head…

"Harry… Potter…" Voldemort hissed, his red-eyes glittering in homicidal rage.

The boy barely stifled a gag. Pasty-white in color, with two vertical slits as nostrils, the snake-like face of Voldemort was fused to the back of Quirrell's head!!

'This is disgusting… no way in hell I'm giving the stone to those freaks!' Harry thought in outrage.

"See what I have become? Vapor and shadow… I only take shape sharing someone else's body. Fortunately, there are always a few who are willing to have me in their hearts and heads. Unicorn blood has strengthened me these last weeks… you have seen Quirrell drink some for me, in the forest. And once I have the stone and it's elixir of life, I'll be able to create a body for myself and come back to my full power…"

Harry struggled to steady his breath and calm himself; being panicked would only act in his favor. Now, if only he could kick out those iron-booted tap-dancing leprechauns out of his scar…

"So, all you need is this, eh?" Harry said, taking the stone out of his pocket.

It was a small, blood red crystal that looked rather normal. It's powers were rather unbelievable, he had expected a bit more.

"Yesss…" Voldemort hissed, his eyes fixated on the stone. Quirrell took a few steps backwards to get them closer to him. "Now give it to me… and I will forgive your crime and grant you a plassse by my ssside…"

For a moment, Harry wondered if he was talking to a snake again. He assessed his situation again;

1) He had the philosopher's stone.

2) He was very much cornered. The door was too far for him to reach before Quirrell could catch him.

3) Voldemort was approaching and would be catching the stone anytime.

Knowing this, Harry decided to end this game. Dumbledore would obviously not arrive in time.

"As tempting as the offer is," Harry declared in a drawling voice that sounded an awful lot like Draco's, "I'm afraid I must…" He lifted the stone high above his head, getting ready for the next part. "DECLINE!"

And he threw the stone with all his strength down, shattering it in a million of blood red pieces on the stone floor.

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!" Voldemort roared. "KILL HIM!"

As if reacting to Harry's rage, the boy's scar suddenly started burning, as if someone was trying to tear his face in two apart with tweezers and a laser cutter.

Quirrell span around, brandishing his wand. By now, he was only two feet away from Harry. If he decided to curse the boy, he would have no time to move out of the way. Not that Harry could move at that moment, being blinded by the agonizing pain going through his forehead.

"AVADA…" Quirrell began, but Harry's sleeve suddenly moved and, as quick as a blur, Nemesis leaped out like a spring, biting into the freak's arm.

A second later, the snake's tail whipped around Quirrell's arm. His efforts to take the snake off were fruitless; Nemesis tightly constricted around it's target…

Quirrell's resistance became more frantic, more panicked. "No wait, stop—" and a stomach-churning crack was heard as the arm suddenly seemed to shrink. Quirrell's arm had snapped. In his pain, he dropped his wand and let out an agonized scream.

A roar of "STUPEFY!" suddenly came from the door, along with a crimson bolt of lightning that rammed straight into Quirrell, throwing him off his feet in a wild spin, where he landed, unconscious, face down. Voldemort's head gave a death glare at Harry, and suddenly Quirrell's body burst into flames.

"I'll be back, Potter!" Lord Voldemort hissed as he disappeared in flames and smoke.

When the flames subsided, all that was left of Quirrell were a bunch of Human-shaped ashes. The burning on Harry's forehead quickly dimmed as the dark lord left. When it was nearly gone, the boy suddenly remembered something.

"Nemesis!!" He gasped in horror, staring at the pile of dust.

"Are you referring to that thing, Potter?" A familiar voice said. But not the voice he expected to hear.

It was Snape.

"P—Professor!" He stuttered in surprise. "Where's Professor Dumbledore?"

"Imagine mister Malfoy's surprise when he discovered Headmaster Dumbledore had been urgently called by the ministry and had to leave without notice. He did the next best thing and called for his head of house, me." He explained. "And your… Nemesis wouldn't happen to be that, would it?"

Harry looked down at Snape's feet to find a familiar shape, unmoving, twisted in loose coils.

"It received the backlash of my Stupefixion hex. I'm afraid it won't be much of a companion until tomorrow."

Harry sighed in relief, cradling the snake in his arms.

"We'll talk about the fact that you're not allowed a snake for a pet later." Snape announced, looking around the room "I see you once again ignored the rules and decided to take matters into your own hands, Potter."

Harry gulped. Uh-ho…

"However, it seems that, for once, that daredevil gene of yours came to good use. You certainly… protected the stone."

As he said that, he gave a look at the remains of the philosopher's stone, which were silently floating in a small puddle of glittering, red and unrecognizable liquid.

"Breaking it seemed like a good idea at the time." Harry admitted, before letting out a yawn that would have made a hippopotamus proud. The adrenaline gone, he suddenly realized his body was protesting against his every movements.

Seeing how tired he was, Snape looked at his watch, before sighing. "that's what you get for staying up all night, Potter. Come on, let's get you to the infirmary."

And the last thing he remembered was being carried out of the room, too physically and mentally exhausted to walk straight.

~~*~~

Author's notes: There, now there's only the epilogue to wrap this whole thing up, and then I'll start releasing book II, which is already under production as you are reading these words ^_-. Details, however, are strictly confidential to me, myself and this computer, neither of which are likely to declare it publicly. ^_-

~ I apologize if I seem to bash Ron a little, but that's a bit forced; this is a Slytherin-centered fic, and Ron's Slytherin-hating attitude doesn't go well for him, especially since this is based on the POV of Harry.

~ One of the planned couples is R/H, which I am already building the foundations; without Harry to distract them, the two are much closer in this fic than in the books. That will become evident in book 3 and 4.

~ "What the… Snakes are cold-blooded! How can Nemesis drink the potion?!"… blame it on magic. We always do. ^_-;;;

~ Thanks to VMorticia for writing the wonderful little guidebook: The Slytherin code of conduct, from which I quote sometimes. Read it, it's good!

~ Getting the chessboard scene (With Ron getting hit) was hell to handle with my Beta, who's literally in love with the guy… ^_-

That's all for now… the biggest Author's notes of this whole fic ^_-.

OMAKE!!

Fortunately, it wasn't any of the above. Unfortunately, it was anything but what he expected.

…or rather… who.

"YOU!" He gasped in surprise and horror at finding who was in the next room, decorating the mirror with bright yellow confetti.

"Yes! It's me! Surprised?!?" Flitwick asked, laughing dementedly.

(Don't ask me where that came from, I was feeling 'slightly' demented.)

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