20,000 Kisses Under the Lake
or
"Whoever said water was romantic, hasn't met this squid"
"I am not going near that lake," Harry Potter informed his girlfriend.
"Oh come on Harry, it's just a picnic. By the lake. It will be incredibly romantic!" Ginny Weasley replied. "Please Harry, it is my sixteenth birthday, and you promised that we would do what I wanted to do today. And I want to have a picnic by the lake."
"But… but… that THING is in the lake. Every time I go near the lake, it assaults me," Harry complained. "I don't know why Professor Dumbledore lets Hagrid keep it, it's dangerous even by Hagrid's standards."
"Harry, the squid is perfectly gentle, you just seem
to…antagonize it for some reason."
"Antagonize it?"
"It's attacked me twice! First, it tries to drown me, and as I'm escaping it rips off my swim trunks, and then, when I dare go back to the lake the next year, in a boat mind you, it tipped it over!"
"That barely qualifies as assaulting you," Ginny protested. "Tipping over the boat like that. It knocked Dennis Creevey into the lake as well, and he thought it was cool."
"Well, it didn't steal his trousers," Harry said grumpily.
"Now Harry," Ginny pouted. "You promised that you and I would do something special today. And I want a picnic. By the lake." She paused. "And then. Then we are going to take a boat ride. ON the lake."
Harry gulped. Ginny obviously had the idea quite set in her mind now, and he knew there was no way he could talk her out of it.
Ginny leaned forward and kissed him gently on the lips. "You're going," she repeated, a small smile crossing her face.
Three Hours Later
"I can't believe I let you talk me into this," Harry complained.
Ginny sighed. He had been complaining ever since they had set up for the picnic. First they were too close to the lake. Then he saw the squid surface briefly and almost died of shock. This was her birthday. She would have what she wanted. It was time to ensure she got it.
"Come on Harry, our boat right awaits!" she said joyously. He would have fun today, whether he wanted to or not. He'd promised. Grabbing his arm, she hauled him up and led him towards the lake.
"I don't know Ginny," he said, eyeing the rowboat she'd picked out. "It doesn't look very sturdy. It doesn't even run by magic! The squid can-"
"Harry James Potter! I do not want to hear another mention of that squid for the rest of the day. It is off limits." Harry opened his mouth to protest. "Off limits," she repeated, cutting him off before he could begin.
"Besides," she said, grinning impishly. "If it wasn't for that squid, I'd have never got as good a view as I did. You look wonderful in a towel," she said wickedly.
Harry turned red. "Ginny!" he exclaimed.
"What? I'm not allowed to look at my boyfriend? I'm hurt," she said sarcastically. "Now get in the boat."
Harry froze. "What?" he gasped out.
"Just get in the boat Harry," Ginny said, trying very hard to control her temper, which was threatening to erupt any second. Honestly, boys could be so stupid sometimes. Scared of a little squid.
Harry settled himself down in the exact center of the rowboat, glancing around the lake, trying to ensure that there was no squid lurking.
Ginny gave an exasperated sigh, and settled herself on the rowboat. Pulling out her wand, she waved it over the oars and said "Remare."
The oars began to row themselves, and Ginny moved in closer to Harry.
"Now," she purred, "Isn't this romantic?"
Harry gave a non-committal "Uh huh."
"Harry," Ginny said warningly.
Harry gulped, not wanting to get into any more trouble with her than he already was.
"It's extremely romantic Gin," he said, cupping her face in his hand. "Happy birthday love."
He leaned towards her, stroking her cheek with his hand.
Ginny smiled, the first real smile she'd had all day. "That's more like it," she whispered, preparing herself to be snogged senseless. However, something out on the lake caught her eye. "Oh no," she whispered.
"Hmm?" Harry said, wondering why Ginny had pulled back from his intended kiss.
He looked out over the lake, and suddenly remembered his fears.
He paled rapidly. "No," he whispered. "Not the squid."
Yes, Ginny noted, it was the squid. And it was swimming towards them at an alarming pace.
Harry pulled out his wand, and was obviously intending to throw some sort of hex at the oversized sushi.
"Harry, no!" Ginny cried, grabbing his arm. "You'll only antagonize the creature."
"It's already antagonizing me," he protested.
But it was too late to do anything. The squid hit their rowboat at its top speed, knocking them over and sending them both under the water.
Ginny quickly managed to resurface, coughing up water.
"Harry," she cried, as she treaded water desperately. "Harry?"
There was no answer.
Ginny dived under the water, desperately trying to find Harry. Yet there was no sign of him. She kept trying to look, until she had to surface for air.
"Why didn't I pay more attention when we were learning the Bubble Head Charm?" she thought miserably.
As she prepared to make another dive, Harry surfaced, gasping desperately for air.
"Harry!" she cried, swimming over, and helping to pull him to shore. "Are you all right?"
"I. Hate. Seafood," was the only response she could get out of Harry as he tried to breathe normally.
"I'm sorry Harry, I didn't realize how-"
"Save it," he said shortly. He looked at her, and noticed the hurt expression in her eyes. "Gin, I'm sorry. It's just that… well, you know how I feel about that squid."
"I'm sorry," she said again.
"It's all right," he said, and pulled her into his arms. Ignoring the fact that they were both sopping wet, he kissed her passionately.
All of Ginny's apologies vanished, as she melted into his kiss.
"Harry-"
"Don't speak," he said quietly, pressing a finger against her lips.
"But, why do you taste like calamari?"
~*~
Ron was still laughing nearly twenty minutes after Harry finished his story.
"So let me get this straight, mate. After the squid knocks over your boat, you get caught up in its tentacles. But… you've got to be making up that last part. It just isn't possible."
Harry sighed. This was the third time he'd had to tell Ron the story, and he honestly did not feel like repeating it again. But apparently, he would have to. He needed to have Ron understand the seriousness of the situation. It wasn't every day that one was attacked by a lovesick squid, you know.
"It was holding me under Ron. And it trapped me in its tentacles. And its tentacles… they were… roaming over me."
Ron had to burst out laughing again. Harry looked totally traumatized.
"I can just see the Rita Skeeter article," he gasped out. "Potter takes disturbing interest in undersea creature."
"More like the other way around," Harry grumbled.
"Okay then," Ron replied. "Potter admitted to St Mungo's after being molested by Giant Squid."
"It isn't funny Ron," Harry snapped.
Ron looked like he wanted to argue the point, but covered it up behind a cough.
"Anyway," Harry continued, "I was completely trapped in its tentacles. And the, it leaned in towards me, and put its beak up against my mouth."
Ron snorted again. "D'you have any idea how much that story sounds like one of Lockhart's?" he asked incredulously.
Harry glared at him. "It, I think it was trying to kiss me or something."
Ron just ended up in another laughing fit at that.
~*~
Estella the Squid sunk to the bottom of the lake in sheer bliss. Today, she had fulfilled her greatest dream. Today, she had kissed Harry Potter.
Pulling herself out of the patch of seaweed she was sitting on, she practically floated back to her home, and her precious collection. She simply had to place her newest item in a place of honor. Next to the swim trunks perhaps? No, this was even better. This should go in the highest place of honor, next to the toast which he had given her. He and that girl, not that annoying red head who had dared kiss HER Harry, but that other girl had been walking along the lake one day. And Harry had thrown the toast directly at her. Giving her food was the surest way to prove Harry's affection for her. It was so romantic. Of course, there wasn't much of the toast left now, it was very difficult for bread to survive underwater. But she had saved as much of it as she possibly could.
Yes, this would have to go with the toast.
Swimming over, she placed the strands of hair directly over the toast, trying to ensure that they didn't float away.
But now she had a piece of Harry. A piece of him that would always be hers. Forever. Like the piece of toast.
Smiling, Estella swam off, dreaming of her next encounter with the dashing Mr. Potter, and perhaps another kiss.
Author's note-First of all, many many many thanks to Amy for writing her absolutely wonderful fic, Hope Springs Eternal which this story is based on. And thanks to Amy again for allowing me to write the sequel to it. Thank you Caitlyn and Kat for coming up with the pieces of the title. And thanks to Anne and Amy for the betas. Lastly, thanks to Rocky and Sweeney for encouraging me to send this to SQ.
I had a lot of fun writing this. Harry/Squid is one of those beautiful relationships that can be extrapolated from canon. It's so incredibly beautiful to write and read about, and I've had a blast.