standard disclaimers apply
in progress betaing
Author's Note:
In this chapter there is the explination of how Sephy dearest can get preggers as well as a hats off to Twig, tell me if you can spot it.
Also, dumb Palmer, /STUPID/ Suicidal Heidegger, and Nice Scarlet
Enjoy.
Part Two
The executives of Shin-ra inc. were a bit confused as to why a meeting was called, by Hojo of all people, with Sephiroth in attendance. Everyone knew that Sephiroth abhorred the creepy old man, but beyond that the two of them never attended meetings they weren't required for because they had no interest in the company or in money.
But no one was worried. They owned the world, nothing could go wrong.
However they were severely weirded out when they entered and Sephiroth dropped into his chair, pulled his knees to his chest with his ankles crossed, /hugged/ himself and looked utterly dejected and miserable with laying his head on top of his knees.
Hojo launched his attack, "As you may or may not know, Sephiroth was an experiment..."
Sephiroth tuned it out. He /was/ miserable and dejected. After Hojo had explained himself he had chased him around the lab with his Masamune as the scientist shouted out explanations. Said Jenova was Cetra, Ancient, Sephiroth had countered by saying that humans were their descendants and human males did not get...He shut himself away from the memory. He had destroyed a lot of glassware when that--*Jerk* mentioned that it might really be an it, a monster.
He sighed, a twinge of sad guilt tugging at his heart, /Those poor test tubes./
Scarlet was the first to loose her patients, "Get to the point Hojo!"
The professor sighed, "Sephiroth is, in a word, pregnant."
"WHAT?!"
Sephiroth closed his eyes.
"The Jenova specimen can regenerate spontaneously at will and not by instinct. Sephiroth shares many of her traits. But Jenova had wanted it, how it could happen spontaneously in..."
Sephiroth thought back, letting Hojo's annoying voice drift out of his consciousness.
=Begin Flashback=
"I wish we could have children, I know it's important to you and your family... I mean we can get married, but...Wishful thinking I know. I don't even want a kid, even though I do in an odd way. It doesn't make any sense but we're both drunk, thank you for joining me, I hate it when I have to get shots from 'the good doctor' and this time he even gave me the wrong injection and I'm rambling but I don--"
He kissed his cheek, "Don't worry about it, I was happy to join you and Hojo is an idiot. If my town and family are in that big of an uproar we'll adopt, if they aren't, they we won't, in either case we won't unless we both, or all three of us if we can get him to join us, agree on it--but a child would be nice. And it's not 'we can' it's 'we will' as soon we can get that stupid regulation changed or one of us resigns."
Sephiroth sighed. "Besides, I'd make a horrible father."
He grinned, "Who said anything about you being the daddy, you'd make a better mommy." And with that he took on the duties of the husband to his wife.
=End Flashback=
Sephiroth was dragged out of his sweet memory by these words, "--Child would make an excellent specimen--"
The next instant, before another syllable could be uttered Sephiroth was up, Masamune in one hand, Hojo's neck in the other, pinning the creepy little man to the table. His eyes blazed, pupils contracted to literal pinpoints. "You are NOT touching my baby!!! Or so help me I'll feed you your toes, and sell your mutilated feet on Wallmarket as ashtrays!"
He held up his hands and croaked something that sounded like "Alright." and Sephiroth let him up.
There was a minor buzz of conversation going around him, but a few things stuck out.
"I hope he doesn't intended to give birth au natural."
"--Can't. Remember Hojo said it wasn't in his digestive track anymore."
"Do you--Cesarean section?"
"--think so"
"What I want to know is who the hell is the Father!"
"He's just a stupid uke, how's he supposed to know who the father is?"
Dead silence. Heidegger attempted to fold his arms over his fat little body and looked bitter while nearly everyone else in the room stared at him in utter shock. Scarlet however focused her gaze on Sephiroth.
His eyes were huge, disbelieving, set on a precipice, his grip on his sword was so tight his hand was trembling. One thought stuck though Scarlet's head, /He's could kill us all./
Then his shoulders drooped and his gaze fixed on the floor. He sniffled.
All gazes focused on Sephiroth again, and inanely she found that the idea of Sephiroth bursting into tears was more frightening than death by his blade.
Suddenly he stood up and walked towards the President, eyes blank, unseeing. He scooted away as Sephiroth bent over and started going though his files.
Then he stood and plunked cross-legged into the closest overstuffed chair and began eating chocolates from the box he had found with his free hand. The gears were turning in his head, trying to sort himself out, fighting the rising tide of his emotions, to find a middle ground between rage and grief.
He still held Masamune in a tight hold, the inside curve pressing into the back of Heidegger's neck. He spit out the cherry cordial he had just bitten into, his face transforming into something horrible, he began to pull his arm back.
A small hand on the junction between his shoulder and neck stopped him, the touch was cold, but alive against his skin. Scarlet sat herself down in the seat between the two generals, a smile, oddly a sincere, on her face--after she glared at Palmer when he snuck up to steal Sephiroth's chocolates. "I'm sure Heidegger's sorry, /aren't/ you, Heidegger?"
The fat man in green nodded, his face pale behind his beard.
Scarlet gently began rubbing his skin, trying to calm him down, "A friend of mine got pregnant at once, her boyfriend banged her up then left her. She had a horrible time with the pregnancy and everything."
Sephiroth hunched his shoulder's but did not pull away or threaten anyone's life, he looked almost like a confused child, arm folded protectively over his stomach. His voice was beginning to sound almost shrill, "I'm turning into a /Blimp/! What if something happens to it? How am I going to do my work? What if I grow breasts? How is it going to come out? What are my men going to think of me? What if it's not hu--"
"Calm down, stress isn't good for the baby."
Sephiroth immediately quieted, almost all tension draining, or rather, forced, out of his body at once.
"Once my friend got past the morning sickness being pregnant, well," she shrugged, "it agreed with her, she was happy, maybe it'll be the same with you. Why don't you go to your quarters and take a nap, that should help, alright?" She smiled and patted his back when he stood up shakily. "I tell you what," She began, gently liberating the box of chocolates from his hands, "I'll send a box of chocolates and some ice-cream down, kay?"
Sephiroth's eyes widened and a small, but very happy smile, lit his face while he practically salivated, "Butterscotch pecan with pickles?"
She grinned at him, "Of course!" he nodded, bouncing on his toes, and almost, /almost/, began skipping before restraining himself to walking--albeit with a certain bounce to his step.
Silence still reigned as the door slid shut. Scarlet was the only one that dared to breath and she pulled a piece of paper and a pen out of the desk and began writing a note while she reached for the phone with her other hand. Hunching her shoulder to hold the phone to her ear she continued and dialed her office number.
"Hey Sal? Look I have a couple of errands that need to be done yesterday, this is life and death. First things first, send someone out to buy..." She paused for a moment, considering, "Three boxes of chocolates, see if you can find ones *without* cherries in them, three boxes of truffles, and a box of pecan turtles for a total of seven, got that? Ok, now, an extra large jar of gourmet pickles, and an extra large jar of peanut butter, make that two, one creamy one extra crunchy. And two pints of Jen and Harry's ice cream, butterscotch pecan and...Rocky Road." She signed her name and folded the note in half, "In the mean time send someone up to the President's office to get a note, then I want everything, note, chocolates, ice-cream, everything, with a bow, in a basket delivered to Sephiroth's front door--make sure it's given to him directly! ...Yes I did say 'Sephiroth,' no this isn't a joke, hurry!" She hung up and sat back in the chair Sephiroth had occupied last, folding her arms as everyone stared at her. "Well? Isn't anyone going to do anything? I just saved your lives."
President Shin-ra was not a man that could inspire loyalty or devotion, but he was a reasonably intelligent man, and a rich one at that. He knew that he couldn't do these things, thus he surrounded himself with people whom he perceived could have their loyalty bought. No one could out bid him with Gil, but a snub could drive someone away, and more money would have to be spent to bring them back. President Shinra knew this, and with this in mind he spoke, "Heidegger, I'm docking you pay for a month, Scarlet, you're getting his pay." Before Heidegger could complain he turned his attention elsewhere, "Hojo! I've been around pregnant woman before, and they are /nowhere/ near," he point to the door Sephiroth had exited from, "anything like that! Explain, NOW!"
"Er... Well, that's just it."
"That's. Just. What?"
"He's not a a pregnant human female; he's pregnant half alien male." Palmer gave him a blank look. /Note to self, take blood samples from various people and compare to monsters to determine if the Cetra bred outside their species to produce individuals such as Palmer./ He dumped it down, "Sephiroth is not a pregnant normal girl, he's a pregnant alien," he resisted the urge to add in an explanation of the word 'alien,' "Guy."
Palmer made an 'Ohhh' look, nodded, and promptly turned his attention back to the chocolates he was trying to filch.
"DNA is like the blueprint for our bodies, but it has two parts and in the most simplistic of views where they match up that's what you look like. Females, girls," he glared at the back of Palmer's head, "have two X 'blueprints' while males have an X and a Y 'blueprint.' Technically the male body has all the information needed to produce a child, the instincts, the chemical reactions, but they are just 'cut off' by the Y blueprint."
Palmer looked at Scarlet then down at his chest, then repeated the movement again. He started poking himself in the chest with one pudgy finger.
Hojo fought the urge to sneer, "My best guess is that the Jenova part of him if doing this on it's own, but the body is reporting that he is pregnant, resulting in the generation of hormones typical of a pregnant female, while his body, in addition, produces normal levels of other hormones. And then there's the backlash. Say he mood-swings then he gets angry, which results in even more hormones, such as testosterone, being produced."
Scarlet chipped in dryly, glaring out the corner of her eye at Heidigger, "So keep him happy, don't hurt his feelings in otherwords."
"Yes."
in progress betaing
Author's Note:
In this chapter there is the explination of how Sephy dearest can get preggers as well as a hats off to Twig, tell me if you can spot it.
Also, dumb Palmer, /STUPID/ Suicidal Heidegger, and Nice Scarlet
Enjoy.
Part Two
The executives of Shin-ra inc. were a bit confused as to why a meeting was called, by Hojo of all people, with Sephiroth in attendance. Everyone knew that Sephiroth abhorred the creepy old man, but beyond that the two of them never attended meetings they weren't required for because they had no interest in the company or in money.
But no one was worried. They owned the world, nothing could go wrong.
However they were severely weirded out when they entered and Sephiroth dropped into his chair, pulled his knees to his chest with his ankles crossed, /hugged/ himself and looked utterly dejected and miserable with laying his head on top of his knees.
Hojo launched his attack, "As you may or may not know, Sephiroth was an experiment..."
Sephiroth tuned it out. He /was/ miserable and dejected. After Hojo had explained himself he had chased him around the lab with his Masamune as the scientist shouted out explanations. Said Jenova was Cetra, Ancient, Sephiroth had countered by saying that humans were their descendants and human males did not get...He shut himself away from the memory. He had destroyed a lot of glassware when that--*Jerk* mentioned that it might really be an it, a monster.
He sighed, a twinge of sad guilt tugging at his heart, /Those poor test tubes./
Scarlet was the first to loose her patients, "Get to the point Hojo!"
The professor sighed, "Sephiroth is, in a word, pregnant."
"WHAT?!"
Sephiroth closed his eyes.
"The Jenova specimen can regenerate spontaneously at will and not by instinct. Sephiroth shares many of her traits. But Jenova had wanted it, how it could happen spontaneously in..."
Sephiroth thought back, letting Hojo's annoying voice drift out of his consciousness.
=Begin Flashback=
"I wish we could have children, I know it's important to you and your family... I mean we can get married, but...Wishful thinking I know. I don't even want a kid, even though I do in an odd way. It doesn't make any sense but we're both drunk, thank you for joining me, I hate it when I have to get shots from 'the good doctor' and this time he even gave me the wrong injection and I'm rambling but I don--"
He kissed his cheek, "Don't worry about it, I was happy to join you and Hojo is an idiot. If my town and family are in that big of an uproar we'll adopt, if they aren't, they we won't, in either case we won't unless we both, or all three of us if we can get him to join us, agree on it--but a child would be nice. And it's not 'we can' it's 'we will' as soon we can get that stupid regulation changed or one of us resigns."
Sephiroth sighed. "Besides, I'd make a horrible father."
He grinned, "Who said anything about you being the daddy, you'd make a better mommy." And with that he took on the duties of the husband to his wife.
=End Flashback=
Sephiroth was dragged out of his sweet memory by these words, "--Child would make an excellent specimen--"
The next instant, before another syllable could be uttered Sephiroth was up, Masamune in one hand, Hojo's neck in the other, pinning the creepy little man to the table. His eyes blazed, pupils contracted to literal pinpoints. "You are NOT touching my baby!!! Or so help me I'll feed you your toes, and sell your mutilated feet on Wallmarket as ashtrays!"
He held up his hands and croaked something that sounded like "Alright." and Sephiroth let him up.
There was a minor buzz of conversation going around him, but a few things stuck out.
"I hope he doesn't intended to give birth au natural."
"--Can't. Remember Hojo said it wasn't in his digestive track anymore."
"Do you--Cesarean section?"
"--think so"
"What I want to know is who the hell is the Father!"
"He's just a stupid uke, how's he supposed to know who the father is?"
Dead silence. Heidegger attempted to fold his arms over his fat little body and looked bitter while nearly everyone else in the room stared at him in utter shock. Scarlet however focused her gaze on Sephiroth.
His eyes were huge, disbelieving, set on a precipice, his grip on his sword was so tight his hand was trembling. One thought stuck though Scarlet's head, /He's could kill us all./
Then his shoulders drooped and his gaze fixed on the floor. He sniffled.
All gazes focused on Sephiroth again, and inanely she found that the idea of Sephiroth bursting into tears was more frightening than death by his blade.
Suddenly he stood up and walked towards the President, eyes blank, unseeing. He scooted away as Sephiroth bent over and started going though his files.
Then he stood and plunked cross-legged into the closest overstuffed chair and began eating chocolates from the box he had found with his free hand. The gears were turning in his head, trying to sort himself out, fighting the rising tide of his emotions, to find a middle ground between rage and grief.
He still held Masamune in a tight hold, the inside curve pressing into the back of Heidegger's neck. He spit out the cherry cordial he had just bitten into, his face transforming into something horrible, he began to pull his arm back.
A small hand on the junction between his shoulder and neck stopped him, the touch was cold, but alive against his skin. Scarlet sat herself down in the seat between the two generals, a smile, oddly a sincere, on her face--after she glared at Palmer when he snuck up to steal Sephiroth's chocolates. "I'm sure Heidegger's sorry, /aren't/ you, Heidegger?"
The fat man in green nodded, his face pale behind his beard.
Scarlet gently began rubbing his skin, trying to calm him down, "A friend of mine got pregnant at once, her boyfriend banged her up then left her. She had a horrible time with the pregnancy and everything."
Sephiroth hunched his shoulder's but did not pull away or threaten anyone's life, he looked almost like a confused child, arm folded protectively over his stomach. His voice was beginning to sound almost shrill, "I'm turning into a /Blimp/! What if something happens to it? How am I going to do my work? What if I grow breasts? How is it going to come out? What are my men going to think of me? What if it's not hu--"
"Calm down, stress isn't good for the baby."
Sephiroth immediately quieted, almost all tension draining, or rather, forced, out of his body at once.
"Once my friend got past the morning sickness being pregnant, well," she shrugged, "it agreed with her, she was happy, maybe it'll be the same with you. Why don't you go to your quarters and take a nap, that should help, alright?" She smiled and patted his back when he stood up shakily. "I tell you what," She began, gently liberating the box of chocolates from his hands, "I'll send a box of chocolates and some ice-cream down, kay?"
Sephiroth's eyes widened and a small, but very happy smile, lit his face while he practically salivated, "Butterscotch pecan with pickles?"
She grinned at him, "Of course!" he nodded, bouncing on his toes, and almost, /almost/, began skipping before restraining himself to walking--albeit with a certain bounce to his step.
Silence still reigned as the door slid shut. Scarlet was the only one that dared to breath and she pulled a piece of paper and a pen out of the desk and began writing a note while she reached for the phone with her other hand. Hunching her shoulder to hold the phone to her ear she continued and dialed her office number.
"Hey Sal? Look I have a couple of errands that need to be done yesterday, this is life and death. First things first, send someone out to buy..." She paused for a moment, considering, "Three boxes of chocolates, see if you can find ones *without* cherries in them, three boxes of truffles, and a box of pecan turtles for a total of seven, got that? Ok, now, an extra large jar of gourmet pickles, and an extra large jar of peanut butter, make that two, one creamy one extra crunchy. And two pints of Jen and Harry's ice cream, butterscotch pecan and...Rocky Road." She signed her name and folded the note in half, "In the mean time send someone up to the President's office to get a note, then I want everything, note, chocolates, ice-cream, everything, with a bow, in a basket delivered to Sephiroth's front door--make sure it's given to him directly! ...Yes I did say 'Sephiroth,' no this isn't a joke, hurry!" She hung up and sat back in the chair Sephiroth had occupied last, folding her arms as everyone stared at her. "Well? Isn't anyone going to do anything? I just saved your lives."
President Shin-ra was not a man that could inspire loyalty or devotion, but he was a reasonably intelligent man, and a rich one at that. He knew that he couldn't do these things, thus he surrounded himself with people whom he perceived could have their loyalty bought. No one could out bid him with Gil, but a snub could drive someone away, and more money would have to be spent to bring them back. President Shinra knew this, and with this in mind he spoke, "Heidegger, I'm docking you pay for a month, Scarlet, you're getting his pay." Before Heidegger could complain he turned his attention elsewhere, "Hojo! I've been around pregnant woman before, and they are /nowhere/ near," he point to the door Sephiroth had exited from, "anything like that! Explain, NOW!"
"Er... Well, that's just it."
"That's. Just. What?"
"He's not a a pregnant human female; he's pregnant half alien male." Palmer gave him a blank look. /Note to self, take blood samples from various people and compare to monsters to determine if the Cetra bred outside their species to produce individuals such as Palmer./ He dumped it down, "Sephiroth is not a pregnant normal girl, he's a pregnant alien," he resisted the urge to add in an explanation of the word 'alien,' "Guy."
Palmer made an 'Ohhh' look, nodded, and promptly turned his attention back to the chocolates he was trying to filch.
"DNA is like the blueprint for our bodies, but it has two parts and in the most simplistic of views where they match up that's what you look like. Females, girls," he glared at the back of Palmer's head, "have two X 'blueprints' while males have an X and a Y 'blueprint.' Technically the male body has all the information needed to produce a child, the instincts, the chemical reactions, but they are just 'cut off' by the Y blueprint."
Palmer looked at Scarlet then down at his chest, then repeated the movement again. He started poking himself in the chest with one pudgy finger.
Hojo fought the urge to sneer, "My best guess is that the Jenova part of him if doing this on it's own, but the body is reporting that he is pregnant, resulting in the generation of hormones typical of a pregnant female, while his body, in addition, produces normal levels of other hormones. And then there's the backlash. Say he mood-swings then he gets angry, which results in even more hormones, such as testosterone, being produced."
Scarlet chipped in dryly, glaring out the corner of her eye at Heidigger, "So keep him happy, don't hurt his feelings in otherwords."
"Yes."