"Once upon a time, there lived a furry man whose name was Harry. He was
called Harry because he was hairy! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAAHHAAAAAAAAA! HA!!!
THAT WAS A GOOD JOKE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!! Oh god, I think I
busted something. I laughed pretty darn hard there. Whoooo. okay, anyways..
I was on my way to the store, when a man comes up to me and says:
"Sir, how would you feel about a sex change?" And I said:
"Well, I dunno." And the next thing I know, I'm in Switzerland, getting'
the 'chop'!"
"Wow, Professor McGonagall that was a neat story. Now maybe could you teach us something?" Asked Neville Longbottom.
"SHUT UP YOU STUPID, DISEASED, FROG LOVING TURD!" and Professor McGonagall hit him with a large stick.
"So your name used to be Mike?" Hermione queried.
"Yes, I was in a magical motorcycle gang in Ireland. We called ourselves, the Hocus Pokers. Yeah, we were HOT! I used to have one NICE BOD!!!" Professor McGonagall flexed a weak old-lady arm and gave out a long, low whistle. The audience, with the exception of Neville, who was out cold on the floor, was in awe of her awesome, old-lady MIGHT.
Suddenly, a shadow blocked the doorway. A greasy man sauntered in strutting like an old west cowboy.
"Yes, Professor Snape, what is it?" Snapped Old lady McGonagall.
"I just wanted to borrow your door knob for a moment."
"Well, whatever you wish, just make it snappy, I was just about to tell the children my stories about the KKK."
The class was then in awe to see Professor Snape confess his undying love to the doorknob whose name was apparently snookers.
"Oh, my sweet, sweet doorknob lover! I love you! I've always loved you! I need to have you as my own. MY ONE AND ONLY!!! I know you, Snookers; everybody can't keep their hands off you (especially if they want to open the door.. But that's beside the point!) I want you! Your round, curvy shininess is more than I can STAND!!! Please, be mine and live with me forever!!" He then proceeded to remove the hinges from the door and scurry away.
After hearing this outburst, Professor McGonagall carried on telling the students wonderful mystifying stories about a transvestite named Petey the Wonder Boy, who worked for the circus and twisted himself into many interesting shapes.
THE END
No flames please! PLEASE???? I'll love you forever!
"Wow, Professor McGonagall that was a neat story. Now maybe could you teach us something?" Asked Neville Longbottom.
"SHUT UP YOU STUPID, DISEASED, FROG LOVING TURD!" and Professor McGonagall hit him with a large stick.
"So your name used to be Mike?" Hermione queried.
"Yes, I was in a magical motorcycle gang in Ireland. We called ourselves, the Hocus Pokers. Yeah, we were HOT! I used to have one NICE BOD!!!" Professor McGonagall flexed a weak old-lady arm and gave out a long, low whistle. The audience, with the exception of Neville, who was out cold on the floor, was in awe of her awesome, old-lady MIGHT.
Suddenly, a shadow blocked the doorway. A greasy man sauntered in strutting like an old west cowboy.
"Yes, Professor Snape, what is it?" Snapped Old lady McGonagall.
"I just wanted to borrow your door knob for a moment."
"Well, whatever you wish, just make it snappy, I was just about to tell the children my stories about the KKK."
The class was then in awe to see Professor Snape confess his undying love to the doorknob whose name was apparently snookers.
"Oh, my sweet, sweet doorknob lover! I love you! I've always loved you! I need to have you as my own. MY ONE AND ONLY!!! I know you, Snookers; everybody can't keep their hands off you (especially if they want to open the door.. But that's beside the point!) I want you! Your round, curvy shininess is more than I can STAND!!! Please, be mine and live with me forever!!" He then proceeded to remove the hinges from the door and scurry away.
After hearing this outburst, Professor McGonagall carried on telling the students wonderful mystifying stories about a transvestite named Petey the Wonder Boy, who worked for the circus and twisted himself into many interesting shapes.
THE END
No flames please! PLEASE???? I'll love you forever!