If ~ By Crimson Sun



If I poured my heart out, who would listen?

If I sat in darkness, who would see?

If I cried alone, you wouldn't waver,

You wouldn't speak, my love; not to me.

~

If I curled up inside, would you care?

If I should never sing, would you still hear me?

If I pushed you away in my anger,

Would you reserve a time to console me?

~

By myself is what I'll forever be

Contained in this everlasting misery

Go on; go join HIM in the light

Just remember me as the moonless night

~

If I told you that I loved you, would you stay?

If you pitied me, would you embrace me?

If I were misunderstood, you won't defend my case

It's all too late now, don't you see?

~

If I killed for love, would you forgive me?

If my tears dried up, would you still know my pain?

If I was petrified, unable to express emotions,

Then, my love, would you help keep me sane?

~

Because by myself is what I ended up to be

You could have spared me this misery

I said 'go on'; you joined HIM in the light

But never turned back, you never turned back

~

I poured my heart out, no one listened

I sat in darkness, no one saw

I cried alone, beyond comfort

You spoke no words...

~

I should see to it that you spoke no more

("..........I am even beginning to hate myself.")

~

AN: If you were confused throughout the poem, and the last line, a quote from the game, did nothing to clarify, then here I will tell you.

This is dedicated to the one and only professor HOJO. I mentioned I was a very big fanatic of him somewhere, some when in my profile, if anyone bothered to check.

This is not supposed to rhyme, and the flow is more than weird. It is not fluent, there is no rhythm, I know. If there were, it would destroy my train of thought.

I just thought that Hojo deserved something. It must be very hard to be hated by all.

I noticed there were not many Hojo poems, not to mention Hojo-based fictions on this site. In fact...the only good Hojo poem seems to be the one called 'Life' by Drakonlily. That is a disappointing number.

Hojo is referring to Lucrecia (as much as I want him to refer to me, that is quite impossible, of course.) when he says 'my love', and 'you', etc. And HIM is obviously Vincent, neh?

I apologize for the girly quality of this poem. But being the kind of person I am, I cannot help it.