[A/N: YaY! Love the reviews. ^.^ Thanks so much to everyone who takes the time to read my stuff. (oh, putting a characters thoughts are placed inbetween '/'s, cuz it's my own lil style ^.^) well, read on and enjoy! :D ]
Tifa didn't sleep at all that night. After standing by her beloved Cloud for what seemed like hours, he finally gently pushed her away and left the room. Where he went, she didn't know, and why he left was just as ambiguous. She wanted so much to follow him and make sure he was alright, but at the same time, she knew that if she did, she would just be getting in his way.
She lay there, awake and disconcerted, all night and morning long, staring unblinking at the blank ceiling. Waiting for Cloud's return. Her heart was churning in her chest, painfully making it's worried presence know. Her mind was just as tormented, as she silently prayed for his safe return. Or at least, just a return at all.
As the sun began to rise, her heart began to sink even deeper into despair. She sat up, worry and distress plastered plainly over her lovely features, her hair tasseled from restlessness. She peered around the once dark room, and for the thousandth time that night, slipped out from under the agitating comfort of the blankets. Pulling on a warm robe, she walked downstairs and past the kitchen, hoping to see the form of her companion.
She walked through the dining room/bar, and could hear the echoes of her memory from the recent past. In this room, herself and everyone else who were proudly known as AVALANCHE, had gotten together over beer and Tifa's own cooking to keep old times in touch. They often laughed, a thing they were not able to do very much before. They were easy to relax, now that everything was under control, and peace had finally settled.
But that warm feeling was no where within Tifa anymore as she searched for Cloud. She finally crept into the living room, to see him sitting, rather uncomfortably, on the large, roomy couch. He was bent forward, his elbows rested on his knees, as his chin lay in his open palms. His Mako drenched eyes were rigid, and judging by the dark rings around his eyes, he had slept just as less as Tifa had.
Tifa softly made her way to his bent form and kneeled down in front of him, gently placing a soft hand on his knee. Concern was written in her eyes as her forehead wrinkled, displaying her apprehensive eyes.
"Cloud?" Her voice came out, hardly above a whisper.
His eyes were trained in a straightforward glance, in a forever unending gaze of deep thought.
"Cloud, are you alright?"
No answer.
"Please Cloud, if there is anything I can do.." She paused, speculating his every breath in case of a reply.
Still nothing.
"I'm here for you. Please.. If there is anything I can do.."
She waited for a moment, searching his complexion for any kind of answer. But he was blank, in every way shape and form. Completely unreadable.
Tifa sighed and looked down. Reluctantly, she pulled her hand away and stood up, feeling the blood rush back down through her body from her earlier crouched position. She walked to the kitchen, shaking off the muscle cramps that threatened to take over. She hadn't the need to fight much any more, so her muscles were losing their rough edge. The lack of sleep hadn't helped, either.
Moving only his eyes, Cloud peered at her retreating form. He instantly felt a pang of regret strike his heart as he so cruelly blew her off. He knew she was concerned, but she didn't know what he was feeling. He buried his face in his hands. Those dreams were destroying him, yet, he didn't know if he wanted them to stop, all the same.
Entering the kitchen, she promptly set herself to making some hot mint tea, and some warm breakfast sandwiches. To her misfortune, it took only a few minutes to prepare as she was hoping to pass some time, hoping that when she appeared, Cloud would be alright again, and that he'd warmly embrace her as he always had.
She walked back out to the living room, only to find Cloud gone, once again. She placed his plate down on the coffee table which sat before where he once sat, then carefully balanced his mug of mint tea next to it, in case he came back. She sat slowly next to where he would have been, and sipped at her own mug of tea. It was perfect.. Yet sickeningly sweet to her tongue. She set it down roughly, and took a couple tender nibbles of her sandwich. Also cooked to perfection.. Yet perfectly bland to her senses. She tossed the sandwich back to it's plate, then sat back against the cushion of the couch.
Time floated by, and Tifa's mind reeled. She couldn't stand the harsh, cold silence that now surrounded her. Just as she was about to stand up, the back door opened, lifting a sudden cold draft of fresh air around her. Just as soon as it opened, it had slammed shut. Cloud's heavy footsteps sounded almost angry as he made his way to the living room once again. He stopped in surprise to see Tifa on the couch, her eyes widely gaping at him, yearning for some kind of attention. He eyed the untouched food placed neatly on the coffee table, obviously made for him, and then at Tifa's nearly untouched food, which was carelessly situated in a pile before her.
He looked away, somewhat ashamed, and brisked into the kitchen. Tifa sighed in defeat, as she heard the sound of a refrigerator door opening, followed by a tin can opening, the fizz of soda eminent in the air.
/He won't even accept what I make for him../
Cloud's footsteps then led him to the bar room, where he sat down on his favorite, dark blue bar stool. It was salvaged from what was left of her bar in Midgar, along with some of the other items in the bar. It was his favorite place to be, because it was filled with Tifa's presence. She had made this room with great pride, and this is where AVALANCHE held most of there current meetings. (All consisting of merely fun and talk, and just being together for the sake of being alive.)
They often played card games in here, along with anything else they could think to do. Cloud smiled softly to himself, cradling his soda can, as he remembered some of the good times in here. It was where memories were made. New memories of happiness, and joy.
He was just about to stand and find Tifa to apologize, when suddenly he remembered his dreams. He hesitated, and sat down again, at first fighting the thought, but soon subdued and let it take over his mind. He let the images of the young maiden's face envelope him, as she smiled softly, and reached a hand tenderly in his direction.
/Why can't you leave me alone?!/ He thought, contemptuously. Then his mind relaxed as she flashed her smile again. How could he get angry at someone so innocent and angelic? So beautiful? He laid his head down on the bar in defeat.
"Aeris.. Where are you?" He whispered softly, wishing things would be as they once were, wishing he would stop being haunted by these vivid dreams.
.x.x.x.
Tifa closed her eyes and slid slowly down the wall until her body rested in a petite pile on the floor. She had peered in on Cloud just as he uttered those last words, and they struck her heart like an oversized, poison drenched arrow. The air around her seemed to grown heavy, and her lungs labored for breath. She hesitantly stood and made her way for their room, trying to be as quiet as possible.
Once there, she silently locked the door, and laid upon her bed, finally letting the damned tears flow. She cried silently into her pillow, not wanting to be heard.
Her mind's wheel began turning ruefully and mercilessly, presenting to her all the possible truths. /So he does still love Aeris../ She sighed. /I wonder if all this time... He could be out finding her.. But I'm holding him back. All this time I've been trying to help, when really I'm just hurting him more by keeping him cooped up here. That's why he wouldn't tell me anything../ Tifa's tears flowed a little harder as these horrible thoughts ravaged her mind. /I was happy.. And I thought he was happy too.. But I guess I was just lying to myself to keep what we had pure../
For hours she sobbed, and for ages her mind tormented her. She felt horrible. She placed Cloud's torment on herself, voluntarily taking the blame, accepting it as truth. She thought thoroughly of what she would do. She thought of what she could say to Cloud, but nothing of justice came to mind. All she wanted was for him to be happy, no matter what the cost to herself. He had been through so much already..
She finally came to one conclusion. She would tell him to go find his Aeris, and wish him the best of luck. Then, she would perish. She knew that once he found Aeris, he would be truly happy, forever, and with herself gone, Cloud would no longer have to worry about Tifa's feelings. He would be free, and he would be happy.
She slowly got to her feet, and started packing some necessities; her best pairs of fighting gloves, her favorite bits of materia (mostly all mastered by their long-ago travels) and her fighting outfit. She smiled sadly to herself. /Well, I guess I do need to brush up on my skills. How ironic./
While packing, she pondered on how she would present herself to Cloud. She practiced her fake smile, and how the words should flow out, warmly and nonchalantly, as if nothing at all was wrong. It hurt so bad on the inside, but she could never let it show. Though she tried, she always ended up breaking down. She shook her head and sighed deeply. /How can I even face him.. After all I've put him through../
She reached for a pen and paper. It was the cowardly way, but all her life she had to be nothing but optimistic. She had to be the backbone, the bright smile, the tough girl. But now no longer. She was tired of forcing a smile, playing a facade for everyone to feed off of. She was alone now, terribly alone, and terribly hurt. No one had even thought twice about her fears and struggles, only Cloud had.. But now he wasn't himself anymore, and now he didn't care. /It's all my fault, too. Heh.. How ironic./
Tifa quietly tip-toed downstairs, her professional eyes searching for any movement, her ears straining for the slightest sound. She pulled her pack full of supplies over her shoulders, clenching the piece of paper close to her. Carefully made her way over to the coffee table and laid the paper down next to Cloud's still untouched food, obviously cold by now. She grabbed her sandwich to eat along the way, welcoming the much needed nutrients for her much unplanned journey.
Taking one look back through the house, she slipped out the back door, with the ambition of never being seen again. Another tear slid down her soft, pale cheek, despite the fact that she promised she would never let another one fall. As the door closed, a draft of fresh air wafted in, lightly blowing the paper across the coffee table, where it thus landed in a small pool of the mint tea Tifa had so carelessly handled earlier that morning, obscuring some of her handwriting.
And to Cloud's complete oblivion, she was gone.
[A/N: Next chapter comin up soon! I was going to wait a couple days to send in this one, but I decided I couldn't take it. x.x Oh! And I saw LotRs:TT today!! O.O!!!! What an incredible movie!! Long live Legolas XD ]
Tifa didn't sleep at all that night. After standing by her beloved Cloud for what seemed like hours, he finally gently pushed her away and left the room. Where he went, she didn't know, and why he left was just as ambiguous. She wanted so much to follow him and make sure he was alright, but at the same time, she knew that if she did, she would just be getting in his way.
She lay there, awake and disconcerted, all night and morning long, staring unblinking at the blank ceiling. Waiting for Cloud's return. Her heart was churning in her chest, painfully making it's worried presence know. Her mind was just as tormented, as she silently prayed for his safe return. Or at least, just a return at all.
As the sun began to rise, her heart began to sink even deeper into despair. She sat up, worry and distress plastered plainly over her lovely features, her hair tasseled from restlessness. She peered around the once dark room, and for the thousandth time that night, slipped out from under the agitating comfort of the blankets. Pulling on a warm robe, she walked downstairs and past the kitchen, hoping to see the form of her companion.
She walked through the dining room/bar, and could hear the echoes of her memory from the recent past. In this room, herself and everyone else who were proudly known as AVALANCHE, had gotten together over beer and Tifa's own cooking to keep old times in touch. They often laughed, a thing they were not able to do very much before. They were easy to relax, now that everything was under control, and peace had finally settled.
But that warm feeling was no where within Tifa anymore as she searched for Cloud. She finally crept into the living room, to see him sitting, rather uncomfortably, on the large, roomy couch. He was bent forward, his elbows rested on his knees, as his chin lay in his open palms. His Mako drenched eyes were rigid, and judging by the dark rings around his eyes, he had slept just as less as Tifa had.
Tifa softly made her way to his bent form and kneeled down in front of him, gently placing a soft hand on his knee. Concern was written in her eyes as her forehead wrinkled, displaying her apprehensive eyes.
"Cloud?" Her voice came out, hardly above a whisper.
His eyes were trained in a straightforward glance, in a forever unending gaze of deep thought.
"Cloud, are you alright?"
No answer.
"Please Cloud, if there is anything I can do.." She paused, speculating his every breath in case of a reply.
Still nothing.
"I'm here for you. Please.. If there is anything I can do.."
She waited for a moment, searching his complexion for any kind of answer. But he was blank, in every way shape and form. Completely unreadable.
Tifa sighed and looked down. Reluctantly, she pulled her hand away and stood up, feeling the blood rush back down through her body from her earlier crouched position. She walked to the kitchen, shaking off the muscle cramps that threatened to take over. She hadn't the need to fight much any more, so her muscles were losing their rough edge. The lack of sleep hadn't helped, either.
Moving only his eyes, Cloud peered at her retreating form. He instantly felt a pang of regret strike his heart as he so cruelly blew her off. He knew she was concerned, but she didn't know what he was feeling. He buried his face in his hands. Those dreams were destroying him, yet, he didn't know if he wanted them to stop, all the same.
Entering the kitchen, she promptly set herself to making some hot mint tea, and some warm breakfast sandwiches. To her misfortune, it took only a few minutes to prepare as she was hoping to pass some time, hoping that when she appeared, Cloud would be alright again, and that he'd warmly embrace her as he always had.
She walked back out to the living room, only to find Cloud gone, once again. She placed his plate down on the coffee table which sat before where he once sat, then carefully balanced his mug of mint tea next to it, in case he came back. She sat slowly next to where he would have been, and sipped at her own mug of tea. It was perfect.. Yet sickeningly sweet to her tongue. She set it down roughly, and took a couple tender nibbles of her sandwich. Also cooked to perfection.. Yet perfectly bland to her senses. She tossed the sandwich back to it's plate, then sat back against the cushion of the couch.
Time floated by, and Tifa's mind reeled. She couldn't stand the harsh, cold silence that now surrounded her. Just as she was about to stand up, the back door opened, lifting a sudden cold draft of fresh air around her. Just as soon as it opened, it had slammed shut. Cloud's heavy footsteps sounded almost angry as he made his way to the living room once again. He stopped in surprise to see Tifa on the couch, her eyes widely gaping at him, yearning for some kind of attention. He eyed the untouched food placed neatly on the coffee table, obviously made for him, and then at Tifa's nearly untouched food, which was carelessly situated in a pile before her.
He looked away, somewhat ashamed, and brisked into the kitchen. Tifa sighed in defeat, as she heard the sound of a refrigerator door opening, followed by a tin can opening, the fizz of soda eminent in the air.
/He won't even accept what I make for him../
Cloud's footsteps then led him to the bar room, where he sat down on his favorite, dark blue bar stool. It was salvaged from what was left of her bar in Midgar, along with some of the other items in the bar. It was his favorite place to be, because it was filled with Tifa's presence. She had made this room with great pride, and this is where AVALANCHE held most of there current meetings. (All consisting of merely fun and talk, and just being together for the sake of being alive.)
They often played card games in here, along with anything else they could think to do. Cloud smiled softly to himself, cradling his soda can, as he remembered some of the good times in here. It was where memories were made. New memories of happiness, and joy.
He was just about to stand and find Tifa to apologize, when suddenly he remembered his dreams. He hesitated, and sat down again, at first fighting the thought, but soon subdued and let it take over his mind. He let the images of the young maiden's face envelope him, as she smiled softly, and reached a hand tenderly in his direction.
/Why can't you leave me alone?!/ He thought, contemptuously. Then his mind relaxed as she flashed her smile again. How could he get angry at someone so innocent and angelic? So beautiful? He laid his head down on the bar in defeat.
"Aeris.. Where are you?" He whispered softly, wishing things would be as they once were, wishing he would stop being haunted by these vivid dreams.
.x.x.x.
Tifa closed her eyes and slid slowly down the wall until her body rested in a petite pile on the floor. She had peered in on Cloud just as he uttered those last words, and they struck her heart like an oversized, poison drenched arrow. The air around her seemed to grown heavy, and her lungs labored for breath. She hesitantly stood and made her way for their room, trying to be as quiet as possible.
Once there, she silently locked the door, and laid upon her bed, finally letting the damned tears flow. She cried silently into her pillow, not wanting to be heard.
Her mind's wheel began turning ruefully and mercilessly, presenting to her all the possible truths. /So he does still love Aeris../ She sighed. /I wonder if all this time... He could be out finding her.. But I'm holding him back. All this time I've been trying to help, when really I'm just hurting him more by keeping him cooped up here. That's why he wouldn't tell me anything../ Tifa's tears flowed a little harder as these horrible thoughts ravaged her mind. /I was happy.. And I thought he was happy too.. But I guess I was just lying to myself to keep what we had pure../
For hours she sobbed, and for ages her mind tormented her. She felt horrible. She placed Cloud's torment on herself, voluntarily taking the blame, accepting it as truth. She thought thoroughly of what she would do. She thought of what she could say to Cloud, but nothing of justice came to mind. All she wanted was for him to be happy, no matter what the cost to herself. He had been through so much already..
She finally came to one conclusion. She would tell him to go find his Aeris, and wish him the best of luck. Then, she would perish. She knew that once he found Aeris, he would be truly happy, forever, and with herself gone, Cloud would no longer have to worry about Tifa's feelings. He would be free, and he would be happy.
She slowly got to her feet, and started packing some necessities; her best pairs of fighting gloves, her favorite bits of materia (mostly all mastered by their long-ago travels) and her fighting outfit. She smiled sadly to herself. /Well, I guess I do need to brush up on my skills. How ironic./
While packing, she pondered on how she would present herself to Cloud. She practiced her fake smile, and how the words should flow out, warmly and nonchalantly, as if nothing at all was wrong. It hurt so bad on the inside, but she could never let it show. Though she tried, she always ended up breaking down. She shook her head and sighed deeply. /How can I even face him.. After all I've put him through../
She reached for a pen and paper. It was the cowardly way, but all her life she had to be nothing but optimistic. She had to be the backbone, the bright smile, the tough girl. But now no longer. She was tired of forcing a smile, playing a facade for everyone to feed off of. She was alone now, terribly alone, and terribly hurt. No one had even thought twice about her fears and struggles, only Cloud had.. But now he wasn't himself anymore, and now he didn't care. /It's all my fault, too. Heh.. How ironic./
Tifa quietly tip-toed downstairs, her professional eyes searching for any movement, her ears straining for the slightest sound. She pulled her pack full of supplies over her shoulders, clenching the piece of paper close to her. Carefully made her way over to the coffee table and laid the paper down next to Cloud's still untouched food, obviously cold by now. She grabbed her sandwich to eat along the way, welcoming the much needed nutrients for her much unplanned journey.
Taking one look back through the house, she slipped out the back door, with the ambition of never being seen again. Another tear slid down her soft, pale cheek, despite the fact that she promised she would never let another one fall. As the door closed, a draft of fresh air wafted in, lightly blowing the paper across the coffee table, where it thus landed in a small pool of the mint tea Tifa had so carelessly handled earlier that morning, obscuring some of her handwriting.
And to Cloud's complete oblivion, she was gone.
[A/N: Next chapter comin up soon! I was going to wait a couple days to send in this one, but I decided I couldn't take it. x.x Oh! And I saw LotRs:TT today!! O.O!!!! What an incredible movie!! Long live Legolas XD ]