[A/N: Alright people, one more chapter after this and it's the end. I should be finished typing it up within a couple days, so expect to see it *soon* :D Thanks to EVERYONE who has read and/or reviewed, you'll always have a place in my lil story writing heart :D welp, enjoy the reading ^.^ ]
[oh, oh, little side note here: The '~*~*~*~' signifies a flashback, okie? okie ^.^ v Read on!]
..x.x.x.x.x..
Tifa kept her eyes on the ground as she clung on to the back of Cloud, while atop his gold chocobo, Matrix. He was headed north, and with fierce determination. When he had mentioned Aeris' name in the hallway not too long ago, she had felt as if an anvil had fallen onto her heart. She couldn't respond, didn't know what to say. All she knew was that Cloud had taken a hold of her hand and was quickly rushing her out the door, proclaiming "Hurry! I've got to get back to her before I lose her forever."
/I had gotten my hopes up too high. I should have known.. I thought he was finally going to be happy with me.. But I was wrong. I guess my love's just not good enough./ She refused to cry, not wanting Cloud to see her in such a weak state, and not wanting him to see the pain she was in. She didn't want him coming back to her just because he pitied her. /No, I've got to stay strong. At least... until he finally leaves with her./
When Cid and the others had asked where they were going, Cloud simply told them with a smile that he was going to the Chocobo Sage to get some more greens for the famished Matrix. Cid offered to take them on the HighWind, that it would be much faster, yet Cloud turned him down again, stating modestly that he wanted some time alone with Tifa. Cid smiled and waved a goodbye at that moment, shouting that he'd see the two later, in about 3 years after he'd made up for his lost sleep.
Cloud's ambiguity confused Tifa, yet his behavior made perfect sense as well. /He doesn't want the others to ridicule him for leaving me, and he's only taking me because it's probably going to be our last time together. He'll apologize, tell me that he'll always have a spot for me in his heart, and then disappear from my life forever./
Tifa tightened her grip around Cloud's chest and laid her head against his back, already feeling the pain stinging at her heart. /Why am I just sitting here like this? I should demand to know why! Why after all this time is he leaving me for a dead girl?/ She took that comment back, not wishing to take her anger out on her dearly departed friend, Aeris. /After all we've been through, from Nibelheim to the Meteor.. Even through Sephiroth. I should tell him he can't go, that he can't leave me because -I- love him, and that I always have!/ Her fingers unconsciously gripped Cloud's shirt.
He furrowed his brows and took a quick glance back at her. "Tifa, you ok?"
She didn't hear him; she was too lost in thought. Her inner controversy was twisting inside of her mind like a violent storm. She felt as if she was caught on a tiny, lonely island in the middle of this horrid tempest. No matter which way she went, or how big of a bridge she built, she was doomed all around. /I can't just yell at him like that./ She sighed as she remembered his endless nights of torment. /I love him, but that doesn't mean he loves me the same way in return. He told me he did.. But since the return of Aeris, that's changed. I can't scorn him for something he doesn't -feel-.. That's the simple, unending strife of a locked heart./
Cloud pulled Matrix to a halt and turned to look at Tifa, who seemed deeply troubled. He had been too busy with his own inner turmoil to think of hers.. /Perhaps she doesn't want to be with me like this.. Maybe I should of let her stay with the others instead of dragging her along. Maybe it was against her will. Damnit, why do I let myself get so caught up in the moment like that?/
"Tifa," Cloud repeated himself with a hint of worry in his smooth voice. "Is everything ok?"
She couldn't bare to look up into his crystalline eyes. She remained huddled against his back, hugging him tightly. Cloud slipped one of his hands up and placed it on top of hers, comfortingly. "Cloud.. How... could you leave me like that.." She barely managed above a whisper.
Cloud felt his heart sink at the sound of her pained voice. Guilt was ridden all over him, and flourished in his mind. He tried to think of a response, not wanting her to feel as bad as she did. /And it's all my fault. But.. Aeris.. I... I don't know what to do.../
Giving up on anything to say, after a long moment of silence, Cloud brought Tifa's hand up to his lips and kissed it softly, whispering back to her, "I'm so sorry Tifa. I.. I don't know how to apologize enough." He wanted to explain everything about Aeris, about what she meant to him and how his feelings.. /No, I couldn't. It would just hurt her more, and I would just sound like I was making excuses./ He sighed heavily, slowly starting off Matrix again.
The air temperature began to drop as they neared the north. /Of course this is where she'd be. After all, this is where she died.. In the home of her people./ Tifa thought with a shiver. She was most definitely not dressed for this weather, and felt the chill in the air easily overwhelm her skin. She instinctively cuddled closer to Cloud for warmth.
After realizing Tifa's dilemma Cloud brought Matrix to another stop and got off, and without a word, climbed back on with Tifa in front of him, allowing him to wrap his arms around the young girl to keep her warm. /And just because I want to be close../ He thought, resting his chin on her bare shoulder. /I hope she doesn't mind../
Tifa, on the other hand, felt on the verge of tears. She pressed herself into him, straining for the last of his touch. As she looked ahead, she could see the large mountains of the North come to view over the horizon. Not long after the tall, tightly packed trees began to sprout into view. Tifa sighed, knowing that this was finally it. Oh, how she prayed this day would never come.. Yet here it was, and she was here to witness it right before her eyes. Ironically enough, it was such a beautiful place.
She hugged Cloud's arms around her, and with her last stable breath, she closed her eyes and whispered, "I love you Cloud."
The words struck his heart by surprise. He didn't expect them, least of all now, and found himself again overcome by guilt. Yet, he submitted to his true feelings, and with a brush of his lips to her soft cheek, he whispered in return, "I love you too, Tifa."
Tifa bit her lip to control her emotions. They wanted to flood out of her in every way possible. She wanted to hug and kiss him, yet at the same time wanted to hit or break something.
As Matrix finally stopped in front of Bone Village, the couple dismounted with an exhausted effort. Neither of them had slept in days.. Yet here they were, still pushing the limit. Possibly for the last time.
Cloud took Tifa's hand while keeping his arms around her, not for the sake of warmth, but to feel her next to him. He led her silently to the entrance of the Sleeping Forrest, taking slow, deliberate steps. He knew he was risking it by taking his time like this, but for the moment, it was well worth it.
He stopped her gently when he reached the entrance to the great, dark forest. He looked down at Tifa, who seemed to hold the greatest sadness in her eyes. He tried to smile for her, and took both of her hands in his facing her directly.
"Well, this is it, Tifa."
She didn't respond, only looking into his beautiful, ice blue eyes, mimicking his facade of a smile. She squeezed his hands.
"Do you want to go with, or, do you want to stay here?" He asked hesitantly. His words seemed to stick in his throat, as if he was supposed to really say something else, but he just didn't quite know what it was.
Tifa looked down at the ground, biting furiously at her lip, desperately hiding her emotions deep inside, as she had learned to do from Cloud. Only, she wasn't so good at masking it.
Cloud sighed deeply, then took her face in his hands and kissed her softly. Inside, all he could think about was if Aeris was still there. /God, I hope I made it in time.. I hope it's not too late../
He turned to start leaving, feeling the urgency of making it back to his flower girl, when small hands suddenly darted forward to grab his arm. He turned back in surprise to see Tifa's moist, pleading eyes. A silent tear slid down her soft, lovely cheek from those darkly burdened crimson eyes.
"Cloud, please.. don't go."
He could hear the soft sobs in her voice, and how she desperately tried to hold them inside.
He quickly threw his arms around her, pulling her petite body close to his. She embraced him back, hugging him just as hard while burying her face in his strong neck. He softly stroked her hair, feeling the strong urge to protect her from any harm, physical and emotional.
"Tifa.." He started, feeling his own words choke in his throat. "I.. When I found Aeris a couple days ago, she told me that her time to stay here was running out. She told me about how, like her ancestors, she had to travel to the Promised Land. She told be about how lonely it is there and how sad she is, now that she's gone from me.. from us. She told me that she's able to bring one person that she deeply cared about with her, to the Promised Land, where happiness and fulfillment will be eternal. With her.. Who could refuse?"
Cloud pulled away, just the slightest, to gaze into Tifa's tearful, wine colored eyes. Already she had accepted this fate. She had figured these events out long ago, and had already locked her heart to it. Cloud smiled, suddenly realizing what had been causing her so much pain. He had been too consumed with Aeris to ever see...
"Tifa, she asked me to come with her." He looked down sadly, guilt written all over his handsome face. His eyelids drooped with a heaviness she had never seen before, and his lips curved in a troubled frown.
Tifa only smiled sadly up at him, already having accepted this. She reached up tenderly to touch his cheek and gently moved a strand of hair from his moist forehead. The pain was clear in her voice. "It's alright Cloud, I know. I understand."
Cloud slowly shook his head in disagreement.
"No, Tifa. I chose to stay with you."
She merely blinked several times, feeling her heart open up and flourish yet again. A single fresh tear fell forward from her beautiful eyes, reflecting the first stars of twilight. She could hardly comprehend what he had said.
"W..what?"
"The answer was simple, and already locked into my heart. I can't leave you behind, you're my world and sky. Here with you far transcends the Promised Land. With you is where I belong, Tifa."
Cloud could see the heavens within her eyes, and knew that finally he had set things straight, that finally he had told her what he should have long ago. As much as he wanted to stay and -show- her how much he loved her, he remembered that he had to hurry before Aeris disappeared forever.
~*~*~*~
"Besides, you still owe me that one date, remember? This one will just.. Take a while."
"Aeris.. My heart belongs to Tifa. It always has.. It's just.. Taken me a long time to realize that."
"Oh, I see.."
"I'm sorry, but I can't go. I need to stay and take care of her as she did for me. I hate to see you alone, but after all I've put Tifa through, I can't just abandon her like that. She's everything to me, and my heart won't give her up. Because of me.. She's gone. Nobody know's where she disappeared to, but I know it's because of my ignorance.. I need to find her, before something happens that I can't take back. If she's in trouble, then I can't just leave her behind."
"Well, at least... when you find her, come back here and tell me if everything is well. If you're happy here, Cloud, then I couldn't possibly ask you to leave. But I must urge you to hurry.."
"Aeris.."
"I'm really going to miss you."
"I already do."
"Okay, Cloud. Please be careful, and come back to me soon. I don't have much longer."
"I promise you, Aeris. As soon as I find her, I'll come back for you, before it's too late. I love you, Aeris.."
~*~*~*~*~
Cloud looked at Tifa, remembering what he had said when he found Aeris. /I can't be late now,/ He thought to himself.
"Tifa, I have to go see her again before she has to go. I'm sorry, I promised her I'd come back as soon as I found you.." Cloud searched her eyes for any sign of distress or sadness.
Tifa smiled up at him, feeling a complete reversal from moments before. She couldn't even put into words how her heart leapt to the heavens when he told her he wanted her, that he -needed- her. She just hugged him tightly, wishing she could stay there forever.
Hugging her back just as close, Cloud continued, "Do you want to come with?"
Tifa reluctantly declined. "No, Cloud. You deserve the time with her, after all you've been through."
"You've been through a lot too, you know." Cloud kissed her forehead.
"Don't worry about me right now. I'll be find. Just go find her, Cloud. Keep your promise, as you did for me." She let go of his warmth and stepped back.
Cloud smiled back at her one last time, then whispered, "Thank you, Tif.." And without another word, he disappeared into the darkening forest.
Tifa watched until the last sight of him faded away from view, then sat down, hugging her knees. She gazed up at the stars, her heart feeling as if a part of them. She felt happy, but still with a bit of worry for Cloud and Aeris. She felt bad for Aeris. One of them was going to be let down, and unfortunately for the Cetra, it was Aeris. /She get's to live in the Promised Land, though.. I'm -sure- she couldn't remain lonely for long. I hope not, anyways. What's paradise without the one you love?/
Tifa pondered back, and remembered the jet black spikes of Zack. /He had died, too. I wonder if Aeris can find him there... he's in the Life Stream, after all. Cloud only manifested Zack's personality into his own after the trauma with Shin-Ra../ She sighed in spite of herself. /I hope she finds him./
She was so deeply in thought that she didn't hear the pair of footsteps coming towards her from behind. Before she knew it, she was being grabbed by two rough hands, feeling all too familiar. She gasped.
..x.x.x.x.x..
[Alrighty people, one more to go. I'll post it soon, so keep an eye out ^.^ I'ma make it nice and fluffy :D so until the next chapter, see-ya laters ^.^ v and again, thanks SO much to you who review, *sniffs* you make me feel so warm and fuzzy inside. Please... review and tell me watcha think ^.^ ]
::waves:: hi!!
[oh, oh, little side note here: The '~*~*~*~' signifies a flashback, okie? okie ^.^ v Read on!]
..x.x.x.x.x..
Tifa kept her eyes on the ground as she clung on to the back of Cloud, while atop his gold chocobo, Matrix. He was headed north, and with fierce determination. When he had mentioned Aeris' name in the hallway not too long ago, she had felt as if an anvil had fallen onto her heart. She couldn't respond, didn't know what to say. All she knew was that Cloud had taken a hold of her hand and was quickly rushing her out the door, proclaiming "Hurry! I've got to get back to her before I lose her forever."
/I had gotten my hopes up too high. I should have known.. I thought he was finally going to be happy with me.. But I was wrong. I guess my love's just not good enough./ She refused to cry, not wanting Cloud to see her in such a weak state, and not wanting him to see the pain she was in. She didn't want him coming back to her just because he pitied her. /No, I've got to stay strong. At least... until he finally leaves with her./
When Cid and the others had asked where they were going, Cloud simply told them with a smile that he was going to the Chocobo Sage to get some more greens for the famished Matrix. Cid offered to take them on the HighWind, that it would be much faster, yet Cloud turned him down again, stating modestly that he wanted some time alone with Tifa. Cid smiled and waved a goodbye at that moment, shouting that he'd see the two later, in about 3 years after he'd made up for his lost sleep.
Cloud's ambiguity confused Tifa, yet his behavior made perfect sense as well. /He doesn't want the others to ridicule him for leaving me, and he's only taking me because it's probably going to be our last time together. He'll apologize, tell me that he'll always have a spot for me in his heart, and then disappear from my life forever./
Tifa tightened her grip around Cloud's chest and laid her head against his back, already feeling the pain stinging at her heart. /Why am I just sitting here like this? I should demand to know why! Why after all this time is he leaving me for a dead girl?/ She took that comment back, not wishing to take her anger out on her dearly departed friend, Aeris. /After all we've been through, from Nibelheim to the Meteor.. Even through Sephiroth. I should tell him he can't go, that he can't leave me because -I- love him, and that I always have!/ Her fingers unconsciously gripped Cloud's shirt.
He furrowed his brows and took a quick glance back at her. "Tifa, you ok?"
She didn't hear him; she was too lost in thought. Her inner controversy was twisting inside of her mind like a violent storm. She felt as if she was caught on a tiny, lonely island in the middle of this horrid tempest. No matter which way she went, or how big of a bridge she built, she was doomed all around. /I can't just yell at him like that./ She sighed as she remembered his endless nights of torment. /I love him, but that doesn't mean he loves me the same way in return. He told me he did.. But since the return of Aeris, that's changed. I can't scorn him for something he doesn't -feel-.. That's the simple, unending strife of a locked heart./
Cloud pulled Matrix to a halt and turned to look at Tifa, who seemed deeply troubled. He had been too busy with his own inner turmoil to think of hers.. /Perhaps she doesn't want to be with me like this.. Maybe I should of let her stay with the others instead of dragging her along. Maybe it was against her will. Damnit, why do I let myself get so caught up in the moment like that?/
"Tifa," Cloud repeated himself with a hint of worry in his smooth voice. "Is everything ok?"
She couldn't bare to look up into his crystalline eyes. She remained huddled against his back, hugging him tightly. Cloud slipped one of his hands up and placed it on top of hers, comfortingly. "Cloud.. How... could you leave me like that.." She barely managed above a whisper.
Cloud felt his heart sink at the sound of her pained voice. Guilt was ridden all over him, and flourished in his mind. He tried to think of a response, not wanting her to feel as bad as she did. /And it's all my fault. But.. Aeris.. I... I don't know what to do.../
Giving up on anything to say, after a long moment of silence, Cloud brought Tifa's hand up to his lips and kissed it softly, whispering back to her, "I'm so sorry Tifa. I.. I don't know how to apologize enough." He wanted to explain everything about Aeris, about what she meant to him and how his feelings.. /No, I couldn't. It would just hurt her more, and I would just sound like I was making excuses./ He sighed heavily, slowly starting off Matrix again.
The air temperature began to drop as they neared the north. /Of course this is where she'd be. After all, this is where she died.. In the home of her people./ Tifa thought with a shiver. She was most definitely not dressed for this weather, and felt the chill in the air easily overwhelm her skin. She instinctively cuddled closer to Cloud for warmth.
After realizing Tifa's dilemma Cloud brought Matrix to another stop and got off, and without a word, climbed back on with Tifa in front of him, allowing him to wrap his arms around the young girl to keep her warm. /And just because I want to be close../ He thought, resting his chin on her bare shoulder. /I hope she doesn't mind../
Tifa, on the other hand, felt on the verge of tears. She pressed herself into him, straining for the last of his touch. As she looked ahead, she could see the large mountains of the North come to view over the horizon. Not long after the tall, tightly packed trees began to sprout into view. Tifa sighed, knowing that this was finally it. Oh, how she prayed this day would never come.. Yet here it was, and she was here to witness it right before her eyes. Ironically enough, it was such a beautiful place.
She hugged Cloud's arms around her, and with her last stable breath, she closed her eyes and whispered, "I love you Cloud."
The words struck his heart by surprise. He didn't expect them, least of all now, and found himself again overcome by guilt. Yet, he submitted to his true feelings, and with a brush of his lips to her soft cheek, he whispered in return, "I love you too, Tifa."
Tifa bit her lip to control her emotions. They wanted to flood out of her in every way possible. She wanted to hug and kiss him, yet at the same time wanted to hit or break something.
As Matrix finally stopped in front of Bone Village, the couple dismounted with an exhausted effort. Neither of them had slept in days.. Yet here they were, still pushing the limit. Possibly for the last time.
Cloud took Tifa's hand while keeping his arms around her, not for the sake of warmth, but to feel her next to him. He led her silently to the entrance of the Sleeping Forrest, taking slow, deliberate steps. He knew he was risking it by taking his time like this, but for the moment, it was well worth it.
He stopped her gently when he reached the entrance to the great, dark forest. He looked down at Tifa, who seemed to hold the greatest sadness in her eyes. He tried to smile for her, and took both of her hands in his facing her directly.
"Well, this is it, Tifa."
She didn't respond, only looking into his beautiful, ice blue eyes, mimicking his facade of a smile. She squeezed his hands.
"Do you want to go with, or, do you want to stay here?" He asked hesitantly. His words seemed to stick in his throat, as if he was supposed to really say something else, but he just didn't quite know what it was.
Tifa looked down at the ground, biting furiously at her lip, desperately hiding her emotions deep inside, as she had learned to do from Cloud. Only, she wasn't so good at masking it.
Cloud sighed deeply, then took her face in his hands and kissed her softly. Inside, all he could think about was if Aeris was still there. /God, I hope I made it in time.. I hope it's not too late../
He turned to start leaving, feeling the urgency of making it back to his flower girl, when small hands suddenly darted forward to grab his arm. He turned back in surprise to see Tifa's moist, pleading eyes. A silent tear slid down her soft, lovely cheek from those darkly burdened crimson eyes.
"Cloud, please.. don't go."
He could hear the soft sobs in her voice, and how she desperately tried to hold them inside.
He quickly threw his arms around her, pulling her petite body close to his. She embraced him back, hugging him just as hard while burying her face in his strong neck. He softly stroked her hair, feeling the strong urge to protect her from any harm, physical and emotional.
"Tifa.." He started, feeling his own words choke in his throat. "I.. When I found Aeris a couple days ago, she told me that her time to stay here was running out. She told me about how, like her ancestors, she had to travel to the Promised Land. She told be about how lonely it is there and how sad she is, now that she's gone from me.. from us. She told me that she's able to bring one person that she deeply cared about with her, to the Promised Land, where happiness and fulfillment will be eternal. With her.. Who could refuse?"
Cloud pulled away, just the slightest, to gaze into Tifa's tearful, wine colored eyes. Already she had accepted this fate. She had figured these events out long ago, and had already locked her heart to it. Cloud smiled, suddenly realizing what had been causing her so much pain. He had been too consumed with Aeris to ever see...
"Tifa, she asked me to come with her." He looked down sadly, guilt written all over his handsome face. His eyelids drooped with a heaviness she had never seen before, and his lips curved in a troubled frown.
Tifa only smiled sadly up at him, already having accepted this. She reached up tenderly to touch his cheek and gently moved a strand of hair from his moist forehead. The pain was clear in her voice. "It's alright Cloud, I know. I understand."
Cloud slowly shook his head in disagreement.
"No, Tifa. I chose to stay with you."
She merely blinked several times, feeling her heart open up and flourish yet again. A single fresh tear fell forward from her beautiful eyes, reflecting the first stars of twilight. She could hardly comprehend what he had said.
"W..what?"
"The answer was simple, and already locked into my heart. I can't leave you behind, you're my world and sky. Here with you far transcends the Promised Land. With you is where I belong, Tifa."
Cloud could see the heavens within her eyes, and knew that finally he had set things straight, that finally he had told her what he should have long ago. As much as he wanted to stay and -show- her how much he loved her, he remembered that he had to hurry before Aeris disappeared forever.
~*~*~*~
"Besides, you still owe me that one date, remember? This one will just.. Take a while."
"Aeris.. My heart belongs to Tifa. It always has.. It's just.. Taken me a long time to realize that."
"Oh, I see.."
"I'm sorry, but I can't go. I need to stay and take care of her as she did for me. I hate to see you alone, but after all I've put Tifa through, I can't just abandon her like that. She's everything to me, and my heart won't give her up. Because of me.. She's gone. Nobody know's where she disappeared to, but I know it's because of my ignorance.. I need to find her, before something happens that I can't take back. If she's in trouble, then I can't just leave her behind."
"Well, at least... when you find her, come back here and tell me if everything is well. If you're happy here, Cloud, then I couldn't possibly ask you to leave. But I must urge you to hurry.."
"Aeris.."
"I'm really going to miss you."
"I already do."
"Okay, Cloud. Please be careful, and come back to me soon. I don't have much longer."
"I promise you, Aeris. As soon as I find her, I'll come back for you, before it's too late. I love you, Aeris.."
~*~*~*~*~
Cloud looked at Tifa, remembering what he had said when he found Aeris. /I can't be late now,/ He thought to himself.
"Tifa, I have to go see her again before she has to go. I'm sorry, I promised her I'd come back as soon as I found you.." Cloud searched her eyes for any sign of distress or sadness.
Tifa smiled up at him, feeling a complete reversal from moments before. She couldn't even put into words how her heart leapt to the heavens when he told her he wanted her, that he -needed- her. She just hugged him tightly, wishing she could stay there forever.
Hugging her back just as close, Cloud continued, "Do you want to come with?"
Tifa reluctantly declined. "No, Cloud. You deserve the time with her, after all you've been through."
"You've been through a lot too, you know." Cloud kissed her forehead.
"Don't worry about me right now. I'll be find. Just go find her, Cloud. Keep your promise, as you did for me." She let go of his warmth and stepped back.
Cloud smiled back at her one last time, then whispered, "Thank you, Tif.." And without another word, he disappeared into the darkening forest.
Tifa watched until the last sight of him faded away from view, then sat down, hugging her knees. She gazed up at the stars, her heart feeling as if a part of them. She felt happy, but still with a bit of worry for Cloud and Aeris. She felt bad for Aeris. One of them was going to be let down, and unfortunately for the Cetra, it was Aeris. /She get's to live in the Promised Land, though.. I'm -sure- she couldn't remain lonely for long. I hope not, anyways. What's paradise without the one you love?/
Tifa pondered back, and remembered the jet black spikes of Zack. /He had died, too. I wonder if Aeris can find him there... he's in the Life Stream, after all. Cloud only manifested Zack's personality into his own after the trauma with Shin-Ra../ She sighed in spite of herself. /I hope she finds him./
She was so deeply in thought that she didn't hear the pair of footsteps coming towards her from behind. Before she knew it, she was being grabbed by two rough hands, feeling all too familiar. She gasped.
..x.x.x.x.x..
[Alrighty people, one more to go. I'll post it soon, so keep an eye out ^.^ I'ma make it nice and fluffy :D so until the next chapter, see-ya laters ^.^ v and again, thanks SO much to you who review, *sniffs* you make me feel so warm and fuzzy inside. Please... review and tell me watcha think ^.^ ]
::waves:: hi!!