Disclaimer: none of it is mine!
Merry and pippin are still perched up in the tree, oblivious to all the insanity that surrounds them (except, of course, the ravings of aragorn frodo and gollum).
"I don't know about you merry, but I'm running a bit low on popcorn" said pippin
"my Coke is almost out" replied merry
"lets go and get some refills"
"but this show is too good, I don't want to miss a minute of it" exclaimed merry
both sit in silent thought for a few minutes. (merry and pippin have slow- working minds)
"HEY!" cried pippin, "I've got an absolutely spiffing idea!"
"oh great, now we're talking british" mumbled merry.
"british. Hmmmmm.wonder where I got that word. I guess I'm going insane. Ah well, mum always said it happens to every Brandybuck once a month. Girls have something different happen on a monthly basis though.Erm, that was a bit uncomfortable. Oh dearie me, merry, you really have lost it. You're talking in your head, and you keep bringing up uncomfortable subjects. Ah yes, pop always used to say 'leave the thinking for those high and mighty important people'. 'never humor yourself, merry, for you are merely a hobbit in this big wide world. Try and be important, and you'll just get yourself in trouble"
"HA! I certainly told him! Look at me now, daddy-o! I am good friends with all the famous folk from songs, and reckon a fair number have been sung about me! You see, pop, hobbits are quite an important peoples!"
pippin stares at merry worriedly.
"merry, are you OK? Can I tell you about my idea now?" asked pippin
"oh yes, I'm fine. Wait, did I just say something out loud?"
"um, yes. Something about songs and daddy-o. merry, maybe we should go and talk to gandalf." said pippin
"no, really, I'm fine, I was just talking to myself, and then I accidentally started talking out loud, and it was all a big mistake, nothing bad. Gandalf doesn't need to be bothered by the ramblings in my head. See pippin, listen to me, I'm normal, perfectly normal. Nothing wrong here. No problems now, and there never will be any. Perfectly normal, nothing wrong, perfectly normal, nothing wrong.". Merry's voice rose to a high pitched hysterical scream, then quieted back down to mumbling.
"oh dear, gandalf had better know what to do with him. Merry certainly is a nervous wreck" thought pippin, full of concern for his friend.
Meanwhile, legolas and sam had decided that the situation was hopeless, and had seated themselves down at the foot of the tree, waiting for everyone else to either have a heart attack or shut up and calm down. Neither had happened so far.
Sam was just about to drop off, and have a pleasant snooze with dreams that he was back home with rosie (after the war of the ring ended, sam was never much of a traveler), when there was a loud kerplunk!, and a shapeless form that was mumbling incoherently (big word, go me!) landed in the bushes right next to him.
legolas immediately jumped up and fitted an arrow to his bow
(sexy AND brave, isn't he wonderful!)
"who goes there? Boromir, is that you?" said legolas loudly
"sorry guys, didn't mean to scare you. Hobbits may be made of tough stuff but that does NOT mean that I am willing to haul merry down a tree" squeaked the unmistakable voice of a hobbit from up the tree.
"oh lord, they're getting lazier and lazier, these hobbits" mumbled legolas
"I HEARD THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled sam and pippin at the same time, just as pippin leapt down from the tree.
It looked quite dramatic, like a painting titled "Two Hobbits Whoop an Elf's Butt", but pippin has bad aim, and instead of landing on legolas he fell into the bushes. Two muffled cries explained that he had landed on merry.
"this is hopeless" said legolas, remembering the good old days when all quests had consisted of silent, experienced elves from mirkwood, "ah well, this is what happens when stick for all those 'accepting' people like aragorn. At least I have fun"
"merry, how many times have we gone over the aerial attack? Look DOWN before you jump. Always remember to aim!" said sam exasperatedly (oooh, big word!)
"sure. maybe next time, sam" moaned pippin
"for God's sake, help the poor little halfling!" cried legolas, worried about merry and pippin.
"but he screwed up our attack the elf plan!" protested sam
"hey! There was an attack the elf plan! I thought we were getting to be good friends" said legolas as he helped up pippin
"thanks..." moaned pippin
"well, the plan was formed when we thought you were a snotty, good-for- nothing, useless, rude, mean, suck-uppy elf" answered sam as he hauled out merry from the bushes
"nothing wrong, perfectly normal, nothing wrong, perfectly normal.." mumbled merry.
"gosh, I didn't think I was that bad" said legolas, sounding dejected.
"well sorry, but actually I don't think it was all as a fair share of terrible stories about you have been thoroughly circulated throughout the vicinity (me and my advanced that bad. As time wore on you turned out to be too nice to be a villain, and we didn't want to have to pick a new villain, so we made you seem horrible. I strongly suggest you never visit The Shire, vocabulary) (
"right..." said legolas, "okay then, moving on, where are boromir and gandalf?"
"ummmmm...maybe we should look around for them. But remember how gandalf went all cooky with the coffee? He may have drank some of it" said pippin. "what about merry?" asked sam as pippin and legolas started walking away
nothing wrong, perfectly normal, nothing wrong, perfectly normal..." merry continued to mutter
"for god's sake will some one shut him up!" screamed legolas
"maybe we should just leave him here. No one's going to hurt him if we just stuff him back in the bushes" suggested pippin
"fine, but I don't think that's safe.." trailed off sam
"whatever we do with him, pant, pant, stuff a handkerchief, pant pant, in his mouth, pant pant!" yelled legolas, who was now hyperventilating.
"nothing wrong, perfectly normal, nothing wrong, perfectly normal...."
"FOR GOD'S SAKE SOMEBODY SHUT HIM UP!!!!!!"
sam proceeded to stuff a handkerchief in merry's mouth, and then threw merry in the bushes
legolas, pippin, and sam walked off to find the rest of the fellowship
dun dun dun......
I know, the whole fic has reverted to pure insanity, and I probably shouldn't have spent so much time on the hobbits and legolas, but it is so fun to make merry and pippin do crazy things
R&R PLEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is a bit long, but the next one will actually make important stuff happen. (I know, I know, I always talk about "the next chap" but sorry, it has become an incurable habit) also, didn't I just use so many big words!!!! Lol !!!!
Merry and pippin are still perched up in the tree, oblivious to all the insanity that surrounds them (except, of course, the ravings of aragorn frodo and gollum).
"I don't know about you merry, but I'm running a bit low on popcorn" said pippin
"my Coke is almost out" replied merry
"lets go and get some refills"
"but this show is too good, I don't want to miss a minute of it" exclaimed merry
both sit in silent thought for a few minutes. (merry and pippin have slow- working minds)
"HEY!" cried pippin, "I've got an absolutely spiffing idea!"
"oh great, now we're talking british" mumbled merry.
"british. Hmmmmm.wonder where I got that word. I guess I'm going insane. Ah well, mum always said it happens to every Brandybuck once a month. Girls have something different happen on a monthly basis though.Erm, that was a bit uncomfortable. Oh dearie me, merry, you really have lost it. You're talking in your head, and you keep bringing up uncomfortable subjects. Ah yes, pop always used to say 'leave the thinking for those high and mighty important people'. 'never humor yourself, merry, for you are merely a hobbit in this big wide world. Try and be important, and you'll just get yourself in trouble"
"HA! I certainly told him! Look at me now, daddy-o! I am good friends with all the famous folk from songs, and reckon a fair number have been sung about me! You see, pop, hobbits are quite an important peoples!"
pippin stares at merry worriedly.
"merry, are you OK? Can I tell you about my idea now?" asked pippin
"oh yes, I'm fine. Wait, did I just say something out loud?"
"um, yes. Something about songs and daddy-o. merry, maybe we should go and talk to gandalf." said pippin
"no, really, I'm fine, I was just talking to myself, and then I accidentally started talking out loud, and it was all a big mistake, nothing bad. Gandalf doesn't need to be bothered by the ramblings in my head. See pippin, listen to me, I'm normal, perfectly normal. Nothing wrong here. No problems now, and there never will be any. Perfectly normal, nothing wrong, perfectly normal, nothing wrong.". Merry's voice rose to a high pitched hysterical scream, then quieted back down to mumbling.
"oh dear, gandalf had better know what to do with him. Merry certainly is a nervous wreck" thought pippin, full of concern for his friend.
Meanwhile, legolas and sam had decided that the situation was hopeless, and had seated themselves down at the foot of the tree, waiting for everyone else to either have a heart attack or shut up and calm down. Neither had happened so far.
Sam was just about to drop off, and have a pleasant snooze with dreams that he was back home with rosie (after the war of the ring ended, sam was never much of a traveler), when there was a loud kerplunk!, and a shapeless form that was mumbling incoherently (big word, go me!) landed in the bushes right next to him.
legolas immediately jumped up and fitted an arrow to his bow
(sexy AND brave, isn't he wonderful!)
"who goes there? Boromir, is that you?" said legolas loudly
"sorry guys, didn't mean to scare you. Hobbits may be made of tough stuff but that does NOT mean that I am willing to haul merry down a tree" squeaked the unmistakable voice of a hobbit from up the tree.
"oh lord, they're getting lazier and lazier, these hobbits" mumbled legolas
"I HEARD THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled sam and pippin at the same time, just as pippin leapt down from the tree.
It looked quite dramatic, like a painting titled "Two Hobbits Whoop an Elf's Butt", but pippin has bad aim, and instead of landing on legolas he fell into the bushes. Two muffled cries explained that he had landed on merry.
"this is hopeless" said legolas, remembering the good old days when all quests had consisted of silent, experienced elves from mirkwood, "ah well, this is what happens when stick for all those 'accepting' people like aragorn. At least I have fun"
"merry, how many times have we gone over the aerial attack? Look DOWN before you jump. Always remember to aim!" said sam exasperatedly (oooh, big word!)
"sure. maybe next time, sam" moaned pippin
"for God's sake, help the poor little halfling!" cried legolas, worried about merry and pippin.
"but he screwed up our attack the elf plan!" protested sam
"hey! There was an attack the elf plan! I thought we were getting to be good friends" said legolas as he helped up pippin
"thanks..." moaned pippin
"well, the plan was formed when we thought you were a snotty, good-for- nothing, useless, rude, mean, suck-uppy elf" answered sam as he hauled out merry from the bushes
"nothing wrong, perfectly normal, nothing wrong, perfectly normal.." mumbled merry.
"gosh, I didn't think I was that bad" said legolas, sounding dejected.
"well sorry, but actually I don't think it was all as a fair share of terrible stories about you have been thoroughly circulated throughout the vicinity (me and my advanced that bad. As time wore on you turned out to be too nice to be a villain, and we didn't want to have to pick a new villain, so we made you seem horrible. I strongly suggest you never visit The Shire, vocabulary) (
"right..." said legolas, "okay then, moving on, where are boromir and gandalf?"
"ummmmm...maybe we should look around for them. But remember how gandalf went all cooky with the coffee? He may have drank some of it" said pippin. "what about merry?" asked sam as pippin and legolas started walking away
nothing wrong, perfectly normal, nothing wrong, perfectly normal..." merry continued to mutter
"for god's sake will some one shut him up!" screamed legolas
"maybe we should just leave him here. No one's going to hurt him if we just stuff him back in the bushes" suggested pippin
"fine, but I don't think that's safe.." trailed off sam
"whatever we do with him, pant, pant, stuff a handkerchief, pant pant, in his mouth, pant pant!" yelled legolas, who was now hyperventilating.
"nothing wrong, perfectly normal, nothing wrong, perfectly normal...."
"FOR GOD'S SAKE SOMEBODY SHUT HIM UP!!!!!!"
sam proceeded to stuff a handkerchief in merry's mouth, and then threw merry in the bushes
legolas, pippin, and sam walked off to find the rest of the fellowship
dun dun dun......
I know, the whole fic has reverted to pure insanity, and I probably shouldn't have spent so much time on the hobbits and legolas, but it is so fun to make merry and pippin do crazy things
R&R PLEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is a bit long, but the next one will actually make important stuff happen. (I know, I know, I always talk about "the next chap" but sorry, it has become an incurable habit) also, didn't I just use so many big words!!!! Lol !!!!