Ok, I get the feeling this fic is getting too long so there will probably
only be one more chapter after this one!
The fellowship has gotten back together in yet another clearing in the woods, including frodo, who has somehow trotted off to mordor and destroyed the one ring. He met up with gimli, who helped him. Oh, and frodo also killed gollum (thank god).
"now that the ENTIRE fellowship has finally gathered, I have something very important to tell you all..."
loud drumroll, probably merry and pippin banging on sam's cooking pots
"hey, those were expensive!" cried sam
"well, it helps build the excitement!" yelled merry and pippin
"ahem!" coughed gandalf loudly
"oh, sorry"
"yeah, didn't mean to ruin your speech"
"won't happen again"
"anyways, it turns out that the coffee is actually a benefit to your health. So, everybody drink some NOW!" screamed gandalf
boromir passes out steaming mugs of coffee.
"ummmmmmmm, are you sure?" asks gimli, "balin would probably tell me to stick to my hip flask"
"HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU! DRINK IT ALL NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled gandalf
"well, since I have missed out on a lot of the fun already, I will just stick with my hip flask" said gimli
"FINE! BUT EVERYBODY ELSE BETTER DRINK UP!" screamed gandalf
still nobody has touched the coffee
"you know gandalf, I think that you may have had a little too much coffee yourself. So we'll just ship you off to the hospital and set the coffee aside" said legolas wisely
elrond randomly pops up.
"gandalf, I know you long to be wiser and more powerful than me and galadriel, but it impossible, ad it is even more impossible to dominate middle earth with coffee"
"now I feel stupid and useless" says merry and pippin dejectedly.
"same here"
"me too"
"this sucks"
"dammit!" (that would be gimli)
"I know! Lets all have a big party, and everyone can get a ... ...you guessed it! HIP FLASK!!!!!!!!!"
entire fellowship screams in insane joy, and soon they are all drunk. Everyone is very happy, except for gandalf.
"world domination....how could my plan fail....this is horrible....need another evil plan...now must curl up like a porcupine and hibernate" mutters gandalf crazily.
Soon gandalf has taped some straws to his back (porcupine quills) and is rolled up in a ball in the corner.
"do porcupines hibernate?"
"I don't think so, pip" answered merry
"he's pretty drunk" said elrond
"on what?" asked gimli
"god knows"
"who really cares, lets just get on with the party" said legolas
soon, the entire fellowship is so drunk (on whiskey) that they all decide to be a porcupine. Isn't that a horrible mental picture: the fellowship, all curled up in balls with straws on their back.
"I can't believe these are our modern heroes" says elrond, shaking his head mournfully.
So, the lame ending to Coffee is porcupines. It was all very ending, and I write horrible endings, but oh well. Tell me what u think!!!
R&R! PLEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The fellowship has gotten back together in yet another clearing in the woods, including frodo, who has somehow trotted off to mordor and destroyed the one ring. He met up with gimli, who helped him. Oh, and frodo also killed gollum (thank god).
"now that the ENTIRE fellowship has finally gathered, I have something very important to tell you all..."
loud drumroll, probably merry and pippin banging on sam's cooking pots
"hey, those were expensive!" cried sam
"well, it helps build the excitement!" yelled merry and pippin
"ahem!" coughed gandalf loudly
"oh, sorry"
"yeah, didn't mean to ruin your speech"
"won't happen again"
"anyways, it turns out that the coffee is actually a benefit to your health. So, everybody drink some NOW!" screamed gandalf
boromir passes out steaming mugs of coffee.
"ummmmmmmm, are you sure?" asks gimli, "balin would probably tell me to stick to my hip flask"
"HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU! DRINK IT ALL NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled gandalf
"well, since I have missed out on a lot of the fun already, I will just stick with my hip flask" said gimli
"FINE! BUT EVERYBODY ELSE BETTER DRINK UP!" screamed gandalf
still nobody has touched the coffee
"you know gandalf, I think that you may have had a little too much coffee yourself. So we'll just ship you off to the hospital and set the coffee aside" said legolas wisely
elrond randomly pops up.
"gandalf, I know you long to be wiser and more powerful than me and galadriel, but it impossible, ad it is even more impossible to dominate middle earth with coffee"
"now I feel stupid and useless" says merry and pippin dejectedly.
"same here"
"me too"
"this sucks"
"dammit!" (that would be gimli)
"I know! Lets all have a big party, and everyone can get a ... ...you guessed it! HIP FLASK!!!!!!!!!"
entire fellowship screams in insane joy, and soon they are all drunk. Everyone is very happy, except for gandalf.
"world domination....how could my plan fail....this is horrible....need another evil plan...now must curl up like a porcupine and hibernate" mutters gandalf crazily.
Soon gandalf has taped some straws to his back (porcupine quills) and is rolled up in a ball in the corner.
"do porcupines hibernate?"
"I don't think so, pip" answered merry
"he's pretty drunk" said elrond
"on what?" asked gimli
"god knows"
"who really cares, lets just get on with the party" said legolas
soon, the entire fellowship is so drunk (on whiskey) that they all decide to be a porcupine. Isn't that a horrible mental picture: the fellowship, all curled up in balls with straws on their back.
"I can't believe these are our modern heroes" says elrond, shaking his head mournfully.
So, the lame ending to Coffee is porcupines. It was all very ending, and I write horrible endings, but oh well. Tell me what u think!!!
R&R! PLEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!