The Sins of the Fathers
Chapter Two
I hear the roar of a big machine
Two worlds and in between
Hot metal and methedrine
I hear empire down
I hear empire down
I hear the roar of a big machine
Two worlds and in between
Love lost, fire at will
Dum-dum bullets and shoot to kill, I hear
Dive, bombers, and
Empire down
Empire down
I hear the sons of the city and dispossessed
Get down, get undressed
Get pretty but you and me,
We got the kingdom, we got the key
We got the empire, now as then,
We don't doubt, we don't take direction,
Lucretia, my reflection, dance the ghost with me
We look hard
We look through
We look hard to see for real
Such things I hear, they don't make sense
I don't see much evidence
I don't feel. I don't feel. I don't Feel
Lucretia
A Slight Case of Over Bombing
The Sisters of Mercy (1993)
Toji Suzahara absently watched as some of his students file in. It was early still
but this was their first class of the day. That and it had come to his attention that his
class had become one of the more popular electives despite the fact that it did not count
towards university admissions. The early students were probably here to make sure
that they got good seats for the rest of the semester. Toji's attention was however
focused on the window, specifically on what could be seen on the other side of the
window. From the third floor classroom he could clearly see the daycare on the other
side of the campus. The daycare where just moments before he had dropped off his
daughter Koi.
He looked away from the window to see that of the classes 36 seats, which was
the maximum allowed by the school board, roughly a quarter were now occupied.
'Not bad,' he thought to himself, 'and a full ten minutes to go before the bell.'
Toji's class was exceptionally large for this school. But it was final year for the students
and his class was largely lectures and essays so the extra students weren't too bad. He
always looked forward to the first day of a new semester, as he knew none of the
student had heard any of his jokes yet. As the semester wore on he found he had a hard
time keeping track of what stories he had told and what jokes he had used.
He watched the girl who was obviously the class representative walk in, as
evidenced by the white armband on her left arm. She went the front left desk, from his
perspective, by the door and cast a menacing look at its current occupant. The student
immediately stood up and moved to the desk directly behind.
"I was just saving it for you, Fusae." He heard the student who moved say.
Fusae was dressed in the school uniform reserved for seniors, knee length navy
blue skirt, white blouse, and a red blazer. She seemed to Toji to be exceptionally tall,
and then he found himself wondering if one day his own daughter would be class rep
like her mother.
Toji returned his attention to the window.
In his own mind he thought, 'No chance of that happening if her mother is never
around.' Toji considered himself lucky, he managed to get away from NERV. Lucky in
that it seemed to occasionally have a habit of consuming people's whole lives. He loved
Hikari dearly and wanted her to be successful in her field. Working for NERV allowed
her access to technologies that other could only dream of, and by all rights she had a
very bright future, being as young as she was, but still he worried. All he had to do was
think of Shinji, Asuka and Rei, their lives irrevocably altered, and fear took him.
'You are being melodramatic,' he told himself, 'Kensuke is doing fine, enjoying
himself even, and Misato is still on top of her game.'
'You worry too much,' he continued to himself.
The class was beginning to fill up. He looked up at the clock, 'five to eight,' he
noted. He moved t his desk and picked up the class list and proceed to walk over to the
class rep.
"Fusae, would you be so kind as to call the roll once the bell rings,' he asked.
Fusae blushed slightly, "Of course Sensei."
'Probably confused as to how I knew her name, ' he told himself as he turned and
walked back to the window. Behind him he could hear nervous twittering and muted
giggles. After another couple of moments of considering the courtyard that lay below
the window he moved to the blackboard, which as it happened was green. He picked
up a piece of chalk and wrote in large letters across the center of the board.
Sensei Toji Suzahara, 703-WH02, Contemporary World History.
The bell rang just as he finished writing. The class rep immediately sprang to her
feet and she moved in a red blur to the center of the classroom. She began to call the
attendance. After a couple of minutes when all the students were accounted for she
handed Toji the attendance sheet, bowed and glided back to her seat.
All eyes were on Toji now, expectant, even eager eyes. They were studying him,
trying to imagine what kind of teacher he was. Certainly his manner of dress gave
some indication, that sort of casual professional, many younger teachers favored. His
rule was that he either wore a tie, or a jacket, but never both. Today it was a dark jacket
with a white button down shirt and khakis. Toji had some small measure of fame being
the only Evangelion pilot seen in public since the Failure. In strict terms that wasn't
quite accurate, there is one picture of Rei Ayanami with Unit-01 in Baikonur during
what was presumably the sun launch. The UN almost burned the London times Mirror
to the ground that day after that ran. That however was almost 12 years ago, Toji being
the only one seen since, by the public anyway.
"Good morning class," Toji introduced himself, "I am, as you are probably all
aware Toji Suzahara, and this is Contemporary World history. Firstly I wish everyone
to know that I am aware that this is not a required course for most university programs,
which however does not mean you will not have to work for your grades. You will also
along the way learn a great deal about contemporary history. The second point I wish
to make known is what I mean by contemporary history. In basic terms I mean the last
fifteen years, so no Second Impact stories."
Everyone in the class immediately began smiling, on occasion in previous classes
they had actually cheered.
Toji smiled himself, "Unlike many of my co-workers, your other teachers, I pretty
much have no memories of the Second Impact, and so we will focus on events since
then."
He stopped to survey the class trying to pick out which students were really
paying attention. He continued, "I am also happy to announce that there will be no
tests or exams in this class, there will however be essay assignments roughly every two
weeks. Additionally there will be two group presentations." He looked over the class
again, 'that got their attention.' He noted who was smiling and who wasn't, and a
couple that even frowned.
He turned slightly and slowly made his way over to the window and leaned on
the sill. "The Essay's will always have a minimum and a maximum word count,
generally 3000 to 5000 words. The minimum is somewhat flexible, if you can prove
your point in less than 3000 words, good for you. The maximum will be strictly
adhered to, at 5000 words I will simply stop reading, if you haven't finished your point
it will remain unfinished and marked accordingly."
Toji let that one sink in, and watched again to who was making what facial
expressions. While he'd be hard pressed to admit it, he kind of enjoyed being a hard ass
when the opportunity presented itself.
"Enough of that though, here's what we'll be covering. Of the time since 2nd
impact we'll focus roughly two thirds of our time on the post Failure period, the other
third will be spent examining the events leading up to the Failure," Toji stated. He
turned to face the class directly. "Quick show of hands, who among you have any
memories of Instrumentality?" About eight of the students hesitantly put up their
hands.
Toji pointed to the male student in the back row. "What do you remember?" he
asked.
The student stood up and looked at his peer hesitantly, then swallowed, "Harada
Baiko, Sensei. I was only four years old so I'm not sure if I remember, or I've been told I
remember. But I do have memories of my parents from times before I was born."
Toji smiled as if trying to reassure the young man, "Very good Baiko, please be
seated."
Baiko sat as he was asked. Toji moved back to the center of the classroom and
looked at his feet seemingly gathering his thoughts. After a couple of second he looked
up at the class again.
"It would seem that Mr. Harada managed to hit several interesting points at once
there. First of all he recognized that memories are strange creatures indeed. After a
time living in your mind it becomes had to distinguish between, your memories, stories
that were told to you, and fictions you create yourself that you use to rationalize your
own behavior. Recognizing that your memories may not be quite as accurate as we all
might like is important. This of course is why we write things down, and one of the
main motivators behind language itself." Toji shrugged his shoulders, stretching
slightly as if he was preparing to spend a long time talking, which he was. He took a
couple of steps backwards toward the blackboard and glanced over his should to make
sure he wasn't going to get chalk on himself. Satisfied that the board was chalk free he
leaned back against it and put his hands in his pockets.
"Memories of your parents lives before you were born is actually quite common
your age group. It's estimated that it is actually under-reported even for the same
reasons I just alluded to, namely that most people find it easer to believe that they were
told about the memories, or saw old videos or photographs. In any case when you
realize that most people who were caught up in Instrumentality were considerably
older that yourselves, you can begin to imagine how this has shaped our history since
then, think for a moment. All humanity united in a single consciousness, memories
shared, your innermost thought open for anyone to experience. Then after the Failure
the rug gets torn out from under you, you're alone again, and yet you still carry some
memories that aren't your own. You could almost hear the collective 'What the? What
was that about?' People were really confused, and of course angry. One of the most
interesting things is that people were angry for different reasons, angry, because their
minds had been invaded, or alternately angry that it ended."
Toji paused to look once again at the faces of his class, trying to read their
reactions. Aside for the fact he could tell they all seemed to be paying attention he
could glean no other useful information, after all these were experienced senior
students who were not going to give away too much on the first day of class.
He continued, "So the UN stepped in and pretty much locked down on
everything, particularly Tokyo-3 since this was, and still is the headquarters of NERV.
In the months that followed we saw many interesting things come to light. The
existence of an organization called SEELE, we learned the truth about Second Impact,
and we learned a great deal about the organization that is still called NERV."
Toji stood up straight, stepped forward form the board and tool his hand out of
his pockets.
"This of course brings us to our first essay assignment." Toji paused waiting for
the groans.
The class let out a sound that collectively sounded somewhat like a pained hiss
from a very old cat with arthritis that had just been awakened.
"Relax everyone, it's not that bad." He interrupted the noise. "Only 2000 to 4000
words. On the origins, goals and motivations of SEELE." The class seemed to be
acquiesced if only slightly, he continued. "Due in two weeks time, we will be covering
some of the material in class, but probably not enough to base a whole essay on. I
suggest you take a look at you reading list." He could now see fingers poking at the
tough screens and keyboards on the desks. Toji put his hands back in his pockets and
moved back over to the corner by the window and half sat on the corner of his desk.
He remained silent and watched the looks on his student's faces as they saw the
reading list. That and what was probably a huge amount of instant messages flying
around. The reading list, while formidable was not excessive, and certainly not the
largest in the school that honour belonged to the senior Japanese history class.
"I should probably warn you now, that some of those book are of limited supply
at the library so you may want to consider ganging up or putting you name in early for
reservations." Toji advised the class. A couple of student looked up but their heads
quickly went back down as they tried to identify the rare books on the list.
+++
Misato stepped out of the conference room and paused briefly to take a deep
breath. Her face was calm but her shoulders were bunched up and the tendons on her
neck that ran on either side of her throat threatened to snap. She breathed in she forced
her shoulders down and back and, as she did this she rolled her head from one side to
the other. Someone watching her might have expected to hear a pop or cracking noise
as she did this, unfortunately there was no such release, the tension was too deep, and
this was only a temporary reprieve. She quickly realized that Morris would be right
behind her so she quickly got herself moving before he could...
"Ah, Misato," Morris spoke from behind her, "Do you have some time to go over
some of the things that were discussed?"
Misato still had her back to him, which afforded her a little more privacy to let
her grimace. 'I really don't want to get into this right now.' She thought herself.
She stopped and without turning around replied to his question. "Well right
now I'm supposed to meet with Mr. Aida. How does an hour and a half before lunch
tomorrow sound?"
'Ah yes, Mr. Aida, the Commander's personal lapdog,' Morris thought.
"Ah well, 10:30 then?"
Misato started walking again, "Great, I'll have Julie contact you to confirm."
Morris watched Misato take off down the hallway, the only sound in the corridor
was the clicking of her heels. He distinctly got the impression that she was in a hurry,
and would probably even run if her shoes had permitted it.
'Nice can,' he thought to himself. 'She a pretty good-looking woman, age, job
stress and her chosen lifestyle excepted.'
He continued to stand there, unmoving just watching her. Eventually she
rounded the corner to where the elevators were. He face changed ever so slightly once
she was out of view. His mouth changed. His thin lips, which were normally tightly
closed unless he was speaking, upturned slightly at the corners. There was no chance
however that a casual observer would mistake this as a regular smile, for it held so
happiness. There was just a hint of glee, but not the regular Christmas morning
opening lots of presents glee. This was something altogether more sinister.
'Too bad about that though, it's kind of a waste.' He thought to himself. With
that he turned on his heel in a well-practiced motion and proceeded down the hallway
in the opposite direction that Misato went.
+++
Misato stopped just outside her workroom. She was balanced on one foot and
struggling with the seam in her nylons that had bunched up around the toes of her left
foot. She was leaning against the wall and as she brought up her head she could see
through the slightly open door. The door was only open a couple of inches but she
could clearly see the back of Kensuke's head. It looked like, from her vantage that he
was talking to himself.
She suddenly felt guilty for some reason. The she put her shoe back on and
stood up straight.
"Damn high heels," she cursed. Loud enough to give Kensuke some warning
that she was coming up behind him.
"Some spy you are." She muttered as she stepped around the chair he sat in and
crossed the room to her desk. "Sitting with your back to the door. Isn't that the first
thing they teach you in spook school?" She pitched the folder she was carrying on the
desk then collapsed into her chair. The chair was a massive leather affair and she
almost disappeared into it. Misato wriggled around in for a couple of seconds,
searching for all the comfortable dents and grooves. Satisfied she leaned back, kicked
her shoes off and put her feet up on the corner of her desk.
"Mmmm, just thinking. Nylons? What the occasion?" Kensuke replied after
Misato had finished her little sitting down ritual.
"Humph? Oh the nylons." Misato blushed slightly, "I kind of woke up late and
didn't shave. Trying to hide the stubble."
Kensuke pondered this for a moment, wrinkling his brow in the process. This
caused his glasses to be pushed slightly down his nose. He was wearing the thin
rectangular frames today. He had given up the big round frames he had worn
throughout most of his school years some time ago, and in recent years he'd taken up
quite an interest in his own appearance. He had found that dressing in a certain way,
or keeping a certain appearance made some aspects of his job much easer. He had
shifted forward in his seat as Misato entered, he wasn't really surprised, but he was a
little off guard. He settled back into his chair and looked at Misato across the desk.
"Won't the stubble ruin the stockings?" He inquired with a mock deep concern
in his voice.
"Probably, but I only really needed to get through that one meeting. And since
you brought up my dressing habits, what's with the suit? I think you may be taking
this whole Men In Black thing a little too seriously." Misato smiled, referencing his
black suit complete with black turtleneck.
Kensuke sat quietly for a moment composing his response; "It's Johnny Cash
night at the Karaoke bar after work."
Misato snorted and looked around the room for coffee. She leaned forward and
gave the stainless steel decanter a shake. It was empty.
"Coffee?" she asked of him.
"Sure." Kensuke replied, "So how was the meeting?"
Misato growled and held up a finger in a gesture for him to wait. She leaned
back in the chair and looked at the ceiling, obviously deep in thought.
"Julie," she breathed, barely audible since it was only meant for herself to hear.
Her right arm reached out and her fingers played across the keypad of the phone
on her desk. Eventually her index finger found its quarry and depressed the intercom
button. She was rewarded with congratulatory tone.
"Ma'am" Julie's disembodied voice entered the room.
"Uh hi, could you get us some more coffee please Julie?" Misato asked, raising
her voice slightly as she was still studying the ceiling.
Again the disembodied voice was heard, "Yes ma'am, just a couple of minutes."
Misato released the key and sat up slightly and looked back at Kensuke. In the
course of only a couple of seconds a variety of expression passed across her face.
Eventually she seemed to decide on an obviously forced smile.
"The meeting was." She paused looking for suitably descriptive words,
"uneventful, but irksome nonetheless."
"Mmm, then that's not what you wanted to see me about then is it." He replied.
He sat up in his chair and leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees. He face also
changed, it became a little grimmer, something like a child that is expecting some nasty
liquid cold medicine. The kind that always tasted bad, no matter how much sugar was
in it or what flavor it was named; Orange, Raspberry, Field berry, some how they all
seemed to be made from tastes-like-shit-berry.
Misato looked at him carefully, as if she was considering her words. Finally she
spoke, "That isn't what I wanted to talk about."
Kensuke reacted immediately; it was as if a great weight had been lifted from
him, which in his mind was exactly what had happened. He sat up in his chair. He
held Misato's gaze for a few moments, a couple of seconds longer that one might have
expected, then he leaned back in his chair and managed to smile. Not a great happy ear
to ear grin, but a smile nonetheless.
Misato brought her feet down off her desk and scooted the chair forward so her
body almost toughed the desk. Her feet tucked under the chair she leaned forward on
her elbows and crossed her arms in front of her. She smiled back at Kensuke.
"It's about our new UN observer, Mr. Morris." She spoke softly but with a tone
that denoted seriousness.
"Eugene Morris, of course." Kensuke's reply came quickly, "Actually I've
already started gathering some stuff for just such a request. I can have some stuff to
you tomorrow if you would like?"
Misato almost laughed out loud. Kensuke had over the years developed this
usually life-saving habit of anticipating her needs. She thought of it as 'usually' in that
it was occasionally really irritating having someone knowing what you wanted before
you did.
Misato reveled for a moment on this. 'Why does it frighten me so much that he
can read me so easily. Some days it really comforting that he can do that but it still…'
She shook her head, if they weren't going to talk about it there was no sense in thinking
about it.
Kensuke watched Misato's emotion play across her face. While normally he
quite enjoyed trying to anticipate her thoughts, in light of recent events he found that he
wished he didn't know her quite as well as he did. There were some things he just did
not want to know.
Misato made a conscious effort to clear her face of expression as she sat up and
leaned back in her chair. It made that squeaky noise that chairs do when they move
through a familiar range of motion.
"Great, Tomorrow would be great, first thing in the morning? I'm supposed to
meet with him at 10:30 so this way I could be prepared." She said.
"No problem." he replied, "By first thing in the morning I'll assume nine-ish
then, not seven?"
"Duh?" she said with no small amount of sarcasm.
"Right then. So really how was the meeting? What did they ask?" Kensuke
inquired, this time actually curious not just directing the conversation.
"It was pretty routine stuff. Can I release this for patent early? Can I delay
release of that to the public domain." She answered with a monotonous tone of voice
that was supposed to mimic one of the councilors.
Kensuke nodded for her to continue.
She went on, "I told them the level 6 genetic materials would be split into 6a and
6b, and that 6a would be released for patent, but 6b would be withheld for further
study."
Kensuke interrupted, "Those are the genes that can rewrite and the remove
themselves right?"
"Ya I think so, you'd be better off asking Dr, Suzahara. Anyway they're pretty
spooky and we may yet need them for the G3 virus."
"Really? You're gonna…" Kensuke was having trouble finding the appropriate
words.
"Shhhh," Misato cut him off with a hushed but very serious tone of voice, "As of
now only you, I, Hikari, and Maya know of this. It's just an option at this point. I just
want to hold some thing in reserve in case, you know."
"In case they don't come back." He stated.
"Mmmm" Misato grunted, 'Where was Julie with that damn coffee'
Misato looked as Kensuke, his eyes looked glassy, he was running through
different scenarios in his head, assimilating this new information. She leaned back in
her chair and put her feet back up on the desk. She looked at the ceiling.
'Let him chew on that for a couple of minutes, see what he comes up with.' She
thought back to the time when the angels were still attacking, and Kensuke was much
younger. 'Hell who am I kidding I was much younger.' He was obsessed with all
things military and would talk excitedly at great length about any new piece of
information that he had acquired. She could tell that this late bit of information had
excited him greatly, but now instead of analyzing it out loud he went into an almost
trance like state.
Kensuke cleared his throat as if to say 'I'm done now.' Misato who was almost
sideways to him now raised her right eyebrow, but otherwise did not move at all from
her ceiling studying position.
Kensuke recognized this and spoke. "The G3 series was never the real purpose
was it?"
"No." She responded without moving.
Kensuke smiled, 'I was right,' he thought.
Misato was smiling as well, 'I knew he'd get it.'
"This is what you want me to find out about Morris. 'Does the UN suspect?' "
Misato didn't answer, but she didn't need to either. 'I hope he doesn't ask why I
didn't tell him before,' she thought to herself.
"Did any of the counselors ask about the G2 series?" Kensuke asked.
Misato instantly tensed up, her head snapped up and swiveled to look squarely
at Kensuke.
Her now harsh tone of voice matched the look on her face, "Yes they did and I
told them the Second Generation Children are fine."
Kensuke had actually anticipated that reaction to his question, 'damn it, you
stupid woman why do you do that.' After a moment of thinking he decided to ask her
himself.
"Misato," he began in as reasonable a tone a voice as he could muster, "Why do
you insist upon doing that to yourself? They are not children; they are embryos in a vat
of liquid nitrogen. Hell most of them are not even embryos, they are little clumps of
undifferentiated stem cells, that's it."
Misato stood up slowly. I look of rage passed quickly over her face, only to be
replaced a frighteningly cold look. Kensuke had become immune to it's effects but he
still understood it's meaning.
"What you think I don't know that? Of course they are not children. But I think
of them as children, because as you so thoughtfully pointed out, it makes it harder. I do
it on purpose; I want these decisions to be hard. Things like this shouldn't be easy. You
know as well as I do what happens when you start to treat these things casually." Her
voice almost cracked, "And well they are children, some of the eggs where mine. I
know there are hundreds of thousand of eggs down there, a lot of people donated. You
did, didn't you?" She looked at him for an answer.
He nodded slightly.
"Well then, has is ever occurred to you that you may have children? Hell for that
matter we may have children." Misato stopped and turned her back to him. After a
few seconds she moved two steps over to the window behind her desk. She crossed her
arms and leaned forward, pressing her forehead against the glass. She let out a slow
deep sigh.
Kensuke leaned forward in his chair and held his hands in his head. 'I am a
fucking idiot. This is exactly what you did not want to start, dumbass,' he berated
himself. 'Nice, now what are you gonna do Mr. Wizard?' He lifted his head slightly
and peered up at Misato who was still pressed against the glass.
"Look, I'm sorry I didn't mean to…" Kensuke started off in a whisper, "Well you
know…" He buried his face in his hands again.
Again in a whisper he spoke, "it just hurts me to see you like this," Partially to
her but mostly to himself.
He could hear Misato draw in a deep breath.
"Does it hurt more than seeing me being all drunk and on my knees begging for
it?" She asked in voice that was barely audible.
Kensuke immediately tensed up, and drew breath. He was about to speak when
there was a knock at the door.
"Yes." They both said in unison, with no small measure of irritation in their
voices.
Julie's voice came from the other side of the closed door, "Coffee ma'am."
Kensuke almost leaped out of his seat and headed to the door. It was obvious
that he was looking for any kind of reprieve from where his conversation with Misato
seemed to be heading. He tried to clear his face of the mixture of hurt and confusion it
displayed, and then opened the door.
"Woo hoo, coffee, thanks Julie. Misato your coffee is here, " He said is his best
attempt at casual cheeriness.
Julie just stared at him over the tray she was holding. It was obvious to her that
she had interrupted something, and she was fairly certain that she did not what to
know what it was. She could see Misato over Kensuke's shoulder; she was standing in
front of the window with her back to her. She looked like she was rubbing her eyes.
Misato cleared her throat, but it wasn't in that 'I have a cold' or 'I breathed in
some dust' kind of way. It was that distinctive 'I'm about to cry but I can't right now'
kind of throat clearing noise. Julie's eye's widened in surprise and after a moment
narrowed and looked directly at Kensuke.
Kensuke had also recognized the noise that Misato had just made for what it
was. He looked up from the tray that Julie carried and looked at her. He knew that
they'd been busted and simply shrugged his shoulders as if to say 'help.'
Julie took a step forward while continuing to glare at Kensuke. He responded by
stepping back and slightly to the side. She set the tray with the coffee and related
implements an accessories down on the end of Misato's desk. Without a word she
poured a cup and began to cream and sugar it for Misato.
Kensuke was still standing at the doorway looking out into the reception area.
Misato continued to face the window with her arms crossed.
After she'd finished with Misato's cup she reached across the desk to place as
close to Misato as she could without moving herself.
"Ma'am?"
Misato tuned sideways, her back still to Julie and reached out for the cup. As she
reached out she turned her head slightly to correct her aim, and Julie go a look at her
profile. Her eyes were indeed puffy and red. Julie coughed quietly, but it was just
enough of Misato to turn her head and look at Julie over her shoulder. Julie quickly
raised her eyebrows in a 'Are you ok?' gesture.
"I'm fine, thanks." Misato said slowly, "Ken. Whadda want in your coffee?"
"Mmmm, uh, double double please," he replied almost automatically, still lost
some where in his own mind.
Julie went through the process of pouring, creaming and sugaring again. Misato
sat down in her chair and leaned back slightly while cradling her cup in both hands. A
couple strands of hair had fallen down over her face; she idly tucked them behind her
ear.
"I'm sorry Julie. You obviously caught us at a bad moment," Misato said, she
had returned to her normal tone of voice.
Kensuke's head swiveled around to look at Misato, and then Julie. His
expression was slowly returning to its usual happy/blank expression. After a moment
his head turned back to look out upon the hallway again. Apparently he was not quite
up to rejoining the conversation just yet.
"Umm Sub-Commander Ibuki called from the airfield, they've just landed. She
asked me to ask you if you and Dr. Suzahara could meet for lunch." Julie said as she
was carefully arraigning the items on the tray. She was a bit nervous, but seemed torn
as to whether she should leave as quickly as possible, or whether she was need to stay
and run interference, and help to keep the peace so to speak.
Misato swallowed the mouthful of coffee she'd just taken in and replied, "Hey
that sounds good. Kensuke would you like to join us?"
Kensuke's head rose, he had been looking at his feet, or perhaps the floor in front
of his feet it was hard to tell since he had his back to the two women.
His voice was clear of any distress now as he spoke, "Sure, perhaps I'll go find
Hikari now then. We can continue this later Commander?"
"Julie can call Hikari." Misato replied in a tone of voice that indicated that they
were not finished.
"Of course," Kensuke said as he reached out to take the cup that Julie was
handing him, "Thanks Julie."
Julie took that to mean she should leave.
"I'll go call Dr. Suzahara now then ma'am." Julie said in half questioning tone.
"Yes please." Misato said looking up at Julie while flashing her a reassuring
smile.
Julie nodded and headed towards the door, taking time to glare at Kensuke for a
moment.
After the door closed, Kensuke sat back down and stared at his coffee. Alone
with each other again neither one of them knew how to resume their conversation.
After a couple of tense moments of silence Kensuke sighed and sat up.
"Listen," he said, "I sorry. I'm sorry about the other night and I'm sorry about
just now."
Misato set down her cup and leaned forward resting her elbows on the desk. She
paused and rubbed her face.
"Don't," She replied, in a soft voice, "Don't be sorry. It's my fault. I'm the one
that should be apologizing." She looked up at him but he was still looking at his cup.
'Dammit look at me,' she thought to herself. "I was the one who came on to you.
I should know better, I mean we tried this before even. I'm too fucked in the head to
have a relationship, and you have to much self-respect to be treated like a toy."
She sighed as she drew breath, "I'm a bad person, and I was trying to use you."
Kensuke looked up, "Fuck you Misato, don't give me that I'm a bad person shit.
Oooohh I acted human for a few minutes."
Misato recoiled visibly at his remark. She was about to speak but he cut her off.
"Come on, you are not a bad person, I said no 'cause I knew that wasn't what
you wanted. Or at the very least not how you wanted it to happen. I just want you to
be happy and that would not have made you happy and you know it." He swallowed
and looked at her. There eyes met, 'please don't start crying,' he thought to himself.
"I," she started, searching for words, "I mean we, what would people say? I
can't, we can't."
"You can't or you don't want to?" he asked, in almost a whisper.
"Can't." She said simply. She stood up again and turned to face the window.
She clasped her hands behind her back and stretched forcing her shoulders to relax
slightly.
"Why, half of NERV already thinks I'm railing you. Besides I really the only
male you really keep company with. Shinji doesn't count, given his current habit of
wearing dresses." He smiled after his last statement.
Misato let out a small giggle, "That's not funny!"
"Yes it is." Kensuke quickly replied still smiling.
"Well ok it is, but it's not his fault, and besides he's not here to defend himself."
Misato said smiling now although Kensuke couldn't see it. She took a half step back
and sat on the edge of her desk, still facing away from him.
"True. Anyway forget about the other night, it's done. But just think about," He
stopped trying to find the right words, "whether it's can't or won't. Ok?"
Misato tilted leaned back and stretched her arms out behind her. Eventually her
hand came to rest on the desk behind her propping her up. She tilted her head back
and took a deep breath in through her nose.
"Alright." She said simply.
+++
Rei sat up in her chair. She looked around the room carefully with an expression
that said 'I was napping and just woke up.' Indeed in the year since the failure Rei had
learned many facial expressions. She leaned back in the chair and relaxed now that she
had oriented herself to her surroundings. Waking up like that in a chair in the middle
of the day was something that she thought she'd never get used to. Waking up
gradually in bed in the morning was one thing, but that moment of 'where am I?' in the
middle of the day threw her every time.
'It is a small thing to complain about,' she silently chided herself, as she rose
from her chair. After standing she looked down at herself as if to see what she was
wearing. As it happened she was wearing a brightly coloured knee length batik print
skirt with stylized fish skeletons on it, and white sleeveless shirt. She smiled and
nodded to herself, she always liked it when Shinji had mornings since she didn't like
most of Asuka's clothes. Satisfied she walked across the room to the kitchen of their
little shared cottage and looked in the fridge to see what Shinji had left her for lunch.
After they had moved here Shinji had immediately taken over all the cooking
and cleaning duties. Initially Rei thought this was rather odd until it was pointed out to
her that she had nothing to do and was probably bored, while Shinji always had plenty
to do. Asuka of course was still quite sick at this point and spent a lot of her time in bed
crying.
Actually it was Misato who noticed that Rei was bored, since Rei had never
really thought about it.
"Rei," Misato said one day long ago when she was up visiting. "You look bored,
you need a hobby. Why don't you fix the place up a bit, maybe a coat of paint, some
new trim perhaps?"
Little did Misato realize that she had actually had a significant impact on Rei's
life that day. It was just a casual comment, and Rei knew that, but she ran with it
anyway. One thing she had learned over that last couple year was that all the Eva pilots
tended to be a bit obsessive about things.
Rei opened the fridge and squatted down so she could peer into the furthest
reaches of the bottom shelf. She could see that Shinji had left her some noodles and a
salad. She grabbed both, stood up and closed the fridge door with her foot. The bowl
of noodles found itself in the microwave in seconds. The salad was already being eaten.
Rei was leaning against he counter in front of the sink salad bowl in one hand,
chopsticks in the other already eating.
She looked around the kitchen to see if either of her roommates had left her a
note. After a couple of second she found the note Asuka had left for Shinji.
'I still fail to understand the nature of this ongoing conflict over the window.' Rei
thought to herself.
The microware indicated that is was finished irradiating her lunch with a cheery
bleep. Rei opened the door and removed her noodles. She took both bowls over to the
kitchen table and set them down. She stood there for a moment looking at the bowls,
her eyes not really focused. Her eyes wandered across the table, then she looked up
and turned slowly in a circle. From her position she could see almost the entire cabin,
halfway through her rotation she saw what she was looking for.
She passed back through the kitchen to the chair she awoke in. On the side table
was a small stack of books, she tilted her head so she could read the titles on the spines
of the books. After a second of hesitation she took the send book in the pile and
returned to the table and sat down. Sitting at the table she opened the book, "Building
your own Fieldstone Fireplace" and rested her left elbow on it and continued to eat using
her right hand.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``
Notes to Self and Passers By:
Wow I actually got a second chapter out.
Much thank to Chesed and Weltall Elite for pre-reading and sorting me out.
It's starting to look like I'll be setting in to the 6000 to 8000 words range per installment.
Just enough to make it readable, but short enough I can hold it in my head and
concentrate.
I would like to point out that Toji is going to be a regular. Since 15 years have passed
since the Failure (that's what I'm calling 3I) a lot of stuff has happened. By making Toji
a teacher it allows me to fill in the gaps without boring you to tears by writing a history
textbook.
Next chapter we'll see what Asuka's doing as well as some other older characters. After
that the set up will be pretty much done and the real weirdness will begin.
Comments and Criticisms are always welcome, actually more that that I'm begging you
please tell me what you think.
Later Days
Ghola
Chapter Two
I hear the roar of a big machine
Two worlds and in between
Hot metal and methedrine
I hear empire down
I hear empire down
I hear the roar of a big machine
Two worlds and in between
Love lost, fire at will
Dum-dum bullets and shoot to kill, I hear
Dive, bombers, and
Empire down
Empire down
I hear the sons of the city and dispossessed
Get down, get undressed
Get pretty but you and me,
We got the kingdom, we got the key
We got the empire, now as then,
We don't doubt, we don't take direction,
Lucretia, my reflection, dance the ghost with me
We look hard
We look through
We look hard to see for real
Such things I hear, they don't make sense
I don't see much evidence
I don't feel. I don't feel. I don't Feel
Lucretia
A Slight Case of Over Bombing
The Sisters of Mercy (1993)
Toji Suzahara absently watched as some of his students file in. It was early still
but this was their first class of the day. That and it had come to his attention that his
class had become one of the more popular electives despite the fact that it did not count
towards university admissions. The early students were probably here to make sure
that they got good seats for the rest of the semester. Toji's attention was however
focused on the window, specifically on what could be seen on the other side of the
window. From the third floor classroom he could clearly see the daycare on the other
side of the campus. The daycare where just moments before he had dropped off his
daughter Koi.
He looked away from the window to see that of the classes 36 seats, which was
the maximum allowed by the school board, roughly a quarter were now occupied.
'Not bad,' he thought to himself, 'and a full ten minutes to go before the bell.'
Toji's class was exceptionally large for this school. But it was final year for the students
and his class was largely lectures and essays so the extra students weren't too bad. He
always looked forward to the first day of a new semester, as he knew none of the
student had heard any of his jokes yet. As the semester wore on he found he had a hard
time keeping track of what stories he had told and what jokes he had used.
He watched the girl who was obviously the class representative walk in, as
evidenced by the white armband on her left arm. She went the front left desk, from his
perspective, by the door and cast a menacing look at its current occupant. The student
immediately stood up and moved to the desk directly behind.
"I was just saving it for you, Fusae." He heard the student who moved say.
Fusae was dressed in the school uniform reserved for seniors, knee length navy
blue skirt, white blouse, and a red blazer. She seemed to Toji to be exceptionally tall,
and then he found himself wondering if one day his own daughter would be class rep
like her mother.
Toji returned his attention to the window.
In his own mind he thought, 'No chance of that happening if her mother is never
around.' Toji considered himself lucky, he managed to get away from NERV. Lucky in
that it seemed to occasionally have a habit of consuming people's whole lives. He loved
Hikari dearly and wanted her to be successful in her field. Working for NERV allowed
her access to technologies that other could only dream of, and by all rights she had a
very bright future, being as young as she was, but still he worried. All he had to do was
think of Shinji, Asuka and Rei, their lives irrevocably altered, and fear took him.
'You are being melodramatic,' he told himself, 'Kensuke is doing fine, enjoying
himself even, and Misato is still on top of her game.'
'You worry too much,' he continued to himself.
The class was beginning to fill up. He looked up at the clock, 'five to eight,' he
noted. He moved t his desk and picked up the class list and proceed to walk over to the
class rep.
"Fusae, would you be so kind as to call the roll once the bell rings,' he asked.
Fusae blushed slightly, "Of course Sensei."
'Probably confused as to how I knew her name, ' he told himself as he turned and
walked back to the window. Behind him he could hear nervous twittering and muted
giggles. After another couple of moments of considering the courtyard that lay below
the window he moved to the blackboard, which as it happened was green. He picked
up a piece of chalk and wrote in large letters across the center of the board.
Sensei Toji Suzahara, 703-WH02, Contemporary World History.
The bell rang just as he finished writing. The class rep immediately sprang to her
feet and she moved in a red blur to the center of the classroom. She began to call the
attendance. After a couple of minutes when all the students were accounted for she
handed Toji the attendance sheet, bowed and glided back to her seat.
All eyes were on Toji now, expectant, even eager eyes. They were studying him,
trying to imagine what kind of teacher he was. Certainly his manner of dress gave
some indication, that sort of casual professional, many younger teachers favored. His
rule was that he either wore a tie, or a jacket, but never both. Today it was a dark jacket
with a white button down shirt and khakis. Toji had some small measure of fame being
the only Evangelion pilot seen in public since the Failure. In strict terms that wasn't
quite accurate, there is one picture of Rei Ayanami with Unit-01 in Baikonur during
what was presumably the sun launch. The UN almost burned the London times Mirror
to the ground that day after that ran. That however was almost 12 years ago, Toji being
the only one seen since, by the public anyway.
"Good morning class," Toji introduced himself, "I am, as you are probably all
aware Toji Suzahara, and this is Contemporary World history. Firstly I wish everyone
to know that I am aware that this is not a required course for most university programs,
which however does not mean you will not have to work for your grades. You will also
along the way learn a great deal about contemporary history. The second point I wish
to make known is what I mean by contemporary history. In basic terms I mean the last
fifteen years, so no Second Impact stories."
Everyone in the class immediately began smiling, on occasion in previous classes
they had actually cheered.
Toji smiled himself, "Unlike many of my co-workers, your other teachers, I pretty
much have no memories of the Second Impact, and so we will focus on events since
then."
He stopped to survey the class trying to pick out which students were really
paying attention. He continued, "I am also happy to announce that there will be no
tests or exams in this class, there will however be essay assignments roughly every two
weeks. Additionally there will be two group presentations." He looked over the class
again, 'that got their attention.' He noted who was smiling and who wasn't, and a
couple that even frowned.
He turned slightly and slowly made his way over to the window and leaned on
the sill. "The Essay's will always have a minimum and a maximum word count,
generally 3000 to 5000 words. The minimum is somewhat flexible, if you can prove
your point in less than 3000 words, good for you. The maximum will be strictly
adhered to, at 5000 words I will simply stop reading, if you haven't finished your point
it will remain unfinished and marked accordingly."
Toji let that one sink in, and watched again to who was making what facial
expressions. While he'd be hard pressed to admit it, he kind of enjoyed being a hard ass
when the opportunity presented itself.
"Enough of that though, here's what we'll be covering. Of the time since 2nd
impact we'll focus roughly two thirds of our time on the post Failure period, the other
third will be spent examining the events leading up to the Failure," Toji stated. He
turned to face the class directly. "Quick show of hands, who among you have any
memories of Instrumentality?" About eight of the students hesitantly put up their
hands.
Toji pointed to the male student in the back row. "What do you remember?" he
asked.
The student stood up and looked at his peer hesitantly, then swallowed, "Harada
Baiko, Sensei. I was only four years old so I'm not sure if I remember, or I've been told I
remember. But I do have memories of my parents from times before I was born."
Toji smiled as if trying to reassure the young man, "Very good Baiko, please be
seated."
Baiko sat as he was asked. Toji moved back to the center of the classroom and
looked at his feet seemingly gathering his thoughts. After a couple of second he looked
up at the class again.
"It would seem that Mr. Harada managed to hit several interesting points at once
there. First of all he recognized that memories are strange creatures indeed. After a
time living in your mind it becomes had to distinguish between, your memories, stories
that were told to you, and fictions you create yourself that you use to rationalize your
own behavior. Recognizing that your memories may not be quite as accurate as we all
might like is important. This of course is why we write things down, and one of the
main motivators behind language itself." Toji shrugged his shoulders, stretching
slightly as if he was preparing to spend a long time talking, which he was. He took a
couple of steps backwards toward the blackboard and glanced over his should to make
sure he wasn't going to get chalk on himself. Satisfied that the board was chalk free he
leaned back against it and put his hands in his pockets.
"Memories of your parents lives before you were born is actually quite common
your age group. It's estimated that it is actually under-reported even for the same
reasons I just alluded to, namely that most people find it easer to believe that they were
told about the memories, or saw old videos or photographs. In any case when you
realize that most people who were caught up in Instrumentality were considerably
older that yourselves, you can begin to imagine how this has shaped our history since
then, think for a moment. All humanity united in a single consciousness, memories
shared, your innermost thought open for anyone to experience. Then after the Failure
the rug gets torn out from under you, you're alone again, and yet you still carry some
memories that aren't your own. You could almost hear the collective 'What the? What
was that about?' People were really confused, and of course angry. One of the most
interesting things is that people were angry for different reasons, angry, because their
minds had been invaded, or alternately angry that it ended."
Toji paused to look once again at the faces of his class, trying to read their
reactions. Aside for the fact he could tell they all seemed to be paying attention he
could glean no other useful information, after all these were experienced senior
students who were not going to give away too much on the first day of class.
He continued, "So the UN stepped in and pretty much locked down on
everything, particularly Tokyo-3 since this was, and still is the headquarters of NERV.
In the months that followed we saw many interesting things come to light. The
existence of an organization called SEELE, we learned the truth about Second Impact,
and we learned a great deal about the organization that is still called NERV."
Toji stood up straight, stepped forward form the board and tool his hand out of
his pockets.
"This of course brings us to our first essay assignment." Toji paused waiting for
the groans.
The class let out a sound that collectively sounded somewhat like a pained hiss
from a very old cat with arthritis that had just been awakened.
"Relax everyone, it's not that bad." He interrupted the noise. "Only 2000 to 4000
words. On the origins, goals and motivations of SEELE." The class seemed to be
acquiesced if only slightly, he continued. "Due in two weeks time, we will be covering
some of the material in class, but probably not enough to base a whole essay on. I
suggest you take a look at you reading list." He could now see fingers poking at the
tough screens and keyboards on the desks. Toji put his hands back in his pockets and
moved back over to the corner by the window and half sat on the corner of his desk.
He remained silent and watched the looks on his student's faces as they saw the
reading list. That and what was probably a huge amount of instant messages flying
around. The reading list, while formidable was not excessive, and certainly not the
largest in the school that honour belonged to the senior Japanese history class.
"I should probably warn you now, that some of those book are of limited supply
at the library so you may want to consider ganging up or putting you name in early for
reservations." Toji advised the class. A couple of student looked up but their heads
quickly went back down as they tried to identify the rare books on the list.
+++
Misato stepped out of the conference room and paused briefly to take a deep
breath. Her face was calm but her shoulders were bunched up and the tendons on her
neck that ran on either side of her throat threatened to snap. She breathed in she forced
her shoulders down and back and, as she did this she rolled her head from one side to
the other. Someone watching her might have expected to hear a pop or cracking noise
as she did this, unfortunately there was no such release, the tension was too deep, and
this was only a temporary reprieve. She quickly realized that Morris would be right
behind her so she quickly got herself moving before he could...
"Ah, Misato," Morris spoke from behind her, "Do you have some time to go over
some of the things that were discussed?"
Misato still had her back to him, which afforded her a little more privacy to let
her grimace. 'I really don't want to get into this right now.' She thought herself.
She stopped and without turning around replied to his question. "Well right
now I'm supposed to meet with Mr. Aida. How does an hour and a half before lunch
tomorrow sound?"
'Ah yes, Mr. Aida, the Commander's personal lapdog,' Morris thought.
"Ah well, 10:30 then?"
Misato started walking again, "Great, I'll have Julie contact you to confirm."
Morris watched Misato take off down the hallway, the only sound in the corridor
was the clicking of her heels. He distinctly got the impression that she was in a hurry,
and would probably even run if her shoes had permitted it.
'Nice can,' he thought to himself. 'She a pretty good-looking woman, age, job
stress and her chosen lifestyle excepted.'
He continued to stand there, unmoving just watching her. Eventually she
rounded the corner to where the elevators were. He face changed ever so slightly once
she was out of view. His mouth changed. His thin lips, which were normally tightly
closed unless he was speaking, upturned slightly at the corners. There was no chance
however that a casual observer would mistake this as a regular smile, for it held so
happiness. There was just a hint of glee, but not the regular Christmas morning
opening lots of presents glee. This was something altogether more sinister.
'Too bad about that though, it's kind of a waste.' He thought to himself. With
that he turned on his heel in a well-practiced motion and proceeded down the hallway
in the opposite direction that Misato went.
+++
Misato stopped just outside her workroom. She was balanced on one foot and
struggling with the seam in her nylons that had bunched up around the toes of her left
foot. She was leaning against the wall and as she brought up her head she could see
through the slightly open door. The door was only open a couple of inches but she
could clearly see the back of Kensuke's head. It looked like, from her vantage that he
was talking to himself.
She suddenly felt guilty for some reason. The she put her shoe back on and
stood up straight.
"Damn high heels," she cursed. Loud enough to give Kensuke some warning
that she was coming up behind him.
"Some spy you are." She muttered as she stepped around the chair he sat in and
crossed the room to her desk. "Sitting with your back to the door. Isn't that the first
thing they teach you in spook school?" She pitched the folder she was carrying on the
desk then collapsed into her chair. The chair was a massive leather affair and she
almost disappeared into it. Misato wriggled around in for a couple of seconds,
searching for all the comfortable dents and grooves. Satisfied she leaned back, kicked
her shoes off and put her feet up on the corner of her desk.
"Mmmm, just thinking. Nylons? What the occasion?" Kensuke replied after
Misato had finished her little sitting down ritual.
"Humph? Oh the nylons." Misato blushed slightly, "I kind of woke up late and
didn't shave. Trying to hide the stubble."
Kensuke pondered this for a moment, wrinkling his brow in the process. This
caused his glasses to be pushed slightly down his nose. He was wearing the thin
rectangular frames today. He had given up the big round frames he had worn
throughout most of his school years some time ago, and in recent years he'd taken up
quite an interest in his own appearance. He had found that dressing in a certain way,
or keeping a certain appearance made some aspects of his job much easer. He had
shifted forward in his seat as Misato entered, he wasn't really surprised, but he was a
little off guard. He settled back into his chair and looked at Misato across the desk.
"Won't the stubble ruin the stockings?" He inquired with a mock deep concern
in his voice.
"Probably, but I only really needed to get through that one meeting. And since
you brought up my dressing habits, what's with the suit? I think you may be taking
this whole Men In Black thing a little too seriously." Misato smiled, referencing his
black suit complete with black turtleneck.
Kensuke sat quietly for a moment composing his response; "It's Johnny Cash
night at the Karaoke bar after work."
Misato snorted and looked around the room for coffee. She leaned forward and
gave the stainless steel decanter a shake. It was empty.
"Coffee?" she asked of him.
"Sure." Kensuke replied, "So how was the meeting?"
Misato growled and held up a finger in a gesture for him to wait. She leaned
back in the chair and looked at the ceiling, obviously deep in thought.
"Julie," she breathed, barely audible since it was only meant for herself to hear.
Her right arm reached out and her fingers played across the keypad of the phone
on her desk. Eventually her index finger found its quarry and depressed the intercom
button. She was rewarded with congratulatory tone.
"Ma'am" Julie's disembodied voice entered the room.
"Uh hi, could you get us some more coffee please Julie?" Misato asked, raising
her voice slightly as she was still studying the ceiling.
Again the disembodied voice was heard, "Yes ma'am, just a couple of minutes."
Misato released the key and sat up slightly and looked back at Kensuke. In the
course of only a couple of seconds a variety of expression passed across her face.
Eventually she seemed to decide on an obviously forced smile.
"The meeting was." She paused looking for suitably descriptive words,
"uneventful, but irksome nonetheless."
"Mmm, then that's not what you wanted to see me about then is it." He replied.
He sat up in his chair and leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees. He face also
changed, it became a little grimmer, something like a child that is expecting some nasty
liquid cold medicine. The kind that always tasted bad, no matter how much sugar was
in it or what flavor it was named; Orange, Raspberry, Field berry, some how they all
seemed to be made from tastes-like-shit-berry.
Misato looked at him carefully, as if she was considering her words. Finally she
spoke, "That isn't what I wanted to talk about."
Kensuke reacted immediately; it was as if a great weight had been lifted from
him, which in his mind was exactly what had happened. He sat up in his chair. He
held Misato's gaze for a few moments, a couple of seconds longer that one might have
expected, then he leaned back in his chair and managed to smile. Not a great happy ear
to ear grin, but a smile nonetheless.
Misato brought her feet down off her desk and scooted the chair forward so her
body almost toughed the desk. Her feet tucked under the chair she leaned forward on
her elbows and crossed her arms in front of her. She smiled back at Kensuke.
"It's about our new UN observer, Mr. Morris." She spoke softly but with a tone
that denoted seriousness.
"Eugene Morris, of course." Kensuke's reply came quickly, "Actually I've
already started gathering some stuff for just such a request. I can have some stuff to
you tomorrow if you would like?"
Misato almost laughed out loud. Kensuke had over the years developed this
usually life-saving habit of anticipating her needs. She thought of it as 'usually' in that
it was occasionally really irritating having someone knowing what you wanted before
you did.
Misato reveled for a moment on this. 'Why does it frighten me so much that he
can read me so easily. Some days it really comforting that he can do that but it still…'
She shook her head, if they weren't going to talk about it there was no sense in thinking
about it.
Kensuke watched Misato's emotion play across her face. While normally he
quite enjoyed trying to anticipate her thoughts, in light of recent events he found that he
wished he didn't know her quite as well as he did. There were some things he just did
not want to know.
Misato made a conscious effort to clear her face of expression as she sat up and
leaned back in her chair. It made that squeaky noise that chairs do when they move
through a familiar range of motion.
"Great, Tomorrow would be great, first thing in the morning? I'm supposed to
meet with him at 10:30 so this way I could be prepared." She said.
"No problem." he replied, "By first thing in the morning I'll assume nine-ish
then, not seven?"
"Duh?" she said with no small amount of sarcasm.
"Right then. So really how was the meeting? What did they ask?" Kensuke
inquired, this time actually curious not just directing the conversation.
"It was pretty routine stuff. Can I release this for patent early? Can I delay
release of that to the public domain." She answered with a monotonous tone of voice
that was supposed to mimic one of the councilors.
Kensuke nodded for her to continue.
She went on, "I told them the level 6 genetic materials would be split into 6a and
6b, and that 6a would be released for patent, but 6b would be withheld for further
study."
Kensuke interrupted, "Those are the genes that can rewrite and the remove
themselves right?"
"Ya I think so, you'd be better off asking Dr, Suzahara. Anyway they're pretty
spooky and we may yet need them for the G3 virus."
"Really? You're gonna…" Kensuke was having trouble finding the appropriate
words.
"Shhhh," Misato cut him off with a hushed but very serious tone of voice, "As of
now only you, I, Hikari, and Maya know of this. It's just an option at this point. I just
want to hold some thing in reserve in case, you know."
"In case they don't come back." He stated.
"Mmmm" Misato grunted, 'Where was Julie with that damn coffee'
Misato looked as Kensuke, his eyes looked glassy, he was running through
different scenarios in his head, assimilating this new information. She leaned back in
her chair and put her feet back up on the desk. She looked at the ceiling.
'Let him chew on that for a couple of minutes, see what he comes up with.' She
thought back to the time when the angels were still attacking, and Kensuke was much
younger. 'Hell who am I kidding I was much younger.' He was obsessed with all
things military and would talk excitedly at great length about any new piece of
information that he had acquired. She could tell that this late bit of information had
excited him greatly, but now instead of analyzing it out loud he went into an almost
trance like state.
Kensuke cleared his throat as if to say 'I'm done now.' Misato who was almost
sideways to him now raised her right eyebrow, but otherwise did not move at all from
her ceiling studying position.
Kensuke recognized this and spoke. "The G3 series was never the real purpose
was it?"
"No." She responded without moving.
Kensuke smiled, 'I was right,' he thought.
Misato was smiling as well, 'I knew he'd get it.'
"This is what you want me to find out about Morris. 'Does the UN suspect?' "
Misato didn't answer, but she didn't need to either. 'I hope he doesn't ask why I
didn't tell him before,' she thought to herself.
"Did any of the counselors ask about the G2 series?" Kensuke asked.
Misato instantly tensed up, her head snapped up and swiveled to look squarely
at Kensuke.
Her now harsh tone of voice matched the look on her face, "Yes they did and I
told them the Second Generation Children are fine."
Kensuke had actually anticipated that reaction to his question, 'damn it, you
stupid woman why do you do that.' After a moment of thinking he decided to ask her
himself.
"Misato," he began in as reasonable a tone a voice as he could muster, "Why do
you insist upon doing that to yourself? They are not children; they are embryos in a vat
of liquid nitrogen. Hell most of them are not even embryos, they are little clumps of
undifferentiated stem cells, that's it."
Misato stood up slowly. I look of rage passed quickly over her face, only to be
replaced a frighteningly cold look. Kensuke had become immune to it's effects but he
still understood it's meaning.
"What you think I don't know that? Of course they are not children. But I think
of them as children, because as you so thoughtfully pointed out, it makes it harder. I do
it on purpose; I want these decisions to be hard. Things like this shouldn't be easy. You
know as well as I do what happens when you start to treat these things casually." Her
voice almost cracked, "And well they are children, some of the eggs where mine. I
know there are hundreds of thousand of eggs down there, a lot of people donated. You
did, didn't you?" She looked at him for an answer.
He nodded slightly.
"Well then, has is ever occurred to you that you may have children? Hell for that
matter we may have children." Misato stopped and turned her back to him. After a
few seconds she moved two steps over to the window behind her desk. She crossed her
arms and leaned forward, pressing her forehead against the glass. She let out a slow
deep sigh.
Kensuke leaned forward in his chair and held his hands in his head. 'I am a
fucking idiot. This is exactly what you did not want to start, dumbass,' he berated
himself. 'Nice, now what are you gonna do Mr. Wizard?' He lifted his head slightly
and peered up at Misato who was still pressed against the glass.
"Look, I'm sorry I didn't mean to…" Kensuke started off in a whisper, "Well you
know…" He buried his face in his hands again.
Again in a whisper he spoke, "it just hurts me to see you like this," Partially to
her but mostly to himself.
He could hear Misato draw in a deep breath.
"Does it hurt more than seeing me being all drunk and on my knees begging for
it?" She asked in voice that was barely audible.
Kensuke immediately tensed up, and drew breath. He was about to speak when
there was a knock at the door.
"Yes." They both said in unison, with no small measure of irritation in their
voices.
Julie's voice came from the other side of the closed door, "Coffee ma'am."
Kensuke almost leaped out of his seat and headed to the door. It was obvious
that he was looking for any kind of reprieve from where his conversation with Misato
seemed to be heading. He tried to clear his face of the mixture of hurt and confusion it
displayed, and then opened the door.
"Woo hoo, coffee, thanks Julie. Misato your coffee is here, " He said is his best
attempt at casual cheeriness.
Julie just stared at him over the tray she was holding. It was obvious to her that
she had interrupted something, and she was fairly certain that she did not what to
know what it was. She could see Misato over Kensuke's shoulder; she was standing in
front of the window with her back to her. She looked like she was rubbing her eyes.
Misato cleared her throat, but it wasn't in that 'I have a cold' or 'I breathed in
some dust' kind of way. It was that distinctive 'I'm about to cry but I can't right now'
kind of throat clearing noise. Julie's eye's widened in surprise and after a moment
narrowed and looked directly at Kensuke.
Kensuke had also recognized the noise that Misato had just made for what it
was. He looked up from the tray that Julie carried and looked at her. He knew that
they'd been busted and simply shrugged his shoulders as if to say 'help.'
Julie took a step forward while continuing to glare at Kensuke. He responded by
stepping back and slightly to the side. She set the tray with the coffee and related
implements an accessories down on the end of Misato's desk. Without a word she
poured a cup and began to cream and sugar it for Misato.
Kensuke was still standing at the doorway looking out into the reception area.
Misato continued to face the window with her arms crossed.
After she'd finished with Misato's cup she reached across the desk to place as
close to Misato as she could without moving herself.
"Ma'am?"
Misato tuned sideways, her back still to Julie and reached out for the cup. As she
reached out she turned her head slightly to correct her aim, and Julie go a look at her
profile. Her eyes were indeed puffy and red. Julie coughed quietly, but it was just
enough of Misato to turn her head and look at Julie over her shoulder. Julie quickly
raised her eyebrows in a 'Are you ok?' gesture.
"I'm fine, thanks." Misato said slowly, "Ken. Whadda want in your coffee?"
"Mmmm, uh, double double please," he replied almost automatically, still lost
some where in his own mind.
Julie went through the process of pouring, creaming and sugaring again. Misato
sat down in her chair and leaned back slightly while cradling her cup in both hands. A
couple strands of hair had fallen down over her face; she idly tucked them behind her
ear.
"I'm sorry Julie. You obviously caught us at a bad moment," Misato said, she
had returned to her normal tone of voice.
Kensuke's head swiveled around to look at Misato, and then Julie. His
expression was slowly returning to its usual happy/blank expression. After a moment
his head turned back to look out upon the hallway again. Apparently he was not quite
up to rejoining the conversation just yet.
"Umm Sub-Commander Ibuki called from the airfield, they've just landed. She
asked me to ask you if you and Dr. Suzahara could meet for lunch." Julie said as she
was carefully arraigning the items on the tray. She was a bit nervous, but seemed torn
as to whether she should leave as quickly as possible, or whether she was need to stay
and run interference, and help to keep the peace so to speak.
Misato swallowed the mouthful of coffee she'd just taken in and replied, "Hey
that sounds good. Kensuke would you like to join us?"
Kensuke's head rose, he had been looking at his feet, or perhaps the floor in front
of his feet it was hard to tell since he had his back to the two women.
His voice was clear of any distress now as he spoke, "Sure, perhaps I'll go find
Hikari now then. We can continue this later Commander?"
"Julie can call Hikari." Misato replied in a tone of voice that indicated that they
were not finished.
"Of course," Kensuke said as he reached out to take the cup that Julie was
handing him, "Thanks Julie."
Julie took that to mean she should leave.
"I'll go call Dr. Suzahara now then ma'am." Julie said in half questioning tone.
"Yes please." Misato said looking up at Julie while flashing her a reassuring
smile.
Julie nodded and headed towards the door, taking time to glare at Kensuke for a
moment.
After the door closed, Kensuke sat back down and stared at his coffee. Alone
with each other again neither one of them knew how to resume their conversation.
After a couple of tense moments of silence Kensuke sighed and sat up.
"Listen," he said, "I sorry. I'm sorry about the other night and I'm sorry about
just now."
Misato set down her cup and leaned forward resting her elbows on the desk. She
paused and rubbed her face.
"Don't," She replied, in a soft voice, "Don't be sorry. It's my fault. I'm the one
that should be apologizing." She looked up at him but he was still looking at his cup.
'Dammit look at me,' she thought to herself. "I was the one who came on to you.
I should know better, I mean we tried this before even. I'm too fucked in the head to
have a relationship, and you have to much self-respect to be treated like a toy."
She sighed as she drew breath, "I'm a bad person, and I was trying to use you."
Kensuke looked up, "Fuck you Misato, don't give me that I'm a bad person shit.
Oooohh I acted human for a few minutes."
Misato recoiled visibly at his remark. She was about to speak but he cut her off.
"Come on, you are not a bad person, I said no 'cause I knew that wasn't what
you wanted. Or at the very least not how you wanted it to happen. I just want you to
be happy and that would not have made you happy and you know it." He swallowed
and looked at her. There eyes met, 'please don't start crying,' he thought to himself.
"I," she started, searching for words, "I mean we, what would people say? I
can't, we can't."
"You can't or you don't want to?" he asked, in almost a whisper.
"Can't." She said simply. She stood up again and turned to face the window.
She clasped her hands behind her back and stretched forcing her shoulders to relax
slightly.
"Why, half of NERV already thinks I'm railing you. Besides I really the only
male you really keep company with. Shinji doesn't count, given his current habit of
wearing dresses." He smiled after his last statement.
Misato let out a small giggle, "That's not funny!"
"Yes it is." Kensuke quickly replied still smiling.
"Well ok it is, but it's not his fault, and besides he's not here to defend himself."
Misato said smiling now although Kensuke couldn't see it. She took a half step back
and sat on the edge of her desk, still facing away from him.
"True. Anyway forget about the other night, it's done. But just think about," He
stopped trying to find the right words, "whether it's can't or won't. Ok?"
Misato tilted leaned back and stretched her arms out behind her. Eventually her
hand came to rest on the desk behind her propping her up. She tilted her head back
and took a deep breath in through her nose.
"Alright." She said simply.
+++
Rei sat up in her chair. She looked around the room carefully with an expression
that said 'I was napping and just woke up.' Indeed in the year since the failure Rei had
learned many facial expressions. She leaned back in the chair and relaxed now that she
had oriented herself to her surroundings. Waking up like that in a chair in the middle
of the day was something that she thought she'd never get used to. Waking up
gradually in bed in the morning was one thing, but that moment of 'where am I?' in the
middle of the day threw her every time.
'It is a small thing to complain about,' she silently chided herself, as she rose
from her chair. After standing she looked down at herself as if to see what she was
wearing. As it happened she was wearing a brightly coloured knee length batik print
skirt with stylized fish skeletons on it, and white sleeveless shirt. She smiled and
nodded to herself, she always liked it when Shinji had mornings since she didn't like
most of Asuka's clothes. Satisfied she walked across the room to the kitchen of their
little shared cottage and looked in the fridge to see what Shinji had left her for lunch.
After they had moved here Shinji had immediately taken over all the cooking
and cleaning duties. Initially Rei thought this was rather odd until it was pointed out to
her that she had nothing to do and was probably bored, while Shinji always had plenty
to do. Asuka of course was still quite sick at this point and spent a lot of her time in bed
crying.
Actually it was Misato who noticed that Rei was bored, since Rei had never
really thought about it.
"Rei," Misato said one day long ago when she was up visiting. "You look bored,
you need a hobby. Why don't you fix the place up a bit, maybe a coat of paint, some
new trim perhaps?"
Little did Misato realize that she had actually had a significant impact on Rei's
life that day. It was just a casual comment, and Rei knew that, but she ran with it
anyway. One thing she had learned over that last couple year was that all the Eva pilots
tended to be a bit obsessive about things.
Rei opened the fridge and squatted down so she could peer into the furthest
reaches of the bottom shelf. She could see that Shinji had left her some noodles and a
salad. She grabbed both, stood up and closed the fridge door with her foot. The bowl
of noodles found itself in the microwave in seconds. The salad was already being eaten.
Rei was leaning against he counter in front of the sink salad bowl in one hand,
chopsticks in the other already eating.
She looked around the kitchen to see if either of her roommates had left her a
note. After a couple of second she found the note Asuka had left for Shinji.
'I still fail to understand the nature of this ongoing conflict over the window.' Rei
thought to herself.
The microware indicated that is was finished irradiating her lunch with a cheery
bleep. Rei opened the door and removed her noodles. She took both bowls over to the
kitchen table and set them down. She stood there for a moment looking at the bowls,
her eyes not really focused. Her eyes wandered across the table, then she looked up
and turned slowly in a circle. From her position she could see almost the entire cabin,
halfway through her rotation she saw what she was looking for.
She passed back through the kitchen to the chair she awoke in. On the side table
was a small stack of books, she tilted her head so she could read the titles on the spines
of the books. After a second of hesitation she took the send book in the pile and
returned to the table and sat down. Sitting at the table she opened the book, "Building
your own Fieldstone Fireplace" and rested her left elbow on it and continued to eat using
her right hand.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``
Notes to Self and Passers By:
Wow I actually got a second chapter out.
Much thank to Chesed and Weltall Elite for pre-reading and sorting me out.
It's starting to look like I'll be setting in to the 6000 to 8000 words range per installment.
Just enough to make it readable, but short enough I can hold it in my head and
concentrate.
I would like to point out that Toji is going to be a regular. Since 15 years have passed
since the Failure (that's what I'm calling 3I) a lot of stuff has happened. By making Toji
a teacher it allows me to fill in the gaps without boring you to tears by writing a history
textbook.
Next chapter we'll see what Asuka's doing as well as some other older characters. After
that the set up will be pretty much done and the real weirdness will begin.
Comments and Criticisms are always welcome, actually more that that I'm begging you
please tell me what you think.
Later Days
Ghola