Well, you couldn't go forever being a slayer without some sort of
apocalypse happening. After Fluffy and Gangel tortured Driley to death,
they were fast approaching Fluffy's prom and her graduation from English-as-
a-second-language school. Nyder, being a big retard that he was, had
decided to have a whole ceremony and everything, and even though he was a
freak and he hated Fluffy he still made her valedictorian of the whole
shindig. And, also because he was so stupid, he decided to hold the thing
at night.
Which was convenient, because then Gangel got to come and listen to Fluffy's special speech. She'd be the first cat valedictorian in the history of the Sunnydale English-as-a-second-language school. It was very exciting.
A vampire cat named Wike and his insane girlfriend Rusilla decided to get together with a guy called "The Bayor" who was planning to take over the world. They planned their ascension on graduation day and the Bayor made his plans. The Bayor was really some sort of freaky demon thing, but for then he just looked like a really up-tight cat.
Chillow was with Fara already at this point. Boz, however, had come back to beg her forgiveness, so he was running around making moon-eyes at her. Which was a really weird thing to watch a cat do.
Blander was already with Lanya, as well. Lanya had been very upset because she didn't have a prom date, so Blander agreed to go with her. Which, as always in the case of Lanya and Blander, led to the crazy monkey sex they were so famous for.
Shiles even had a date with a teacher-cat at the English-as-a-second- language school. Her name was Henny Valander, and she did some class with computer proficiency. Which was a stupid kind of class to have at a school devoted to teaching people (or cats) how to speak English, but they had it anyway. I suppose a lot of those non-English speaking illegal immigrants had never seen a computer in their third-world countries and needed to know how to use them to get any kind of job whatsoever. Even when you work at McDonalds you have to be able to use a computer, you know. Even if the buttons do have pictures on them.
Fluffy was very distracted around that time because she had to find appropriate formal wear for Gangel, who was going to the prom with her. And she had to find herself the perfect dress. Which was very difficult to do no matter what species you are. But it was particularly hard with Gangel, since he couldn't exactly come in for fittings during normal business hours without fear of bursting into flames and being dead. And then he wouldn't have been a very good prom date, now would he?
If Fluffy hadn't been so swept up in all of that (and you can't blame her for being swept up. Prom/graduation was one of the biggest milestones in her young life, after all!) she might have noticed that there was something odd going on in Sunnydale with Wike, Rusilla and the Bayor plotting. But Fluffy, not having been in an apocalypse situation before, didn't notice. It was probably all Shiles fault for not giving proper Apocalypse-situation training.
So the Bayor, Wike and Rusilla had an easy time plotting, right up until a week before prom, when Fluffy, thinking she was stumbling upon a little-known formal wear shop which may just have that perfect emerald- green dress with all the glitter (cats have dreams, too) walked right into their secret lair. They, being very unoriginal villains, were using an abandoned warehouse. If they had thought of something better they might have avoided all the trouble, but it was too late.
"What are you doing?" asked Fluffy as Wike and Rusilla ran away from the sun streaming in through the open door.
"Close the bloody door," yelled Wike.
"Hey, I know what you two are!" Said Fluffy. "You're vampire cats! But you don't look like a vampire-cat," she told the Bayor. "You look like a very upstanding, if slightly up-tight, citizen. Why, you could be the mayor! If these stupid prejudiced people would hire a cat for a mayor, that is."
"I am the Bayor," said the Bayor. "And those are my minions Wike and Rusilla. Rusilla is crazy."
"Her sire's what did it," Wike said. "He tortured her before he turned her. One of the smartest things that Gangelus did. Of course, then he got his soul and became Gangel. Glad the stupid git is gone."
"Did you say Gangel?" Asked Fluffy. Wike started to say something, but then Fluffy said, "no, shut up! I don't like it when you talk. You're very bitter, and it's annoying."
"Wow," said Rusilla. "She's saying what I've been thinking for years. Stop being so damn bitter, Wike."
Wike pouted.
"Stop arguing, minions! You only argue when I tell you to," the Bayor yelled. Wike and Rusilla cowered in a corner. If they were bad, the Bayor hit them and didn't give them any cookies. "I'm sorry," he said to Fluffy, "usually they have very good manners... oh, well. I didn't get them soon enough, I guess. You have to train minions young, you know, and these two have just come into my care. I'll beat some sense into them yet."
"I don't like you very much," said Fluffy, because she didn't. "And I think you're going to do something bad. But I have more important things to do right now, like look for appropriate formal wear. I'll bring Gangel back later to visit with his old friends."
"We'll still be here," the Bayor said. "If you want, I'll even tell you about my plan to take over the world!" He was very proud of his plan to take over the world. It was his very first plan ever.
So Fluffy went and got Gangel. "Gangel," she said, "while I was looking for formal wear I found some vampire-cats who said they used to know you. They are minions for someone called the Bayor, who is going to take over the world."
"Did you slay them all?" asked Gangel. (After all, it would've been the logical thing for her to do. But in the search for formal wear she'd forgotten all else."
"No, silly," Fluffy said. "I had to go find formal wear. By the way, try on this tuxedo, I think it's your size. Besides, I thought you might want to visit your old friends."
"I didn't have any friends before I met you," Gangel said, confused. "Oh! They must be from before I got my soul back and I was all evil. My name was Gangelus back then, did I tell you?"
"You were evil? Gangel, I think we need to have a serious talk. This is like telling me you'd slept with lots of other girls before you met me."
"But I did sleep with lots of other girls before I met you," said Gangel, not understanding the situation fully.
"What?!" Yelled Fluffy. "And all those times we had unprotected sex! You could've given me something."
"I'm a vampire with a soul, Fluffy. I can't get venereal disease or impregnate people. Except for this once, but that's a long story..."
"You have a kid?" said Fluffy, incredulous. "I don't know how I can ever trust you again..."
"Didn't you know? He's here ever weekend. You took him to put-put."
"Oh, the one in the animal-skins? Who has a tendency to attack people and cut off their ears? Well, I guess it's okay if it's a really cool kid like that."
Soon it was dark and they went to visit Wike, Rusilla and the Bayor.
"Oh, god, it's those two," groaned Gangel. He tried to leave before anyone saw him, but Fluffy wouldn't let him and Wike and Rusilla had already noticed he was there.
"Gangelus!" Yelled Rusilla happily. "You've come back to me. Oh, Gangelus, how I've missed you!"
"It's Gangel," said Gangel, "and I've not come back. Fluffy made me come. I hate you both and I want to watch you die slowly and painfully."
"Be polite, Gangel. We're guests, after all," said Fluffy as she and the Bayor sat on the couch sipping lattés and admiring the new doilies the Bayor had just crocheted. "I still don't like you," she told the Bayor, just to clarify. "But this is an excellent latte!"
"Can I tell you about my plan to take over the world now?" Asked the Bayor excitedly. He just loved telling people about it.
"Okay," said Fluffy reluctantly. She only said yes because if this was going to be a long story then she didn't have to listen; she could just concentrate on her latte. Fluffy was a cat who had a great appreciation for a good latte.
"I'm going to take over the world on the day the English-as-a-second- language-school has graduation—during their graduation actually, and," he began.
"Oh," interrupted Fluffy. "Could you wait until I finish my valedictorian speech? Gangel's coming to see me, and my family is driving up from LA and everything..."
"Oh, sure," said the Bayor. "No problem." And then he launched into a long and detailed description of his plans. Fluffy didn't pay any attention at all.
So finally Fluffy and Gangel left. It took even longer because Gangel had some trouble shaking off Wike and Rusilla, but the Bayor eventually made them go and sit in the corner after threatening them with a flogging and no dessert for a week. That put them in their place.
Soon it was prom time. Fluffy had found the perfect dress, and they'd finally gotten Gangel a tuxedo that fit after breaking into the Formal Wear shop one night. Prom was lots of great fun. They danced and everything, and Fluffy was crowned Prom Queen. Gangel, somehow, was Prom King, which was infinitely odd since he didn't even go to the English-as-a-second-language school. Fluffy suspected the Shiles and Henny had something to do with it.
"Consider it your birthday present," Shiles said.
"You blew all of your money on booze, didn't you?" Fluffy asked him knowingly.
"It wasn't booze!" Cried Shiles indignantly. "It was a rare set of books about this certain breed of demon."
"Books? These must've been some important books. What does this demon do? Spit fire? Shoot poisoned arrows out of its butt?"
"No.... it's the size of a bunny and it looks a lot like a bunny and it doesn't eat and it doesn't move a whole lot and it doesn't hurt anything," Shiles said lamely.
"Like a bunny?" yelled Lanya in fear. "What a horrid, horrid demon. Kill it, Shiles, kill it!" Everyone looked at Lanya funny.
Soon it was graduation day. Gangel had a nice seat right next to Fluffy's family (all of them humans, it seems) and Fluffy gave a very nice speech about how happy she was to finally be able to speak English, because it meant she could insult the humans properly, and how tough it had been since she'd been out slaying demons all the time and screwing her boyfriend with the soul, but she'd done it and it was great fun. Chillow and Blander were also there in their little graduation robes. Bordelia, consequently, had gone to LA, where she moved in with Fluffy's family and became a big time Hollywood actress. (You can frequently see her on Fresh Step commercials.)
Just after Chillow had walked across the stage, the Bayor showed up. "Hi, Fluffy," he called. "I'm going to take over the world now! I really liked your speech."
"Thanks," said Fluffy. The Bayor turned into a big, giant chameleon and ate Nyder. Everyone cheered, until giant-chameleon-Bayor started reeking havoc on them all. (Wike and Rusilla quietly slipped out the back when they realized that Fluffy was going to do her slaying thing now.)
With Nyder dead, all of the students were really happy and didn't really want to kill the giant chameleon that had done the great, wonderful thing, but then the giant chameleon stepped on their cell phones. And that was just going too far. They could put up with it smashing their parents and everything, but you did not mess with their cell phones. So they all ganged up on it and beat it with folding chairs. Then, they threw a graduation luau and roasted it. Giant chameleon, it turns out, is a really great dish to serve at large parties.
"That was weird," said Fluffy. But she shrugged it off and went to have sex with Gangel. Because cats have needs too.
Which was convenient, because then Gangel got to come and listen to Fluffy's special speech. She'd be the first cat valedictorian in the history of the Sunnydale English-as-a-second-language school. It was very exciting.
A vampire cat named Wike and his insane girlfriend Rusilla decided to get together with a guy called "The Bayor" who was planning to take over the world. They planned their ascension on graduation day and the Bayor made his plans. The Bayor was really some sort of freaky demon thing, but for then he just looked like a really up-tight cat.
Chillow was with Fara already at this point. Boz, however, had come back to beg her forgiveness, so he was running around making moon-eyes at her. Which was a really weird thing to watch a cat do.
Blander was already with Lanya, as well. Lanya had been very upset because she didn't have a prom date, so Blander agreed to go with her. Which, as always in the case of Lanya and Blander, led to the crazy monkey sex they were so famous for.
Shiles even had a date with a teacher-cat at the English-as-a-second- language school. Her name was Henny Valander, and she did some class with computer proficiency. Which was a stupid kind of class to have at a school devoted to teaching people (or cats) how to speak English, but they had it anyway. I suppose a lot of those non-English speaking illegal immigrants had never seen a computer in their third-world countries and needed to know how to use them to get any kind of job whatsoever. Even when you work at McDonalds you have to be able to use a computer, you know. Even if the buttons do have pictures on them.
Fluffy was very distracted around that time because she had to find appropriate formal wear for Gangel, who was going to the prom with her. And she had to find herself the perfect dress. Which was very difficult to do no matter what species you are. But it was particularly hard with Gangel, since he couldn't exactly come in for fittings during normal business hours without fear of bursting into flames and being dead. And then he wouldn't have been a very good prom date, now would he?
If Fluffy hadn't been so swept up in all of that (and you can't blame her for being swept up. Prom/graduation was one of the biggest milestones in her young life, after all!) she might have noticed that there was something odd going on in Sunnydale with Wike, Rusilla and the Bayor plotting. But Fluffy, not having been in an apocalypse situation before, didn't notice. It was probably all Shiles fault for not giving proper Apocalypse-situation training.
So the Bayor, Wike and Rusilla had an easy time plotting, right up until a week before prom, when Fluffy, thinking she was stumbling upon a little-known formal wear shop which may just have that perfect emerald- green dress with all the glitter (cats have dreams, too) walked right into their secret lair. They, being very unoriginal villains, were using an abandoned warehouse. If they had thought of something better they might have avoided all the trouble, but it was too late.
"What are you doing?" asked Fluffy as Wike and Rusilla ran away from the sun streaming in through the open door.
"Close the bloody door," yelled Wike.
"Hey, I know what you two are!" Said Fluffy. "You're vampire cats! But you don't look like a vampire-cat," she told the Bayor. "You look like a very upstanding, if slightly up-tight, citizen. Why, you could be the mayor! If these stupid prejudiced people would hire a cat for a mayor, that is."
"I am the Bayor," said the Bayor. "And those are my minions Wike and Rusilla. Rusilla is crazy."
"Her sire's what did it," Wike said. "He tortured her before he turned her. One of the smartest things that Gangelus did. Of course, then he got his soul and became Gangel. Glad the stupid git is gone."
"Did you say Gangel?" Asked Fluffy. Wike started to say something, but then Fluffy said, "no, shut up! I don't like it when you talk. You're very bitter, and it's annoying."
"Wow," said Rusilla. "She's saying what I've been thinking for years. Stop being so damn bitter, Wike."
Wike pouted.
"Stop arguing, minions! You only argue when I tell you to," the Bayor yelled. Wike and Rusilla cowered in a corner. If they were bad, the Bayor hit them and didn't give them any cookies. "I'm sorry," he said to Fluffy, "usually they have very good manners... oh, well. I didn't get them soon enough, I guess. You have to train minions young, you know, and these two have just come into my care. I'll beat some sense into them yet."
"I don't like you very much," said Fluffy, because she didn't. "And I think you're going to do something bad. But I have more important things to do right now, like look for appropriate formal wear. I'll bring Gangel back later to visit with his old friends."
"We'll still be here," the Bayor said. "If you want, I'll even tell you about my plan to take over the world!" He was very proud of his plan to take over the world. It was his very first plan ever.
So Fluffy went and got Gangel. "Gangel," she said, "while I was looking for formal wear I found some vampire-cats who said they used to know you. They are minions for someone called the Bayor, who is going to take over the world."
"Did you slay them all?" asked Gangel. (After all, it would've been the logical thing for her to do. But in the search for formal wear she'd forgotten all else."
"No, silly," Fluffy said. "I had to go find formal wear. By the way, try on this tuxedo, I think it's your size. Besides, I thought you might want to visit your old friends."
"I didn't have any friends before I met you," Gangel said, confused. "Oh! They must be from before I got my soul back and I was all evil. My name was Gangelus back then, did I tell you?"
"You were evil? Gangel, I think we need to have a serious talk. This is like telling me you'd slept with lots of other girls before you met me."
"But I did sleep with lots of other girls before I met you," said Gangel, not understanding the situation fully.
"What?!" Yelled Fluffy. "And all those times we had unprotected sex! You could've given me something."
"I'm a vampire with a soul, Fluffy. I can't get venereal disease or impregnate people. Except for this once, but that's a long story..."
"You have a kid?" said Fluffy, incredulous. "I don't know how I can ever trust you again..."
"Didn't you know? He's here ever weekend. You took him to put-put."
"Oh, the one in the animal-skins? Who has a tendency to attack people and cut off their ears? Well, I guess it's okay if it's a really cool kid like that."
Soon it was dark and they went to visit Wike, Rusilla and the Bayor.
"Oh, god, it's those two," groaned Gangel. He tried to leave before anyone saw him, but Fluffy wouldn't let him and Wike and Rusilla had already noticed he was there.
"Gangelus!" Yelled Rusilla happily. "You've come back to me. Oh, Gangelus, how I've missed you!"
"It's Gangel," said Gangel, "and I've not come back. Fluffy made me come. I hate you both and I want to watch you die slowly and painfully."
"Be polite, Gangel. We're guests, after all," said Fluffy as she and the Bayor sat on the couch sipping lattés and admiring the new doilies the Bayor had just crocheted. "I still don't like you," she told the Bayor, just to clarify. "But this is an excellent latte!"
"Can I tell you about my plan to take over the world now?" Asked the Bayor excitedly. He just loved telling people about it.
"Okay," said Fluffy reluctantly. She only said yes because if this was going to be a long story then she didn't have to listen; she could just concentrate on her latte. Fluffy was a cat who had a great appreciation for a good latte.
"I'm going to take over the world on the day the English-as-a-second- language-school has graduation—during their graduation actually, and," he began.
"Oh," interrupted Fluffy. "Could you wait until I finish my valedictorian speech? Gangel's coming to see me, and my family is driving up from LA and everything..."
"Oh, sure," said the Bayor. "No problem." And then he launched into a long and detailed description of his plans. Fluffy didn't pay any attention at all.
So finally Fluffy and Gangel left. It took even longer because Gangel had some trouble shaking off Wike and Rusilla, but the Bayor eventually made them go and sit in the corner after threatening them with a flogging and no dessert for a week. That put them in their place.
Soon it was prom time. Fluffy had found the perfect dress, and they'd finally gotten Gangel a tuxedo that fit after breaking into the Formal Wear shop one night. Prom was lots of great fun. They danced and everything, and Fluffy was crowned Prom Queen. Gangel, somehow, was Prom King, which was infinitely odd since he didn't even go to the English-as-a-second-language school. Fluffy suspected the Shiles and Henny had something to do with it.
"Consider it your birthday present," Shiles said.
"You blew all of your money on booze, didn't you?" Fluffy asked him knowingly.
"It wasn't booze!" Cried Shiles indignantly. "It was a rare set of books about this certain breed of demon."
"Books? These must've been some important books. What does this demon do? Spit fire? Shoot poisoned arrows out of its butt?"
"No.... it's the size of a bunny and it looks a lot like a bunny and it doesn't eat and it doesn't move a whole lot and it doesn't hurt anything," Shiles said lamely.
"Like a bunny?" yelled Lanya in fear. "What a horrid, horrid demon. Kill it, Shiles, kill it!" Everyone looked at Lanya funny.
Soon it was graduation day. Gangel had a nice seat right next to Fluffy's family (all of them humans, it seems) and Fluffy gave a very nice speech about how happy she was to finally be able to speak English, because it meant she could insult the humans properly, and how tough it had been since she'd been out slaying demons all the time and screwing her boyfriend with the soul, but she'd done it and it was great fun. Chillow and Blander were also there in their little graduation robes. Bordelia, consequently, had gone to LA, where she moved in with Fluffy's family and became a big time Hollywood actress. (You can frequently see her on Fresh Step commercials.)
Just after Chillow had walked across the stage, the Bayor showed up. "Hi, Fluffy," he called. "I'm going to take over the world now! I really liked your speech."
"Thanks," said Fluffy. The Bayor turned into a big, giant chameleon and ate Nyder. Everyone cheered, until giant-chameleon-Bayor started reeking havoc on them all. (Wike and Rusilla quietly slipped out the back when they realized that Fluffy was going to do her slaying thing now.)
With Nyder dead, all of the students were really happy and didn't really want to kill the giant chameleon that had done the great, wonderful thing, but then the giant chameleon stepped on their cell phones. And that was just going too far. They could put up with it smashing their parents and everything, but you did not mess with their cell phones. So they all ganged up on it and beat it with folding chairs. Then, they threw a graduation luau and roasted it. Giant chameleon, it turns out, is a really great dish to serve at large parties.
"That was weird," said Fluffy. But she shrugged it off and went to have sex with Gangel. Because cats have needs too.