She turned the card over and over in her hand. Dr.Jefferies-
Psychoanalyst. She'd been sitting by the phone for over an hour. Her
daughter was only 6 years old and she was thinking of taking her to a
shrink. The tantrums had become worse, she'd become violent with Monica,
and Monica had been called in to her school on numerous occasions, this was
her last hope. What if it didn't help? What if there were no answers?
These were the questions that stopped her from picking up the phone and
dialling. What if there was nothing she could do and her daughter would be
like this forever? She eventually gave in and dialled.
They'd decided it was best for just Monica to go to the first session, to answer some questions and try and understand why, and now here she was waiting outside his office to be called in. She knew they'd talk about Chandler, and she dreaded it. After her talk with Ella, she'd felt better and even started to get on with life. She knew now though she'd have to start bringing up things, bring back those memories she didn't want to live with, and come to the eventual reason that she was the cause of her daughters problems. Eventually she was called in to his office and the interrogation began.
"What about her Father?" Dr.Jefferies asked, after they'd gone over Ella's behaviour and problems.
"He died before she was born" Monica said, sadly.
Dr.Jefferies shot up "Do you ever talk about him?"
"Not really, it's a sensitive subject for me" Monica said.
"Does she remind you of him?" He asked.
Monica nodded softly.
"Do you feel sometimes you can't look at her because it hurts to much?"
Monica didn't like the therapist, he was telling her everything she already knew deep down. Her misery was causing her daughter pain, her self-blame was being transferred onto her child, and she was making her child feel guilty for that pain.
"Have you had any partners since the death of your husband?"
"No" Monica said.
"So your daughter has never really had anyone to look to as a father figure or any men around her?"
"No" Monica said, tears forming in her eyes as the true realisation began to dawn on her.
They had talked for two hours. The Dr had suggested she try and see some more men, go on dates etc. This would not only be good for Monica, a step into finally getting over it, this change would also transfer onto her daughter. Most importantly it would allow more people into her daughters life, especially the contact of a man, she needed a father or at least someone she could look to as one. The most important thing missing in Ella's life was a father.
Monica walked out of the Drs office, planning to see him in a month or so, Monica felt both relieved and sad at the same time. Relieved that finally there were answers to everything she had been asking the whole time, but sad that she was the main cause of her daughters problems. She felt guilty, not only for her daughter's sake but she felt like she had let Chandler down. Right now she needed him more than any time, but right now was the time she needed to let go, she needed to let go for her daughter.
Ella seemed to be more settled, as Monica tried to be more connected and more positive towards her daughter.
"What's that bear called?" Monica asked, at their fake tea party.
"That's Tree-bore" Ella said.
"And that one?" Monica said, pointing to a Barbie doll.
"Tree-Bore"
"They all have the same name?" Monica asked.
"Yeah" Ella answered.
"How come?" Monica asked.
"Because Tree-bore told me"
"Which one?"
"That one" Ella said, pointing to the empty chair at the end of the table.
This behaviour was better than the tantrums, the screaming and the violence, but something about it was more disturbing and more unsettling about it. Monica had talked with Dr.Jefferies about it. He said it was common among children in replacing something that wasn't there, in other words she'd created an imaginary friend to imitate a father.
Monica was pleased things had become much better with Ella, she had calmed down a lot more since Monica had tried to be a lot happier and been more interested in her. She'd even been getting along well with a guy from work. He had a child, which he only saw at the weekend, after going through a painful divorce the year before. Monica and this guy had a lot in common, they'd talked about going on a few dates, and already seemed pretty close as friends. She decided she'd try and reach one of her sessions goals and actually go out on a date.
"Yeah, but did you see the look on the waiters face!" Mike said, causing Monica to erupt in a fit of laughter. She hadn't laughed like that in ages, and it felt great.
"So you wanna come in and get some coffee?" Monica asked, to which Mike nodded and they stepped inside. Monica paid the babysitter and put the kettle on as Mike sat down on the couch.
Monica joined him and passed him his coffee. They began to start talking again when Ella appeared in the doorway.
"Hey, baby shouldn't you be asleep" Monica asked
"I DON'T WANT HIM TO!" She shouted, Mike just sat there looking shocked.
"What's wrong baby?"
"NO, TREE-BORE I DON'T WANT HIM TO!" she shouted again, this time as if to someone standing behind her.
"Baby, calm down it's ok"
Mike stood up to leave. Ella jumped up in fits of tears and started hitting Mike.
"DON'T! STOP IT! I DON'T WANT YOU HERE!" She screamed kicking his legs.
Monica grabbed her and pulled her away. Mike didn't know what to do so he grabbed his coat and snuck out the door.
Suddenly Ella stopped and calmed down. Instead of the screaming she began sobbing.
"But tree-bore, I don't want him to take mummy away. No, it isn't tree- bore, I don't care if you like him I don't, everything will be ok if you're here tree-bore" Monica just stood there shocked listening to the conversation she was having with her imaginary friend.
"I know tree-bore, and I love mummy too"
Monica was touched, but at the same time a little disturbed by the unpredictability and strangeness of the behaviour, it was all starting again, the Dr. had been wrong. Finally Ella stopped crying and Monica took her to bed.
She walked back into the lounge and looked at the couch, and realised Mike had left a long time ago. Monica did what she'd stopped herself doing the past month. She sat down and cried.
She had stopped seeing the Dr after the incident with Mike. She still saw Mike at work but they decided they were best as friends; it would be better for Ella that way.
Ella had not had a tantrum since the incident with Mike; Monica reverted to just being more positive with her, spending lots of time with her and reassuring her she loved her very much. Tree-bore was still making 'appearances', and it was still unsettling to Monica, at least it was better than the tantrums, she would tell herself, to try and put herself at ease.
A few weeks later Monica and Ella were drawing picture at the kitchen table. Monica was beginning to genuinely enjoy spending time with her, without having to put on some happy front.
"Look at my picture mama, it's Tree-bore"
Monica looked at it and smiled "That's not how you spell Tree-bore" Monica said, correcting her spelling from 'Trebor'.
"Yes it is, Trebor told me!" She exclaimed
Monica just smiled at her, and took the drawing and said, "Shall we put it up on the fridge?"
Ella screamed excitedly and rushed over to put it up and hold it on with magnets.
The next day Monica was cleaning in the kitchen, while Ella was at school, and suddenly she heard something fall behind her. Ella's drawing and two magnets lay on the floor, and Monica turned to pick them up.
Her drawing had fallen face down and when Monica went to pick it up she realised something.
She stared at the lettering coming through from the front and her heart stopped as she realised.
Trebor backwards was Robert.
Monica couldn't believe it; she knelt down on the floor and cried. Chandler was there all along, and he was still being so sweet and so funny, just like it was in the beginning, reminding Monica of that same beginning when they first met and what she had said, symbolising the time when everything so great had begun. Everything began to make more sense, he had helped her, he had been around for Ella when things started to get rough, he'd been there to replace the tantrums.
As soon as he had reminded Monica and she had kept her promise, by giving Ella the key ring, Chandler had kept his and come back to be with her and help her.
All the pain was lifted. Monica knew everything was going to be all right because Chandler was there. If everything was going to be all right for Monica, then everything would be all right for Ella.
THE END.
Hope you all enjoyed it, I suggest you read it again especially the bit with Mike, now you know that its Chandler and you can see how cute he is. If anyone wants to email me for any reason its - Boothers85@aol.com. Thanks to everyone for all the great reviews, and JenniGellerBing you see now why I couldn't have a boy called Robert ;).
They'd decided it was best for just Monica to go to the first session, to answer some questions and try and understand why, and now here she was waiting outside his office to be called in. She knew they'd talk about Chandler, and she dreaded it. After her talk with Ella, she'd felt better and even started to get on with life. She knew now though she'd have to start bringing up things, bring back those memories she didn't want to live with, and come to the eventual reason that she was the cause of her daughters problems. Eventually she was called in to his office and the interrogation began.
"What about her Father?" Dr.Jefferies asked, after they'd gone over Ella's behaviour and problems.
"He died before she was born" Monica said, sadly.
Dr.Jefferies shot up "Do you ever talk about him?"
"Not really, it's a sensitive subject for me" Monica said.
"Does she remind you of him?" He asked.
Monica nodded softly.
"Do you feel sometimes you can't look at her because it hurts to much?"
Monica didn't like the therapist, he was telling her everything she already knew deep down. Her misery was causing her daughter pain, her self-blame was being transferred onto her child, and she was making her child feel guilty for that pain.
"Have you had any partners since the death of your husband?"
"No" Monica said.
"So your daughter has never really had anyone to look to as a father figure or any men around her?"
"No" Monica said, tears forming in her eyes as the true realisation began to dawn on her.
They had talked for two hours. The Dr had suggested she try and see some more men, go on dates etc. This would not only be good for Monica, a step into finally getting over it, this change would also transfer onto her daughter. Most importantly it would allow more people into her daughters life, especially the contact of a man, she needed a father or at least someone she could look to as one. The most important thing missing in Ella's life was a father.
Monica walked out of the Drs office, planning to see him in a month or so, Monica felt both relieved and sad at the same time. Relieved that finally there were answers to everything she had been asking the whole time, but sad that she was the main cause of her daughters problems. She felt guilty, not only for her daughter's sake but she felt like she had let Chandler down. Right now she needed him more than any time, but right now was the time she needed to let go, she needed to let go for her daughter.
Ella seemed to be more settled, as Monica tried to be more connected and more positive towards her daughter.
"What's that bear called?" Monica asked, at their fake tea party.
"That's Tree-bore" Ella said.
"And that one?" Monica said, pointing to a Barbie doll.
"Tree-Bore"
"They all have the same name?" Monica asked.
"Yeah" Ella answered.
"How come?" Monica asked.
"Because Tree-bore told me"
"Which one?"
"That one" Ella said, pointing to the empty chair at the end of the table.
This behaviour was better than the tantrums, the screaming and the violence, but something about it was more disturbing and more unsettling about it. Monica had talked with Dr.Jefferies about it. He said it was common among children in replacing something that wasn't there, in other words she'd created an imaginary friend to imitate a father.
Monica was pleased things had become much better with Ella, she had calmed down a lot more since Monica had tried to be a lot happier and been more interested in her. She'd even been getting along well with a guy from work. He had a child, which he only saw at the weekend, after going through a painful divorce the year before. Monica and this guy had a lot in common, they'd talked about going on a few dates, and already seemed pretty close as friends. She decided she'd try and reach one of her sessions goals and actually go out on a date.
"Yeah, but did you see the look on the waiters face!" Mike said, causing Monica to erupt in a fit of laughter. She hadn't laughed like that in ages, and it felt great.
"So you wanna come in and get some coffee?" Monica asked, to which Mike nodded and they stepped inside. Monica paid the babysitter and put the kettle on as Mike sat down on the couch.
Monica joined him and passed him his coffee. They began to start talking again when Ella appeared in the doorway.
"Hey, baby shouldn't you be asleep" Monica asked
"I DON'T WANT HIM TO!" She shouted, Mike just sat there looking shocked.
"What's wrong baby?"
"NO, TREE-BORE I DON'T WANT HIM TO!" she shouted again, this time as if to someone standing behind her.
"Baby, calm down it's ok"
Mike stood up to leave. Ella jumped up in fits of tears and started hitting Mike.
"DON'T! STOP IT! I DON'T WANT YOU HERE!" She screamed kicking his legs.
Monica grabbed her and pulled her away. Mike didn't know what to do so he grabbed his coat and snuck out the door.
Suddenly Ella stopped and calmed down. Instead of the screaming she began sobbing.
"But tree-bore, I don't want him to take mummy away. No, it isn't tree- bore, I don't care if you like him I don't, everything will be ok if you're here tree-bore" Monica just stood there shocked listening to the conversation she was having with her imaginary friend.
"I know tree-bore, and I love mummy too"
Monica was touched, but at the same time a little disturbed by the unpredictability and strangeness of the behaviour, it was all starting again, the Dr. had been wrong. Finally Ella stopped crying and Monica took her to bed.
She walked back into the lounge and looked at the couch, and realised Mike had left a long time ago. Monica did what she'd stopped herself doing the past month. She sat down and cried.
She had stopped seeing the Dr after the incident with Mike. She still saw Mike at work but they decided they were best as friends; it would be better for Ella that way.
Ella had not had a tantrum since the incident with Mike; Monica reverted to just being more positive with her, spending lots of time with her and reassuring her she loved her very much. Tree-bore was still making 'appearances', and it was still unsettling to Monica, at least it was better than the tantrums, she would tell herself, to try and put herself at ease.
A few weeks later Monica and Ella were drawing picture at the kitchen table. Monica was beginning to genuinely enjoy spending time with her, without having to put on some happy front.
"Look at my picture mama, it's Tree-bore"
Monica looked at it and smiled "That's not how you spell Tree-bore" Monica said, correcting her spelling from 'Trebor'.
"Yes it is, Trebor told me!" She exclaimed
Monica just smiled at her, and took the drawing and said, "Shall we put it up on the fridge?"
Ella screamed excitedly and rushed over to put it up and hold it on with magnets.
The next day Monica was cleaning in the kitchen, while Ella was at school, and suddenly she heard something fall behind her. Ella's drawing and two magnets lay on the floor, and Monica turned to pick them up.
Her drawing had fallen face down and when Monica went to pick it up she realised something.
She stared at the lettering coming through from the front and her heart stopped as she realised.
Trebor backwards was Robert.
Monica couldn't believe it; she knelt down on the floor and cried. Chandler was there all along, and he was still being so sweet and so funny, just like it was in the beginning, reminding Monica of that same beginning when they first met and what she had said, symbolising the time when everything so great had begun. Everything began to make more sense, he had helped her, he had been around for Ella when things started to get rough, he'd been there to replace the tantrums.
As soon as he had reminded Monica and she had kept her promise, by giving Ella the key ring, Chandler had kept his and come back to be with her and help her.
All the pain was lifted. Monica knew everything was going to be all right because Chandler was there. If everything was going to be all right for Monica, then everything would be all right for Ella.
THE END.
Hope you all enjoyed it, I suggest you read it again especially the bit with Mike, now you know that its Chandler and you can see how cute he is. If anyone wants to email me for any reason its - Boothers85@aol.com. Thanks to everyone for all the great reviews, and JenniGellerBing you see now why I couldn't have a boy called Robert ;).