Now, Fluffy, Gangel and Ronnor were very happy for a while after they
killed off Lawn. Everyone was really, really glad that she was dead ("Wow!
I'm so glad that freak Lawn is dead!" said Blander once, pretty much
summing up everyone's feelings). They had a big "Lawn is Dead" party to
celebrate, where they ate lots and lots of pistachio ice cream and had a
water slide and everything! Although the water slide wasn't all that big of
a hit since all the guests were cats and there was no pool.
The social workers, after discovering how they'd all killed Lawn as a family and helped out their new friend Flory too, let Ronnor come live with Gangel full-time. Although he was hanging with Fluffy a lot during the day. They were best friends. With each other. Flory was really thankful for all their help and would write them letters from the hell-dimension she was ruling. ("Dear Fluffy, Gangel, Ronnor and the rest of you mere-mortals, today I killed any of my subjects who were disloyal. I've enclosed a few ears for Ronnor. Then I ate pistachio ice cream. Has Mahmood gotten any yet? If he hasn't then you have every right to take his body parts. You know, Ronnor, you really ought to think about expanding your horizons to fingers, toes, tongues and other unmentionables, for those really pesky customers. How's things there in your dimension? Love, Flory.")
And, Chillow and Fara were getting really into their relationship. Fara, for a while, had thought that Chillow was using too much magic. But then Chillow conjured up a foot massager for Fara and Fara realized that you could never use too much magic. Although she did make Chillow go to rehab for using it like a drug. ("No, Chillow! I refuse to date an addict! Where's my crack cocaine?")
Everyone was pretty happy. Blander and Lanya were engaged and everything. They had a wedding set up, and Wike was back in town. Rusilla had left him for another cat/demon. He was heart broken at first, but then turned to booze and hookers for his cheep thrills. And since he was a very shallow cat/vampire anyhow, it worked for him and he didn't have any empty space at all. Or so he told himself and anyone that would listen.
One day Fluffy walked into a demon nest and found a bunch of demons playing poker for kittens. "Kitten poker?" asked Fluffy. "Kittens are stupid currency." Then she noticed that one of the kittens looked just like her! And she followed it home (after making friends with one of the cat/demons playing kitten poker. His name was Zem) and found it living with a loving cat mom and dad in a nice little house.
"My name is Fluffy, and I look just like your kid," Fluffy said.
"You must be our long lost daughter who the humans stole before we saved up enough to get our own place!" Said the mom cat, Mrs. Cat. "You look like such a nice young cat. Welcome to our family. What have you made of your life?"
"I am a vampire slayer. I have a big house all to myself and a vampire boyfriend with a soul. He has a kid named Ronnor who is my best friend ever. And I was valedictorian at my English-as-a-second-language school. I also killed my false little sister Lawn."
"The English-as-a-second-language school the giant chameleon destroyed? Wow! I'd love to meet your boyfriend and his son. And see you doing your interesting work. And we never had a kid named Lawn, but we saw her on the street once. Kudos for getting rid of her so well. You're a real problem solver, sweetheart," Said Mr. Cat. "We sure love you, Fluffy."
"I love you too mom and dad." Fluffy said. And then she went home to watch Muppet Treasure Island.
Soon it was time for Blander and Lanya's wedding. Fluffy, Chillow and Fara were the bridesmaids. Shiles was to give Lanya away while Henny Valander watched tearfully from the front row, masquerading as Lanya's mother. (Lanya, as a former demon, had neither parents nor a last name) and they were having it on a very rainy day which meant that Gangel could safely come. So could Wike. Zem was also invited. Everybody really liked Zem a whole lot. He enjoyed vacuuming and giving people snacks, and hosting poker games. (They'd changed their currency from kittens to body parts, in honor of Ronnor. When the body parts ran low, Ronnor went out to gather more. Or they would just play for Fritos if Ronnor ran out of victims.)
Twenty minutes before the wedding was supposed to start, Blander disappeared. A funky demon who was pissed at Lanya for cursing him was trying to get him to break Lanya's heart. And he succeeded. Blander called off the wedding. Hurt and pissed off, Lanya ran off and became a vengeance demon again, only to discover that she could not grant her own wishes. So, she slept with Wike on a web cam instead. And she discovered that she was really, truly in love with Wike. Wike's empty space, which he'd tried so hard to ignore, filled right up. (Wike had been unable to kill things for quite some time due to Driley's military operatives, so they hadn't killed him yet.) He cried on Lanya's lap about how sad and lonely he'd been. Then she moved into his crypt with him. Blander was justly pissed off and heart broken. He'd wanted to stay with Lanya, but she didn't love him. And now he had an empty place instead of she and Wike.
Zem offered him hors d'ouvres and vacuumed his living room sympathetically. "Look, Blander," Zem said, "I understand you're heart broken, but maybe she'd have been more understanding if you weren't such a slob!" Blander, who was too poor to hire a maid, only cried harder because he hated living in his own filth but was too lazy to do anything about it. "Careful!" Cried Zem. "You're about to spill your booze all over the carpet! And could you not cry on the sofa. It's suede, and I just cleaned it."
About that time, three geeks who had been in Fluffy's class at English-as-a-second-language school decided to take over Sunnydale. Their names were Quarren, Nonathan, and Mandrew. Quarren was the smart one and Nonathan and Mandrew were his stupid minions. But they were in denial so they didn't notice that they were only Quarren's butt monkeys.
Quarren wanted to kill Fluffy, since then he could be king of Sunnydale. So he went and tried to shoot Fluffy in her back yard.
At this time, one of Bordelia's buddies from LA was visiting. Her name was Led and she had been in another dimension, too. She talked too much and she was very annoying. Quarren came into Fluffy's back yard, where Fluffy was about to poison Led with some arsenic and make her die, and started firing his gun. He succeeded in shooting Led instead of Fluffy (which prompted Fluffy to screech with joy and do the hula) and firing a shot through the window and right into Fara, who had just finished having sex with Chillow.
"Fara!" Screamed Chillow. She really loved Fara a whole lot and was exceedingly upset that Fara might be dead.
"That blood is going to be a bitch to get out of the carpet," muttered Zem, who was somehow there.
Chillow rushed to the magic shop that Shiles and Henny Valander owned together and where Lanya worked. She got the dark magic books and stuck her paws inside them and then all her fur turned black and her eyes turned black and she was evil-wicca-cat Chillow! Very, very scary, Chillow.
Chillow decided she was just going to have to kill Quarren and his butt-monkeys. Even though the butt-monkeys had been thrown in jail and had basically nothing to do with the whole thing. They'd still been friends with Quarren.
Lanya jumped up from behind the counter, where she'd been screwing Wike, and asked Chillow what she was doing. Fluffy, Blander, Ronnor and Gangel had just walked in. (It was nighttime.)
"I'm going on a killing rampage," Chillow told them all, shooting sparks out of her fingers.
"Sounds like fun," Fluffy said. "More power to you, Chill."
"I'll help," said Ronnor.
"Now Ronnor, you haven't been invited," scolded Gangel. "Chillow's lover has just been violently murdered. I think that she's going to want to do this on her own."
"Yes, thank you, Gangel," Chillow said. "But I'd like it if you could come along and watch. We haven't had a group outing in a long time." So they all agreed to go along with Chillow. It would be great fun, the decided.
First, Chillow found Quarren. And she ripped his skin off. "Cool!" Cried Ronnor happily. "Could you teach me that sometime, Aunt Chillow?"
"Sure," said Chillow, visiting her magic-junkie place and sucking all the magic-drugs out of Nack the magic-drug-pimp. They went and found Nonathan and Mandrew and killed them slowly and painfully. They really liked that, too. Then Chillow got bored and raised a satanic temple right in the middle of the park, next to the sandbox and the slide. It was a nice touch in the park. She was going to try to end the world, but when she saw that the so-called hell goddess was just a really messed up looking my- sized Barbie which glowed she decided against it.
"That was fun," Gangel said. "Lets all go and get some pistachio ice cream." So the did. They went to Mahmood's ice-cream shop and he was out of pistachio ice cream. They'd have thought that he'd have learned by then, but he hadn't. So they all had to beat him. And Chillow shot little sparks out of her fingers and set strategically placed napkins on fire. Ronnor ran around waving his big giant knife in Mahmood's face. Mahmood cried and begged for mercy until they got out the duct tape and made his mouth go shut.
Boz came back. "Chillow, I still love you," he said.
Chillow looked him over real fast and said, "Okay, I'm not gay anymore." So she kissed Boz and they were back together. Then everyone went home. Boz and Chillow went to the apartment that was formerly Chillow and Fara's to have sex, and Fluffy went home with Gangel and Ronnor watched Muppet Treasure Island while they had sex. Lanya and Wike resumed having sex. Even Shiles and Henny Valander went to have sex at their house. Blander was the only one who wasn't having sex. So he sat around and watched VH1-Behing the Music.
And when everyone was finished, they had a great, giant party called the "Led is Dead" party, which was really cool because it rhymed. They served giant chameleon and did the hula and had a limbo contest. Fluffy's new parents came, and Flory sent them a pot-roast from her hell dimension, and Boz's band played music. Fluffy made a few bucks by renting out all the bedrooms and broom closets to couples (except her parents got to go for free) and Mrs. Cat showed Ronnor how to make a memory quilt out of all the ears he had. Then Mr. Cat went to Gangel's house and hung it on the wall in Ronnor's room. All in all it was a great party.
AN: Any ideas for more big-bads would be greatly appreciated. I'm running low on "Fluffy" ideas but I still want to write more.
The social workers, after discovering how they'd all killed Lawn as a family and helped out their new friend Flory too, let Ronnor come live with Gangel full-time. Although he was hanging with Fluffy a lot during the day. They were best friends. With each other. Flory was really thankful for all their help and would write them letters from the hell-dimension she was ruling. ("Dear Fluffy, Gangel, Ronnor and the rest of you mere-mortals, today I killed any of my subjects who were disloyal. I've enclosed a few ears for Ronnor. Then I ate pistachio ice cream. Has Mahmood gotten any yet? If he hasn't then you have every right to take his body parts. You know, Ronnor, you really ought to think about expanding your horizons to fingers, toes, tongues and other unmentionables, for those really pesky customers. How's things there in your dimension? Love, Flory.")
And, Chillow and Fara were getting really into their relationship. Fara, for a while, had thought that Chillow was using too much magic. But then Chillow conjured up a foot massager for Fara and Fara realized that you could never use too much magic. Although she did make Chillow go to rehab for using it like a drug. ("No, Chillow! I refuse to date an addict! Where's my crack cocaine?")
Everyone was pretty happy. Blander and Lanya were engaged and everything. They had a wedding set up, and Wike was back in town. Rusilla had left him for another cat/demon. He was heart broken at first, but then turned to booze and hookers for his cheep thrills. And since he was a very shallow cat/vampire anyhow, it worked for him and he didn't have any empty space at all. Or so he told himself and anyone that would listen.
One day Fluffy walked into a demon nest and found a bunch of demons playing poker for kittens. "Kitten poker?" asked Fluffy. "Kittens are stupid currency." Then she noticed that one of the kittens looked just like her! And she followed it home (after making friends with one of the cat/demons playing kitten poker. His name was Zem) and found it living with a loving cat mom and dad in a nice little house.
"My name is Fluffy, and I look just like your kid," Fluffy said.
"You must be our long lost daughter who the humans stole before we saved up enough to get our own place!" Said the mom cat, Mrs. Cat. "You look like such a nice young cat. Welcome to our family. What have you made of your life?"
"I am a vampire slayer. I have a big house all to myself and a vampire boyfriend with a soul. He has a kid named Ronnor who is my best friend ever. And I was valedictorian at my English-as-a-second-language school. I also killed my false little sister Lawn."
"The English-as-a-second-language school the giant chameleon destroyed? Wow! I'd love to meet your boyfriend and his son. And see you doing your interesting work. And we never had a kid named Lawn, but we saw her on the street once. Kudos for getting rid of her so well. You're a real problem solver, sweetheart," Said Mr. Cat. "We sure love you, Fluffy."
"I love you too mom and dad." Fluffy said. And then she went home to watch Muppet Treasure Island.
Soon it was time for Blander and Lanya's wedding. Fluffy, Chillow and Fara were the bridesmaids. Shiles was to give Lanya away while Henny Valander watched tearfully from the front row, masquerading as Lanya's mother. (Lanya, as a former demon, had neither parents nor a last name) and they were having it on a very rainy day which meant that Gangel could safely come. So could Wike. Zem was also invited. Everybody really liked Zem a whole lot. He enjoyed vacuuming and giving people snacks, and hosting poker games. (They'd changed their currency from kittens to body parts, in honor of Ronnor. When the body parts ran low, Ronnor went out to gather more. Or they would just play for Fritos if Ronnor ran out of victims.)
Twenty minutes before the wedding was supposed to start, Blander disappeared. A funky demon who was pissed at Lanya for cursing him was trying to get him to break Lanya's heart. And he succeeded. Blander called off the wedding. Hurt and pissed off, Lanya ran off and became a vengeance demon again, only to discover that she could not grant her own wishes. So, she slept with Wike on a web cam instead. And she discovered that she was really, truly in love with Wike. Wike's empty space, which he'd tried so hard to ignore, filled right up. (Wike had been unable to kill things for quite some time due to Driley's military operatives, so they hadn't killed him yet.) He cried on Lanya's lap about how sad and lonely he'd been. Then she moved into his crypt with him. Blander was justly pissed off and heart broken. He'd wanted to stay with Lanya, but she didn't love him. And now he had an empty place instead of she and Wike.
Zem offered him hors d'ouvres and vacuumed his living room sympathetically. "Look, Blander," Zem said, "I understand you're heart broken, but maybe she'd have been more understanding if you weren't such a slob!" Blander, who was too poor to hire a maid, only cried harder because he hated living in his own filth but was too lazy to do anything about it. "Careful!" Cried Zem. "You're about to spill your booze all over the carpet! And could you not cry on the sofa. It's suede, and I just cleaned it."
About that time, three geeks who had been in Fluffy's class at English-as-a-second-language school decided to take over Sunnydale. Their names were Quarren, Nonathan, and Mandrew. Quarren was the smart one and Nonathan and Mandrew were his stupid minions. But they were in denial so they didn't notice that they were only Quarren's butt monkeys.
Quarren wanted to kill Fluffy, since then he could be king of Sunnydale. So he went and tried to shoot Fluffy in her back yard.
At this time, one of Bordelia's buddies from LA was visiting. Her name was Led and she had been in another dimension, too. She talked too much and she was very annoying. Quarren came into Fluffy's back yard, where Fluffy was about to poison Led with some arsenic and make her die, and started firing his gun. He succeeded in shooting Led instead of Fluffy (which prompted Fluffy to screech with joy and do the hula) and firing a shot through the window and right into Fara, who had just finished having sex with Chillow.
"Fara!" Screamed Chillow. She really loved Fara a whole lot and was exceedingly upset that Fara might be dead.
"That blood is going to be a bitch to get out of the carpet," muttered Zem, who was somehow there.
Chillow rushed to the magic shop that Shiles and Henny Valander owned together and where Lanya worked. She got the dark magic books and stuck her paws inside them and then all her fur turned black and her eyes turned black and she was evil-wicca-cat Chillow! Very, very scary, Chillow.
Chillow decided she was just going to have to kill Quarren and his butt-monkeys. Even though the butt-monkeys had been thrown in jail and had basically nothing to do with the whole thing. They'd still been friends with Quarren.
Lanya jumped up from behind the counter, where she'd been screwing Wike, and asked Chillow what she was doing. Fluffy, Blander, Ronnor and Gangel had just walked in. (It was nighttime.)
"I'm going on a killing rampage," Chillow told them all, shooting sparks out of her fingers.
"Sounds like fun," Fluffy said. "More power to you, Chill."
"I'll help," said Ronnor.
"Now Ronnor, you haven't been invited," scolded Gangel. "Chillow's lover has just been violently murdered. I think that she's going to want to do this on her own."
"Yes, thank you, Gangel," Chillow said. "But I'd like it if you could come along and watch. We haven't had a group outing in a long time." So they all agreed to go along with Chillow. It would be great fun, the decided.
First, Chillow found Quarren. And she ripped his skin off. "Cool!" Cried Ronnor happily. "Could you teach me that sometime, Aunt Chillow?"
"Sure," said Chillow, visiting her magic-junkie place and sucking all the magic-drugs out of Nack the magic-drug-pimp. They went and found Nonathan and Mandrew and killed them slowly and painfully. They really liked that, too. Then Chillow got bored and raised a satanic temple right in the middle of the park, next to the sandbox and the slide. It was a nice touch in the park. She was going to try to end the world, but when she saw that the so-called hell goddess was just a really messed up looking my- sized Barbie which glowed she decided against it.
"That was fun," Gangel said. "Lets all go and get some pistachio ice cream." So the did. They went to Mahmood's ice-cream shop and he was out of pistachio ice cream. They'd have thought that he'd have learned by then, but he hadn't. So they all had to beat him. And Chillow shot little sparks out of her fingers and set strategically placed napkins on fire. Ronnor ran around waving his big giant knife in Mahmood's face. Mahmood cried and begged for mercy until they got out the duct tape and made his mouth go shut.
Boz came back. "Chillow, I still love you," he said.
Chillow looked him over real fast and said, "Okay, I'm not gay anymore." So she kissed Boz and they were back together. Then everyone went home. Boz and Chillow went to the apartment that was formerly Chillow and Fara's to have sex, and Fluffy went home with Gangel and Ronnor watched Muppet Treasure Island while they had sex. Lanya and Wike resumed having sex. Even Shiles and Henny Valander went to have sex at their house. Blander was the only one who wasn't having sex. So he sat around and watched VH1-Behing the Music.
And when everyone was finished, they had a great, giant party called the "Led is Dead" party, which was really cool because it rhymed. They served giant chameleon and did the hula and had a limbo contest. Fluffy's new parents came, and Flory sent them a pot-roast from her hell dimension, and Boz's band played music. Fluffy made a few bucks by renting out all the bedrooms and broom closets to couples (except her parents got to go for free) and Mrs. Cat showed Ronnor how to make a memory quilt out of all the ears he had. Then Mr. Cat went to Gangel's house and hung it on the wall in Ronnor's room. All in all it was a great party.
AN: Any ideas for more big-bads would be greatly appreciated. I'm running low on "Fluffy" ideas but I still want to write more.