31 January 2003
Disclaimer applies to everything.
Author's note: Sorry bout the late update, I've been bust at work, and I'm tied with playing Final Fantasy Tactics! So, here's the next chap, Review please! It took me some time to get the idea…
Chapter 4 Reunion of Fate
"Why did you have to live…" Her voice came out in a strangled whisper as tears of anger splashed on his face. He couldn't let her cry. "Mother…"
"Die, Gojyo die!"
His head was spinning from lack of air, but it wasn't just that. Deep inside him, he just wanted to let go. His mother was crying… why can't she stop? Would she stop if he died? Wasn't that what he told himself year after year?
Fine, Gojyo… He closed his eyes and succumbed to the enveloping darkness. But suddenly another voice rang in his mind, loud and clear.
If you die, then nothing will change. But if you live, something will change.
Shut up, baldie, he groaned in his mind. Can't you give me a rest in the last moments of my life?
But the sentence stayed there, insistent, growing louder and louder until Gojyo thought he was going to go deaf. "Fine!!!! Then I won't die, if it shuts you up!!!!" He suddenly screamed in anger.
"Die, Gojyo, die!!!" His mother's grip tightened, but Gojyo somehow managed to pry her fingers loose. "I'm not going to die, or that priest will haunt me in Hell!!!" He growled and without a second thought, punched the youkai right in the face. It was when she reeled from the blow did he realize what he had done. "Mother…"
"Why won't you die…" His mother rasped. "You're living on a borrowed life, Gojyo. What miserable life do you lead; killing your own kind? Fighting your own brother?"
Gojyo was numb with shock. But the more he thought about it, the clearer the answer became. "I'm not living on a borrowed life – I'm living because of love." He said finally. "And if any of those weaklings dare call me their brother, then they're asking for it. Because Sha Jien… is my brother. Even when we fight, that doesn't make him less brother or more enemy."
His mother clutched her stomach during this speech, and for the first time in his memory, she smiled. It wasn't a smile of hate, but a real, genuine smile. "You've grown up, Gojyo."
He couldn't find anything to say about that. His mother slumped against the wall, smiling. "I'm the shadow in your mind, and you've been running away from me. Now that you've finally put me behind… be strong, Gojyo." With those worlds she faded, and somehow, the world began to fade too. Only Gojyo didn't notice. Those were the words I've always wanted to hear…
"Where's Gojyo?" Goku screeched as he dispatched another youkai to the netherworld. "Why isn't he here?!"
"Calm down, Goku," Hakkai neatly sliced another who was aiming for Sanzo. "He might still be in his own nightmare."
"What? Making love to women with unshaven legs?!" Sanzo furiously blasted the brains off one. "How bad can his nightmare be?!"
"Uh… pretty bad, I guess… he's sensitive inside, Sanzo," Hakkai laughed nervously. "He might have trouble coping with such things."
"Hurry up you fucking ero-kappa!" Goku threw his head back and yelled into the sky, making Sanzo snort in disgust. They didn't know from where did these youkais come from, but they're coming faster and faster, and the bad thing is, they seem to be stronger. Fear began to stab at the three as blows became harder to dodge. "They're strong!" Goku gasped as one nearly clawed his heart out. "Keep on fighting!" Sanzo shouted over the din. This was a nightmare… it is, he thought disgustedly. And then it came – this was also something he kept in his mind, a fear nagging in his mind, whispering in his ear at every moment of the day. Fuck the Dream-maker, he swore. She was turning every one of their fears into threatening situations. Well she's doing a great job, he thought in a flash of pain as one youkai tore at his robe. "Goku!" he suddenly shouted. Goku halted in mid-attack. 'What?"
"Don't hesitate, because only fools do," Sanzo said through clenched teeth. "We're not going to lose."
"We won't give in," Hakkai stepped forward and with one swift movement, blasted away some of their enemies to dust.
"MAKAI TENJYO!"
"Nyoi-Bou!"
Gojyo floated in nothingness, aware of nothing but his own numb sensations. Is this… death? Why am I alone? Where are they? I…
"I have to live." He whispered, and somehow, he was glad to hear his own voice. "I hate to lose. I really hate losing." As if in a dream, he saw himself, fighting alongside Goku, Hakkai and Sanzo. Fighting tooth and nail, sometimes falling, but there's always someone to cover him. Someone to kick him back to reality when he thought he was losing it – the only people he had left in this world. He had often thought he'd do great without them, but now… he's alone; and he's confused. Where am I? What am I doing here… I'm supposed to be with them… I'm supposed to fight. I have to fight… I have to –
"ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"What the hell?!" Goku yelled as the floor suddenly opened up and they were swallowed by the earth. "I swear I'm gonna kill her the next time we meet," Sanzo swore as they plunged free-fall into the icy darkness.