**It's too short for my liking, but oh well.**
**Now for my reviewers!!**
**nny777slavelabor**(yup, I don't know how to bold or italicize my this stuff, so if anyone could tell me, plz review.) I didn't know it was that funny, but I'm glad you liked it. ^.^ I think this chapter has a bit more humor and I hope you enjoy it.**
**Krazi Taco Girl** Well, I updated. ^.^ I'm glad that you liked it and good luck with your own parody. =)**
**Enjoy!**
**Kree**
Dib turned to his side and slowly opened his eyes. He heard someone yelling at him to wake up, but he still felt so tired. He looked around to face a spider. He sat up and inched away and then bumped into something hard It was wooden and had cobwebs hanging from it. He looked around. He was in a CUPBOARD?
Someone rapped on the door, screaming, "UP! GET UP! NOW!"
Dib was extremely confused. Where was he? Did Zim capture him? And what was with his new prison now? What was happening? And why was he in a CUPBOARD?
He looked around for some clothes to dress him. He eventually found some, though he wasn't quite thrilled with them. He preferred his trenchcoat to anything. He looked in the mirror and saw a huge lightening bolt scar on his forehead. He felt it and his mouth dropped. Had the explosion caused THIS?
Dib stepped out of the cupboard and faced a funny looking woman with big purple eyes. She had blonde hair on top of her green skinned head. He just stared at her.
"You're FINALLY up!" She scolded him in a high pitched squeaky voice. "I want you to look after the bacon and don't you DARE let it burn or I will bring the smoke machines out. I want EVERYTHING to be perfect on my little Duddy's birthday."
"Wait a minute, aren't you Zim's leader, Almighty Tallest Purple?" Dib asked. "Why are you pretending to be a WOMAN? And who is Duddy?"
The Almighty Tallest Purple woman smacked him across the face. "How DARE you! What is wrong with you, boy? Honestly, I've never been more insulted in my life." She began to walk away. "Why are you pretending to be a woman . . ." She mimicked.
Dib stepped in the kitchen and he could of sworn that there was a mountain on the table. There seemed to be a HUNDRED presents there, hiding the table. He became distracted and began counting them, one by one. Yes, it was pretty stupid of him to be counting presents at a time like this when he knew he should have been wondering, "where was he ."
Then, a tall man with big red eyes, and a mustache. "Comb your big hair on your big head!" He yelled at him.
"My hair is not big and neither is my head!" He retorted. "And you look like Zim's other leader, Almighty Tallest Red!"
"What kind of nonsense are you speaking, boy?" He yelled at him.
"I think he's hit his head in the middle of the night," Dib heard the high-pitched squeak from the other room. She came in with a fat looking boy. "He's brain must have been crazy."
"Then again, he was always insane." The man shrugged. "But where's our breakfast? And what's burning?"
"Oh .I forgot about the bacon!" Dib exclaimed nervously. The "Almighty Tallest Purple" slapped him across the face with her claws, revealing an enormous scratch across his face. "All right, all right! I'll start cooking some more!" Of course, after Dib finished cooking the bacon, they made him take out all these chips and nachos and then curly fries. Dib finished cooking the curly fries and put them on another plate. He looked at the boy and in realization he said, "hey, you're Billy Slunchy! Aren't you Mongo's brother?"
The two Tallests look alikes just looked at each other. "Maybe we should really get him to a doctor," she suggested.
"And waste money on him? When we could be buying snacks? No way!"
Dib watched as they boy counted his presents. Finally, he finished at "101". They boy looked at his parents. "One hundred and one." He started. "That's FOURTEEN LESS THAN LAST YEAR!"
"Uh er . . . . sweetums, we have five in the closet right now! Hold on, let me get them." The purple eyed woman ran out and brought some more. "Here!" "All right, One hundred and six . . ." And then he began bursting out into tears.
"Oh, Dudley, we'll get you TEN more presents when we go shopping, how about that?"
"He's a spoiled brat!" Dib thought to himself. "And now I know they call him "Dudley" . . ."
"And then I'll have . . ."
"A MILLION!" She squeaked.
"Yay!!!!" He ran around with joy.
"What kind of math is that?" Dib shouted. "He'll have one hundred and sixteen!" They all glared at him. "Yeah, okay," he weakly smiled. "A million . . ."
The telephone rang and the woman answered it. "Dursley Residence, Petunia speaking." She began talking and talking and then she finally hung up. "Vernon, we have some terrible news," she started. "Mrs. Prune has broken her leg and she baby sit Dib. What should we do?"
Apparently, Dib figured out their names now. They couldn't be his parents, so they were probably his aunt and uncle.
"Let's call my sister Mirge," Uncle Vernon suggested.
"She hates him though . . .Remember what she did last time? She made us tie him to the telephone pole outside because she couldn't stand breathing the same air as she."
"Oh .yeah.What about your friends, um what was it . . . Yvette? Yvonne?"
"She's dead. You killed her with you lasers, REMEMBER?"
"Oh yeah . . . "
"Why don't I just stay here?" Dib asked. "I can stay by myself."
"You'll just blow up the house!" Uncle Vernon yelled. "With doom and doom and doom . . ."
"Then I can just walk around town or the neighborhood or something." He shrugged.
"And have you RELEASING HAVOC TO THE TOWN! Hey, that's not a bad idea . . ." But Aunt Petunia stomped on his foot. "Of course not . . . what was I thinking . . ."
"We could take him to the zoo and just leave him in the vootrunner, I mean car."
"He will NOT stay in MY CAR!" Uncle Vernon exclaimed.
Dudley began to wail again and it nearly killed Dib's ears. He tried his hardest not to put his hands over his ears. "I DON'T WANT HIM TO COME!" He screamed. "HE ALWAYS SPOILS EVERYTHING! STUPID BIG HEADED COUSIN!"
But all of a sudden, before Dib has the chance to yell back that his head was /not/ big, the doorbell rang and Dudley stopped crying. He skipped to the door and answered it and Piers Polkiss, his best friend came in. He looked more like Mongo Slunchy, but Dib shut up. Maybe this was all some crazy dream that he was going to wake up to so might as well not waste his energy.
He ended up going to the zoo in Uncle Vernon's RED car. Though they all thought about tying him to the top of the roof, they had to stick him in the back seat with Piers and Dudley because they would probably get pulled over. Dudley and Piers were making a big deal about him never going to a zoo in his life, which was untrue because he had many times and seen many animals in his lifetime because of some of his father's experiments, but he hated zoos anyway. No paranormal activity. They finally made it and Uncle Vernon pulled Dib over aside.
"Don't you DARE do anything insane!" He whispered to him.
"But I won't-" But they just dragged him throughout the zoo. They went to the Reptile Zoo, the Mammal Zoo, the Aquarium and everywhere else to bore the heck out of Dib. They finally dragged him over to "Funny Animals Found in Funny Places". Dib found himself staring face to face with a tiny moose sleeping in a medium sized cage. It looked a lot like Mini Moose.
"What is it?" Dudley nagged at Uncle Vernon.
"Tiny moose found in France," Uncle Vernon read as he stroked his mustache.
"Get it to do something!" Dudley whined. Uncle Vernon tried to reach inside the cage to tap it but his claws didn't reach. "This is BORING! Stupid moose! I bet it's stupid! I'm going somewhere else."
Dib faced the moose. "At least your lucky you don't have to spend the whole day with them." All of a sudden, it opened its eyes and looked at Dib. Dib was shocked to see that it was looking right at him. "Oh, you're awake," but as Dib spoke, it looked confused. "Oh yeah, you're French." He thought to himself. "Bon jour, Mini Orignaux."
It squeaked something, but it sounded as if it was saying ,"bon jour".
"Comment allez vous?" Dib spoke again, thinking himself quite crazy for talking to a moose.
The moose began to stand up and skip around, almost gleefully when Piers came over and yelled, "DUDLEY! MR. DURSELY! LOOK WHAT THE MOOSE IS DOING!" Dudley came over and knocked Dib to the ground and stepped right over him. Dib rubbed his ribs, right where he had elbowed him and just glared at Dudley and Piers.
It happened very quickly. In that next moment, all Dib wanted was for that cage to disappear and Dudley and Piers to both be in it. He pictured it crudely, with them stuffed in that tiny little cage. Before he could realize what was happening, he saw the moose skipping out snapping at anyone who got too close and run for the door. "Merci, ami." It grinned at him and ran out the door. He glanced at the cage, that had vanished and then all of a sudden, he saw it reappear trapping and squishing Dudley and Piers together in the cage.
Dib sniggered to himself, but not for long. Piers told Mr. Dursley about Dib talking to the moose. They left for home immediately and they sent Dib to his cupboard with no meals.
Dib sat in the corner and thought to himself. Why was this happening? He wasn't supposed to be here with these crazy and cruel people. Even at home, things were better! He was supposed to be with Kree, sneaking around Zim's house trying to discover the secrets and knowledge of Irk .okay, maybe he wasn't really supposed to be breaking in someone's house and entering, but what else could he do in order to save the world?
But still, this was ridiculous. Sure, he's withstood mistreatment and abuse, but this? This was just plain cruel. He didn't get much attention from his own father at home, but the attention he got here was horrible. Didn't these people like him at all? How, in all places, did he end up here?
When would he wake up from this dream? He missed Kree terribly and wanted to go back home. Would he see anyone every again?
**Um, let's see . . . Sixteen more chapters to go!**
**plz review!!**
**Kree**
**Now for my reviewers!!**
**nny777slavelabor**(yup, I don't know how to bold or italicize my this stuff, so if anyone could tell me, plz review.) I didn't know it was that funny, but I'm glad you liked it. ^.^ I think this chapter has a bit more humor and I hope you enjoy it.**
**Krazi Taco Girl** Well, I updated. ^.^ I'm glad that you liked it and good luck with your own parody. =)**
**Enjoy!**
**Kree**
Dib turned to his side and slowly opened his eyes. He heard someone yelling at him to wake up, but he still felt so tired. He looked around to face a spider. He sat up and inched away and then bumped into something hard It was wooden and had cobwebs hanging from it. He looked around. He was in a CUPBOARD?
Someone rapped on the door, screaming, "UP! GET UP! NOW!"
Dib was extremely confused. Where was he? Did Zim capture him? And what was with his new prison now? What was happening? And why was he in a CUPBOARD?
He looked around for some clothes to dress him. He eventually found some, though he wasn't quite thrilled with them. He preferred his trenchcoat to anything. He looked in the mirror and saw a huge lightening bolt scar on his forehead. He felt it and his mouth dropped. Had the explosion caused THIS?
Dib stepped out of the cupboard and faced a funny looking woman with big purple eyes. She had blonde hair on top of her green skinned head. He just stared at her.
"You're FINALLY up!" She scolded him in a high pitched squeaky voice. "I want you to look after the bacon and don't you DARE let it burn or I will bring the smoke machines out. I want EVERYTHING to be perfect on my little Duddy's birthday."
"Wait a minute, aren't you Zim's leader, Almighty Tallest Purple?" Dib asked. "Why are you pretending to be a WOMAN? And who is Duddy?"
The Almighty Tallest Purple woman smacked him across the face. "How DARE you! What is wrong with you, boy? Honestly, I've never been more insulted in my life." She began to walk away. "Why are you pretending to be a woman . . ." She mimicked.
Dib stepped in the kitchen and he could of sworn that there was a mountain on the table. There seemed to be a HUNDRED presents there, hiding the table. He became distracted and began counting them, one by one. Yes, it was pretty stupid of him to be counting presents at a time like this when he knew he should have been wondering, "where was he ."
Then, a tall man with big red eyes, and a mustache. "Comb your big hair on your big head!" He yelled at him.
"My hair is not big and neither is my head!" He retorted. "And you look like Zim's other leader, Almighty Tallest Red!"
"What kind of nonsense are you speaking, boy?" He yelled at him.
"I think he's hit his head in the middle of the night," Dib heard the high-pitched squeak from the other room. She came in with a fat looking boy. "He's brain must have been crazy."
"Then again, he was always insane." The man shrugged. "But where's our breakfast? And what's burning?"
"Oh .I forgot about the bacon!" Dib exclaimed nervously. The "Almighty Tallest Purple" slapped him across the face with her claws, revealing an enormous scratch across his face. "All right, all right! I'll start cooking some more!" Of course, after Dib finished cooking the bacon, they made him take out all these chips and nachos and then curly fries. Dib finished cooking the curly fries and put them on another plate. He looked at the boy and in realization he said, "hey, you're Billy Slunchy! Aren't you Mongo's brother?"
The two Tallests look alikes just looked at each other. "Maybe we should really get him to a doctor," she suggested.
"And waste money on him? When we could be buying snacks? No way!"
Dib watched as they boy counted his presents. Finally, he finished at "101". They boy looked at his parents. "One hundred and one." He started. "That's FOURTEEN LESS THAN LAST YEAR!"
"Uh er . . . . sweetums, we have five in the closet right now! Hold on, let me get them." The purple eyed woman ran out and brought some more. "Here!" "All right, One hundred and six . . ." And then he began bursting out into tears.
"Oh, Dudley, we'll get you TEN more presents when we go shopping, how about that?"
"He's a spoiled brat!" Dib thought to himself. "And now I know they call him "Dudley" . . ."
"And then I'll have . . ."
"A MILLION!" She squeaked.
"Yay!!!!" He ran around with joy.
"What kind of math is that?" Dib shouted. "He'll have one hundred and sixteen!" They all glared at him. "Yeah, okay," he weakly smiled. "A million . . ."
The telephone rang and the woman answered it. "Dursley Residence, Petunia speaking." She began talking and talking and then she finally hung up. "Vernon, we have some terrible news," she started. "Mrs. Prune has broken her leg and she baby sit Dib. What should we do?"
Apparently, Dib figured out their names now. They couldn't be his parents, so they were probably his aunt and uncle.
"Let's call my sister Mirge," Uncle Vernon suggested.
"She hates him though . . .Remember what she did last time? She made us tie him to the telephone pole outside because she couldn't stand breathing the same air as she."
"Oh .yeah.What about your friends, um what was it . . . Yvette? Yvonne?"
"She's dead. You killed her with you lasers, REMEMBER?"
"Oh yeah . . . "
"Why don't I just stay here?" Dib asked. "I can stay by myself."
"You'll just blow up the house!" Uncle Vernon yelled. "With doom and doom and doom . . ."
"Then I can just walk around town or the neighborhood or something." He shrugged.
"And have you RELEASING HAVOC TO THE TOWN! Hey, that's not a bad idea . . ." But Aunt Petunia stomped on his foot. "Of course not . . . what was I thinking . . ."
"We could take him to the zoo and just leave him in the vootrunner, I mean car."
"He will NOT stay in MY CAR!" Uncle Vernon exclaimed.
Dudley began to wail again and it nearly killed Dib's ears. He tried his hardest not to put his hands over his ears. "I DON'T WANT HIM TO COME!" He screamed. "HE ALWAYS SPOILS EVERYTHING! STUPID BIG HEADED COUSIN!"
But all of a sudden, before Dib has the chance to yell back that his head was /not/ big, the doorbell rang and Dudley stopped crying. He skipped to the door and answered it and Piers Polkiss, his best friend came in. He looked more like Mongo Slunchy, but Dib shut up. Maybe this was all some crazy dream that he was going to wake up to so might as well not waste his energy.
He ended up going to the zoo in Uncle Vernon's RED car. Though they all thought about tying him to the top of the roof, they had to stick him in the back seat with Piers and Dudley because they would probably get pulled over. Dudley and Piers were making a big deal about him never going to a zoo in his life, which was untrue because he had many times and seen many animals in his lifetime because of some of his father's experiments, but he hated zoos anyway. No paranormal activity. They finally made it and Uncle Vernon pulled Dib over aside.
"Don't you DARE do anything insane!" He whispered to him.
"But I won't-" But they just dragged him throughout the zoo. They went to the Reptile Zoo, the Mammal Zoo, the Aquarium and everywhere else to bore the heck out of Dib. They finally dragged him over to "Funny Animals Found in Funny Places". Dib found himself staring face to face with a tiny moose sleeping in a medium sized cage. It looked a lot like Mini Moose.
"What is it?" Dudley nagged at Uncle Vernon.
"Tiny moose found in France," Uncle Vernon read as he stroked his mustache.
"Get it to do something!" Dudley whined. Uncle Vernon tried to reach inside the cage to tap it but his claws didn't reach. "This is BORING! Stupid moose! I bet it's stupid! I'm going somewhere else."
Dib faced the moose. "At least your lucky you don't have to spend the whole day with them." All of a sudden, it opened its eyes and looked at Dib. Dib was shocked to see that it was looking right at him. "Oh, you're awake," but as Dib spoke, it looked confused. "Oh yeah, you're French." He thought to himself. "Bon jour, Mini Orignaux."
It squeaked something, but it sounded as if it was saying ,"bon jour".
"Comment allez vous?" Dib spoke again, thinking himself quite crazy for talking to a moose.
The moose began to stand up and skip around, almost gleefully when Piers came over and yelled, "DUDLEY! MR. DURSELY! LOOK WHAT THE MOOSE IS DOING!" Dudley came over and knocked Dib to the ground and stepped right over him. Dib rubbed his ribs, right where he had elbowed him and just glared at Dudley and Piers.
It happened very quickly. In that next moment, all Dib wanted was for that cage to disappear and Dudley and Piers to both be in it. He pictured it crudely, with them stuffed in that tiny little cage. Before he could realize what was happening, he saw the moose skipping out snapping at anyone who got too close and run for the door. "Merci, ami." It grinned at him and ran out the door. He glanced at the cage, that had vanished and then all of a sudden, he saw it reappear trapping and squishing Dudley and Piers together in the cage.
Dib sniggered to himself, but not for long. Piers told Mr. Dursley about Dib talking to the moose. They left for home immediately and they sent Dib to his cupboard with no meals.
Dib sat in the corner and thought to himself. Why was this happening? He wasn't supposed to be here with these crazy and cruel people. Even at home, things were better! He was supposed to be with Kree, sneaking around Zim's house trying to discover the secrets and knowledge of Irk .okay, maybe he wasn't really supposed to be breaking in someone's house and entering, but what else could he do in order to save the world?
But still, this was ridiculous. Sure, he's withstood mistreatment and abuse, but this? This was just plain cruel. He didn't get much attention from his own father at home, but the attention he got here was horrible. Didn't these people like him at all? How, in all places, did he end up here?
When would he wake up from this dream? He missed Kree terribly and wanted to go back home. Would he see anyone every again?
**Um, let's see . . . Sixteen more chapters to go!**
**plz review!!**
**Kree**