Author: Meltha
Rating: PG-13, though very, very mild
Feedback: Yes, thank you. Melpomenethalia@aol.com
Spoilers: Through Angel season 4's "Lullaby" and Buffy season 6's "Tabula Rasa"
Distribution: Fanfiction.net and the Bunny Warren. If you're interested, please let me know.
Summary: Buffy jumped through the portal and died, but what happened next?
Author's Note: Okay, I know I said this was going to be the last chapter. Well, it looks like it's going to be the second to last.
Disclaimer: All characters are owned by Mutant Enemy (Joss Whedon), a wonderfully creative company whose characters I have borrowed for a completely profit-free flight of fancy. Kindly do not sue me, please, as I am terrified of you. Thank you.
Part 20Darla looked at the world around her and saw that it had begun to heal. The sky had turned from a livid orange back to blue, and she experimentally drew them once more to the beach. No sooner had she thought it than it came into being. Limbo was whole again, but its inhabitants were far from well.
The spirits who had been summoned to help had vanished only moments after William had regained consciousness, and it was perfectly obviously why. They were residents of a realm of pure bliss, and it was impossible for them to stay somewhere so filled with sadness for very long. The waves lapped sadly against the crystal sand, and the melancholy calls of seagulls echoed above them. Drusilla had wrapped her arms around the nearly unconscious William, but he seemed not to notice. For almost two hours, his eyes had never left the unmoving features of Buffy. The stillness was complete.
"I think Willow's a big meanie," Harmony suddenly blurted out.
For once, Darla was grateful for the girl. The quiet had been getting to her.
Drusilla stood up and went to her. "She didn't understand, dearie. I don't think she would ever have done what she did if she knew what the consequences would be."
Darla snorted in a completely unhumorous laugh. "If she didn't understand it, she shouldn't have done it."
The seer looked at her wearily and tipped her head in recognition that the girl so known for research should have known enough to study the spell more throughly. She sincerely hoped Willow wouldn't slip any further, but her Sight told her there was more darkness ahead.
Through all of this, William remained crouched on the sand beside Buffy, appearing to not even hear what they were saying. His mind was a thousand miles away, remembering the soft scent of plum blossoms and the gentle touch of her hand in his. Tears flowed down his cheeks unheeded, one landing softly on Buffy's face and shimmering like a diamond in the sunlight.
It was then that the world went sideways. Darla had completely lost it after she'd called his name no less than ten times without a response and had given him a good sock to the jaw in an effort to get him to pay attention.
"Are you in there?" she yelled as she pulled him to his feet. "I can't believe we're such idiots!"
Drusilla frowned at her severely. "Do not deal with him in such a way again, Darla, or I will be extremely cross," she warned.
"Oh, for crying out loud, think about it! We know the other half of her is waking up, actually, probably has woken up by now. We know she's going to be completely out of it, and we're all standing her like a pack of ninnies! William, get down there and do something with Spike to help her!" she half-screamed in frustration.
His eyes blinked in shock. She was absolutely right. He'd been sitting up here wallowing in sorrow when there was a possiblity the bond he shared with Spike was strong enough to let him effect her first few hours in what must seem like hell to her.
"Dru, look after her for me, will you?" he asked quickly as he bent his thoughts on finding his other self.
"Of course," was the immediate reply, and the words were no sooner said than he was gone.
It took a moment for William to find Spike, and the reason was perfectly understandable: the vampire was ripping through the streets of Sunnydale, going over ninety miles per hour on a motorcycle. Fortunately, the emotions Spike was experiencing made it fairly easy for William to tentatively begin to re-establish a connection. The demon was in there too, very strong, no doubt of that, and it was enraged over the loss of something. It took William a few moments to figure out that the grisly images in Spike's head of Buffy being torn into pieces were actually centered around the Buffybot, not the human, and he sighed in relief that he wasn't too late. But the other part of Spike, that part of William's soul that had begun to steadily grow stronger on a diet of positive actions and feelings, was very much at the forefront. Dawn was missing, and Spike was half wild with worry that the oath he'd made to the Slayer on the day she died might have been broken.
Together, whether the vampire knew it or not, they tore into the Summers home and called the girl's name.
"Dawn! You in here!"
There was a pause before she answered, "I'm here."
William felt the wave of genuine relief spread over Spike. His concern for her was very real, which meant William had a much better chance of influencing him.
He barely heard Dawn as she descended the stairs, but he felt Buffy's presense before Spike saw her. But what he perceived chilled him.
She looked exactly the same to the others in the room, but to him, she was so frail. It was as though the bright light that had always poured forth from her was shining underneath many, many layers of smoked glass. But she was there, moving, unlike her other half in Limbo.
The surge of tenderness and wonder that shot through Spike was so strong that William was able to enter him almost completely, and when her bleeding hands were held, it was by both of them. The love that shone through the blue eyes she saw was almost overwhelming as both demon and soul relished being in her presense again. By the time the other Scoobies arrived, William began to have hopes that the chip had weakened the demon enough and the vampire's increasing ability to love and feel guilt had strengthened his remnants of a soul enough that William might not be completely separated from Buffy forever.
As the two of them wept in unison by the tree outside her house, both of them knowing that something was wrong, Xander Harris approached, and William experienced a very strong feeling.
Rage. And it wasn't just the demon's. This boy had been there and allowed his beloved to be taken from him. This ignorant pup had played with far more than fire, and now whole worlds were out of alignment for it.
"Look me in the eyes, and tell me when you saw Buffy alive, that wasn't the happiest moment of your entire existence."
William nearly screamed at the stupidity of the statement from his point of view, but he knew Spike was dangerously close to snapping. With a tremendous urge, he suggested that leaving would be a good idea.
"That's the thing about magic. There's always consequences. Always," they both called over the leather-clad shoulder.
As Spike's motorcycle rocketed back through the night, trying vainly to escape the confusion of emotions in a cloud of dust, William retreated. Just before he left, he took another long look at Spike. There was no question about it. The soul within him was growing larger. He had a chance.
William arrived back in Limbo to see Drusilla still standing over Buffy's body protectively, a sad smile on her face.
"Looks as though she's sleeping, doesn't she?" she said softly. "This part of her, in spite of everything, is still untouched."
"How'd it go?" Harmony asked in an uncharacteristically serious tone. "Is she okay?"
William sighed. "She's physically well, that much I can say. Her spirit is badly damaged, though. Very badly."
"And you? You okay?" she asked with a sympathetic smile.
He sat beside her on the sand and gave her hand a squeeze. "I have to be, for her. Spike's letting me in a bit more than usual. As long as he still has hope, I think I'm going to be able to make some sort of difference."
"Would you like an ice cream bar or something?" Harmony suggested in a squeaky voice. "They usually make me feel better."
William smiled in spite of himself. "Not right now, Harmony, dear. Perhaps later."
"'Kay. I think I'm gonna grab one, though, if you don't mind. I'll see you guys later." Harmony vanished without a trace, the lack of happy green and pink bubbles testifying to her sadness.
Through all of this, Darla had been pitching stones into the ocean, hovering on the outside of the group. At this point, she took a deep breath and rejoined them, uncomfortably kicking the sand up in little puffs as she stood there.
"Um, William," she began, "about that right cross I decked you with…"
"Thank you," he interupted. "You were quite right. Perhaps the method was a little questionable, but your heart was, as it usually is, in the right place."
She gave him a small smile of thanks, and then her gaze fell on Buffy again. "What should we do about her?"
"You know," Drusilla said softly, "she's quite safe here. You really don't need to worry about her."
"I just don't like the idea of leaving her alone if I can help it," he explained. "It doesn't really make sense; you're perfectly right, Dru. Nothing will harm her. But still, I don't want her to be abandoned."
Drusilla smiled in understanding.
William had a sudden thought and knealt beside Buffy, carefully sweeping her into his arms as he did so. Such a small thing to have so much importance to so many people, he thought. Instantly, he was alone with Buffy in the plum orchard where she had told him that she wanted to remain with him. He walked along the pathway under the shade of the trees, holding her lax form tenderly and letting the memories wash over him. At last he turned from the path and entered the grove where their bed lay. He held her for one more moment, then gently rested her on the coverlet, her golden hair carefully arranged on the pillow. She looked for all the world like Sleeping Beauty.
"If only a kiss would wake you up," he whispered sadly as he ran a finger softly across her cheek. He placed his lips to her forehead, then left, intent on helping the half of her he could, but knowing that there would be many, many hours he would spend in this bower, silently watching over her.
Time passed, and there were moments when Spike and William were so closely bonded that they were nearly one entity. Buffy began to go to Spike more and more often to find solace for the sadness that was engulfing her, never realizing why she was so drawn to him, never knowing that her soul was naturally seeking out William and the bond they shared, never realizing he was there. The soul knew she had no choice in the matter of forgetting him, but it didn't stop him from being reminded of how alone he was, how deeply he missed her. To her, he simply didn't exist, but when Spike's mouth formed the words of how much he wished he could have saved her, how he replayed that horrible scene a thousand times, though the scenes themselves were different, William expressed his own sadness and grief at his inability to save her.
Darla, on the other hand, had more than a few problems of her own to deal with. She hadn't been back to check in with her vampire self in a while, the whole experience sometimes becoming too difficult for her since she so rarely had any input at all in what happened. Instead, she'd been trying to help Dru or Harmony with their own doubles, and occasionally that had worked. The other Drusilla, after some nudging from Miss Edith and company, was currently wandering through the rainforests of Venezuela, a part of the world where she happily ran into humans infrequently and was instead living off of a variety of wildlife. She seemed to particularly enjoy parrots, often mumbling about drinking flying rainbows. Harmony's other self was living in Mexico at the moment, trying to sell vampires on some cracked pyramid-scheme that none of them completely understood. So, when Darla did decide to drop in on her demon after a few months, she was, to put it mildly, surprised.
"And just how exactly did I get pregnant?" the blonde asked in complete disbelief.
"Um, well, you see, a few months ago, you and Angel sort of…" Harmony began in an embarassed voice accompanied by frantic hand motions that could easily have suggested they had been making patty cake as much as anything else.
"Oh, for crying out loud, I know how that part works! I used to be a prostitute!" Darla interrupted her. "The other me is dead! And even if it weren't, when I was human, I had a bad case of measles when I was a kid and it left me sterile, which worked out pretty well with my old line of work. And the other me is… well… dead!" she repeated firmly.
Drusilla cocked her head to one side and stared at the vampire who was obviously in the family way. "This really is disturbing."
William, completely flummoxed at the news, had responded by ducking his head repeatedly as he'd tried to form a coherent sentence. "I mean,… that is to say… well, is there any chance that… um… yes, well, it's all rather… ehm… yes. Perhaps I should call on Buffy," he eventually got out as he abruptly vanished.
The three women exchanged looks.
"Okay, who here knew he could turn that red?" Darla asked in amusement. "It's almost worth seeing my body get stretchmarks. Almost."
Dru enjoyed the laughter for a moment before she lapsed back into the worried expression that had been clouding her eyes more and more lately. Her Sight had been telling her for some time that all was not going well, that bad times were coming, but exactly what was going to happen was shrouded from her. Her first concern had been Buffy, of course, and there was indeed reason for concern about the mortal part of her. As time had gone on, Buffy's spirit seemed to be… well, decaying was perhaps the kindest word she could use. It was almost as though her soul, which somehow had held on to the idea that it had been warm and safe and loved wherever it might have been, although all the details and many of the facts were completely wrong, had grown sullen. It was simply too injured to deal with the pressures of the life it was facing.
"Thinking about Buffy again?" Darla said, not really needing an answer. "What's up with her, anyway? She's getting…"
"Worse, yes, I know," Dru responded tiredly. "William is doing all he can, but her soul is so wounded, and her situation isn't helping. Her mother is dead, her father has no thoughts of her at all, she's drowning in bills, her friends don't wish to address what has happened directly, her job as the Slayer is becoming meaningless to her since the monsters never do stop coming, her sister doesn't seem to understand the position she's in, and the only time she feels any comfort is when she's with Spike and she can't understand why. The girl has not had an easy time of it. I'm afraid the strain is about to break her, especially since I believe Giles is considering leaving once more."
Darla gave her a significant look. "That's not good. He's the anchor in that group. Dru… worst case scenario?"
Drusilla plopped down next to Harmony and began drawing circles in the sand with her fingertip. "Absolute worst? Her soul could become completely dormant, almost like it's gone into shock. She'd turn into a very close copy of our own other selves, except she might actually be worse. At least vampires do have a tiny bit of soul in them that is awake."
"So, if her soul goes completely to sleep?" Harmony asked.
"No conscience at all. No ability to love. No appreciation for anything around her; beauty, friendship, and honor will become meaningless words. She could become a walking thing, and she may even become dangerous," Dru said in a saddened tone. "In fact, she most probably would."
"Damn," Darla cursed. "So how do we get her to hang on?"
"We don't. William does," Dru said. "As long as he still has a pathway in through Spike, he may be able to keep her from falling apart. But even so, we are in uncharted waters. I've never heard of a soul ripped in two before. Neither has anyone else here. I don't know if there's really anything to be done about it."
The three of them remained on the beach for a long time, staring at the unmoving sun that was perched just above the horizon. Drusilla could feel the darkness lying behind it, bleeding across the sand like an oil slick, almost reaching their feet. They were poised at the brink of something, of that she was sure, but would they topple in or be pulled back from the edge? Sometimes she couldn't help wondering if her mother hadn't been right, if she had been cursed.
William arrived again abruptly, a strange look on his face.
"Hey," Harmony called perkily, completely off-setting her mood of a few moments earlier. "What's going on down there?"
William frowned, then stammered, "S-s-she kissed me. Him. Us."
"Well, it's about time!" Darla said firmly and with a grin. "See, nothing to worry about! Good going, Will!"
"No, you don't understand. There's something wrong." He shook his head as though trying to clear it. "It wasn't right. I've kissed Buffy, and I know what it should feel like. This was… there was no love in it from her, only desperation, and what's worse, I think Spike felt it. He's gotten what he's been wanting from her for months, what he's been dreaming of for years, and he knows it was hollow."
Darla's mouth hung open slightly as she remembered a moment from her mortal life. A man whom she had taken a strong fancy to had hired her for her services, and from that moment on she had known he would never love her. It had been horrible: exactly what she'd asked for, only with nothing behind it.
"He's going to lose heart, William, if things go too far, and you're going to have a hell of a time breaking through if he does. You have to keep him from giving up." She took his hand firmly in her own and held it tightly. "This is going to get rough."
Only days passed before Darla's words became all too clear. Giles did, indeed, leave, and it seemed as though no sooner did the man who had been her father figure for so many years step on the plane than Buffy's light was barely a flicker. It was one blow too many.
A week after Buffy and Spike's second kiss, one that predicted even worse luck than the first, Drusilla was walking in her rose garden. As she sat on her favorite bench and breathed in the scents of the flowers, willing herself to find peace, a vision hit her with complete clarity. There was no question about its interpretation. In a moment, she had rejoined the others, who were currently in William's study. It happened to be daylight for all of their other selves, and they were gathered together in a rare moment of rest.
Drusilla immediately crouched beside Darla's chair and took the other woman's hand.
"Darla," she said with tears in her eyes, "you're going home soon."
"What? You mean…" Darla asked in shock. "It's the baby, isn't it?"
Drusilla nodded. "It's going to be tonight."
Everyone's eyes immediately went to the stunned woman.
"Are you alright, Darla," William asked carefully as he moved immediately to her other side.
Her mouth worked noiselessly for a few moments. "Now? I mean, don't get me wrong here, I'm completely happy to leave behind the full-body migraines from feeding, and I want to go. It's going to be a lot better this time. But it's not exactly the best time to be leaving you guys."
Drusilla squeezed her hand more tightly for a moment. "When it comes, it's the right time, dearheart. I am going to miss you terribly, though."
No one else knew what to say. They spent the rest of the day together in Darla's valley of wildflowers, simply being together. As night fell over the city of Los Angeles, a feeling of urgency became stronger in the group. Even without Drusilla's vision, they all would have known something was going to happen.
"It's going to be soon," the fair-haired woman said with an unmistakable note of nervousness. "Um, Harmony? Look, in spite of everything, you're actually a pretty decent kid. I've liked knowing you."
"Aw, Dar," Harmony said as she began to tear up and threw her arms around her, "that's so nice! I'm gonna miss you too. And you have great taste in clothes, even though you are a little skanky sometimes."
Darla's eyebrow went up at the odd mixture of compliment and insult, but she just shook her head and patted the girl on the back, smiling in spite of herself. She turned next to Drusilla.
"You'll get out of here sooner or later, Dru, and when you do, well, I'll probably be a lot happier. You're a decent sort. Wish I'd met a few more like you back when I still had a pulse. Either time."
The two hugged hard for a long minute before Dru kissed her on the forehead and stepped back.
"Look at me. Crying like a silly cow," Dru said self-mockingly. "You'll give my sisters my love, won't you?"
"Of course," she promised as she faced William. "Now, you. I'm going to admit something to you. The first time I met you, I thought you were the biggest wimp I'd ever met."
William brow creased at her words.
"I was wrong. You, William, are one of only five people I have ever particularly liked. Considering I've been around almost 400 years, that's saying something. Whatever it is you've got in front of you, you'll get through it."
"Five?" Harmony asked.
"Yes, Harmony, five," Drusilla said with a bittersweet smile. "And Darla, you know eventually he is going to catch up to you someday."
In spite of herself, Darla gave an almost shy grin as she remembered a pair of kind brown eyes.
Then, without another word or warning, Darla was simply gone. It wasn't to be long before the others realized how well-timed her departure was.