The secret life of Molly Weasley
A meaningless fic by neopyro Warning: If you think of Mrs. Weasley as a kind hearted old lady and do not want your view of her warped drastically turn back while you still can.
Molly Weasley sat deep in thought on a bench in front of Gringotts. She had just been down to withdraw money from the family account. The vault was empty, except for one sickle and three knuts.
"Well." She thought "I guess I'm going to have to get a job. But in what I wonder? My only real talents are cooking and knitting. I'm not exactly a powerful wizard. My handwriting is the worst I've ever seen, I have no extensive knowledge in any subject. What could I do that would pull down a bit of money for the family?" Then it hit her" I'm still good lookiing. I'm great in the sack, I'm going to be a secretary for The minister of magic!" she yelled in her head
(a/n that was a joke, What she actually thought was "I'm going to become a prostitute!")
three days later in the classified section of the daily prophet
Horny? Wife out of town? Just plain needy?
Then Molly Weasley's sex service is for you.
Anything you want. For a price.
Meanwhile, at Hogwarts.
"Ron? You okay?" Hermione asked
Ron's face had turned a nasty green color. He passed the ad over to Hermione.
"Oh dear." She said
Meanwhile, in Diagon alley
"Hey, You're the one from that ad in the prophet aren't you?" A man asked as Molly walked through the alley
"Yes I would, and who might you be?" Molly asked
"Tom. Tom the barkeep. Do you have time? This is my lunch break." Tom replied
"Yes I do." She replied
Both wizards ducked into a side alley where nobody was. Molly dropped to her knees and Tom leaned back against the wall and unzipped.
15 minutes and a swallow later, both emerged from the side alley, The female one holding a fist full of Galleons.
Molly and Tom made plans to meet here three times a week.
Meanwhile, at Hogwarts.
"Ron. Please calm down." Hermione begged
"Why should I live?" Ron asked, waving his razorblade around "First I find out that my mom's a whore and now Harry is snogging my sister?!? Give me one good reason why I shouldn't slit my wrists and jump from this tower?"
"The Cannons won." Hermione answered
"Ok. Five reasons besides that one."
"Mashed potatoes, Roast beef, turkey, and clam chowder are on the menu tonight."
"Ok, and the fifth reason?" Ron asked
"This." Hermione replied softly, narrowing the distance between their lips
After the kiss Ron replies "Ok, now I'm jumping." His voice quavering nervously.
"Ronald Weasley! Get back here this instant!" Hermione yelled, running after him
Meanwhile, with Molly.
Today Tom had asked for a little more. Molly agreed and afterwards decided to treat herself to a nice ride home on the Knight Bus. Molly hopped on the bus and paid the conductor.
"Ottery Saint Catchpole please."
"Yes ma'am." Ernie, the bus driver replied
"Hey. You're the one from that ad ain't you?" Stan asked
"Yes I am. " She replied
"You got time?" Stan asked
"Yes I do." She replied
They both marched off to the third floor suite.
A little while and a bit of whipping later, Mrs. Weasley left the room her purse containing 10 galleons and a certificate for free rides on the Knight Bus, Valid forever. She also had an appointment with Stan on the same days as Tom. They were almost to the Burrow when Ernie stopped to let in a passenger. It was the minister of magic, Corneilius Fudge.
End of chapter!
Do you like it. If you don't I don't care. This is written for my enjoyment only.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Neopyro
A meaningless fic by neopyro Warning: If you think of Mrs. Weasley as a kind hearted old lady and do not want your view of her warped drastically turn back while you still can.
Molly Weasley sat deep in thought on a bench in front of Gringotts. She had just been down to withdraw money from the family account. The vault was empty, except for one sickle and three knuts.
"Well." She thought "I guess I'm going to have to get a job. But in what I wonder? My only real talents are cooking and knitting. I'm not exactly a powerful wizard. My handwriting is the worst I've ever seen, I have no extensive knowledge in any subject. What could I do that would pull down a bit of money for the family?" Then it hit her" I'm still good lookiing. I'm great in the sack, I'm going to be a secretary for The minister of magic!" she yelled in her head
(a/n that was a joke, What she actually thought was "I'm going to become a prostitute!")
three days later in the classified section of the daily prophet
Horny? Wife out of town? Just plain needy?
Then Molly Weasley's sex service is for you.
Anything you want. For a price.
Meanwhile, at Hogwarts.
"Ron? You okay?" Hermione asked
Ron's face had turned a nasty green color. He passed the ad over to Hermione.
"Oh dear." She said
Meanwhile, in Diagon alley
"Hey, You're the one from that ad in the prophet aren't you?" A man asked as Molly walked through the alley
"Yes I would, and who might you be?" Molly asked
"Tom. Tom the barkeep. Do you have time? This is my lunch break." Tom replied
"Yes I do." She replied
Both wizards ducked into a side alley where nobody was. Molly dropped to her knees and Tom leaned back against the wall and unzipped.
15 minutes and a swallow later, both emerged from the side alley, The female one holding a fist full of Galleons.
Molly and Tom made plans to meet here three times a week.
Meanwhile, at Hogwarts.
"Ron. Please calm down." Hermione begged
"Why should I live?" Ron asked, waving his razorblade around "First I find out that my mom's a whore and now Harry is snogging my sister?!? Give me one good reason why I shouldn't slit my wrists and jump from this tower?"
"The Cannons won." Hermione answered
"Ok. Five reasons besides that one."
"Mashed potatoes, Roast beef, turkey, and clam chowder are on the menu tonight."
"Ok, and the fifth reason?" Ron asked
"This." Hermione replied softly, narrowing the distance between their lips
After the kiss Ron replies "Ok, now I'm jumping." His voice quavering nervously.
"Ronald Weasley! Get back here this instant!" Hermione yelled, running after him
Meanwhile, with Molly.
Today Tom had asked for a little more. Molly agreed and afterwards decided to treat herself to a nice ride home on the Knight Bus. Molly hopped on the bus and paid the conductor.
"Ottery Saint Catchpole please."
"Yes ma'am." Ernie, the bus driver replied
"Hey. You're the one from that ad ain't you?" Stan asked
"Yes I am. " She replied
"You got time?" Stan asked
"Yes I do." She replied
They both marched off to the third floor suite.
A little while and a bit of whipping later, Mrs. Weasley left the room her purse containing 10 galleons and a certificate for free rides on the Knight Bus, Valid forever. She also had an appointment with Stan on the same days as Tom. They were almost to the Burrow when Ernie stopped to let in a passenger. It was the minister of magic, Corneilius Fudge.
End of chapter!
Do you like it. If you don't I don't care. This is written for my enjoyment only.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Neopyro