Psychosis
Heat. Engulfing my body, roasting me alive, burning me. Too hot. Too hot!
"Okay, okay, we'll take the blankets off," says a voice. A woman. She sounds concerned yet agitated. She says my name, but it sounds like a question, I don't know why.
Opening my eyes, I give her my attention. I don't really know who she is. Very dark hair, it looks black most of the time, large round eyes, which I can see pain concealed within. Her skin is very pale, and she plays off that by colouring her lips a bright rouge. I know I should know her... I feel like I do but my mind isn't letting me remember. It's like a game. Hide and seek. Only, my memory is hiding and somehow I can't seek.
Sister. That's it. Sister... all begin with the letter 'P'... Paige. Paige. Paige.
I say the name over and over in my head like a mantra to force it into my brain. It will most likely get lost somewhere on its way. Paige.
"Yes, yes Piper," she bends over me, her eyes glistening.
Confused, I find I don't even know when I speak in my thoughts and I speak aloud. That must be twice so far I have spoken involuntarily. I decide to try to gain alertness.
Paige helps me pull myself up against my pillows so I am sitting upright. I manage a weak smile at her, and from her reaction I sense this means a lot more to her than I know.
Taking in a shuddering breath, where my whole body quakes with anticipation, I try to speak. And to my delight, I do not fail this time.
"Paige," I say proudly.
Her brow furrows for a second, but on a whim she changes her mind and smiles broadly at me instead. Though she seems a little disappointed.
I wet my lips again. "Paige... I uh..." I have to stop to arrange the words in my head. Excitement bristles over her body, I can sense it. "You have a pretty colour," I finish. I'm talking about the green transparent mist that emits her body and hovers around her, encasing her in its beauty.
Looking confused, she sits beside me and strokes my face. "Colour? What do you mean sweetie?"
I giggle at her words. Then I struggle to move my mouth close to her ear. "It's all around you," I whisper, "It's green and there are teensy bits of purple too."
Leaning away from me, Paige throws a look of abhorrance at me and I recede away from her. She frightens me with her expression, but once again it changes. Perhaps I always read her face wrongly, but I still get impressions.
"Piper? Sweetie?" she takes up my hand and cups it in her own. "I'm gonna go downstairs and talk to Leo and Phoebe," she watches my face for any signs of recognition. "But, uh, you just yell if you need anything."
"Just yell?" I ask, needing reassurance.
She nods, places a kiss on my hand then gets up and leaves.
I am asleep before she is gone.
* * *
Walking down the stairs, Paige was encased in her thoughts as she tried to make sense of what had just happened with her latest visit to her sister. She wasn't even sure if she was glad she'd found the Halliwells - Phoebe was amazing, Leo was nice, but Piper... well, Piper was off her rocker.
She'd been fine when they'd first met, well, as fine as one could be after losing one sister then discovering one has another. How convenient, they must've thought.
The stress of living with her new family was getting to her though. Piper needed care round the clock. And Paige hardly knew her enough to be thrust into this role, but still she remained.
Grimacing, Paige went into the kitchen where Leo and Phoebe were sipping fruit juice. She sat down heavily and pawed the placemat awkwardly.
"How is she?" Leo asked.
"She talked," Paige replied. This instantly stirred a reaction from the other two. "I wouldn't get excited," she told them, "She sounded like a kid. Talking about colours and stuff... it didn't make any sense."
Phoebe sat down beside her. "Colour? What do you mean colour?"
Sighing, Paige reluctantly repeated what Piper had said. "She said I had a, uh, pretty colour. That it was all around me and it was green and purple. Make sense of that and you win the prize."
Leo clasped his hands. "Well she'll be talking about your aura," he said simply.
"My... aura."
"Well yeah, everybody's got one. It's a misty colour that surrounds your body and indicates what you're like deep down as a person," he explained as if it was common knowledge. "If you practise, you learn to see them."
Paige sat forward, finding this of immense interest. "Really? Can you?"
He nodded. "Piper's right about yours. Mostly green. Little purple."
"And that means..."
"Well, green is the sign of a natural healer," Leo said smiling. "Which makes perfect sense, you being half whitelighter and all. The purple comes from spirituality, means you have a... well, a spiritual and slightly supernatural side to you."
Paige exhaled. How can you get so much from colours?
"Ooh do me," Phoebe squealed.
Leo laughed softly and gazed at Phoebe's head. He relaxed his eyes and let the mist of Phoebe's aura form. "You're-"
"Paige?" came a voice from up the stairs. "Paige! Paige! PAIGE!" It got more frantic with each call, ending with a screaming yell of desperation.
Staring at each other in fear, Leo, Paige and Phoebe froze for a moment, before simultaneously making a dash for the stairs.
* * *
My mind feels like it's going to explode! Why is this happening to me? Why? I twist myself fervently, my body trying to rid itself of whatever demons are clawing their way around inside it. No luck.
"Paige!" the voice calls again. It sounds desparate, and frightened. It's my voice.
Then before I realise the door had opened, a woman is by my side, asking me frenzied questions, her face etched with worry. Her name comes to me a lot faster than it usually does. Paige.
Then a man comes in... Leo, and my sister, Phoebe, they rush over to my sides and clamour around me. The panic that holds me does not relent. For I still see what is scaring me.
Mom. She is standing just a little away from the foot of my bed. She stares at me, her eyes hard and enraged. I try not to look at her, because the very sight of what she now looks like sickens me.
Her hair hangs in tangled strands, sopping wet and dripping dirty lake water onto her shoulders. Her clothes are old, torn and dirty, also wet with water and there is a huge slash down the material at the front. She stands like a broken figure, hunched over and wailing painfully. Her face... oh her face...
Grotesque features replace her once appealing looks. Sunken and bloodshot eyes regard me solemnly and her mouth is twisted into an expression of agonised terror.
Slowly and painfully, she lifts a hand and points to my horrified face. "You don't love me... Piper... you don't love your own mom..."
"I do," I hear myself cry, "I do love you... just go away!" I know I love her but my plight is unavoidable - she is scaring me shitless.
I don't see Phoebe, Paige and Leo's frantic expressions as they try to restrain me, while I struggle against their hands in order to escape the soaked monster at the bottom of my bed. I feel just as wet now, my tears have covered me in anguished salt water, but I try not to think about it and concentrate on escaping.
Mom is coming closer, taking shaky steps towards me.
"No," I shout, my eyes wide. "Get her away from me! No!"
She lowers her hand and it touches my foot. The feeling travels up my body like a shockwave. Cold, slimy, and hateful.
I notice Leo again. "Leo," I plead, "Get me out of here... anywhere."
Mom is coming. She's coming to get her little girl.
Leo looks at me blankly.
"Help!" I roar, frustrated to breaking point. Then Paige hurls herself over my body and I feel myself begin to orb.
Heat. Engulfing my body, roasting me alive, burning me. Too hot. Too hot!
"Okay, okay, we'll take the blankets off," says a voice. A woman. She sounds concerned yet agitated. She says my name, but it sounds like a question, I don't know why.
Opening my eyes, I give her my attention. I don't really know who she is. Very dark hair, it looks black most of the time, large round eyes, which I can see pain concealed within. Her skin is very pale, and she plays off that by colouring her lips a bright rouge. I know I should know her... I feel like I do but my mind isn't letting me remember. It's like a game. Hide and seek. Only, my memory is hiding and somehow I can't seek.
Sister. That's it. Sister... all begin with the letter 'P'... Paige. Paige. Paige.
I say the name over and over in my head like a mantra to force it into my brain. It will most likely get lost somewhere on its way. Paige.
"Yes, yes Piper," she bends over me, her eyes glistening.
Confused, I find I don't even know when I speak in my thoughts and I speak aloud. That must be twice so far I have spoken involuntarily. I decide to try to gain alertness.
Paige helps me pull myself up against my pillows so I am sitting upright. I manage a weak smile at her, and from her reaction I sense this means a lot more to her than I know.
Taking in a shuddering breath, where my whole body quakes with anticipation, I try to speak. And to my delight, I do not fail this time.
"Paige," I say proudly.
Her brow furrows for a second, but on a whim she changes her mind and smiles broadly at me instead. Though she seems a little disappointed.
I wet my lips again. "Paige... I uh..." I have to stop to arrange the words in my head. Excitement bristles over her body, I can sense it. "You have a pretty colour," I finish. I'm talking about the green transparent mist that emits her body and hovers around her, encasing her in its beauty.
Looking confused, she sits beside me and strokes my face. "Colour? What do you mean sweetie?"
I giggle at her words. Then I struggle to move my mouth close to her ear. "It's all around you," I whisper, "It's green and there are teensy bits of purple too."
Leaning away from me, Paige throws a look of abhorrance at me and I recede away from her. She frightens me with her expression, but once again it changes. Perhaps I always read her face wrongly, but I still get impressions.
"Piper? Sweetie?" she takes up my hand and cups it in her own. "I'm gonna go downstairs and talk to Leo and Phoebe," she watches my face for any signs of recognition. "But, uh, you just yell if you need anything."
"Just yell?" I ask, needing reassurance.
She nods, places a kiss on my hand then gets up and leaves.
I am asleep before she is gone.
* * *
Walking down the stairs, Paige was encased in her thoughts as she tried to make sense of what had just happened with her latest visit to her sister. She wasn't even sure if she was glad she'd found the Halliwells - Phoebe was amazing, Leo was nice, but Piper... well, Piper was off her rocker.
She'd been fine when they'd first met, well, as fine as one could be after losing one sister then discovering one has another. How convenient, they must've thought.
The stress of living with her new family was getting to her though. Piper needed care round the clock. And Paige hardly knew her enough to be thrust into this role, but still she remained.
Grimacing, Paige went into the kitchen where Leo and Phoebe were sipping fruit juice. She sat down heavily and pawed the placemat awkwardly.
"How is she?" Leo asked.
"She talked," Paige replied. This instantly stirred a reaction from the other two. "I wouldn't get excited," she told them, "She sounded like a kid. Talking about colours and stuff... it didn't make any sense."
Phoebe sat down beside her. "Colour? What do you mean colour?"
Sighing, Paige reluctantly repeated what Piper had said. "She said I had a, uh, pretty colour. That it was all around me and it was green and purple. Make sense of that and you win the prize."
Leo clasped his hands. "Well she'll be talking about your aura," he said simply.
"My... aura."
"Well yeah, everybody's got one. It's a misty colour that surrounds your body and indicates what you're like deep down as a person," he explained as if it was common knowledge. "If you practise, you learn to see them."
Paige sat forward, finding this of immense interest. "Really? Can you?"
He nodded. "Piper's right about yours. Mostly green. Little purple."
"And that means..."
"Well, green is the sign of a natural healer," Leo said smiling. "Which makes perfect sense, you being half whitelighter and all. The purple comes from spirituality, means you have a... well, a spiritual and slightly supernatural side to you."
Paige exhaled. How can you get so much from colours?
"Ooh do me," Phoebe squealed.
Leo laughed softly and gazed at Phoebe's head. He relaxed his eyes and let the mist of Phoebe's aura form. "You're-"
"Paige?" came a voice from up the stairs. "Paige! Paige! PAIGE!" It got more frantic with each call, ending with a screaming yell of desperation.
Staring at each other in fear, Leo, Paige and Phoebe froze for a moment, before simultaneously making a dash for the stairs.
* * *
My mind feels like it's going to explode! Why is this happening to me? Why? I twist myself fervently, my body trying to rid itself of whatever demons are clawing their way around inside it. No luck.
"Paige!" the voice calls again. It sounds desparate, and frightened. It's my voice.
Then before I realise the door had opened, a woman is by my side, asking me frenzied questions, her face etched with worry. Her name comes to me a lot faster than it usually does. Paige.
Then a man comes in... Leo, and my sister, Phoebe, they rush over to my sides and clamour around me. The panic that holds me does not relent. For I still see what is scaring me.
Mom. She is standing just a little away from the foot of my bed. She stares at me, her eyes hard and enraged. I try not to look at her, because the very sight of what she now looks like sickens me.
Her hair hangs in tangled strands, sopping wet and dripping dirty lake water onto her shoulders. Her clothes are old, torn and dirty, also wet with water and there is a huge slash down the material at the front. She stands like a broken figure, hunched over and wailing painfully. Her face... oh her face...
Grotesque features replace her once appealing looks. Sunken and bloodshot eyes regard me solemnly and her mouth is twisted into an expression of agonised terror.
Slowly and painfully, she lifts a hand and points to my horrified face. "You don't love me... Piper... you don't love your own mom..."
"I do," I hear myself cry, "I do love you... just go away!" I know I love her but my plight is unavoidable - she is scaring me shitless.
I don't see Phoebe, Paige and Leo's frantic expressions as they try to restrain me, while I struggle against their hands in order to escape the soaked monster at the bottom of my bed. I feel just as wet now, my tears have covered me in anguished salt water, but I try not to think about it and concentrate on escaping.
Mom is coming closer, taking shaky steps towards me.
"No," I shout, my eyes wide. "Get her away from me! No!"
She lowers her hand and it touches my foot. The feeling travels up my body like a shockwave. Cold, slimy, and hateful.
I notice Leo again. "Leo," I plead, "Get me out of here... anywhere."
Mom is coming. She's coming to get her little girl.
Leo looks at me blankly.
"Help!" I roar, frustrated to breaking point. Then Paige hurls herself over my body and I feel myself begin to orb.