A/N: To who waited for this chapter: Thank you, and I'm sorry it's been so long. I've been having mundo writer's block with this damn story and today I just said to myself, "Right, wench, you're writing this damn story and you're writing it well."
So I'll write it... and if it's written well, well, I guess that's for you to decide! Thanks again. Weird time shifts guys. Weird.
A/N: Language, my friends, language. That naughty scamp Paige utters a terrible word. You have been forewarned.
A/N: Ooh, I'm finished writing now... a nice Christmas cliffhanger for you!
Chapter Nine: Nervous And Weird
"Okay, so we just took the wrong approach maybe," Paige stuttered. "I mean, maybe this isn't the right way to go about this. Maybe we should just try talking to her... uh, I don't know, counselling or something-"
"Paige," Phoebe cut her sister off. "Please."
Silence fell over Paige as she bit her tongue and tried to stop quivering. She perched on one of the kitchen chairs and groped at her temples with her finger tips. "I just... I just feel so helpless, Phoebe. It feels like we've tried everything and nothing's working."
Sniffing, Phoebe's eyes played over her younger sister, sitting there, looking so defeated. Her mouth was tight and her eyes squeezed shut, as if she had a huge headache. Phoebe had a headache. But she could bet it wasn't anything as awful as the war going on inside Piper's mind.
Phoebe placed a soft hand on Paige's shoulder. "We can't give up," she told her. "Piper's still there, I know she is. We just have to figure out a way of how to get her back."
* * *
I sit on my bed with my knees pulled right up to underneath my chin, which I rest on them, and stare at the walls in silence. How does it seem that they are moving towards me? Is the room getting smaller or am I getting bigger?
No, I'm not getting bigger. I feel tiny enough as it is. Confusion has warped me into a disillusionment; is this real, or simply my mind showing me things I don't really want to see? I saw them all right; Paige and Phoebe. They were in my dream. Funny as it seems, they've never been in my dreams before. It's always been people who are already dead.
Does that mean they are dead?
I start to cough loudly, feeling my throat fill with hatred. I have to get rid of it, all this anger, fear, loathing, disgust. My body shudders as I try to disperse the awful feelings inside me, but still they remain. I'm not angry at them, I don't hate them, I don't fear them either. All these emotions; the loathing, terror and despising... they're all directed at me.
For I remember what I did to them. And I remember that Rex Buckland was there, and I was in allegiance to him. And he commanded me to kill my sisters, and I paid heed. And that we fought, and that I struck Phoebe with my dagger. And that they disappeared. And that I found myself sitting up, struggling to breathe, choking out angry coughs and wishing I was dead.
The walls spring back to where they were, further away again, when my door opens and my sisters pour in. "Oh, thank God," I hear myself utter, and reach out to them, willing them to my arms.
But my happiness isn't to last. It never is. Paige glares at me with a face like thunder, and Phoebe picks up my bedside table-lamp, throwing it to the floor in rage. "How could you Piper?" she demands, "How could you kill your own sister?"
I can't describe the feeling that smashes into me. It feels like I've leapt off a cliff, free-falled to the ocean underneath, and this was the force of my body hitting the water. "What?" I stutter, completely thrown off. "But I... I didn't!"
"Yes you did," Paige joins Phoebe's side. They're both staring at me with loathing in their eyes. So I'm not the only one who hates myself. "You murdered her. You murdered her and you didn't even respect her enough to give her a decent burial. We found her Piper, we found her. She wasn't even properly in the ground."
My back is pressing against the headboard, wanting to escape this assault. "I don't know what you're talking about," I cry. "Paige, Phoebe - I, I didn't kill her!"
Phoebe sits on the end of my bed with tears in her eyes. "The knife was still in her back, Piper. When I touched it I had a premonition. Of the murder. I know it was you. Why did you do it?"
"She wasn't even under the ground," Paige screamed. "You just dragged her carcasse out back and dumped it in the bushes! What kind of monster are you? the first time I ever see Prue properly she's outside, half-frozen solid and with a fucking blade stuck between her shoulders!"
My head begins to pound incredibly, and I feel a scream building up inside my throat. Please, please stop, I silently beg. Just leave me alone!
They won't go. They continue with this onslaught of accusation. I try to close my ears but their words are too hateful, too spiteful, and I can't avoid reacting to what they are saying to me. How could they think I murdered Prue?
There's a high-pitched scream, it starts thinly at first, but gets louder and deeper as moments pass, until it's piercing my ears painfully. Phoebe and Paige wince slightly at the sound, but it makes no difference. When I stop screaming from despair, I begin to cry, my body racking as I lose all control over my emotions.
My sisters continue to shout, accuse, berate, hate me. They never cease.
* * *
When Phoebe and Paige had heard Piper coughing loudly above them, they had rushed up the stairs with the intention of checking she was awake. They hadn't bothered knocking on her door, they'd just burst in, and found her crouched up against the headboard of her bed, her knees drawn up to her chin in a childlike protective position.
When Piper saw them, she had extended her hands out towards them, searching, and uttered a few words: "Thank God." Her voice was relieved, but when Phoebe had tried to get to her, Piper had swung her arm to the side and knocked the lamp off her bedside table. It had fallen to the ground and shattered noisily.
"Piper? Piper, are you okay?" Phoebe had attempted, trying to coax Piper's mind into a calmer state. A saner state. It hadn't worked. Instead, Piper had looked at her as if she'd just uttered some sort of incredulation.
Her eyes had been huge, and dark. "But I..." she began, babbling. "I didn't!"
Holding Phoebe's hand supportingly, Paige had stared at her sister questioningly. "You didn't what, sweetie?" The two sisters watched Piper imploringly.
Piper had never looked more affected by such simple words. She had looked like Paige had just accused her of murder. It had turned out, however, that in Piper's mind, that was exactly what Paige had accused her of.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Piper had cried. "Paige, Phoebe - I, I didn't kill her!" She pressed herself up against her headboard, her white-knuckled fingers had gripped at folds in her duvet.
Tears had quickly gathered in Phoebe's eyes, and she had half-stumbled to sit down on her sister's bed. She looked at her folded hands for a moment before resuming eye contact with Piper. "Who didn't you kill Piper?"
At that moment, it had been too much for Paige. Rubbing a tough fist over her eyes, she hadn't been able to stop herself screaming in frustration. "God, Piper, what's wrong with you? Why won't you let us help you? Piper!" She didn't stop. Paige needed to vent her rage at Piper for doing this to her. How was she supposed to be a part of this family if one third of it was blocking her out like this? She was miserable. She didn't know how much longer she could remain a part of this.
"Paige," Phoebe had warned, "You're scaring her." She had tried to close her ears when Piper began to scream, but she couldn't. Her sister was in so much pain but there was nothing she could do. There was nothing.
Tears were pouring down Paige's cheeks when she'd collapsed onto the floor in agony, crying just like Piper was. "Why, Phoebe? Why is she doing this to us?"
As much as it had hurt Phoebe to blame Piper for the pain she held inside her, she couldn't help herself. "I don't know, Paige. I don't know."
Now they were sitting in Paige's room adjacent to Piper's, where they'd left their sister crying. Leo had stayed with her, and had clambered onto the bed beside his broken wife, laying beside her, silent.
Phoebe and Paige were silent too. They had nothing to say to each other. They rarely did these days.
Well, that wasn't true. In this instance, Paige had something to say. But she very much didn't want to.
A small noise escaped her throat unintentionally, which brought Phoebe's attention to her. Perhaps it was best to just speak up now rather than continue living in this hell until she couldn't stand her sisters or herself any longer. "Phoebe," she began slowly. "I'm... I'm thinking of moving back out."
So I'll write it... and if it's written well, well, I guess that's for you to decide! Thanks again. Weird time shifts guys. Weird.
A/N: Language, my friends, language. That naughty scamp Paige utters a terrible word. You have been forewarned.
A/N: Ooh, I'm finished writing now... a nice Christmas cliffhanger for you!
Chapter Nine: Nervous And Weird
"Okay, so we just took the wrong approach maybe," Paige stuttered. "I mean, maybe this isn't the right way to go about this. Maybe we should just try talking to her... uh, I don't know, counselling or something-"
"Paige," Phoebe cut her sister off. "Please."
Silence fell over Paige as she bit her tongue and tried to stop quivering. She perched on one of the kitchen chairs and groped at her temples with her finger tips. "I just... I just feel so helpless, Phoebe. It feels like we've tried everything and nothing's working."
Sniffing, Phoebe's eyes played over her younger sister, sitting there, looking so defeated. Her mouth was tight and her eyes squeezed shut, as if she had a huge headache. Phoebe had a headache. But she could bet it wasn't anything as awful as the war going on inside Piper's mind.
Phoebe placed a soft hand on Paige's shoulder. "We can't give up," she told her. "Piper's still there, I know she is. We just have to figure out a way of how to get her back."
* * *
I sit on my bed with my knees pulled right up to underneath my chin, which I rest on them, and stare at the walls in silence. How does it seem that they are moving towards me? Is the room getting smaller or am I getting bigger?
No, I'm not getting bigger. I feel tiny enough as it is. Confusion has warped me into a disillusionment; is this real, or simply my mind showing me things I don't really want to see? I saw them all right; Paige and Phoebe. They were in my dream. Funny as it seems, they've never been in my dreams before. It's always been people who are already dead.
Does that mean they are dead?
I start to cough loudly, feeling my throat fill with hatred. I have to get rid of it, all this anger, fear, loathing, disgust. My body shudders as I try to disperse the awful feelings inside me, but still they remain. I'm not angry at them, I don't hate them, I don't fear them either. All these emotions; the loathing, terror and despising... they're all directed at me.
For I remember what I did to them. And I remember that Rex Buckland was there, and I was in allegiance to him. And he commanded me to kill my sisters, and I paid heed. And that we fought, and that I struck Phoebe with my dagger. And that they disappeared. And that I found myself sitting up, struggling to breathe, choking out angry coughs and wishing I was dead.
The walls spring back to where they were, further away again, when my door opens and my sisters pour in. "Oh, thank God," I hear myself utter, and reach out to them, willing them to my arms.
But my happiness isn't to last. It never is. Paige glares at me with a face like thunder, and Phoebe picks up my bedside table-lamp, throwing it to the floor in rage. "How could you Piper?" she demands, "How could you kill your own sister?"
I can't describe the feeling that smashes into me. It feels like I've leapt off a cliff, free-falled to the ocean underneath, and this was the force of my body hitting the water. "What?" I stutter, completely thrown off. "But I... I didn't!"
"Yes you did," Paige joins Phoebe's side. They're both staring at me with loathing in their eyes. So I'm not the only one who hates myself. "You murdered her. You murdered her and you didn't even respect her enough to give her a decent burial. We found her Piper, we found her. She wasn't even properly in the ground."
My back is pressing against the headboard, wanting to escape this assault. "I don't know what you're talking about," I cry. "Paige, Phoebe - I, I didn't kill her!"
Phoebe sits on the end of my bed with tears in her eyes. "The knife was still in her back, Piper. When I touched it I had a premonition. Of the murder. I know it was you. Why did you do it?"
"She wasn't even under the ground," Paige screamed. "You just dragged her carcasse out back and dumped it in the bushes! What kind of monster are you? the first time I ever see Prue properly she's outside, half-frozen solid and with a fucking blade stuck between her shoulders!"
My head begins to pound incredibly, and I feel a scream building up inside my throat. Please, please stop, I silently beg. Just leave me alone!
They won't go. They continue with this onslaught of accusation. I try to close my ears but their words are too hateful, too spiteful, and I can't avoid reacting to what they are saying to me. How could they think I murdered Prue?
There's a high-pitched scream, it starts thinly at first, but gets louder and deeper as moments pass, until it's piercing my ears painfully. Phoebe and Paige wince slightly at the sound, but it makes no difference. When I stop screaming from despair, I begin to cry, my body racking as I lose all control over my emotions.
My sisters continue to shout, accuse, berate, hate me. They never cease.
* * *
When Phoebe and Paige had heard Piper coughing loudly above them, they had rushed up the stairs with the intention of checking she was awake. They hadn't bothered knocking on her door, they'd just burst in, and found her crouched up against the headboard of her bed, her knees drawn up to her chin in a childlike protective position.
When Piper saw them, she had extended her hands out towards them, searching, and uttered a few words: "Thank God." Her voice was relieved, but when Phoebe had tried to get to her, Piper had swung her arm to the side and knocked the lamp off her bedside table. It had fallen to the ground and shattered noisily.
"Piper? Piper, are you okay?" Phoebe had attempted, trying to coax Piper's mind into a calmer state. A saner state. It hadn't worked. Instead, Piper had looked at her as if she'd just uttered some sort of incredulation.
Her eyes had been huge, and dark. "But I..." she began, babbling. "I didn't!"
Holding Phoebe's hand supportingly, Paige had stared at her sister questioningly. "You didn't what, sweetie?" The two sisters watched Piper imploringly.
Piper had never looked more affected by such simple words. She had looked like Paige had just accused her of murder. It had turned out, however, that in Piper's mind, that was exactly what Paige had accused her of.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Piper had cried. "Paige, Phoebe - I, I didn't kill her!" She pressed herself up against her headboard, her white-knuckled fingers had gripped at folds in her duvet.
Tears had quickly gathered in Phoebe's eyes, and she had half-stumbled to sit down on her sister's bed. She looked at her folded hands for a moment before resuming eye contact with Piper. "Who didn't you kill Piper?"
At that moment, it had been too much for Paige. Rubbing a tough fist over her eyes, she hadn't been able to stop herself screaming in frustration. "God, Piper, what's wrong with you? Why won't you let us help you? Piper!" She didn't stop. Paige needed to vent her rage at Piper for doing this to her. How was she supposed to be a part of this family if one third of it was blocking her out like this? She was miserable. She didn't know how much longer she could remain a part of this.
"Paige," Phoebe had warned, "You're scaring her." She had tried to close her ears when Piper began to scream, but she couldn't. Her sister was in so much pain but there was nothing she could do. There was nothing.
Tears were pouring down Paige's cheeks when she'd collapsed onto the floor in agony, crying just like Piper was. "Why, Phoebe? Why is she doing this to us?"
As much as it had hurt Phoebe to blame Piper for the pain she held inside her, she couldn't help herself. "I don't know, Paige. I don't know."
Now they were sitting in Paige's room adjacent to Piper's, where they'd left their sister crying. Leo had stayed with her, and had clambered onto the bed beside his broken wife, laying beside her, silent.
Phoebe and Paige were silent too. They had nothing to say to each other. They rarely did these days.
Well, that wasn't true. In this instance, Paige had something to say. But she very much didn't want to.
A small noise escaped her throat unintentionally, which brought Phoebe's attention to her. Perhaps it was best to just speak up now rather than continue living in this hell until she couldn't stand her sisters or herself any longer. "Phoebe," she began slowly. "I'm... I'm thinking of moving back out."