The characters of LOTR as Spice Girls

This is a story I made with two of my friends. It is about the characters of LOTR if they were Spice Girls. We don't even like the Spice Girls, but we though that this would be funny. Now, I know that this isn't anything great, but it is our first post on fanfiction.net. Please let us know what you think!

Chapter 1: The Beginning of the Concert

Our story begins at a concert by the "One Ring Spice Girls". This is not all one group, but a bunch of members of other bands that have joined together for a benefit concert. The concert is a fundraiser for plastic surgery for Smeagol, and a manicure for Sauruman. Galadriel wanted a part of the profits to go to the elves, but this was denied. It was felt by the evil, greedy, corrupt, and major pain in the rear end manager of the concert, Sauron, that the elves would use the money for pointless things. The elves wanted to use the money for a shopping trip for Haldir and Galadriel, a new fluorescent light for Arwen (she can't glow without one), and more hair stylists for Legolas. The band members were planning on singing remakes of songs.and possibly doing some Karaoke. The concert did not really have a planned schedule.it was more of a festival type event. The band was going to sing whatever came to mind, and also take requests. Anyways.enough boring background stuff...on to the concert!!! Galadriel was chosen to be the announcer.she began by announcing herself. "Ladies and gentlemen, elves, dwarves, hobbits, and all other races present, welcome to the Middle Earth Benefits Concert!" This was followed by much applause from the audience, except from the hobbits, who were too busy eating to clap. "I'm Galadriel, but you can call me Psychic Spice! With me as always is Haldir, who I like to call Prissy Spice!" "Now to introduce the other members of the band", she said. "Here he is.the wise-cracking wizard, Gandalf, now known as Old Spice!" Old Spice walks on stage with various fireworks exploding behind him. "Next, we have Aragorn, aka Greasy Spice!" Aragorn walks out, wearing a plastic bag over his hair to prevent a single spark from starting a massive fire in his hair. "Here he is, the one you all love, Legolas.known as Sexy Spice!" Legolas walks out with his bow and arrows. He sees a very obnoxious fan who is screaming her lungs out. She has long straight brown hair, brown eyes, and stands an imposing 5 foot 2. She screams, "Leggy, I LOVE YOU!!!!" Sexy Spice rolls his eyes at her, and then proceeds to shoot her with an arrow, while muttering, "Damn short elves!" Galadriel says, "Now for the hobbits, Bilbo, Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin! The hobbits walk out as she announces their band names:Uncle Spice, Mithril Spice, Fat Spice, Hungry Spice, and Fool Spice. All cheer to the audience, except for Hungry Spice, who is too busy shoving his face full of mushrooms. "Here comes, Boromir, known here as Bull's Eye Spice!" Boromir walks on stage, is hit by three eggs thrown by audience members, and goes down. Galadriel looks at him, and says "Uh, moving on, here is Gimli...who we call Hairy Spice!" "Next we have Arwen, also know as Glowing Spice" Arwen walks out, glowing radiantly..and is followed by a large group of moths. Galadriel: "Now here he is, the big guy in charge, Elrond! He is called Daddy Spice!" Galadriel continues speaking: "Straight from Rohan, here are Theoden, Eomer, and Eowyn.who we call King Spice, Horse Spice, and Moody Spice!" Moody Spice immediately starts fighting with Glowing Spice over Greasy Spice. Fool Spice attempts to break up the fight saying, "Ladies, ladies, don't fight over him when you can have me!" Galadriel speaks again. "Lastly we have those you love to hate, the Balrog, Shelob, the Nazgul, Grima Wormtongue, and Gollum. Please welcome Fire Spice, Spider Spice, the Shrilling Spices, Worm Spice, and Split Personality Spice!" The audience boos loudly.

Well folks, that's all for now..I may add more later. I hope you liked it! Cya!