A/N: Uh actually guys... it wasn't Prue telling Paige to hurt herself. It was Paige... PsychoPaige and SanePaige if you will. Self battling and all that riff. Prue exists in Piper's conscience and hers only. I added the A/N about Prue because normally she and Piper have a laugh together but recently Prue has taken a turn for the nasty side, like in chapter last she called Piper a failure. As do we all frequently. However, if I intend to have Prue appear as part of anybody else's conscience, I will make it a lot more clearer. The only appearance our beloved Prudence had last chapter was to Piper when she said "Failure," reinforcing Piper's views of herself. Because she's sweet like that.
ANYways!
A/N: Oh and this time the warning isn't about violence or swearing. Think about the other kinda of stuff you get warned about... eww...
Psychosis
Apparently just before you die, your whole life flashes in front of your eyes.
For Paige, the life she never had unfolded itself to her.
Childhood with her real parents, her sisters. All those lost years. Every achievement, happiness, sadness, everything she hadn't had with this family...
She'd gotten as far as the time on her ninth birthday party when Prue had decided to give her sisters makeovers and they ended up looking like grotesque clowns when a light stirred her. Perhaps this was the 'go into the light, Paige' moment she'd been waiting for. She was dead. She knew it.
"Paige," said a soothing voice, sounding slightly detached from wherever she was. She felt a great movement, then slowly became conscious. An orange light, that was what she saw. Orange, glowing, healing.
Leo was nearly in tears with shock, disbelief and grief. If he'd arrived five minutes later she'd be dead. That's how close she'd become. That's how much blood she'd lost, that he was kneeling in right now. Paige's blood. Her life. He could feel her weak pulse through his hands, even though he wasn't touching her. It was taking a long time for his healing power to work. She was so close. After what seemed like an hour, the wounds on her wrists closed up, although her clothes and the floor remained soaked in blood. He breathed.
So did she, to his relief. Paige opened her eyes hazily and tried to make sense of what was happening. "Leo," she murmered, "Where's... Prue...?"
Frowning, Leo looked down at his littlest sister-in-law in concern. She must've been hallucinating or dreaming. What was happening here? The entire family had fallen apart! Piper was crazy, Paige was suicidal and Phoebe...
His face relaxed as a realisation hit him: he couldn't sense her. She was gone! Completely off his whitelighter radar. She wasn't dead; he'd have sensed that... but she wasn't - no. Just deal with Paige now.
"Paige, you're okay now," he told her, his voice firm-sounding.
"I'm not okay," Paige whispered, her voice barely audible.
She breathed in shudderingly as he clamped his hands onto her shoulders and gently lifted her torso so she was held in his arms. Gazing into his glimmering eyes, she felt an inexplicable urge to touch those soft lips, to comfort him with love of her own. She lay in his arms, watching him.
"You are okay," he insisted with a soft voice. She tipped her head up, signalling her desires. He responded by leaning down and gently pressing his lips onto hers.
His taste, his touch, his sheer melting warmth, it all sunk into Paige until she became a part of him. The consistant yet light pressure on her lips, his nature embodied in one action, the smoothness of his teeth, his tongue entering her mouth and quietly exploring.
A low moan built in the back of her throat as his hands moved around her back and he lifted her further. She was floating in the air with him, they were levitating surrounded in rainbow-coloured orbs.
"Paige," he muttered. "Paige come on." His voice was beginning to clarify. He was worried about something, scared. "Paige please..."
She opened her eyes and saw a warm orange glow over her whole body. "Leo..."
His face was agonising to look at. So much pain. "Yes Paige, come on, pull through. You can do it."
She tried to form the word but stuttered. "What?" How was she on the floor again? When had they stopped kissing? How were the cuts on her arms back again? Alertness was slowly bringing itself to her, and she managed to lift her head to survey her body.
"Paige, don't look," Leo told her quickly. "Don't look until I say..."
It was too late. A high-pitched cry escaped her. She wasn't prepared for the blood. Oh god the blood! She was covered in it! Her clothes, her skin, the floor, even Leo was sitting in it, kneeling in her own life, her bitter salty life, her sickly sweet rustic blood. It was everywhere but inside her. "Oh god I did it I really did it," she babbled in disbelief.
Setting his jaw, Leo tried to look determined but in this situation it was impossible. "Don't worry about it Paige, it's okay."
"It's not okay! Oh my god Leo don't you, I can't... I can't... oh god, oh god," words spewed out of her mouth in a surge of disbelieving shock. She watched as the huge cuts on her arms sealed themselve shut but the blood remained, everywhere. It was on her body, in her hair, in her mouth, it was in all the places it shouldn't be.
Leo was watching her with a frown engraved on his face. It looked as if his expression might never change. "Paige, come on, we'll get you cleaned up."
"I don't," Paige stuttlered, her voice squeakily high, "I don't... I don't..."
"Shh," he calmly reached down and took her hands, pulling her to her feet. With an arm around her shoulders, he walked her into the bathroom and turned on the shower. He was awkward for a moment, but decided that it was immature of him to shy away from Paige, that there were more important things for him to worry about. Carefully and gently, he undressed her to her underwear and helped her into the shower. "I'll be right back," he told her firmly and left the room.
Standing under the warm water, Paige continued to choke on her breathing. She just couldn't handle what she'd done. Nearly killed Phoebe, nearly killed herself. What was happening to her? How long was it going to be before she wasn't stopped in time and actually took a life?
A whimper built in her throat as she looked down and saw the water draining into the hole was red. Quivering, she brought her eyes to her wrist and examined it for any traces of what she'd just done to them. Nothing. They were smooth and pale as ever. Perhaps paler. She felt so white against the red of the blood.
Moments later, Leo was back with fresh clothes. He'd taken away the dirty ones. He reached into the shower, soaking the arm of his slightly bloodied shirt, and stroked her face, slowly, gently, and just once.
His touch sent shivers right through Paige's body and she lifted her own hand to hold onto his own. Delicately yet deliberately, she pulled on his wrist, drawing him closer to her body. Here she was exposed for him, ready for him. Her mouth was open and her breath came out more steadily, more heavily, and she longed for him to kiss her once more.
He adhered to her wishes. Pressing his lips against hers, his hands crept around her body and held onto her. His breathing was ragged too, and the lust in the air felt electric between them.
Teasingly, she stepped away, further into the pattering water which plastered her usually volumous hair to her cheeks, and threw him a smile. He grinned widely in return and his mouth fell open as she undid her bra and dropped it onto the floor.
She stood there, naked in the water as he began to undress himself also, tugging off his shirt and she giggled as he hurriedly took off his pants. Then he stepped into the shower and pressed her up against the wall, planting kisses up and down her neck.
A sharp intake of breath marked the point where Leo Wyatt entered Paige Halliwell, leaning against the cold tiles of the wall while the hot water cascaded down their bodies. She gasped once more and closed her eyes, leaning back and tipping her head upwards.
The bathroom door loudly closed. "Oh god, Paige, I'm sorry!" Leo's panicked voice roused her from her dream. Why was he so anxious? He'd done nothing wrong up until... wait, what was she thinking? Leo? Were they having sex right now?
Her eyes snapped open and to her mixed emotional realisation, she was alone in the shower, Leo was fully dressed outside and he was averting his eyes to the point that it was almost offensive. Unsure whether to be shocked, embarrassed, disappointed or plain confused. She was glad it hadn't happened, even though it had felt so good...
Lurching towards the towels he'd brought in with him, Paige wrapped one around her and backed away from him slowly. "I'm... I'm..." she mumbled. "I'm gonna get dressed."
"Okay," he replied, finally bringing his eyes back onto her now she was suitably covered. "If you need me, just yell."
Paige left the room and made her way to her dresser. 'Oh I won't be doing that,' she told herself. 'What's wrong with me?'
A/N: That shower part, that was horrible, that was like writing porn. Ugh!
Hope you liked it KIT!
Thank to Nikki (Wendigo Piper) for giving this the go-ahead, I really needed your thoughts. Merci!
ANYways!
A/N: Oh and this time the warning isn't about violence or swearing. Think about the other kinda of stuff you get warned about... eww...
Psychosis
Apparently just before you die, your whole life flashes in front of your eyes.
For Paige, the life she never had unfolded itself to her.
Childhood with her real parents, her sisters. All those lost years. Every achievement, happiness, sadness, everything she hadn't had with this family...
She'd gotten as far as the time on her ninth birthday party when Prue had decided to give her sisters makeovers and they ended up looking like grotesque clowns when a light stirred her. Perhaps this was the 'go into the light, Paige' moment she'd been waiting for. She was dead. She knew it.
"Paige," said a soothing voice, sounding slightly detached from wherever she was. She felt a great movement, then slowly became conscious. An orange light, that was what she saw. Orange, glowing, healing.
Leo was nearly in tears with shock, disbelief and grief. If he'd arrived five minutes later she'd be dead. That's how close she'd become. That's how much blood she'd lost, that he was kneeling in right now. Paige's blood. Her life. He could feel her weak pulse through his hands, even though he wasn't touching her. It was taking a long time for his healing power to work. She was so close. After what seemed like an hour, the wounds on her wrists closed up, although her clothes and the floor remained soaked in blood. He breathed.
So did she, to his relief. Paige opened her eyes hazily and tried to make sense of what was happening. "Leo," she murmered, "Where's... Prue...?"
Frowning, Leo looked down at his littlest sister-in-law in concern. She must've been hallucinating or dreaming. What was happening here? The entire family had fallen apart! Piper was crazy, Paige was suicidal and Phoebe...
His face relaxed as a realisation hit him: he couldn't sense her. She was gone! Completely off his whitelighter radar. She wasn't dead; he'd have sensed that... but she wasn't - no. Just deal with Paige now.
"Paige, you're okay now," he told her, his voice firm-sounding.
"I'm not okay," Paige whispered, her voice barely audible.
She breathed in shudderingly as he clamped his hands onto her shoulders and gently lifted her torso so she was held in his arms. Gazing into his glimmering eyes, she felt an inexplicable urge to touch those soft lips, to comfort him with love of her own. She lay in his arms, watching him.
"You are okay," he insisted with a soft voice. She tipped her head up, signalling her desires. He responded by leaning down and gently pressing his lips onto hers.
His taste, his touch, his sheer melting warmth, it all sunk into Paige until she became a part of him. The consistant yet light pressure on her lips, his nature embodied in one action, the smoothness of his teeth, his tongue entering her mouth and quietly exploring.
A low moan built in the back of her throat as his hands moved around her back and he lifted her further. She was floating in the air with him, they were levitating surrounded in rainbow-coloured orbs.
"Paige," he muttered. "Paige come on." His voice was beginning to clarify. He was worried about something, scared. "Paige please..."
She opened her eyes and saw a warm orange glow over her whole body. "Leo..."
His face was agonising to look at. So much pain. "Yes Paige, come on, pull through. You can do it."
She tried to form the word but stuttered. "What?" How was she on the floor again? When had they stopped kissing? How were the cuts on her arms back again? Alertness was slowly bringing itself to her, and she managed to lift her head to survey her body.
"Paige, don't look," Leo told her quickly. "Don't look until I say..."
It was too late. A high-pitched cry escaped her. She wasn't prepared for the blood. Oh god the blood! She was covered in it! Her clothes, her skin, the floor, even Leo was sitting in it, kneeling in her own life, her bitter salty life, her sickly sweet rustic blood. It was everywhere but inside her. "Oh god I did it I really did it," she babbled in disbelief.
Setting his jaw, Leo tried to look determined but in this situation it was impossible. "Don't worry about it Paige, it's okay."
"It's not okay! Oh my god Leo don't you, I can't... I can't... oh god, oh god," words spewed out of her mouth in a surge of disbelieving shock. She watched as the huge cuts on her arms sealed themselve shut but the blood remained, everywhere. It was on her body, in her hair, in her mouth, it was in all the places it shouldn't be.
Leo was watching her with a frown engraved on his face. It looked as if his expression might never change. "Paige, come on, we'll get you cleaned up."
"I don't," Paige stuttlered, her voice squeakily high, "I don't... I don't..."
"Shh," he calmly reached down and took her hands, pulling her to her feet. With an arm around her shoulders, he walked her into the bathroom and turned on the shower. He was awkward for a moment, but decided that it was immature of him to shy away from Paige, that there were more important things for him to worry about. Carefully and gently, he undressed her to her underwear and helped her into the shower. "I'll be right back," he told her firmly and left the room.
Standing under the warm water, Paige continued to choke on her breathing. She just couldn't handle what she'd done. Nearly killed Phoebe, nearly killed herself. What was happening to her? How long was it going to be before she wasn't stopped in time and actually took a life?
A whimper built in her throat as she looked down and saw the water draining into the hole was red. Quivering, she brought her eyes to her wrist and examined it for any traces of what she'd just done to them. Nothing. They were smooth and pale as ever. Perhaps paler. She felt so white against the red of the blood.
Moments later, Leo was back with fresh clothes. He'd taken away the dirty ones. He reached into the shower, soaking the arm of his slightly bloodied shirt, and stroked her face, slowly, gently, and just once.
His touch sent shivers right through Paige's body and she lifted her own hand to hold onto his own. Delicately yet deliberately, she pulled on his wrist, drawing him closer to her body. Here she was exposed for him, ready for him. Her mouth was open and her breath came out more steadily, more heavily, and she longed for him to kiss her once more.
He adhered to her wishes. Pressing his lips against hers, his hands crept around her body and held onto her. His breathing was ragged too, and the lust in the air felt electric between them.
Teasingly, she stepped away, further into the pattering water which plastered her usually volumous hair to her cheeks, and threw him a smile. He grinned widely in return and his mouth fell open as she undid her bra and dropped it onto the floor.
She stood there, naked in the water as he began to undress himself also, tugging off his shirt and she giggled as he hurriedly took off his pants. Then he stepped into the shower and pressed her up against the wall, planting kisses up and down her neck.
A sharp intake of breath marked the point where Leo Wyatt entered Paige Halliwell, leaning against the cold tiles of the wall while the hot water cascaded down their bodies. She gasped once more and closed her eyes, leaning back and tipping her head upwards.
The bathroom door loudly closed. "Oh god, Paige, I'm sorry!" Leo's panicked voice roused her from her dream. Why was he so anxious? He'd done nothing wrong up until... wait, what was she thinking? Leo? Were they having sex right now?
Her eyes snapped open and to her mixed emotional realisation, she was alone in the shower, Leo was fully dressed outside and he was averting his eyes to the point that it was almost offensive. Unsure whether to be shocked, embarrassed, disappointed or plain confused. She was glad it hadn't happened, even though it had felt so good...
Lurching towards the towels he'd brought in with him, Paige wrapped one around her and backed away from him slowly. "I'm... I'm..." she mumbled. "I'm gonna get dressed."
"Okay," he replied, finally bringing his eyes back onto her now she was suitably covered. "If you need me, just yell."
Paige left the room and made her way to her dresser. 'Oh I won't be doing that,' she told herself. 'What's wrong with me?'
A/N: That shower part, that was horrible, that was like writing porn. Ugh!
Hope you liked it KIT!
Thank to Nikki (Wendigo Piper) for giving this the go-ahead, I really needed your thoughts. Merci!