Author's Note: I know, I know, I'm being horrible. Haven't updated in forever and this is short and stupid. Again. To tell the truth, this story is starting to piss me off with it's sucktacularity. But I'll get over it and start updating more regularly, and more substantially pretty soon, I hope. Although the start of the track season may leave me too exhausted to type over 3 wpm.

Anyway, "The Six Million Dollar Man" is American. As is "Bewitched." However, plenty of American shows are aired in Britain, so chances are these two were, too. I do have the time period right, at least.

A List of Really Amazing People: Nasha Potter, Kizzy, Hyper Princess, Rini, Streaky_Sammy, Lily Evans, courtneybeene, quitesirius, Unrepentant Reader, Amberdulen, G.D. Jade, sneef22, Ice Princess, Kimmy Larisa, surfboard chick, and Devonny Stratton. I love hearing from you all!

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter characters and setting, which belong to J.K. Rowling, nor do I own "The Six Million Dollar Man" or "Bewitched," though I don't know who does. Something tells me, however, that whoever it is does not have lawyers lurking around FanFiction.net, waiting to find people to sue. Oh yes, and those heavy math books Lily chucks at James' head? They belong to the cruel heartless bastards over at the University of Chicago.



DA-DA-DUN DA-DA-DUN, DA-DA-DUN-DUN-DUN! A trumpet blare sounded in the Gryffindor fourth year girls' dormitory at 9:00 Saturday morning, causing something of a ruckus.

Eve sat up in her bed with a start and cried, "I didn't do it!"

Kasey fell out her bed. Lying tangled in a sea of covers on the floor, she opened one eye and mumbled, "Are the elephants gone?"

There was no sound from Clarissa's four-poster.

Lily giggled at Eve and Kasey, earning two ferocious glares.

"What," Eve demanded, "was that?"

"I magnified my Alarmus charm so it would wake us all up," Lily replied evenly.

There were muffled threats coming from the knot of blankets on the floor beside Kasey's bed, and Eve shouted, "Why would you want to do something like as bloody idiotic as that?"

Ignoring her friends, Lily walked over to Clarissa's bed and pulled aside the curtains. The blonde was fast asleep.

"How is that possible?" Eve cried, thoroughly exasperated. "Are you sure she's not dead?"

"She is breathing," Lily observed. She bent down and shouted directly into her friend's ear, "CLARISSA! SIRIUS BLACK JUST PROPOSED TO YOU!"

Clarissa jolted awake. "Huh - Si - what?"

Her roommates giggled. "Get up," Lily told her sternly. "We have a busy day ahead of us."

"Lily," Eve pointed out, "It's a bleeding Saturday. The only thing we have to do is sleep in," here she shot another glare at her redheaded friend, "and go to meals, and be lazy."

There were general expressions of assent coming from the mass of blankets that was Kasey, and Clarissa nodded sleepily. "I've got other plans," Lily informed them briskly. "It's time to delve into Petunia's Pretend-You're-Not-A-Witch Survival Kit. That's right, girls," she paused dramatically, "today, we will see what it is to be a Muggle in 1973."

"I already know what it is," Clarissa complained. "I used to be one, too, remember?"

"All the better," Lily answered cheerfully. "You'll have plenty of experience. Now let's get some breakfast, we'll need the nourishment later." Eve and Clarissa helped her to extricate Kasey (who had fallen back asleep) from her tangled blanket and the foursome trooped, with varying degrees of enthusiasm, down to the Great Hall.

They took seats across from James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter, Lily being sure to sit as far from James as possible. "What are you four up to today?" Remus asked them cheerfully. He, like Lily, and unlike the rest of their friends, was a morning person.

"Lily's forcing us to -" Eve began, but Lily cut her off.

"We're learning how to be Muggles!" she told them.

"Petunia's package?" Remus inquired knowingly, and she nodded.

"Hey!" Sirius spoke up. "Did she send you that American television show, The 'Six Million Dollar Man'?"

"Probably," Lily replied. "It's fairly popular, isn't it?"

Sirius was very excited. "That's my favorite show! I watched it all hols!"

"In that case, you are most formally invited to the Hogwart's premier screening," Lily told him, grinning.

"Brilliant! Let's all go!"



An hour later the eight fourteen year olds (Lily had scowled when James entered with his friends, but said nothing) reconvened in what Lily proudly introduced to them as the Audio-Visual Room. The Gryffindors, especially the wizard-born, which was everyone but Lily, Clarissa, and Sirius, stared openly at enormous television screen and array of stereo equipment.

"What on earth's a room like this doing at Hogwarts?" James finally asked incredulously.

Lily shrugged, grinning. "I asked Dumbledore if there was a VCR anywhere, and he showed me this place. Said he liked watching 'Bewitched' reruns."

Sirius snorted. "Now I've heard it all."

Lily was bending over the enormous box. She tossed a few videos at Sirius. "Black, pop these in for me, will you?" He saluted. "All right, now, this isn't all fun and games. We've got to go through the schoolbooks as well. Everyone gets a text and takes notes."

There was a lot of very loud groaning.

"The alternative, of course," Lily added menacingly, "being the extremely nasty hex Aunt Arabella taught me over the summer." Lily's aunt, the only other person of magical blood in Lily's family, was a prominent auror. Everyone quickly shut up. "That's better. Pettigrew and Donnelly, take European History. Lupin, you and Kasey share Physics and Chemistry. Black, you and Adensen take Austen, Keats, and Shelley. I've got Shakespeare, and James has maths."

James winced at the formal way she said his name. Lily always called her male friends by their last names. Too bad he'd never be one of them again. He stopped dwelling on this fact, however, when he caught sight of the books she had thrown at him.

"Are you kidding me?" He gasped. "These things must be 400 pages long, each!" He began flipping through the pages, his eyes getting wider and wider. "And I don't understand a word of it!"

Lily smiled sweetly. "Happy reading, all of you. Now let's start the video."