Author's Note: Ten million years later, I've written another 700 words. It's pathetic. Really. I don't know why you people put up with me, but you do, and I love you for it! Anyway, I blame school, apparently the whole skip-homework-to-write-fanfiction thing really does have an effect on your grades, so I was working my butt off playing catchup this week. And now you have another short pointless chapter. Feel free to yell at me in your review, I know I deserve it.

The following people have full flaming rights: Sierra Sitruc, Princess Hermione, Quinn, Kimmy Larisa, Hyper Princess, SeraphAngel (sorry about the heart attack, hope I haven't caused another! As for liking math...well, there's just no accounting for taste :)), Ginny, Rini (can't resist putting an R&J reference in all my L/J's, it's becoming my trademark), Erin Faith (Ack, you're absolutely right! Thanks for pointing that right, I meant to say five), Snoopy511, Nasha Potter (polynomials and quadratics give me nervous breakdowns all the time, let me tell you - and as for reading fanfiction instead of your English paper, trust me, I've been there), Alannah (who left my 100th review! Ahh! Congratulations, Pads!), Calime, Snowlily (Wow, your review was great, it made me laugh so hard - and I'm *very* flattered), Anonarien, and Revti/Prof. Moriarty (Ugh, I know, I realized that after I had written it and couldn't bear to go back and fix it because a. I'm extremely lazy and b. I really like Silvius and couldn't think of a good "J" name...I'll get around to it eventually, though.) Thanks for the reviews, you guys are the greatest!

Quinn told me in her last review that she had to re-read the whole fic, so I realized I'd better start putting summaries in each chapter, it's the least I can do. So Lily and James are currently in a huge fight over who will be made prefect next year and several incidents involving their Transfiguration project (a blue stuffed kangaroo they have been assigned to animate.) Meanwhile, James has been noticing some strange occurences around the castle, and Lily is struggling with a crash course on Muggle lifestyle courtesy of Petunia. Hopefully it's all coming back now.

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters or the world they live in. I'm working on it, though.

By the way, if you think this Author's Note is ridiculously long because I was trying to make the chapter look longer, you're right.

Special Agent Matilda was on a highly classified mission to the boys' dorms. The blue kangaroo hopped stealthily through the Common Room and up the staircase, keeping to the shadows, finally quietly pushing her way into the fourth years' room. The agent's plastic eyes scanned the beds and located her target. She bounded noiselessly onto the conveniently empty bed and began to rig an intricate system of magically timed water balloons. When each had been arranged to hit the bed's occupant in a different place, Matilda hopped back to the other side of Gryffindor Tower.

Mission accomplished.



"My, James, you look cheerful this morning," Eve informed him at breakfast. He was stirring his oatmeal so violently that it was spilling over the edges.

Scowling ferociously, James snarled, "Maybe it's because I was woken up after five hours of sleep by half the Hogwarts' Lake!"

His three dormmates, who had obviously been holding back laughter, began snickering while the girls giggled helplessly. Lily was careful to maintain a perfectly angelic attitude.

"I just hope," James continued, cutting up a banana rather viciously, "that Lily had nothing to do with this, because that would mean," he paused to plop a banana slice into the oatmeal, splashing even more onto the table, "that I stayed up all night" - plop - "finishing her Muggle work" - plop - "for nothing."

There was a very painful silence. Lily stared at James, who was now concentrating very hard on adding blueberries to his cereal and refusing to look up.

Finally, Peter ventured, "Does anyone know what we have first today?"

"Herbology," Clarissa replied quickly, glad to dispell the tension.

A debate on whether Professor Petrie would finally allow them to move on from Morpheus Fungi ensued, but no one missed that neither Lily nor James participated. Both were now fully absorbed in their breakfast, and both were thinking of the other with considerable confusion.

At least, Lily concluded, they would be going on holiday the next morning. A week without James Potter and his increasingly strange behavior was looking better and better.



Aboard the Hogwarts Express the next day, Lily was presented with reports of varying thoroughness and accuracy on Muggle culture and academics. Eve had taken careful notes on the writing styles of prominent English poets, while Sirius had written her a letter on why Darcy was a stuffed shirt who had turned his back on his childhood friend Wickham, proving that he'd not made it halfway through Pride and Prejudice. Peter and Clarissa spent nearly a half hour recounting the life and times of the English monarchs with great spirit. Remus did his best to explain ionic and covalent bonding, but Lily found it so boring that in the end Kasey advised her, in the unlikely event that Chemistry came up in conversation, to quickly spout off something from the Transfiguration textbook. "It'll sound like you're talking about Muggle science, if you're confusing enough," she assured Lily.

Just as the train was pulling into King's Cross Station, James approached her with a stony expression. "Here you are," he said tonelessly, dropping a packet of papers into Lily's lap. "I'll see you after holiday, I suppose." He did not sound particularly happy about it.

Lily stared at the detailed chapter explanations in front of her. It must have taken him hours...but no, she reminded herself. James wouldn't spend that much time on something that didn't matter to him; he'd probably scribbled something down in five minutes.

Still, she caught his arm before he could follow the others off the train and said softly, "Thank you, James. I know I haven't deserved...all this." She indicated the thickness of the packet.

He stared back at her for a moment, dark eyes unreadable, before shrugging uncomfortably. "It wasn't anything," he muttered, grabbing his trunk and hurrying to catch up with Sirius. Lily watched him go, sighed, and followed suit. Stepping through the partition, she eagerly scanned the station for her family.

"Lily!" Her mother waved from a bench against the opposite wall. "Over here, dear!" Lily smiled and hurried to the small group. Her parents were beaming at her, Petunia was smiling excitedly, and a long-haired girl a few inches taller than Lily was staring at her with sharp eyes, scrutinizing Lily's beat up trunk, faded jeans and rugby shirt with unconcealed interest.

It looked as though Lily was meeting the infamous Kendall Grant at last.