Chapter 9              Everything For The One Thing I Can't Have

Author's notes: KONNICHIWA MINNA-SAN!!! ..^-^ ff.net is still down while I'm typing this, but datz ok, I'll post it up when ff.net is up. I am Really Really happy because I got my FIRST 100th review!! ^-^ thanx for all those who reviewed, I'm really happy. *evil emzo, my 100th reviewer! Lol..*

Legend:

Italics- Thoughts of a character

*author's notes* - author's notes/my notes

((…..)) – Extra info

"….." – Dialogue

~~~~~~ - Scene changer/ divider

Thank you's:

Miss scary girl- Hi meggie-chan! Thnx for ur ….LONG review, lol, yah, im mean I like to torture Sakura, hahah, jk jk, lol, newayz, cyaz

Delita Mukara Renofetear – Thnx for ur review! I hope u'll like tis chapter too!

Sana-kun- I'm glad you like my story ^-^ thnx a lot for ur review!

Jeah- no prob, and thnx! ^^

Cherrywolf- Sakura-chan's bf was snoozing while she was getting killed, lol, jk, i just wanted to create some S&S stuff, so her bf wouldn't fit too well in here, lol.

Evil Emzo – HIYA!! Yay, ur my 100th reviewer! Even tho u reviewed 4 times for this chapter…lol, thnx! ..*sniff* I never see u online on msn!!!!!!!

Jen- thnx for reviewing! I hope u like tis chapter

TomoyoTeng- heya, lol, those pix were so weird!!!!! Wel…da ones I was in newayz, lol, cuz im so ugly, haha,…Kel wanna grow her hair as long as it is in da beginning of school…

Emerald Pearls- I luv ur story so much!! When r YOU going to update it?? Lol…thnx for ur review, I'm going to continue it don't worry, so u don hafta strangle me now…I wanna live too yak no…

Qtpie- thnx!! I continue it now…lol

Tsuki- sowwy,..it was too short, I hope tis is ok, if its not, I'll make the next chapter longer..

Okihs-well now u'll kno wut she feels, ^^ thnx for ur review!

Devilblossomgrl- thnx! Heres da next chappie…^^

Aeirsakura and Smashfriends- thnx so much!! I hope u'll enjoy this chappie too…^^

Sahmandah- Fank u lotsies! Lol…datz my language, im weird as u can tell…newayz, I hope u like tis chappie too^^

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            Sakura lifted her head, and saw Shiko and Syaoran sitting at the table. Sakura was shocked, she wasn't even aware that Shiko KNEW Syaoran, she felt really weird. It wasn't anger, it wasn't jealousy, but it didn't feel good. Syaoran wasn't her boyfriend, she couldn't be jealous, but Shiko hadn't told her she knew him, but then again, she never said she didn't. Sakura shook her head, and picked up the can. She skated home as fast as she could. Images of Shiko and Syaoran, laughing, smiling, talking, still floods her mind, and she's not sure of what to think or what to do.

            "I'm home!" Sakura shouted, as she came into the house.

            "Start dinner, I'm starving, kaijuu" Touya complained. Sakura just ignored him, and went into the kitchen to start dinner.

            That's strange…Sakura always get angry every time I call her Kaijuu, but she just ignored me….Touya thought.

            "Erm…is there something wrong?" Touya asked in a low voice, feeling very embarrassed to show care for his sister.

            "hm..nothing, I'm just really tired, and I'm hungry, I'll finish dinner soon," Sakura said. Touya shrugged and went out the kitchen.

            That night, Sakura wondered how the next day would be. How would she face Syaoran? Would she just pretend it never happened, or should she say something about it? She didn't have an answer to her questions.

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            "Sakura, you're going to be late for school, if you don't wake up now!!!!" A loud voice interrupted Sakura from her sleep. She turned around, and her eyelids slowly fluttered open.

            "OK OK..kero-chan, you don't need to yell at me" Sakura yawned. Kero sweat dropped.

            "You're so lazy, you're going to be late!!! School starts in 15 minutes!!!" Kero said. Sakura's eyes flung open.

            "KERO!!! WHY DIDN"T YOU WAKE ME UP EARLIER?!?!" Sakura yelled, and rushed to get dressed.

            "…I Did…you just didn't listen." Kero said, and turned to his video games with a 'hmph'.

            "Ohayo Otou-san, oni-chan!" Sakura greeted on her way down, and grabbed her breakfast, she quickly put on her skates and left. Fujitaka shook his head.

            " The usual Sakura…can't you be ON time for once?" Fujitaka said with a smile. Sakura sweat dropped.

            "er..hehe…Ja!" Sakura said, and left.

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            "Ohayo Tomoyo-chan!" Sakura smiled. She turned around and saw Syaoran. Her smile slowly faded, as memories enter her head once more. She turned around, and decided not to greet him for some reason, she didn't think she was jealous, but maybe some part of her was. Tasaoran smiled as he came into the room, he wrapped his arms around Sakura's waist and kissed her on the cheek. Sakura blushed. Tomoyo smiled, she turned around to see Syaoran, whom seemed to be very concentrated on his work.

          "Ohayo Li-Kun.." Tomoyo smiled. Syaoran looked up, and greeted her with a slight nod. Syaoran looked at Sakura, he couldn't find a way to take his eyes off of her, but as his eyes wandered, and met her eyes, She quickly looked away, into Tasaoran's eyes instead.

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         "Sakura-chan!" Shiko called, as she saw her at lunch. Sakura slightly smiled, and looked away. Shiko looked puzzled.

         "Is there something wrong?" She asked. Sakura shook her head quickly, and forced a smile..a fake smile. Shiko tilted her head to a side.

         "I…never mind" Sakura said…she wanted to ask her about yesterday, but she decided not to.

         "Want to get a drink after school today?" Shiko asked cheerfully.

         "hmm….don't you have to go with Syaoran," Sakura said unconsciously. She quickly covered her mouth with her hand.

         "Oh.. um, never mind," Sakura said quickly, not believing she actually said that.

         "Sakura-chan…did you see me and Li-Kun yesterday?" Shiko asked. Sakura nodded a bit.

         "gomen Nasai I never told you I knew him, I met him actually quite some time ago, before I met you, but I never told you, and don't worry, I don't like Li-kun, he's just my friend" Shiko said with a chuckle. Sakura's cheeks turned bright red.

         "Um…it's ok, um why would I mind if you like Li-Kun, it's none of my business, I'll have to congratulate you if you guys are together," Sakura said quickly. Shiko smiled.

        "Whatever you like to say, and I am, terribly sorry I didn't tell you, I hope you can forgive me" Shiko said.

        "no, it's ok, I just wondered why you didn't tell me, that's all, it's ok I forgive you," Sakura said. She was never really angry at Shiko, she felt a tinge of betrayal, but she'd forgotten already, and she felt painful, but she wasn't sure anymore.

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         "Sakura-chan, I have to go, ja ne!" Tasaoran called to Sakura after school, he hugged her and kissed her lightly on the lips. Syaoran passed by them and avoided them. Sakura followed him with her eyes as he packed his bag, and headed out the door. She packed her bag, and headed out the door behind him.

         Syaoran was in front of Sakura, as they walked home on the same road, Suddenly something from her back pack fell out, and she went to grab it, as somebody with a bike was riding really fast, and was about to crash into her, but Syaoran pulled her out of the way. Sakura brushed the dirt off her dress, and she looked up to face a pair of deep amber eyes.

         "….daijoubo desu ka?" He asked embarrassingly. She nodded.

         "…Kinomoto-san…I have something to ask you…" He said. Sakura nodded.

         "um…go ahead," she said.

         "…you know my feelings for you, but you still haven't answered my question…do you still love me?" He asked her bluntly. She put her hand to her forehead, and was really frustrated.

         "…I don't know, I really don't know," she said. He didn't look satisfied with her answer

         "I've been very patient with this already, haven't you had enough time to think?!...Oh yah, I forgot, You have a boy friend, that doesn't even know you knew me before," he snapped. Sakura got angry.

         "Me?! Look who's talking!...you're the one who went out with Shiko that I wasn't even aware of," She said.

         "I just went out to eat with her as a friend," He said, gritting his teeth.

         "O right, if you're going out, why can't I spend some time with my BOY FRIEND," she yelled. Syaoran couldn't believe this.

         "…you know what? Forget it, I'm not going to stand here and listen to this," He said, and he ran away, with a pain in his heart. Sakura stood there in shock, and confusion. She had a headache and she didn't know what she had done.

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        "Meiling…things aren't getting any better, and nothing's changed…I don't know if this is working!!" Tomoyo said worriedly to Meiling on the phone.

        "I didn't think it would be so complicated, but I think some how inside my beloved cousin's heart, he's found an answer, but he's refusing to believe it, I know he loves Sakura, but I know Sakura is very confused," Meiling said.

        "I think they need some time of peace and quiet, and figure things out, this is the best we can do for them," Tomoyo nodded, and looked away sadly.

        Syaoran's eyelids fluttered open, and to find himself surrounded by light. He looked confusedly around him, and a voice said, "Syaoran, Let me take you to a guided tour," Syaoran frowned, and he was really confused,

                "Where am i??" He asked.

               "….you don't need to know that," the voice said softly, and suddenly Syaoran entered an image. In front of him, he saw Sakura and Tasaoran cutting a white layered cake. Sakura was in a beautiful white silky dress, with layers, and a white soft veil was over her long auburn hair. The smile on her face was big, and Syaoran don't remember seeing her ever this happy before. She kissed Tasaoran, and the happiness on them was priceless, Syaoran's eyes watered, he thought anger and jealousy would take over him, but instead, he found peace, and a smile creeping on his mouth. Then the image vanished, and he entered another image of Sakura. She was in the same beautiful dress, but the one beside her wasn't Tasaoran, it was Syaoran. The smile on Syaoran's lips disappeared, as he saw that lovely smile on her face was no longer there, and a frown instead.

              Suddenly it disappeared, and Syaoran sat up in his bed. It was a dream. He couldn't understand. How could he feel happy when Sakura was with Tasaoran, but painful to see her with Him??...then he realized. It was that smile on her face and that frown on her tear stained face. Suddenly, he remembered his other dream…To let go.. He understood now, He would rather let her be happy , even if she's with somebody else, rather than be with him but not be happy. A smile of peace curved on his lips. He realized it now.

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             RRRRIIINNNGGG RIIINGGGG The phone rang in Sakura's house. Sakura was in the shower. She didn't hear it, and nobody else was home.

             Syaoran waited until the message came on.

            "you have reached the Kinomoto's residence, but we are currently busy, plz leave a msg after the beep, and we will call you back as soon as possible" Syaoran took a deep breath.

           "Sakura….I'm Syaoran, I want to apologize for my behavior today, but…I'm still waiting for my answer, Sakura-chan, if your answer is NO,but it's what's true and it's what you feel, if you really are happy with Tasaoran, and he is what gives you that smile that will keep you going no matter how hard times are, then I want to be happy for you. I don't want to be selfish and keep you by my side if that's not what your heart desires. I hope you find your answer, and I hope it will be something you will not live to regret, and what is true and what will bring you a real smile. I'd rather see your smile, than you by my side unwillingly, call me back if you can………….ja," Syaoran said, and put the phone down.

          Sakura came out of the washroom, and she saw that there was a message on her answering machine, she pressed the button, and she heard Syaoran's Message. She replayed it again and again. She was surprised..and she wasn't sure what to do.

           Syaoran knows deep inside, no matter what her answer is, he'll still love her for the rest of his life without a doubt, but because he loves her, he wants to see her smile. He stared at the small piece of paper underneath his homework on his desk, he closed his eyes hoping this is the right thing to do…..he hopes.

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    Author's notes: heya!!...anybody wana guess what is dat 'small piece of hard paper" hmm? Heh….i hope this chapter was ok, if anything confusing or whatever, or if you have comments, criticisms, or simply wanna talk to me, send me an email to tenshi_itsumademo22@hotmail.com thank you! N PLZ REMEMBER TO REVIEW~!!!!!!! N leave ur email if u want me to email u wen I update. ^-^  JA NE!!!