Chapter 10                   Everything For The One Thing I Can't Have

Author's notes: HALO EVERYONE!! *Smiles* me smiling cuz of da best show in dis whole world. METEOR GARDEN…mwahaha…nebody kno it? If u don, *only if u kno Chinese(mandarin)* u shuld see it…so good. ^^ ok, newayz, im done babbling n bein stupid, as u can see. *clears throat* ok….heh…^^' ok…ppl really fink im weird now…yieks…btw…nebody wanna chat wit me, can always send me an email or talk wit me on aol, yahoo, icq, or msn.!

….n…btw…..VIC IS KUTE!!!!!!! Alrite….ppl don wanna hear me talk bou vic, hmph, jus like TomoyoTeng, hmph. Ok…..im done…..here's chappie.

Legend:

Italics- The thoughts of a character

*author's notes*- My notes, sumfin I hafta say

((….)) – extra info

"….."- Dialogue between characters

~~~~- Scene change/ Divider.

Thank you's:

Lilyflower- fnx a lot! I hope u'll like tis chappie too. ^^

Evil Emzo- -_-" don be too sure it's a luv letter…cuz u mite get disappointed. O.O *finks to self: Uh oH….did I jus gav evil emzo a hint?* ….o welz….fnx velly much. Ur gonna get ur 100th review soon ^^ btw…dicha update ne of ur fics lately? *narrows eyes* ok….fink I said enuf. -_-" *im getting more weird everyday, sighs*

BoUnCy Bunny- ^^ fnx…I hope ya like tis chappie too bouncy bunny ^^

Miss Forgotten- sorry..i didn email u, I didn email nebody den , cuz I fot ff.net wasn't working, so even if I emailed it wuld b pointless. Newayz..fnx, n I hope fings go better wit u…

Delita Mukara Renorfetear- hehe…syaoran's my fav character, n its cuz I luv his character n how he's silent, cold n honorable. But….fnx n I hope u like dis chappie too! ^^

Pink Cherry Blossom- AIYA!!! Syaoran better go save Sakura from Pink Cherry Blossom or else..O.O *looks at pink cherry blossom's butcher knife* aiyo!! Ok..hehe…fnx for ur review!

Diana@lineelu2001- HEYZ!! Fnx for ur review, hope ya like tis one too ! ^^

Crystal Tears- fnx! Hope ya like tis ^^

Whisper- no prob…I'll let cha kno when I update..n im glad u liked my story, fnx, hope u like tis too ^^

Di5tortion- im glad my story has captured ur attention, fnx a lot, I hope tis chapter won't disappoint u. ^^

Glarie- lol….wel..if sakura didn't have a boyfriend, and She luvs Syaoran, Syaoran luvs her, der'd be no prob, n therefore, wuld not b a story. ^^ fnx a lot for ur review. *me jus babbling again, don mind me*

Sugar Plum- fnx a lot for ur review, I hope u like tis one too ^^

Geneveive- YUP here's da continuation…I wuldn jus leave it hanging….ppl might kill me! *looks around scared* hehe…nah, prob not,its not even good, why wuld ppl care if I don't continue. ^^;; kk…fnx for ur review…hope ya like tis!

 Author's notes: *looks around* *stretches* … get on wit da story. And I'm really sorry, it's not that good, cause I haven't been in the great mood, and I'm really tired, so bear wit me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               Sakura looked out the classroom window, her head filled of memories…full of Syaoran. Suddenly the teacher interrupted her thoughts.

               "Sakura kinomoto, are you planning on listening or working today??" The Teacher asked sternly.

               "H-hai, gomen nasai" Sakura said quietly, as the teacher returned to the lesson. Her eyes wandered around the room and landed on Syaoran, who seemed to be lost in thought just as much as she was.

               I think I'm doing the right thing….but I'm not sure….ARGH…Syaoran, since when did you become so indecisive?? Syaoran fought with himself. He stole a glance at Sakura, took a big breath.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

              After class was over, Syaoran got up from his seat, and slowly walked up to Sakura. He wanted to give it one last shot.

              "Sakura, do you have an answer for me today?" he asked calmly. Sakura looked down.

              "Syaoran, I'm not sure-.." She couldn't continue, because she met Syaoran's glaring amber eyes. She opened her mouth to continue, but-

              "Ok then, kinomoto-san, I don't think there is anything left for me to speak to you, I wish you good luck in everything you do, wherever you are. I wish you a happy life." He said without emotion, and walked away. Away from his pain. Sakura looked confused. What was that supposed to mean?? A happy life? Good luck in everything I do?? She thought. She packed her bag and walked home with a head full of thoughts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               RRRRRIIINNNNGGGG

               "Coming!!!" Meiling called, and grabbed the phone.

               "moshi moshi" she said, panting from running to the phone.

               "….meiling…we're leaving."a Cold voice said without emotion.

               "huh??Sy- "

               CLICK. It was over. Meiling stared at the receiver in her hand, and wondered what was up with her cousin. *Author's notes: I fink u kno who dat cousin is…rite?? If u don't, den I'm sorry, can't help.* 

                Syaoran sat down at his desk when he got home, and he took out a piece of paper, he ignored Meiling's questions, and went to scribble something on paper, and sealed it in an envelope. He stared at it…he longed to hold it against his heart…don't want to let go, but he knew he had to. He took a deep breath, and the last tear of his life…..fell onto the envelope.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                 "….Syaoran…you really don't want to tell her?" Meiling asked quietly.

                 "I will tell her…just not right now, I don't need her to beg me, I'm just through," Syaoran said coldly, and went back into his room. Meiling sighed.

                 Syaoran went to Tomoyo's house, and dropped off the letter, and left. Tomoyo came out to find a letter in her mailbox. On top of the letter was a note on a piece of paper.

                    Daidouji-san,

                                      Can you do me a favour, and give this letter to Sakura

                            Tomorrow. I won't be at school tomorrow.

                                                                     -Syaoran Li

Tomoyo finished reading it, and she stared at the envelope. She looked confused, and put the letter into her bag to give to Sakura the next day. Why didn't Li-Kun, just give it to Sakura himself? She thought.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                 "Ohayo Sakura-chan," Tomoyo greeted with a smile the next day when she got to school.

                 "Ohayo," Sakura said, lost in thought. Tomoyo took out the envelope and gave it to Sakura. Sakura looked confused.

                 "What is that, Tomoyo-chan?" She asked.

                 "It's a letter Syaoran left at my mailbox yesterday, and he told me to give this to you," Tomoyo said. Sakura slowly took the envelope, and opened it.

                     Dear Sakura Kinomoto

                                     I've stayed for a year now, and I have realized how foolish I've been.

                               I came for an answer, I came with a hope, a dream and a wish yet to be fulfilled.

                                   It has greatly disappointed me. This will be the last time you'll hear from me.

                             I believed I could wait for you, and you'd love me someday. Or even if you won't love me

                                   I'd still wait, and simply hope..but that's pathetic of me. I believed Love could do all things.

                           But I can't stay anymore. I've had enough. I let my heart wander and

                                  get stabbed. The closer I get to someone..the more they hurt me. From now on

                         I am never to be close to someone again, or love anyone again. I hope you and Tasaoran

                               Live a happy life,                                                          

                                                                Sayonara.

                                                                                           -Syaoran Li

    a tear fell onto the letter, the ink smudged. Sakura's hand shook, and she couldn't read on. She sat through the whole day with her head in her hands, she didn't know what she'd done. But up till now, she still couldn't admit she loved Syaoran. She was angry at herself. She was angry at Syaoran.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               "Daidouji-san!!" Meiling panted, as she ran to Tomoyo's house.

              "Meiling-chan! What did Syaoran say in that letter? Sakura was so shocked and depressed today after she read it." Tomoyo asked. Meiling shook her head.

             "….Sy-syaoran is LEAVING," Meiling cried. Tomoyo's eyes widened.

             "Sakura-chan!" Tomoyo called Sakura.

             "Li-Kun is leaving today, he's going back to Hong Kong!" Tomoyo cried.

             "NANI??" Sakura said, eyes widened, and she dropped the phone. Memories of that day when he left her, so many years ago flooded her mind again. She shook her head.

            "SAKURA!! Can you hear me? Li-Kun is leaving tomorrow!" Tomoyo said. Sakura fell to the ground, as she closed her eyes and tried to calm herself down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

             Syaoran laid in his bed that night. He looked at the clock. It was 12:00, he was leaving at 5:00 a.m back to Hong Kong, he was tired, but he couldn't sleep. Whenever he closed his eyes, Sakura is there. As if she's haunting him. He sat up and opened the blinds. He stares out the window, and see the moon, it was a clear night, and the sky was dark blue. He breaths in the cool, crisp night air. It feels good, and peaceful.

             There wasn't a single star in the sky that night. He closed his eyes to sense the surroundings. If there was a meteor right now, and I could make one wish, what would I wish for? He thought strangely. He couldn't find an answer. Before he came back to Tomoeda, he would wish to see Sakura again. When he came back, he would wish that Sakura would love him the way he loves her. A few days ago, he would wish for Sakura to have a happy life, and for her to be happy with Tasaoran. But now he had no idea what he would wish for.

            For her to love him? For her to stop him from leaving? For Sakura to live on and forget him, or never forget him and keep him in her heart? He didn't know. Maybe he wouldn't wish for anything. People might say he's crazy, there has to be something you wish for, but he really didn't know. He closed his eyes to relax himself, and went back to bed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            "Meiling, can you hurry up? I don't want to miss our flight." Syaoran said tiredly. Meiling sighed.

            "You really want to leave Kinomoto-san? But you love her, don't you?" Meiling asked, frustrated.

            "Don't mind so much, this is something I have to deal with, I know what I'm doing," he said, and went into the car.

 Meiling went in as well.

            "But won't you regret it?" She asked.

            "…..regret is the worst feeling, I hate regret, I don't want to see my dear cousin have any regrets," meiling added. Syaoran looked out the window, a small tear welled up in his eyes, but he closed his eyes.  No more crying, I cried my last tear on her. I gave all my love to her, my heart is empty.

             "I don't know If I'll regret this, but all I know is, if I don't leave, and have to be unselfish to watch her with someone else, I used to believe true love is to see the one you love, happy. But that can't happen, I can't be happy for them, I can't stand it, I can smile a fake one for her and give her a fake encouragement, but I do not wish to put myself in this situation, I want to surrender now, and leave this tangled love. If I don't leave now, I know I'll regret it." Syaoran said quietly.

             "But the Syaoran I know never gives up, he fights until the end, and always win the battle," Meiling said strongly.

             "Meiling….this isn't a fight, its not a battle….it's love, its feelings." He said in a monotone. Meiling sighed, and rolled her eyes. This stubborn cousin can never be cured. She thought, and didn't say anything.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

              Sakura looked at her watch nervously. It was 4:00 a.m already. She couldn't fall asleep the whole night. She didn't know what to do. She put her head in her hands in frustration. She took a deep breath and looked up, to see a picture of her and Syaoran smiling, so many years ago…it seemed too long to remember. She shook her head, and quickly got out of bed, and snuck out of the house, she ran to get a cab. She had to catch him before he left. She can't stand seeing him leave once again, going away, exiting her life, she can't let it happen again.

               Suddenly the cab stopped.

              "Excuse me, why did you stop? I'm in a hurry," Sakura said nervously.

              "Gomen nasai miss, but there's a car accident ahead of us, the whole road is blocked, it'll take a while," the cab driver said. Sakura sat back uneasily. She looked at her watch again. It was 4:30. She wasn't going to make it, if she didn't hurry. She couldn't stand it, she paid the driver, and got out. She ran to the subway, then changed buses.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               Syaoran looked at his watch slowly. He didn't want Sakura to come, and it seems as though she wouldn't. But still, he wanted to see her one more time. Ten minutes later, she still didn't appear. His heart hardened more. She's not coming, and it that's good! You don't want her to come anyways, so stop thinking about it. Syaoran thought to himself. He stood up, and motioned Meiling to board the plane.

               Suddenly, a voice called out from behind. Syaoran closed his eyes. His back was to her.

              "Shaoran-kun…onegai..don't leave me again, I don't want to see you exit my life once more, just like how you did 10 years ago." She said, trying to catch her breath. Syaoran didn't turn around.

              "I leave, because I'm going to forget my feelings, I'm not going to cry another tear, and I'm never to be so weak again. I do not wish to stay here and pretend to congratulate you, because I cannot." He said coldly.

              "But…i..i think I love you," Sakura stammered. Syaoran's eyes blazed.

              "you think?? Well, that's good for you. But I'm sorry, I don't love you," Syaoran said just loud enough for her to hear, and he took his last step in Tomoeda, and Sakura watched his back disappear from her sight. Tears streamed down her face.

    Sayonara………

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

       Author's notes: *sighs* ok…IM REALLY REALLY SORRY IF THIS WAS TOO SHORT!!! And…please don't kill me? *gulps* ok….it's not the end yet, don't worry. And like I always say, if you want me to email u wen I update, leave ur email in ur review.after this chapter, Ima start working on my other stories, like 'A Dreamer Never Wakes up', and "Life In The End" if ya like, plz go check out  my other stories too! Kk…PLZ REVIEW!! ^^cyaz pplz.!