Chapter 11               Everything for The One Thing I Can't have


Author's Notes: HIHI!! Well I'm back with chapter 11, this is possibly the Second Last Chapter of this story, but I'm not sure yet, I'll see…well here it is.

Legend

Italics-  Thoughts of a Character

*author's notes:blhablha*- author's notes, my notes

((…..)) – Extra Info

"….." – Dialogue between characters

~~~~~~~~~~~ - Scene Change, divider.

Thank Yous:

Joey- Before, I thought of leaving it like that, actually that WAS the ending I had in mind from the beginning, but then things change here and there and stuff, so it goes on a bit longer, cuz now I haf another idea for an ending..this should be the second last chapter..but yah..wel, Thnx for reviewing anywayz!!

Odessa-…eva heard of…u hurt the one u love? ^^…newayz, hope u enjoy this chappie n thnx for ur review!

Glarie- WELL here it is! Lol…hope ya like it!

~*~heaven sent~*~ - I'm glad you like my story! Arigato! ^^

Trigger*happy*Sakura- well no more wondering here it is! ^^ Thnx a lot for ur review! *hugs*

Huh?-  HEY MEGGI SENSAI!! YUP miss forgotten was u…-_-" and I bet u dun remember *huh?* was u now…o wel…HEHE OUR SCHOOL…FUNNIE….HEHE *waves* BIBI MY HYPER EVIL TWIN!!

Midnightoasis- Thank you for your review so much!! I'm glad my story could have that effect on you, *sniffles* *hugs u*

Geneveive- Well….Syaoran did leave Sakura, but…there's always hope that things will go better! ^^

Jenny- Heya! I'm really happy u liked my story, and if you're new, and if you're interested in learning about fanfics and writing your own fanfics, read the part on the bottom of this chapter..ok? ^^

deVilblOssom- hehe here's more! Fnx for ur review, hope ya like tis too

Evil Emzo and Kero-  Lol….ur a really good author yah kno! MUCh better than me!! *bows to evil emzo* hehe…and here's a pudding for Kero *hands pudding to hyper kero* and here's *hands a pack of sugar to Evil Emzo* ^^ this is my little gift for you for reviewing my story and reading every chapter of this story so far. *hugs*

Pink Cherry Blossom- *gulps at pink cherry Blossom's butcher knife* AHHH!! *runs for covera* okie…here's da chappie..don't hurt me or Sakura!! Cuz if u hurt Sakura than I lose one of my main characters of story and Syaoran will be more miserable!! Lol..newayz FNx a lot!

Blue toast- here's da next chappie for u! fnx for reviewing my story! ^^

*teresa*- lol….i can be REALLI weird u jus haven't seen how weird, if you were one of my other friends that talk to me/ see me everyday…they think im MENTAL..haha…newayz, I'm glad my story touched u I hope ya like tis too! ^^ BTW I haf a good friend named Teresa too ^^

Aerisakura and Smashfriends-  it's ok if you couldn't review last chappie, sometimes I'm so lazy I read the story and I don't review..not to be rude or anything, but I'm a big lazy bum…so when I DO review that means I more than like the story..^^ and ur still a loyal reader..lol, thnx a lot for ur review anywayz! *hugs*

Starlight Princess- EEKS I just remember I need to email a lot of ppl for this update *quickly runs to type email* hehe…anywayz thnx for ur review a lot!!

Sammie- here u go! ^^

aZnDrEaMeR1788- wel…hope ya like this too! ^^

Watashi- O.O *GASPS* WHERE DID U SAY U GOT UR SUGAR? I WANT SUGAR TOOOO hehe…ok…I'm sorry…..*smiles* thank u newayz!

Eugenia-  Thanks a lot for ur review! And I'll be sure not to forget to email u to let u kno..^^

To EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED DOMO ARIGATO GOZAIMASHITA! *BOWS* And I'm really sorry if this chappie is going to get a bit boring….*GULPS*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

          "Wait!" Sakura cried as Syaoran walked calmly away to board the plane.

          ":I know you do, why are you running away from this?" Sakura called.

          "ME? I'm not the one running away from my feelings, you were, and now it's too late," he said coldly as he entered the plane. Sakura stared out the window as she saw Syaoran's plane fly away. She swallowed and turned around.

          She wandered around the streets of Tomoeda. She hadn't realized it, but it was a whole day already and she looked up to see the beautiful sunset.

           Do I love him? She asked herself once more. She breathed in the cool crisp air and turned around to leave as she bumped into someone.

           "Gomen Nasai!" Sakura apologized quickly, she looked up and was surprised. *author's notes:…I bet u, more than half of you who are reading this is gonna think it's Syaoran….well…let's see…*

           "konnichiwa Sakura-chan," Tasaoran said. *author's notes:…^^ hehe*. Sakura smiled weakly.

           "What's wrong?" He asked. Sakura took a deep breath and sat down on a park bench. It was time he knew about the things that have been going on, it wasn't fair to him, and it had been really stressful to Sakura, part of her knew that Syaoran was right, and he had every right to leave, yet she still can't help but feel the rage inside and the pain that seemed to swallow up her heart when he said those words.

           "Tasaoran, I have something I need to let you know," she said as Tasaoran sat down beside her. Sakura told him of her and Syaoran in Elementary school and how they confessed their love but at the end he left and she had thought she could move on, but things are beginning to differ now.

            "I can understand if you're going to get mad, I should've told you earlier, but I just want you to know that I never intended to make you feel played. I really did got him away from my heart, but I didn't know this would happen when he came back into my life. I'm really really really sorry," Sakura said with her head hung low in shame. Tasoaran was shocked, but he was calm. Instead of the anger or aggression Sakura had expected of him, he was calm and quiet.
              "Who do you love right now? I don't care about your pass, everyone has a pass, but what really matters is what's in your heart right now." He said quietly.

               "I don't know, I've been struggling with myself for a long time now," she said.

               "Well, if you love him then go find him, but if you love him then go find him, but if you ever change your mind….I'll still be there….for you," he said and walked away leaving Sakura to bury her head in her hands. A hand laid on her shoulders. Sakura looked up and saw Shiko.

                "Konbanwa," she said with a smile and sat down. Sakura tried to smile back.

               "What's the matter? You don't look so good….is because of Syaoran? Shiko asked gently.

               "What do you know?! You always act like you know everything when it's not even your business!!" Sakura snapped, frustrated. Shiko didn't say anything. Sakura covered her mouth with her hand.

               "Oh, I'm so sorry, I'm just really frustrated, I shouldn't have said that, I don't mean it," Sakura apologized feeling even worst.

               "It's ok…but I know more about you than you think I do…Card mistress." She said calmly. Sakura's eyes widened in horror.

               "how did you know I was the card mistress?!" She asked.

               "It's time I told you. Before a long time ago, after Clow Reed created the cards he made the guardians to guard the cards, Ceroberus and Yue. But they don't have the power to capture the cards. I was from a magical family, and strangely, I was the only one that had special powers that my family didn't have. Clow Reed found me and gave me the power to capture cards in case someday they were released. I used to have the wand you have right now.

                  I also, like you, fell in love with somebody. Something came up and we were separated. When I got to see him again, I already had my own life and he seemed to ruin it. I threw him aside because I didn't know how to live to accept him again. So he left. I never saw him again. When I started to regret what I did it was too late. In the end I gave up my powers and my life because it carried no more meaning anymore. However, clow Reed assigned me a job. To watch over the future Card Mistress, because I still had the power to live forever from my family. I spent a life living in regret. I saw you, the current Card Mistress and syaoran…I din't want you to end up like me so I came, to do my job…and to help myself not to dwell in memories, and help you." Shiko ended. Sakura sat there listening, stunned.

                  "If you love someone, whoever it is, Tasaoran , Syaoran, I just hope you go for it because Regret is a very horrible thing, a life of regret, is a life without life." She said and walked away.

                   Memories of every moment she had spent with Syaoran, with Tasaoran came across her mind. A life of regret….is a life without life. Shiko's words remained in the depths of Sakura's mind and her heart. When she saw the heart that turned to ice in Syaoran she felt herself burn in shame, in pain, and a sense of loss.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                   Sakura walked into her house with a million thoughts invading her mind. She wasn't paying attention to where she was going and crashed into Touya.

                  "…Watch where you're going, kaijuu!" Touya said. Sakura shook her head slowly.

                  "Iie…I'm not a kaijuu…not anymore…I'm…grown up," Sakura said, lost in her own voice. Touya stared at his sister awkwardly. She'd never said something like that before…not in that tone. He put his hand on her forehead.

                  "What are you doing, onichan?" She asked tiredly.

                  "…Are you feeling ok? Something wrong with you?" He asked, an eyebrow raised.

                 "…I'm feeling just fine," Sakura said in a monotone, and climbed up the stairs to her room. Kero was busy playing his games and didn't notice his weary Mistress. She felt so tired, it felt as though she couldn't even stand still anymore. Her surroundings seemed to swirl as she held her head. She felt heavy and she closed her eyes, and slumped to the floor. Kero quickly stopped his games and flew over to Sakura.

                   "SAKURA! Daijoubo Desu ka?!" He asked, and shook her, but she didn't wake up. She was still breathing. Kero quickly flew downstairs to find Touya. *author's notes: in case some people didn't know, or forgot, Touya knew about Kero and Yue and the Magic, so he knows Kero isn't a stuffed animal!..or er…I fink? I get confused sometimes, if not, then lets just say he does now -_-" *

                   "Sakura needs help!" Kero Called. Fujitaka wasn't home, so Touya followed kero upstairs. He quickly Swooped her up and carried her into the car and drove her to the Hospital. Kero was stuffed in a bag so people wouldn't see him. He took out Sakura's cell phone and called Tomoyo to tell her what had happened. Tomoyo immediately got to the hospital.

                   Touya and Tomoyo waited outside impatiently as the doctor examined her. He, then came out.

                  "How's my sister doing?" Touya asked concernedly. The doctor smiled lightly.

                  "No need to worry, she's just overly tired, causing her to faint, she just needs to rest and she'll be fine," He said.

                  "Domo Arigato Gozaimashita," Touya bowed. The doctor left. Tomoyo and Touya went up to her room. Sakura hadn't woken up yet. She was ok outside, but her lips were almost purple, and she was pale.

                  "….He sure she's ok? She doesn't look like she's ok…" Tomoyo commented, as she sat down beside Sakura and held her hand. Touya went out to the hallway to call Fujitaka. He came back in, and stood behind Tomoyo, Tomoyo got up for Touya to sit down and she went to the telephone booth and called Eriol and Meiling.

                   BBBRRRRRRRRRRRRINNNNNNNG Meiling ran to pick up the phone in Hong kong.

                  "wai?" She said.

                 "Meiling-Chan, this is tomoyo," Tomoyo said.

                 "Daidouji-san! What's the matter, you sound not so good," Meiling asked worriedly.

                 "It's Sakura-chan, She fainted today after the airport." She said.

                 "Oh my goodness! Is she ok?" Meiling asked.

                 "The doctor says she's just too tired and needs some rest," Tomoyo said.

                 "Oh…well I hope she gets better," Meiling replied, biting her lower lip.

                 "yah….even though she's physically ok, she really doesn't look ok…I think something's wrong," Tomoyo said.

                 "….Syaoran stopped talking or eating lately, all he's been doing is training," Meiling added. Tomoyo sighed on the other end of the line.

                 "…I'm not sure I should tell Syaoran this, he's been more than stressed lately, this will add to all his other problems," Meiling said.

                 "….but I think Syaoran should know how much this has affected Sakura and that maybe he'll realize how much this relationship, this love, actually meant to both of them." Tomoyo said.

                 "….yah, I guess you're right, I should, but I just don't want my dear cousin to be so stressed, but I'll let him know," Meiling said. Tomoyo nodded.

                 "…ok, I should go now, ja ne" Tomoyo said.

                 "Ja," They hung up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

                 "…Syaoran…" Meiling said softly. Syaoran's back to her in the training room. He sat on the mat concentrating his thoughts while trying to listen to Meiling.

                 "…Sakura…she..um," Meiling began. Syaoran's eyes snapped open as he side glances her.

                 "..She fainted today," Meiling said. Syaoran closed his eyes back. He turned around and leaned against the wall. One leg laid straight the other with his knee up *author's notes…Um. Is this confusing? Sorry!* His hand slung over his knee, and his head leaned on the wall. He took a sip of water and looked at Meiling. She felt uncomfortable. Syaoran showed no emotion, and after a while, which seemed like a decade to Meiling, he spoke.

                 "……so?" He asked tiredly, carelessly. Meiling couldn't believe what she was hearing. She shook her head in disappointment.

                "….what have you become? You weren't like this before, the Syaoran I knew 2 months ago, would've risked his life for her, and now…..you ask SO? YOU LOVE HER, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!" Meiling almost shouted at him.

                "I don't know you anymore, you're not the cousin that I thought was worthy of every minute of my time, and now!...LOOK AT YOURSELF…What…ARE …you?!" She said angrily and flung her self around and walked out of the room. Syaoran closed his eyes and leaned his head on the wall. He swallowed. ……I know what I've become….i've become the syaoran that I know won't let me down with tears again, and won't go so low and so cheap to beg in front of someone that's supposed to love me.

                He drew in a big breath and got up to train more. His moves were vicious and strong, every movement he made came out with anger and rage inside, as his mind tries to stop thinking of the pain that is so overwhelming. He tried to practice one of his hard moves, he jumped up high and tried to do a side kick, as a mouse suddenly squeaked by. Syaoran's eyes shot open wide and he felt himself fall and crash onto the hard mat on the floor.

                He bit his lower lip as he got up. He drew in a big breath. I failed again. I failed myself again. I can't even be good at the one thing I can only be successful in the only thing I have hope of winning in. he felt like punching himself. Everything inside of him came out, anger, rage, confusion, frustration, pain, everything. He just felt himself burst with emotions. He slammed into the wall again and again feeling the physical pain run through his veins, trying to forget the pain inside.

                He threw himself down at the floor and he couldn't control himself, he held his knees close to his chest and felt tears pour out of his eyes from his heart. He felt so confused, so frustrated he didn't know what he was feeling and all he could do was break down he felt like screaming, but he didn't. He heard footsteps in the hallway, he shot up and wiped away his tears and got back to training. This fear seemed to take over him it felt as though he was going to let his weakness show…again…to someone he knew. I am strong. He told himself over and over again, suppressing the feelings deep inside.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               Meiling felt herself shook as she saw what had happened to Syaoran. She had returned to tell him she was going back to Japan to visit Sakura as she was going to open the door she heard the wall shake and she peeked inside. Syaoran didn't know, but she watched him the whole time. Meiling left quickly and put her head in her hands.

             "What have I done…" She whispered softly feeling ashamed and guilty and pained.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile Japan:

             Sakura's eyes fluttered open slowly….

             "….Syaoran?" She whispered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 To BE Continued!

Author's notes: At the beginning, I had planned for this to be the last chapter, but then as I got typing I kinda got a bit more ideas and it got longer, so I decided to make the last chapter for next time. AND I MITE PUT AN EPILOGUE OR POSSIBLY SEQUEL…ONLY A POSSIBLITY…AFTER THE LAST CHAPTER….IT DEPENDS ON WHAT PPL WANT OR HOW MANY REVIEWS I GET Cuz writing a story is tiring and I lose a lot of inspiration sometimes, so if it isn't wanted I definitely won't make it, cuz I'll practically wear myself down, but if it has a good result than maybe I'll think it over.

LATELY ME AND MY FRIEND SAKURABUNNIE HAS BEEN HAVING THIS IDEA OF MAKING A FANFICTION SCHOOL…LOL WE WERE KIND OF HYPER WHEN WE THOUGHT OF IT, BUT IT SEEMED FUN SO WE'LL GET A WEBSITE UP FOR IT LATERZ, AND BASICALLY IT'S A SCHOOL TO TEACH PEOPLE ABOUT FANFICTION HOW TO WRITE BETTER FANFICTIONS FOR NEW AND OLD AUTHORS OR IF U SIMPLY JUST WANT TO MEET SOME FRIENDS…WELL HYPER FRIENDS..HEHE LIKE US…DEN UR WELCOMED TO JOIN…SEND US AN EMAIL AT  evil_hyperness@hotmail.com ok? Ok.. AND WE HAVE A JOINT ACCOUNT NOW : Hypertwins SO IF YA LIKE CHECK THAT OUT.

And thank you for taking up your time to read this. I'll work on the next chapter soon! Any Comments for this chapter/story just email me or talk to me on AIM, MSN, YAHOO, ICQ ok? KZ CYA MY FELLOW AUTHORS! LOL