A/N: And now, for the moment you've all been waiting for, for the moment
that has been prolonged through all of the Mediator books and not just this
fanfic.
Chapter 7
I spent the day-when I wasn't in school-with Jesse. He was still a bit peeved that I hadn't told him the truth, but other than that he had forgiven me. At least, that's the impression I got. But you know, those kisses he kept giving me were kind of hard to figure out.
Yeah. Right.
I'm serious, when I got up to my room that day after school, Jesse was there, and he just came over and gave me this really sweet kiss. I had no problem whatsoever with the fact that he just wanted cuddle with me-I'm not kidding-before I had to go out to see Paul. We both knew that it could very well be the last time we saw each other. Seriously, that's how dangerous this plan of mine was going to be. But we really didn't have much of a choice at the moment.
I thought about telling Jesse about what I'd talked about with Father Dominic. I really did. The only thing was, I wasn't really sure where I would go with that topic. I couldn't exactly go to Jesse and ask "Hey, Jesse, wanna get married?"
Not that he'd say yes. I wasn't even sure that I'd want him to say yes.
So that night, as I stood in front of my bathroom mirror, I made a decision. When this whole thing was over, I'd talk to Jesse. And then I'd deal with whatever came next.
I went back into my bedroom where Jesse was standing by my bed, looking solemn.
I stopped in the doorway. "Hey," I said softly.
Jesse looked up at me and smiled warily. "Susannah." His voice trailed off. It was one of the few times I'd ever seen Jesse at a loss for words. Finally he came forward and took me in his arms for what had to be the hundredth time that day. He kissed me gently then pulled his head back. He cupped my cheek in one hand, still holding me with the other.
I swallowed. "Jesse, maybe I should-"
I was about to say that I should go, but Jesse interrupted me. "Susannah, I love you."
That got my attention. I stared at Jesse. "You-you what?"
Jesse smiled shakily. "I love you. And you must promise me that you'll be careful." He stepped back from me, letting his arms dropped to his sides. It took me a moment to realize that Jesse thought that I didn't love him back. Not in that way, at least. Oh, sure, he knew I liked him. But he didn't understand just how much I liked him.
I felt my eyes fill with uninvited tears, but I fought them back. "I promise I'll be careful," I said to Jesse. Then I went to the window and started to climb through it. I know, I was a coward. But for some reason I couldn't tell him the whole truth yet.
I was at the end of the porch roof before I finally turned back and whispered, "I love you, too, Jesse." But by then he was already gone.
*** I stepped into the ranger station, closing the door behind me. Paul was waiting for me, sitting in the desk chair. I noted that his nose looked exceptionally black-and-blue that night, but I didn't say anything.
"You're back," Paul said, looking slightly amused.
I swallowed and nodded.
Paul stood up and walked toward me. He stopped just in front of me. "Did you tell anyone about me?" he asked.
"No," I lied, bracing myself for the next question I knew was coming.
Paul shook his head and smiled. "Suze, I don't know why you always play these games." I had no idea what he was talking about, so I remained silent. "You leave me no choice, I guess." Then, in his mind control voice he said, "Tell me the truth."
I fought him, I really did. But in the end I opened my mouth and said, "I told Jesse."
Instead of pouncing on me like I half-expected him to, Paul sighed. "That's too bad then." Without warning he spun me around, holding my hands behind me. He brought out the cord-I couldn't believe that I hadn't noticed it before-and bound my hands before I had a chance to react.
I tried to kick at him, but he overpowered me and shoved me to the floor. My head hit the wooden floor boards hard, disorienting me for just a second. I tried to sit up, but Paul sat down on my chest, knocking the air out of me. I gasped.
"Really, Suze," Paul taunted, "I didn't think you'd be nearly this weak."
That did it. I hate being called weak. I bucked and twisted, but Paul just laughed at me. Finally, he reached down wrapped his large hands around my throat. He dug his knees into my ribs at the same time he was trying to crush my trachea.
I couldn't breathe. I tried to scream, but all that came out were gasps. I realized with a start that Jesse wasn't going to get there in time. Father Dominic wouldn't call the cops in time. I was going to die right there, in an abandoned ranger station.
And I'd been too much of a chicken to tell Jesse that I loved him.
For his part, Paul seemed to be enjoying my pain. At least, I thought he was. Things were sort of getting dark at that point. I couldn't see, I couldn't breath, and I was pretty sure Paul was breaking my ribs.
The last thing I remember before passing out was someone calling out, "Susannah!" over and over. But before I could register who it was, everything was black.
Chapter 7
I spent the day-when I wasn't in school-with Jesse. He was still a bit peeved that I hadn't told him the truth, but other than that he had forgiven me. At least, that's the impression I got. But you know, those kisses he kept giving me were kind of hard to figure out.
Yeah. Right.
I'm serious, when I got up to my room that day after school, Jesse was there, and he just came over and gave me this really sweet kiss. I had no problem whatsoever with the fact that he just wanted cuddle with me-I'm not kidding-before I had to go out to see Paul. We both knew that it could very well be the last time we saw each other. Seriously, that's how dangerous this plan of mine was going to be. But we really didn't have much of a choice at the moment.
I thought about telling Jesse about what I'd talked about with Father Dominic. I really did. The only thing was, I wasn't really sure where I would go with that topic. I couldn't exactly go to Jesse and ask "Hey, Jesse, wanna get married?"
Not that he'd say yes. I wasn't even sure that I'd want him to say yes.
So that night, as I stood in front of my bathroom mirror, I made a decision. When this whole thing was over, I'd talk to Jesse. And then I'd deal with whatever came next.
I went back into my bedroom where Jesse was standing by my bed, looking solemn.
I stopped in the doorway. "Hey," I said softly.
Jesse looked up at me and smiled warily. "Susannah." His voice trailed off. It was one of the few times I'd ever seen Jesse at a loss for words. Finally he came forward and took me in his arms for what had to be the hundredth time that day. He kissed me gently then pulled his head back. He cupped my cheek in one hand, still holding me with the other.
I swallowed. "Jesse, maybe I should-"
I was about to say that I should go, but Jesse interrupted me. "Susannah, I love you."
That got my attention. I stared at Jesse. "You-you what?"
Jesse smiled shakily. "I love you. And you must promise me that you'll be careful." He stepped back from me, letting his arms dropped to his sides. It took me a moment to realize that Jesse thought that I didn't love him back. Not in that way, at least. Oh, sure, he knew I liked him. But he didn't understand just how much I liked him.
I felt my eyes fill with uninvited tears, but I fought them back. "I promise I'll be careful," I said to Jesse. Then I went to the window and started to climb through it. I know, I was a coward. But for some reason I couldn't tell him the whole truth yet.
I was at the end of the porch roof before I finally turned back and whispered, "I love you, too, Jesse." But by then he was already gone.
*** I stepped into the ranger station, closing the door behind me. Paul was waiting for me, sitting in the desk chair. I noted that his nose looked exceptionally black-and-blue that night, but I didn't say anything.
"You're back," Paul said, looking slightly amused.
I swallowed and nodded.
Paul stood up and walked toward me. He stopped just in front of me. "Did you tell anyone about me?" he asked.
"No," I lied, bracing myself for the next question I knew was coming.
Paul shook his head and smiled. "Suze, I don't know why you always play these games." I had no idea what he was talking about, so I remained silent. "You leave me no choice, I guess." Then, in his mind control voice he said, "Tell me the truth."
I fought him, I really did. But in the end I opened my mouth and said, "I told Jesse."
Instead of pouncing on me like I half-expected him to, Paul sighed. "That's too bad then." Without warning he spun me around, holding my hands behind me. He brought out the cord-I couldn't believe that I hadn't noticed it before-and bound my hands before I had a chance to react.
I tried to kick at him, but he overpowered me and shoved me to the floor. My head hit the wooden floor boards hard, disorienting me for just a second. I tried to sit up, but Paul sat down on my chest, knocking the air out of me. I gasped.
"Really, Suze," Paul taunted, "I didn't think you'd be nearly this weak."
That did it. I hate being called weak. I bucked and twisted, but Paul just laughed at me. Finally, he reached down wrapped his large hands around my throat. He dug his knees into my ribs at the same time he was trying to crush my trachea.
I couldn't breathe. I tried to scream, but all that came out were gasps. I realized with a start that Jesse wasn't going to get there in time. Father Dominic wouldn't call the cops in time. I was going to die right there, in an abandoned ranger station.
And I'd been too much of a chicken to tell Jesse that I loved him.
For his part, Paul seemed to be enjoying my pain. At least, I thought he was. Things were sort of getting dark at that point. I couldn't see, I couldn't breath, and I was pretty sure Paul was breaking my ribs.
The last thing I remember before passing out was someone calling out, "Susannah!" over and over. But before I could register who it was, everything was black.