Kuchi ni dasanai nozomi [unsaid wish]

Disclaimer: Characters belong to the great Minekura-sama. I just borrowed them without permission. ^^|

Warning: Seinin-ai and OOC. Read at your own risk

Thank you for the reviews. For those who think it was 58, gomenasai. I didn't mention the pairing in the summary so I could lure you in. hehehehehe... gomenasai for such trick. ^_^

Dozo... Otanoshimi



Chapter 3 : Yume ni mo omou wa nai

Hakkai became aware of his surroundings first before he became fully awake. And from the carefully muted noise he knew Sanzo was up. He sat up and squinted his eyes. Sunbeams have spilled into the room and the brightness was hurting his eyes especially that his eyes were swollen because of trying too much last night.
"Good morning" he murmured groggily.
Sanzo just grunted in reply, then without looking at the demon he said "breakfast".
Is it just him or is Sanzo really avoiding his gaze? Hakkai sighed and then heavily trudged his way towards the bathroom.

Goku looked up from his plate as he felt Hakkai's presence. "Morning" he greeted cheerfully with his mouth almost full then he returned his gaze to his plate and then something hit him. He looked again at Hakkai. Between returning his attention back to the food and looking at Hakkai again, he noticed that Gojyo stole one of his shomai. Surprisingly he didn't mind it as he stared at Hakkai worriedly.
"Hakkai what happened to your beautiful eyes?"

Hakkai smiled. Goku had always like his eyes and the boy admitted it on their first meeting after the younger boy prevented him from giving his right eye to the relative of 100-eyed demon.

"I had a very bad nightmare" Hakkai lied neatly as he sat beside Goku on their round table. He then replaced the shomai stolen by Gojyo with his own share. Goku smiled gratefully at Hakkai before sticking his tongue out to the red-haired demon. In retaliation Gojyo's chopsticks reached for another shomai from Goku's plate but suddenly another set of chopsticks gripped Gojyo's preventing him from stealing the shomai. A frowning Gojyo looked up to find Hakkai smiling at him.

"Gojyo" he stated calmly and kindly but in a steel voice "it is too early to provoke Goku and start a fight".

It was only when Gojyo nodded in surrender and understanding did Hakkai let go of Gojyo's chopsticks.

"I gratefully partake!" Hakkai said cheerfully before he started eating.

Hakkai after eating his breakfast ordered another serving for Hakuryuu who was already in a jeep mode after that he left to feed his pet.

Gojyo watched Hakkai's back feeling a bit guilty after noticing that he and Sanzo were avoiding each other's gaze. He should have protested with their room arrangement the other night but he thought that if those two would share a room then perhaps they can settle whatever had caused such tense silence between them. Gojyo sighed inwardly before discreetly eating his remaining breakfast quickly.

He then went after Hakkai after stealing gyouza from Goku leaving the youngest shouting insults at him and when he ran out of insults he started shouting gory threats.

When Gojyo reached Hakkai, the brown-haired demon was sitting under the tree with Hakuryuu by his side. The little white dragon had just started chewing the last bite of his food.

"What happened last night?" Gojyo asked bluntly before lighting his cigarette. Hakkai smiled at him that made the other demon sighed.

"Y'know it really pains me to see you eagerly giving an empty smile."

Hakkai just kept on smiling "I had a bad dream Gojyo".

In reply the redhead just snorted "You can fool that stomach-brained monkey but not me".

Hakkai's smile faded as he sighed in surrender "Kana".

It was all he said yet Gojyo understand everything clearly and perfectly. He wondered what pains him more to see Hakkai being hurt by Sanzo or to see him hurting because he was left alone by the woman he once loved. Sanzo was alive yet he didn't love his friend back. Kana loved Hakkai but she left him in this world. Ah~ Life can be so damned cruel.

"Chi~ It seems you have shed too much tears for Kana"

Hakkai stood up while Hakuryuu perched on his right shoulder "It's not enough. Sometimes I wish I had some kind of amnesia"

"Hey that's not a good joke. You'll not only forget her but also us" then he went to Hakkai's side and draped his arm on Hakkai's shoulder with Hakuryuu whining as he lost his place. "I don't want you to forget me the great lover" he whispered flirtatiously on Hakkai's ear.

Hakkai wrapped his arm around his friend's waist "How could I forget Gojyo the gods' gift to women and me?" he asked dramatically.

Red eyes met green one and they both burst out laughing.

From inside Sanzo watched the scene feeling jealous…really jealous. He watched as the two let go of each other and sat side by side under a big tree. Looking at the two chatting happily Sanzo knew that Gojyo would really take care of Hakkai and make him happy but still…. Hakkai would be better off with Gojyo yet…. Sanzo sighed inwardly. He was fighting an emotional battle, which he knew sooner or later he'll lose but he didn't want to be defeated without fighting.

"Goku" Sanzo called out as he noticed that the boy was raising his hand with every intention of asking for another serving. "You have enough". Goku looked at his caretaker with huge puppy golden brown eyes "But Sanzo…" he trailed off the second he noticed the murderous look the older man was giving him.

"It takes 2 nights and 3 days for us to arrive the next town" Hakkai announced cheerfully as he started the engine "so let us all be patient".
Gojyo placed a hand on Hakkai's shoulder "When we arrive, let's take a stroll together you and me".
"What? Why can't I join you?" Goku whined pulling Gojyo's hair. The red-haired covered Goku's face with his hand "It's a date you stupid monkey" he yelled.
Sanzo watched discreetly as a bright smile appeared on Hakkai's face "I'll look forward to it Gojyo" Hakkai said before stepping on the accelerator. At that very moment Sanzo wanted to kill Gojyo in different ways and the only consolation he got is he was able to devise a lot of ways on how to kill Gojyo even if it was only in his mind.

On their second night they just slept on the jeep unlike their first night where they put up a tent. A cold finger of moonlight caressed Sanzo's face as he stirred in his sleep murmuring inaudibly the name of a particular demon. Involuntarily his eyes opened halfway falling on Hakkai's empty seat.

Empty!?

Sanzo's eyes were wide open as soon as his brain registered the empty seat. Where did he go? He thought as he sat erectly.

Hakkai was sitting on a grass-covered ground. He was leaning backward on his hands. His right leg stretched while the other was folded leisurely. His head slightly inclined as he looked at the stars that had grown so bright above the trees that Hakkai was so mesmerized that he didn't notice the man standing just few paces away from him.

~ FLASHBACK ~

"Koryu… the true meaning of living is loving and being loved. Protect your treasures. Be strong so you can be a shield for someone in every way. That's the one of the true meanings of strength." Komyo with his eternal smile told his favorite disciple who was listening disinterestedly. "Loving is not to succumb to a weakness. When you felt so weak, you'll always find strength from the person you love"
"Why are you telling me that? I don't need that" Koryu replied nonchalantly.
Komyo smiled in understanding "Maybe you don't" then a pause as a speculative look flashed on his face "Maybe you do. No one can tell"

~ END OF FLASHBACK ~

Sanzo was only going to look for Hakkai but when that long forgotten memory flashed into his mind, all that have change.

"What are you doing here?" Sanzo asked as he sat himself an arm's length away from Hakkai. If Hakkai was surprised of his presence, he didn't show it. In fact he didn't take his gaze away from the stars.

"Just dreaming and waiting for a shooting star to appear so I can make an impossible wish"

Sanzo inhaled deeply. "Hakkai" there was a slight purring in his voice. "About what I did to you the other night…"

Hakkai's head snapped to his side to look at Sanzo with slight frown on his face. "You don't have to tell me Sanzo. I know you did that out of pity and sympathy. I never misunderstood the reasons behind your actions" he said tersely then his gaze went back to the sky.

The monk looked at Hakkai dumbfounded with his mouth slightly opened. He tried to recall how did he act that night to make Hakkai believe that way. What he did the other night was not out of pity or sympathy. He was sure of that. Afraid that Hakkai walk out from him if ever he said another word. Sanzo did the first thing that came to his mind. He jerked Hakkai into his arms and kissed him passionately, making sure that Hakkai will know that what he did was caused not by pity but of some powerful emotion that Sanzo didn't want to feel but felt anyway.

Hakkai went rigid in his arms. His eyes wide with surprise. He didn't know what to do, not that he was naïve with regards to intimate acts but hell this was Sanzo kissing him, the same man who told him cruelly that he'll never love him not now not ever.

Sanzo broke the kiss and looked at Hakkai who was rendered speechless and motionless by his action. Sanzo hugged Hakkai tighter then he whispered fiercely to his ear "I lied to you. I actually love you. I love you always although most of the time it seems that I don't".

Such confession from Sanzo broke Hakkai's stupor. "San…zo" was all he said as his arms went around Sanzo returning the embrace. And for the second time that night Sanzo kissed Hakkai who returned the kiss with ardor that matched the monk's.

Minutes later they were sitting closely beside each other. Sanzo swear silently that he'll be strong for Hakkai so he can protect him… so he'll not lose him just as he lost his master. Hakkai's hand glided towards Sanzo's. Sanzo must have noticed it for he moved his hand to meet Hakkai's.

"Sanzo" Hakkai muttered as their fingers were entwined "will you dream with me?"
The monk looked at their entwined hands then at his face "Not only that. I'll build and live those dreams... together with you".

Green eyes met purple ones. The Eternal love brimming in those beautiful jade eyes was made known by the stars while steady violet eyes stared back with the raw blazing love revealed by the moonlight. And in the depths of each other's eyes they realized that they have found a home in each other and there was a sense of serenity and security engulfing them slowly.

"Welcome home" Sanzo muttered against Hakkai's soft petal lips before he kissed him again.

Both of them unaware of the bright shooting star streaking in high speed across the midnight blue sky. Offsetting the brilliance of the stars on and along its path. The only proof of its existence was the dust left in its trail. But the two need not make a wish. For they already had what they were supposed to wish and more.

~ OWARI ~

[January 15, 2003.]