"Reality Bites Back"
Invader Zim, GIR and all other IZ references are © Jhonen Vasquez. Invader Turk and PURR are © Jessi Pysz (aka Me). I make no money off of this.
An Irken invader stood before her main computer screen. Standing beside her was a most unusual looking SIR robot. Instead of a single antenna on its head, it had two small ones inside triangular ear pieces, screened in with metallic mesh. It also had a tail like an Earth cat and wire whiskers.
On the main screen was a familiar looking planet..
"Planet Irk. Home of the mighty Irken Invaders, the supreme rulers of this galaxy and all others yet to be discovered. Truly, we are an unstoppable race, all other weaker races shall bow before us and praise our glory. If it were not for the one boil on our mighty backside of rulership…"
The onscreen image changed to that of total and utter chaos. Irken invaders were running on the ground, screaming in terror as a giant robot mech threatened to crush them. Inside the mech, Zim was laughing maniacally and pressing every button in sight.
"Zim nearly destroyed our operation…If not for his incompetence, the Irken empire would be twice the size it is now. And I…. I would be one step closer to my goals…"
The Invader turned off her monitor and stepped into the light. She appeared to be a normal looking Irken, green skin, magenta eyes and short stature. The only main difference was that, instead of being slicked back behind her head, her antenna fell in two swoops in front of her face. She wore a black leather vest, fishnet shirt and torn skirt, plus massive strappy boots.
"If only rank were designated by how successful an Invader was, instead of by height. Then I would already be a Tallest… "
She sighed and threw herself into a chair. Her SIR curled up in her lap. The Invader stroked the cat-like robot.
"Oh, PURR… If I don't get a growth spurt soon, I'll never level up. I've already conquered my designated planet and assisted in the take over of twenty-five others. I've wanted to become a tallest since I was hatched and I've worked my beautiful shell off to get the recognition I so deserve…Maybe I should just give up…."
"INCOMING TRANSMISSION FROM COMMAND CENTRAL", the computer voice announced.
The faces of Tallest Purple and Red appeared on her screen. The Invader jumped up and saluted.
"Greetings, My Tallest."
"Greetings, Invader Turk," Red said. "How goes things on planet Squee?"
"Couldn't be better. The inhabitants are terrified of everything and insist their teddy bears are telling them to burn things, but take away the bears and they are mindless fools who listen to anything I tell them."
"Fburusf! Beforof hioms shmouf!" Purple spoke while eating a sandwich. Red narrowed his eyes and smacked Purple.
"What he means to say, Turk, is that we have a special job that requires someone of your experience, and also the fact that you have so much free time between missions."
Purple swallowed his mouthful and spoke clearly. "We need someone to keep an eye on Zim. He's been making a mockery of the Irken Empire on Earth. We need you to go and make sure he doesn't do anything….too stupid…"
Turk thought, That'd be like keeping Purple from stuffing his face…
She saluted. "You can count on me, My Tallest. It will be my pleasure to keep Zim in line."
"Oh, and Turk," Red said before ending the transmission. "We've recently discovered a new procedure to accelerate the growth of… stunted Invaders who have more than proven themselves worthy of promotion via their accomplishments. Can we assume that you would be interested in the procedure?"
Turk's eyes lit up and her squiddily-spooch felt like it would burst.
"I'll take that as a yes. Successfully keep Zim out of trouble and we'll see what we can do about getting you that growth spurt."
The transmission ended.
With a renewed sense of worth, Invader Turk leapt up and hugged her SIR unit.
"PURR! Set navigation control to 'Earth!'"
To Be Continued…..