Chapter 5 (A/N: YES! Chapter 5!)
Rating: R. Incessant swearing on Draco's part.
Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, would I be here writing stories? Nope. I'd be busy writing Order of the Phoenix (and getting it PUBLISHED *hint*) and the other two books. And I'd drink some lemonade. I love lemonade. However, I'm not JK Rowling so I don't own it. *Sob*
Author's Note: Booyah! I'm back after Christmas and am I ever happy. I got a freaking acoustic guitar for Christmas! I can't believe it! It's beautiful!
So! Chapter 5! Crazy! I can't believe I'm already at chapter 5. Not that that is very far, but I'm excited because this is my first H/D and everything. Well then.... here are the responses to your lovely reviews (love all of you)! I just uploaded this chapter without the responses, so I'm re-uploading them WITH the responses. Did you understand that? Never mind. Just read.
LadyDeath (Hoope you didn't die waiting for the next part 8-), Katie of Gryffindor (I love your fics. Yes, I rather enjoyed writing that kiss. My fingers just started typing it, I wasn't planning on it. Hope you like the new chapter!), Copacabana (Sorry. It was evil, wasn't it? Don't be so sure that's what Ron's going to do. Are you sure Ron likes the fact that they're getting married? His best friend and his sister? He may say he likes it, but you should know Ron well enough that he doesn't always say the things he means. 8-) We'll see. I thought him reading 'Life in the Fancy' was funny as well), Kimmy (Thanks. *Blsuhing brighter than Ron ever has* I don't think I'm that great. I don't have a very high self-esteem. 8-( Glad you liked it!), Cyber (Does Ron find out? Well not in this chapter, but maybe he will later. Yes, Harry reading slash. I kind of wrote that cuz it's what I do in Math class. I'll print out a slash fanfic and read it in class. 8-) Not as though you care, but whatever. And thanks, I tried with the romance. Not sure if it's very good. I better get.... better, cuz there's gonna be lots in this. But later on), a (I love your fic. Just had to say that! Little bit of slash at the beginning of this chapter! Hope it makes you mushy again. 'Live in the Fancy' is so much fun to write about. I quite enjoyed writing about Jake and Doug. They're adorable! You'll be happy. No Ginny/Harry.... well... not much anyway....), Sky Chief (Thanks for the review! I was really happy to get it. You used this big vocabulary. I love that! I might lock Ginny in a closet... but would you be mad if Harry was with her?), Emi (Did you make it to the end of the week? Hope so! Glad you like it so far. And thanks, I did try! Glad to hear I'm not trubbish at slash!), beautiful disaster (Like you penname! Glad you like it! Ginny - die? Well.... it would be easy to write. But it's so much more fun to have her live on and piss you and my other readers off), Mi Su (Thanks! Heh heh. Slashy goodness. Couldn't live without it! Here's more!) Right. Thanks everyone. And everyone please read a's fic 'At Borgin and Burkes'. Great, great fic!
Um... I know.... I was very evil to leave you hanging like that. I wish I could say I make up for it in this chapter but, quite frankly, I don't. Um.... to anyone who read the Draco/Harry Christmas fic I wrote: I am aware it was a really bad fic. I wrote it mostly for the slash. I know it really sucked: it was the result of not enough sleep, way too much coffee, and a rushed job. If you liked it, I'm very glad. I wrote it to make up for the absense of H/D in this fic. There won't be any for the next four or five chapters of this fic. *Holds up Math textbook to shield herself from the shoes, keyboards and knives launched at her* Feel free to destory my Math book.... but please don't hurt me. I'm doing this for the benefit of this story. =P
Well then, don't let me keep you waiting. Go ahead and read the next chapter. The rest of this author's note just goes on and on and doesn't really say anything. So stop now. I'm serious. If you read this last sentence, it won't tell you anything.
It was perfect. Harry's lips on mine. It was like a angel was kissing me. I was drunk on Harry's taste. And he was kissing me back! My world had disappeared. All that mattered was the friction that Harry's body and mine made, pressed together. I began rocking aginst his hips and he followed the motion. I wanted so much more. That was when Harry ended the marvelous kiss.
"Mon dieu," I said softly, pressing a hand to my mouth, which was tingling, "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that."
"What exactly *was* that?" Harry asked, an extremely shocked look on his face.
"The most amazing moment of my life." I could still taste Harry on my tongue and feel his hands roaming places I didn't want anyone else to touch. It felt weird without them doing that.
"You kissed me." I went silent. Ugh. Of course. He hadn't liked it. He thought I was disgusting and he hated me. Suddenly, I hated him too.
"You didn't exactly fight me off," I pointed out, my voice rising with my anger.
"No. Wasn't like I had much of a choice with your body pinning me to the wall!" he snapped. We were in the middle of the room, "Oh God.... I've got a girlfriend. This can't be happening. How could you kiss me?" He ran his hand frantically through his hair, making it stand up straight.
"Why the hell did you ask me here if you didn't want me to kiss you?" I demanded furiously.
"I wanted to talk to you, like two *normal* boys," he replied. That was going too far.
"Damn you!" I shouted, "How dare you say that! Being gay doesn't make me abnormal. You've been putting me on!"
"I have not -"
"Oh bullshit you haven't!" I shouted and he went completely still, "Bloody hell. What did you think I was going to do if you provided me with the chance to kiss you? How could you not have realized that I like you?"
"Well - I - I didn't know," Harry said, his eyes wide. I narrowed mine.
"Then you're fucking blind."
"You -" he started, trying to grab my hand. I pulled away.
"Don't FUCKING touch me," I shouted, very loudly. I turned around, wrenched open the door, stepped into the hall and slammed it hard behind me.
It was like my life was over. Essentially, it was. After months of an incredible want and obsessive love for Harry Potter, I'd been turned down by him. Life was over.
I tried to walk to the bathroom with my head held high, but I was distracted. I walked blindly into the bathroom, closed the door and collapsed against it.
Then I cried. Cried like I'd never cried before. They were very loud tears, but that was not important. How could I go on living? At least when I hadn't known for sure whether Harry loved me, there'd been that small amount of hope. Maybe Harry loved me back. But it was just a stupid fantasy. My life was definitely over.
I thought I was alone in the bathroom. I was dead wrong.
"Malfoy?" a voice asked. I looked up, and was shocked to find Colin Creevey, camera-toting little freak, standing in front of me. I stopped crying.
"Creevey," I acknowledged, "Nothing to see except a crying fool."
"It's okay to cry," Colin said, and he sat down next to me, "Everyone knows I'm a crybaby. I used to cry every day in my first year. No one liked me, I felt like an outcast. It eventually grew to crying every week in my second year. Everyone teased me about my crush on Harry."
"You had a crush on Harry?" I asked, rather surpised.
"Of course. I don't anymore. Sort of gave up. I remember crying every month in third and fourth year. Then maybe a few times a year in fifth. Now I'm back to crying every day."
I stared at Colin, "Why do you cry so much?"
"Because life is frustrating."
"Yes, that's true. But don't you realize people know they're getting to you if you cry?" I inquired.
"I can't help it. I'm a sensitive person. I cry about everything. I don't know why I'm telling you all this. You could go off and tell the Slytherins. But ever since you became friends with Harry, Hermione and Ron.... I don't know. I just feel like I can trust you." He smiled sadly. "Actually, the entire school has been changed by it. The barriers between houses have been knocked down. It's all because of you four. But enough about that. Why were you crying just now?"
That entire speech rather shocked me. I hadn't talked to the Slytherins very much since making friends with the Dream Team. They mostly just ignored me since I'd become friends with Harry. Sometimes one of them would insult me of make a comment. I just walked by, usually.
"Where's your camera?" I asked, ignoring his question.
"The Slytherins were making fun of me because I wear it, so I'm not going to anymore." I nodded, not really knowing what to say. "Why were you crying?" he asked again. I sighed and figured I couldn't lose anything by telling him.
"The great Draco Malfoy got turned down."
"Oh. I gave up on crushes long ago," Colin voiced.
"This wasn't a "crush". I was in love. Still am, in fact. Always will be. I'm head over heels. There's no one I love or ever will love more. But it doesn't matter. Isn't in love with me." Colin looked into my eyes when I spoke. It was something that made me feel warm inside. No one else really looked directly in my eyes when they spoke to me.
"Who is it, if it's not too personal?"
"It is actually." Colin nodded. "Not to be rude. But you wouldn't understand."
"Of course I wouldn't," he snapped, "Look, you don't spend six years all by yourself and not learn how to understand other people's suffering. You can trust me. I won't tell anyone."
"Fine, if you really want to know. I'm gay. And I love Harry. The-Boy- Who-Fucking-Lived. Oh God, I love him. I love him so, so much." I began sobbing. I've never sobbed in my life! Why start now?
Colin placed a short kiss on my cheek, which stalled my tears. (It was truly unexpected). Then he began kissing my eyes and my nose and my cheeks and my forehead. (A/N: I adored that scene between Holden and Jane in 'Catcher in the Rye'). It was the most comfortable feeling in the world. He pulled away from me silently.
"It's Harry's loss," he said, so silently I barely heard him. But I did. And I was touched, "Don't stop loving him, Draco. There may come a day where he'll need you more than anything. Until then, love him with all your heart."
"Do you think there's such a thing as too much love? As in, I love Harry too much. I'm not sure if it's healthy. It's so emotionally draining to love someone that doesn't love you back. I think I'm going to top myself." Colin's eyes met mine.
"Don't you dare! There's absolutely no point. Do you know how many times I though about killing myself? Many. I won't let you do it, Draco."
"But Harry is my only reason to live. If he doesn't love me, then what's the point?" I said. It wasn't really a question I thought would be answered. Colin answered it anyway.
"Because maybe one day he will." I stared at the wise Gryffindor. What he talked of sounded wonderful. Although I didn't think it possible, I appreciated his kind words.
"Thanks. God, you're so intelligent. As you said to me before.... if people don't appreciate you, Colin, it's their loss." He smiled.
"I agree with you, Draco. But somehow, no one else sees it as a loss. And they're the most important." I nodded. That was true. So very true.
*
I entered the Astronomy Tower. I actually planned to do some Astronomy. Sadly, when I reached the door, I realized there were people already occupying it. Who else but Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley, soon to be Ginny Potter I would find out.
I hung near the door, watching them converse.
"Ginny. I really like you," Harry said. Oh, shit. Ginny nodded, "As such, I think -"
"Are you breaking up with me?" Ginny interrupted. I felt spark of hope flood through my body. It had been three weeks since I'd felt one. It was kind of nice.
"No!" Harry said, "I'm doing the opposite. Will you marry me?" He held out a ring for Ginny. I smacked a hand over my mouth to keep myself from screaming. There was silence. Then a response, quieter than a mouse.
"Yes," she whispered. I sank to my knees outside the door, watching them in an embrace. I bit my lip to keep the tears from flowing. Then I got to my feet and took off for second time in a couple months. Just my luck I kept bumping into those two at the worse possible times.
But this was the last straw! Three weeks since I'd kissed him and he was getting married! I burst into the library, ran down the section about Transiguration, and plonked myself down at a secluded table. I pulled out the project I'd started weeks ago. Fuck being nice, fuck making friends, fuck breaking down house barriers, fuck all that shit that had gotten in the way the past couple months. I didn't care about being a Malfoy, I didn't care about being a Slytherin. I didn't care about any of that shit.
At that moment, I decided something. I wanted Harry. If I wanted Harry before, it was nothing compared to right now. I was so angry, the first thing I wrote on the Option Page was 'Kill Ginny Weasley'. No. That wouldn't get me anywhere. Well, besides a cell in Azkaban. I crossed that out and focused my mind.
I began writing options down, all ranging from seducing Ginny or Harry (whichever) and brewing up a love potion to give to Harry. But seduction was such a fine art that took careful planning. And love potions were illegal. So I slept and ate on it. I started talking to Pansy and the Slytherins again. I dropped Hermione, Harry and Ron. I was rotten to the Gryffindors again and it seemed as though everyone had gotten the old Draco Malfoy back.
I felt better than I had in months. The only small problem was that I missed Harry, Ron and Hermione's company. But that didn't matter. Soon enough, I'd be with Harry. That was enough. Who cared if I had to hurt people along the way? If I got Harry in the end, fuck everyone else.
Well, apparently, Harry, Hermione and Ron did indeed. They didn't want me being rotten to them, Hagrid, and the other Gryffindors. (I didn't really want to either.... but what choice did I have now?) The first problem in my "flawless" plan finally reared its ugly head, after a month of being horrible.
It happened a week into January. The Gryffindors and Slytherins were in Care of Magical Creatures. I was sitting with Pansy, Crabbe and Goyle.
"We'll be seeing the centaurs again today," Hagrid announced and many students voiced their approval.
"When are we ever going to move off of centaurs?" I asked Pansy loudly.
"When you actually shut up," Hagrid said flatly, and the Gryffindors chuckled. When he had his back turned, I flipped him (A/N: Another way of saying, "I showed him my middle finger") and turned to Pansy.
"Great oaf. Really hate him." Whilst I said that, I was gripping the grass tightly.
"He should really be sacked," Pansy said, "Why don't you do something? Get one of the centaurs, that one you're assigned to, to attack you."
Fuck. I was cornered. I couldn't say no. It was part of my plan to split up Ginny and Harry. But I couldn't do it. There was no way. I didn't want to get Hagrid sacked, for one thing, and another, I really liked Firenze.
"We'll see," I replied.
"Right. Here they come." They trotted onto the field.
"Lovely. Don't they all look constipated?" I said and the Slytherins laughed heartily. It wasn't funny, but I couldn't think of anything else to say.
"Actually," Hermione said a moment later, and all the Gryffindors and Slytherins went silent, "Can't help but think that describes *you* better." The Gryffindors laughed and said things like, "Had that one coming, Malfoy" (Dean Thomas), "Good one Hermione" (Lavender Brown) and "It sucks being constipated" (Seamus Finnigan).
"Oh, go screw a Weasley. Seven to choose from, right?" The Slytherins went "Ohhhh!" and Pansy burst into really loud, high, hysterical laughter. Everyone, and I mean everyone, cringed. The look on Hermione's face almost made me break down and apologize. But I kept up my act. Ron had turned bright red.
"Watch your mouth, Malfoy!" Hagrid roared.
"Can't, sorry. Impossible to see my own mouth."
"Shut up," said Harry slowly and clearly. Everyone went quiet. It stopped me right in my place and I did indeed shut up.
"Right. Thank you, Harry," Hagrid said, "Now.... all of you, go find your centaur and have fun." I furrowed my brow. How I hoped Firenze hadn't witnessed my insulting Hermione. I slowly stalked over to who felt like the only person who didn't hate me at the moment.
"Hello," I said. Firenze bowed his head and I climbed onto his back. Then he promptly dropped me onto the ground. Or not, "What the -" I stopped myself just in time. I got up off the floor and realized I'd deserved that. "I'm sorry."
"You should be," he said sternly, and instead of getting back on his back, I began to walk next to him around the lake, "What you just did was completely uncalled for. You insulted Harry's best friend. I seem to remember she's *your* best friend as well." There was silence while I thought about what to say.
"Dammit!" I burst out, "We were doing so well. Then he had to go and ask that stupid Weasley bitch to marry him!" Firenze didn't look the least bit surprised at the obscenities that had just flew from my mouth. He just let me continue ranting. "Don't think I've stopped loving him. I'm getting tired of saying it, but I truly love him. If he doesn't love me back, then what the fuck is the point? We kissed, Firenze. And it was so amazing! He's perfect in every single way. Except for the fact that he's with Ginny. She doesn't love him like I love him. It's so frustrating. Put yourself in my shoes, Firenze. You're absolutely obesessed with a guy, and he's with someone else. And you have to watch them together, kissing, hugging. It slowly drives you mad with jealousy. God how I hate Ginny. I don't want to, but I loathe her."
There was silence. (A/N: There *is* a lot of silence in this fic). Rightful silence. I'd just said a lot of different things. I waited impatiently.
"Draco." He sat down by a tree, his legs tucked under him. I sat down as well. "First.... I'm not going to say anything about your selection of words. Second, what's the point? The point is to believe in fate. If you and Harry are meant to be, you'll get together."
"What if I don't believe in fate? What if I can't wait for it?" I asked.
"Even if you don't believe in it, it's still there. You have to wait for it. You've got no other choice. Next, I'm very glad to hear you two kissed, but is he not dating Ginny?"
"Yes and technically, he cheated on her."
"Did you seduce him?" he asked. My jaw dropped.
"No. He practically shoved his tongue down my throat. I could either bite it or admit it. Which option seemed more appealing, do you think?"
"I see. If he isn't being honest with Ginny, that's a sure sign their relationships won't last. Without honesty, there is no foundation to build the relationship on. Don't give up quite yet. Last, put yourself in Harry's shoes."
"Okay," I said and put on a very confused look, trying to imitate Harry's voice, "I'm a prat. Draco loves me, but I'm going to date someone I *don't* love. Partly because I'm a moron, and partly because I'm so innocently, beautifully, idiotically blind." Firenze had what could be called a very small smirk on his face. (A/N: Yes Firenze can smirk!)
"Do you realize how intelligent you sound, even when you say stupid things?" the centaur inquired. I looked at him in contemplation for a minute.
"Why would I notice I'm smart? You must think I'm very vain," I said.
"Yes I do."
"Well, that's lovely," I said sarcastically and Firenze laughed! Yes! I got a laugh out of him! There's hope for me yet!
"Look.... Ginny and Harry.... seeing them together breaks my heart. I'm being rotten to Hermione because it's part of my plan."
"That stupid plan?" Firenze demanded, and he seemed so angry I was sort of worried.
"Um... the very one?" I offered lamely. He gave me an extremely dirty look before smacking me in the head with one of his hooves, "Abuse!" He laughed again.
"Explain this plan to me and perhaps I can talk you out of it." I shook my head but told him anyway.
"Well.... I think I'm going to tell Ginny that Harry and I kissed."
"And?"
"That's it," I replied.
"How exactly do you plan on getting Harry if you break them up? Don't you think he'll be angry if you tell Ginny about the kiss?" he asked. I thought for a minute. I shrugged.
"I guess I'll get someone else to start a rumour then."
"Brilliant!" Firenze said enthusiastically.
"Really?" I asked hopefully.
"No." Damn. "How will that get you Harry?"
"He'll come running to me when Ginny dumps him."
"Or he'll think it's your fault and break your nose for splitting him and his girlfriend up." I glared.
"Well I was thinking of seducing one of them as well."
"And how would that get you what you want?"
"Well... y'know... like... God, you suck," I said, with feeling. He laughed again. Yes! "I guess maybe Harry would break up with Ginny if he found out she slept with me."
"And he'd be in a real hurry to get with you after that." Damn.
"Okay.... I was thinking of making a love potion."
"That's illegal, not to mention very stupid." I nodded. I hadn't been serious about that one.
"I could kill Ginny," I said and Firenze laughed, "No I was serious."
"I know. That's the funny part. Why would Harry go out with you if you killed her?" I was beginning to see a pattern. Why would Harry go out with me?
"Fine! I'm incompetent!" I said, throwing my hands in the air in resignation. Firenze chuckled.
"I'm surprised you didn't sweep Harry off his feet with your wit and charm."
"It's a mystery," I admitted.
"You *are* vain."
"Yep." Firenze laughed. I liked this laughing business.
"But honestly, are you really going to go through with a plan and break them up?"
"No. Much too nice for that, y'know?"
"Right."
"Hey! I resent that! I gave a lot up to be their friends."
"And you gave up even more to drop them." That hit me hard.
"Yeah I know," I said quietly after a moment.
"Give me a hug," Firenze said and I did. It felt nice. We both looked up as Seamus and his centaur took off around the Hogwarts' grounds, Seamus singing at the top of his lungs, "I get around! Round, round, round, round, round, I get around!" I could hear Hermione laughing so hard she was rolling around on the grass.
"Muggle thing I guess," I said, mostly to myself. Firenze nodded, watching Seamus and his centaur bolt around the lake. "I'm too chicken to do it."
"D'you know... I think perhaps you really are perfect for Harry. You care about him far too much. I have no doubt you'd never be able to hurt him."
"I think - no, it's stupid," I started and then stopped.
"Nothing you can say will be stupid. You've said too many stupid things today," Firenze said sweetly, "No but seriously.... you can tell me anything."
"I know. All right - but don't laugh. Sometimes, like before I found out Harry and Ginny were getting married and before I found out they were even together, I thought about what it would be like to date Harry. And I started to think we were meant to be. Did you know I realized I loved Harry the minute he turned seventeen. That's got to be.... significant, somehow." I stretched out on the grass, staring at the sky. "It's times like that, and even now, when I think I still stand a chance. But I don't. I'm just being hopeful. That's all I have to give now. My desperate, last hope."
"That was not stupid. Not at all. In fact, is kind of pretty. Hold onto that hope, Draco."
"Okay. Thanks Firenze," I said and meant it. We rose and we made our back over to the rest of the class, which was beginning to gather again. There were only a few minutes left. I slid my arms around Firenze's neck and kissed him. (A/N: Sort of like you'd kiss your mummy or daddy. NOT a lover). "Really... thank you. You saved me from the practically inevetable crash and burn. You stopped it, though."
"Forget that. Hurry up and apologize to those three before they realize how much better off they are without you!" he said. I nodded and began the long walk to Hermione, Harry and Ron. Not nearly long enough. I soon found myself facing them.
"I think I'm going mad," I said, unable to think of something better, "I am so sorry. Hermione," I turned to her, "I'm sure you're only screwing this Weasley." The minute it left my lips I realized how mean it sounded. Crap! But she actually laughed. Then Ron did as well. I didn't pay attention to Harry. "Please don't be mad at me. I've had lots of things on my mind," I said carefully. Of course, Hermione picked up on it, but decided not to comment.
"We have to talk, Draco. When I say we, I mean *you'll* be doing most of ther talking, and I'll be doing most of the listening." I nodded. "As in, right now. Move." She promptly connected her foot with my ass.
"That hurt," I whined.
"Good," she replied, "Then we're even." I glared at her and we went up to the school. The next conversation I was to participate in would be a turning point.
(A/N: I was originally going to stop it there, but I realized you might kill me. Besides, that entire scene was very bad. But I'm extremely tired. It's 9.30 in the morning, and I went to bed at 4.30 in the morning! Bad chapters ensue with sleep deprivation. Right, on with the fic).
*
"Now," Hermione said, shoving me down in a chair in the library, "What the hell is your problem? What's up with you?"
"Which should I answer first?"
"Whichever," she replied.
"All right. Let's see. Remember that last night before the Christmas holidays? Well, Harry and I went to talk. We ended up doing much more than that." Hermione looked at me, confused for a moment, and then her eyes widened in realization.
"Oh!"
"Yes. We kissed. Absolutely amazing, Hermione. He really is great at it. No wonder Ginny's with him. Actually, that wasn't funny at all," I admitted. Hermione smirked. Another first!
"Wait! Harry kissed you behind Ginny's back. Ooh! They're getting married, too. Right, it's official by the way. Harry proposed."
"Yes I know."
"How do you know?"
"Saw him proposing to her."
"Shit, Draco," Hermione said, "I'm sorry!" She hugged me again. There was something about Hermione's hugs. They always made me feel a smidge better.
"Don't worry about it," I said.
"So.... Harry said he was going to ivite you to the wedding."
"How thoughtful of him," I said. Hermione have me a sad look.
"You might think about coming. Could provide you with closure."
"I don't want closure, I want Harry," I said flatly. Hermion smiled sadly.
"That's something you can't have yet." I frowned.
"What if you told Ginny that we kissed?" I asked, although I knew what she'd say.
"That would be so not smart." She put a hand on my hair. "I know how tough it must be for you -"
"No you fucking don't," I corrected, "Was there a time when you couldn't have Ron because he was getting married to someone else? I didn't think so." Hermione shook her head.
"In fifth year, he went out with Lavender Brown. I swear to God that almost killed me. Lavender was one of those kiss and tell kind of girls. She would describe, in perfect detail, how Ron kissed her played with her hair and other things." She shuddered. "I had this hopeless crush on him. I felt much the same you do now, though less intensified. I think that if I got Ron, and the competition included beautiful Lavender, you'll get Harry. I don't know why, I just think you will."
"Hermione.... you are gorgeous. Prettiest in our year, I'd say."
"Stop that. I know it's not true. Parvarti and Padma Patil are the prettiest. I'm way down there with Pansy," she said.
"If you were way down there with Pansy," I said, putting a look of disgust on my face, "I wouldn't be your friend. You're prettier than Parvarti and Padma. Or at least I think so. I know Ron does. I've heard Slytherins taking about you too. Some nice stuff they say, too." Hermione blushed.
"This is about you, not me."
"I know. I wish I could believe what you say."
"Look. If it happens, it'll happen on its own. I think it will. I do have some things to suggest, though. But it'll take a lot of strength on your part." I sat down and pulled her into the vacant chair beside me.
"Go on," I said, eyes shining with interest.
"You're so cute," Hermione said.
"So I've heard. Go on."
"Well.... I don't know if Harry is straight. I'm not sure if he's bisexual or homosexual or what. He acts sort of gay sometimes. When he talks about stuff he likes, he seems a bit gay. But that's a stereotype, so we can't base our assumptions on that. But I think there's a way we could figure out if he likes you."
"I'm listening," I said.
"Right. Are you willing to let the school know you're gay?" I liked how she cut to the point.
"I'm a bit scared of people's reactions. Fuck, I'm terrified. But like I said, if it's to find out whether Harry likes me, then I'll do it."
"We'll stand by you every minute of the day. Harry, Ron and I. I'm thinking if you let it out, you could start flirting with random guys to make Harry somewhat jealous. But if he doesn't like you, he won't take a second glance. Hopefully he'll glare at the guys you flirt with."
"All right."
"So I think it'd be best if I told Parvarti and Lavender that you told me you're gay. Then, it'll be spread around the school in a matter of minutes."
"You're brilliant!" I said.
"But are you sure you don't mind letting the school know?"
"Put it this way. If I were to date Harry, the school would find out. Because I'm not into hiding my feelings. Except maybe from Harry himself. I'm not going to hide our relationship from everyone. So, yes, I'm sure I want the school to know." Hermione threw her arms around my kneck and, quite surprisingly placed a short kiss on my lips. (A/N: Ewwwwww!!!!)
"Hermione..."
"Shut up. That was a friendly kiss," she said.
"Sure it was." She hit me and I grinned at her.
"Okay. Well... I better go. Pansy wanted me to meet her in the Great Hall." Hermione smirked when I put a look of disgust on my face.
"What's so bad about her?" she asked.
"I often think that's what made me gay. I'm kidding. Isn't it a funny joke. She's just horribly unintelligent. That's why I much prefer your company." Hermione blushed.
"That and she's damn ugly," Hermione added.
"Yes, that too," I admitted. We both laughed and then went our seperate ways. What I hadn't told Hermione was that I planned to completely ignore Harry (which was going to kill me). I planned to play hard to get. Maybe, although I sincerely doubted it, he's get annoyed and dump Weasley. We'd have to see.
As I left the library, I smiled at Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas, who had been previously poring over a book at a table. They both stared at me when I smiled. Then they slowly smiled back. I waved and exited the library. This wouldn't be that hard. Damn, was I ever wrong.
Woo hoo! This was lots of fun to write. This chapter was fun to write because I think you really got to see how much Draco loves Harry. I hope you all picked up on it. (It was rather difficult not to).
I hope you don't think I left you with a cliffhanger. I think I was much better than last time. So what did you think? Insert shameless plug here: Please read my Harry/Draco Christmas fic. It's not very good but I'd still like to hear what you think!
Um.... Seamus was singing 'I get Around' by the Beach Boys somewhere in this chapter. When he was riding the centaur. I think that's my favourite song at the moment.
*None of the guys go steady cuz it wouldn't be right to leave your best girl home on a Saturday night. I get around....*
Heh heh. It's too funny. Right... anyone like the Beach Boys or am I alone in my insanity? They, among The Beatles, Nirvana and Grabage, are some of the best musicians in the world. Those four bands are my favourites. Anyone else like them? No? Right then. R&R!
Tine
Rating: R. Incessant swearing on Draco's part.
Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, would I be here writing stories? Nope. I'd be busy writing Order of the Phoenix (and getting it PUBLISHED *hint*) and the other two books. And I'd drink some lemonade. I love lemonade. However, I'm not JK Rowling so I don't own it. *Sob*
Author's Note: Booyah! I'm back after Christmas and am I ever happy. I got a freaking acoustic guitar for Christmas! I can't believe it! It's beautiful!
So! Chapter 5! Crazy! I can't believe I'm already at chapter 5. Not that that is very far, but I'm excited because this is my first H/D and everything. Well then.... here are the responses to your lovely reviews (love all of you)! I just uploaded this chapter without the responses, so I'm re-uploading them WITH the responses. Did you understand that? Never mind. Just read.
LadyDeath (Hoope you didn't die waiting for the next part 8-), Katie of Gryffindor (I love your fics. Yes, I rather enjoyed writing that kiss. My fingers just started typing it, I wasn't planning on it. Hope you like the new chapter!), Copacabana (Sorry. It was evil, wasn't it? Don't be so sure that's what Ron's going to do. Are you sure Ron likes the fact that they're getting married? His best friend and his sister? He may say he likes it, but you should know Ron well enough that he doesn't always say the things he means. 8-) We'll see. I thought him reading 'Life in the Fancy' was funny as well), Kimmy (Thanks. *Blsuhing brighter than Ron ever has* I don't think I'm that great. I don't have a very high self-esteem. 8-( Glad you liked it!), Cyber (Does Ron find out? Well not in this chapter, but maybe he will later. Yes, Harry reading slash. I kind of wrote that cuz it's what I do in Math class. I'll print out a slash fanfic and read it in class. 8-) Not as though you care, but whatever. And thanks, I tried with the romance. Not sure if it's very good. I better get.... better, cuz there's gonna be lots in this. But later on), a (I love your fic. Just had to say that! Little bit of slash at the beginning of this chapter! Hope it makes you mushy again. 'Live in the Fancy' is so much fun to write about. I quite enjoyed writing about Jake and Doug. They're adorable! You'll be happy. No Ginny/Harry.... well... not much anyway....), Sky Chief (Thanks for the review! I was really happy to get it. You used this big vocabulary. I love that! I might lock Ginny in a closet... but would you be mad if Harry was with her?), Emi (Did you make it to the end of the week? Hope so! Glad you like it so far. And thanks, I did try! Glad to hear I'm not trubbish at slash!), beautiful disaster (Like you penname! Glad you like it! Ginny - die? Well.... it would be easy to write. But it's so much more fun to have her live on and piss you and my other readers off), Mi Su (Thanks! Heh heh. Slashy goodness. Couldn't live without it! Here's more!) Right. Thanks everyone. And everyone please read a's fic 'At Borgin and Burkes'. Great, great fic!
Um... I know.... I was very evil to leave you hanging like that. I wish I could say I make up for it in this chapter but, quite frankly, I don't. Um.... to anyone who read the Draco/Harry Christmas fic I wrote: I am aware it was a really bad fic. I wrote it mostly for the slash. I know it really sucked: it was the result of not enough sleep, way too much coffee, and a rushed job. If you liked it, I'm very glad. I wrote it to make up for the absense of H/D in this fic. There won't be any for the next four or five chapters of this fic. *Holds up Math textbook to shield herself from the shoes, keyboards and knives launched at her* Feel free to destory my Math book.... but please don't hurt me. I'm doing this for the benefit of this story. =P
Well then, don't let me keep you waiting. Go ahead and read the next chapter. The rest of this author's note just goes on and on and doesn't really say anything. So stop now. I'm serious. If you read this last sentence, it won't tell you anything.
It was perfect. Harry's lips on mine. It was like a angel was kissing me. I was drunk on Harry's taste. And he was kissing me back! My world had disappeared. All that mattered was the friction that Harry's body and mine made, pressed together. I began rocking aginst his hips and he followed the motion. I wanted so much more. That was when Harry ended the marvelous kiss.
"Mon dieu," I said softly, pressing a hand to my mouth, which was tingling, "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that."
"What exactly *was* that?" Harry asked, an extremely shocked look on his face.
"The most amazing moment of my life." I could still taste Harry on my tongue and feel his hands roaming places I didn't want anyone else to touch. It felt weird without them doing that.
"You kissed me." I went silent. Ugh. Of course. He hadn't liked it. He thought I was disgusting and he hated me. Suddenly, I hated him too.
"You didn't exactly fight me off," I pointed out, my voice rising with my anger.
"No. Wasn't like I had much of a choice with your body pinning me to the wall!" he snapped. We were in the middle of the room, "Oh God.... I've got a girlfriend. This can't be happening. How could you kiss me?" He ran his hand frantically through his hair, making it stand up straight.
"Why the hell did you ask me here if you didn't want me to kiss you?" I demanded furiously.
"I wanted to talk to you, like two *normal* boys," he replied. That was going too far.
"Damn you!" I shouted, "How dare you say that! Being gay doesn't make me abnormal. You've been putting me on!"
"I have not -"
"Oh bullshit you haven't!" I shouted and he went completely still, "Bloody hell. What did you think I was going to do if you provided me with the chance to kiss you? How could you not have realized that I like you?"
"Well - I - I didn't know," Harry said, his eyes wide. I narrowed mine.
"Then you're fucking blind."
"You -" he started, trying to grab my hand. I pulled away.
"Don't FUCKING touch me," I shouted, very loudly. I turned around, wrenched open the door, stepped into the hall and slammed it hard behind me.
It was like my life was over. Essentially, it was. After months of an incredible want and obsessive love for Harry Potter, I'd been turned down by him. Life was over.
I tried to walk to the bathroom with my head held high, but I was distracted. I walked blindly into the bathroom, closed the door and collapsed against it.
Then I cried. Cried like I'd never cried before. They were very loud tears, but that was not important. How could I go on living? At least when I hadn't known for sure whether Harry loved me, there'd been that small amount of hope. Maybe Harry loved me back. But it was just a stupid fantasy. My life was definitely over.
I thought I was alone in the bathroom. I was dead wrong.
"Malfoy?" a voice asked. I looked up, and was shocked to find Colin Creevey, camera-toting little freak, standing in front of me. I stopped crying.
"Creevey," I acknowledged, "Nothing to see except a crying fool."
"It's okay to cry," Colin said, and he sat down next to me, "Everyone knows I'm a crybaby. I used to cry every day in my first year. No one liked me, I felt like an outcast. It eventually grew to crying every week in my second year. Everyone teased me about my crush on Harry."
"You had a crush on Harry?" I asked, rather surpised.
"Of course. I don't anymore. Sort of gave up. I remember crying every month in third and fourth year. Then maybe a few times a year in fifth. Now I'm back to crying every day."
I stared at Colin, "Why do you cry so much?"
"Because life is frustrating."
"Yes, that's true. But don't you realize people know they're getting to you if you cry?" I inquired.
"I can't help it. I'm a sensitive person. I cry about everything. I don't know why I'm telling you all this. You could go off and tell the Slytherins. But ever since you became friends with Harry, Hermione and Ron.... I don't know. I just feel like I can trust you." He smiled sadly. "Actually, the entire school has been changed by it. The barriers between houses have been knocked down. It's all because of you four. But enough about that. Why were you crying just now?"
That entire speech rather shocked me. I hadn't talked to the Slytherins very much since making friends with the Dream Team. They mostly just ignored me since I'd become friends with Harry. Sometimes one of them would insult me of make a comment. I just walked by, usually.
"Where's your camera?" I asked, ignoring his question.
"The Slytherins were making fun of me because I wear it, so I'm not going to anymore." I nodded, not really knowing what to say. "Why were you crying?" he asked again. I sighed and figured I couldn't lose anything by telling him.
"The great Draco Malfoy got turned down."
"Oh. I gave up on crushes long ago," Colin voiced.
"This wasn't a "crush". I was in love. Still am, in fact. Always will be. I'm head over heels. There's no one I love or ever will love more. But it doesn't matter. Isn't in love with me." Colin looked into my eyes when I spoke. It was something that made me feel warm inside. No one else really looked directly in my eyes when they spoke to me.
"Who is it, if it's not too personal?"
"It is actually." Colin nodded. "Not to be rude. But you wouldn't understand."
"Of course I wouldn't," he snapped, "Look, you don't spend six years all by yourself and not learn how to understand other people's suffering. You can trust me. I won't tell anyone."
"Fine, if you really want to know. I'm gay. And I love Harry. The-Boy- Who-Fucking-Lived. Oh God, I love him. I love him so, so much." I began sobbing. I've never sobbed in my life! Why start now?
Colin placed a short kiss on my cheek, which stalled my tears. (It was truly unexpected). Then he began kissing my eyes and my nose and my cheeks and my forehead. (A/N: I adored that scene between Holden and Jane in 'Catcher in the Rye'). It was the most comfortable feeling in the world. He pulled away from me silently.
"It's Harry's loss," he said, so silently I barely heard him. But I did. And I was touched, "Don't stop loving him, Draco. There may come a day where he'll need you more than anything. Until then, love him with all your heart."
"Do you think there's such a thing as too much love? As in, I love Harry too much. I'm not sure if it's healthy. It's so emotionally draining to love someone that doesn't love you back. I think I'm going to top myself." Colin's eyes met mine.
"Don't you dare! There's absolutely no point. Do you know how many times I though about killing myself? Many. I won't let you do it, Draco."
"But Harry is my only reason to live. If he doesn't love me, then what's the point?" I said. It wasn't really a question I thought would be answered. Colin answered it anyway.
"Because maybe one day he will." I stared at the wise Gryffindor. What he talked of sounded wonderful. Although I didn't think it possible, I appreciated his kind words.
"Thanks. God, you're so intelligent. As you said to me before.... if people don't appreciate you, Colin, it's their loss." He smiled.
"I agree with you, Draco. But somehow, no one else sees it as a loss. And they're the most important." I nodded. That was true. So very true.
*
I entered the Astronomy Tower. I actually planned to do some Astronomy. Sadly, when I reached the door, I realized there were people already occupying it. Who else but Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley, soon to be Ginny Potter I would find out.
I hung near the door, watching them converse.
"Ginny. I really like you," Harry said. Oh, shit. Ginny nodded, "As such, I think -"
"Are you breaking up with me?" Ginny interrupted. I felt spark of hope flood through my body. It had been three weeks since I'd felt one. It was kind of nice.
"No!" Harry said, "I'm doing the opposite. Will you marry me?" He held out a ring for Ginny. I smacked a hand over my mouth to keep myself from screaming. There was silence. Then a response, quieter than a mouse.
"Yes," she whispered. I sank to my knees outside the door, watching them in an embrace. I bit my lip to keep the tears from flowing. Then I got to my feet and took off for second time in a couple months. Just my luck I kept bumping into those two at the worse possible times.
But this was the last straw! Three weeks since I'd kissed him and he was getting married! I burst into the library, ran down the section about Transiguration, and plonked myself down at a secluded table. I pulled out the project I'd started weeks ago. Fuck being nice, fuck making friends, fuck breaking down house barriers, fuck all that shit that had gotten in the way the past couple months. I didn't care about being a Malfoy, I didn't care about being a Slytherin. I didn't care about any of that shit.
At that moment, I decided something. I wanted Harry. If I wanted Harry before, it was nothing compared to right now. I was so angry, the first thing I wrote on the Option Page was 'Kill Ginny Weasley'. No. That wouldn't get me anywhere. Well, besides a cell in Azkaban. I crossed that out and focused my mind.
I began writing options down, all ranging from seducing Ginny or Harry (whichever) and brewing up a love potion to give to Harry. But seduction was such a fine art that took careful planning. And love potions were illegal. So I slept and ate on it. I started talking to Pansy and the Slytherins again. I dropped Hermione, Harry and Ron. I was rotten to the Gryffindors again and it seemed as though everyone had gotten the old Draco Malfoy back.
I felt better than I had in months. The only small problem was that I missed Harry, Ron and Hermione's company. But that didn't matter. Soon enough, I'd be with Harry. That was enough. Who cared if I had to hurt people along the way? If I got Harry in the end, fuck everyone else.
Well, apparently, Harry, Hermione and Ron did indeed. They didn't want me being rotten to them, Hagrid, and the other Gryffindors. (I didn't really want to either.... but what choice did I have now?) The first problem in my "flawless" plan finally reared its ugly head, after a month of being horrible.
It happened a week into January. The Gryffindors and Slytherins were in Care of Magical Creatures. I was sitting with Pansy, Crabbe and Goyle.
"We'll be seeing the centaurs again today," Hagrid announced and many students voiced their approval.
"When are we ever going to move off of centaurs?" I asked Pansy loudly.
"When you actually shut up," Hagrid said flatly, and the Gryffindors chuckled. When he had his back turned, I flipped him (A/N: Another way of saying, "I showed him my middle finger") and turned to Pansy.
"Great oaf. Really hate him." Whilst I said that, I was gripping the grass tightly.
"He should really be sacked," Pansy said, "Why don't you do something? Get one of the centaurs, that one you're assigned to, to attack you."
Fuck. I was cornered. I couldn't say no. It was part of my plan to split up Ginny and Harry. But I couldn't do it. There was no way. I didn't want to get Hagrid sacked, for one thing, and another, I really liked Firenze.
"We'll see," I replied.
"Right. Here they come." They trotted onto the field.
"Lovely. Don't they all look constipated?" I said and the Slytherins laughed heartily. It wasn't funny, but I couldn't think of anything else to say.
"Actually," Hermione said a moment later, and all the Gryffindors and Slytherins went silent, "Can't help but think that describes *you* better." The Gryffindors laughed and said things like, "Had that one coming, Malfoy" (Dean Thomas), "Good one Hermione" (Lavender Brown) and "It sucks being constipated" (Seamus Finnigan).
"Oh, go screw a Weasley. Seven to choose from, right?" The Slytherins went "Ohhhh!" and Pansy burst into really loud, high, hysterical laughter. Everyone, and I mean everyone, cringed. The look on Hermione's face almost made me break down and apologize. But I kept up my act. Ron had turned bright red.
"Watch your mouth, Malfoy!" Hagrid roared.
"Can't, sorry. Impossible to see my own mouth."
"Shut up," said Harry slowly and clearly. Everyone went quiet. It stopped me right in my place and I did indeed shut up.
"Right. Thank you, Harry," Hagrid said, "Now.... all of you, go find your centaur and have fun." I furrowed my brow. How I hoped Firenze hadn't witnessed my insulting Hermione. I slowly stalked over to who felt like the only person who didn't hate me at the moment.
"Hello," I said. Firenze bowed his head and I climbed onto his back. Then he promptly dropped me onto the ground. Or not, "What the -" I stopped myself just in time. I got up off the floor and realized I'd deserved that. "I'm sorry."
"You should be," he said sternly, and instead of getting back on his back, I began to walk next to him around the lake, "What you just did was completely uncalled for. You insulted Harry's best friend. I seem to remember she's *your* best friend as well." There was silence while I thought about what to say.
"Dammit!" I burst out, "We were doing so well. Then he had to go and ask that stupid Weasley bitch to marry him!" Firenze didn't look the least bit surprised at the obscenities that had just flew from my mouth. He just let me continue ranting. "Don't think I've stopped loving him. I'm getting tired of saying it, but I truly love him. If he doesn't love me back, then what the fuck is the point? We kissed, Firenze. And it was so amazing! He's perfect in every single way. Except for the fact that he's with Ginny. She doesn't love him like I love him. It's so frustrating. Put yourself in my shoes, Firenze. You're absolutely obesessed with a guy, and he's with someone else. And you have to watch them together, kissing, hugging. It slowly drives you mad with jealousy. God how I hate Ginny. I don't want to, but I loathe her."
There was silence. (A/N: There *is* a lot of silence in this fic). Rightful silence. I'd just said a lot of different things. I waited impatiently.
"Draco." He sat down by a tree, his legs tucked under him. I sat down as well. "First.... I'm not going to say anything about your selection of words. Second, what's the point? The point is to believe in fate. If you and Harry are meant to be, you'll get together."
"What if I don't believe in fate? What if I can't wait for it?" I asked.
"Even if you don't believe in it, it's still there. You have to wait for it. You've got no other choice. Next, I'm very glad to hear you two kissed, but is he not dating Ginny?"
"Yes and technically, he cheated on her."
"Did you seduce him?" he asked. My jaw dropped.
"No. He practically shoved his tongue down my throat. I could either bite it or admit it. Which option seemed more appealing, do you think?"
"I see. If he isn't being honest with Ginny, that's a sure sign their relationships won't last. Without honesty, there is no foundation to build the relationship on. Don't give up quite yet. Last, put yourself in Harry's shoes."
"Okay," I said and put on a very confused look, trying to imitate Harry's voice, "I'm a prat. Draco loves me, but I'm going to date someone I *don't* love. Partly because I'm a moron, and partly because I'm so innocently, beautifully, idiotically blind." Firenze had what could be called a very small smirk on his face. (A/N: Yes Firenze can smirk!)
"Do you realize how intelligent you sound, even when you say stupid things?" the centaur inquired. I looked at him in contemplation for a minute.
"Why would I notice I'm smart? You must think I'm very vain," I said.
"Yes I do."
"Well, that's lovely," I said sarcastically and Firenze laughed! Yes! I got a laugh out of him! There's hope for me yet!
"Look.... Ginny and Harry.... seeing them together breaks my heart. I'm being rotten to Hermione because it's part of my plan."
"That stupid plan?" Firenze demanded, and he seemed so angry I was sort of worried.
"Um... the very one?" I offered lamely. He gave me an extremely dirty look before smacking me in the head with one of his hooves, "Abuse!" He laughed again.
"Explain this plan to me and perhaps I can talk you out of it." I shook my head but told him anyway.
"Well.... I think I'm going to tell Ginny that Harry and I kissed."
"And?"
"That's it," I replied.
"How exactly do you plan on getting Harry if you break them up? Don't you think he'll be angry if you tell Ginny about the kiss?" he asked. I thought for a minute. I shrugged.
"I guess I'll get someone else to start a rumour then."
"Brilliant!" Firenze said enthusiastically.
"Really?" I asked hopefully.
"No." Damn. "How will that get you Harry?"
"He'll come running to me when Ginny dumps him."
"Or he'll think it's your fault and break your nose for splitting him and his girlfriend up." I glared.
"Well I was thinking of seducing one of them as well."
"And how would that get you what you want?"
"Well... y'know... like... God, you suck," I said, with feeling. He laughed again. Yes! "I guess maybe Harry would break up with Ginny if he found out she slept with me."
"And he'd be in a real hurry to get with you after that." Damn.
"Okay.... I was thinking of making a love potion."
"That's illegal, not to mention very stupid." I nodded. I hadn't been serious about that one.
"I could kill Ginny," I said and Firenze laughed, "No I was serious."
"I know. That's the funny part. Why would Harry go out with you if you killed her?" I was beginning to see a pattern. Why would Harry go out with me?
"Fine! I'm incompetent!" I said, throwing my hands in the air in resignation. Firenze chuckled.
"I'm surprised you didn't sweep Harry off his feet with your wit and charm."
"It's a mystery," I admitted.
"You *are* vain."
"Yep." Firenze laughed. I liked this laughing business.
"But honestly, are you really going to go through with a plan and break them up?"
"No. Much too nice for that, y'know?"
"Right."
"Hey! I resent that! I gave a lot up to be their friends."
"And you gave up even more to drop them." That hit me hard.
"Yeah I know," I said quietly after a moment.
"Give me a hug," Firenze said and I did. It felt nice. We both looked up as Seamus and his centaur took off around the Hogwarts' grounds, Seamus singing at the top of his lungs, "I get around! Round, round, round, round, round, I get around!" I could hear Hermione laughing so hard she was rolling around on the grass.
"Muggle thing I guess," I said, mostly to myself. Firenze nodded, watching Seamus and his centaur bolt around the lake. "I'm too chicken to do it."
"D'you know... I think perhaps you really are perfect for Harry. You care about him far too much. I have no doubt you'd never be able to hurt him."
"I think - no, it's stupid," I started and then stopped.
"Nothing you can say will be stupid. You've said too many stupid things today," Firenze said sweetly, "No but seriously.... you can tell me anything."
"I know. All right - but don't laugh. Sometimes, like before I found out Harry and Ginny were getting married and before I found out they were even together, I thought about what it would be like to date Harry. And I started to think we were meant to be. Did you know I realized I loved Harry the minute he turned seventeen. That's got to be.... significant, somehow." I stretched out on the grass, staring at the sky. "It's times like that, and even now, when I think I still stand a chance. But I don't. I'm just being hopeful. That's all I have to give now. My desperate, last hope."
"That was not stupid. Not at all. In fact, is kind of pretty. Hold onto that hope, Draco."
"Okay. Thanks Firenze," I said and meant it. We rose and we made our back over to the rest of the class, which was beginning to gather again. There were only a few minutes left. I slid my arms around Firenze's neck and kissed him. (A/N: Sort of like you'd kiss your mummy or daddy. NOT a lover). "Really... thank you. You saved me from the practically inevetable crash and burn. You stopped it, though."
"Forget that. Hurry up and apologize to those three before they realize how much better off they are without you!" he said. I nodded and began the long walk to Hermione, Harry and Ron. Not nearly long enough. I soon found myself facing them.
"I think I'm going mad," I said, unable to think of something better, "I am so sorry. Hermione," I turned to her, "I'm sure you're only screwing this Weasley." The minute it left my lips I realized how mean it sounded. Crap! But she actually laughed. Then Ron did as well. I didn't pay attention to Harry. "Please don't be mad at me. I've had lots of things on my mind," I said carefully. Of course, Hermione picked up on it, but decided not to comment.
"We have to talk, Draco. When I say we, I mean *you'll* be doing most of ther talking, and I'll be doing most of the listening." I nodded. "As in, right now. Move." She promptly connected her foot with my ass.
"That hurt," I whined.
"Good," she replied, "Then we're even." I glared at her and we went up to the school. The next conversation I was to participate in would be a turning point.
(A/N: I was originally going to stop it there, but I realized you might kill me. Besides, that entire scene was very bad. But I'm extremely tired. It's 9.30 in the morning, and I went to bed at 4.30 in the morning! Bad chapters ensue with sleep deprivation. Right, on with the fic).
*
"Now," Hermione said, shoving me down in a chair in the library, "What the hell is your problem? What's up with you?"
"Which should I answer first?"
"Whichever," she replied.
"All right. Let's see. Remember that last night before the Christmas holidays? Well, Harry and I went to talk. We ended up doing much more than that." Hermione looked at me, confused for a moment, and then her eyes widened in realization.
"Oh!"
"Yes. We kissed. Absolutely amazing, Hermione. He really is great at it. No wonder Ginny's with him. Actually, that wasn't funny at all," I admitted. Hermione smirked. Another first!
"Wait! Harry kissed you behind Ginny's back. Ooh! They're getting married, too. Right, it's official by the way. Harry proposed."
"Yes I know."
"How do you know?"
"Saw him proposing to her."
"Shit, Draco," Hermione said, "I'm sorry!" She hugged me again. There was something about Hermione's hugs. They always made me feel a smidge better.
"Don't worry about it," I said.
"So.... Harry said he was going to ivite you to the wedding."
"How thoughtful of him," I said. Hermione have me a sad look.
"You might think about coming. Could provide you with closure."
"I don't want closure, I want Harry," I said flatly. Hermion smiled sadly.
"That's something you can't have yet." I frowned.
"What if you told Ginny that we kissed?" I asked, although I knew what she'd say.
"That would be so not smart." She put a hand on my hair. "I know how tough it must be for you -"
"No you fucking don't," I corrected, "Was there a time when you couldn't have Ron because he was getting married to someone else? I didn't think so." Hermione shook her head.
"In fifth year, he went out with Lavender Brown. I swear to God that almost killed me. Lavender was one of those kiss and tell kind of girls. She would describe, in perfect detail, how Ron kissed her played with her hair and other things." She shuddered. "I had this hopeless crush on him. I felt much the same you do now, though less intensified. I think that if I got Ron, and the competition included beautiful Lavender, you'll get Harry. I don't know why, I just think you will."
"Hermione.... you are gorgeous. Prettiest in our year, I'd say."
"Stop that. I know it's not true. Parvarti and Padma Patil are the prettiest. I'm way down there with Pansy," she said.
"If you were way down there with Pansy," I said, putting a look of disgust on my face, "I wouldn't be your friend. You're prettier than Parvarti and Padma. Or at least I think so. I know Ron does. I've heard Slytherins taking about you too. Some nice stuff they say, too." Hermione blushed.
"This is about you, not me."
"I know. I wish I could believe what you say."
"Look. If it happens, it'll happen on its own. I think it will. I do have some things to suggest, though. But it'll take a lot of strength on your part." I sat down and pulled her into the vacant chair beside me.
"Go on," I said, eyes shining with interest.
"You're so cute," Hermione said.
"So I've heard. Go on."
"Well.... I don't know if Harry is straight. I'm not sure if he's bisexual or homosexual or what. He acts sort of gay sometimes. When he talks about stuff he likes, he seems a bit gay. But that's a stereotype, so we can't base our assumptions on that. But I think there's a way we could figure out if he likes you."
"I'm listening," I said.
"Right. Are you willing to let the school know you're gay?" I liked how she cut to the point.
"I'm a bit scared of people's reactions. Fuck, I'm terrified. But like I said, if it's to find out whether Harry likes me, then I'll do it."
"We'll stand by you every minute of the day. Harry, Ron and I. I'm thinking if you let it out, you could start flirting with random guys to make Harry somewhat jealous. But if he doesn't like you, he won't take a second glance. Hopefully he'll glare at the guys you flirt with."
"All right."
"So I think it'd be best if I told Parvarti and Lavender that you told me you're gay. Then, it'll be spread around the school in a matter of minutes."
"You're brilliant!" I said.
"But are you sure you don't mind letting the school know?"
"Put it this way. If I were to date Harry, the school would find out. Because I'm not into hiding my feelings. Except maybe from Harry himself. I'm not going to hide our relationship from everyone. So, yes, I'm sure I want the school to know." Hermione threw her arms around my kneck and, quite surprisingly placed a short kiss on my lips. (A/N: Ewwwwww!!!!)
"Hermione..."
"Shut up. That was a friendly kiss," she said.
"Sure it was." She hit me and I grinned at her.
"Okay. Well... I better go. Pansy wanted me to meet her in the Great Hall." Hermione smirked when I put a look of disgust on my face.
"What's so bad about her?" she asked.
"I often think that's what made me gay. I'm kidding. Isn't it a funny joke. She's just horribly unintelligent. That's why I much prefer your company." Hermione blushed.
"That and she's damn ugly," Hermione added.
"Yes, that too," I admitted. We both laughed and then went our seperate ways. What I hadn't told Hermione was that I planned to completely ignore Harry (which was going to kill me). I planned to play hard to get. Maybe, although I sincerely doubted it, he's get annoyed and dump Weasley. We'd have to see.
As I left the library, I smiled at Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas, who had been previously poring over a book at a table. They both stared at me when I smiled. Then they slowly smiled back. I waved and exited the library. This wouldn't be that hard. Damn, was I ever wrong.
Woo hoo! This was lots of fun to write. This chapter was fun to write because I think you really got to see how much Draco loves Harry. I hope you all picked up on it. (It was rather difficult not to).
I hope you don't think I left you with a cliffhanger. I think I was much better than last time. So what did you think? Insert shameless plug here: Please read my Harry/Draco Christmas fic. It's not very good but I'd still like to hear what you think!
Um.... Seamus was singing 'I get Around' by the Beach Boys somewhere in this chapter. When he was riding the centaur. I think that's my favourite song at the moment.
*None of the guys go steady cuz it wouldn't be right to leave your best girl home on a Saturday night. I get around....*
Heh heh. It's too funny. Right... anyone like the Beach Boys or am I alone in my insanity? They, among The Beatles, Nirvana and Grabage, are some of the best musicians in the world. Those four bands are my favourites. Anyone else like them? No? Right then. R&R!
Tine