Oh So Cold
Part Eight: The Boy on the Bed
By: Samsara
Disclaimer still stands. Question: Is Mr. Kinomoto Sakura & Touya's Dad's name? For now I'll call him Mr. Avalon, from the dub version...
Part Eight The Boy on the Bed
The next three days were pure hell for Yukito. Mr. Avalon came in to visit, but left quickly after Yuki's lack of response. The days and nights passed slowly, and each moment Yukito's mind grew bolder. Touya came and visited after school, sometimes bringing Sakura along. She stared at Yukito for long moments of time, her green eyes glowing with fear and resentment not usual to her appearance. The abnormal tinge in her eyes did not leave even when she left the hospital. The attention circling him was confusing and dizzying. At school, students inquired where their favorite "snow bunny" was, but all Touya could was shake his head and mutter to himself. Several times Touya was caught staring off into space during classes, and skipped his detention whenever he got it. Neither Touya or Yuki had been getting much sleep, and they hadn't spoken since their argument. Touya's visits usually lasted until nine at night when he had to come home, and each portion of time was quiet and tense. Yukito rarely acknowledged him, and refused help from anyone. At the end of the second day they took out Yukito's catheter, but the restraints around his wrists remained. Arrangements had been made for Yukito to go home with the Avalons, but whether Yukito liked the idea or not was a mystery. Touya continued to sit in the chair next to the bed, half watching Yuki and half watching the T.V. At the end of the third day, Yukito would be going home with Touya. It was about eight thirty on Yuki's third day in the hospital when Touya and Yukito were both aroused from their T.V. trance by a knock at the door. A woman with springy orange hair and a teal jumpsuit stood in the doorway.
"Hi, I'm from the phyc. ward. I'm here to speak with Yukito?" Her voice was timid, and her statement a half question. Touya nodded and glanced down at the boy on the bed. Yukito's brow was furrowed and sweaty, his hospital gown was rumpled around the edges. With a last peek at Yuki, Touya trudged out of the room and into the lobby.
"Hello, Yukito. I'm Sally. I was told you wanted someone to come talk to you," she stared, pulling an empty chair next to the bed. She rested a clipboard on her lap and was scribbling little notes on the yellow sheet. Yukito glared at her.
"I didn't ask for someone to talk to,"
"Well, I'm here now. I need to ask you some questions at the very least. Did you know that cutting your wrists would kill you?" Sally sat back in her chair, pen in mouth, waiting for the answer. Yukito rolled his eyes and turned away from her.
"Of course I did. Why do you think I did it?" was his short reply.
"I don't know. Why don't you tell me? Why did you try to kill yourself?" Her sensible answer seemed too neutral to be real. Yukito didn't turn back to her, but spoke again.
" I don't know,"
"Well don't you think if you're going to end it all you should at least know why?" She was scrawling more notes down on her sheet furiously.
"There were a lot of reasons," Yukito whispered back. His body had again curled up onto one corner of the bed, and his hands were struggling against the restraints to cover up his mouth like paws. Yuki closed his eyes and switched the T.V. off.
"Tell me one reason,"
"Because... Because.... I don't know," he whimpered," Everything's my fault,"
Yukito squeezed his eyes shut further, his eyelids attempted to close out the tears that would soon be falling. "How could she be asking such questions? Wasn't it obvious? Wasn't he already in the spotlight enough?" Yukito thought silently. Sally obviously didn't notice his distress and kept writing.
"Why is that?" She pursued the question, again with her pen in her mouth.
"So she agrees! She thinks everything is my fault! Then why does she have to know why? It doesn't matter, it's just is!!" Yukito's thoughts were on a rampage against him and would not be calmed.
"That's the way it is!" He snarled at her. She didn't jump or get frightened like he half expected her to. Instead she continued writing, scribbling more and more notes down that would probably damn him to more hours in the hospital.
"Do you think you'll try this again?"
Yukito laughed, but it carried no amusement or character.
"Yes, but not soon,"
"Why not soon? Why wait awhile?"
"I'm too numb right now," Yukito laughed again.
"What do you mean?"
"I don't feel anything. I can't... I can't smile or ... I don't know. I just can't feel anything. I'm numb. I don't want anything new to happen. I want out of here." He said softly.
Sally sighed and finished her notes. Their conference had been almost a half hour, and now it was nine p.m. and she had to go.
"I'm really sorry that I can't stay and speak with you. I have another appointment," She stood up and turned to leave.
Yukito turned around and peered at the woman about to leave.
"Another appointment? For another suicidal?" he asked, startled.
"Yes. You're not the only one who decided to kill himself. That's how everything is in life. You're never alone," With that, she left.
Yukito stared at the spot where she had just been.
"There are other people who are like me? Who just want to die?" Yukito murmured to himself. The idea was new and amazing all at the same time. A few moments later a nurse came in carrying some soap and towels. She wore the normal sweatpants and mock that every nurse donned, and wore a bright smile on her face. Her nametag read 'Nicole'. "Yukito! We've decided that you can go home now. The boy who was with you went to go get his motorcycle, so you'll have time to shower,"
"I'm not going to a loony bin, am I?" Yukito questioned, sitting up in the bed. The nurse released the plastic cuffs around his wrists and helped him off the bed.
"No, but you are going to have to find a physiatrist. Don't worry, those guys are all nice people and it's good to talk to someone who you don't see on a regular basis. That way you get an opinion of someone who's not involved with your situation, " Nicole told him, before unfurling a curtain that had been hiding a shower.
"You can take a quick shower and I'll layout some clothes your friend brought you. Here's some soap and a towel," The walls facing the lobby were glass so that the nurses could see if anything was the matter. Nicole drew the curtains to give Yukito some privacy from the nurses and left. Yukito slowly peeled off the sweaty nightgown which had recently turned into a second skin. He laid it down on the bed before hopping into the shower. The water was warm and spread a fire of cleanliness all over him. His hair was lighter after he washed it, the perspiration of his days in a bed slipping off him in cascades of soapy water. His wrists were doused in the smell of sweat from the cuffs that eventually came off with harsh scrubs. There were stitched on his wrists that were wrapped in bandages that kept out water. He didn't bother to peel away the bandage to see his work. When he emerged from the shower, toweling his hair, he saw the clothes that Touya had brought for him. There were black pants and red tee- shirt. Both were pretty baggy on him, but the sneakers hid most of the excess material. He pulled the clothes on clumsily, taking awhile to figure out how to button the pants. He finally went out into the lobby where Nicole was waiting for him. She smiled at his damp hair and baggy clothes before leading him to the main entrance. As they waited for Touya, Nicole sat them down in chairs to wait.
"You know Yukito, Hospitals are for very sick people and old people, and you're neither. You don't belong in here, and I never want to see you come through those doors as a patient ever again. Will you promise me you won't?" Nicole told him solemnly. Her voice held the weariness years of work and entrapment in the sick ward. Yukito glanced at her, surprised at her rough sense caring. She was right, and maybe he didn't believe her fully, but perhaps someday he could. He smiled and nodded.
"I promise," he said.
-----------
By the time Yukito and Touya came home, Sakura was at Tomoyo's and Mr. Avalon was away on a business trip. The house was calm and collected, everything in the right order. Touya lead him up the stairs into his bedroom.
"Until we get a room set up for you, you can stay in my room." The futon that Yukito normally slept on when he stayed overnight with Touya was set up and dressed. He sat down on it, fingers lacing through the sheets and eyes cast downwards.
"Touya, Thanks," he whispered. His eyes were covering over again with mists of tears, and a lump was gathering in his throat.
"Hey, it's okay. It's what I'm here for, alright? It's what friends are supposed to do, and I'm your friend," Touya smiled, and sat next to Yukito. He laid his arms around Yukito and held him as he cried. It was the first time Yukito had ever cried in front of him, and the first time Touya had been given a chance to lay his arms around Yukito. Ultimately Yukito lay down, still clothed, in the bed and fell asleep, all the while Touya murmuring comforts to him. Touya knelt by Yukito's bed and watched the boy sleep. Gently, he pressed his lips to Yukito's cheek in a kiss. After a whispered 'Good Night', Touya dimmed the lights and began his homework.
----------- A/N: Wow, very long chapter (well, at least compared to the other chapters). Keep ending ideas coming 'cause we're getting there soon! Thanks for all your reviews, too! Ja ne! -Samsara
Disclaimer still stands. Question: Is Mr. Kinomoto Sakura & Touya's Dad's name? For now I'll call him Mr. Avalon, from the dub version...
Part Eight The Boy on the Bed
The next three days were pure hell for Yukito. Mr. Avalon came in to visit, but left quickly after Yuki's lack of response. The days and nights passed slowly, and each moment Yukito's mind grew bolder. Touya came and visited after school, sometimes bringing Sakura along. She stared at Yukito for long moments of time, her green eyes glowing with fear and resentment not usual to her appearance. The abnormal tinge in her eyes did not leave even when she left the hospital. The attention circling him was confusing and dizzying. At school, students inquired where their favorite "snow bunny" was, but all Touya could was shake his head and mutter to himself. Several times Touya was caught staring off into space during classes, and skipped his detention whenever he got it. Neither Touya or Yuki had been getting much sleep, and they hadn't spoken since their argument. Touya's visits usually lasted until nine at night when he had to come home, and each portion of time was quiet and tense. Yukito rarely acknowledged him, and refused help from anyone. At the end of the second day they took out Yukito's catheter, but the restraints around his wrists remained. Arrangements had been made for Yukito to go home with the Avalons, but whether Yukito liked the idea or not was a mystery. Touya continued to sit in the chair next to the bed, half watching Yuki and half watching the T.V. At the end of the third day, Yukito would be going home with Touya. It was about eight thirty on Yuki's third day in the hospital when Touya and Yukito were both aroused from their T.V. trance by a knock at the door. A woman with springy orange hair and a teal jumpsuit stood in the doorway.
"Hi, I'm from the phyc. ward. I'm here to speak with Yukito?" Her voice was timid, and her statement a half question. Touya nodded and glanced down at the boy on the bed. Yukito's brow was furrowed and sweaty, his hospital gown was rumpled around the edges. With a last peek at Yuki, Touya trudged out of the room and into the lobby.
"Hello, Yukito. I'm Sally. I was told you wanted someone to come talk to you," she stared, pulling an empty chair next to the bed. She rested a clipboard on her lap and was scribbling little notes on the yellow sheet. Yukito glared at her.
"I didn't ask for someone to talk to,"
"Well, I'm here now. I need to ask you some questions at the very least. Did you know that cutting your wrists would kill you?" Sally sat back in her chair, pen in mouth, waiting for the answer. Yukito rolled his eyes and turned away from her.
"Of course I did. Why do you think I did it?" was his short reply.
"I don't know. Why don't you tell me? Why did you try to kill yourself?" Her sensible answer seemed too neutral to be real. Yukito didn't turn back to her, but spoke again.
" I don't know,"
"Well don't you think if you're going to end it all you should at least know why?" She was scrawling more notes down on her sheet furiously.
"There were a lot of reasons," Yukito whispered back. His body had again curled up onto one corner of the bed, and his hands were struggling against the restraints to cover up his mouth like paws. Yuki closed his eyes and switched the T.V. off.
"Tell me one reason,"
"Because... Because.... I don't know," he whimpered," Everything's my fault,"
Yukito squeezed his eyes shut further, his eyelids attempted to close out the tears that would soon be falling. "How could she be asking such questions? Wasn't it obvious? Wasn't he already in the spotlight enough?" Yukito thought silently. Sally obviously didn't notice his distress and kept writing.
"Why is that?" She pursued the question, again with her pen in her mouth.
"So she agrees! She thinks everything is my fault! Then why does she have to know why? It doesn't matter, it's just is!!" Yukito's thoughts were on a rampage against him and would not be calmed.
"That's the way it is!" He snarled at her. She didn't jump or get frightened like he half expected her to. Instead she continued writing, scribbling more and more notes down that would probably damn him to more hours in the hospital.
"Do you think you'll try this again?"
Yukito laughed, but it carried no amusement or character.
"Yes, but not soon,"
"Why not soon? Why wait awhile?"
"I'm too numb right now," Yukito laughed again.
"What do you mean?"
"I don't feel anything. I can't... I can't smile or ... I don't know. I just can't feel anything. I'm numb. I don't want anything new to happen. I want out of here." He said softly.
Sally sighed and finished her notes. Their conference had been almost a half hour, and now it was nine p.m. and she had to go.
"I'm really sorry that I can't stay and speak with you. I have another appointment," She stood up and turned to leave.
Yukito turned around and peered at the woman about to leave.
"Another appointment? For another suicidal?" he asked, startled.
"Yes. You're not the only one who decided to kill himself. That's how everything is in life. You're never alone," With that, she left.
Yukito stared at the spot where she had just been.
"There are other people who are like me? Who just want to die?" Yukito murmured to himself. The idea was new and amazing all at the same time. A few moments later a nurse came in carrying some soap and towels. She wore the normal sweatpants and mock that every nurse donned, and wore a bright smile on her face. Her nametag read 'Nicole'. "Yukito! We've decided that you can go home now. The boy who was with you went to go get his motorcycle, so you'll have time to shower,"
"I'm not going to a loony bin, am I?" Yukito questioned, sitting up in the bed. The nurse released the plastic cuffs around his wrists and helped him off the bed.
"No, but you are going to have to find a physiatrist. Don't worry, those guys are all nice people and it's good to talk to someone who you don't see on a regular basis. That way you get an opinion of someone who's not involved with your situation, " Nicole told him, before unfurling a curtain that had been hiding a shower.
"You can take a quick shower and I'll layout some clothes your friend brought you. Here's some soap and a towel," The walls facing the lobby were glass so that the nurses could see if anything was the matter. Nicole drew the curtains to give Yukito some privacy from the nurses and left. Yukito slowly peeled off the sweaty nightgown which had recently turned into a second skin. He laid it down on the bed before hopping into the shower. The water was warm and spread a fire of cleanliness all over him. His hair was lighter after he washed it, the perspiration of his days in a bed slipping off him in cascades of soapy water. His wrists were doused in the smell of sweat from the cuffs that eventually came off with harsh scrubs. There were stitched on his wrists that were wrapped in bandages that kept out water. He didn't bother to peel away the bandage to see his work. When he emerged from the shower, toweling his hair, he saw the clothes that Touya had brought for him. There were black pants and red tee- shirt. Both were pretty baggy on him, but the sneakers hid most of the excess material. He pulled the clothes on clumsily, taking awhile to figure out how to button the pants. He finally went out into the lobby where Nicole was waiting for him. She smiled at his damp hair and baggy clothes before leading him to the main entrance. As they waited for Touya, Nicole sat them down in chairs to wait.
"You know Yukito, Hospitals are for very sick people and old people, and you're neither. You don't belong in here, and I never want to see you come through those doors as a patient ever again. Will you promise me you won't?" Nicole told him solemnly. Her voice held the weariness years of work and entrapment in the sick ward. Yukito glanced at her, surprised at her rough sense caring. She was right, and maybe he didn't believe her fully, but perhaps someday he could. He smiled and nodded.
"I promise," he said.
-----------
By the time Yukito and Touya came home, Sakura was at Tomoyo's and Mr. Avalon was away on a business trip. The house was calm and collected, everything in the right order. Touya lead him up the stairs into his bedroom.
"Until we get a room set up for you, you can stay in my room." The futon that Yukito normally slept on when he stayed overnight with Touya was set up and dressed. He sat down on it, fingers lacing through the sheets and eyes cast downwards.
"Touya, Thanks," he whispered. His eyes were covering over again with mists of tears, and a lump was gathering in his throat.
"Hey, it's okay. It's what I'm here for, alright? It's what friends are supposed to do, and I'm your friend," Touya smiled, and sat next to Yukito. He laid his arms around Yukito and held him as he cried. It was the first time Yukito had ever cried in front of him, and the first time Touya had been given a chance to lay his arms around Yukito. Ultimately Yukito lay down, still clothed, in the bed and fell asleep, all the while Touya murmuring comforts to him. Touya knelt by Yukito's bed and watched the boy sleep. Gently, he pressed his lips to Yukito's cheek in a kiss. After a whispered 'Good Night', Touya dimmed the lights and began his homework.
----------- A/N: Wow, very long chapter (well, at least compared to the other chapters). Keep ending ideas coming 'cause we're getting there soon! Thanks for all your reviews, too! Ja ne! -Samsara