I closed my eyes again and smiled a little to myself. I was going home, and I was alive. That's all I'd wanted, and I got my wish.
My friends sat on the couches across from me, already deep in a conversation about my injuries. They were not aware that I was awake and could hear every word they said. I decided to remain silent for a while so that I might hear what was on their minds.
"Man, oh man!" Irving Kinneas said and scratched his head, "I can't believe she's alive. I thought for sure she was a gonner."
"She's always been strong," Maia said and shrugged.
"What kind of sick fuck would do something like that? I mean, it looks like someone stuck a two-by-four through her hands. I took a good look at them, and I swear I was able to see daylight on the other side," Hiro Dincht mused.
"Dincht," Gabriel said, "Do me a favor and shut the fuck up."
"I guess we're lucky we found her when we did," Maia breathed.
"Maia," Gabriel hissed. "Enough already."
"What's the matter, Leonhart? You have a thing for her or something?" Irving asked
"Look, I don't want to sit here and rehash the gory details with you, if you don't mind. Our friend almost dying isn't something I enjoy discussing, and I don't want to hear any more," Gabriel said.
"You're spooked," Maia said.
"Hell yeah, I'm spooked. It could easily have been one of us, so acting like it's a juicy tidbit of gossip leaves a really bad taste in my mouth," he replied. "So if you don't mind, change the fucking subject."
Irving cleared his throat. "Sorry, man," he said. "Didn't mean to trivialize the situation. You didn't answer my question though. You got the hots for her or something?"
"You know, she might be able to hear us," Maia pointed out.
"Thank you, Maia," Gabriel said. "And it's none of your business if I do or not."
"You do!" Irving cried. "You've got the hots for her!"
"Aaahhhh!" Gabriel cried in frustration. "Irving, you don't know when to quit do you? Please, all of you, just shut up."
"Is that an order?" Hiro asked.
"Yes. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to check on her."
I quickly closed my eyes and feigned sleep. I felt his hand rest against my forehead, and then against my neck, feeling for my pulse. Satisfied that I was still alive, he sat on the edge of the bed and sighed.
After a moment, I opened my eyes.
"Did I wake you?"
"No," I whispered. My voice was hoarse from screaming, and my throat ached for water. I tried to sit up, but found I couldn't. My body felt like lead.
"Just relax," he told me and brushed a few strands of hair from my face. "The doctor gave you some morphine, for the pain."
"Ugh," I groaned. "How much longer till we're home?"
"Forty minutes. An hour at most."
"You check in yet?"
"Twice already. Your father is going ballistic."
"Not surprising," I mumbled. "Hey, um, I need to use the bathroom."
He helped me sit up. Neither my arms nor my legs seemed to want to move. "I'll get Maia to help you."
"Thanks," I said, embarrassed.
The pair had to nearly carry me to the tiny bathroom. My legs felt like jelly and I would have fallen without support. As it was, just being vertical made me dizzy.
With the door closed, and Maia there to assist me, I looked at my reflection and surveyed the damage. One black eye, one swollen nose, a busted lip and a suspicious looking gash along my jaw. I looked like death reheated twice over. "Maia, remind me not to look into a mirror until all this goes away," I said and attempted to unbutton my jeans. "Fuck!" I swore. I had undone the button, but I was unable to grasp the zipper between my mangled fingers no matter how hard I tried.
Without comment, Maia stepped forward and helped me. It was humiliating to need someone to help me with something like that. Maia must have understood my embarrassment because she stepped out to give me a little privacy. "Call me when you're finished, ok?"
"Thanks," I said humbly.
I wanted revenge so badly I could taste it. Gideon Leonhart was going to pay, and he was going to pay dearly.
When I'd finished, they put me back to bed and insisted I get some rest. Gabriel tried to get me to swallow another tablet of morphine, but I refused. I wanted my wits about me. Funny thing was, I couldn't sleep anymore if I tried. Thoughts of home kept me awake. I didn't want to be in a coma when we arrived, and I didn't want to be a mindless zombie when I spoke to my family.
Gabriel lay down beside me and propped his head up on his hand. "You sure you don't want to rest some more?"
"I'm sure."
"You know, I was really scared."
"Me too," I admitted. "Tell me what happened."
"Not much to tell. We took out most of Danau's troops, and then let the G-Army transport the missiles to another location. As far as we know, they're safe."
"How did you get Danau?"
"We hadn't planned on getting him. We thought he would have split, but the idiot returned to the scene of the crime and tried to go in by himself. We nabbed him and he told us that you were dead."
"Gonna take more than that to kill an Almasy," I said. "But, it's nice to know my friends are there when I need them."
He grinned. "Always."
"Just so you know, Leonhart, I got your back. If it were you, I would have come to get you too."
"I know," he said and gently squeezed my shoulder. "And Hyne help anyone that got in your way."
I laughed softly and rolled onto my back. "You know, Danau wanted
so badly to know who I worked for. If he'd been smart, he would have
checked for junctions. That would have been a dead give away, but
he didn't."
"Well, the guy isn't exactly playing with a full deck. He kept
babbling on about ruling the world, and how he was going to eliminate all
of SeeD once he was in charge."
"Still," I said. "He wasn't stupid."
"I can't figure out how he knew you were a spy," Gabriel said. "Your cover was solid from what my dad said. There was no way for him to know unless someone leaked some information."
"I don't know either," I lied. How could I tell him about Gideon? Maybe it was better that he didn't know, that no one know, really. It would break everyone's heart to know the truth, especially Gabriel's.
"Ah, well. It doesn't matter, I guess. It's over and done with now."
"Over and done with," I agreed.
"Attention all passengers. We are now approaching our final destination, Balamb. Please remove all personal items and proceed with caution to the exit."
"We're home," Gabriel said and sat up.
"Home," I breathed. The word never sounded so sweet to me, and never had I been so happy to return to the place where I grew up. Maybe I appreciated it more after what I'd been through. After all, I had come very close to never seeing it again, and it was the only place I wanted to be.
I wasn't prepared for the crowd that had gathered to greet me at the station. Gabriel had insisted on carrying me after I nearly fell on my face getting out of bed. I didn't like the idea, but I didn't have a choice. I was in his arms as he stepped off the train, and the crowd gathered around me. Everyone was there, you and mom, Squall and Rinoa Leonhart, and all my friends. I was embarrassed to be seen like this. I hated the idea of looking so helpless in front of them, but I was in no position to do for myself.
Mom's reaction was what I'd expected. She burst into tears at the mere sight of me. "Micala, thank Hyne' you're all right. Look at you!" she cried. "Look what he did to you!"
"Hi mom," I said I kissed her on the cheek.
And you daddy. I don't think I had ever seen you look so upset.
I remember how I finally broke down as you swept me up into your arms.
You hadn't done that in years, but it was comforting, and it was exactly
what I needed. "I'm so proud of you baby," you whispered in my ear.
"We all thought . . ."
"I know," I said. "I'm alive, and I want to go home."
****
Danau had broken nearly every bone in both of my hands and both of my wrists were fractured. The spikes he'd driven through my palms had severed a total of four tendons and I needed surgery to repair them, though Dr. Skyzauski said that surgery wouldn't guarantee that I'd ever regain total use of my hands since treatment of my injuries had been delayed. I had also sustained a skull fracture and a rather bad concussion from the hammer.
"But, all in all, I'd say you are in good health," Dr. Skyzauski said. "Weak, but in good health nonetheless."
"Your orders, doc?" I asked.
"Two weeks bed rest. I'll schedule the surgery for next Tuesday."
"Two weeks?" I cried. "What am I going to do for two weeks?"
"You can start by getting some rest. You've been through a lot in the last few days, and you won't heal without it."
"I'll go crazy, I swear," I complained.
"I'm sure you'll be fine. And don't you dare let me catch you in the training center, young lady, and don't you even look at your gunblade until I say so."
I sighed and looked at the casts on my hands and wrists. "Yes ma'am." I was pissed, but what could I do? I could barely feed myself or brush my own teeth, so I knew training was out of the question until I was able to eat my meals with a fork instead of sucking them through a straw. Reluctantly, I got up and accepted the bottle of pain medication she handed me.
Darvocet. Oh boy. Like I was going to sit around in a drug induced fog for the next two weeks. Right.
At the front gate, I met up with Gabriel, who offered me a ride home. "You feeling better?" he asked as we walked to his car.
"Not bad, but I'll feel better when I can use my freaking hands again."
He glanced at the bandages and shook his head. "It must suck."
"You have no idea," I said testily.
"By the way, they're going to start interrogating Danau tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?" I asked. "Why didn't Squall tell me?"
"Guess he thought you needed the rest."
"If I rest any more, I'll be in a coma," I said. "I want in on that. There are things I want to know."
"I don't know if dad'll let you."
"He'll let me. It was my case. I know more than anyone about what Danau did and what he had planned."
Gabriel sighed. "You have a point."
"Is Squall in his office?" I asked.
"I'm pretty sure he is," he said and sighed. "Are you sure you want to do this?"
"Positive." I wanted to know who it was that ratted me out, for sure. If it wasn't Gideon, which I was sure it was, then I had a whole other set of problems to deal with.
He followed me to the Commander's office, where I walked in without knocking. I didn't care if I was reprimanded or not, I just barged on in as if I had the right. Which I did. Squall looked up from his paperwork and looked faintly annoyed. "What is it, Micala?"
"I've just been informed that you plan to interrogate Danau tomorrow. With your permission, sir, I'd like to be a part of that."
"Micala, you are supposed to be resting."
"I understand that sir, but I'm feeling much better, and I think I can handle it."
"I don't think so, Micala. It's not your job."
"With all due respect, sir, I spent nearly a year on this case, away from my family. I was the one who put in the leg work, the one who almost died for this case. I am this case. I deserve to be a part of it."
Squall sighed and rubbed his eyes. "I think you're pissed at Danau and want revenge."
"No, sir. I want some answers. I want to finish what I started.
That's all I ask."
He looked at me with his cold blue eyes that I could never quite read
and took a deep breath. "all right. But, you will not assault
him in any way. That may have been his idea of how interrogation
works, but it isn't acceptable here."
"I understand sir, but I'll tell you, I plan to scare the shit out of him."
"That's fine. But don't over do it. You're still healing, and by all rights, you should be in bed right now."
"I wish everyone would stop worrying about me. I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself."
His face softened a little and he gave me the strangest grin I've ever seen. "Yeah, well, those are famous last words."
Gabriel rolled his eyes and chuckled. "Don't start, dad."
"Get out of my office, both of you" Squall commanded. "I've got work to do."
Gabriel drove me home, and we talked on the way. I forgot how much I'd missed his company. We had been friends for years, and he was easy to talk to. Delcie Kinneas had been my best childhood friend, but when we hit puberty, we started to grow apart. She became interested in make up and boys, and I was pretty much bent on being a warrior. I guess I could say that Gabriel was the closest friend I had.
"What's bugging you, Micala?" he asked.
"Why do you think something's bugging me?" I asked. Gabe has always been able to tell when I'm upset about something. He says he can read me like a book and he's right. I was thinking of Gideon at that moment, but I wasn't going to talk about that, so I lied.
"You've got that look."
"Just thinking about tomorrow."
"You worried?"
"Naw. Just thinking about what I'm going to say."
"Oh, I'm sure you'll think of something."
"There are a million things I want to say, but I'm having trouble trying to sort it all out in my head, you know?"
He smiled. "I feel that way too sometimes. Especially when I'm with you."
I threw him an odd look. "What do you mean?"
"It's nothing."
"No. You can't say something like that and not follow through. What are you talking about?"
He groaned and pulled the car off the road and switched off the engine. "Now's as good a time as any to tell you, I guess, though I hadn't quite imagined doing it like this."
"Spit it out already," I taunted.
He rubbed his chin and stared out through the windshield. "Don't be a bitch."
"Can't help it. It's in my nature."
He laughed and fiddled with the steering wheel.
"For Hyne's sake, Gabriel, what is it? You dying or something?"
"No, I'm not dying," he said. "You know, you're making this hard. Now I don't want to tell you."
"You're the one who brought it up," I reminded him gently.
"All right," he said and sat back in his seat, his eyes glued to the windshield. "You remember that night, not too long ago when I kissed you?"
I blushed at the memory. "Yeah."
"I . . . did it because I've had this crush on you since we were kids. When I said you shouldn't be afraid to love someone other than Gideon, I meant me."
I stared at him. I guess I hadn't expected him to say it out loud. I'd long suspected he had feelings for me, but he'd never acted on them, other than that night on the beach, and I'd figured he'd eventually meet a girl and fall in love with her, feelings for me forgotten.
"Micala?"
"Hmm?"
"You're not going to say anything?"
"I don't know what to say."
"Anything. Tell me I'm an idiot. Laugh at me if you want, but don't sit there like a rock. I've just confessed one of my deepest secrets to you, so I expect something other than a blank stare."
"You're not an idiot, it's just . . ."
"Gideon, right?"
I shook my head and looked out the window. "No, it's not Gideon. I'm over him. Trust me."
"No you're not. I can see it in your eyes."
"Gabe," I said as calmly as I could as I looked him in the eyes. "If Gideon came back today, there would never be anything between he and I again. I can promise you that."
I could tell he believed me. Maybe it was the strength of my voice, the barely controlled anger. I still felt strongly about Gideon, but it wasn't love I felt for him anymore.
The thing is, love and hate are not opposites. On different ends of the emotional spectrum, of course, but they're both equally passionate in their manifestation. Hatred is as powerful as love. The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. Indifference renders the emotion dead, as there is no feeling in indifference. You either care or you don't. In both love and hate, you care, but for different reasons. When you're indifferent, you just plain don't give a damn.
You either care or you don't.
And I wished I didn't hate Gideon. I wished I didn't care. I wished I could tell Gabriel all that had happened, the whole of it. But it was something I kept to myself because I didn't want to kill the love Gabe had for his brother.
"Then what is it?" he asked.
"You're my friend, Gabe. Right now, I can't be more than that," I said. "I'm sorry."
What I didn't tell him, was that a little part of me felt the same way
he did.
***notes***
Lots of dialogue here. Up until this point, there hasn't been too much of that. Hope you enjoyed it.....
R/R. Please!