"Can't you give her an antidote?" I whispered to Gabriel.
He shook his head. "We've given her ten or twelve already. Whatever it was, it went to work fast, and the damage has already been done."
"Hyne," I whispered and choked back a sob. "Gabriel, where's Gideon?"
"I don't know. He left a little while after you attacked him."
Was this something that Gideon had done, or was it some kind of freak accident? I couldn't fathom him killing his own mother just to get to me. If it had been done on purpose, then Gideon Leonhart was even more psychotic than I'd ever imagined. I regretted not answering my phone, for if I had, maybe I'd have known what he was up to, and perhaps, I would have been able to stop it.
"Micala?" Rinoa's voice called out. It was a raspy, dry sound, and it must have taken most of her strength to utter my name loud enough for me to hear.
I went to her and knelt by the bed. "I'm here," I whispered and smoothed back her hair. Her skin had taken on a transparent look, and I could see bluish veins beneath. "I'm here."
"There's something I want to tell you, Micala, but everyone has to leave us alone for a moment."
I looked up at Squall, and he shook his head. "I'm not leaving you."
"Squall, go," she whispered. "I don't have much time left. Please."
Maybe because it was her dying wish, he nodded and stood up, though his reluctance showed in his hesitation as he turned away. Gabriel too, turned away and followed his father out.
"Go ahead," I said and gently squeezed her hand.
"I am a sorceress," she began. "I must pass on my powers before I can die in peace. I've hung on this long so that I might pass them on to you. If you want them, that is."
"Why me?"
She sighed, and there was a distinct rattle in her chest. "Because you are strong, Micala, and I know what's going on. I figured it out. I know what you're dealing with, and I know the road ahead of you will be hard. You asked me yesterday, about Gideon. I lied to you."
"I don't understand," I whispered, holding back the sobs.
"You will. Once you receive my powers, you'll know everything. You will see Gideon for what he really is. You will see what I hid from everyone else since he was a child. My memories will be yours. You'll know, Micala, and you will have the strength to defeat him."
My lip trembled and I took her other hand. "I don't think I'm worthy."
"You're more worthy than my own daughter," she said. "And I understand, you'll soon be my daughter in law. It's a shame I won't be able to help out with the wedding."
The damn broke then, and I sobbed into her icy cold hands. "Did he do this to you?"
"Yes. My own son did this to me."
"I'm so sorry. It's me he's angry at, not you. This shouldn't have happened."
"Gideon's angry at everyone. He hates the whole world."
Rinoa's body began to convulse then, and a light tingling began in my
fingertips. Then, the sensation traveled up through my arm, spread
through my chest and to every part of my body. I looked down at her,
as she gasped in desperation to hold on, and felt something akin to the
heat of electricity course through me. My heart pounded in my chest,
and as I held her hand, I saw what she saw. I saw the end of this
life and what lay in store for us after our passing. Not the lovely
white light, as those who've had near death experiences have described,
but a world of color filled with the sound of tinkling glass. It
was a world of shattered mirrors, peach colored smoke, and an infinite
sky of stars above. Words can't accurately describe it, and I won't
try because I wouldn't be able to do it justice, but I will say, it filled
me with a profound sense of peace. I was relieved to know where she
was going once her soul left her body, and I was happy that it was to a
good place.
Only time will tell where I might end up.
"One thing," she said breathily. "Squall doesn't have to know about Gideon. I did my best to hide the truth from him, so please, don't tell him if you don't have to. It'll only break his heart."
"I won't tell him."
"Take care of my boy, Micala," Rinoa breathed as her eyes turned to me. I wasn't sure if she meant Gabriel, or Gideon. "And don't be afraid to use my gift."
"Rinoa," I said as the tears streamed down my face, hot like acid against my cheeks. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be. Are you ready?"
"Yes," I whispered and closed my eyes. Her hands gripped mine, and the former tingle became a violent electrical buzz that made my teeth knock together and the hair on my arms stand on end. A violent shock jolted me suddenly, it felt as if I had been struck by a powerful bolt of lightning. I trembled and held tight to her hands, feeling her life slip away as her powers transferred from her body to mine. There was a curious pressure in my head and a devastating tremor ripped through me, and then, my entire body went slack.
I saw it then. Hyne's memories, and those of a thousand sorceresses before me. Every memory Rinoa possessed, I saw every one of them as they filled my mind, in rapid succession. It was as if someone had recorded her entire life on tape and was rapidly forwarding me through it. The car accident when she was five. The one she lived through, but had claimed her mother. Her first memory, her mother's bloodied face. The loneliness of her father being gone so much. Boarding school. Dance lessons. Her first period. Her first boyfriend. I saw her pack her bags and leave in the night, bound for Timber. My father as a young man. Their first kiss. His ring around her neck. A SeeD ball. Squall. Falling stars. Zone, Watts. Vinzer Deling. Galbadia. Edea, Adel, the Ragnarok, her first time, her fear at knowing she was a sorceress, my father's betrayal, time compression . . . . Ultimecia.
I wanted to scream out from being bombarded with so much so quickly, but I was frozen, paralyzed by her memories. I felt her first labor pains. Her relief as her infant boys were placed in her arms, one screaming, the other already fast asleep. A pair of toddlers in matching outfits. Maia's birth. The boys, pre-school age. Gideon with his hands around Gabriel's neck. Me with a toy gunblade, taking after Gideon for punching Gabriel. A mutilated cat, it's head severed by Gideon's gunblade. Gideon's defiant glare. The boys at twelve. Unexplained blood on Gideon's clothing. Gideon's hand raised to strike Rinoa, and the sting of the slap afterwards. His hateful words after his final SeeD exam. Maia's graduation. Gabriel's kind eyes, his reassuring smile. A butterfly knife against Gideon's throat. A terrible calm. A tumbler full of tonic water.
It was all mine now, these memories. I knew everything there was to know about Rinoa, and about Gideon. Gideon had always been disturbed, and Rinoa had hidden it from everyone. Why she had, I understood that, too. No mother wants to admit that there is something wrong with their child, especially when it is something of that magnitude. To admit her child was a born killer, was to admit to herself that she'd failed somehow, that something terrible had gone wrong, somewhere in his life and in his psyche. It was denial, plain and simple. Easier to hide than to deal with, I guess. It wasn't what I would have done, but then, I wasn't a mother, so things might have been different if I'd been in her shoes.
When I lifted my head, she was gone. Her brown eyes stared emptily up at the ceiling, and her hands were slack in mine. With a calm I didn't quite understand, I reached out and closed her eyes, straightened the bed cover and smoothed her hair against the pillow. "I'll end this. I promise you, I'll end it," I whispered and kissed her forehead.
After a moment, I went to the door and called out to Squall and Gabriel so that they might say good-bye.
"Is she . . .?" Squall asked.
I nodded. I'd thought earlier that Gideon had taken after him, had inherited a certain coldness from his father, and that was true, but I could see in Squall's eyes a lot of Gabriel too. He had loved Rinoa completely, and to lose her was to lose part of himself. Her memories told me more about Squall Leonhart than I cared to know, but I was now burdened with a detailed catalogue of what made my Commander tick. But I also knew there was more of him in Gabriel than there was in Gideon.
"No," he breathed as he went to the bed and scooped her up into his arms. Her body was limp, and her head fell back as he tried to pull her close. "Don't leave me, Rinoa, please don't go," he pleaded as he smothered her face in kisses and began to sob. It was a terrible thing to watch, both tender and pathetic, and my heart ached for him.
Gabriel leaned heavily against the door frame and closed his eyes. He didn't want to see this any more than I did. I pulled him into my arms and let his tears soak the collar of my coat. I felt helpless to comfort him, unable to take away any of the hurt he felt, though I very much wanted to. The only way to help him, was to be strong, though I felt weak and powerless in the aftermath of another death.
"Hyne, please bring her back," Squall cried from the bed. I was almost certain that this loss would destroy him forever, as losing those he cared about had always been his greatest fear. He stroked her hair, kissed her lips, caressed her face, all in attempt to rouse her. His sorrow was more than I could bear, but perhaps there was something I could do to help, even if it was only a little.
I broke from Gabriel's embrace and approached slowly. My hand rested on his shoulder, and I reached out and turned his face towards mine. "She's gone, Squall," I said softly.
"I can't live without her," he choked out.
I sat on the bed beside him and took one of her hands in mine. It was already growing cold and the fingers were curled, claw like and felt like wax. "Before she died, she gave me something," I said and cupped Squall's chin lightly. "She gave me her memories and her power. She left part of herself with me, so for as long as I live, she will always be here. She'll always be around if you need her."
Squall sucked in his breath and caught my hand in his. His eyes searched my face for a moment, and then he broke down again.
"Squall, there's something she wanted me to do, since she wasn't able to," I whispered and I leaned forward and placed my lips upon his. He was surprised at first, but didn't pull away from me as I'd expected. Instead, he wrapped one arm around me and clutched Rinoa's limp body in the other as his lips responded to mine. It was a tender, sweet kiss, and so very much like Gabriel's, but there was nothing sexual about it.
It seems weird now, to be kissing my fiancee's father only minutes after his wife's death, but at the time, it was the right thing to do. It gave him a chance to say good-bye, even if it wasn't Rinoa who'd delivered it, nor had it been her idea, and it gave him a little bit of closure.
It must have upset Gabriel, though, because he turned and stormed from the room as soon as I pulled away. Squall sighed and closed his eyes. "Thanks," he said. He seemed calmer, less ravaged by grief.
I let him go and stood up. "Should I call the doctor now?" I asked as gently as I could.
"Just give me a little longer," he said as he stared down at Rinoa's pale, cyanotic face.
"I'll be around if you need me," I said. "If you need anything, just let me know."
Squall looked up at me with his shattered blue eyes. "You have her memories?"
I nodded. "Every one of them."
He blushed and looked down at Rinoa again, embarrassed. I'd never seen him blush before, and it would have been amusing in a different situation. "Take good care of them, Micala," he said.
"I promise," I replied and left him alone.
I found Gabriel on the back patio, of which overlooked the ocean and the
harbor below. The moon was on the horizon, slender and bright, but
Gabriel wasn't looking at it. He sat in a lounge chair with his head
against his knees and his arms around his legs. His body shook with
silent sobs of grief.
"Gabriel?" I called from the doorway.
He glanced up at me, then looked away. "Leave me alone."
"You're angry about what I did," I said and I took a seat next to him.
"I'm angry about everything!" he cried. "She wasn't supposed to die!"
I knelt beside him and embraced him, my head against his back. "No one was supposed to die, Gabe."
"Then why?" he sobbed into his knees. "Why?"
"I know why," I whispered back. I was going to tell him the truth. It was the worst of all possible times, but I had to tell him, now that I knew everything. "It was Gideon. Gideon did this. He killed Aida, and he killed your mother."
Gabriel shoved me away and glared at me with hateful eyes. "How can you say a thing like that?"
"Because it's true," I said simply and then, I told him the whole story.
****notes****
Yeah, I know. You Rinoa lovers hate me now. I'll probably get flamed for this....*L*
On an interesting side note, I just found a disk containing a really bizarre crossover I wrote while I was off line for so many months. Just imagine a FF8/Requiem for a Dream/'Othello' hybrid....too bad about that nc-17 rule (pure drugs, sex, and death).....*L* I don't think it would go over too well anyhow. It's a bit, um, odd.
blah blah blah, R/R, blah blah blah.....