Sorry for the slow and rather crappy update. Finals around the corner are scrambling my brains. Bear with me! Anyhow, here comes the newest development. Have fun!
Chapter 4-- Hatred be mine
It was morning.
Nabiki lay in bed, without opening her eyes. The sun, just beginning to rise, would slip through the slats of her window blinds in another half hour, signaling her wakeup call. She lay perfectly still and tried to settle back into the dream.
Why had this come back now? Why had her most bitter memories decided to show up at the time when she least needed them to? It was a hideous coincidence and irony that she should dream of her mother's death just a few days before the anniversary. And that Kuno should be involved both in her life and in her dream/memory right now… kami.
It was the curse of her existence, a horrible incongruity that had demanded her to take sides between the people dearest to her.
Groaning, she swung out of bed and padded over to her desk. There was, among the neatly sorted papers in her file cabinet, a thin blue folder marked "Canadian Finances—'84". She flipped it open, and a single newspaper clipping fluttered out. It was yellow and brittle with age, and Nabiki carefully picked it up with two slender fingers.
"TRAGIC ACCIDENT IN NERIMA" the headlines read. "MOTHER OF THREE RUN OVER BY ACKNOWLEDGED LUNATIC. Three sisters, the eldest no more than eight, were left motherless last Saturday afternoon, due to a fatal automobile accident. The driver, a lady from a prominent family in Nerima, had been suffering from a mental disorder for many years. She had apparently not been regularly taking her medication, and somehow got hold of a vehicle. Needless to say, she was not in the proper condition to be behind the wheel. Several witnesses recalled a black sports car weaving dangerously in and out of traffic at high speed earlier that afternoon. Both women were killed, both leaving behind a family with young children. The driver's doctor at the General Hospital claim that no blame…" Nabiki stopped reading. The rest of the article was a mumble-jumble of bad reporting, wandering off onto tangents and elaboration of topics that were better remained unsaid. It still burned her, how the newspaper could not even find a decent journalist to come up with a coherent report of an event that had changed so many lives. As soon as she had had the resources and ability, she'd given them financial hell, Nabiki-style.
She gently placed the article back in the folder. For a moment, she let her fingers trace the edges of a thin stack of photographs tucked in a white envelope. And then she closed the folder, set it back in its place, and locked the file cabinet.
The sun still hadn't risen but Nabiki couldn't sleep anymore. She grabbed her towel and headed for the bathroom.
In the tub, Nabiki dabbled her fingers on the water's surface, and created small waves with flicks of her hand. Tendrils of steam rising from the water turned into a hazy mist. Countless thoughts rolled through her mind, and she sank lower and lower into the steaming bath.
"Hey, how much longer is it gonna take you?" A loud voice interrupted her reverie. "People hafta use the bathroom too y'know!" It was Ranma, fresh from his morning workout. Nabiki sat up with a jolt. What time was it? How long had she been in the tub? The sun shining through the fogged window told her that it had been much longer than she had intended. She slid out, quickly dried, and wrapped her robe around herself. She padded over to the door.
"Jeez, what is this, a new sauna… Nabiki! Hi! Uhh…" Ranma fidgeted, trying not to look at the damp, irritated looking girl in front of him. Nabiki's short brown hair was limp, falling around her forehead in clumps, and the look she was giving him was definitely not benign. "Ehh…" He stuttered.
"All right, Ranma, I'm out. Happy?" She studied him from underneath half-closed eyelids. "Of course, your joy isn't going to last long, considering how you so rudely interrupted my bath…" she paused dramatically to let the words sink in. Ranma squirmed. He'd thought that it was Akane in the bathroom; Nabiki usually slept later than this. Kami, he didn't HAVE anymore money left!
His fiancé's older sister smirked at him. "Oh Ranma, you'll never learn." What? She walked out and started down the hallway to her room. Was he safe? "I have a friend who would absolutely LOVE to see a movie with you… 6:45 tonight Ranma. I'll expect to hear all about your date with Roko Kimitchi tomorrow. She's the upperclassman with a long braid and regrettably large nose. She doesn't get out much, so she'll be so excited when I tell her you're going to take her out tonight—I hope you won't disappoint her." Nabiki threw a predatory grin over her shoulder, and breezed into her room. Ranma sweat dropped. Sold out again!
*
It was lunchtime, and Nabiki was feeling pretty good. She'd gotten a hefty "thank-you" compensation from Roko Kimitchi half an hour earlier, and the betting pool was going better than usual— gorgeous martial artists from out of town always attracted a sizeable crowd. Today's challenger was a sturdy, rugged adolescent with a blow dryer and a belligerent loathing for (guess who?) Ranma. Somehow, Shampoo and Cologne had appeared out of nowhere, recognized the newcomer, and decided to help Ranma in kicking his ass. (Something about feuding clans in the Amazon—Nabiki hadn't quite gotten the full story yet).
But a large audience in the field meant little company for Nabiki, who was (just a little) sick and tired of all the childish scuffles that went on every day. So she checked the grass in the shade for leftover dew, found none, and settled herself down on the lawn to review her notes from English class. She opened a bag of crackers and began to read about grammar.
Between prepositions and interjections, she realized that she wasn't thinking about sentence structure at all. She was thinking about Kuno.
*
How are you supposed to feel when your best friend's mother kills yours?
How are you supposed to feel when your mother has killed the your best friend's mom?
*
"Nabiki Tendo! I would speak with you!" A booming voice interrupted her thoughts.
"Over here, Kuno-baby," she called, absently waving in his direction. She pretended to study the page in front of her.
"I must get this to my beloved pigtailed girl! You are the only one who can help me… for a fee… I know… but the money I pay is towards a cause of the heart! How touched she will be when she understands the depths of my love (and piggy-bank)! She will only b…" He ranted on, gesticulating wildly.
Nabiki studied him. In the sunlight, he almost seemed to be glowing. His disheveled hair and dark, compelling eyes hadn't changed since ten years ago; only Nabiki's appreciation had. As she watched him wave a revoltingly large Hello Kitty around, she conceded that he probably could catch her too, if she fell out of a tree again.
"…flaming hair and eyes pierce my soul daily!" He ended his monologue, and eyed her warily. "You are quiet this afternoon. Are you refusing to do as I request?"
Nabiki considered him as she nibbled a cracker. But he was so different now, so unlike his seven year old self. Either her recently resurfaced memory was wrong, or he had drastically changed for the worse. And she hadn't cared.
Kuno was at a loss. He had presented his argument persuasively, threatened and bribed her, but she still refused to answer. Actually, it seemed like she hadn't been paying attention at all.
"What're you paying?"
The abruptness of her response startled him a little, but he regained his bearing and answered with dignity, "the usual, Nabiki Tendo, 10,000. And don't try to get any more like you always do?"
"You mean in yen?"
"Of course, woman! What else, walnuts?"
"I dunno, Kuno, seems like nowadays, yen isn't what it used to be."
Kuno blinked. Huh? What did she say that for?
Nabiki mentally slapped herself. What did she say that for? "Never mind, 11,000 is fine."
Good, she's back to normal now, Kuno thought. For a moment I thought there she was a little scary. "11,000??? I thought we agreed on 10,000. What do you take me for??"
"We never agreed on anything, dearest. Pay attention. Now pay me my 12,000."
He sighed. "Your prices are exorbitant. But my red-headed angel must have this gift." He pulled out his wallet, and forked over the money.
"Thanks, Kuno-baby." Nabiki quipped. "Great doing business with you."
"Humph."
"C'mon, get over it. I do this to you everyday" she said airily, in response to his disgruntled look. "See ya later!" She hopped up, gathered her things, and bounced off, her good mood doubled since the beginning of lunch.
*
"Knock, knock, can I come in?" Akane slipped into the room, clutching P-chan.
Nabiki, slouched on her bed, didn't look up from her manga. "Sure. Make it snappy."
Akane closed the door behind her. "Um, I just wanted to talk to you for a bit, if you have time."
Nabiki glanced up. She saw the serious expression on her little sister's face, and closed the book. "Lose the pig."
Door open, P-chan out, door close, and quicker than thought Akane was sitting on the bed with Nabiki.
"Keep that up and you'll be snatching chestnuts out of Ranma's hands in no time."
Akane giggled. "Oh quiet." Then she sobered again. "Well… I… um… see…"
Nabiki sighed. Why couldn't people just get down to business? She hopped up and went to the closet. "Ok, which jacket do you want back now?" When Akane didn't reply, she got a little impatient. "Five minutes, darling sister, and then I'm back to Lum and Ataru and you're out the door with the pig."
"Nabiki" Akane blurted. "It's coming up."
Nabiki didn't need to ask to know what "it" was. "I know."
"It's been ten years, oneechan. Ten years."
Nabiki sighed. "So I've heard. What's your point?" Normally she was gentle with Akane on this, but right now she didn't need anymore aggravation on the subject. "It's not like I've forgotten or anything, if that's what you were worried about."
Akane whispered, "I thought you might have."
"And why is that?" Nabiki asked her sharply.
"Kuno's been over three nights in a row now…"
The whole thing was getting ridiculous. What was Akane trying to get at? "Oh my God! How is that possible? Not because we have to do a school project together!" Nabiki said, sarcasm dripping. "Big deal, Akane."
Her little sister seemed to flare a little. "And since when do you invite project partners over for dinner three nights in a row?"
Nabiki tried to regain some of the ground she had lost. "So?"
"So maybe you're sweet on him, disgusting as the thought may be."
Good grief. How did people, especially Akane, get these ideas into their heads? Nabiki decided not even to grace the absurd notion with an answer. "And would you have a problem with that?"
"HIS MOM RAN OVER OUR MOTHER, A FACT YOU MUST HAVE FORGOTTEN!" Akane screamed. All pretenses of control were gone. "Nabiki, how can you forgive him for that? How can you talk to him every day without seeing his hands dripping with our mother's blood?"
It was amazing how clearly Akane could summarize Nabiki's inner turmoil without even realizing it. Struggling to keep calm, she ground out, "What do you take me for? Of course I haven't forgotten. But how can YOU still blame him for this? It's not his fault… it's not even his mom's fault… she was crazy… she didn't do it on purpose… you can't hold him accountable for his mother's doing. And it was ten years ago!"
"So!" Akane yelled. "That makes everything ok! That makes everything fine and dandy! Just because it was your precious Tate who was involved means that everything is absolved. Finished. We should just forget that the whole thing ever happened. But let's get something straight here. I miss my mother!"
"What, you think I don't miss her? You think I don't care?" Nabiki could barely suppress her screams. "I miss her too!"
"Obviously not more than you care for Kuno! You just threw her away!"
"How dare you." Nabiki spat each word out, every atom she had ever used for intimidation, anger, frustration, sorrow, manipulation, shoving the phrase at Akane, choking on her own emotion. "How dare you accuse me of throwing her away? How dare you accuse me of putting Kuno over her? How dare you tell me what to think, how to feel? How dare you?"
Akane burst into tears. "You prom… you promised… we promised each other!! You promised!! That we would avenge mama, that we would make them all pay! You said we would hate Kuno forever… you told me that! You told me it was Kuno's fault! So how dare YOU tell me otherwise, ten years later, when I've spent more than half my life hating!"
Tears streamed out of her eyes, and she turned her back on the other girl. She whispered, her words quavering, "Nabiki, we haven't even hated very well. Yeah, I beat him up, you take his money away… so what? So what Nabiki? We haven't made him pay, we haven't. Ten years, and it's still there."
Suddenly, all the fight drained out of Nabiki. "Akane… no, you're wrong. We have made him pay. For ten years, he hasn't had any friends. He's a social outcast. He's king of the anthill that everyone pees on. He's wrapped in his own world with his own fantasies. He's not stupid; you think he can't see that? You think he doesn't know that, every day, he's wallowing in his loneliness? I spread the rumors, you lead him on and reject him, and Kasumi tortures him wit a motherly kindness he will never know again, and reminds him every second he's here that his mother took away ours." She closed her eyes. "Akane… we haven't seen it before, but hasn't he suffered enough?
"I… we… turned him away after we found out. Did we ever tell him we hated him? I can't remember. But he knows. He knows. He knew the second I started ignoring him."
Akane took Nabiki's hand. "Oh Biki. I don't know what to think. It's just that… I guess… with the anniversary so close an all, I'm sort of on the edge. I haven't consciously thought about this until now." She snuffled. "It's so hard, and I miss her so much…"
Nabiki grinned. "I think we've already established that." Akane giggled hesitantly. "Yeah. I understand." She frowned. "But I'm not sweet on Kuno—even despite… everything… he's still an idiot."
"Ok." Akane stood up and went to the door. When she touched the doorknob, she hesitated and turned around. "I can't stop hating him, Biki…" (I know…) "… but I'll try and… understand… I guess…"
"Yeah, me too. G'night, 'Kane." Nabiki smiled quietly at her.
"And at least I have Ranma to talk to. And Kasumi has Dr. Tofu. And after this talk you'll probably have Kuno…"
"Good night Akane."
"He he." She closed the door behind her.
Nabiki stared at the closed door for the longest time. She waited for tears to fall, but her eyes were empty, like they had been for the past ten years. While she got ready for bed, she asked herself,
Despite what I told Akane, am I ready to understand?
The closed door did not reply.
To be continued…