This chapter depicts violence and discussion of rape and past violence if this offends you please skip this chapter.
. "How old are ya?" Mark asked figuring maybe it would get her started. He saw the cigarette glow bright as she took a draw. "I'm 18." Jessie said. "Well I guess I should start at the beginning." Jessie said.
I was born in Bluefield on the poor side of town. Don't know who my daddy was. My mama probably don't know either. She was a drug addict ever since I can remember. It wasn't such a great life, but I've come to realize it wasn't the worst it could have been either. I decided early on I wasn't going to follow her path. She sold her body for drugs had different men over every night everything was about getting a fix. I did okay I guess managed to get myself to school every day. I was going to go in the army ya know get them to pay for my college. I wanted out of here bad.
Mark watched her as she talked. It stuck him that there was no emotion in her voice like she was talking about someone else.
It was all going okay up until I turned 14. I mean my mama beat me a lot but I could deal with that ya know. That wasn't nothing. That all changed the day Davie came by to see my mama with some drugs. His carrier had got busted and he brought them down to mama. She was a good customer. He happened to see me coming in from school and asked Mama who I was. I imagine she was tickled. Her supplier was interested in me that had to be good for some free drugs somewhere down the road. When Mama told him about me he came right up to me. He said "You look like an angel. You're going to be mine." Well I made a big mistake. I was still full of my own morals back then. I thought I was better than him and my mama. I slapped him and told him he would never have me.
Mark watched as Jessie lit another cigarette. She was laughing. "What a stupid little idiot I was." Jessie said.
Davie looked at me and just smiled and left. My mama beat the hell out of me for that but I didn't care. Well as it always happens my mama fell on hard times no money for drugs. That's what Davie was waiting for. He came down to the apartment. He gave Mama 1000 dollars in cash for me. She sold me like I was a dog or something. Oh I kicked and screamed and fought but Davie was bigger than me I was always small for my age. I think that's the main reason Davie wanted me to be one of his carriers. He carried me out of there that day to a life of pure hell.
"That's illegal you can't just buy and sell people." Mark said. Jessie gave a harsh laugh. "Well Mr. High and Mighty I got news for you it goes on everyday. Illegal it may be but kids are bought and sold on the street everyday." Jessie said. Mark felt sick to his stomach to think this kind of crap went on.
Anyway Davie had to break me in the hard way. I was still a virgin and I was too proud. I was still resistant. He couldn't put up with that.
"What does that mean?" Mark asked.
Well if ya get a kid who's already had sex it aint to hard to break there will make them belong to you. But ya take a virgin it's a whole different story. The whole mindset is different. The first thing Davie did when he got me to his place was rip my clothes off and rape me. I don't mean we made love or what ever. I mean he raped me. I fought and screamed and cried but it didn't do no good. Davie said it took longer to break me than he ever seen it take anybody. He said most of the time it takes a week tops. He raped me several times a day for almost a month. I always fought it fought him. That didn't do nothing but get me a beating on top of the rape. That last night he came in there Jessica was dead and Jessie was born. I spread my legs like a good bitch and just let him take it. I didn't care anymore. I couldn't fight anymore. Davie never let no one else touch me. The good think was after he had me broken he didn't fool with me much anymore. He had other things in mind for me. The next day he taught me all about being a carrier. I was good at it he liked that. That was my main purpose to him. Like I said he didn't mess with me much anymore. Once in a while just to make sure I was in line he would fuck me or make me do…other things. But for the most part he left me alone. He did like to beat me he never needed a reason. He liked to see me cry and scream so I learned to ruin that for him too. I wouldn't scream or cry and after a while he would get pissed and just leave ma alone. Then tonight he beat me the worst he ever had. I was unconscious for a while. When I woke up he was passed out. I knew eventually he was going to end up killing me so I ran. Davie is the big time in Bluefield. I don't know if he will come after me or not. He's sees me as his property so he might I don't know. What ever ya want to think about me that's up to you. But I aint no whore. I didn't have a choice about the things I had to do.
Mark had tears in his eyes. Here he was wallowing in self pity about little problems and this kid had lived in hell. He watched as she stubbed out her cigarette. "You sound like you are talking about someone else." Mark said at last. "Your wondering why I don't break down and cry over all this shit?" Jessie said. "Well Mark I tell ya there's something inside me broken. I don't think it can be fixed. I don't work right no more. I don't think I could cry if I wanted too. I don't know how anymore." Jessie said. He watched as she turned over and went to sleep. Mark rolled over on his back and wondered what the hell he was going to do with her tomorrow.