Music Lessons
An Invader Zim Fanfiction by KidKourage
Part 1--MinuetI have a confession to make. I don't remember if I've ever mentioned a certain fact about myself within any of my stories, and I haven't the ambition to go and look. So I will simply reveal my little secret to you all right out. Ahem. I am a pianist. Stop that snickering—I know it's a funny word! Heheh…pianist…O.O Okay, that said, let's make things more complicated as I tell you of my illustrious career as a musician. I have been a—heh—pianist since I was seven years old and in second grade. I was informed by my grandfather that I had 'a gift' because I could bang out 'I'm A Little Teapot' on a Casio keyboard. Eleven years later, I was banging out 'Pictures At An Exhibition' and about to go away to college. I was forced to quit lessons, but—as you are about to see—I have never lost touch with my musical side. As I may have pointed out at random times, I need music to survive as others need food; music is my life-force. If anyone ever wanted to kill me, they would only have to lock me in a room without sound. After a while, I would run out of songs to hum in my head, and I would die. Isn't that neat? ^_^ Cower, Earth—a pianist is about to be born! *snicker* Pianist…
The scene is KidK's livingroom! It's a weekday, but our heroine is at home—because it's summer! Whoooooo! Summer! Do the 'it's summer' dance! However, though it is summer for KidK, it is not yet summer for the other skool-going members of her household. And her Dad never has summer anymore on account of he is a grownup and has a job and has to deal with having a limited number of vacation days. And her Mom…well, Mom doesn't even have any vacation days, even when her family is on vacation. She's the ultimate full-timer. Why am I bringing the story down? Let's be happy! KidK is off, and so are her sister and boyfriend! And now, KidK is about to do something to entertain her two little friends that she hasn't been able to do since skool began. What is it? Well…
Gir (doing happy cartwheels): Missy gonna play pee-nanner! Missy gonna play pee-nanner! (he stops his gymnastics and starts 'raising the roof') Go Missy! Go Missy! It's yer birthday! It's yer birthday!
Sammi (chasing Gir): *bark bark!* (she jumps on Gir, knocking him over in a shower of kisses—she's bigger now ^_^)
Gir: Eeeeeeeee! Kissy kissy pee-nanner!
KidK (staring): o.ô Ummmmmm…Gir?
Gir: Yeeeeeees?
KidK: I can't play piano unless you are very quiet, okay? I have to concentrate. And, anyway, if you're talking you won't hear the songs. (she smiles like a nice preskool teacher) Okee?
Gir: Okee! I'm bein' quiet real good! Pee-nanner!
Sammi: *yip?*
Gir (grabbing hold of Sammi): No, no, sis, we gotta shhhhhh.
KidK (rummaging around in her piano bench): What should I do…huh, haven't played for a while, so better not start with any Mussorgsky…ah, well…Sonatas? (she starts flipping through a fat yellow book) I think there was a Beethoven in here that was easy…oh, here—duh—'Two Easy Sonatas.' Okay, let's do that then. (she turns to Gir) That sound good to you?
Gir: I have no idea whatcher talkin' about! Yay!
Sammi: *bark!* (translation: Food? Is it food yet? Or…walk? It's walk!) *bark bark bark!*
KidK: Okay, okay, that's what I'll play first. (she gets up off the floor and slides onto the bench) How 'bout you guys come sit by the bench to hear better. And that way, Gir, you can hold Sam's bone for her to chew so's she won't be insane an' noisy.
Gir: That's fun…come on, Sam-sam. (he squeeks over and sits next to Sammi's bed, which is indeed by the bench) I got your boney!
Sammi (following and flopping over across Gir's legs): Hffffff…
KidK (lifting her fingers to play): All set?
Gir: Roger that, cap'n!
KidK: *giggle* Okay…then here we go.
She takes a deep breath, and brings her hands down for the first—slightly startling and a bit loud—chord of the song. This is followed by a soft, short little phrase that takes everything up an octave to land at the next big chord. The theme continues with trills and triplets abounding, the notes ascending and descending through the middle reaches of the piano's range. This song, by the way, for any of you out there who may have an interest in classical music, is Opus 49, Number 2 of Beethoven's sonatas. It is, as its annotation in KidK's music book indicates, fairly 'easy,' and is also kind of cute-sounding. ^_^ It comes to a brief halt at the end of the second page ('system 12,' as my piano teacher would call it), but is far from over. With full-blown sonatas you have to expect sub-themes, relative minor key development-groups, and at least a few repetitions of the main theme. However, Gir doesn't know that.
Gir (jumping up and clapping): Yaaaaaaaay, Missy!
Sammi (who has been displaced by Gir's action): *yelp!*
KidK: ^_^* Aw, thanks guys…but that's not quite the end. It's just the end of the first part.
Gir: There's more? More prettyfulness?
KidK (laughing): Yes. Fifteen more systems, and that's just the allegro movement.
Sammi (rampaging around the room): *bark!* *yap yap yap*
KidK: I am so glad Mom's out shopping—she'd be mad if she thought I was riling the dog up with my music.
Gir: Sammi-sis just needs a cookie.
Sammi (ears perked at 'cookie'): *whine?*
Gir (singsong): Only if you're goooood…
Sammi: Hrrrm…(she pads over and sits down expectantly in front of Gir)
Gir: Now let's listen, cuz Missy's gonna make more happy sounds on da pee-nanner. (plopping down and waving up at KidK) Go for it, girl!
KidK: Huh. Sammi obeys Gir. Imagine that. (she shrugs) Oh, well, back to melody land…
She starts up the next series of notes, which begins with a rendition of the main G Major theme, only in a minor key that seems in alternate measures like either E or D. This eventually brings us back to the original key, and the song continues on its merry way through several scales and accented staccatos and—O.O I just realized something. I'm writing in jargon. Oops, got carried away. I apologize. I'll try to restrain myself from now on. That way people who've had no idea what I've been talking about will not run away screaming like people who get me talking about piano normally are forced to do. Okay, let's go. Um…yes, right. The first section of the sonata comes to a grand climax with two very 'final-sounding' chords, but KidK launches herself into the second movement without giving her audience a chance to register that there's been a change. She's lost in her own world by this point, and won't come back until the song's completely finished. This new part sounds like a minuet, a fact that is not lost on our robot pal.
Gir: Oooooo, dance music! C'mon, Sammi, let's waltz!
Sammi: *wag wag wag*
Gir takes hold of Sammi's forepaws and lifts her into a 'standing' position to dance with her. She hops back and forth, her tail vibrating like a motor. Awwwwww! By the time the sonata is over, Sammi is panting like crazy with the effort of staying on two legs so long, and Gir is singing the melody in his usual doomy way.
Gir: Doom doom doooooom! Doom doom doooooooom! Doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom dooooom doom! Aw, man, it's over? (he runs over to the bench and looks pleadingly up at KidK) More?
KidK: Um…I dunno…
Gir: Pleeeeeeeze?
KidK: Well…I'm just not sure if I should play anything harder…
Gir: How come?
KidK: Cuz…you're here…and I might…(she looks away, blushing a bit)…mess it up. Mistakes and all…I haven't practiced in so long, y'see.
Gir: Ah, zat's okee. We don't mind, do we sistah?
Sammi (collapsed in a furry heap): Huff…
Gir: See? Play cuz it's fun!
KidK: Well…okay. ^_^ (she points ceiling-ward) Scenes From Childhood, here I come! Yay for Schumann and his relatively easy book! (she gets up, locates the volume in her bench, and sits back down) Ya'll ready for some serious 'Of Strange Lands and People?'
Gir: Yeah yeah! Strange!
KidK: Then let's do this thang!
I love this song. So lovely and calming…hey! I know what you might know it from! Anyone remember that old movie 'Milo and Otis?' The one about the cat and dog duo who accidentally get swept downriver from their farm home and into an amazing and dangerous journey? 'Of Strange Lands and People' is used throughout that movie as background music, usually during more peaceful scenes involving sleep and suchlike. I liked the film when I was a little KidKourage, so though I didn't immediately recognize the song when I was first given it to play, it always felt familiar. If I've made anyone go off and tear apart their house looking for 'Milo and Otis,' I will now say sorry to their parents. Sorry.
KidK: *sigh* Why is it so short?
Gir: Again again! Lookit me! I'm a Telly-tubby! Again again!
KidK (absentmindedly picturing Gir as a Teletubby): Your name'd have to be Girry-furry or something…O.O………….moving right along. 'Reverie!' (she starts playing again)
Gir: Ooooo, softly…(whispering) Missy plays good, huh Sam?
Sammi: *snore*
Gir: Good idea. (he snuggles up with Sammi)
KidK (completing the song and turning around): How was th—eh? ^_^ Sleepy time, huh? Well…all the better…if no one can hear me it doesn't matter what I play…so where's that MacDowell?
Over the next hour or so, KidK plays her way through Edward MacDowell's Woodland Sketches, fouling up many of the notes and repeating songs several times to get them right. She's completely at ease, now, knowing that she has no audience to please but herself. Once through with MacDowell, she starts in on her favorite piano composer of all time—Mussorgsky. After a while of this, she's lapsed fully into music-mode, and thus doesn't even hear the garage door open—until it's too late.
Mike-the-Brother (getting out of the car downstairs): So then Magic Meatball goes (he imitates one of his teachers), 'And what are we supposed to do if we don't know the assignment?' And then I go, 'Well, we're supposed to be able to ask our teacher.' And he didn't even get that I was making fun of him!
KidK's Mom: Well, that's good. Don't want you getting in trouble on that lard-butt's account. (note: We did not like Magic Meatball, as is evidenced by the fact that his nickname was Magic Meatball. He was evil, and forced poor Mike to do—gasp!—group work)
Zim (slamming his car door): What are you talking about? I wish the Mike-thing would get detention, so he could leave me alone for once. (he begins removing his disguise as he continues) Of course, I also wish the Meat-teacher would be disintegrated, but that's no different than the fate I wish on the rest of—heh? (his antennae perk up and he cocks his head a bit) Hmm…KidK is unusually happy today. I wonder…what's that sound?
KidK's Mom (opening the door to the house): What's what sound—oh, that's just…O_o…………….
Zim: What, what?
KidK's Mom: She's actually…
Mike-the-Brother (starting up the stairs): She's just playing the piano. So what?
Zim (following): Piano…
Mike-the-Brother (stopping on the landing and whispering): Hey…if she hasn't heard us coming yet and stopped, she must be totally out-of-it. Whaddaya say we go up there and just be like, 'Hi!' real loud and scare her big time?
KidK's Mom: Thanks but no thanks. Just go about your business like you don't notice. You want her to get all embarrassed and defensive and nasty?
Mike-the-Brother: Aw, but it'd be so funny.
KidK's Mom: No. Go do your homework or I'll hide your GameBoy.
Mike-the-Brother: Again? Man… (he trudges the rest of the way up the stairs and makes a left to go down the hall to his room)
KidK's Mom (turning to Zim): That goes for you too. Do not say a word to her. She hasn't wanted to play in forever and I don't want her to get messed up and not want to play again for another forever.
Zim (staring off into space): …………………………
KidK's Mom: Got that? …are you listening?
Zim: Wonderful…..hm? Oh, no, I'm not stupid like Mike. (he makes shooing motions) You can go away. Don't worry, I won't disturb her.
KidK's Mom (skeptically): Okay…I'm going back outside to water the plants.
Zim (very distracted): Yes, yes, you do that.
Shaking her head, KidK's Mom heads back down the stairs and shuts the door behind her. Zim, meanwhile, continues to listen from the landing for a bit, then starts edging his way up the stairs very quietly. Upon reaching the top, he looks over into the livingroom to see his SIR and dog-minion sprawled out on the floor. This sight hardly registers, however, as he has focused complete attention on the music coming from the piano. Seeming almost hypnotized, Zim wanders over to stand next to the bench. KidK is also entranced, however, and doesn't even notice.
KidK (under her breath): Keep the rhythm…keep it steady…not too loud, now…stretch that…up we go…now…*sigh*………..
The melody, which seemed to be coming to a loud climax, goes soft at the last second, and there is a long pause as the chord hangs in the air. Then the final series of notes resumes, and gently makes its way into the highest octaves. The last chord sparkles almost tangibly, and as it fades KidK reaches with her left hand to press softly on a very deep bass-clef qualifying F sharp (this last note isn't in the original music—but it should be. *dies*). She exhales deeply, utterly at peace with the universe.
Zim (very quietly): What was that?
KidK (still mesmerized): 'Passionate Impromptu'…(she makes an important realization, and snaps her head around to stare at Zim) O.O………..oh my gods! Zim! What're you doing—(she looks up at the clock) Oh! Oh geez! How'd it get so late?! How come nobody told me you were home so I could…(she looks back over at Zim, blushing and furious) You're probably gonna make fun of me now, huh? 'Stupid KidK can't even tell time!' Huh?! 'It'd be one thing if she could actually play the piano, but--' ………………..how much did you hear? All those mistakes…you shouldn't sneak up on people like that, you know? (she starts to get up and retreat) I'm out of—what?
Zim (keeping her in place with a vice-grip on her arm): What's the matter with you, KidK? Have you gone insane? Why are you screaming?
KidK (trying to pull away and failing): Because you…heard…let go!
Zim: Then don't leave.
KidK (defiantly): I can if I want.
Zim: You have no reason to.
KidK: Uh, yeah I do. That was embarrassing!
Zim: Why?
KidK: Because…(she continues resignedly)…after all this time I'm not very good at piano anymore. There, I said it.
Zim: o_ô You are insane.
KidK (sarcastically): Gee, thanks. That makes me feel loads better. Now can you please let go of me so I can go do something else?
Zim (matter-of-fact): No. I need you here.
KidK: And why is that?
Zim (pointing with his free hand up at her music book): You have to play that song for me again.
KidK: O.o No I don't!
Zim: Yes you do. And then you have to show me how to play it myself.
KidK: What? Why?
Zim (shrugging): Because it's beautiful.
KidK: 'Beautiful?'
Zim: Perhaps the most beautiful music I've ever heard.
KidK: ………………..fine. I'll play it again.
Zim (releasing her): Good.
KidK: But only if you'll turn the page for me.
Zim: Whatever it takes. What do I do?
KidK (patting the bench next to her): Sit by me and hold the bottom corner of the right page, and when I nod just flip it over so I don't have to come to a crashing halt right in the middle of a phrase.
Zim (hopping up): Simple.
KidK: Oh, and I should warn you, since you're sitting there—don't freak if you have to lean back out of my way when I need to get to the higher notes. They don't coincide with the turning of the page, so it won't be a problem if you just pay attention to where my hands are.
Zim: Don't worry. If I'm to learn to work this thing, I will have to watch your every move carefully.
KidK: Hmmm…we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. (she turns to him) Now don't talk!
Zim: O.o I won't!
KidK: And don't bump me or stare at my face!
Zim: I wasn't going to!
KidK: And…forgive me for being completely bonkers about this. *sigh*
Zim: Think nothing of it. Think only of the music. (he fixes his gaze on the piano keys) Play.
KidK (glancing sidelong at him and thinking): 'Beautiful,' eh? I've had 'good technique' and 'fine grasp of tone' and even 'masterful interpretation,' but…'beautiful'…for you, Zim, I would play all day and night…
She smiles to herself and, after cracking all of her knuckles theatrically, extends her fingers out over the keys and begins the song. And now I will attempt to describe this piece of music. Modest Petrovich Mussorgsky's 'Passionate Impromptu' (subtitled 'Recollection of Beltov and Lyuba') is, indeed, one of the loveliest songs I have ever had the privilege to experience. As its title suggests, it is meant to evoke the image of a couple in love. Whenever I listen to it, this is what I hear: two young people, Beltov and Lyuba, dancing together at an elegant party—he is the strong, supporting bass clef and she the sweet, melodic treble. They are a bit hesitant at first, but as the music continues they become more and more in tune with each other, and fall ever deeper into the song. Just as they begin to get into it, however, their reverie is interrupted as someone else cuts in on their dance and sweeps Lyuba away—represented by the new minor-key bass and the more plaintive sound to the treble. Beltov follows his partner and her usurper across the floor and corners them. He asks to 'cut back in' (the reappearance of the major key bass), and is nearly refused by the stubborn second suitor (the repetition of his same phrase in minor key). It is Lyuba who makes the ultimate decision, however, pushing herself away from the other man and into Beltov's arms. Their dance resumes briefly, but they soon discover that the song is almost over. As the melody comes to its final climax, Beltov holds Lyuba close and—much to her surprise—tells her that he truly loves her. In the penultimate phrase (which involves crossing one's left hand over the right, by the way ^_^), she too confesses her love. The song ends as the two draw each other close for a sweet kiss, as signified by the final, crystal-clear chord. Wow. I just typed all that, huh? Did you all survive? Heh…yoooouuu neeeeed thiiiiis sooooong…then you can see your own head-pictures. ^.^ Meanwhile, back in the story, KidK hits that last bass note she added in herself, lets it mingle with the high chord for a moment, and then lifts her foot from the pedal and breaks the music's spell.
KidK (folding her hands in her lap): There. I did it. You can commence criticizing now.
Zim: If…if that is what you can do when you are (air quotes) 'out of practice,' as you say, then just imagine…(he grabs her arm excitedly) You could rule the world!
KidK (bemused): With piano?
Zim: With the hypnotic effects caused by piano.
KidK: The piano is not hypnotic. And before you say anything, neither am I. I have no magic powers, thank you, except perhaps the power to make a fool of myself for no reason.
Zim: But…your music…both times…I…o.o…it didn't hypnotize me, naturally. My superior senses protect me from such things. u.u But you seemed fairly caught up in it. And your mother was rather pleased to hear you play as well. Presumably other humans would be too.
KidK: But, see, even if I could play well enough to mesmerize people like you think I can, you can see how crazy I get when I have an audience.
Zim (offhandedly): So, then, you understand why you must teach me to operate the piano.
KidK: That was more than just a spur-of-the-moment notion?
Zim: Of course it was. You think a trained Irken Invader operates on whims? By the time I made my request I had already formulated an entire ingenious plan!
KidK: Really? That's kinda neat. So, what's the plan, then?
Zim: I will play the piano, and everyone will worship me. u.u
KidK: Huh. Simple, yet effective, yes? Too bad I can't teach you—if your amazingness in all other fields is any indication, you'd probably be brilliant.
Zim: o_ô Are you being sarcastic?
KidK: No! At least…not on purpose. I'm sorry. It's just…you know…I'm sorry I freaked out on you. You didn't know I was insane, and you've given me such nice compliments…(she brightens a bit and smiles) No, I really mean it when I say you're amazing.
Zim: You aren't insane…I only said that because I was—wasn't, for I am never—surprised by what you said about not being very good at music. That's why I want you to be my instructor in my latest and greatest plan to subvert the humans—how could someone as amazing as me ever learn anything from anyone other than someone as amazing as you?
KidK: _ Okay, that's it. You are getting way too good at being nice to me, mister. I'll level with you—that last statement has melted me enough that I'm going to agree to try and do this. That doesn't mean I'm going to be any good at it, though.
Zim: I have every confidence in you—and why shouldn't I? From what I've heard you are a genius.
KidK (clutching her head in mock agony): Aargh! Stop, stop! Okay, you get one more favor, but that's it.
Zim: I don't want anything else at the moment.
KidK: Single-minded devotion to your plan, eh? That's good for learning an instrument. You need to be able to concentrate your whole attention on the music.
Zim: And already I am learning. Tell me more. Like…(he reaches up and grabs the music book off its ledge)…what's this curly thingy here? And what in Irk's name are those? And how does one create music from these bizarre symbols? And—
KidK (laughing): Okay, okay, slow down. One thing at a time. We have to start from the beginning.
Zim: All right, then. (he slides closer to KidK on the bench and raises his hands above the keys) Which of these levers to I push first to make that beautiful song come out of the piano?
KidK: Hee…'levers'…that's cute. No, sorry, Zimmy, but I meant the beginning beginning. As in 'back to basics.' You're not gonna play 'Passionate Impromptu' for a long time.
Zim: o.ô No?
KidK: No. First of all, you don't know how to read music. Secondly, you haven't got the finger training to make the kinds of split-second movements necessary for such a piece. And thirdly…you called the piano keys 'levers,' Zim. I'm gonna see if I can't find my old beginners' books from when I first started lessons. I'm pretty sure they're downstairs. (she gets up to go)
Zim: Fine, then. (he sticks out his jaw and glares at the piano) This will be slightly more difficult than I had anticipated, but I will master you. Soon you will be my instrument of doom! Muhahahahaaaaa!
KidK: Okay, sounds good. You tell the piano who's boss, and I'll go get those books.
Zim (now in full rant-mode): Yes! Share all your knowledge with me, my kami of music, that I may use it to rule the planet—no, the galaxy! Bwahahahahahaaaaaaaa!
Sammi (awakening and picking up her head): Hrrrrrrm? (she sees her Master, Zim, laughing maniacally and perks up) *yip?*
Gir (sitting up very suddenly): Ducks! (he too notices Zim at the piano) Heeeey, Master! You gonna play the pee-nanner too? That's a happy! Whee!
KidK (walking away down the stairs): I'll be right back—have fun and don't break anything! (thinking) 'Kami of music,' huh? Is he joking? …nahhh, I need to quit being paranoid about all that. He wasn't even thinking when he said it, so how could it be sarcasm? Not thinking…not contrived…he really means that? (she gets a determined look in her eyes) Well, then, I must live up to this praise and aide my friend to the best of my ability. (eternally second-guessing herself, she pauses) I just hope all that confidence isn't misplaced, Zimmy…. Now, where are those books?
Oh My! KidK Teaching Zim To Play The Piano? Sweet, But Is It Plausible? Will Zim Hypnotize The World With His Musical Might? And Will KidK Ever Get Over Her Extreme Phobia Of Playing In Front Of Others? You Just May Find Out, If Only You Will Read On…