Title: When Tomorrow Comes
Author: Magicsunbeam
Email:magicsunbeam@ntlworld.com Category: POV (Janet) Angst
Pairing: Absolutely none
Rating: G Season: Hmm. After Jacob came aboard, but way before Daniel went all glowy. Probably season 2.
Spoilers: None Summary: Emry got to me again. This is a small response to her `To Watch A Man.`
WARNING: Grandma has NOT been beaten. All stupid mistakes are my own doing.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"Who is it, sir?" I asked, rushing into the embarkation room.
"SG1," came the solemn reply.
I glanced from the star gates watery surface to General Hammond's face, and saw for the first time, the sorrow in his eyes.
SG1 weren't due back for hours. The plan was to send some of the more able bodied people through the gate. SG1 and Jacob Carter would remain with the rest until such a time as the injured and sick were well enough to travel. Something must have gone wrong.
"Sir?" I pushed gently.
"They're dead, doctor," he said quietly. "The people Jacob Carter found are all dead."
I had no time to question him, as a soft splash heralded the arrival of the first of the team.
A very grave Teal'c escorted the MALP. Then came a worried looking Sam, her arm wrapped around her father's waist. A pale and decidedly shaken Daniel accompanied an equally pale and shaken Mike Timmerman, one of my medics.
I waited for the last member of the team.
And waited.
"Where's Colonel O'Neill?" General Hammond asked, voicing my own concerns.
"He's coming, George," Jacob replied softly. "Just give him a minute."
Oh God. Not good.
I took that minute to send the rest of the team to the infirmary. Teal'c refused to leave. He stood silently at the foot of the ramp, and waited.
Finally, the pool of water rippled, and Jack O'Neill stepped through the star gate.
His face was hard, as if set in stone. There was no trace of the usual humour in his eyes. No spring in his step, and certainly, there was none of the usual post mission banter. He looked exhausted and oddly vulnerable. In fact, I don't think I've ever seen a man look so utterly devastated.
I watched as he walked down the ramp, the noise of his footfall on steel echoed in the eerily silent room.
"General," O'Neill snapped a sharp salute off. That gesture alone showing the sombre mood he was in.
General Hammond returned the salute. "Get cleaned up and checked out, son. We'll debrief in two hours."
"Yes, sir," came the barely audible reply.
I had more sense than to start asking him questions about his health at that point, yet he seemed to anticipate it. When I said nothing, he sighed, and without another word, the colonel and Teal'c turned and left the room, side by side.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It didn't surprise me that the general had given two hours. He had only to look at Colonel O'Neill and the rest of the team, to know that they needed a little more time than usual to gather their thoughts for a debriefing.
All six were subdued as I put them through the post mission checks. I worked as quickly as I could, not wanting to keep them any longer than I had to. I saw to Colonel O'Neill first, recognising the signs that he needed to get away, to be by himself for a while.
Then the rest of the team disappeared in different directions, all seeking their own hiding place. Which was another sign of the severity of what they had witnessed. SG1 are notorious for their sticking together in times of need. I didn't yet know the details of what happened on that world, but I've seen enough PTSS to know that whatever the details were, they weren't going to be pretty.
How right I was.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Poor Mike. No wonder he looked so shaken.
SG1 are used to dealing with death by extermination, it's an unfortunate, but frequent occurrence for them. However, what happened on that world, especially the children ~ even more so, the little girl who died in Colonel O'Neill's arms ~ has been enough to shake them to the core too.
Just *listening* to those details was enough to make my blood run cold. As soon as I got out of the briefing room, the first thing I did was to ring Cassie, just to hear her voice.
General Hammond put SG1 on immediate stand down for a few days, and ordered them all off the base. Colonel O'Neill didn't take a second to fight the general's decision, he simply took off. The rest of the team left together, Daniel being the one to invite Teal'c to stay with him. Something Colonel O'Neill would normally have done.
I knew he just needed some time to get his head round what had happened, but our colonel was beginning to cause me some anxieties of my own.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A couple of hours after SG1 left the mountain, my shift changed and I hurried on home to my daughter.
Cassie had just gone to bed when the doorbell rang, just before nine. I opened the door to find Colonel O'Neill sitting on the porch bench.
"Colonel?"
"Doc," came the quiet reply.
"Sir, are you okay?
Big sigh.
"Yeah, Doc. I'm okay."
The night was close to freezing point, and I could see his breath puffing in the light of the porch.
"Sir? It's freezing out here. Is there something you wanted?"
Another big sigh and he stood up.
"No Doc," he said, turning to leave. "I don't know what I'm doing here. I'm sorry I disturbed you."
Oh no. Nice try O'Neill. I knew what he wanted ~ what he *needed*.
"Why don't you come in and say hi to Cassie? She'll be mad if she knew you were here and didn't see her."
He hesitated, before sighing again. God, he was hurting so much. I just wanted to wrap my arms around him right there and then.
However, I managed to control myself. Instead, I took his hand and pulled him into the warmth of the house.
"She's in her room," I told him, and pushed him toward the stairs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An hour passed before two things occurred to me. Firstly, I hadn't heard a sound from them in a while, and secondly, Cassie had school to the next day.
I made my way up to the room, and tapping lightly on the door, I entered.
"Time to go to sleep, Cass," I said, and stopped dead in my tracks.
Colonel O'Neill was lying on top of the bed, with my daughter nestled securely in his arms. Both were sound asleep. His face was half hidden in her hair, his hands linked and locked. It looked as if he was never going to let her go.
I should have smiled. My aww-O-meter should have hit the roof. Instead, it was all I could do to stop myself from crying.
With Cassie lying in his arms like that, all I could see was the dead girl. I could almost feel the pain that Colonel O'Neill had felt, knowing there was nothing he could do to help her.
God, what if that was my little girl?
`Okay Janet. Enough.` I chastised myself.
It wasn't my little girl. *My* little girl was safe and well, wrapped up in the arms of someone she loved dearly. Someone who loved her back, and in equal amounts.
I wondered if that little girl knew she was in safe hands? If she knew that in the time she had left, this stranger would protect her with all that he had. Oh God, I hoped so.
I watched them for a few minutes more, smiling when Cassie shifted slightly and unconsciously buried herself deeper into the colonel's chest. He responded with a contented sigh.
It looked like he was going nowhere.
I sneaked across the room, and drawing up the extra blanket from the bottom of the bed, covered up our sleeping colonel. Then turning off all but a small lamp, I pulled the door to, and left them to their rest.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm glad he chose to come here tonight. I think seeing Cassie, hearing her voice, has helped him more than he could have realised. I'm fairly sure that tomorrow the nightmares will come, but when they do, I know of one little girl who will help him pick up the pieces.
For tonight though, please God, just let him be.
~~end~~
Email:magicsunbeam@ntlworld.com Category: POV (Janet) Angst
Pairing: Absolutely none
Rating: G Season: Hmm. After Jacob came aboard, but way before Daniel went all glowy. Probably season 2.
Spoilers: None Summary: Emry got to me again. This is a small response to her `To Watch A Man.`
WARNING: Grandma has NOT been beaten. All stupid mistakes are my own doing.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"Who is it, sir?" I asked, rushing into the embarkation room.
"SG1," came the solemn reply.
I glanced from the star gates watery surface to General Hammond's face, and saw for the first time, the sorrow in his eyes.
SG1 weren't due back for hours. The plan was to send some of the more able bodied people through the gate. SG1 and Jacob Carter would remain with the rest until such a time as the injured and sick were well enough to travel. Something must have gone wrong.
"Sir?" I pushed gently.
"They're dead, doctor," he said quietly. "The people Jacob Carter found are all dead."
I had no time to question him, as a soft splash heralded the arrival of the first of the team.
A very grave Teal'c escorted the MALP. Then came a worried looking Sam, her arm wrapped around her father's waist. A pale and decidedly shaken Daniel accompanied an equally pale and shaken Mike Timmerman, one of my medics.
I waited for the last member of the team.
And waited.
"Where's Colonel O'Neill?" General Hammond asked, voicing my own concerns.
"He's coming, George," Jacob replied softly. "Just give him a minute."
Oh God. Not good.
I took that minute to send the rest of the team to the infirmary. Teal'c refused to leave. He stood silently at the foot of the ramp, and waited.
Finally, the pool of water rippled, and Jack O'Neill stepped through the star gate.
His face was hard, as if set in stone. There was no trace of the usual humour in his eyes. No spring in his step, and certainly, there was none of the usual post mission banter. He looked exhausted and oddly vulnerable. In fact, I don't think I've ever seen a man look so utterly devastated.
I watched as he walked down the ramp, the noise of his footfall on steel echoed in the eerily silent room.
"General," O'Neill snapped a sharp salute off. That gesture alone showing the sombre mood he was in.
General Hammond returned the salute. "Get cleaned up and checked out, son. We'll debrief in two hours."
"Yes, sir," came the barely audible reply.
I had more sense than to start asking him questions about his health at that point, yet he seemed to anticipate it. When I said nothing, he sighed, and without another word, the colonel and Teal'c turned and left the room, side by side.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It didn't surprise me that the general had given two hours. He had only to look at Colonel O'Neill and the rest of the team, to know that they needed a little more time than usual to gather their thoughts for a debriefing.
All six were subdued as I put them through the post mission checks. I worked as quickly as I could, not wanting to keep them any longer than I had to. I saw to Colonel O'Neill first, recognising the signs that he needed to get away, to be by himself for a while.
Then the rest of the team disappeared in different directions, all seeking their own hiding place. Which was another sign of the severity of what they had witnessed. SG1 are notorious for their sticking together in times of need. I didn't yet know the details of what happened on that world, but I've seen enough PTSS to know that whatever the details were, they weren't going to be pretty.
How right I was.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Poor Mike. No wonder he looked so shaken.
SG1 are used to dealing with death by extermination, it's an unfortunate, but frequent occurrence for them. However, what happened on that world, especially the children ~ even more so, the little girl who died in Colonel O'Neill's arms ~ has been enough to shake them to the core too.
Just *listening* to those details was enough to make my blood run cold. As soon as I got out of the briefing room, the first thing I did was to ring Cassie, just to hear her voice.
General Hammond put SG1 on immediate stand down for a few days, and ordered them all off the base. Colonel O'Neill didn't take a second to fight the general's decision, he simply took off. The rest of the team left together, Daniel being the one to invite Teal'c to stay with him. Something Colonel O'Neill would normally have done.
I knew he just needed some time to get his head round what had happened, but our colonel was beginning to cause me some anxieties of my own.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A couple of hours after SG1 left the mountain, my shift changed and I hurried on home to my daughter.
Cassie had just gone to bed when the doorbell rang, just before nine. I opened the door to find Colonel O'Neill sitting on the porch bench.
"Colonel?"
"Doc," came the quiet reply.
"Sir, are you okay?
Big sigh.
"Yeah, Doc. I'm okay."
The night was close to freezing point, and I could see his breath puffing in the light of the porch.
"Sir? It's freezing out here. Is there something you wanted?"
Another big sigh and he stood up.
"No Doc," he said, turning to leave. "I don't know what I'm doing here. I'm sorry I disturbed you."
Oh no. Nice try O'Neill. I knew what he wanted ~ what he *needed*.
"Why don't you come in and say hi to Cassie? She'll be mad if she knew you were here and didn't see her."
He hesitated, before sighing again. God, he was hurting so much. I just wanted to wrap my arms around him right there and then.
However, I managed to control myself. Instead, I took his hand and pulled him into the warmth of the house.
"She's in her room," I told him, and pushed him toward the stairs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An hour passed before two things occurred to me. Firstly, I hadn't heard a sound from them in a while, and secondly, Cassie had school to the next day.
I made my way up to the room, and tapping lightly on the door, I entered.
"Time to go to sleep, Cass," I said, and stopped dead in my tracks.
Colonel O'Neill was lying on top of the bed, with my daughter nestled securely in his arms. Both were sound asleep. His face was half hidden in her hair, his hands linked and locked. It looked as if he was never going to let her go.
I should have smiled. My aww-O-meter should have hit the roof. Instead, it was all I could do to stop myself from crying.
With Cassie lying in his arms like that, all I could see was the dead girl. I could almost feel the pain that Colonel O'Neill had felt, knowing there was nothing he could do to help her.
God, what if that was my little girl?
`Okay Janet. Enough.` I chastised myself.
It wasn't my little girl. *My* little girl was safe and well, wrapped up in the arms of someone she loved dearly. Someone who loved her back, and in equal amounts.
I wondered if that little girl knew she was in safe hands? If she knew that in the time she had left, this stranger would protect her with all that he had. Oh God, I hoped so.
I watched them for a few minutes more, smiling when Cassie shifted slightly and unconsciously buried herself deeper into the colonel's chest. He responded with a contented sigh.
It looked like he was going nowhere.
I sneaked across the room, and drawing up the extra blanket from the bottom of the bed, covered up our sleeping colonel. Then turning off all but a small lamp, I pulled the door to, and left them to their rest.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm glad he chose to come here tonight. I think seeing Cassie, hearing her voice, has helped him more than he could have realised. I'm fairly sure that tomorrow the nightmares will come, but when they do, I know of one little girl who will help him pick up the pieces.
For tonight though, please God, just let him be.
~~end~~