WWE spring break in Cancun
Chapter 1
Vacation's All I EVVVVER Wanted
Disclaimer- We don't own any of the superstars and we're not making any frickin money. Damn.
Author's note- In this story Matt Hardy and Lita are not an item, but Lita might just have feelings for him, but we'll see how that works out. Oh and Team Xtreme is still together, and all is well, GOT IT?! Good . . .
Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy and Lita are looking for a spot on the beach in Cancun, Mexico to put their stuff down.
"Oh, oh over here! By this big ass rock!" Jeff yelled, running over to a sandy spot next to a large rock, jumping up and down.
"Fine whatever Jeff, just calm down before you have another accident." Matt smirked.
"Did you have to remind me of that fricking fiasco?" Lita asked as she and Matt walked over to where Jeff stood, shaking their heads in disgust.
"Last one in the water is a 2-cent whoe." Jeff shouted, running into the water.
"Hey stop making fun of Steph, she's not even here dumbass. Matt scolded, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Hey! Jeff's not a dumbass . . . at least not all the time." Lita pointed out, setting the beach blanket down. She and Matt then began to set up the umbrella, and with much difficulty finally got it wedged into the sand. "Damn umbrella." Lita mumbled.
"Brrrrrrrr . . . it was chilly in the water. I'm as blue as my hair." Jeff shivered as he proceeded to shake the water off himself like a dog, sending water droplets everywhere.
"Jeff your hair isn't even blue right now, it's-" Matt started, but was cut off as a figure approached the trio.
"Oh not you jabronies! The Rock, the Great One, came to Cancun to have a vacation and to get away from everyone, and the Rock means EVERYONE!"
"Rock, if you didn't want to see us then why the hell did you come up to us?" Matt asked, in a dull voice. Not really caring for an answer, Matt proceeded to put suntan lotion on, and tried to coax Jeff to do the same.
"The Rock wanted to know if Lita wanted some of the Rock's strudel?" Rock asked suggestively wiggling his eyebrows, and adjusting his pants and swaying his hips as seen on TV.
"Um . . . ah . . . no thanks Rock." Lita mumbled, in sheer disgust.
"Oh, the Rock gets it. You like pie! Because no one, and the Rock means NO ONE ever says no the People's Strudel!"
"Ewwwww . . . hell no! This conversation is getting way too gross for me I'm gonna sunbathe." Lita said as she put on her head phones and a pair of shades and proceeded to stretch out on the beach blanket.
"Ah, Rock what's strudel?" Jeff asked nervously. Matt rolled his eyes, he knew what was coming.
"What did you just say jabroni?" The Rock asked, tilting his head sideways, and moving his sunglasses to the brim of his nose so he could get a better look at Jeff.
"I asked you what strudel is."
"Matt, why don't you take over from here. The Great One does not need to waste his time trying to explain the concept of strudel to a jabroni that's this dense." The Rock said, exasperated.
"Gee, thanks Rock . . . and he ain't dense, he's different! Okay right, um.strudel is a kind of pastry (usually) for woman, unless your Billy and Chuck."
"Ohhhhhhh, are you sure?" Jeff asked in a childish voice.
"I just said so . . ."
All of a sudden Stephanie McMahon runs up to them.
"Oh HI GUYS! Funny to see you here."
"Make it stop! The noise, the humanity! OWWWW!" Lita screamed covering her ears. She pulled the headphones from her head and got up quickly joining the group. "Damn it, I was in the middle of a ram- cycle and I heard the most God awful noise . . . oh hi Steph." Lita said, realizing now what or should we say 'who' had been the cause of the noise. "Could you please get those things away from me?" She asked, glancing down.
"Oh sorry I didn't even know they were sticking out that far." Stephanie said tucking them back in and then turning her attention back to the Rock and Hardyz.
"Shhhh . . . don't speak." The Rock said, covering Steph's mouth with his hand. "Great more jabronies dead ahead." At that time, Y2J, Hurricane, Big Show Austin, Trish, Torrie, Molly, Stacy, Jazz, Edge and Christian were all walking up to them from different directions.
"Golly isn't it funny that we all came to the same place for Spring Break!" Molly exclaimed, looking around at everyone.
"I'm a Living Legend and I have to spend my vacation with you assclowns! Y2J whined, eyeing the Rock and Stephanie. "I will nevvvvvver, evvvvvvvvver, come here again!!"
"Oh quit your bitching Jericho! You think I'm thrilled that you're here?" Stephanie admonished with an icy glare. Jericho wasn't hesitant to return it, and out broke an old fashioned stare down.
"I don't care what any of you guys say; this vacation is SO totally going to reek of awesomeness!" Edge exclaimed, high-fiveing Christian, and then they proceeded to do a 5 second pose.
"Let the Era of Awesomeness begin!" Christian yelled as they high- fived yet again.
"HA, YOU BLINKED! I WIN JERKY!" Stephanie screeched, as everyone dug their fingers into their ears for fear of loosing their hearing altogether. "So, Matt, Spring Break is all about fun, so I was thinking why don't we go back to my hotel room and have some fun?" She asked suggestively, tugging on Matt's arm.
Matt gulped nervously. "Um, ah, well- you see, no. I'd be too afraid that your boobs would suffocate me." He answered as Lita looked on glaring daggers at Stephanie.
"Fine. What about you Jeff, do you want to go back to my room with me?" Stephanie asked, kneeling down near Jeff who was attempting to build a sand castle.
"Damn this freaking sand!" Jeff yelled, accidentally throwing a handful of sand at Steph in frustration. "Hehe, sorry. Oh, um, that sounds kinda boring Steph. What would we do? Will there be sand?" Jeff asked looking confused. Stephanie sputtered about, hopping up and down trying to get the sand out of her eyes.
"OWWWWWWW! GET IT OUT, I CAN'T SEE!" She screamed, and finally by some miracle the sand came out of her eyes.
"So will there be SAND?" Jeff asked again, growing rather impenitent. He wanted to get back to building his castle before someone stole all the good sand.
"Oh right, come and you'll find out. Oh, and no, there won't be sand involved, just you, and me, and-" Steph whispered seductively, pulling him up from the ground. She flashed a devilish smile at him when he looked like he was actually thinking about it.
"That doesn't sound like much fun, I think I'm gonna stay here and build sand castles. Anybody wanna help?" Seconds later, Hurricane runs over and he and Jeff attempt to build a castle.
"Stand back citizen Hardy! I will build the perfect sand castle with my Hurri- powers!"
"Hey Steph, I'll go with you! How much?" Big Show asked hopefully, coming over to her. Stephanie looked at him like he had ten heads, and turned around attempting to ignore the question.
"Oh, don't worry Stephanie's services are very affordable, isn't that right Steph? She's a filthy, dirty, disgusting, skanky, brutal, bottom feeding, trash bag, 2 cent hoe, or did it get lowered to one?" Jericho smirked. He then turned his attention to Steph who had a disgusted look on her face.
"Shut up Jericho! Must you always talk shit about me?" Jericho simply nodded devilishly.
"Oh, I have 2 cents, I have 2 cents!! Finally the big man is gonna get lucky!!" Big Show squealed, pulling 2 cents out of his pocket and practically throwing it at Steph.
"But I . . . noooooooooooo!! I'm gonna kill you Jericho!" Stephanie screeched as Big Show picked her up, put her over his shoulder and headed for the hotel.
"Face it, you will nevvver evvvvvvvver be the same again! If you come back that is!" Y2J called after her retreating figure, and then fell onto the ground and laughing hysterically.
Authors' Note- We hope this was somewhat entertaining, and there's much more to come. Hopefully the next chapter will be funnier. Please read and review! Keep in mind this is only our first fic so be nice!
Chapter 1
Vacation's All I EVVVVER Wanted
Disclaimer- We don't own any of the superstars and we're not making any frickin money. Damn.
Author's note- In this story Matt Hardy and Lita are not an item, but Lita might just have feelings for him, but we'll see how that works out. Oh and Team Xtreme is still together, and all is well, GOT IT?! Good . . .
Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy and Lita are looking for a spot on the beach in Cancun, Mexico to put their stuff down.
"Oh, oh over here! By this big ass rock!" Jeff yelled, running over to a sandy spot next to a large rock, jumping up and down.
"Fine whatever Jeff, just calm down before you have another accident." Matt smirked.
"Did you have to remind me of that fricking fiasco?" Lita asked as she and Matt walked over to where Jeff stood, shaking their heads in disgust.
"Last one in the water is a 2-cent whoe." Jeff shouted, running into the water.
"Hey stop making fun of Steph, she's not even here dumbass. Matt scolded, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Hey! Jeff's not a dumbass . . . at least not all the time." Lita pointed out, setting the beach blanket down. She and Matt then began to set up the umbrella, and with much difficulty finally got it wedged into the sand. "Damn umbrella." Lita mumbled.
"Brrrrrrrr . . . it was chilly in the water. I'm as blue as my hair." Jeff shivered as he proceeded to shake the water off himself like a dog, sending water droplets everywhere.
"Jeff your hair isn't even blue right now, it's-" Matt started, but was cut off as a figure approached the trio.
"Oh not you jabronies! The Rock, the Great One, came to Cancun to have a vacation and to get away from everyone, and the Rock means EVERYONE!"
"Rock, if you didn't want to see us then why the hell did you come up to us?" Matt asked, in a dull voice. Not really caring for an answer, Matt proceeded to put suntan lotion on, and tried to coax Jeff to do the same.
"The Rock wanted to know if Lita wanted some of the Rock's strudel?" Rock asked suggestively wiggling his eyebrows, and adjusting his pants and swaying his hips as seen on TV.
"Um . . . ah . . . no thanks Rock." Lita mumbled, in sheer disgust.
"Oh, the Rock gets it. You like pie! Because no one, and the Rock means NO ONE ever says no the People's Strudel!"
"Ewwwww . . . hell no! This conversation is getting way too gross for me I'm gonna sunbathe." Lita said as she put on her head phones and a pair of shades and proceeded to stretch out on the beach blanket.
"Ah, Rock what's strudel?" Jeff asked nervously. Matt rolled his eyes, he knew what was coming.
"What did you just say jabroni?" The Rock asked, tilting his head sideways, and moving his sunglasses to the brim of his nose so he could get a better look at Jeff.
"I asked you what strudel is."
"Matt, why don't you take over from here. The Great One does not need to waste his time trying to explain the concept of strudel to a jabroni that's this dense." The Rock said, exasperated.
"Gee, thanks Rock . . . and he ain't dense, he's different! Okay right, um.strudel is a kind of pastry (usually) for woman, unless your Billy and Chuck."
"Ohhhhhhh, are you sure?" Jeff asked in a childish voice.
"I just said so . . ."
All of a sudden Stephanie McMahon runs up to them.
"Oh HI GUYS! Funny to see you here."
"Make it stop! The noise, the humanity! OWWWW!" Lita screamed covering her ears. She pulled the headphones from her head and got up quickly joining the group. "Damn it, I was in the middle of a ram- cycle and I heard the most God awful noise . . . oh hi Steph." Lita said, realizing now what or should we say 'who' had been the cause of the noise. "Could you please get those things away from me?" She asked, glancing down.
"Oh sorry I didn't even know they were sticking out that far." Stephanie said tucking them back in and then turning her attention back to the Rock and Hardyz.
"Shhhh . . . don't speak." The Rock said, covering Steph's mouth with his hand. "Great more jabronies dead ahead." At that time, Y2J, Hurricane, Big Show Austin, Trish, Torrie, Molly, Stacy, Jazz, Edge and Christian were all walking up to them from different directions.
"Golly isn't it funny that we all came to the same place for Spring Break!" Molly exclaimed, looking around at everyone.
"I'm a Living Legend and I have to spend my vacation with you assclowns! Y2J whined, eyeing the Rock and Stephanie. "I will nevvvvvver, evvvvvvvvver, come here again!!"
"Oh quit your bitching Jericho! You think I'm thrilled that you're here?" Stephanie admonished with an icy glare. Jericho wasn't hesitant to return it, and out broke an old fashioned stare down.
"I don't care what any of you guys say; this vacation is SO totally going to reek of awesomeness!" Edge exclaimed, high-fiveing Christian, and then they proceeded to do a 5 second pose.
"Let the Era of Awesomeness begin!" Christian yelled as they high- fived yet again.
"HA, YOU BLINKED! I WIN JERKY!" Stephanie screeched, as everyone dug their fingers into their ears for fear of loosing their hearing altogether. "So, Matt, Spring Break is all about fun, so I was thinking why don't we go back to my hotel room and have some fun?" She asked suggestively, tugging on Matt's arm.
Matt gulped nervously. "Um, ah, well- you see, no. I'd be too afraid that your boobs would suffocate me." He answered as Lita looked on glaring daggers at Stephanie.
"Fine. What about you Jeff, do you want to go back to my room with me?" Stephanie asked, kneeling down near Jeff who was attempting to build a sand castle.
"Damn this freaking sand!" Jeff yelled, accidentally throwing a handful of sand at Steph in frustration. "Hehe, sorry. Oh, um, that sounds kinda boring Steph. What would we do? Will there be sand?" Jeff asked looking confused. Stephanie sputtered about, hopping up and down trying to get the sand out of her eyes.
"OWWWWWWW! GET IT OUT, I CAN'T SEE!" She screamed, and finally by some miracle the sand came out of her eyes.
"So will there be SAND?" Jeff asked again, growing rather impenitent. He wanted to get back to building his castle before someone stole all the good sand.
"Oh right, come and you'll find out. Oh, and no, there won't be sand involved, just you, and me, and-" Steph whispered seductively, pulling him up from the ground. She flashed a devilish smile at him when he looked like he was actually thinking about it.
"That doesn't sound like much fun, I think I'm gonna stay here and build sand castles. Anybody wanna help?" Seconds later, Hurricane runs over and he and Jeff attempt to build a castle.
"Stand back citizen Hardy! I will build the perfect sand castle with my Hurri- powers!"
"Hey Steph, I'll go with you! How much?" Big Show asked hopefully, coming over to her. Stephanie looked at him like he had ten heads, and turned around attempting to ignore the question.
"Oh, don't worry Stephanie's services are very affordable, isn't that right Steph? She's a filthy, dirty, disgusting, skanky, brutal, bottom feeding, trash bag, 2 cent hoe, or did it get lowered to one?" Jericho smirked. He then turned his attention to Steph who had a disgusted look on her face.
"Shut up Jericho! Must you always talk shit about me?" Jericho simply nodded devilishly.
"Oh, I have 2 cents, I have 2 cents!! Finally the big man is gonna get lucky!!" Big Show squealed, pulling 2 cents out of his pocket and practically throwing it at Steph.
"But I . . . noooooooooooo!! I'm gonna kill you Jericho!" Stephanie screeched as Big Show picked her up, put her over his shoulder and headed for the hotel.
"Face it, you will nevvver evvvvvvvver be the same again! If you come back that is!" Y2J called after her retreating figure, and then fell onto the ground and laughing hysterically.
Authors' Note- We hope this was somewhat entertaining, and there's much more to come. Hopefully the next chapter will be funnier. Please read and review! Keep in mind this is only our first fic so be nice!