Blood Red Darkness
By: Neko-chan
A/N: ...I think I scared myself again. o.O;; Maybe I should tell 'Kasaan to stop giving me so MUCH Nyquil. ... Well, I'm sick. Normally, I don't really write stories like this or "Coppelia's Casket," but I'm gonna take the coward's route and blame the Nyquil. *nods* Yup, gotta be that. (At least I know that Shenya likes them, though. D) Am currently writing chapter 13 for "Youth of the Nation"--will have a lot of fluffy stuff. But you don't really want me to write it right now while I'm all woozy...and have it turn out like "Coppelia's Casket," do you? *pauses* Nope, thought not. Anyway, dedicated to Shenya 'cause she's one of the few people who actually LIKES my dark stuff. ;_; Sooo... Enjoy, Shenya! ^_~
WARNING: Twisting/disturbing/DARK Yami Yuugi/Yuugi.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own. You don't sue. The end.
Aibou doesn't know a lot about me. He thinks that he knows everything that he possibly can...but he doesn't. No, not even close. I have many, many unopened doors in my Soul Room. And he can never, ever open them. I won't allow it. He'll be scared of me. How could I live with myself if that ever happened? So the doors remained locked, musty and dank. Rusty with age. But...he still doesn't know.
Secrets, you know.
Heh. My Soul Room is full of secrets. Trapped for the unwary. Did you know that I had fallen into one of my own traps before? I fell into darkness for a very, very long time. Sometimes I think I had gone insane. Sometimes I wonder if I still AM insane.
It would explain a lot, wouldn't it?
Did you know that I can hear footsteps here? It's not often...but I can hear footsteps running up and down the maze's steps, running to and fro, never stopping. No, never stopping. Sometimes whoever is trapped starts to cry--sobbing, really. Their crying fills up my Room and I just want them to be quiet. I just want them to shut up. But then... But then... Heh. But then I realize that the crying is coming from me.
I hate the darkness, did you know that?
I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. I've spent five thousand years shut away in darkness, finding my way blindly across my Soul Room. Trapped with no escape. Buried, alive--in a way. But how can I be buried alive if I'm dead? Funny, don't you think? I certainly think so. I still hate the dark.
That's probably why I love hikari so much. He is as his name suggests. He is light. My light. MY light. Mine. Only mine. He is light to my darkness and I crave his light. I think he's the only reason why I haven't fallen any further into insanity. One more door opens--I wonder how much further into the darkness I'll fall? I just hope I don't drag him in after him. I'll mourn his innocence lost if I do. But at least he'll be with me, ne? With me always.
Yami.
Ra, I hate it.
THAT name.
MY name.
I hate being named after the darkness I despise. I hate my name. But...how can I hate my name if it's supposed to represent ME? Very easily, I guess. Funny, don't you think? No? Well, too bad. I hate it all. And I'm still stuck in the darkness with the footsteps and the crying. Why won't the crying ever stop?! If it doesn't stop soon...the screaming will begin.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it.
Oh, look there. The locks on the doors are beginning to crack. Does that mean that my sanity is beginning to fracture? A while ago, I used to feel sorry for Yami Bakura because of the fact that his sanity wasn't all there. In a way, I feared him. But that's not true.
No, not exactly.
I didn't fear him.
He's an idiot.
A stupid Tomb Robber.
Dust.
He's nothing.
And yet... And yet... I still feared him. Or at least what he represented for me. Insanity. I don't want to be insane. But my control and my hold is weakening. And, as I said before, the locks on the closed doors are fracturing. What will I do when they finally crack completely? My Soul Room will be torn apart, mazes will crumble...and I'll fall into darkness.
And I'll take hikari with me.
The crying continues.
Why?
Why won't they just be quiet?!
SHUT UP!
...
Ah. Silence. Heh. Blessed silence. But now... The darkness is pressing down around me. I feel closed in. The thing is--I AM closed in. Closed in within my own Soul Room. No escape and no rescue. Just endless and total darkness. I hate the dark. I fear it more, though. It represents all of the things that I fear--insanity, the unknown. Death. I'm already dead, though, so how can I fear Death?
Dead?
Or not quite?
Another secret I've hidden from aibou.
Another door that's remained locked...but the lock's cracking.
Oh, well.
Old memories are coming to me more. I wish they'd just stay away. I don't want them. Not anymore, anyway. Not ever again. After all, I won't need them when I'm gone, fallen into the darkness. And yet... The memories still come. Go away, I don't want you. I don't ever want you...
Did you know that I used to cut myself while I was still alive?
Yes, I did. No particular reason. I just liked seeing the blood run over my arms, staining the white marble under my feet. The tangy coppery scent. The fact that if I didn't stop the blood soon...I would die. But I wouldn't die, would I? After all, I was a god. I god that walked as Pharaoh--the Morning and Evening Star. So how could I die?
Stupid commoners.
I could die because I was human. My blood was like any other persons.
And the pain...
The slaves never commented on the bloodstains, though. If they did, I would have cut out their tongues and buried them alive. And they knew this. So no one ever learned about how I cut myself. No one ever commented on the wounds, either. They knew that if they did so, it would mean death for them.
Too bad.
I can still feel the pain, too.
Shivering as the blade travels over my skin----I have goosebumps. Can you see them?
Oh, look. Another wrong turn and another fall into darkness. I can hear the cracking of the locks. Not much longer. No, not much longer at all. I'm not scared anymore, though. How can I? How can I be scared of the darkness if I've become the darkness? Still hate it, though. What irony! Isn't it funny? Well, isn't it? Why aren't you laughing?
STOP CRYING!
WHY WON'T YOU STOP CRYING, DAMN IT?!
The sobbing echoes off of the walls and gets louder and louder and louder... It fills the darkness. Ra, how I hate myself. I wish I was still able to bleed. Is this my punishment? Was this why I was locked away in the dark? To go insane?
Heh.
Is that is so, wouldn't they regret their decision when I become the darkness? I've already started. Have I already finished? Too hard to tell. Too hard to tell anymore. I'm blind. I can't feel. I can't see. And I can't touch. I'm numb.
But I can still sense when hikari is near.
Yuugi.
My hikari.
My light.
I'm dragging him into darkness, aren't I?
...oh, well.
...
I still like playing with the blade, even though I know it won't cut me. And if it does--so what? At least I'll be able to feel it. Maybe I'll be able to relive the sensation of pain, of having my blood run down my arm, drip off my fingers, to puddle on the marble. Ra, I miss it.
'And the water will run like blood...'
How quaint.
How fun!
Innocent violet eyes stare up at me, brimming over with liquid. Not red liquid. Oh, no. Not yet. But clear liquid. The liquid still tastes like blood, though. It's close enough. It'll do.
Cries and sobs echo off of the walls.
STOP CRYING, DAMN YOU!
And the darkness will swallow you up...
...and the darkness will come together as blood...
I look forward to it.
MY fun.
MY blood red darkness.
Darkness which swallows up the light.
Poof. No more.
No more light. No more hope. No more happiness or singing. Just crying...SHUT UP!
...and the locks finally crack...
A/N: @.@ ... No more Nyquil for Neko-chan. Nope. No more Halls, Nyquil, and Tylenol. x.x;; Hope you still liked it, though. And now I'm going to go and lay down before I pass out. Ja ne! (And stay on the lookout for "Youth of the Nation"'s update _hopefully_ sometime this week. It all depends on how I feel. 'Kay?) So, adieu!