WWE Spring Break in Cancun
Chapter 5
Rocky's Pastry Adventure
Day 2 (wrap up) & 3
By- onthaedge487 & live4thaxtreme
Disclaimer- We don't own anyone K? Oh, & we don't own the movie 'Dude Where's My Car?' . . . ROTFLMAO, during it! We got some of our ideas for this chap. from it, and we actually took some lines from it and changed them around, but it was just in fun so DON'T SUE! It's not like you'd get much anyway. Any who hope you enjoy our sad attempt at humor.
"Hi Mattie! I've been waiting for ya to get home! Do you like how I redecorated the hotel room?" Jeff asked beaming proudly.
"WHY THE HELL DID YOU FILL THE ROOM WITH SAND?" Matt screamed, standing frozen in the doorway staring into what was a clean hotel room, now covered in sand.
"Look, I put all the sand on the floor so it feels like we're at the beach without actually being their! OH AND WE CAN MAKE SANDCASTLES! Oh, did you see what I did to the walls?" Jeff exclaimed excitedly, puffing out his chest with pride.
"T-t-h-h-e walls?" Matt stuttered, and now beginning to hyper ventilate as he glanced up at the walls.
"Do you like 'em? I painted them myself! This one's a sunny day, and this one's a sunset, and this one's an overcast sky, and this one's a stormy sky!" Jeff informed, pointing to the different walls which each had a different kind of sky, which could be seen at the beach.
"I'm dreaming! Tell me I'm dreaming! Somebody pinch me! OW! I didn't actually mean for you to pinch me Jeff! Jeffery Nero Hardy, do you know, you ruined the very expensive hotel's walls. And do you know how long it will take to get all this f*cking sand out of the room?" Matt asked as his voice shook, and breathed heavily.
"But, but, Mattie, I didn't mean to. I thought you would like it. Anyway, I had a rush of creativity when I painted it, and I didn't have any paper, and I spotted the walls." Jeff replied, looking extremely sad and hurt.
"Ah, screw it. We'll just leave the sand here. It was very thoughtful of you Jeff, and actually, one of your brighter ideas. Hey, maybe the hotel will like what you did to 'em. I mean it does look really cool." Matt's tone lightened, as he looked over the walls, then gave Jeff a smile.
"Thanks big bro. Geez, I thought you were gonna have a heart attack when you saw what I did."
"Me too." Matt agreed, and seconds later they both cracked up.
"Hey, will you help me build a sandcastle? I'm no good at it on my own."
"Well . . . oh, why the hell not?" Matt agreed, and with that the brothers began to build a huge sandcastle, before bed. (Not very funny we know, we just had to put it in. Come on, they gotta spend some quality time together, may it be building sandcastles, it had to happen. *cricket noises* Yes we are insane, so keep reading).
*In a Different Hotel Room*
Kurt Angle yawned as it was well passed his bed time. The only reason he was up so late was that he was perfecting his plan to ruin Lita! He grinned evilly at the thought. Angle poured his warmed milk into a glass, picked up his plate of chocolate chip cookies, walked over to his comfy bed. He then discarded his fluffy pink robe, and fluffy pink bunny slippers, revealing matching pink bunny PJ's.
"Oh, don't worry Mr. Fluffums that evil Lita will get what's coming to her, don't you worry. Then daddy will go out and buy some new thongs to celebrate." Angle promised as he crawled into bed and pulled a large, fluffy pink bunny, with a bald spot at the top of it's head, close to him, and snuggled it. (getting the idea he likes pink . . . & bunnies? *shudders* Oh & his bunny needed to be bald too since Kurt is even though he at times denies it.)
"I'M NOT BALD! LOOK AT MY FULL HEAD OF HAIR!" Angle yelled up at the authors, adjusting his wig.
"Whatever Angle, would you please shut the hell up so I can continue?" Live4thaXtreme replies as Angle nods. "Anywayz . . ."
Mr. Fluffums- . . . . . .
"What was that Mr. Fluffums? What if she catches on? Oh don't worry Mr. Fluffums; she'll never catch on, because I'm an Olympic genius!"
Mr. Fluffums- . . . . .
"I knew you would see it my way. But I couldn't have done it without all your help. Here have a cookie, and could I tempt you with some milk?" Angle asked, shoving a cookie at the stuffed bunny, and attempting to feed it to him. Once Angle, fell asleep . . .
"Hey! What about Mr. Fluffums?!" Angle yelled, looking angrily at the Authors.
"Geez, soorrrrry! Don't get your thong in a twist. As I was saying . . ." Onthaedge487 continued typing, clearly annoyed with the interruptions.
Once Angle annnnnd Mr. Fluffums fell asleep, (Onthaedge487 & Live4thaXtreme- Happy now? *Angle nods*) Angle began to dream. Angle, being the dork he is (Angle- HEY! That's Olympic dork to you! . . . Wait a minute . . .) was dreaming about his 'plan to ruin Lita', and started talking in his sleep.
"Mr. Fluffums, get the milk truck! Quick, before she gets away! Where's the dern hose?! Snore. Ha, I got you now, you thong stealing red haired meanie! How do you like that Lita! Snore. GOT MILK?! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Snnnnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooorrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeee."
*The Next Morning* (day 3- for anyone who's as confused as us)
"Yawn! Man, what a night. I was so hammered I have no friggin' idea what I did. Yawn." Y2J said sleepily, rubbing his eyes. He then sat up in the bed, stretched and looked around the unfamiliar hotel room with blurry eyes. "What the f*ck? Where the hell am I?" Jericho proceeded to look down at the person lying next to him, and fell out of the bed in sheer shock.
Meanwhile, Edge and Christian woke up, not in their hotel rooms but behind a dumpster outside a beauty salon. Realizing this, they became nervous, and curious as to how they had got there.
"Dude, how did we get here?" Edge asked his brother, panic evident in his voice.
"I don't know, but this dumpster reeks of garbage-ness. Let's so totally back away from it." Christian said, moving away from the extremely smelly dumpster.
"Christian, we should find away back to the hotel right-"
"After we get our hair done." Christian ordered, noticing the hair salon, and pulling Edge into it.
Meanwhile, in Stephanie's hotel room, all hell had broken loose. Glass was shattered, vases broken, lamps busted. What caused it? No, no it was no Hurricane . . . it was . . .
"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU PIECE OF SLIME! OH MY GOD, I CAN'T BELIVE THIS! THIS IS YOUR FAULT! YOU MUST HAVE TALKED ME INTO THIS!" Stephanie shrieked, chucking another vase across the room.
"ME A PIECE A SLIME? HAVE YOU LOOKED IN THE MIRROR LATELY, YOU TRASH BAG HO! HELL NO, THIS AIN'T MY FAULT! I'M A LIVING LEGEND, AND I WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING THIS STUPID OR ANYONE THIS SKANKY! YOU MUSTA DRUGGED ME! DAMN YOU, HO!" Jericho yelled, pointing a finger. (not gonna mention which one . . . heh)
"GET OUT JERICHO, OR I'LL HAVE MY DADDY FIRE YOU! I SAID GET THE HELL OUT!" Stephanie screamed, most likely screeching her lungs out. She prepared to throw a lamp at him if he didn't cooperate.
"YOU THINK I WANT TO STAY! EW, I CAN'T BELIVE I SLEPT WITH A FITHY, DIRTY, DISTUSTING, SKANKY, NO GOOD BOTTOM FEEDING, TRASH BAG HO!" Jericho shouted, as he left the room red faced, yet still in a state of shock.
Back with E & C, it's now two hours later. Edge and Christian came out with freshly washed and trimmed hair, although it looked the same as it always did, they on the other hand thought the hair dresser was a total genius for what she had done. They called her work a masterpiece, which should be displayed to the entire world.
"Dude, now that we have our hair done, we SO totally can't deprive all those full on scorch cakes out there, of our beautiful golden locks. How bout we go to the beach?" Edge suggested confidently.
"I SO totally agree with you! Not only are we reeking of awesomeness today, but we are reeking of hotness, and coolness!" Christian agreed, smiling proudly.
"I don't know about you, but I reek of that every day." Edge said, smiling, and pulling on his pair of black sunglasses. (Onthaedge487- You know the ones. *swoons*)
After a few hours they finally made it to the beach, since they stopped in several stores for sunglasses, trench coats, crazy hats, and at their hotel to shower, and get their bathing suits.
*At the Beach*
Christian glanced over to Edge, about to ask him something, but noticed there was something on his back as Edge took his shirt off. "Edge you got a tattoo!" Christian exclaimed, pointing to Edge's back, then began to off his own shirt.
Just as he was about to reply, he turn around and notices something on Christian's back as well when he took his shirt of. "Dude, so did you! So, what does mine say?"
"I'm reeking of awesomeness, what does mine say?" Christian replied
"I'm reeking of coolness, now what does mine say?!" Edge said, getting a little annoyed.
"I know that! I'm reeking of awesomeness, now what about mine?"
Christian answered, also getting pissed off.
"Thank you captain obvious! I'm r-e-e-k-i-n-g o-f -c-o-o-l-n-e- s-s!" Edge said it extra slow for emphasis. "HOW BOUT MINE?"
"NO SHIT! I'm r-e-e-k-i-n-g o-f -a-w-e-s-o-m-e-n-e-s-s! What about my tattoo?" Christian said, also talking extra slow as if his brother was a two year old.
"That's it . . ." Edge said through gritted teeth. He got so pissed off that he grabbed Christian in a headlock, while Christian tried to fight out it by elbowing Edge in his bare stomach. Edge started to punch Christian in his stomach with his free hand, all the while arguing over each other's tattoo's.
"Would you please SHUT THE HELL UP?!" Y2J yelled, walking over, but looking rather traumatized.
"Thank you! Geez, how dense are you! I guess they call you the valley girls for a reason! Okay I'm gonna make it nice simple. Edge, your tattoo says reeking of awesomeness, and Christian, yours says reeking of coolness. Any questions?" Lita said in a harsh tone, saying her words extra slow, like they were incapable 2 year olds, and muttering 'dumb blondes' under her breath.
"Yeah, I got a question!" Christian yelled, raising his hand as if in school. "How come Edge got the better tattoo? It looks better! I want it, I want it!" He whined, starting to throw a tantrum.
"Would you p-p-p . . . to weak, can't go on." Jericho stuttered in a whisper.
"I am SO totally reeking of awesomeness, that's why my tattoo looks SO good! But, why the hell doesn't it say I'm reeking of hotness too?" Edge asked, also getting a little pissed, and really confused.
"IT'S HOPELESS! DO EITHER OF YOU HAVE A BRAIN CELL?" Lita screamed, pounding her head on a nearby table.
At hearing this Christian stopped in mid tantrum. "Edge, what's that noise, I'm scared! Edge hold me!" He quickly jumped into Edge's arms.
"DUDE, GET HELL OFF ME! GET A GRIP, IT'S ONLY LITA BANGING HER HEAD AGIANST A TABLE! UH, LITA? LITA?" Edge yelled into Lita's ear but go no response for some time. He dropped Christian to the ground with a thud.
Lita was too busy incoherently mumbling to herself as she began to bang her head harder and harder. "WHY ME? WHY THE HELL ME? I THOUGHT JEFF WAS BAD, BUT THE THESE TWO TAKE THE CAKE! WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHY?"
"Cake? Where? Dude, I'm SO totally craving cake!" Christian exclaimed, hopping up and down in excitement.
"Sweet, let's go!" Edge agreed equally exited. They ran off in search of cake, leaving a twitching Y2J on the ground, and a now unconscious Lita alone. Lita who proceeds to falls on top of Y2J with a plop. All of a sudden Matt comes walking by, in his own little world.
"La, la, la. Hmmm . . . I wonder where Lita is. I never got to give her my special surprise! What the hell? Lita is that you?" Matt said, nearly stumbling over the fallen Lita and Y2J. "How could you sink that low? That's just nasty, and on the beach to! You know this is a public place! Children are watching!" He ran away screaming only to bump into . . .
*In a Rental Car*
"Where in the blue hell is the bakery? The Rock needs his pie! If this damn jabroni in front doesn't start to move, the Rock is gonna get out of his car, take that stop sign over there, shine it up real nice, turn it sideways, and stick it straight up his candy ass! And what in the blue hell is up with that motorcycle?! Only a sick freak would drive something like that!" The Rock muttered, getting impatient as the car in front of him wasn't moving during the green light.
*In the Hurri- Cycle*
"Citizen Jeff, I think we've run out of gas. I'll have to use my Hurri- powers to transport us safely to a gas station, or we will be stuck on this road forever!"
Jeff, who was sitting in the little passenger/sidekick seat of the Hurri- Cycle eyes bulged. "Forever?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Wait, um Hurricane? What's that little red light next to the 'P' mean?" Jeff asked staring at the 'P', meaning the parking break is on.
"Um, I'm not sure what that means. WAZUPWITDAT? Hey, why is the guy behind us getting out of his car?" Hurricane noticed an angry looking man getting out of his car and making his way to them.
"He looks angry. I still can't figure out what this damn 'P' means!" Jeff yelled turning his attention back to the red light by the 'P' sign.
"Fear not Citizen Jeff Hardy, I'll um . . ."
"WHAT IN THE BLUE HELL DO YOU TWO JABRONIS' THINK YOU'RE DOING? The Rock is waiting to get his pie, and what are you jabronis' doing? You're sitting around playing super hero, and holding up the line! Now if you don't start this car the Rock is going to whoop your candy ass like it's never been whooped before!" Rock warned, extremely pissed.
"That's just it Citizen Rock. We seem to have run out of gas!"
The Rock peered into the Hurri-cycle and looked at the gas gauge (the thingy that tells you how much gas you have left) and the tank was just about full. He then looked over to where Jeff was looking. He noticed the parking break was on, and completely blew up.
"What you jabronis' have failed to realize is that you have had the parking break on for the last ten minutes! The Rock says you are the dumbest people he's ever seen in his entire life, and that includes Pee Wee Herman! Now take the damn parking break off so the Rock can go to the bakery and get his damn pie!" The Rock exclaimed, getting red in the face. (A/N-Not exactly sure if the Hurri-cycle would have a parking break, but for the sake of the fic let's just pretend, K?)
"But Rock we don't have any gas, how are we gonna go?" Jeff asked, looking very confused.
"That's it, JUST BRING IT JABRONI!" Rock challenged, about to lunge at Jeff.
"Thanks for your help Citizen Rock, and don't mind Jeff, he was dropped on his head as a child. We'll be going." Hurricane said hurriedly, turning the parking break off and setting the cycle into drive. He then drove away as fast as he could without breaking the speed limit. (that's un- super hero like ya know.)
"Damn jabronies. I shoulda whooped their candy asses all over Cancun!" The Rock mumbled to himself, now back in his car and nearing the bakery. "Ah, here it is." He parked his car in the bakery parking lot and entered the small shop.
"Um, may I help you sir?" The Guy at the cash register asked, looking oddly at the Rock who had his eyes closed, head up, sniffing the air (like he does on TV).
"Finally, the Rock has come back to . . ." The Rock pauses as he looks at the name of the bakery. "Jose's Bakery Sombrero. What in the blue hell kind of name is that?" He unintentionally did the People's Eyebrow in curiosity.
"If you didn't notice sir, the building is in the shape of a huge sombrero." The Guy at the cash register responded.
"Well that's just sick. Now jabroni, the Rock has come to get his pie. Get your candy ass moving and show the Rock the pie selection."
"Um, sir, we're all out of pie. But we do . . ."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOA! You are telling the Rock that he came all this way to get pie and you jabron's don't have any!"
"Well we do . . ."
"What's your name jabroni?" Rock asked suddenly.
"It happens to be Jos-"
"IT DOSEN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!" The Rock yelled, interrupting Jose, also known as Guy at cash register.
"Well as I was saying, we do have cakes, brownies, Mexican pastries, cookies, um, and one of our specialties, STRUDEL." Jose said smiling.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOA! Did the Rock hear you right? The Rock doesn't eat STRUDEL, he eats PIE! What in the bluest of blue hell kind of bakery is this that doesn't have pie? And from the looks of you jabroni, you definitely like strudel!" The Rock answered, disgusted.
"What's wrong with strudel? I think it's a-"
"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK! Now if you don't go get the Rock some pie the Rock is going to kick your candy ass all over this bakery, you sick freak!" Rock shouted, glaring at Jose.
"I told you we don't have any pie. I can't do anything about that sir." Jose replied, getting annoyed.
"That's it. JUST BRING IT, JABRONI!" Rock challenged, doing the 'Just Bring It' hand movement.
"Um, okay." Jose pondered. "Oh I know how to answer this!" He said looking proud. It's already been broughten!" Jose exclaimed, doing 'the' finger snap in front of his face, & attempting to look tough.
"What in the blue hell are you talking about jabroni? The Rock told you to bring it, not to act like a wannabe cheerleader from a movie." The Rock stated, looking somewhat confused.
"Oh well I personally thought Not Another Teen Movie was exce-" Jose began but was cut off when The Rock flipped him over the counter and proceeded to give him a 'Rock Bottom'.
"LOOK, LOOK J.R.!" King screamed, nearly pissing his tights. "IT'S THE ROCK! HE JUST ROCK BOTTOMED THE GUY AT THE REGISTER!" He yelled excitedly as he walked into the sombrero shaped bakery, followed by J.R.
"He's about to perform the most electrifying move in all of sports and entertainment!" J.R. declared, as they say down at a small table off to the side.
"Damn straight, jabroni!" Rock agreed, overhearing the 'commentary' as he pretended to take off an elbow pad as if he was in the ring in his gear.
"And there it is King! The Peoples' Elbow, the Peoples' Elbow!" J.R. exclaimed.
By now a large crowd was huddled outside of the bakery peering in through the window. They erupted as the Rock raised his hands in victory.
AN- So many unanswered questions in this chapter. What is Matt's surprise for Lita? Will Matt and Lita ever hook up? Who did Matt bump into? What has Kurt been plotting against Lita? Does anyone give a damn about Kurt? (All- NO!) Will the Rock get his pie? (Rock- The Rock says he will get his damned pie even if he has to kick all your candy asses! *looking at all the superstars*) Will Austin ever stop getting drunk? (Austin- HELL NO!) Do Y2J and Steph have hidden feelings for each other? Wait, how did that one get in there? It seems like they hate the sight of each other. But then again they did sleep together, drunk, or not. Thank you to the people who submitted ideas & of course to those of you who reviewed. We already had most of this chapter written so most of your ideas will be used in later chapters. The offer still stands. If you would like to see any particular superstar in this story, or have any ideas for it then feel free to put it in you review. Anywayz, please read and review and um, actually that's it . . . yeah. Toodelz! ; )
Chapter 5
Rocky's Pastry Adventure
Day 2 (wrap up) & 3
By- onthaedge487 & live4thaxtreme
Disclaimer- We don't own anyone K? Oh, & we don't own the movie 'Dude Where's My Car?' . . . ROTFLMAO, during it! We got some of our ideas for this chap. from it, and we actually took some lines from it and changed them around, but it was just in fun so DON'T SUE! It's not like you'd get much anyway. Any who hope you enjoy our sad attempt at humor.
"Hi Mattie! I've been waiting for ya to get home! Do you like how I redecorated the hotel room?" Jeff asked beaming proudly.
"WHY THE HELL DID YOU FILL THE ROOM WITH SAND?" Matt screamed, standing frozen in the doorway staring into what was a clean hotel room, now covered in sand.
"Look, I put all the sand on the floor so it feels like we're at the beach without actually being their! OH AND WE CAN MAKE SANDCASTLES! Oh, did you see what I did to the walls?" Jeff exclaimed excitedly, puffing out his chest with pride.
"T-t-h-h-e walls?" Matt stuttered, and now beginning to hyper ventilate as he glanced up at the walls.
"Do you like 'em? I painted them myself! This one's a sunny day, and this one's a sunset, and this one's an overcast sky, and this one's a stormy sky!" Jeff informed, pointing to the different walls which each had a different kind of sky, which could be seen at the beach.
"I'm dreaming! Tell me I'm dreaming! Somebody pinch me! OW! I didn't actually mean for you to pinch me Jeff! Jeffery Nero Hardy, do you know, you ruined the very expensive hotel's walls. And do you know how long it will take to get all this f*cking sand out of the room?" Matt asked as his voice shook, and breathed heavily.
"But, but, Mattie, I didn't mean to. I thought you would like it. Anyway, I had a rush of creativity when I painted it, and I didn't have any paper, and I spotted the walls." Jeff replied, looking extremely sad and hurt.
"Ah, screw it. We'll just leave the sand here. It was very thoughtful of you Jeff, and actually, one of your brighter ideas. Hey, maybe the hotel will like what you did to 'em. I mean it does look really cool." Matt's tone lightened, as he looked over the walls, then gave Jeff a smile.
"Thanks big bro. Geez, I thought you were gonna have a heart attack when you saw what I did."
"Me too." Matt agreed, and seconds later they both cracked up.
"Hey, will you help me build a sandcastle? I'm no good at it on my own."
"Well . . . oh, why the hell not?" Matt agreed, and with that the brothers began to build a huge sandcastle, before bed. (Not very funny we know, we just had to put it in. Come on, they gotta spend some quality time together, may it be building sandcastles, it had to happen. *cricket noises* Yes we are insane, so keep reading).
*In a Different Hotel Room*
Kurt Angle yawned as it was well passed his bed time. The only reason he was up so late was that he was perfecting his plan to ruin Lita! He grinned evilly at the thought. Angle poured his warmed milk into a glass, picked up his plate of chocolate chip cookies, walked over to his comfy bed. He then discarded his fluffy pink robe, and fluffy pink bunny slippers, revealing matching pink bunny PJ's.
"Oh, don't worry Mr. Fluffums that evil Lita will get what's coming to her, don't you worry. Then daddy will go out and buy some new thongs to celebrate." Angle promised as he crawled into bed and pulled a large, fluffy pink bunny, with a bald spot at the top of it's head, close to him, and snuggled it. (getting the idea he likes pink . . . & bunnies? *shudders* Oh & his bunny needed to be bald too since Kurt is even though he at times denies it.)
"I'M NOT BALD! LOOK AT MY FULL HEAD OF HAIR!" Angle yelled up at the authors, adjusting his wig.
"Whatever Angle, would you please shut the hell up so I can continue?" Live4thaXtreme replies as Angle nods. "Anywayz . . ."
Mr. Fluffums- . . . . . .
"What was that Mr. Fluffums? What if she catches on? Oh don't worry Mr. Fluffums; she'll never catch on, because I'm an Olympic genius!"
Mr. Fluffums- . . . . .
"I knew you would see it my way. But I couldn't have done it without all your help. Here have a cookie, and could I tempt you with some milk?" Angle asked, shoving a cookie at the stuffed bunny, and attempting to feed it to him. Once Angle, fell asleep . . .
"Hey! What about Mr. Fluffums?!" Angle yelled, looking angrily at the Authors.
"Geez, soorrrrry! Don't get your thong in a twist. As I was saying . . ." Onthaedge487 continued typing, clearly annoyed with the interruptions.
Once Angle annnnnd Mr. Fluffums fell asleep, (Onthaedge487 & Live4thaXtreme- Happy now? *Angle nods*) Angle began to dream. Angle, being the dork he is (Angle- HEY! That's Olympic dork to you! . . . Wait a minute . . .) was dreaming about his 'plan to ruin Lita', and started talking in his sleep.
"Mr. Fluffums, get the milk truck! Quick, before she gets away! Where's the dern hose?! Snore. Ha, I got you now, you thong stealing red haired meanie! How do you like that Lita! Snore. GOT MILK?! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Snnnnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooorrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeee."
*The Next Morning* (day 3- for anyone who's as confused as us)
"Yawn! Man, what a night. I was so hammered I have no friggin' idea what I did. Yawn." Y2J said sleepily, rubbing his eyes. He then sat up in the bed, stretched and looked around the unfamiliar hotel room with blurry eyes. "What the f*ck? Where the hell am I?" Jericho proceeded to look down at the person lying next to him, and fell out of the bed in sheer shock.
Meanwhile, Edge and Christian woke up, not in their hotel rooms but behind a dumpster outside a beauty salon. Realizing this, they became nervous, and curious as to how they had got there.
"Dude, how did we get here?" Edge asked his brother, panic evident in his voice.
"I don't know, but this dumpster reeks of garbage-ness. Let's so totally back away from it." Christian said, moving away from the extremely smelly dumpster.
"Christian, we should find away back to the hotel right-"
"After we get our hair done." Christian ordered, noticing the hair salon, and pulling Edge into it.
Meanwhile, in Stephanie's hotel room, all hell had broken loose. Glass was shattered, vases broken, lamps busted. What caused it? No, no it was no Hurricane . . . it was . . .
"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU PIECE OF SLIME! OH MY GOD, I CAN'T BELIVE THIS! THIS IS YOUR FAULT! YOU MUST HAVE TALKED ME INTO THIS!" Stephanie shrieked, chucking another vase across the room.
"ME A PIECE A SLIME? HAVE YOU LOOKED IN THE MIRROR LATELY, YOU TRASH BAG HO! HELL NO, THIS AIN'T MY FAULT! I'M A LIVING LEGEND, AND I WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING THIS STUPID OR ANYONE THIS SKANKY! YOU MUSTA DRUGGED ME! DAMN YOU, HO!" Jericho yelled, pointing a finger. (not gonna mention which one . . . heh)
"GET OUT JERICHO, OR I'LL HAVE MY DADDY FIRE YOU! I SAID GET THE HELL OUT!" Stephanie screamed, most likely screeching her lungs out. She prepared to throw a lamp at him if he didn't cooperate.
"YOU THINK I WANT TO STAY! EW, I CAN'T BELIVE I SLEPT WITH A FITHY, DIRTY, DISTUSTING, SKANKY, NO GOOD BOTTOM FEEDING, TRASH BAG HO!" Jericho shouted, as he left the room red faced, yet still in a state of shock.
Back with E & C, it's now two hours later. Edge and Christian came out with freshly washed and trimmed hair, although it looked the same as it always did, they on the other hand thought the hair dresser was a total genius for what she had done. They called her work a masterpiece, which should be displayed to the entire world.
"Dude, now that we have our hair done, we SO totally can't deprive all those full on scorch cakes out there, of our beautiful golden locks. How bout we go to the beach?" Edge suggested confidently.
"I SO totally agree with you! Not only are we reeking of awesomeness today, but we are reeking of hotness, and coolness!" Christian agreed, smiling proudly.
"I don't know about you, but I reek of that every day." Edge said, smiling, and pulling on his pair of black sunglasses. (Onthaedge487- You know the ones. *swoons*)
After a few hours they finally made it to the beach, since they stopped in several stores for sunglasses, trench coats, crazy hats, and at their hotel to shower, and get their bathing suits.
*At the Beach*
Christian glanced over to Edge, about to ask him something, but noticed there was something on his back as Edge took his shirt off. "Edge you got a tattoo!" Christian exclaimed, pointing to Edge's back, then began to off his own shirt.
Just as he was about to reply, he turn around and notices something on Christian's back as well when he took his shirt of. "Dude, so did you! So, what does mine say?"
"I'm reeking of awesomeness, what does mine say?" Christian replied
"I'm reeking of coolness, now what does mine say?!" Edge said, getting a little annoyed.
"I know that! I'm reeking of awesomeness, now what about mine?"
Christian answered, also getting pissed off.
"Thank you captain obvious! I'm r-e-e-k-i-n-g o-f -c-o-o-l-n-e- s-s!" Edge said it extra slow for emphasis. "HOW BOUT MINE?"
"NO SHIT! I'm r-e-e-k-i-n-g o-f -a-w-e-s-o-m-e-n-e-s-s! What about my tattoo?" Christian said, also talking extra slow as if his brother was a two year old.
"That's it . . ." Edge said through gritted teeth. He got so pissed off that he grabbed Christian in a headlock, while Christian tried to fight out it by elbowing Edge in his bare stomach. Edge started to punch Christian in his stomach with his free hand, all the while arguing over each other's tattoo's.
"Would you please SHUT THE HELL UP?!" Y2J yelled, walking over, but looking rather traumatized.
"Thank you! Geez, how dense are you! I guess they call you the valley girls for a reason! Okay I'm gonna make it nice simple. Edge, your tattoo says reeking of awesomeness, and Christian, yours says reeking of coolness. Any questions?" Lita said in a harsh tone, saying her words extra slow, like they were incapable 2 year olds, and muttering 'dumb blondes' under her breath.
"Yeah, I got a question!" Christian yelled, raising his hand as if in school. "How come Edge got the better tattoo? It looks better! I want it, I want it!" He whined, starting to throw a tantrum.
"Would you p-p-p . . . to weak, can't go on." Jericho stuttered in a whisper.
"I am SO totally reeking of awesomeness, that's why my tattoo looks SO good! But, why the hell doesn't it say I'm reeking of hotness too?" Edge asked, also getting a little pissed, and really confused.
"IT'S HOPELESS! DO EITHER OF YOU HAVE A BRAIN CELL?" Lita screamed, pounding her head on a nearby table.
At hearing this Christian stopped in mid tantrum. "Edge, what's that noise, I'm scared! Edge hold me!" He quickly jumped into Edge's arms.
"DUDE, GET HELL OFF ME! GET A GRIP, IT'S ONLY LITA BANGING HER HEAD AGIANST A TABLE! UH, LITA? LITA?" Edge yelled into Lita's ear but go no response for some time. He dropped Christian to the ground with a thud.
Lita was too busy incoherently mumbling to herself as she began to bang her head harder and harder. "WHY ME? WHY THE HELL ME? I THOUGHT JEFF WAS BAD, BUT THE THESE TWO TAKE THE CAKE! WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHY?"
"Cake? Where? Dude, I'm SO totally craving cake!" Christian exclaimed, hopping up and down in excitement.
"Sweet, let's go!" Edge agreed equally exited. They ran off in search of cake, leaving a twitching Y2J on the ground, and a now unconscious Lita alone. Lita who proceeds to falls on top of Y2J with a plop. All of a sudden Matt comes walking by, in his own little world.
"La, la, la. Hmmm . . . I wonder where Lita is. I never got to give her my special surprise! What the hell? Lita is that you?" Matt said, nearly stumbling over the fallen Lita and Y2J. "How could you sink that low? That's just nasty, and on the beach to! You know this is a public place! Children are watching!" He ran away screaming only to bump into . . .
*In a Rental Car*
"Where in the blue hell is the bakery? The Rock needs his pie! If this damn jabroni in front doesn't start to move, the Rock is gonna get out of his car, take that stop sign over there, shine it up real nice, turn it sideways, and stick it straight up his candy ass! And what in the blue hell is up with that motorcycle?! Only a sick freak would drive something like that!" The Rock muttered, getting impatient as the car in front of him wasn't moving during the green light.
*In the Hurri- Cycle*
"Citizen Jeff, I think we've run out of gas. I'll have to use my Hurri- powers to transport us safely to a gas station, or we will be stuck on this road forever!"
Jeff, who was sitting in the little passenger/sidekick seat of the Hurri- Cycle eyes bulged. "Forever?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Wait, um Hurricane? What's that little red light next to the 'P' mean?" Jeff asked staring at the 'P', meaning the parking break is on.
"Um, I'm not sure what that means. WAZUPWITDAT? Hey, why is the guy behind us getting out of his car?" Hurricane noticed an angry looking man getting out of his car and making his way to them.
"He looks angry. I still can't figure out what this damn 'P' means!" Jeff yelled turning his attention back to the red light by the 'P' sign.
"Fear not Citizen Jeff Hardy, I'll um . . ."
"WHAT IN THE BLUE HELL DO YOU TWO JABRONIS' THINK YOU'RE DOING? The Rock is waiting to get his pie, and what are you jabronis' doing? You're sitting around playing super hero, and holding up the line! Now if you don't start this car the Rock is going to whoop your candy ass like it's never been whooped before!" Rock warned, extremely pissed.
"That's just it Citizen Rock. We seem to have run out of gas!"
The Rock peered into the Hurri-cycle and looked at the gas gauge (the thingy that tells you how much gas you have left) and the tank was just about full. He then looked over to where Jeff was looking. He noticed the parking break was on, and completely blew up.
"What you jabronis' have failed to realize is that you have had the parking break on for the last ten minutes! The Rock says you are the dumbest people he's ever seen in his entire life, and that includes Pee Wee Herman! Now take the damn parking break off so the Rock can go to the bakery and get his damn pie!" The Rock exclaimed, getting red in the face. (A/N-Not exactly sure if the Hurri-cycle would have a parking break, but for the sake of the fic let's just pretend, K?)
"But Rock we don't have any gas, how are we gonna go?" Jeff asked, looking very confused.
"That's it, JUST BRING IT JABRONI!" Rock challenged, about to lunge at Jeff.
"Thanks for your help Citizen Rock, and don't mind Jeff, he was dropped on his head as a child. We'll be going." Hurricane said hurriedly, turning the parking break off and setting the cycle into drive. He then drove away as fast as he could without breaking the speed limit. (that's un- super hero like ya know.)
"Damn jabronies. I shoulda whooped their candy asses all over Cancun!" The Rock mumbled to himself, now back in his car and nearing the bakery. "Ah, here it is." He parked his car in the bakery parking lot and entered the small shop.
"Um, may I help you sir?" The Guy at the cash register asked, looking oddly at the Rock who had his eyes closed, head up, sniffing the air (like he does on TV).
"Finally, the Rock has come back to . . ." The Rock pauses as he looks at the name of the bakery. "Jose's Bakery Sombrero. What in the blue hell kind of name is that?" He unintentionally did the People's Eyebrow in curiosity.
"If you didn't notice sir, the building is in the shape of a huge sombrero." The Guy at the cash register responded.
"Well that's just sick. Now jabroni, the Rock has come to get his pie. Get your candy ass moving and show the Rock the pie selection."
"Um, sir, we're all out of pie. But we do . . ."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOA! You are telling the Rock that he came all this way to get pie and you jabron's don't have any!"
"Well we do . . ."
"What's your name jabroni?" Rock asked suddenly.
"It happens to be Jos-"
"IT DOSEN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!" The Rock yelled, interrupting Jose, also known as Guy at cash register.
"Well as I was saying, we do have cakes, brownies, Mexican pastries, cookies, um, and one of our specialties, STRUDEL." Jose said smiling.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOA! Did the Rock hear you right? The Rock doesn't eat STRUDEL, he eats PIE! What in the bluest of blue hell kind of bakery is this that doesn't have pie? And from the looks of you jabroni, you definitely like strudel!" The Rock answered, disgusted.
"What's wrong with strudel? I think it's a-"
"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK! Now if you don't go get the Rock some pie the Rock is going to kick your candy ass all over this bakery, you sick freak!" Rock shouted, glaring at Jose.
"I told you we don't have any pie. I can't do anything about that sir." Jose replied, getting annoyed.
"That's it. JUST BRING IT, JABRONI!" Rock challenged, doing the 'Just Bring It' hand movement.
"Um, okay." Jose pondered. "Oh I know how to answer this!" He said looking proud. It's already been broughten!" Jose exclaimed, doing 'the' finger snap in front of his face, & attempting to look tough.
"What in the blue hell are you talking about jabroni? The Rock told you to bring it, not to act like a wannabe cheerleader from a movie." The Rock stated, looking somewhat confused.
"Oh well I personally thought Not Another Teen Movie was exce-" Jose began but was cut off when The Rock flipped him over the counter and proceeded to give him a 'Rock Bottom'.
"LOOK, LOOK J.R.!" King screamed, nearly pissing his tights. "IT'S THE ROCK! HE JUST ROCK BOTTOMED THE GUY AT THE REGISTER!" He yelled excitedly as he walked into the sombrero shaped bakery, followed by J.R.
"He's about to perform the most electrifying move in all of sports and entertainment!" J.R. declared, as they say down at a small table off to the side.
"Damn straight, jabroni!" Rock agreed, overhearing the 'commentary' as he pretended to take off an elbow pad as if he was in the ring in his gear.
"And there it is King! The Peoples' Elbow, the Peoples' Elbow!" J.R. exclaimed.
By now a large crowd was huddled outside of the bakery peering in through the window. They erupted as the Rock raised his hands in victory.
AN- So many unanswered questions in this chapter. What is Matt's surprise for Lita? Will Matt and Lita ever hook up? Who did Matt bump into? What has Kurt been plotting against Lita? Does anyone give a damn about Kurt? (All- NO!) Will the Rock get his pie? (Rock- The Rock says he will get his damned pie even if he has to kick all your candy asses! *looking at all the superstars*) Will Austin ever stop getting drunk? (Austin- HELL NO!) Do Y2J and Steph have hidden feelings for each other? Wait, how did that one get in there? It seems like they hate the sight of each other. But then again they did sleep together, drunk, or not. Thank you to the people who submitted ideas & of course to those of you who reviewed. We already had most of this chapter written so most of your ideas will be used in later chapters. The offer still stands. If you would like to see any particular superstar in this story, or have any ideas for it then feel free to put it in you review. Anywayz, please read and review and um, actually that's it . . . yeah. Toodelz! ; )