WWE Spring Break in Cancun
Chapter 10
Freaks, Blondes & Mannequins
(Day 4~ it's almost done . . . 1 more part to go)
~*~IMPORTANT WARNING~*~
There is some STRONG LANGUAGE in this chapter, as well as some REALLY *GROSS* parts (it's pretty bad this time). We suggest that you do not read this while eating, before you eat or after you've eaten as it might cause you to loose your lunch. If you have a strong stomach then good for you. You'll see what we mean . . . we are apologizing for anything that may offend anyone, or may gross anyone out in advance. Um, we kinda wrote most of this at late hours, so we were tired, crazy & hyper. We think this is moderately funny, but you may not, it depends on what you find humorous, so if you don't like it then don't read it. Sorry about making the group date sooooo long. It's going to be in THREE Parts. This is the second, so we only have ONE more to go. It was just WAY too LONG to post as one chapter, because we seemed to have a lot of ideas for this particular portion of the story. *shrugz* We'll we're back if anyone missed us . . . so read on!
Special Guest: aZrAeL
~*~ Author's Notes & Disclaimer ~*~
Angle~ "Do you think it's contagious, DO YOU?" *brandishing his arm in front of OnthaEdge487 who was downing a beer*
aZrAeL ~ "Wait . . . your not old enough to drink yet!" *grabs beer can away from OnthaEdge487 and throws it, accidentally hitting Angle* "Oh well . . . anything could repel off of that chrome dome of his anyways."
Live4thaXtreme~ "Wait . . . how in the bluest of blue hell did you get up here Angle? I LOCKED THE DAMN DOOR!"
Bradshaw ~ "Fish."
Faarooq ~ "WHAT?!"
Bradshaw ~ "I said, go fish. Geez, check your battery man."
Faarooq~ "Well I'll be damned . . ."
Angle~ "Ah have just been violated . . . AND NO ONE GIVES A WHOOPTY DAMN DOO! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU PEOPLE! I'M AN OLYMIC HERO, AND YOU PEOPLE COULD CARE LESS THAT I COULD HAVE BABIES!"
OnthaEdge487~ "It's rabies you dipshit! Oi vey, it's gonna be a long night." *smacks her forehead* Live4thaXtreme~ "Who's having a baby? Where?" *OnthaEdge487 smacks her upside the head* "OOWWW! Did you know if you get hit in the head you loose brain cells? HA, I bet ya didn't know that!"
OnthaEdge487~ "Not like it applies to you anyway . . . brain cells, what brain cells? Ha! Anywayz, when I become QUEEN of the WORLD, I will rule all . . ."
Faarooq~ "Aw hell no, not this again!"
Bradshaw~ "What our lovely author is trying to say is, she doesn't own shit, and the same goes for he assclown of a sidekick Live4thaXtreme."
Angle~ "It's true, it's DAMN true!"
Bradshaw~ "Wait a damn minute . . . did I just say assclown? Oh hell . . . they're getting to me . . . Faarooq . . . GET THE THERMOMETER!" *he faints as Faarooq walks off to get a thermometer, shaking his head in disgust*
aZrAeL ~ "Question: Am I the only sane person here?" *OnthaEdge487, Live4thaXtreme and Angle all stare at her blankly* "Guess so . . . wonderful . . . first I'm stuck with Pyper, now these moronic rejects. Great."
*Suddenly the door bursts open, and figure walks in with loud music is blaring from a large boom box that is being held over the person's shoulder.* Live4thaXtreme~ "HEY, AH SAID NO VISITERS, SO GET THE F OUT! Got it budd- OH MY GOODNESS!"
OnthaEdge487~ "And what in the blue hell is you problem, Liv?"
Live4thaXtreme~ "Hubbada hubbada . . ." *drools*
OnthaEdge487~ *turns around* "OH MY . . . DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE?!" *faints*
aZrAeL ~ "Well duh . . . why me, really why? What the hell did I do to deserve this? I mean I only kept the whole WWE roster in the same plane for an extended period of time during a storm, made them watch the Scorpion King . . . okay disregard everything I just said.
?~ "Wrong place apparently . . ."
~*~
"SO WHAT YOU GUYS WANT TO EAT?" Matt screamed down the table.
"The Rock says to get something cause he's hungry."
"GET SOMETHING WE CAN ALL EAT." Big Show suggested.
"GET BEER TOO!" Austin ordered.
"HELL YEAH!" Molly agreed.
"AND SKITTLES!"
"Jeff, this is a Chinese restaurant, they don't have skittles here." Matt informed his brother.
"But Matt. . ."
"Be quiet Jeff, you'll eat what I order." After a while, they order and start to talk amongst themselves before they eat.
"Sooooo Torrie, when are we gonna get some alone time to . . . ya know . . . get to know each other better." Big Show said wiggling his eyebrows.
"EWWWWWWWW! I would never . . . you and me . . . ewwwwwwwww . . . hell no! I need to go to the ladies room!" She choked out, and then dashed off to the woman's room to throw up.
"Must you . . . *hiccup* . . . constantly sniff . . .*belch* . . . that white out?" Molly asked, completely drunk on the beer she had brought with her.
"Well . . . uh . . . *sniff* duh. Whiteout . . . is *sniff* my . . . uh life." RVD answered, almost offended.
"Fine. OH CRAP, I DON'T *hiccup* HAVE ANY *hiccup* MORE BEER! NOOOOOOOOOO! HEY AUSTIN, DO YOU GOT ANYMORE BEER?!" Molly asked, her voice trembling.
"WHAT?! I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA BRING THE EXTRA BEER! WHAT?!"
"No, you said you were gonna! THIS IS JUST GREAT! I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT MY BEER!" Molly says starting to twitch. "OH MY GOD, I'M BEGINNING TO SOBER! NOOOOOOO!"
"Must have beer. Must have beer. Must have beer." Austin whispered desperately.
"Now, now dear, we'll just ask the waiter to get some beer. I'm sure they have some." Debra said pulling him into a hug as he began to cry.
"YOU JABRONIS ARE WORRIED ABOUT BEER? FORGET BEER, THE ROCK NEEDS HIS PIE! THE ROCK IS IN MAJOR WITHDRAWAL HERE, AND ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS BEER!! SOMEBODY GIVE THE ROCK HIS PIE!!" The Rock whined, as everyone stared at him.
"Rocky, meet me in the bathroom in five minutes, and you'll get you're pie." Jazz whispered.
"HOW COULD SOMETHING LIKE YOU HELP ME? AND WHICH BATHROOM WERE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT, JABRONI?" Rock inquired, doing the People's Eyebrow.
"Fine loser, the offer still stands, so if you want me I'll be in the bathroom." Jazz said walking away.
"WAIT, WHAT BATHROOM ARE YOU GONNA BE IN? Not . . . uh . . . like I'd take you up on that offer or anything."
Meanwhile in the girl's bathroom, Torrie is in a stall puking at the comment that Big Show had made.
"That was gross, how could he say that, ewwwww, alright well I should get back out there, whew." She flushes the toilet but as she unlocks the stall and walks out, the toilet starts to overflow. "Uh oh, that can't be good. Oh that looks sooooo gross. " She said completely disgusted. The water from the toilet was quickly rising and was now ankle-high. "OH MY GOD! SOMEBODY HELP, THIS IS AN EMERGENCY! HELLLLLLLLP! I NEED HELLLLP! DOES MY HAIR REALLY LOOK LIKE THAT? AHHHHHHHHHH I NEED A BRUSH RIGHT NOW! AND MAKEUP! I LOOK COMPLETELY DISGUSTING, THIS IS TERR . . . IB . . . IB . . . LE, OH IT'S JUST BAD!" Torrie screamed, looking at her reflection in the mirror, not paying attention to the now knee-high toilet water. She began to sift through the trash for any kind of beauty products, hoping to find some lipstick or mascara to touch up her 'horrid' appearance.
Back at the hotel Kurt Angle was yet again mumbling incoherently to his stuffed bunny Mr. Fluffums, about his plan to seek revenge on Lita (A/N- yes people that will happen eventually, we didn't forget!) for burning all of his priceless thongs. "What's wrong with fifty gallons of milk? You said it was a good idea before!" Kurt yelled at Mr. Fluffums.
Mr. Fluffums- . . . . . .
"WHAT? How could you think that? It's a brilliant idea! It's not going to backfire on me! Plus I'm an Olympic Gold Medalist, and I know what the heck I'm talking about. You're just a bunny!" Kurt yelled, pointing at his medals.
Mr. Fluffums- . . . . . .
"Yeah, that's what I said, YOU'RE JUST A BUNNY! You don't know what you're talking about. I'm no fool, I'm an Olympic hero, and I'll be damned if you get in the way of my fun!" Yelled throwing the bunny to the ground.
Mr. Fluffums- . . . . . .
"Yeah, I said you're not gonna get in my way! I'll do whatever I want. It's my way, or the highway buddy." Kurt said, picking up Mr. Fluffums and shaking the bunny, as if to knock some sense into it.
Mr. Fluffums- . . . . . .
"Fine, if you feel that way then well, FINE! I won't sleep with you tonight. What do you mean you get the bed? NOOOOOOOO! Hey, I want the bed, I'm an Olympic . . . what do you mean 'shut the hell up?' Oh you've done it now! I don't have to take this. I'm leaving!" With that Kurt opened the door, planning to leave, but instead walked into the closet. He came out madder than before, realizing what a dumbass he is. Just then Perry Saturn fell out of the open closet door making out with his beloved mop, Moppy.
"What in the heck are you doing in my closet?! Get out! Ewwwww, how could you do that with a filthy mop?!" Kurt asked, totally grossed out.
"Moppy isn't filthy, she's bootyful. Oh, and pigeons poop on people's heads so they can graduate from boarding school. Your welcome!" Perry then rolls out the open window with Moppy. "You can fly right Moppy?" Kurt shakes his head in disgust, and then looks at the clock which reads 7:20 pm.
"Oh poo! It's too late to leave, it's almost my bedtime. Well you know what Mr. Fluffums, I'll sleep in the bathtub, cause I don't want to have to spend anther minute with you!"
Mr. Fluffums- . . . . . .
"Fine, be like that. Oh yeah, well up yours too! Goodnight Mr. Fluffums." Kurt yelled, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
Mr. Fluffums- . . . . . .
Kurt walks into the bathroom and climbs into the bathtub, falling asleep immediately. A few minutes pass by before we hear snoring and some muttering of his plans. "Lita . . . she'll pay . . . for what she did to . . . me. . . I . . . will get . . . my . . . revenge. . ."
*Back at the restaurant*
"WHERE IN THE . . ." Trish began.
"BLUE HELL IS OUR FOOD?" The Rock finished.
"DAMN IT!" Steph shouted, as her face fell in disappointment.
Suddenly a waiter walks up to the table with a plate of fried rice, chicken wings, and an egg roll and placing it in front of Rock.
"WHAT? YOU SON OF A BITCH, THAT'S MY FUCKING FOOD, ASSCLOWN!" Jericho screeched, snatching the plate away. He stood up on the table, holding the plate out of the Rocks reach, as the Great One hopelessly tried to retrieve it.
"OH NO YOU DIDN'T JABRONI, GIMME BACK THAT PLATE! GIMMIE, GIMMIE, GIMMIE! FIRST NO PIE, NOW THIS! YOU'RE ASKING FOR A WHUPPIN!" Rock shouted, brandishing an oversized chicken wing in the direction of Jericho.
Rock and Y2J now start a tug of war with the plate until Y2J's fingers slip and the plate goes flying upside down onto the floor. As this pathetic display is occurring, Melinda starts to come and stands up.
"What, where the hell am I?" Melinda asked, groggily moving over to the superstar's table.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, MY FOOD, THAT'S IT JABRONI!" Rock exclaimed. Just as he's about to hit Y2J with the extremely large chicken wing in his hand, it accidentally slips out of his grip and hits Melinda on the head which causes her to fall to the ground unconscious, again. (A/N- Yeah, we know just keep reading.)
"Nice job, jackass, look at what you did now." Y2J grunted, staring icily at Rocky.
"Shut up jabroni, it was your fault for making me do that." Rock retorted, as the immature bickering continued between the two.
"Dude, think she'll sue?" Edge asked, looking up at the Rock through his sexy black shades. (Like the ones he wears on TV people. *droolz*)
"Hope not, but it's not like I started it anyways." The People's Champ stated rather immaturely.
"Assclown, you're the one who hit her in the head." Y2J yelled at the Great One.
"Tell you what jabroni, I'll kick you in the crotch and we'll call it even, alright." The Rock replied through gritted teeth, glaring at Y2J.
In the bathroom, Torrie is still having a melt down about her appearance, while the water has gotten up to her chest. "There, done, finally. It'll have to do for now, but I'm not going back out there until I get a proper makeover." Torrie declared, as she put the newly found makeup from the trash away in her purse. "Where did all this water come from anyway? Oh well." She shrugged, walking towards the door even though the water has risen up to her neck. "Actually, I should probably get out of this bathroom now, I think." Torrie pondered uncertainly, but used her better judgment and started to push the door. To her surprise the door doesn't budge. "Uh oh, I'm in trouble now. . . Help . . . please."
*At the table*
"Geez, how long can a girl stay in the bathroom?" Big Show asked with a hint of irritability in his deep voice.
"Well, she could be having some problems at the moment." Debra suggested, although Big show looked as if he didn't comprehended.
"Oh, I see what you mean." Big Show said with a confused expression on his face.
"Steve. . . Steve. . . STEVE!" Debra yelled right in Austin's ear, hoping this strategy would be effective.
"Huh, what, what's happening, is the beer here yet?" Austin stirred groggily, waking up with drool dribbling down his face.
"Honey, you fell asleep and no for the last time they don't have beer at this restaurant." Debra informed her twitching husband. All of a sudden a chicken wing soars through the air, flying by and rolls past Debra on the table.
"What the hell?" Austin roared, as he looked down at the table. He watched the mini-catfight displayed before them, as Rock and Y2J pushed each other with much loathe.
"Sorry Austin, it was Rocky." Jericho accused childishly pointing a finger at Rock.
"WHAT? That's it jabroni, you need a whuppin' now and I mean right now." Rock growled, staring the Canadian rock star down. Just then, in a streak of blond, Y2J bolted out the door. The Rock realized this seconds later and was soon at his heels, yelling profanities that best not to be mentioned.
"That was interesting." Christian declared dully.
"Yeah, it sure was oooo a chicken wing, yum." Big Show said, licking his lips. He picked up the chicken wing and ate it whole, bones and all. "What?"
"Nothing, I didn't say anything." Christian answered. Once Big Show turned his attention elsewhere, Christian's features turned sour and mouthed 'Ewwwww that's so totally gross' to his brother Edge. Edge nodded in agreement, completely disgusted by Show's actions as well. Unnoticed to all, Big Show begins to turn a brilliant shade of blue. Gagging noises could be heard, and he looked as if he was making the international choking symbol. (His hands are clutching his throat.) Oddly enough, no one in the large group seems to realize what's going on and continue on with their conversations and bickering.
All of a sudden Rock comes walking back in looking satisfied then stopping mid way as if waiting for something or someone, then Y2J comes limping in with a black eye and holding his . . .
"What happened to you?" Jeff asked, arching an eyebrow.
"Don't . . . even . . . ask." Y2J choked out in reply.
"The jabroni deserved it." The Rock stated, walking back to his seat, and then suddenly tripping over something making him fall to the ground with a thud. "WHO IN THE BLUE HELL PUT THIS GIRL HERE?"
"Hahahahaha." Jericho fell to the ground laughing his ass off. "OWWWW shouldn't . . . have . . . done . . . that, ow."
"Would you excuse me Mattypoo, I have to go use the powder room, but I'll be back before you know it." Stacy exclaimed in a rather annoying high pitched voice. She got up quickly, but as she was heading towards the bathroom she noticed Big Show's odd discoloration and gagging noises. Stacy shrugged it off at first and continued walking, but when she got halfway to the bathroom she could hear him sputtering, when she knew something was wrong. She turned on her heel and ran over to him. "SHOW? SHOW, TALK TO ME? OH MY GOSH I THINK HE'S CHOKING!" Stacy screamed as Big Show hurled himself up from his seat, causing the other superstars to stop what they were doing.
"NOBODY PANIC, I KNOW THE HYMLIC! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY ELF!" Terri declared as she 'hopped' out of her seat and grabbed her walker. Once she made it over to Big Show his face was now the color of macaroni and cheese. With a rush of adrenaline, Terri hoisted up her walker and began whacking the Big Show in the backside with a considerable amount of force.
"HARDER, HARDER!" Rob Van Dam yelled with enthusiasm, and then went back to sniffing his whiteout. This earned him dirty looks from Matt, Lita, Hurricane and Edge, who were totally grossed out. Christian on the other hand . . .
"YEAH, WHAT HE SAID! MAKE IT HARDER BABY, HARDER! PUSH IT PUSH IT! COME ON, HARDER!" Christian screamed at the top of his lungs, practically jumping out of his seat in excitement. Edge smacked him in the back of the head, in disgust.
"Dude, you're not at home with your private porn collection!" Edge admonished, as his face scrunched up in disgust.
"But Edge . . ." Christian whined, as his brother shook his head firmly.
"Who's hard?" Steph asked curiously.
"Good question." Trish said, looking around the table.
"I assure you it isn't me." Jericho informed, looking down for good measure. Out of nowhere Triple H comes up to the table with a take out bag in one hand, his prized sledgehammer in the other.
"I AM THE GAME! YOU DON'T WANNA PLAY ME!"
"OH, I THINK I FOUND OUR ANSWER GUYS! I HEARD THE GAME WAS HARD!!!" Stephanie smirked at her ex-husband, as his eyes flared with anger. Triple H, too tired to get into an argument with her, stalked off.
"Hey good one Steph." Jericho commented. Stephanie dropped the glass of water she had been drinking all over herself, and the table.
"Did hell just freeze over? I think hell just froze over. Oh holly hell, I'm beginning to sober!" Molly yelled from down the table. Jericho just shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, as Stephanie eyed him oddly.
"Yep, hell froze over, pigs are flying, cows are clucking, bunnies are mowing the lawn, ducks are mooing, kangaroos are square-dancing, penguins are pumping gas, and Paul Heyman just won 'Hunk of the Year'." Lita said in awe. Even Jeff looked at her strangely when she was finished with her little speech. "What bitch, what?"
"Oh god, oh god, I think he's dead!!" Dawn screeched, pointing to Big Show, who still had the large chicken bone logged in his throat.
"Have no fear, Hurricane is here!" Hurricane exclaimed, first stopping to do a superhero pose, then running to where Big Show faintly stood, as he was being beaten by Terri and her steel walker. Hurricane moved behind Terri to try and direct her, and . . . BAM! Our poor superhero got whacked in the head with the walker, and is know sprawled out on the floor, unconscious.
"GET OUTTA MY WAY HURRI-DORK, I'M TRYING TO SAVE A LIFE HERE!" Terri screeched at Hurricane's prone form. Matt got up from his seat and helped Hurricane back to the table before anything else could happen to the poor guy.
Terri, who was about to give up, used all her strength, (which isn't very much people) for one last swing. She swung the walker, hitting Show right in the butt, and surprisingly knocking him down, causing the restaurant to shake. Luckily Terri was there to break his fall, although she did get rather crushed. Upon contact with the floor the chicken bone came shooting out of Big Show's mouth and over the small barrier that separated the nonsmoking section from the smoking section. Terri's muffled cries could be heard from underneath the large man, but no one seemed to pay much mind.
"I thought I saw my life flash before my eyes! Can't you guys figure out when a guy is choking?" Big Show asked angrily.
"Hey, just about everyone at the table is either blond or psycho, so you can't blame us buddy." Matt said twitching up a storm. The past few days hadn't been good to him, in fact we're not sure if he's mentally stable, the poor guy.
Now that everything was under control, Stacy was finally able to get to her original destination. Before leaving, she blew Matt a kiss, and assured him she'd be back in no time. Big Show, for some odd reason, followed her, most likely to check on the whereabouts of Torrie.
"Great, take your time I'm not going anywhere." Matt yelled back. "Quick, is she gone?"
"Yeah, bro, what's . . .?" Jeff began to question in his completely confused manner.
"Great, let's go." Matt said hurriedly, getting up and putting on his jacket ready to leave.
"MATT!" Lita and Stephanie reprimanded.
"Oh all right for crying out loud." Matt sighed in defeat, taking off his jacket and sitting back down.
From the smoking section, two tall drenched figures stood up and were approaching the superstar's table. The slightly shorter man cracked his knuckles, while the other stood, his eyes staring icily through his mask. "Who . . . threw . . . the . . . chicken . . . bone?" The shorter, tattooed one growled, in a gruff voice. The table of superstars gulped, all except for Terri who jumped up from her seat.
"You, you see, this is, is what hap-pened." She stuttered, looking up at the huge men, her voice wavering.
Back in the bathroom, water is still overflowing from the toilet and now from the faucet (which Torrie had turned on and left it on) and has almost reached to the top of the ceiling, Torrie is swimming up and down for air and banging at the door for someone to come and rescue her.
"HELP, ANYONE, HELP, oh it's useless, well I guess this is it, I'm done for it." As Torrie takes one last breath of air, she closes her eyes and floats there waiting, waiting, when suddenly she notices that the water has gone down and she can breathe. "What, what's happening?" She turns to face the door and sees a drenched Stacy Keibler holding the door open letting all the water flow through. "Oh thank you Stacy, you saved my life I'm now in debt to you, thank you, thank you." Torrie thanked breathlessly getting up off the floor and running at Stacy to hug her. Then from behind we see Big Show with a big smile on his face.
"Don't I get a hug too?" Big Show asked, hope in his voice.
"Um . . . yeah right buddy." Torrie replied laughing. "Why should you get one anyways?"
"Well, Stacy wasn't the only one who helped save your life. Do you think she could push open the door all by herself?"
"A . . . well . . . she's not as scrawny as everybody thinks." Torrie stuttered lamely.
"Oh yes I am." Stacy replied completely clueless to the situation. Torrie glared at her
"So where's my hug?" Big Show asked expectantly.
"Oh look a flying cheeseburger with extra anchovies." Torrie exclaimed, pointing in the air behind Big Show.
"What, where?" Big Show asked eagerly, turning his head around with much interest and beginning to drool.
"Get the hell outta my way big man, I gotsta go!!!" Stacy exclaimed pushing past the very confused giant. She shut the door to the ladies room in such a hurry she didn't give Torrie time to leave the rest room. Luckily, the water had stopped flowing in the bathroom, (it was now heading for the rest of the restaurant) so everything was copasetic. Or was it? Torrie, not wanting to spend another second in that horrid bathroom, pushed on the door.
Back at the table, a humungous amount of water came flooding through. Terri, who had been standing without the help of her walker at the time, was swept away by the flood. The water was like rapids, it was extremely ruff, tossing Terri's tiny body around like a rag doll. The rest of the superstar's had somehow seen the water coming, and stood up on their chairs or the table. The water carried Terri all the way to the door, and it looked as if she was going to crash right through it when the door suddenly opened.
"Leaving so soon, Terri dear?" Goldust asked, inhaling deeply, then bit the air, and proceeded to walk into the restaurant, Booker following close behind.
"THANK YOU FOR EATING AT NICE CHINESE RESTURANT! COME AGAIN!" The manager of the restaurant called after Terri, as the flood of water carried her down the street.
"BYE TERRI!" Everyone called from the table, and shrugged it off like nothing happened. The water in the restaurant was now only small puddles, so they were able to sit and wait for their meal.
"Welcome to nice Chinese restaurant!" The manager greeted the Gold One, and the Book. "How meh we help yoo?"
"Yea, get Goldy here and the 5-time, 5-time, 5-time, 5-time, 5-time, WCW champion . . . a table." Booker said looking at the palm of his hand. "And Slappy, make it snappy. Now can you dig that . . ." Booker began to walk off, but seconds later came back to finish his catchphrase. "SUCKA?!" He yelled, and walked away to find a table, Goldust at his heels. This table ironically was right near where the other superstar's were seated.
"Now that that damn flood is over, WHO. . ."
"THREW THAT CHICKEN BONE?" Kane demanded finishing Taker's sentence.
"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO THREW THE CHICKEN BONE!" The Rock yelled. The brothers of destruction blared down at him as he gulped. "Uh. . . W- WH- Why?"
"CAUSE THE PERSON WHO THREW IT IS GONNA GET AN ASS WHUPPIN OF THE CENTURY." Taker hollered back. All of a sudden a wave of chatter broke out among the table as everyone tried to blame one another. "EVERYONE SHUT THE HELL UP!" A figure in a waitress's outfit carrying a tray full of steaming hot soup yelled.
"WHO THE, WHAT THE, WHERE THE HELL DID YOU COME FROM?" Everyone asked in bewilderment. Appearing from the shadows. . .
"AMANDA!" Christian yelled as Hurricane pointed enthusiastically. "I thought you were unconscious over there", glancing at the booth. "Oh never mind."
"Yeah well I woke up and decided to get my ass moving on the job since I work here so go figure." "Even though I'm PROBABLY gonna get fired tomorrow cause I stole a couple of stacks of potatoes for my own pleasure, but that's another story, anyways. . ."
"Um . . . you do realize I feel so totally turned on right now. Mmmmm. . . Potatoes, nice and round and buttery and, and creamy mmmmm. Christian said starting to drool.
"I totally agree with you, you sexy kangaroo." Amanda replied.
"And they thought I was weird." Goldust muttered.
"DUDE, since when did you like women?" Edge asked.
"DUDE, SHUT THE HELL UP BITCH, I've always liked women and they love me. Oh baby, oh baby." Christian retorted.
"Yeah right, you must be delusional." Lita stated.
"A. . . HELLO, WE WERE ABOUT TO GIVE SOMEONE AN ASS WHUPPING SO TELL US WHO THREW THAT GOD DAMN CHICKEN WING." Taker shouted over everyone. "KANE GET THE BLOWTORCH."
"Wait, there's no need for that, I'll tell you two where the chicken wing came from. Well you see it was. . ." Amanda started to explain.
All of a sudden Brock Lesnar and HHH pop in out of thin air. Brock Lesnar was wearing a towel around his waist and HHH happened to be in his birthday suit lovingly caressing a manikin.
"WHAT THE HELL, WHERE AM I?" Brock and HHH exclaimed simultaneously. Just as they finished looking around in puzzlement, they noticed that the group was in hysterics.
"But . . . But Heyman was just giving me a bikini wax for my next photo shoot. Brock explained, in a disappointed tone.
"I was giving Aphrodite mouth to mouth resuscitation in the back seat of my car, I mean a . . . yea." HHH stuttered.
Taker and Kane suddenly turn to each other and nod in agreement; they turn and pounced on Brock and HHH, beating the living daylights out of them. Kane, being highly disgusted with Tripe H's apparel, ripped a table cloth off of one of the booths next to them and threw it at Triple H, hitting him in the face.
"Ouch! My overly large nose has been hit! Why is that always the target?!"
"Probably cause it's so damn huge, ya just can't miss it!" Kane growled, as he turned on the blow torch, staring at the orange and yellow flames it gave off. "And put that on, NO ONE, AND KANE MEANS NO ONE, WANTS TO SEE THAT!"
"Hey, you stole the Rock's line, jabroni!" The Rock exclaimed from his seat. Kane, who was just about to forcefully choke slam Triple H through a table, simply glared at the People's Champ. Triple H took this to his advantage and low blowed Kane, escaping the Big Red Machine's grasp. He grabbed Aphrodite and ran for the hills. As he ran through the restaurant, someone happen to trip over the tablecloth that wrapped loosely around his waste. This sent him flying into the door of the Men's restroom. As he picked himself up from the hard floor, he looked down.
"Uh oh, not again! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Triple H shrieked, as he bolted for the Men's room. When he entered he realized he wasn't the only one there. Passed out by a urinal, was Jazz, drool escaping from *her* open mouth. "DAMN IT!" He yelled as he ran out of the bathroom and strait into the Women's restroom. Three blood curdling screams could be heard throughout the restaurant.
"WAIT, DON'T SHUT THE . . ." The girls yelled simultaneously as the door clicked shut. "Door."
"What the hell is that?" Torrie squeaked, looking at Triple H in horror.
"Oh this, this is Aphrodite, my uh . . . my good friend?"
"No she didn't mean that . . . I think she was talking about that! It's so small!" Stacy exclaimed in awe, as Triple H turned a bright shade of red.
"Give me a break! It's cold in this place!" Triple H attempted to cover, but the girls simply fell over laughing.
"Oh . . . lord . . . I'm . . . going . . . to . . . die!" Torrie said in between fits of laughter. Triple H glared at the girls, and ran over to the trash can. He sifted through it, hoping to find something he could wear until he got back to his hotel. The two diva's cackles had been suppressed to stifled giggles, as they tried to contain themselves.
"SCOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEE!" Triple H exclaimed as he pulled out a ragged piece of clothing from the trash.
"You're . . . NOT serious, are you?" Stacy asked bursting into yet another fit of giggles. "Can't . . . breathe . . . need . . . oxygen!"
"What? I got nice legs!" Triple H exclaimed, glaring at Stacy.
"YOU got nice legs? I got nice legs, BITCH!" Stacy stated, brandishing a long leg in his face.
"Yeah, if you like anorexic rag dolls." Triple H retorted.
"Did he just punk you out? Oh, I think he just punked you out! What ya gonna do about that sista?" Torrie asked, staring icily at Triple H.
"Oh, you best not be gettin' all up in mah face! You best be backin' up bitch!" Stacy warned, doing the 'finger snap and head bob'.
"YOU GO GIRL!" Torrie yelled, shaking the pompoms that she had found in the trash supportively.
"I will not have two whores diss me! IT'S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!"
"Oh, I prefer Candy Land, can we play that?" Stacy asked, not quite understanding Triple H's catchphrase.
"Oh that's it slut, your going down." Triple H said as he and Stacy proceeded clawing and slapping each other.
"2, 4 . . . what's the next number, oh yeah 6. . . then . . . ah . . . 12, 86 oh whatever GO um. . . St . . . Tracy, Pacy, Macy, or now wait, it's uh . . . Stacy! GO Stacy!" Torrie started to shout when the fight broke out, as she waved her pompoms frantically.
"SHUT UP!" Both Stacy and Triple H yell, pausing only for a moment to push Torrie into a nearby stall. Unfortunately for Torrie, she lost her balance and fell face first right into a . . .
"EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! The toilet! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH, I think I'm stuck! EW, I think some one forgot to flush! Oh, it really smells in here. Please help I'm stuck! MOMMMMMMMMMMY!" Torrie sputtered. She began to flail her arms around, hoping to attract the attention of the oblivious pair, and in turn ended up hitting the handle on the toilet, unintentionally making it flush. Basically she was giving herself a swirly, and she oddly enough kept her hand on the button for quite sometime. "What the hell is going on! AHHHHHHHHHHH! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPP! Hey, this actually feels kinda good. Kinda like a face massage . . . That reminds me, I have to book a facial at the spa!"
Triple H wobbled over to the Ladies room door with much trouble, as Stacy had put up quite a fight. "Now how the hell do you open this thing?" He grumbled, as he pushed with all his might, but the door would not budge.
"Oh we were having the same trouble! We couldn't figure out how to open that door for the life of us, that's why we're stuck in here!" Stacy groaned from her seat in the trash can.
"Yep." Torrie agreed, continually flushing the toilet.
"Oh great, just great! Well that's what my trusty sledge hammer is for . . ." Triple H began a psychotic glint in his eye. Seconds later he was breaking down the door with his sledge hammer, and was finally able to get out. Had the three only seen the 'Pull' sign above the door, they most likely would have been out much sooner.
(Onthaedge487- *shrugs* "Idiocy must be a blond thing . . ."
Live4thaXtreme- *nods* "Yep.")
"We're free, we're free at last." Stacy sighed with relief. "Now Torrie, come on, it's time to go, that's enough for today." Stacy grabbed Torrie by the legs and began to drag her, kicking and screaming out of the bathroom.
"But . . . but its fun! SWIRLIE, SWIRLIE! WOOOOOOOOO!" Torrie whined, not wanting to part with the toilet.
"You can give yourself a swirlie when we get back to the hotel. But for now, we have to eat. I'm sure that by now our food is here and everyone is eating . . . OH MY GOSH! I left Matty for soooo long, he must miss me terribly . . . I know I almost died without him!"
"He hates you!" Torrie exclaimed, pouting.
"He does not! He's just . . . shy!"
"Does anyone give a damn that I'm still here?" Triple H asked, feeling a bit left out.
"No." They both answered simultaneously.
"Thanks a lot psycho, the one time we're glad that you had that sledge hammer with you." Torrie commented as the girls departed the bathroom. They slowly began to walk back towards the table.
"Ow, I'm going to need a wheelchair after all this, make it a stretcher. Jeez." Stacy groaned, rubbing her lower back. "Hey . . . which way was the table anyway?"
"Beats me." Torrie replied, equally clueless, but not at all phased.
"MATTTTTY!" Stacy howled like a lone wolf on a dark evening when the moon is full. It was almost as if it were hopeless.
Triple H groggily exited the Ladies room, silently sneaking past a very lost Torrie and Stacy, and hobbled back to the table. "I SURVIVED! I SURVIVED BECAUSE I AM THAT DAMN GO--" Triple H was abruptly cut off when someone dropped onto his back from the ceiling. "Ow! What the h- SHAWN?!"
"Ya can't hunt what ya can't kill, Hunter. What the . . . are you wearing a . . ." HBK began, while continually punching Triple H.
"Dress. That dress, it looks so familiar. Hey Christian, isn't that the one Grandma Edna gave you for Christmas last . . . OW, dude that was so totally uncool!" Edge exclaimed, recoiling from the elbow to his gut that he'd just received from his brother.
"DUDE, NO ONE'S SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOOT THE DRESS THING!"
"You wear dresses?" Amanda asked, momentarily looking up from her potato calendar, entitled, Unpeeled.
"UH . . . I uh . . ."
"THAT'S SOOOOOOOO HOT CHRISTIAN! Do you know how turned on I am right now? Is it hot in here?" Amanda responded, practically drooling. Christian in response blushed, hiding shyly behind Edge. "You could come over and try on MY dresses . . ." She said suggestively.
"Dude, I think she likes ya. Just go for it! Although she's kinda freaky and weird and scary, and, well I think she's your type . . ."
"Oh look at the HOT spud! Wouldn't I like to roast that baby! WORK IT BABY, WORK IT! YOU CAN DOOOOOOOO IT!" Amanda yelled excitedly at the calendar.
"Is Trip's wearing a pink frilly dress with butterflies, or is my eyes playing dirty, dirty tricks on me . . . again." Matt said, with a fearful yet psychotic glint in his eyes.
"YES OKAY . . . OW . . . I AM . . . OW . . . WEARING A . . . OW . . . DRESS! OWWW, GEEZ SHAWN! NO, NO DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH APHRODITE! OW . . ." Triple H screamed, between a severe beating from the Heartbreak Kid.
"Serves you right bitch . . . ewww, where the hell has this thing been?" HBK asks, disgustedly looking at the mannequin, which Triple H referred to as Aphrodite. "Oh gawd, I don't even want to know . . . You were always a sick f-f-f-freak Hunter."
"WHAT IS WITH STEALING THE ROCK'S CATCHPHARSES? WOULD YOU PLEASE SHUT THE HELL UP?"
"Hey Jerky, you just stole my *best* catchphrase! I was actually popular when I said that! WAZUPWITDAT?!" Jericho yelled, highly offended.
"You just stole MY only catchphrase, you reekaziod! THAT SO TOTALLY REEKS OF HEINIOUSITY!" Everyone looked at Hurricane in shock at the sudden outburst. "What?" He asked, staring blankly at everyone at the table. Everyone stared back at him, minus Amanda, Christian and Edge who were having a friendly conversation about her potato obsession and Christian's dress fetish.
"DAMN YOU SUPER DORK, THAT'S MAH DAMN CATCHPHRASE! I'M GONNA COME DOWN THERE AND KICK YOU'RE WHINY LIL ASS! NOW CAN YOU DIG THAT . . . SUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKAAAAAAAA?!!!" Stone Cold yelled suddenly, and the disgruntled super-hero sat down.
"Oh hell no! This is my yard, and in my yard, NO ONE takes my catchphrases! Big Evil's gonna get ya!" Booker T warned from the table next to theirs.
"Sumbitch, I won't be having that! I AM THE GAME, YOU WANNA PLAY ME?" Undertaker roared, glaring at Booker. "I AM THAT DAMN GOOD." Several of the superstars then began to brawl, others sat hungry (yes they still haven't received food), and confused.
"Game over." Shawn Michaels smirked, giving an unconscious Triple H one last kick in the crotch. "Oh crap . . . I'm late for my Church prayer group meeting!" With that HBK dashed out of the restaurant, leaving some superstars confused with the whole ordeal. The brawl over the catchphrases was coming to a close as the victor stood on top on their table to celebrate.
"I AM A LIVING LEDGEND!" Jericho bellowed. "I WON, I BEAT ALL THOSE ASSCLOWNS!"
"No you didn't, they beat each other up, and you just stood there . . ." Matt began.
"Until the whole damn thing was over, you wuss." Lita finished. Matt gave her a brief smile which she returned.
"Don't say that about Jericho . . ." Steph trailed off. Realizing the words that had just slipped from her lips, she immediately covered her mouth in shock and embarrassment. Chris however, either didn't hear her comment, or settled on ignoring it. Seconds later, Stacy and Torrie came bursting in, huffing and puffing. In pure joy of finding their way back to the table, Stacy jumped on the table and started dancing. Jericho of course took no notice of this; he was too self absorbed in his own little celebration to care.
"I'M THE . . . WHAT THE . . . WHO THE HELL IS THROWING POPCORN?" Jericho screamed, baffled at who would have the nerve to ruin his little celebration, let alone throw buttery pieces of popcorn at him. A waitress nearby chuckled, as she chucked more popcorn in Jericho's direction.
"I'M FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" Stacy screeched, not taking notice of the pieces of popcorn hitting her, as well as Jericho.
"Let's try this again . . . I'M THE KI . . . ALRIGHT, WHOEVER IS TRHOWING THAT IS GONNA FEEL THE WRATH OF THE KING!" Jericho bellowed, looking around the restaurant for the culprit.
"aZrAeL, whatcha doin'? Can I help . . . pwease?" Amanda asked in a childish tone, suddenly appearing next to aZrAeL.
"Can't you see I'm busy? I got a pansy to torture . . . do we have any ham?" aZrAeL asked suddenly, a smirk appearing on her face.
"Just cause this is restaurant doesn't mean we have food . . ." Amanda answered, as aZrAeL cursed. "And what do you need ham for, when you can use POTATOES!"
"Good Lord . . . how can we not have any food? What have you been giving the customers?"
"Uh . . . water . . . and . . . um . . . straws . . . ah . . . yep."
"Damnit! Well, I'll have to deal with that later because Jerky over there is asking for it!" aZrAeL sighed, looking back at Jericho who was still on the table, scanning the room for the popcorn thrower.
"Asking for what?" Amanda asked, highly confused. "Can I help you? I *am* supposed to be working you know . . ."
"NO! I don't want a moronic idiot to foil my plans." aZrAeL responded firmly.
"What does moronic mean?"
"Argh! Why don't you go back to you're dress wearing boy friend and LEAVE me ALONE!"
"Cool." Amanda replied happily.
"EVERYTHING'S COOL WHEN YOU'RE ROB VAN DAM!" RVD shouted doing the thumb thing, gaining a glare from Molly.
"I'M FREEEEEEEEEEEEEE! WOOOOOOOOOO! MATTY I MISSED YOU! ARE YOU WATCHING ME DANCE?" Stacy yelled, as Matt winced. "I'M FREE AS A BIRD, FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE . . ." Stacy stopped abruptly when a piece of flying popcorn landed into her open mouth. "I'm . . . choking . . .*cough* . . . *gag* . . . *sputter* . . . Matty . . . help . . . C . . . P . . . R . . . *gag.*" Stacy croaked, as she fell on the table, and then proceeded to fall on the floor.
"Anyways . . . so . . . how's the weather? Is it snowing out?" Matt asked, completely ignoring Stacy.
"Hmmm . . . could be. Maybe we should check . . ." Lita said, attempting to get up, but a hand grabbed her leg.
"Excuse . . . me . . . help . . . please . . . I . . . need . . . *gag* . . . ass . . . I . . . *sputter* . . . mean . . . *choke* . . . assistance." Stacy choked, tugging on Lita's leg.
"Oh alright. Let's help her before Vince suspends our pay . . . or us." Lita sighed, and Matt twitched.
"But I uh gotta go to the bathroom! Ah I gosta gooooo! Ah gosta goooo! Ah ain't foolin' neither!" Matt bluffed, trying to get out of the situation.
"But Mattie . . . ah gotta go too!" Jeff said, jumping up and down, with his legs crossed. "Uh oh . . ."
"Jesus Jeff, not on the plant! Damn . . . too late."
"I don't have to go anymore . . . Matty." Jeff declared zippering up.
"NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THAT JEFF, PUT IT BACK, PUT IT BACK!"
"Hehe, sowry . . . but I had to go."
"Hello, Legs over there is choking!" Stephanie reminded them, pointing and staring at her in amusement. "Oh look she's turning purple, oh she's turning blue now, ha, that's funny.
"Well it's not like anyone here knows the hymlic maneuver . . ." Big Show grunted, remembering the past events.
"I got an idea . . . it'll either help her, or . . . . Hurt her so she's near death . . ." Lita suggested.
"I'm willing to take the risk." Matt agreed shrugging. Lita nodded with a smile, and then proceeded to kick Stacy in the gut. She continued this action, but Stacy only continued to choke. "OOOO, that looks like mad fun!" Matt quickly ran over and joined Lita with the beating.
"Ow . . . *gag* . . . that's . . . *cough* . . . not . . . *sputter* . . . helping . . .!" Stacy said, now a deep shade of red. She gasped for air. aZrAeL took notice of what was going on, and her mind momentarily moved from torturing Jericho, to torturing Stacy.
"Hey, you can't hurt . . . I mean save a life without me!" aZrAeL yelled, and quickly ran to help 'save' Stacy.
"Feeling any better Stacy?" Lita asked a psychotic look in her eye.
"Actually . . . *gag* . . ."
"Don't worry about it; I'll get that popcorn outta there!" Lita exclaimed, kicking Stacy even harder. "Stupid . . . dumbass . . . popcorn . . . come . . . ouuttttttttttt!" Lita yelled, and with each word she delivered a devastating kick to Stacy.
"That's mah kinda girl." Matt said, giving Lita a smile. Then suddenly with a powerful kick to her ass, the piece of popcorn flew out of Stacy's mouth, leaving her sputtering on the floor.
"You saved me! Thank you soooooooooo much!"
"Aw damn . . . that wasn't supposed to happen." Matt mumbled, under his breath. Lita nodded, clearly disappointed as well. "Well there goes all my excitement for the day, damn it."
"I'LL GIVE YOU EXCITEMENT MATTY!! YOU'RE MY HERO!"
"Help . . ." Matt whimpered.
"Now for that ham . . ." aZrAeL muttered, a scheme forming in her head. All this time Jericho had been still been scanning the room for the culprit. Now realizing that it seemed safe, he began his 'celebration' again.
"Okay Chris you're gonna get this right. I'M THE KING OF THE . . . OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! The . . . the golden . . . scepter . . . not . . . again." Jericho croaked, as he hunched over in pain. A giant ham fell to the ground next to him, and everyone doubled over in laughter.
"HELL YEAH! Bull's eye!" aZrAeL exclaimed, clearly happy with the results of her throw.
"Nice shot." A gruff voice said from behind her.
"Thanks . . . wait a minute you're . . . you're . . ."
"The Deadman? In the flesh. Finally someone gave that little dipshit what he deserved." Undertaker commented, looking down at aZrAeL.
"Thanks, I agree. Pain in my ass, he is."
"Know the feeling. Not to change the subject but where the hell did Kane go anyway?" Taker asked looking around curiously for Kane.
"Dunno."
"Let's pray to God that he didn't get ANYWHERE near the matches . . . or candles . . . or anything flammable of any kind."
"Ohhhhh, look at the flame . . . Purdy. Ouchies that hurt! Hehehe, I wonder what would happen if I . . ." Kane trailed off curiously, letting his actions answer his question. He had been not too far away from aZrAeL and Taker, and luckily they heard him mumbling and quickly dashed over. Unfortunately, they were just a little late. "Oopsy."
"KANE, LOOK WHAT YOU DID!" Taker roared, obviously not very pleased with the situation before him.
"Hehehe whoops. It slipped, I swear."
"Is it hot in here, or is it just me? Mmmmm, what's that smell . . . bacon? BACOOOOOOOONNNNN!" Trish yelled happily.
"Uh . . . Trish? You're on fire." Matt said, shocked at the fact that she was so calm.
"I know, I'm sizzlin' ain't I? I feel the burn baby!"
"NO dumbass, he means YOU ARE ON FIRE! AS IN, YOUR HAIR, IS BURNING UP . . . do you not feel the burning sensation between your ears?" Molly roared, it was clear she was sobering but her attitude was staying.
"Oh . . . that. Put it out, PUT . . . IT . . . OUT!!!" Trish screamed her hair ablaze. "SHIT, I'M GONNA DIE! NOOOOOOOOO, MY HAIR! KANE, YOU'RE PAYING FOR MY WIG . . . I'M GONNA NEED ONE! WILL SOMEBODY PUT IT OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTT?!" Trish wailed, jumping up and down.
"Ooooh, fire. It's bootyful. I want *my* hair to look like that . . . lucky bitch." Amanda said enviously eyeing Trish's smoking hair.
"Stand back, there's a Hurricane coming through!" Hurricane yelled, leaping in front of Trish, and then paused to do a superhero pose. "I'll stop those villainous flames from burning a hole through your slutty head."
"We're all doomed . . ." Stephanie said, still sitting comfortably at her seat, rolling her eyes.
With that Hurricane looked around for something to put out the fire. He noticed Dawn Marie and Edge having a argument over a bottle of hairspray, and sneakily swooped in, snatching the bottle away from them.
"Hey you stupid freak! Gimmie my hairspray back!" Dawn whined, attempting to get it back from the superhero.
"Yeah dude, it was *my* turn to use it!" Edge piped in, rising from his seat.
"No, it wasn't! It's *mine*! You can't use it, I don't share. Plus I have to look good for Mr. McMahon! GIVE IT BACK!" Dawn yelled, but it was no use as Hurricane had slipped away while she and Edge were fighting. "DAMN IT! This is your fault!"
"Uh uh . . . it was yours! That so totally reeked of stinkitude!"
"But now my hair is going to look crappy for Mr. McMahon!"
"Would you please . . . SHUT THE HELL UP?!" Debra yelled, admonishing the two. "Geez, I just got Stevie to sleep, and if he wakes up, you're dead meat." She glanced down at Austin, who was now sleeping like a baby with his head in his *empty* plate, drooling.
"BEEEEEEEEEEER! Me . . . want . . . beer . . . yummy . . . mommy . . . bring . . . me . . . beer." Steve grumbled, stirring a bit in his sleep.
"Beer? Where? Who? Where's the fire? Beer . . . yummy." Molly asked perking up at the sound of beer.
"Fire's over there . . ." RVD said sniffing what must have been his twentieth bottle of whiteout.
"Oh . . . FIREWORKS! PURDY!" Molly exclaimed referring to Trish's head, which had yet to be put out. Just at that second Hurricane ran over to Trish, hairspray in hand.
"HEEELLLLLP!" Trish screeched, flailing her arms about like a deranged chicken.
"Have no fear, Hurricane is here!" Hurricane declared, and with that he began to spray Trish's head with the hairspray.
"Wait . . . what is that shit?" Matt asked, a little concerned.
"Dunno, but it smells nass." Jeff answered, taking a big whiff of the air. "Ohhhhh . . . yum . . . hehehe."
"The Rock wants to know why that freaky shit made that big ball of fire get bigger and bigger . . . . And bigger . . . and closer . . . and closer . . . and closer . . . The Rock is about to piss the People's pants!" The Rock whimpered, noticing the flames on Trish's head increase greatly.
"STOP DROP AND ROLL!" Big Show hollered finally taking interest to what was going on. With that Trish threw herself to the rather dirty floor, and began to roll about.
"I'M ROLLIN', I'M ROLLIN'! IT AIN'T DOIN' SHIT! HEEEEELLLLLLLLLP!" Trish shrieked, continuing to roll and squeal like a pig in mud.
"Huh . . . Trish kinda reminds me of the pet piggy me Grandma had . . . odd resemblance." aZrAeL remarked, smirking.
"I'll save you!" Jeff yelled, as he ran to the kitchen to get some water. He quickly grabbed a HUGE pail and began too fill it. As the water fell into the pail, Jeff could feel his throat go dry. Jeff shrugged it off and began to run with the pail filled with water. About halfway to the table the urge to quench his thirst plagued him yet again. "Maybe if I take a little sip . . ." Jeff said, and began to down the water, still running. Not looking where he was going, Jeff tripped on Jericho (who was still on the ground in pain from the ham aZrAeL threw at him) and the water pail flew out of Jeff's hands and sailed through the air. "Whoopsy."
"Hey Jeff did you get the . . ." Matt began but stopped abruptly as he saw the pail flying through the air, then splashed all over . . .
"WHAT?!" Stone Cold bolted up, waking from his slumber feeling the ice cold liquid running down his spine.
"THE ROCK WANTS TO KNOW WHY YOU SOAKED HIM TO THE B-B-B-BONE! YOU KNOW WHAT JABRONI? THE ROCK IS GONNA TAKE THAT PAIL, SHINE IT UP REAL NICE, TURN IT SIDESWAYS AND STICK IT STRAIGHT UP YOU'RE CANDY ASS, JABROINI!" The Rock yelled, as his teeth chattered.
"YOU'RE A DEADMAN WALKING, HARDY! BIG EVIL'S A COMIN'. . ." Taker roared, shaking the freezing cold water off. It looked like the three, soaked, angry wrestlers were about to kill the next thing they came in contact with.
"I'M BACCCCKKKK! AND BADDER THAN EVA!" A voice yelled from behind them. Austin, Rock and Taker nodded and rose from their seats, still dripping wet.
"HELLO, DID YOU PEOPLE FORGET ABOOT ME? I'M ON FIRE HERE! HEELLLPPP!" Trish yelled from the ground.
"Shhh . . . this should be good." Stephanie said, waving a dismissive hand at Trish.
"I, the GM of RAW think you people have had spent well over 3 minutes in this fic . . . wait a second . . . did I just hear myself say 3 . . ." Eric Bitchoff (hehe, type-po . . . *evil grin*) did not get to finish as the three angry, water drenched wrestlers pounced on him, beating the living hell out of him. "Ow . . . Jamal . . . Rosie . . . MOMMMMMMMY!"
"GO TAKER GO! BEAT THAT SON OF BITCH! MAKE HIM RESPECT YOU!" aZrAeL shouted, highly enjoying the beating.
"OKAY, SOMEONE HELP ME DAMN IT! I'M ON FIRE! DOES THIS NOT MATTER TO YOU PEOPLE?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Trish screamed, near tears.
"Oh you . . . right." Steph said, reluctantly tearing her gaze from Bitchoff 's ass whupping.
"OHHH, I'LL HELP, I'LL HELP!" Stacy shouted, running into the kitchen to fill up yet another pail. "A pail, a pail where would I find a pail? And where would I find some water . . . I wonder." Stacy pondered to herself as she bustled around the kitchen. "Hmmmm, this will do . . . yay, go me!" Stacy exclaimed happily finding a pail filled with a clear substance, and out of joy she began singing, "Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pail of water," Stacy continued to sing (it more or less sounded like she was screaming for bloody murder) as she skipped out to the table. "JACK FELL DOWN AND BROKE HIS CROWN," at that exact moment Stacy tripped over herself making the liquid in the pail go flying into the air and onto Trish's head. But to Y2J's disappointment the pail landed on his . . .
"OWWWWWWW, DAMN IT . . . STACY . . . YOU ASSCLOWN . . . ISN'T IT BAD . . . ENOUGH THAT . . . I'M ON THE . . . FLOOR HOLDING MY . . . CEPTOR WHEN . . . THAT DAMN PAIL . . . HAD TO COME . . . LANDING ONTO . . . ME TOO!" Y2J tried to say through clenched teeth with tears in his eyes.
"And Jill came tumbling after, whoopsy sorry Y2J I couldn't stop. . ."
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'M STILL BURNING AHHHHHHHHH PUT ME OUT, PUT ME OUT, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" Trish said screaming out in pain.
"I SMELL BEER, WHERE, WHAT, WHO'S GOT THE BEER?" Austin and Molly said simultaneously. They both leapt out of their chair, hell-bent on finding the alcohol. Letting her nose lead the way, Molly found the pail picked it up, taking a big whiff. "BEEEEEEEEEEER, I FOUND THE BEEEEEEEEEER." "WHAT? WHAT? YOU FOUND THE WHAT? GIMME IT BEFORE I START SPAZING OUT AGAIN." Austin yelled back. "NOOOOOOO I FOUND IT FIRST, IT'S ALL MINE." "NO IT'S MINE I NEED IT MORE." As the two started arguing Molly placed the pail down on a table so that they would not knock it over.
"HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLO ARE YOU PEOPLE STUPID OR JUST REALLY SLOW, DO YOU NOT SEE A WOMAN RUNNING AROUND WITH HER HEAD ON FIRE?!" Trish yelled even louder so that everyone in the world could hear her.
"Matty, I'm still really thirsty can you get me a glass of water, pleaseeeee." Jeff said pleadingly. "Jeff go get something to drink yourself, you got legs." Matt said annoyed.
"Did somebody say legs?" Stacy asked.
"Oh god, please take me now." Matt said falling to his knees, shaking his fists in the air. Just then Jeff picked up the bucket of beer and took a big gulp not stopping to breathe. "Jeff, what the hell are you drinking? Oh lord, this can't be good."
"Hiccup . . . Matty . . . try some . . . this is . . . this is . . . tha shit yo." Jeff slurred, swaying from side to side. Matt thought about it for a second, then mentally making a decision.
"I hope it is, cause I'm gonna need it." Matt grabbed the pail and began gulping it down. "Mmmm, hard liquor . . . yummy. Yup, dat's da shit."
~*~Author's Note's~*~
Heh, sorry we ended it like that . . . it was getting way to long . . . one more chapter of the group date . . . we hope. Well, so far we've produced our best material within the group date, so it can't be the worst thing right? Oh, and aZrAeL, we apologize if we didn't write you the way you would have liked, but we just really wrote the first thing that came to mind. If we offended you or anyone else we're sorry . . . Heh. But it's our fic right? Anywayz, PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! We're hoping for like 10 reviews for this chapter, if not it's cool, but we'd really appreciate it.
*Things to Look For In Upcoming Chapters (hopefully):
Will Trish's hair ever be put out?
Will Austin and Molly get their beer?
Will the gang ever get any food?
Can Stacy get any dumber? (answer . . .yes)
Will Matt and Lita hook up?
What's up with Steph and Jericho?
Will Angle ever carry out his plan?
Will Angle and Mr. Fluffums make up?
Why is Dawn in this story? . . . she serves no purpose . . . Will she leave?
Look for appearances in upcoming chapters by the following People:
AngryMew2
Rayne, The Fallen Angel
YamiShiningFriendship
CK
Ashley
aZrAeL (a returning guest in the near future)
Most of these People will be in the next chapter, but it depends on if we can come up with ideas for you. So, don't worry if you're not in Chapter 11, you will be in an upcoming chapter, and all of these people will be crazed fans, or people on the job. You'll all have interaction with the superstars, don't worry. Okay, I think we're just about done here . . . Please read and review, as always. Toodlez!
Chapter 10
Freaks, Blondes & Mannequins
(Day 4~ it's almost done . . . 1 more part to go)
~*~IMPORTANT WARNING~*~
There is some STRONG LANGUAGE in this chapter, as well as some REALLY *GROSS* parts (it's pretty bad this time). We suggest that you do not read this while eating, before you eat or after you've eaten as it might cause you to loose your lunch. If you have a strong stomach then good for you. You'll see what we mean . . . we are apologizing for anything that may offend anyone, or may gross anyone out in advance. Um, we kinda wrote most of this at late hours, so we were tired, crazy & hyper. We think this is moderately funny, but you may not, it depends on what you find humorous, so if you don't like it then don't read it. Sorry about making the group date sooooo long. It's going to be in THREE Parts. This is the second, so we only have ONE more to go. It was just WAY too LONG to post as one chapter, because we seemed to have a lot of ideas for this particular portion of the story. *shrugz* We'll we're back if anyone missed us . . . so read on!
Special Guest: aZrAeL
~*~ Author's Notes & Disclaimer ~*~
Angle~ "Do you think it's contagious, DO YOU?" *brandishing his arm in front of OnthaEdge487 who was downing a beer*
aZrAeL ~ "Wait . . . your not old enough to drink yet!" *grabs beer can away from OnthaEdge487 and throws it, accidentally hitting Angle* "Oh well . . . anything could repel off of that chrome dome of his anyways."
Live4thaXtreme~ "Wait . . . how in the bluest of blue hell did you get up here Angle? I LOCKED THE DAMN DOOR!"
Bradshaw ~ "Fish."
Faarooq ~ "WHAT?!"
Bradshaw ~ "I said, go fish. Geez, check your battery man."
Faarooq~ "Well I'll be damned . . ."
Angle~ "Ah have just been violated . . . AND NO ONE GIVES A WHOOPTY DAMN DOO! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU PEOPLE! I'M AN OLYMIC HERO, AND YOU PEOPLE COULD CARE LESS THAT I COULD HAVE BABIES!"
OnthaEdge487~ "It's rabies you dipshit! Oi vey, it's gonna be a long night." *smacks her forehead* Live4thaXtreme~ "Who's having a baby? Where?" *OnthaEdge487 smacks her upside the head* "OOWWW! Did you know if you get hit in the head you loose brain cells? HA, I bet ya didn't know that!"
OnthaEdge487~ "Not like it applies to you anyway . . . brain cells, what brain cells? Ha! Anywayz, when I become QUEEN of the WORLD, I will rule all . . ."
Faarooq~ "Aw hell no, not this again!"
Bradshaw~ "What our lovely author is trying to say is, she doesn't own shit, and the same goes for he assclown of a sidekick Live4thaXtreme."
Angle~ "It's true, it's DAMN true!"
Bradshaw~ "Wait a damn minute . . . did I just say assclown? Oh hell . . . they're getting to me . . . Faarooq . . . GET THE THERMOMETER!" *he faints as Faarooq walks off to get a thermometer, shaking his head in disgust*
aZrAeL ~ "Question: Am I the only sane person here?" *OnthaEdge487, Live4thaXtreme and Angle all stare at her blankly* "Guess so . . . wonderful . . . first I'm stuck with Pyper, now these moronic rejects. Great."
*Suddenly the door bursts open, and figure walks in with loud music is blaring from a large boom box that is being held over the person's shoulder.* Live4thaXtreme~ "HEY, AH SAID NO VISITERS, SO GET THE F OUT! Got it budd- OH MY GOODNESS!"
OnthaEdge487~ "And what in the blue hell is you problem, Liv?"
Live4thaXtreme~ "Hubbada hubbada . . ." *drools*
OnthaEdge487~ *turns around* "OH MY . . . DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE?!" *faints*
aZrAeL ~ "Well duh . . . why me, really why? What the hell did I do to deserve this? I mean I only kept the whole WWE roster in the same plane for an extended period of time during a storm, made them watch the Scorpion King . . . okay disregard everything I just said.
?~ "Wrong place apparently . . ."
~*~
"SO WHAT YOU GUYS WANT TO EAT?" Matt screamed down the table.
"The Rock says to get something cause he's hungry."
"GET SOMETHING WE CAN ALL EAT." Big Show suggested.
"GET BEER TOO!" Austin ordered.
"HELL YEAH!" Molly agreed.
"AND SKITTLES!"
"Jeff, this is a Chinese restaurant, they don't have skittles here." Matt informed his brother.
"But Matt. . ."
"Be quiet Jeff, you'll eat what I order." After a while, they order and start to talk amongst themselves before they eat.
"Sooooo Torrie, when are we gonna get some alone time to . . . ya know . . . get to know each other better." Big Show said wiggling his eyebrows.
"EWWWWWWWW! I would never . . . you and me . . . ewwwwwwwww . . . hell no! I need to go to the ladies room!" She choked out, and then dashed off to the woman's room to throw up.
"Must you . . . *hiccup* . . . constantly sniff . . .*belch* . . . that white out?" Molly asked, completely drunk on the beer she had brought with her.
"Well . . . uh . . . *sniff* duh. Whiteout . . . is *sniff* my . . . uh life." RVD answered, almost offended.
"Fine. OH CRAP, I DON'T *hiccup* HAVE ANY *hiccup* MORE BEER! NOOOOOOOOOO! HEY AUSTIN, DO YOU GOT ANYMORE BEER?!" Molly asked, her voice trembling.
"WHAT?! I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA BRING THE EXTRA BEER! WHAT?!"
"No, you said you were gonna! THIS IS JUST GREAT! I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT MY BEER!" Molly says starting to twitch. "OH MY GOD, I'M BEGINNING TO SOBER! NOOOOOOO!"
"Must have beer. Must have beer. Must have beer." Austin whispered desperately.
"Now, now dear, we'll just ask the waiter to get some beer. I'm sure they have some." Debra said pulling him into a hug as he began to cry.
"YOU JABRONIS ARE WORRIED ABOUT BEER? FORGET BEER, THE ROCK NEEDS HIS PIE! THE ROCK IS IN MAJOR WITHDRAWAL HERE, AND ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS BEER!! SOMEBODY GIVE THE ROCK HIS PIE!!" The Rock whined, as everyone stared at him.
"Rocky, meet me in the bathroom in five minutes, and you'll get you're pie." Jazz whispered.
"HOW COULD SOMETHING LIKE YOU HELP ME? AND WHICH BATHROOM WERE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT, JABRONI?" Rock inquired, doing the People's Eyebrow.
"Fine loser, the offer still stands, so if you want me I'll be in the bathroom." Jazz said walking away.
"WAIT, WHAT BATHROOM ARE YOU GONNA BE IN? Not . . . uh . . . like I'd take you up on that offer or anything."
Meanwhile in the girl's bathroom, Torrie is in a stall puking at the comment that Big Show had made.
"That was gross, how could he say that, ewwwww, alright well I should get back out there, whew." She flushes the toilet but as she unlocks the stall and walks out, the toilet starts to overflow. "Uh oh, that can't be good. Oh that looks sooooo gross. " She said completely disgusted. The water from the toilet was quickly rising and was now ankle-high. "OH MY GOD! SOMEBODY HELP, THIS IS AN EMERGENCY! HELLLLLLLLP! I NEED HELLLLP! DOES MY HAIR REALLY LOOK LIKE THAT? AHHHHHHHHHH I NEED A BRUSH RIGHT NOW! AND MAKEUP! I LOOK COMPLETELY DISGUSTING, THIS IS TERR . . . IB . . . IB . . . LE, OH IT'S JUST BAD!" Torrie screamed, looking at her reflection in the mirror, not paying attention to the now knee-high toilet water. She began to sift through the trash for any kind of beauty products, hoping to find some lipstick or mascara to touch up her 'horrid' appearance.
Back at the hotel Kurt Angle was yet again mumbling incoherently to his stuffed bunny Mr. Fluffums, about his plan to seek revenge on Lita (A/N- yes people that will happen eventually, we didn't forget!) for burning all of his priceless thongs. "What's wrong with fifty gallons of milk? You said it was a good idea before!" Kurt yelled at Mr. Fluffums.
Mr. Fluffums- . . . . . .
"WHAT? How could you think that? It's a brilliant idea! It's not going to backfire on me! Plus I'm an Olympic Gold Medalist, and I know what the heck I'm talking about. You're just a bunny!" Kurt yelled, pointing at his medals.
Mr. Fluffums- . . . . . .
"Yeah, that's what I said, YOU'RE JUST A BUNNY! You don't know what you're talking about. I'm no fool, I'm an Olympic hero, and I'll be damned if you get in the way of my fun!" Yelled throwing the bunny to the ground.
Mr. Fluffums- . . . . . .
"Yeah, I said you're not gonna get in my way! I'll do whatever I want. It's my way, or the highway buddy." Kurt said, picking up Mr. Fluffums and shaking the bunny, as if to knock some sense into it.
Mr. Fluffums- . . . . . .
"Fine, if you feel that way then well, FINE! I won't sleep with you tonight. What do you mean you get the bed? NOOOOOOOO! Hey, I want the bed, I'm an Olympic . . . what do you mean 'shut the hell up?' Oh you've done it now! I don't have to take this. I'm leaving!" With that Kurt opened the door, planning to leave, but instead walked into the closet. He came out madder than before, realizing what a dumbass he is. Just then Perry Saturn fell out of the open closet door making out with his beloved mop, Moppy.
"What in the heck are you doing in my closet?! Get out! Ewwwww, how could you do that with a filthy mop?!" Kurt asked, totally grossed out.
"Moppy isn't filthy, she's bootyful. Oh, and pigeons poop on people's heads so they can graduate from boarding school. Your welcome!" Perry then rolls out the open window with Moppy. "You can fly right Moppy?" Kurt shakes his head in disgust, and then looks at the clock which reads 7:20 pm.
"Oh poo! It's too late to leave, it's almost my bedtime. Well you know what Mr. Fluffums, I'll sleep in the bathtub, cause I don't want to have to spend anther minute with you!"
Mr. Fluffums- . . . . . .
"Fine, be like that. Oh yeah, well up yours too! Goodnight Mr. Fluffums." Kurt yelled, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
Mr. Fluffums- . . . . . .
Kurt walks into the bathroom and climbs into the bathtub, falling asleep immediately. A few minutes pass by before we hear snoring and some muttering of his plans. "Lita . . . she'll pay . . . for what she did to . . . me. . . I . . . will get . . . my . . . revenge. . ."
*Back at the restaurant*
"WHERE IN THE . . ." Trish began.
"BLUE HELL IS OUR FOOD?" The Rock finished.
"DAMN IT!" Steph shouted, as her face fell in disappointment.
Suddenly a waiter walks up to the table with a plate of fried rice, chicken wings, and an egg roll and placing it in front of Rock.
"WHAT? YOU SON OF A BITCH, THAT'S MY FUCKING FOOD, ASSCLOWN!" Jericho screeched, snatching the plate away. He stood up on the table, holding the plate out of the Rocks reach, as the Great One hopelessly tried to retrieve it.
"OH NO YOU DIDN'T JABRONI, GIMME BACK THAT PLATE! GIMMIE, GIMMIE, GIMMIE! FIRST NO PIE, NOW THIS! YOU'RE ASKING FOR A WHUPPIN!" Rock shouted, brandishing an oversized chicken wing in the direction of Jericho.
Rock and Y2J now start a tug of war with the plate until Y2J's fingers slip and the plate goes flying upside down onto the floor. As this pathetic display is occurring, Melinda starts to come and stands up.
"What, where the hell am I?" Melinda asked, groggily moving over to the superstar's table.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, MY FOOD, THAT'S IT JABRONI!" Rock exclaimed. Just as he's about to hit Y2J with the extremely large chicken wing in his hand, it accidentally slips out of his grip and hits Melinda on the head which causes her to fall to the ground unconscious, again. (A/N- Yeah, we know just keep reading.)
"Nice job, jackass, look at what you did now." Y2J grunted, staring icily at Rocky.
"Shut up jabroni, it was your fault for making me do that." Rock retorted, as the immature bickering continued between the two.
"Dude, think she'll sue?" Edge asked, looking up at the Rock through his sexy black shades. (Like the ones he wears on TV people. *droolz*)
"Hope not, but it's not like I started it anyways." The People's Champ stated rather immaturely.
"Assclown, you're the one who hit her in the head." Y2J yelled at the Great One.
"Tell you what jabroni, I'll kick you in the crotch and we'll call it even, alright." The Rock replied through gritted teeth, glaring at Y2J.
In the bathroom, Torrie is still having a melt down about her appearance, while the water has gotten up to her chest. "There, done, finally. It'll have to do for now, but I'm not going back out there until I get a proper makeover." Torrie declared, as she put the newly found makeup from the trash away in her purse. "Where did all this water come from anyway? Oh well." She shrugged, walking towards the door even though the water has risen up to her neck. "Actually, I should probably get out of this bathroom now, I think." Torrie pondered uncertainly, but used her better judgment and started to push the door. To her surprise the door doesn't budge. "Uh oh, I'm in trouble now. . . Help . . . please."
*At the table*
"Geez, how long can a girl stay in the bathroom?" Big Show asked with a hint of irritability in his deep voice.
"Well, she could be having some problems at the moment." Debra suggested, although Big show looked as if he didn't comprehended.
"Oh, I see what you mean." Big Show said with a confused expression on his face.
"Steve. . . Steve. . . STEVE!" Debra yelled right in Austin's ear, hoping this strategy would be effective.
"Huh, what, what's happening, is the beer here yet?" Austin stirred groggily, waking up with drool dribbling down his face.
"Honey, you fell asleep and no for the last time they don't have beer at this restaurant." Debra informed her twitching husband. All of a sudden a chicken wing soars through the air, flying by and rolls past Debra on the table.
"What the hell?" Austin roared, as he looked down at the table. He watched the mini-catfight displayed before them, as Rock and Y2J pushed each other with much loathe.
"Sorry Austin, it was Rocky." Jericho accused childishly pointing a finger at Rock.
"WHAT? That's it jabroni, you need a whuppin' now and I mean right now." Rock growled, staring the Canadian rock star down. Just then, in a streak of blond, Y2J bolted out the door. The Rock realized this seconds later and was soon at his heels, yelling profanities that best not to be mentioned.
"That was interesting." Christian declared dully.
"Yeah, it sure was oooo a chicken wing, yum." Big Show said, licking his lips. He picked up the chicken wing and ate it whole, bones and all. "What?"
"Nothing, I didn't say anything." Christian answered. Once Big Show turned his attention elsewhere, Christian's features turned sour and mouthed 'Ewwwww that's so totally gross' to his brother Edge. Edge nodded in agreement, completely disgusted by Show's actions as well. Unnoticed to all, Big Show begins to turn a brilliant shade of blue. Gagging noises could be heard, and he looked as if he was making the international choking symbol. (His hands are clutching his throat.) Oddly enough, no one in the large group seems to realize what's going on and continue on with their conversations and bickering.
All of a sudden Rock comes walking back in looking satisfied then stopping mid way as if waiting for something or someone, then Y2J comes limping in with a black eye and holding his . . .
"What happened to you?" Jeff asked, arching an eyebrow.
"Don't . . . even . . . ask." Y2J choked out in reply.
"The jabroni deserved it." The Rock stated, walking back to his seat, and then suddenly tripping over something making him fall to the ground with a thud. "WHO IN THE BLUE HELL PUT THIS GIRL HERE?"
"Hahahahaha." Jericho fell to the ground laughing his ass off. "OWWWW shouldn't . . . have . . . done . . . that, ow."
"Would you excuse me Mattypoo, I have to go use the powder room, but I'll be back before you know it." Stacy exclaimed in a rather annoying high pitched voice. She got up quickly, but as she was heading towards the bathroom she noticed Big Show's odd discoloration and gagging noises. Stacy shrugged it off at first and continued walking, but when she got halfway to the bathroom she could hear him sputtering, when she knew something was wrong. She turned on her heel and ran over to him. "SHOW? SHOW, TALK TO ME? OH MY GOSH I THINK HE'S CHOKING!" Stacy screamed as Big Show hurled himself up from his seat, causing the other superstars to stop what they were doing.
"NOBODY PANIC, I KNOW THE HYMLIC! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY ELF!" Terri declared as she 'hopped' out of her seat and grabbed her walker. Once she made it over to Big Show his face was now the color of macaroni and cheese. With a rush of adrenaline, Terri hoisted up her walker and began whacking the Big Show in the backside with a considerable amount of force.
"HARDER, HARDER!" Rob Van Dam yelled with enthusiasm, and then went back to sniffing his whiteout. This earned him dirty looks from Matt, Lita, Hurricane and Edge, who were totally grossed out. Christian on the other hand . . .
"YEAH, WHAT HE SAID! MAKE IT HARDER BABY, HARDER! PUSH IT PUSH IT! COME ON, HARDER!" Christian screamed at the top of his lungs, practically jumping out of his seat in excitement. Edge smacked him in the back of the head, in disgust.
"Dude, you're not at home with your private porn collection!" Edge admonished, as his face scrunched up in disgust.
"But Edge . . ." Christian whined, as his brother shook his head firmly.
"Who's hard?" Steph asked curiously.
"Good question." Trish said, looking around the table.
"I assure you it isn't me." Jericho informed, looking down for good measure. Out of nowhere Triple H comes up to the table with a take out bag in one hand, his prized sledgehammer in the other.
"I AM THE GAME! YOU DON'T WANNA PLAY ME!"
"OH, I THINK I FOUND OUR ANSWER GUYS! I HEARD THE GAME WAS HARD!!!" Stephanie smirked at her ex-husband, as his eyes flared with anger. Triple H, too tired to get into an argument with her, stalked off.
"Hey good one Steph." Jericho commented. Stephanie dropped the glass of water she had been drinking all over herself, and the table.
"Did hell just freeze over? I think hell just froze over. Oh holly hell, I'm beginning to sober!" Molly yelled from down the table. Jericho just shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, as Stephanie eyed him oddly.
"Yep, hell froze over, pigs are flying, cows are clucking, bunnies are mowing the lawn, ducks are mooing, kangaroos are square-dancing, penguins are pumping gas, and Paul Heyman just won 'Hunk of the Year'." Lita said in awe. Even Jeff looked at her strangely when she was finished with her little speech. "What bitch, what?"
"Oh god, oh god, I think he's dead!!" Dawn screeched, pointing to Big Show, who still had the large chicken bone logged in his throat.
"Have no fear, Hurricane is here!" Hurricane exclaimed, first stopping to do a superhero pose, then running to where Big Show faintly stood, as he was being beaten by Terri and her steel walker. Hurricane moved behind Terri to try and direct her, and . . . BAM! Our poor superhero got whacked in the head with the walker, and is know sprawled out on the floor, unconscious.
"GET OUTTA MY WAY HURRI-DORK, I'M TRYING TO SAVE A LIFE HERE!" Terri screeched at Hurricane's prone form. Matt got up from his seat and helped Hurricane back to the table before anything else could happen to the poor guy.
Terri, who was about to give up, used all her strength, (which isn't very much people) for one last swing. She swung the walker, hitting Show right in the butt, and surprisingly knocking him down, causing the restaurant to shake. Luckily Terri was there to break his fall, although she did get rather crushed. Upon contact with the floor the chicken bone came shooting out of Big Show's mouth and over the small barrier that separated the nonsmoking section from the smoking section. Terri's muffled cries could be heard from underneath the large man, but no one seemed to pay much mind.
"I thought I saw my life flash before my eyes! Can't you guys figure out when a guy is choking?" Big Show asked angrily.
"Hey, just about everyone at the table is either blond or psycho, so you can't blame us buddy." Matt said twitching up a storm. The past few days hadn't been good to him, in fact we're not sure if he's mentally stable, the poor guy.
Now that everything was under control, Stacy was finally able to get to her original destination. Before leaving, she blew Matt a kiss, and assured him she'd be back in no time. Big Show, for some odd reason, followed her, most likely to check on the whereabouts of Torrie.
"Great, take your time I'm not going anywhere." Matt yelled back. "Quick, is she gone?"
"Yeah, bro, what's . . .?" Jeff began to question in his completely confused manner.
"Great, let's go." Matt said hurriedly, getting up and putting on his jacket ready to leave.
"MATT!" Lita and Stephanie reprimanded.
"Oh all right for crying out loud." Matt sighed in defeat, taking off his jacket and sitting back down.
From the smoking section, two tall drenched figures stood up and were approaching the superstar's table. The slightly shorter man cracked his knuckles, while the other stood, his eyes staring icily through his mask. "Who . . . threw . . . the . . . chicken . . . bone?" The shorter, tattooed one growled, in a gruff voice. The table of superstars gulped, all except for Terri who jumped up from her seat.
"You, you see, this is, is what hap-pened." She stuttered, looking up at the huge men, her voice wavering.
Back in the bathroom, water is still overflowing from the toilet and now from the faucet (which Torrie had turned on and left it on) and has almost reached to the top of the ceiling, Torrie is swimming up and down for air and banging at the door for someone to come and rescue her.
"HELP, ANYONE, HELP, oh it's useless, well I guess this is it, I'm done for it." As Torrie takes one last breath of air, she closes her eyes and floats there waiting, waiting, when suddenly she notices that the water has gone down and she can breathe. "What, what's happening?" She turns to face the door and sees a drenched Stacy Keibler holding the door open letting all the water flow through. "Oh thank you Stacy, you saved my life I'm now in debt to you, thank you, thank you." Torrie thanked breathlessly getting up off the floor and running at Stacy to hug her. Then from behind we see Big Show with a big smile on his face.
"Don't I get a hug too?" Big Show asked, hope in his voice.
"Um . . . yeah right buddy." Torrie replied laughing. "Why should you get one anyways?"
"Well, Stacy wasn't the only one who helped save your life. Do you think she could push open the door all by herself?"
"A . . . well . . . she's not as scrawny as everybody thinks." Torrie stuttered lamely.
"Oh yes I am." Stacy replied completely clueless to the situation. Torrie glared at her
"So where's my hug?" Big Show asked expectantly.
"Oh look a flying cheeseburger with extra anchovies." Torrie exclaimed, pointing in the air behind Big Show.
"What, where?" Big Show asked eagerly, turning his head around with much interest and beginning to drool.
"Get the hell outta my way big man, I gotsta go!!!" Stacy exclaimed pushing past the very confused giant. She shut the door to the ladies room in such a hurry she didn't give Torrie time to leave the rest room. Luckily, the water had stopped flowing in the bathroom, (it was now heading for the rest of the restaurant) so everything was copasetic. Or was it? Torrie, not wanting to spend another second in that horrid bathroom, pushed on the door.
Back at the table, a humungous amount of water came flooding through. Terri, who had been standing without the help of her walker at the time, was swept away by the flood. The water was like rapids, it was extremely ruff, tossing Terri's tiny body around like a rag doll. The rest of the superstar's had somehow seen the water coming, and stood up on their chairs or the table. The water carried Terri all the way to the door, and it looked as if she was going to crash right through it when the door suddenly opened.
"Leaving so soon, Terri dear?" Goldust asked, inhaling deeply, then bit the air, and proceeded to walk into the restaurant, Booker following close behind.
"THANK YOU FOR EATING AT NICE CHINESE RESTURANT! COME AGAIN!" The manager of the restaurant called after Terri, as the flood of water carried her down the street.
"BYE TERRI!" Everyone called from the table, and shrugged it off like nothing happened. The water in the restaurant was now only small puddles, so they were able to sit and wait for their meal.
"Welcome to nice Chinese restaurant!" The manager greeted the Gold One, and the Book. "How meh we help yoo?"
"Yea, get Goldy here and the 5-time, 5-time, 5-time, 5-time, 5-time, WCW champion . . . a table." Booker said looking at the palm of his hand. "And Slappy, make it snappy. Now can you dig that . . ." Booker began to walk off, but seconds later came back to finish his catchphrase. "SUCKA?!" He yelled, and walked away to find a table, Goldust at his heels. This table ironically was right near where the other superstar's were seated.
"Now that that damn flood is over, WHO. . ."
"THREW THAT CHICKEN BONE?" Kane demanded finishing Taker's sentence.
"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO THREW THE CHICKEN BONE!" The Rock yelled. The brothers of destruction blared down at him as he gulped. "Uh. . . W- WH- Why?"
"CAUSE THE PERSON WHO THREW IT IS GONNA GET AN ASS WHUPPIN OF THE CENTURY." Taker hollered back. All of a sudden a wave of chatter broke out among the table as everyone tried to blame one another. "EVERYONE SHUT THE HELL UP!" A figure in a waitress's outfit carrying a tray full of steaming hot soup yelled.
"WHO THE, WHAT THE, WHERE THE HELL DID YOU COME FROM?" Everyone asked in bewilderment. Appearing from the shadows. . .
"AMANDA!" Christian yelled as Hurricane pointed enthusiastically. "I thought you were unconscious over there", glancing at the booth. "Oh never mind."
"Yeah well I woke up and decided to get my ass moving on the job since I work here so go figure." "Even though I'm PROBABLY gonna get fired tomorrow cause I stole a couple of stacks of potatoes for my own pleasure, but that's another story, anyways. . ."
"Um . . . you do realize I feel so totally turned on right now. Mmmmm. . . Potatoes, nice and round and buttery and, and creamy mmmmm. Christian said starting to drool.
"I totally agree with you, you sexy kangaroo." Amanda replied.
"And they thought I was weird." Goldust muttered.
"DUDE, since when did you like women?" Edge asked.
"DUDE, SHUT THE HELL UP BITCH, I've always liked women and they love me. Oh baby, oh baby." Christian retorted.
"Yeah right, you must be delusional." Lita stated.
"A. . . HELLO, WE WERE ABOUT TO GIVE SOMEONE AN ASS WHUPPING SO TELL US WHO THREW THAT GOD DAMN CHICKEN WING." Taker shouted over everyone. "KANE GET THE BLOWTORCH."
"Wait, there's no need for that, I'll tell you two where the chicken wing came from. Well you see it was. . ." Amanda started to explain.
All of a sudden Brock Lesnar and HHH pop in out of thin air. Brock Lesnar was wearing a towel around his waist and HHH happened to be in his birthday suit lovingly caressing a manikin.
"WHAT THE HELL, WHERE AM I?" Brock and HHH exclaimed simultaneously. Just as they finished looking around in puzzlement, they noticed that the group was in hysterics.
"But . . . But Heyman was just giving me a bikini wax for my next photo shoot. Brock explained, in a disappointed tone.
"I was giving Aphrodite mouth to mouth resuscitation in the back seat of my car, I mean a . . . yea." HHH stuttered.
Taker and Kane suddenly turn to each other and nod in agreement; they turn and pounced on Brock and HHH, beating the living daylights out of them. Kane, being highly disgusted with Tripe H's apparel, ripped a table cloth off of one of the booths next to them and threw it at Triple H, hitting him in the face.
"Ouch! My overly large nose has been hit! Why is that always the target?!"
"Probably cause it's so damn huge, ya just can't miss it!" Kane growled, as he turned on the blow torch, staring at the orange and yellow flames it gave off. "And put that on, NO ONE, AND KANE MEANS NO ONE, WANTS TO SEE THAT!"
"Hey, you stole the Rock's line, jabroni!" The Rock exclaimed from his seat. Kane, who was just about to forcefully choke slam Triple H through a table, simply glared at the People's Champ. Triple H took this to his advantage and low blowed Kane, escaping the Big Red Machine's grasp. He grabbed Aphrodite and ran for the hills. As he ran through the restaurant, someone happen to trip over the tablecloth that wrapped loosely around his waste. This sent him flying into the door of the Men's restroom. As he picked himself up from the hard floor, he looked down.
"Uh oh, not again! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Triple H shrieked, as he bolted for the Men's room. When he entered he realized he wasn't the only one there. Passed out by a urinal, was Jazz, drool escaping from *her* open mouth. "DAMN IT!" He yelled as he ran out of the bathroom and strait into the Women's restroom. Three blood curdling screams could be heard throughout the restaurant.
"WAIT, DON'T SHUT THE . . ." The girls yelled simultaneously as the door clicked shut. "Door."
"What the hell is that?" Torrie squeaked, looking at Triple H in horror.
"Oh this, this is Aphrodite, my uh . . . my good friend?"
"No she didn't mean that . . . I think she was talking about that! It's so small!" Stacy exclaimed in awe, as Triple H turned a bright shade of red.
"Give me a break! It's cold in this place!" Triple H attempted to cover, but the girls simply fell over laughing.
"Oh . . . lord . . . I'm . . . going . . . to . . . die!" Torrie said in between fits of laughter. Triple H glared at the girls, and ran over to the trash can. He sifted through it, hoping to find something he could wear until he got back to his hotel. The two diva's cackles had been suppressed to stifled giggles, as they tried to contain themselves.
"SCOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEE!" Triple H exclaimed as he pulled out a ragged piece of clothing from the trash.
"You're . . . NOT serious, are you?" Stacy asked bursting into yet another fit of giggles. "Can't . . . breathe . . . need . . . oxygen!"
"What? I got nice legs!" Triple H exclaimed, glaring at Stacy.
"YOU got nice legs? I got nice legs, BITCH!" Stacy stated, brandishing a long leg in his face.
"Yeah, if you like anorexic rag dolls." Triple H retorted.
"Did he just punk you out? Oh, I think he just punked you out! What ya gonna do about that sista?" Torrie asked, staring icily at Triple H.
"Oh, you best not be gettin' all up in mah face! You best be backin' up bitch!" Stacy warned, doing the 'finger snap and head bob'.
"YOU GO GIRL!" Torrie yelled, shaking the pompoms that she had found in the trash supportively.
"I will not have two whores diss me! IT'S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!"
"Oh, I prefer Candy Land, can we play that?" Stacy asked, not quite understanding Triple H's catchphrase.
"Oh that's it slut, your going down." Triple H said as he and Stacy proceeded clawing and slapping each other.
"2, 4 . . . what's the next number, oh yeah 6. . . then . . . ah . . . 12, 86 oh whatever GO um. . . St . . . Tracy, Pacy, Macy, or now wait, it's uh . . . Stacy! GO Stacy!" Torrie started to shout when the fight broke out, as she waved her pompoms frantically.
"SHUT UP!" Both Stacy and Triple H yell, pausing only for a moment to push Torrie into a nearby stall. Unfortunately for Torrie, she lost her balance and fell face first right into a . . .
"EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! The toilet! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH, I think I'm stuck! EW, I think some one forgot to flush! Oh, it really smells in here. Please help I'm stuck! MOMMMMMMMMMMY!" Torrie sputtered. She began to flail her arms around, hoping to attract the attention of the oblivious pair, and in turn ended up hitting the handle on the toilet, unintentionally making it flush. Basically she was giving herself a swirly, and she oddly enough kept her hand on the button for quite sometime. "What the hell is going on! AHHHHHHHHHHH! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPP! Hey, this actually feels kinda good. Kinda like a face massage . . . That reminds me, I have to book a facial at the spa!"
Triple H wobbled over to the Ladies room door with much trouble, as Stacy had put up quite a fight. "Now how the hell do you open this thing?" He grumbled, as he pushed with all his might, but the door would not budge.
"Oh we were having the same trouble! We couldn't figure out how to open that door for the life of us, that's why we're stuck in here!" Stacy groaned from her seat in the trash can.
"Yep." Torrie agreed, continually flushing the toilet.
"Oh great, just great! Well that's what my trusty sledge hammer is for . . ." Triple H began a psychotic glint in his eye. Seconds later he was breaking down the door with his sledge hammer, and was finally able to get out. Had the three only seen the 'Pull' sign above the door, they most likely would have been out much sooner.
(Onthaedge487- *shrugs* "Idiocy must be a blond thing . . ."
Live4thaXtreme- *nods* "Yep.")
"We're free, we're free at last." Stacy sighed with relief. "Now Torrie, come on, it's time to go, that's enough for today." Stacy grabbed Torrie by the legs and began to drag her, kicking and screaming out of the bathroom.
"But . . . but its fun! SWIRLIE, SWIRLIE! WOOOOOOOOO!" Torrie whined, not wanting to part with the toilet.
"You can give yourself a swirlie when we get back to the hotel. But for now, we have to eat. I'm sure that by now our food is here and everyone is eating . . . OH MY GOSH! I left Matty for soooo long, he must miss me terribly . . . I know I almost died without him!"
"He hates you!" Torrie exclaimed, pouting.
"He does not! He's just . . . shy!"
"Does anyone give a damn that I'm still here?" Triple H asked, feeling a bit left out.
"No." They both answered simultaneously.
"Thanks a lot psycho, the one time we're glad that you had that sledge hammer with you." Torrie commented as the girls departed the bathroom. They slowly began to walk back towards the table.
"Ow, I'm going to need a wheelchair after all this, make it a stretcher. Jeez." Stacy groaned, rubbing her lower back. "Hey . . . which way was the table anyway?"
"Beats me." Torrie replied, equally clueless, but not at all phased.
"MATTTTTY!" Stacy howled like a lone wolf on a dark evening when the moon is full. It was almost as if it were hopeless.
Triple H groggily exited the Ladies room, silently sneaking past a very lost Torrie and Stacy, and hobbled back to the table. "I SURVIVED! I SURVIVED BECAUSE I AM THAT DAMN GO--" Triple H was abruptly cut off when someone dropped onto his back from the ceiling. "Ow! What the h- SHAWN?!"
"Ya can't hunt what ya can't kill, Hunter. What the . . . are you wearing a . . ." HBK began, while continually punching Triple H.
"Dress. That dress, it looks so familiar. Hey Christian, isn't that the one Grandma Edna gave you for Christmas last . . . OW, dude that was so totally uncool!" Edge exclaimed, recoiling from the elbow to his gut that he'd just received from his brother.
"DUDE, NO ONE'S SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOOT THE DRESS THING!"
"You wear dresses?" Amanda asked, momentarily looking up from her potato calendar, entitled, Unpeeled.
"UH . . . I uh . . ."
"THAT'S SOOOOOOOO HOT CHRISTIAN! Do you know how turned on I am right now? Is it hot in here?" Amanda responded, practically drooling. Christian in response blushed, hiding shyly behind Edge. "You could come over and try on MY dresses . . ." She said suggestively.
"Dude, I think she likes ya. Just go for it! Although she's kinda freaky and weird and scary, and, well I think she's your type . . ."
"Oh look at the HOT spud! Wouldn't I like to roast that baby! WORK IT BABY, WORK IT! YOU CAN DOOOOOOOO IT!" Amanda yelled excitedly at the calendar.
"Is Trip's wearing a pink frilly dress with butterflies, or is my eyes playing dirty, dirty tricks on me . . . again." Matt said, with a fearful yet psychotic glint in his eyes.
"YES OKAY . . . OW . . . I AM . . . OW . . . WEARING A . . . OW . . . DRESS! OWWW, GEEZ SHAWN! NO, NO DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH APHRODITE! OW . . ." Triple H screamed, between a severe beating from the Heartbreak Kid.
"Serves you right bitch . . . ewww, where the hell has this thing been?" HBK asks, disgustedly looking at the mannequin, which Triple H referred to as Aphrodite. "Oh gawd, I don't even want to know . . . You were always a sick f-f-f-freak Hunter."
"WHAT IS WITH STEALING THE ROCK'S CATCHPHARSES? WOULD YOU PLEASE SHUT THE HELL UP?"
"Hey Jerky, you just stole my *best* catchphrase! I was actually popular when I said that! WAZUPWITDAT?!" Jericho yelled, highly offended.
"You just stole MY only catchphrase, you reekaziod! THAT SO TOTALLY REEKS OF HEINIOUSITY!" Everyone looked at Hurricane in shock at the sudden outburst. "What?" He asked, staring blankly at everyone at the table. Everyone stared back at him, minus Amanda, Christian and Edge who were having a friendly conversation about her potato obsession and Christian's dress fetish.
"DAMN YOU SUPER DORK, THAT'S MAH DAMN CATCHPHRASE! I'M GONNA COME DOWN THERE AND KICK YOU'RE WHINY LIL ASS! NOW CAN YOU DIG THAT . . . SUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKAAAAAAAA?!!!" Stone Cold yelled suddenly, and the disgruntled super-hero sat down.
"Oh hell no! This is my yard, and in my yard, NO ONE takes my catchphrases! Big Evil's gonna get ya!" Booker T warned from the table next to theirs.
"Sumbitch, I won't be having that! I AM THE GAME, YOU WANNA PLAY ME?" Undertaker roared, glaring at Booker. "I AM THAT DAMN GOOD." Several of the superstars then began to brawl, others sat hungry (yes they still haven't received food), and confused.
"Game over." Shawn Michaels smirked, giving an unconscious Triple H one last kick in the crotch. "Oh crap . . . I'm late for my Church prayer group meeting!" With that HBK dashed out of the restaurant, leaving some superstars confused with the whole ordeal. The brawl over the catchphrases was coming to a close as the victor stood on top on their table to celebrate.
"I AM A LIVING LEDGEND!" Jericho bellowed. "I WON, I BEAT ALL THOSE ASSCLOWNS!"
"No you didn't, they beat each other up, and you just stood there . . ." Matt began.
"Until the whole damn thing was over, you wuss." Lita finished. Matt gave her a brief smile which she returned.
"Don't say that about Jericho . . ." Steph trailed off. Realizing the words that had just slipped from her lips, she immediately covered her mouth in shock and embarrassment. Chris however, either didn't hear her comment, or settled on ignoring it. Seconds later, Stacy and Torrie came bursting in, huffing and puffing. In pure joy of finding their way back to the table, Stacy jumped on the table and started dancing. Jericho of course took no notice of this; he was too self absorbed in his own little celebration to care.
"I'M THE . . . WHAT THE . . . WHO THE HELL IS THROWING POPCORN?" Jericho screamed, baffled at who would have the nerve to ruin his little celebration, let alone throw buttery pieces of popcorn at him. A waitress nearby chuckled, as she chucked more popcorn in Jericho's direction.
"I'M FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" Stacy screeched, not taking notice of the pieces of popcorn hitting her, as well as Jericho.
"Let's try this again . . . I'M THE KI . . . ALRIGHT, WHOEVER IS TRHOWING THAT IS GONNA FEEL THE WRATH OF THE KING!" Jericho bellowed, looking around the restaurant for the culprit.
"aZrAeL, whatcha doin'? Can I help . . . pwease?" Amanda asked in a childish tone, suddenly appearing next to aZrAeL.
"Can't you see I'm busy? I got a pansy to torture . . . do we have any ham?" aZrAeL asked suddenly, a smirk appearing on her face.
"Just cause this is restaurant doesn't mean we have food . . ." Amanda answered, as aZrAeL cursed. "And what do you need ham for, when you can use POTATOES!"
"Good Lord . . . how can we not have any food? What have you been giving the customers?"
"Uh . . . water . . . and . . . um . . . straws . . . ah . . . yep."
"Damnit! Well, I'll have to deal with that later because Jerky over there is asking for it!" aZrAeL sighed, looking back at Jericho who was still on the table, scanning the room for the popcorn thrower.
"Asking for what?" Amanda asked, highly confused. "Can I help you? I *am* supposed to be working you know . . ."
"NO! I don't want a moronic idiot to foil my plans." aZrAeL responded firmly.
"What does moronic mean?"
"Argh! Why don't you go back to you're dress wearing boy friend and LEAVE me ALONE!"
"Cool." Amanda replied happily.
"EVERYTHING'S COOL WHEN YOU'RE ROB VAN DAM!" RVD shouted doing the thumb thing, gaining a glare from Molly.
"I'M FREEEEEEEEEEEEEE! WOOOOOOOOOO! MATTY I MISSED YOU! ARE YOU WATCHING ME DANCE?" Stacy yelled, as Matt winced. "I'M FREE AS A BIRD, FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE . . ." Stacy stopped abruptly when a piece of flying popcorn landed into her open mouth. "I'm . . . choking . . .*cough* . . . *gag* . . . *sputter* . . . Matty . . . help . . . C . . . P . . . R . . . *gag.*" Stacy croaked, as she fell on the table, and then proceeded to fall on the floor.
"Anyways . . . so . . . how's the weather? Is it snowing out?" Matt asked, completely ignoring Stacy.
"Hmmm . . . could be. Maybe we should check . . ." Lita said, attempting to get up, but a hand grabbed her leg.
"Excuse . . . me . . . help . . . please . . . I . . . need . . . *gag* . . . ass . . . I . . . *sputter* . . . mean . . . *choke* . . . assistance." Stacy choked, tugging on Lita's leg.
"Oh alright. Let's help her before Vince suspends our pay . . . or us." Lita sighed, and Matt twitched.
"But I uh gotta go to the bathroom! Ah I gosta gooooo! Ah gosta goooo! Ah ain't foolin' neither!" Matt bluffed, trying to get out of the situation.
"But Mattie . . . ah gotta go too!" Jeff said, jumping up and down, with his legs crossed. "Uh oh . . ."
"Jesus Jeff, not on the plant! Damn . . . too late."
"I don't have to go anymore . . . Matty." Jeff declared zippering up.
"NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THAT JEFF, PUT IT BACK, PUT IT BACK!"
"Hehe, sowry . . . but I had to go."
"Hello, Legs over there is choking!" Stephanie reminded them, pointing and staring at her in amusement. "Oh look she's turning purple, oh she's turning blue now, ha, that's funny.
"Well it's not like anyone here knows the hymlic maneuver . . ." Big Show grunted, remembering the past events.
"I got an idea . . . it'll either help her, or . . . . Hurt her so she's near death . . ." Lita suggested.
"I'm willing to take the risk." Matt agreed shrugging. Lita nodded with a smile, and then proceeded to kick Stacy in the gut. She continued this action, but Stacy only continued to choke. "OOOO, that looks like mad fun!" Matt quickly ran over and joined Lita with the beating.
"Ow . . . *gag* . . . that's . . . *cough* . . . not . . . *sputter* . . . helping . . .!" Stacy said, now a deep shade of red. She gasped for air. aZrAeL took notice of what was going on, and her mind momentarily moved from torturing Jericho, to torturing Stacy.
"Hey, you can't hurt . . . I mean save a life without me!" aZrAeL yelled, and quickly ran to help 'save' Stacy.
"Feeling any better Stacy?" Lita asked a psychotic look in her eye.
"Actually . . . *gag* . . ."
"Don't worry about it; I'll get that popcorn outta there!" Lita exclaimed, kicking Stacy even harder. "Stupid . . . dumbass . . . popcorn . . . come . . . ouuttttttttttt!" Lita yelled, and with each word she delivered a devastating kick to Stacy.
"That's mah kinda girl." Matt said, giving Lita a smile. Then suddenly with a powerful kick to her ass, the piece of popcorn flew out of Stacy's mouth, leaving her sputtering on the floor.
"You saved me! Thank you soooooooooo much!"
"Aw damn . . . that wasn't supposed to happen." Matt mumbled, under his breath. Lita nodded, clearly disappointed as well. "Well there goes all my excitement for the day, damn it."
"I'LL GIVE YOU EXCITEMENT MATTY!! YOU'RE MY HERO!"
"Help . . ." Matt whimpered.
"Now for that ham . . ." aZrAeL muttered, a scheme forming in her head. All this time Jericho had been still been scanning the room for the culprit. Now realizing that it seemed safe, he began his 'celebration' again.
"Okay Chris you're gonna get this right. I'M THE KING OF THE . . . OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! The . . . the golden . . . scepter . . . not . . . again." Jericho croaked, as he hunched over in pain. A giant ham fell to the ground next to him, and everyone doubled over in laughter.
"HELL YEAH! Bull's eye!" aZrAeL exclaimed, clearly happy with the results of her throw.
"Nice shot." A gruff voice said from behind her.
"Thanks . . . wait a minute you're . . . you're . . ."
"The Deadman? In the flesh. Finally someone gave that little dipshit what he deserved." Undertaker commented, looking down at aZrAeL.
"Thanks, I agree. Pain in my ass, he is."
"Know the feeling. Not to change the subject but where the hell did Kane go anyway?" Taker asked looking around curiously for Kane.
"Dunno."
"Let's pray to God that he didn't get ANYWHERE near the matches . . . or candles . . . or anything flammable of any kind."
"Ohhhhh, look at the flame . . . Purdy. Ouchies that hurt! Hehehe, I wonder what would happen if I . . ." Kane trailed off curiously, letting his actions answer his question. He had been not too far away from aZrAeL and Taker, and luckily they heard him mumbling and quickly dashed over. Unfortunately, they were just a little late. "Oopsy."
"KANE, LOOK WHAT YOU DID!" Taker roared, obviously not very pleased with the situation before him.
"Hehehe whoops. It slipped, I swear."
"Is it hot in here, or is it just me? Mmmmm, what's that smell . . . bacon? BACOOOOOOOONNNNN!" Trish yelled happily.
"Uh . . . Trish? You're on fire." Matt said, shocked at the fact that she was so calm.
"I know, I'm sizzlin' ain't I? I feel the burn baby!"
"NO dumbass, he means YOU ARE ON FIRE! AS IN, YOUR HAIR, IS BURNING UP . . . do you not feel the burning sensation between your ears?" Molly roared, it was clear she was sobering but her attitude was staying.
"Oh . . . that. Put it out, PUT . . . IT . . . OUT!!!" Trish screamed her hair ablaze. "SHIT, I'M GONNA DIE! NOOOOOOOOO, MY HAIR! KANE, YOU'RE PAYING FOR MY WIG . . . I'M GONNA NEED ONE! WILL SOMEBODY PUT IT OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTT?!" Trish wailed, jumping up and down.
"Ooooh, fire. It's bootyful. I want *my* hair to look like that . . . lucky bitch." Amanda said enviously eyeing Trish's smoking hair.
"Stand back, there's a Hurricane coming through!" Hurricane yelled, leaping in front of Trish, and then paused to do a superhero pose. "I'll stop those villainous flames from burning a hole through your slutty head."
"We're all doomed . . ." Stephanie said, still sitting comfortably at her seat, rolling her eyes.
With that Hurricane looked around for something to put out the fire. He noticed Dawn Marie and Edge having a argument over a bottle of hairspray, and sneakily swooped in, snatching the bottle away from them.
"Hey you stupid freak! Gimmie my hairspray back!" Dawn whined, attempting to get it back from the superhero.
"Yeah dude, it was *my* turn to use it!" Edge piped in, rising from his seat.
"No, it wasn't! It's *mine*! You can't use it, I don't share. Plus I have to look good for Mr. McMahon! GIVE IT BACK!" Dawn yelled, but it was no use as Hurricane had slipped away while she and Edge were fighting. "DAMN IT! This is your fault!"
"Uh uh . . . it was yours! That so totally reeked of stinkitude!"
"But now my hair is going to look crappy for Mr. McMahon!"
"Would you please . . . SHUT THE HELL UP?!" Debra yelled, admonishing the two. "Geez, I just got Stevie to sleep, and if he wakes up, you're dead meat." She glanced down at Austin, who was now sleeping like a baby with his head in his *empty* plate, drooling.
"BEEEEEEEEEEER! Me . . . want . . . beer . . . yummy . . . mommy . . . bring . . . me . . . beer." Steve grumbled, stirring a bit in his sleep.
"Beer? Where? Who? Where's the fire? Beer . . . yummy." Molly asked perking up at the sound of beer.
"Fire's over there . . ." RVD said sniffing what must have been his twentieth bottle of whiteout.
"Oh . . . FIREWORKS! PURDY!" Molly exclaimed referring to Trish's head, which had yet to be put out. Just at that second Hurricane ran over to Trish, hairspray in hand.
"HEEELLLLLP!" Trish screeched, flailing her arms about like a deranged chicken.
"Have no fear, Hurricane is here!" Hurricane declared, and with that he began to spray Trish's head with the hairspray.
"Wait . . . what is that shit?" Matt asked, a little concerned.
"Dunno, but it smells nass." Jeff answered, taking a big whiff of the air. "Ohhhhh . . . yum . . . hehehe."
"The Rock wants to know why that freaky shit made that big ball of fire get bigger and bigger . . . . And bigger . . . and closer . . . and closer . . . and closer . . . The Rock is about to piss the People's pants!" The Rock whimpered, noticing the flames on Trish's head increase greatly.
"STOP DROP AND ROLL!" Big Show hollered finally taking interest to what was going on. With that Trish threw herself to the rather dirty floor, and began to roll about.
"I'M ROLLIN', I'M ROLLIN'! IT AIN'T DOIN' SHIT! HEEEEELLLLLLLLLP!" Trish shrieked, continuing to roll and squeal like a pig in mud.
"Huh . . . Trish kinda reminds me of the pet piggy me Grandma had . . . odd resemblance." aZrAeL remarked, smirking.
"I'll save you!" Jeff yelled, as he ran to the kitchen to get some water. He quickly grabbed a HUGE pail and began too fill it. As the water fell into the pail, Jeff could feel his throat go dry. Jeff shrugged it off and began to run with the pail filled with water. About halfway to the table the urge to quench his thirst plagued him yet again. "Maybe if I take a little sip . . ." Jeff said, and began to down the water, still running. Not looking where he was going, Jeff tripped on Jericho (who was still on the ground in pain from the ham aZrAeL threw at him) and the water pail flew out of Jeff's hands and sailed through the air. "Whoopsy."
"Hey Jeff did you get the . . ." Matt began but stopped abruptly as he saw the pail flying through the air, then splashed all over . . .
"WHAT?!" Stone Cold bolted up, waking from his slumber feeling the ice cold liquid running down his spine.
"THE ROCK WANTS TO KNOW WHY YOU SOAKED HIM TO THE B-B-B-BONE! YOU KNOW WHAT JABRONI? THE ROCK IS GONNA TAKE THAT PAIL, SHINE IT UP REAL NICE, TURN IT SIDESWAYS AND STICK IT STRAIGHT UP YOU'RE CANDY ASS, JABROINI!" The Rock yelled, as his teeth chattered.
"YOU'RE A DEADMAN WALKING, HARDY! BIG EVIL'S A COMIN'. . ." Taker roared, shaking the freezing cold water off. It looked like the three, soaked, angry wrestlers were about to kill the next thing they came in contact with.
"I'M BACCCCKKKK! AND BADDER THAN EVA!" A voice yelled from behind them. Austin, Rock and Taker nodded and rose from their seats, still dripping wet.
"HELLO, DID YOU PEOPLE FORGET ABOOT ME? I'M ON FIRE HERE! HEELLLPPP!" Trish yelled from the ground.
"Shhh . . . this should be good." Stephanie said, waving a dismissive hand at Trish.
"I, the GM of RAW think you people have had spent well over 3 minutes in this fic . . . wait a second . . . did I just hear myself say 3 . . ." Eric Bitchoff (hehe, type-po . . . *evil grin*) did not get to finish as the three angry, water drenched wrestlers pounced on him, beating the living hell out of him. "Ow . . . Jamal . . . Rosie . . . MOMMMMMMMY!"
"GO TAKER GO! BEAT THAT SON OF BITCH! MAKE HIM RESPECT YOU!" aZrAeL shouted, highly enjoying the beating.
"OKAY, SOMEONE HELP ME DAMN IT! I'M ON FIRE! DOES THIS NOT MATTER TO YOU PEOPLE?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Trish screamed, near tears.
"Oh you . . . right." Steph said, reluctantly tearing her gaze from Bitchoff 's ass whupping.
"OHHH, I'LL HELP, I'LL HELP!" Stacy shouted, running into the kitchen to fill up yet another pail. "A pail, a pail where would I find a pail? And where would I find some water . . . I wonder." Stacy pondered to herself as she bustled around the kitchen. "Hmmmm, this will do . . . yay, go me!" Stacy exclaimed happily finding a pail filled with a clear substance, and out of joy she began singing, "Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pail of water," Stacy continued to sing (it more or less sounded like she was screaming for bloody murder) as she skipped out to the table. "JACK FELL DOWN AND BROKE HIS CROWN," at that exact moment Stacy tripped over herself making the liquid in the pail go flying into the air and onto Trish's head. But to Y2J's disappointment the pail landed on his . . .
"OWWWWWWW, DAMN IT . . . STACY . . . YOU ASSCLOWN . . . ISN'T IT BAD . . . ENOUGH THAT . . . I'M ON THE . . . FLOOR HOLDING MY . . . CEPTOR WHEN . . . THAT DAMN PAIL . . . HAD TO COME . . . LANDING ONTO . . . ME TOO!" Y2J tried to say through clenched teeth with tears in his eyes.
"And Jill came tumbling after, whoopsy sorry Y2J I couldn't stop. . ."
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'M STILL BURNING AHHHHHHHHH PUT ME OUT, PUT ME OUT, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" Trish said screaming out in pain.
"I SMELL BEER, WHERE, WHAT, WHO'S GOT THE BEER?" Austin and Molly said simultaneously. They both leapt out of their chair, hell-bent on finding the alcohol. Letting her nose lead the way, Molly found the pail picked it up, taking a big whiff. "BEEEEEEEEEEER, I FOUND THE BEEEEEEEEEER." "WHAT? WHAT? YOU FOUND THE WHAT? GIMME IT BEFORE I START SPAZING OUT AGAIN." Austin yelled back. "NOOOOOOO I FOUND IT FIRST, IT'S ALL MINE." "NO IT'S MINE I NEED IT MORE." As the two started arguing Molly placed the pail down on a table so that they would not knock it over.
"HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLO ARE YOU PEOPLE STUPID OR JUST REALLY SLOW, DO YOU NOT SEE A WOMAN RUNNING AROUND WITH HER HEAD ON FIRE?!" Trish yelled even louder so that everyone in the world could hear her.
"Matty, I'm still really thirsty can you get me a glass of water, pleaseeeee." Jeff said pleadingly. "Jeff go get something to drink yourself, you got legs." Matt said annoyed.
"Did somebody say legs?" Stacy asked.
"Oh god, please take me now." Matt said falling to his knees, shaking his fists in the air. Just then Jeff picked up the bucket of beer and took a big gulp not stopping to breathe. "Jeff, what the hell are you drinking? Oh lord, this can't be good."
"Hiccup . . . Matty . . . try some . . . this is . . . this is . . . tha shit yo." Jeff slurred, swaying from side to side. Matt thought about it for a second, then mentally making a decision.
"I hope it is, cause I'm gonna need it." Matt grabbed the pail and began gulping it down. "Mmmm, hard liquor . . . yummy. Yup, dat's da shit."
~*~Author's Note's~*~
Heh, sorry we ended it like that . . . it was getting way to long . . . one more chapter of the group date . . . we hope. Well, so far we've produced our best material within the group date, so it can't be the worst thing right? Oh, and aZrAeL, we apologize if we didn't write you the way you would have liked, but we just really wrote the first thing that came to mind. If we offended you or anyone else we're sorry . . . Heh. But it's our fic right? Anywayz, PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! We're hoping for like 10 reviews for this chapter, if not it's cool, but we'd really appreciate it.
*Things to Look For In Upcoming Chapters (hopefully):
Will Trish's hair ever be put out?
Will Austin and Molly get their beer?
Will the gang ever get any food?
Can Stacy get any dumber? (answer . . .yes)
Will Matt and Lita hook up?
What's up with Steph and Jericho?
Will Angle ever carry out his plan?
Will Angle and Mr. Fluffums make up?
Why is Dawn in this story? . . . she serves no purpose . . . Will she leave?
Look for appearances in upcoming chapters by the following People:
AngryMew2
Rayne, The Fallen Angel
YamiShiningFriendship
CK
Ashley
aZrAeL (a returning guest in the near future)
Most of these People will be in the next chapter, but it depends on if we can come up with ideas for you. So, don't worry if you're not in Chapter 11, you will be in an upcoming chapter, and all of these people will be crazed fans, or people on the job. You'll all have interaction with the superstars, don't worry. Okay, I think we're just about done here . . . Please read and review, as always. Toodlez!