Disclaimer: It has come to my attention that I do not own Usagi or any of the other YYH characters! What a shocker! O.O
Author Notes: Hey everyone! I'll attempt to keep this as short and simple as possible. Fact of the matter is, if it wasn't for the occasional review alerts coming in, I would've long forgotten about this story. I'm no longer actively writing in the SM crossover fandom, so it comes as a huge surprise to me that people are even reading it! The biggest problem for me is beyond the fact that my interest in this fic has just about disappeared, I'm also unsure how to end this fic. Those of you familiar with my work will know that battle scenes aren't my strongest points.
Anywho, point being: Here are a few pages to tide you over. I'm not sure when the next update will be either. I haven't really bothered to edit it too much from when I wrote it a year ago, so here it is in all its unedited glory! (Dear god, was my writing style that bad back then? -.-) Enjoy! ^_^
Dedicated to: All my wonderful fans and reviewers, and especially to Kirstian, my awesome imouto-chan who never stops supporting the junk I churn out ^_^
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One Day at a Time: Chapter 5
She lay there silently. Most of the times, she would just look out of the window, blindly staring, seeing nothing in front of her. In her mind, the drums of defeat beat their song in tribute to her pathetic downfall at the hands of Yuusuke. She had lost, and deep within her blood, the demon laughed scornfully at her attempts to defeat Yuusuke in her ningen form.
I warned you, but you wouldn't listen…
Usagi wouldn't be able to hold out much longer. Her body cried for sleep, and her eyes were bloodshot with fatigue. How long had it been since she last slept? More than three weeks, she thought grimly, by sustaining herself on that damned drug. She hated the chemical dependence but until she could figure out a solution, she had no other choice. She hated those white pills with a passion, and how the combination of chemicals and neurotransmitters being absorbed into her blood would allow her to stay awake just for 24 hours more.
Though the effects had long since worn off, Usagi found her brain too wired to need the stimulant. From experience, she knew that the weariness would creep upon her without warning, and she needed her dosage soon. But she was unable to leave the prison that they had locked her up in. She stared at her black boots longingly, and with surprising strength, she pushed herself to a sitting position before swinging her legs off the bed. She tried to stand upon them, but found them as wobbly as Jello. Grabbing onto the IV stand for support, she slowly made her way over to the boots and dropped to her knees as she frantically searched for the pills that would keep the demons at bay. Growling in frustration, she slammed her boot to the ground before noticing another set of boots standing near her.
"Looking for this perhaps?" Hiei asked smoothly with an edge to his voice as he dangled a set of pills in front of her face.
She scrambled to her feet, and before she could grab the bottle away from him he had already tossed them out the window.
"Nooooo!!!!" She shrieked, watching the bottle as it vanished from sight. Whirling around, she glared at him angrily though her world went topsy-turvy for a second with her quick motions. "What the hell did you do that for?"
"I know you use it to keep yourself awake," he answered. "And the secrets that you keep from our group grow more dangerous by the moment."
"If you recall, I never asked for any of you to come along with me." She almost snarled out, furious at her privacy being violated.
"Why do you need those pills?" He asked once again, his voice like steel. "Answer me. Why is it so important that you stay awake?"
"Why should I tell you anything? It's my business, and as long as it doesn't affect anyone else or my performance, it doesn't matter."
"But it damn well nearly did. Look at what happened to you. You can barely stand up on your own, and you almost wound up dead. And you could've gotten the others killed as well."
"It doesn't affect my performance damnit. I made sure of that. You think I want to take those stupid pills???? You think I'd do it if I had a choice?"
"Why, then Usagi? Why?"
She held on to her silence stubbornly while staring out the window. Hiei, frustrated beyond belief, grabbed her by the shoulders. "Look at me! Why the hell do you need those pills?" He took a hold of her chin and tilted her face so that they were almost at eye-level. "Now tell me the…" His anger fled his body abruptly as what he saw in those bottomless deep blue eyes tugged at his soul. They were huge, brimming with tears and resignation.
Her voice was so soft that he almost missed what she said next. "So he can't get me…"
"So who can't get you?" He asked equally softly.
She was so tired, tired of carrying her heavy burden alone. No one else had ever known the truth. Why had she chosen the fire demon to tell her story? Because he had kept his promise to her, just like he said he would. Trust… a simple word to convey an action that she had found herself incapable of. Trust… she would give it the demon in front of her because he had proven himself to her. He hadn't known the consequences nor the importance of her request, yet he had made sure she stayed awake.
"The demon… so the demon can't get to me," she whispered.
Hiei froze next to her as his suspicions came true. Except he would've never guessed in a million years why it was so.
"Tell me…" There was an unknown emotion in his normally monotone voice, one that sealed her decision to tell him.
"I've died the first time while saving a child from a demon's clutches. I had been sent to become a detective for Koenma because I had died before I was supposed to. I had rescued Koenma once so in return, he set me free, back to my world, with no ties to my previous job. The second time I died was just three weeks ago, while I was trying to capture a particularly nasty demon. For some reason, unlike the first time, I somehow avoided going through the whole process again, and it was only until last week that I discovered why. I'm not purely human anymore…"
"I know…"
Her eyes flew towards him in shock. "How did you?"
"Dr. Mizuno told me."
"I… oh god… it lives and it breathes in me. It exists in my blood, and it's only through sheer willpower that I manage to keep the demon at bay. It wants to take over my soul, and regain control of what it lost so many years ago. It wants the makai back in its hands."
The story she was telling had an eerily familiar ring to it, and Hiei hoped it wouldn't happen all over again.
"This is why I have to find Yuusuke." She said with determination.
"Why?"
"He is my brother. My twin to be exact."
The stunned silence that greeted her was not unexpected, though the slew of curses that Hiei spat out afterwards did cause her to cringe slightly.
"How did you find out?"
"My mother… she told me once she wasn't my birth mother when I was a child. After she… died, I went through her diary and found out the truth. She had written about meeting this woman in the park, who could not handle the burden of two babies. My mother was kind, and could not have children of her own. She told me when she first set eyes on me, an instant bond had been forged, and she loved me right away."
"Why didn't you go to your birth mother once you found out the truth?"
"I… I had other things to cope with," she replied as her eyes darkened.
"More important things than finding your real parents and your brother?"
"She chose to give ME up. She chose to keep her son, my brother. Why the hell should I go look for her?"
"If I knew I had a sibling out there, I would do everything in my power to be with them."
"I was seven when I lost the only mother that mattered to me. She DIED in front of me. I stood there and watched her get ripped into shreds by a demon. I heard her screams, saw the blood drip from her lifeless body, and the glazed eyes that would never see again. Do you know what that's like? Do you????" She shrieked at him, hating him at that very moment for dragging up memories she did not want to remember.
"And what happened to you?" He asked, knowing full well what had happened next.
"I saw her in front of me, bleeding, and the demon dangling her like a rag doll." Her voice had become almost child-like in nature, as her eyes took on a faraway look and began sobbing uncontrollably. "I begged it to stop hurting Mommy, but it just laughed… the bad thing just laughed at me… and it wouldn't stop. Mommy had stopped screaming, and I knew she wasn't coming back for me. She was going to leave me alone. It threw Mommy's body against me, and I fell down. Her blood… it dripped all over my party dress. And I got so angry. I hated that thing that just killed my Mommy. So I grabbed a stick and jumped at him. And I stuck the stick right through his chest. And I watched it die in front of me. Mommy was never coming back again. She wouldn't sing me songs to sleep… or hold me when I was scared. She would never have that special smile for me when she told me how much she loved me, and how special I was. I would never smell that scent of her perfume, or eat the chocolate chip cookies she baked so well. She was gone, just like that. Because of some demon."
Hiei grabbed her by her shoulders once again, and shook her hard. She was losing control. He believed he understood why she took the pills now. It had always been about control. She refused to give into the demon and she was going to fight it for as long as she could. She blinked owlishly at him before regaining her senses. Her face took on a cold expression as she continued.
"It had destroyed my life that day, and I swore to God that this would never happen to anyone else again. After I buried my mother, I began training under a bounty hunter who I had harassed until he had agreed to help me. Now that I've died twice, the demon is now a part of me, and I loathe it with every fiber of my being… and I would rather kill myself than let it take over. Since that hasn't happened yet, I must find Yuusuke and stop him." Laughing cynically, she spoke again. "The demon knows that I can't defeat Yuusuke in my current state. It knows that I need to become my demon self before I even stand a chance."
The strength that emanated from her was mind-boggling. And even though she didn't say it out loud, Hiei instinctively knew that she hated the weaknesses that she had, and the dependencies she had on those stupid pills. She had only taken them because that was the only way she could stay awake, and remain in control. "What will you do when you find him?"
"I…" She faltered slightly, and the barest hint of emotion showed up in her eyes. "I've never had a brother in my life, a sibling… someone who understands everything I'm going through. But I cannot allow him to continue destroying lives the way he has!"
"The way yours was?" Hiei asked softly with the most curious look on his face. The look of empathy in his eyes almost knocked her off her feet. He seemed to understand her need to find Yuusuke, and the need to belong to someone. From the moment she had lost her mother, she had been alone in this world, and her mission to stop demons from murdering humans had been her sole reason for existing for so long. Far too little gave her joy, and it did not fail to strike her as ironic that the one thing she sought to kill was the one thing that saved her. Funny, she never did think of Hiei for one moment as a demon, even though she knew differently.
Breaking away from his gaze, she stared outside at the brightness and sunshine and the birds that chirped so merrily. "Hai, but I will stop him. Even if it costs me my life I'll stop him."
Shades of determination were highlighted on her face, and Hiei didn't doubt her words for a second. I hope it never comes to that…
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Author's Blurb: Holy Hiei OOC O.O