Disclaimer: I dont own Galadriel, Legolas, ahhh you know who belongs to Tolkien. But I own Legolas' brothers, Langolin, Brethil, and Limiel. This chapter ( and story) is very strongly inspired by Deborah's fic Naming the Stone.
"The teacher who walks in the shadow of the temple, among her followers,
gives not of her wisdom,
but rather of her faith and lovingness.
------Khalil Gibran (The Prophet, about Teaching)
Chapter 7: Man nányë (Who I am)
Galadriel had found a loom in the house and Limiel gladly gave her permission to use it. She needed something to do and weaving was always her interest. With her Noldorian craftsmanship and thousands of year practicing, it was needless to say that she could turn ordinary materials into something beyond any textile Legolas ever caught sight of. The fabric was plain grey with a silky smooth texture, and she managed to insert thin silver and golden strands woven here and there systematically, which made the fabric shimmer luxuriously.
Darkness crept slowly over her soul again. She tried not to succumb, but it was getting harder each moment. Half conscious, she sang out her pain. A lament about her exile, and her longing for home:
Vaháya etya nór farnyë.
Márllo hehtanyë.Menello massë ilúvëmárië .
Valinorllo massë na mánanye.
Man nányë nan equën,
Na ilya estel avanwie?
Each words she hummed pierced Legolas' heart. He hardly understood the meaning, but the gloomy emotion in the song was heartbroking enough to tear his heart. She seemed so melancholic, yet no less beautiful than yesterday. Legolas was sure he had fallen in love. But questions in his mind warred against his affection.
Finally he could not resist the urge to satisfy his curiosity anymore. He had to know. Impetuous he was, but he had learned from mistakes made by Daeross.
"Lady?" he called her gently.
"Yes?" Galadriel stopped singing and raised her eyes to Legolas, who was sitting nervously in front of her.
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Of course, young Eldar. I heard your brothers calling you Legolas. Is that your name?"
Legolas nodded ere he continued, "Who are you?"
"My name is Galadriel. My maiden name was Nerwen Artanis." Having answered the questions, she focused back on the loom.
"I know your name. But who are you actually?"
Galadriel laughed softly. She had understood the conflict battling in the young Elf's mind the moment he sat in front of her, watching her with the confused look in his innocent eyes. His mind was so irresistible and easy to read. She knew what the young Elf felt and thought about her, which was not a surprise.
She smiled sweetly and asked, "Who I am, you asked. But which side of me do you want to know?"
Legolas was puzzled, "Pardon me, what do you mean which side of you?"
"Let's take a walk outside whilst we talk. The nature holds many treasured teachings for you, Legolas."
Legolas was curious as to what the nature could do to answer him. Telling Limiel he would go out, he followed Galadriel, who had walked out of the house and sat on a rock under a tree. Legolas sat on the ground beside her.
The sun was shining brightly, heating the land with its rays. Wind did not blow to ease the tormenting weather. Birds were not singing as they and other creatures took refuge from the boiling heat. The nature was in deep silence, save for the stream flowing afar. It was as if Arda was waiting for Galadriel to speak.
But she too, was silent.
Hours passed. Legolas was impatient, but Galadriel seemed to submerge into the nature and had completely forgotten him.
"You said you would answer me. But you only sit and say nothing. Is it a trick so I allow you to go out of the house?" he raised his voice.
Galadriel closed her eyes, but didn't say a word. Legolas was angry, but restrained himself.
Hours passed like eternity. Legolas curiosity was peaking, tormenting him, and he could bear it no more. He jumped up and yelled to Galadriel, "Why don't you answer me? I never knew a simple question such as 'Who are you' would need such long meditation!"
Galadriel's eyes met his. Neither anger nor blame was there, only compassion and wisdom. With a kind tone she replied," I have asked you, but you did not answer. Now I shall ask the same question, which side of me do you wish to know?"
Legolas was getting more furious, "I really don't understand the meaning of your words, and my question remains. Who are you actually?"
Galadriel rose. She walked to a nearby bush and picked a beautiful wild rose. She turned to face Legolas and handed him the flower. "What do you see, young Eldar?"
Legolas answered, "This is an Eglatine*."
"Look closer and try to answer your question. What or who is this rose?"
The young Elf frowned in confusion, "This is an Eglatine rose. A wild rose grows in bushes. Maidens love to pick them to make perfumes and soap." 'And yesterday you were scented like one of these, driving me insane with your loveliness,' he added in his heart.
Galadriel noticed his thought, but her expression did not changed. "You are a Wood-Elf, surely you can tell more."
He tried hard to recall everything he knew about the flower. Finally with an unyielding tone he answered, "I remembered being told that the flower is poisonous for Man when eaten. It is my mother and Limiel's favorite flower. As for me, this flower means nothing. I prefer trees. I cannot tell you more, I am not expert in healing or herbs."
"That is a good start." Galadriel ignored his unfriendly tone and walked farther into the forest, beckoning Legolas to follow her.
After a while she paused and picked up another kind of flower, "Who is this?"
Legolas took the flower from her hand and answered impatiently, "This is belladonna. It is very poisonous. It can drive mortals to insanity and death. That is all I know."
Galadriel added, "Belladonna means beautiful lady. She gets her name because female Adan* use her on their eyes for make up. For a skilful healer, she is a useful herb for treating digestive illness. For beasts and mortals, she is poisonous and dangerous. For me, she is another beauty nature has bestowed upon us. " She paused a moment ere she continued, "That is what we see in this flower. But how does she feel? How does she see herself?"
Legolas was trying to grasp the meaning of her words, but it was still too blurry for his mind. "Explain to me what it is all about," he pleaded.
She looked into his eyes, "Tell me. Who am I?" Her gaze was sharp and demanding, but kept their warmth and kindness.
"What? That's my question for you, and you ask me back?"
"Just answer me." Her eyes were as beautiful as ever but something had changed. Legolas could see that her role had altered. She had become his teacher.
Legolas turned his eyes to the beech tree beside him, pondering. 'How shall I answer her? None of my knowledge can make anyone content, especially she. And do I know anything about her, save from other people's words?'
Hours passed. Legolas turned and saw Galadriel was still standing behind him, waiting.
Legolas avoided her gaze ere he answered, "I know from my brothers that you are the ruler of Lothlorien and an Evil Witch with strong powers. You are my teacher's adversary. He has waited very long to take revenge on you for some crime that I know nothing about. You are his prisoner now, but he does not seem content. I can sense that you possess kindness and wisdom. And you are the most confusing Elf I have ever encountered."
"And…?"
The young Elf waited a while ere he continued hesitantly, " You are the most beautiful maiden have ever seen. And I think my heart fell for you." His fair skin turned scarlet, embarrassed.
Galadriel did not mock him. Without change in her tone and expression, she continued her interrogation, "And which side of me do you want to know? Me as the Witch? Me as a ruler of Lorien? Me as your teacher's adversary? Me as a prisoner? Or me as a beautiful creature whom you are attracted to? "
Legolas shrugged, "I don't know."
"And how shall I answer your question then?"
Legolas looked down, feeling ashamed of his simplistic thinking.
With a kind and gentle tone, she gave a hint to their lesson, "If you are a beast and you see this little flower, you only see her poison and danger. You will not listen to her if she said she was merely protecting herself or that her poison was actually useful."
" You ask me who I am, but you only want to ensure that I am available to quench the feeling you call love. If my answers were unsatisfying, you would despise me. Do you truly want to discover me or only want to wrench me?" Finally she let out the indignation she had felt for so many years at her admirers. Strong was her ability to control herself, and she kept her tone neutral, as if she was merely stating out fact, despite the resentment she felt.
She paused and took a deep breath ere she continued, "You asked me who I am, and the only thing I can tell you now is that the answers will not be pleasant to your ears. Do you still want to know me?"
"I guess so, " Legolas murmured. His eyes met hers, and he saw her pain. Pain of being abhorred, and adored.
"Why?" His teacher asked. Legolas looked away and did not respond.
Galadriel felt the need to encourage him and spoke by her mind, 'you know the answer, young Eldar. All wisdom comes within.'
After long hours of reflecting and thinking, he finally understood. It was as if he was enlightened by something. "I understand now, " Legolas met her eyes, this time with boldness and certainty. "I want to know who you are because I only want to love you and accept you, not to justify my own preconception about you. And I will love you, the you whom you willingly disclose to me, and the you whom you choose to hide from me. I want to know how you see and how you feel, so I shall see and feel as you do."
Galadriel smiled, "You learn very quick, even for an Elf. You store great potential for wisdom within you." She was clearly satisfied on her new student's quick improvement.
Legolas turned away for he had blushed again. Galadriel was his teacher now, but she was the same lovely maiden he was infatuated with. And he could not deny that he still wanted her.
"Come, let us go back now. It is almost dark and the las thing I want is to have your brother chasing us, thinking that I have hexed you into something unnatural," her eyes flickered with a spark of humor.
"A frog maybe?" Legolas laughed, " and I'll need a beautiful maiden to kiss me in order to reverse the spell." He could not restrain his mind from asking further, 'If I am a frog, will you kiss me?'
Noticing his thought, Galadriel laughed and shook her head. 'I have to teach you about this matter soon, young Elf,' she thought privately. Together they walked side-by-side, heading back to Limiel's house, enjoying the new bond that had just begun.
*****************
The real poem!
Etyangoldi ( Exiled Noldor)
Faraway in exile land I dwell.
From my home I have been banished.
From heaven where all is well.
From Valinor where I was cherished.
But who am I that I could tell.
If all the hope has vanished?
*Eglantine : A type of wild rose, with sweet-smelling flowers and leaves, also known as sweetbriar. Frodo and Sam found it growing in Ithilien as they journeyed through that land. Reference: Encyclopedia of Arda. I pretend that it was a common flower in Middle Earth. As for the usage and the poison it contains, I made it up myself. About the belladonna, everything I wrote is based on a biology book, but I can't tell if it actually grows in Middle Earth or not.
*Adan = mortal ( man) in Sindarin.