Time does not bring relief; you all have lied
Who told me time would ease me of my pain!
- - - -Edna St. Vincent Millay "Time Does Not Bring Relief"

Chapter 8: Rucin (Fear)

It was morning. Sun was kind, shining down warm rays and bright light. Birds were chirping and butterflies flying; contented on the gentleness of the weather. Leaves of trees whispered softly as wind blew to and fro. The forest was in peace and harmony.

Legolas had asked to take a walk together, and Galadriel was not reluctant to agree for she had missed the nature terribly. They had her vow, but Aeglos never trusted her enough to let her go out alone.

Legolas perched on a tree, closing his eyes and listening to the voices of the Woods. Not far from him, with a basket in her hand, Galadriel picked several berries and flowers for Limiel. Her activity reminded of her childhood when she was playing with Finrod, conveniently forgetting her task to bring home the fruits and flowers. 'And now I do the assignment without being asked.' Her heart was aching again in memory of her brothers' death and her faraway parents whom she might not meet again for eternity. 'So many tragedies have I gone through. I wonder what makes me survive.'

Legolas opened his eyes and watched her serenely picked some wild roses from nearby bushes. As always, her sorrow and grief were obvious. Being young and a warrior, Legolas barely understood other feelings save for courage and fear. 'What could make one miserable but fear? Is she afraid?'

"Lady Galadriel?" he called her softly.

"Yes, Legolas?" she was awoken from her daydream and her eyes met Legolas' who sat above her.

"You seem so sad."

"Thank you for your concern. No, I am not afraid. I am just remembering my past."

"How do you know my question? I haven't even asked!" Legolas almost fell from the tree, surprised.

Galadriel gave a faint smile, "Seems like my careless tongue betrayed me."

"What do you mean?" Legolas asked. Staring at her, he figured out everything. "You can intrude my mind," he said softly.

She nodded, "I apologize, Legolas."

He shook his head, "Nay, it is me who is foolish. I should have realized from beginning. Now, everything is clear to me. Do not worry, it will not make me think less of you." He tried hard not to think for fear of being noticed, but could not. 'How can I hate you? You are too lovely and charming.' His innocent face blushed.

Galadriel smiled gratefully, "Thank you. A friend is too valuable for me to lost, especially in time like this."

Legolas fought to conquer his infatuation and forced himself to feel sympathy for Galadriel. He jumped from the tree and stood beside her. He reached out for her unoccupied hand and held it gently, trying to offer her comfort.

Galadriel sighed, "I am fine, Legolas. Shadows of remembrance will not kill what grieves have failed to do."

She squeezed Legolas' hand for a second and pulled hers away while she smiled reassuringly at the young Elf. She turned away and her voice was neutral again, trying to engage in normal conversation.

"You have many questions about me, Legolas. Since you learned your first lesson, I shall give the answers you seek. I cannot answer everything according to your wish, though."

"It is fine, Lady."

"What is your first question then?"

Legolas thought ere he spoke, "What is it that you fear most?"

Galadriel laughed, "What I fear most? Is your question for me or for yourself? The only thing I can say to you is that everything I fear most would come to me. And so, I better spare my mind from fear."

Legolas was puzzled, as he usually did when talking to Galadriel.

The Lady sat beside the stream bank; playing the water with her fingers while spoke dreamily, "When I was young and dwelled within the Blessed Realm, my greatest fear was to loose Laurelin, from whom I got my Elven light and joy, and she was destroyed. When I came to Middle Earth I could not imagine living without Finrod, but he too, died. Then I was afraid that I could never return to my homeland again, but being so proud of my strength and willpower, I tried to conquer my fear and rejected Valar's order to return. And so, I got what I have chosen." She paused, gathering her strength, "Long afterwards, my greatest fear was for my beloved daughter well being, but she too, almost died and must left to the West. Few weeks ago, I had premonition from my Mirror, vision of my death. I was not afraid. It is just that… "

She let out deep breath and continued, "I did not know I must left Celeborn, the person I love most and my rock of strength. My greatest fear was to be alone. But Fate snatched all I loved one by one and now I have no one besides me. Nothing."

Deep silence fell between them. Legolas did not know what to say. He could not pretend he understood, and he would not try to. His curiosity was answered, but with the cost of her pain.

Legolas sat beside her and thought, 'I am sorry, I shouldn't ask.'

'I do not wish to burden you. You don't have to be sorry. But learn that one simple question stores many meanings, 'Galadriel replied.

Galadriel turned to meet her eyes with his and smiled. "Do you have anymore question?"

Legolas was hesitant, afraid to cause her more pain, but his mind could not lie, 'I wonder about your feeling right now. You must hate us so for causing you such misery.'

"I am not, Legolas. I don't hate any of you, neither I blame you."

"Why?" Legolas spoke. 'You are too noble and kind for not loathing us after all we do to you.'

'Ah, but I am not that altruistic. Too bad. I have my reason, a self serving reason, for my attitude.'

'And what is that?'

Galadriel sighed before she answered loudly, "I cannot abhor nor blame you for causing me to go through this since I, too, have caused many people to face their utmost fear and threw them into deep despair."

She raised and walked away, leaving Legolas with his own thoughts, struggling to comprehend her last words.

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