Blast you
Author: Silhouette
Websites: http://www.eddiec.cjb.net (Homepage)
http://www.silhouette.cjb.net (Rukawa)
http://www.thunderstormsenru.cjb.net (SenRu)
Genre: Humor (??)
Ratings: Eh well…PG-13?
Author's note: …zzz…
Disclaimer: *Beep* SD does not belong to me…*Beep* I'm just so jealous of Inoue-sensei…
Summary: What happens when the SD people are out-of-character? Go figure… ^^;; As usual, these crap will end at Chapter 8, so you know what to expect. ^___^
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Episode one
[Opening theme song] No money: Composed by Eddie
~Baby I'm so sorry, me ain't got the money..~
/Shows Sakuragi Gundan sliding across the screen, their pockets pulled out indicating "No-money". /
~If ye just forgive me, maybe I'll earn some money…~
/Shows Uozumi selling fish, the customers fishing out wads of cash. /
~It's really not my fault darling, that I really lack money…~
/Shows Rukawa patting a crumpled up bicycle sadly, repair men looking evil. /
~Oooh, darling baby, bless my heart, but would you give me some money…~
/Shows Sendoh smiling languidly at a girl driving a Jaguar, hearts appear in the girl's eyes. /
~Aaah, what's the world coming to….~
/Shows Sakuragi being dumped for the 50th time, explosions and volcanic eruptions on the surface of earth. /
~I…Have…No….Mo-neeeeeeeeey..~
/SD people bow and drown in money. /
/Screen explodes with the title falling in place – "Blast you!"/
{Eh, I don't know if there's a song like that…}
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|| Blue skies, sparkling clear sea water…doves flying across the poetically beautiful Kanagawa sky… ||
*Splat*
|| Maybe some dove droppings as well…||
Down the streets, was a small café with the sign saying "Danny's corner". It was not too crowded despite the fact that it was lunchtime; well… you can't expect anything since McDonalds and KFC are fast invading the Lunch market now. Old man Danny look wistfully at the few customers sitting around the place, his vision fell on a silent figure sitting in a shady corner. She had this short ponytail, black hair – not dyed, and wore spectacles. 'Strange clothes', he thought, 'Not many girls wear that nowadays. I thought they were supposed to wear spaghetti strap blouses and mini-skirts and dye their hair or something.' The girl was wearing this extremely over-sized black windbreaker, black T-shirt with a hideous monster skull, and black jeans. He even saw a grinning skull pendant suspended around her neck just now, when she took her meal orders.
The door creaked open, and Old man Danny turned to see a tall boy stepping in. "Konnichiwa, may I be of any help?" He asked politely. This boy is definitely a new customer, since he should be able to recognize someone of such good looks. "Shove off, old creak." The blue eyes narrowed, as the boy snarled.
Shocked, Old man Danny took a step back, making an evil mental note to put some laxative in that offending boy's food or drink later. But unfortunately he was unable to do so as the boy took no notice of the menu, and instead, strode over to the girl sitting in the corner. He said something to her, and she jumped up angrily, yelling at him, "You I-diot!" and took to her heels out of the shop. The young man followed.
Old man Danny raised an eyebrow, surprised. "Well, well, it's just too bad." He sighed, thinking of the missed chance to poison the rude youngster.
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Edana cursed under her breath about destroyed ovens and stupid first-timers, "How many times did I tell him to leave my oven alone, especially when I'm not around? That Kaede, I will have him for dinner." She rubbed her hands fiendishly and walked on. Sendoh caught up with her, "Hoy, don't walk so fast." He muttered gruffly.
"Shut up." She snapped, "How could I not rush. My poor oven." Edana mourned.
"Stop 'shut-up'-ing me, you little crap," Sendoh glared angrily, "I'm not the one to blow up your precious oven. What's the big deal anyway?"
"Oh yeah? You are not the one to pay US$900 for it." She started calculating the number of hours Kaede should wash her car, "That amounts to 90 weeks of car washing," she came to a solution.
"That's two years, you would have gotten a new oven by then." Sendoh rolled his eyes. Sheesh,Women.
"Shut up."
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|| A house which was extremely ancient looking and had the feel of a Transylvanian Dracula castle to it, covered in ivy, stood right at the end of the ancient street which was probably around since the Medieval. Two crows flew by, cawing their souls out. ||
"This house is just so cool,
perfect for murdering someone and burying him in the dungeons." A certain bespectacled
boy told a long hair youth beside him, as they raced by on his motorbike.
"But that's heinous, Kiminobu," The long hair youth sighed good-naturedly,
patting his friend's shoulder.
"Hahaha, but I love evil things," Kogure smiled in a really gothic manner, "Haven't you realized that ages ago, Hisashi? Hang on, I'm increasing the speed." He geared on and the motorbike disappeared round a corner.
Meanwhile, an angry Edana planned how to assassinate a certain fox-like young man and storing him somewhere. The dungeons, perhaps.
"Hm, but I don't have a dungeon." She noted grimly, "I shall see about that soon."
Sendoh yelled furiously, "Let me in!"
The darned girl had slammed the doors in his face and locked the door, staunchly refusing to let him in.
I'm not going to have someone witnessing the murder. She gritted her teeth, glaring at the smoke issuing from the kitchen, "You just get your butt out of my kitchen, Kaede." Edana growled.
A drop-dead gorgeous boy came out, an apologetic smile on his face, "Ohayo, Eddie."
"How did it happen," Edana shoved him aside, striding into the smoky kitchen.
"I eh, I wanted to bake a cake and eh…"
"Right, you forgot to switch the oven off." She pulled out an unidentified burnt object from the depths of the carbonized oven. "90 weeks of car washing, no arguments, out."
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{Narrator's voice}
So, Rukawa is damned to 90 weeks of car washing for Edana, and it's a very sad thing, since Edana drives a 20-ton cargo carrion. Would he escape that predicament? Or will Sendoh help him? Please catch the next episode of "Blast you" and have a nice day.
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Author's note: Flames and such will be used for incinerating junk mail.
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[End theme song] Until the world comes to an end [Also known as Sekai Ga Owaru Made wa]
I'm all alone in the big city,
Thrown away like an empty can.
/Shows Mitsui drinking beer alone. He crushes the can and threw it away. /
/A policeman comes by and hands out a fine bill for littering. /
If love is love until we know everything about each other
Then let's sleep forever...
/Shows Rukawa snoozing peacefully on a bed of roses. /
/He is covered in injuries from rose thorns. /
Until the world comes to an end, we won't be apart.
I wished it for countless nights
/Sakuragi looking out of the window, tears glistening in his eyes. /
/In his hands was a letter that said, "Retrenched"/
Why does the past destroy even the worn-out heart that shines?
Melancholically fleeting thoughts... on this tragedy night
/SD people sliding around the stage, dancing cha-cha. /
And so, people seek an answer
And lose something that's irreplaceable
/Miyagi worked on a test paper. He scratched his head and sought the answer. /
/And lose the marks that are irreplaceable. /
A city filled with desires, even the stardust
in the night skies doesn't shine on us
/Ayako looking up at the starry night, and watch a meteor fly by. /
/Meteor lands fifty meters away and blew up a trash can. /
Before the world comes to an end, please make me listen.
A catastrophy well suited to a flower in full bloom...
/Haruko pulling out the petals of a rose. /
/He loves me…he loves me not…/
While everyone wishes, no one believes in eternity.
...Even so, they certainly dream about tomorrow.
/SD people all asleep. Dreaming about many things. /
/Eg. Miyagi: Ayako falls in love with him… alas! It's only a dream. /
Short-lived days and... this tragedy night
/SD people crying and kowtowing to a solemn looking man. /
/"Oh, Sensei, please let us pass this exam…" /
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To be continued